Chapter 28:
A few days later, Castiel heard knocking at the door unusually early the next morning. On his way to the door, he happened to glance at the clock on the nightstand, confused as to why someone was at the door at five in the morning. Meg was gone. She had gone to take care of some things that she didn't specify to Castiel, but he stayed behind to wait for her to return. However, she wouldn't knock on the door when she did return, because she had the room key.
Castiel was more than surprised to see Candy standing there, drenched by the rain, hugging her body tightly. As much as he cared for Meg, he couldn't help but feel a slight pang in his chest at the sight of her, hair soaked and falling down in loose curls around her face. Seeing her trembling made him want to pull her against him, to warm her up the best he could. That was the magic of Candy, though. No matter how much he tried to pretend that he didn't still feel something for her, seeing her like that reinvigorated something in him. Quickly, he shoved those old feelings back down again.
"Come inside, Candy, it's pouring," Castiel stepped aside to let her in. She moved slowly, almost cautiously. There was a constant distance kept between her and Cas, as if she was afraid to get too close to him. "Where have you been? We've all been very worried about you, Candy. Dean said that he tried calling you constantly, but you never answered the phone."
"I text him."
"Just saying that 'you're fine' is cruel, don't you think? Two word. 'I'm fine.' That's all that he got from you. Don't you think that you were being a little unfair to us, Candy?"
"There's a lot going on, Cas. I needed to take care of some things... To figure out some things... I'm sorry. I'm back, though." She slid out of her jacket, tossing it onto the tile floor by the bathroom. "I now it wasn't right of me to just up and leave, but when I tell you what I found out, you'll understand. I hope anyways..."
"What'd you find out?" He asked curiously.
"Two things. Two very important things. Do you want the bad news or the worse news?" She ran her fingers through her soaked hair. Castiel thought for a moment, then decided on the bad news first. "Well," Candy began with a sigh. "I found out that I'm not what you think I am... Not what anyone thinks I am... Castiel, I'm not human."
"What do you mean?"
"I met a demon while I was gone. They recognized me... It wasn't your everyday kind of demon, though. It was a succubus. She recognized me because she said I'm a succubus, too. Only half, though. My mother was a succubus, which explains a lot." Candy sat on the end of the bed. "My mother used to come home with random men all of the time. Everyone told her that she was going to turn me into a whore just like she was... I hated her for it when I got older. Now, it makes sense."
"You can't just take the word of some random demon." Castiel sat on the other bed. "It seems really random, doesn't it? To just suddenly be told that you're half demon, and the kind that uses sex to kill men, no less." Candy shifted uncomfortably,
"Why else would all three of you feel drawn to me the way you do?" She asked. "They can't help themselves, can they? It's my fault. I'm a succubus."
"They're smart enough to know the difference between love and sexual attraction," Castiel frowned. "I don't know for sure, Candy, but it just seems like such a sudden thing. What happened to the demon?"
"I killed her."
"Oh," Cas sighed, "I guess that's good."
"Cas," Candy leaned forwards. "Can you answer me something honestly? Don't lie, Cas. Please." He stared at her for a moment, unsure of what he was supposed to do. "Do you have strong feelings for Meg?" He hesitated for a moment, but nodded once he was reminded that he needed to be completely truthful. "Can I try something?" She asked him nervously, body starting to shake again. Castiel nodded again, more concerned than he was before.
Candy stood slowly, then walked until she was standing directly in front of him. She dropped her arms to her side, then grabbed his hands. He stood with her, in front of her, incredibly close to her. Castiel felt even more nervous than before, but he also felt anxious. His hands ached to reach out to her, and his eyes focused on her plump pink lips, coated with a light lip stick that she wore many times before.
"Now, answer honestly," she breathed. "Do you want to touch me right now, Castiel?" She released his hands, but they lingered there. Castiel stared down at them for a moment, noting how easy it would be to just reach out and grab her hips, or wrap his arms around her completely. He balled his fists, then, and forced them down to his sides. "You do, don't you? You want to touch me."
"I used to love you, Candy. I always wanted to touch you."
"But now you love Meg. Yet, here you are, wanting to touch me so bad that you can hardly stand it. Don't you think that there has to be a reason for that? I'm not some supermodel or amazingly beautiful woman, Cas. I'm just me. But, for whatever reason, I've always had this ability to attract people if I wanted to. It's never failed. I'm not trying to sound over-confident or conceited... but it's weird, isn't it? Couldn't it be possible that I'm a succubus?"
"I don't know, Candy." He wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying. Instead, he was focusing on keeping his hands at his side. Eventually, it became uncontrollable. "Are you doing this on purpose?" He asked her.
"I'm testing something," she responded. Castiel kept his gaze focused on the ground, starting to admit to himself that it was possible. "I figured out that I can do it on command. I just have to imagine it. To think hard about it. To want it badly." Castiel turned his head away from her. "If I can break you, Cas. That means it's true, right?"
"I don't know, Candy. Not necessarily... It could just be me."
"You're not the kind of person to do wrong by someone else," Candy scoffed. "You really like Meg. You wouldn't do something to hurt her without some kind of force, Cas. Admit it. It's not that far-fetched to think." Castiel closed his eyes as tight as he could. "You feel it, don't you? It's not a coincidence."
"Candy, please."
"Then, admit it."
"No. It's not you, Candy. It's me. It has to be." He looked up at her, and he saw an overwhelming amount of pain in her bright eyes. He couldn't help himself anymore. His hands flew upwards and grabbed her face, and his lips went crashing down onto hers. She started to walk back, but he pulled her closer to him, hands gripping her waist tightly, needily.
"Cas, stop," she put her hand on his chest and pushed until she forced him away from her. Castiel stepped back, hand covering his mouth, eyes wide with both regret and concern. Candy crouched down on the floor and put her face in her hands. Suddenly, she began sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry, Cas. I'm sorry."
"Why are you crying?"
"Because it's true, Cas," she looked up at him with tears slipping down her face. "I'm not human... Sam and Dean... They fell for me because I wanted them to. They want to touch me because I want them to. I can force them to... What if that's the only reason they love me? Because I want them to love me... What if it's not real? What if I'm trapping them?"
"No, Candy. They love you. Honestly."
"How can you know? How could they even know?" She buried her face again, continuing to cry.
"Don't you think Meg would have known? Or I would have? We can sense when there's a demon, Candy."
"I'm only half. I'm just barely a succubus, Cas. Maybe my humanity masks it," she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, Cas, but damn it. It makes sense. It makes sense that I'm a succubus. It makes sense..."
"You're not a succubus, okay? Even if you are half, you're not the same. Succubi kill men using their talents, Candy. You're not a killer. You don't have it in you. Just because you have the ability to seduce men, doesn't make you like them."
"Doesn't it?"
"No. Like I said before, it may not even be true. You heard it from some regular demon off of the street."
"She knew my mother. They were friends."
"It doesn't mean anything."
"That's not even the worst thing, Cas..." Candy stood and wiped her eyes with her hands. Castiel braced himself for what she was going to tell him now. "There's something else. It's the reason I left in the first place."
"What is it?"
"I don't know how much you know about human women, but we have this monthly thing that happens. It's usually a pretty regular thing, you know. Happens near the same days each month."
"I know what a menstrual cycle is, Candy."
"Well, mine was late."
"What does that mean?"
"I went to a doctor, Cas," she sniffed. "It means I'm pregnant." Castiel was stunned, frozen in place. He stared into her eyes, but his focus was elsewhere. The first question on his mind leaked from his mouth,
"Whose is it?" He wished he hadn't asked that question. Candy started crying again, although much more quietly than before. "I'm sorry," he quickly apologized. "I shouldn't have-"
"I don't know whose it is, Cas. It could be either of them... How do I tell them that? Both of them have a chance at being a father, but I don't know which one. I'm not sure if I want to know which one." Castiel cocked his head to the side in confusion. "What if I figure it out, and then the other one doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?"
"I doubt they would be so cruel."
"Sam wanted kids. He wants marriage and kids and a regular life. Dean doesn't want kids. What if it's Dean's? He may not want it, Cas. I couldn't stand to know that Dean doesn't want this baby. To be honest... I don't even know if I want a baby."
"What are you going to do?"
"Tell them. Ask them what they want me to do." She rubbed her eyes again. "I'm so scared, Castiel. I can't bring a baby into this life, but... it's already inside of me. It's a part of me, and a part of one of them. I don't know if I have the heart to get rid of it. I had a friend who was adopted. She was obsessed with finding her real parents, and convinced that she was worthless because even her own mother didn't want her. I can't do that to this baby, Cas. I can't make it feel unwanted."
"I don't know what to tell you, Candy... Talk to Sam and Dean about it. That's all you can do."
"I don't want to... I'm scared."
"They love you. They'll help you however you need it, and if you keep it, they'll love it like it's their own, even if it's not." Castiel put a hand on her shoulder. "I'll be here, too, Candy. Whenever you need me and I'm not around, just pray for me. I'll be there."
"Thank you," she hugged him tightly. "Can I stay here tonight? I'm not ready to face them, and I don't want to ask Adam to stay with him."
"Sure. Meg won't be back until the afternoon anyways. Don't you need warm clothes, though?"
"I'll shower and borrow some of Meg's clothes," Candy shrugged. "I'm sure she'll understand. I'll explain it to her when she comes back so she isn't mad at you. I like Meg. I think you picked a good one, Cas."
"I did," he smiled half-heartedly. "I did before, too."
"No," Candy shook her head. "I'm not good, Cas. I'm bad. For everyone."
"Don't say that."
"Why not? It's true. How am I supposed to hunt when I have another life to take care of now? How do I even bring it up to Sam or Dean? I can't just say, 'hey, I'm pregnant, and either one of you could be a father in nine months.' I can't do that to them." Candy searched through the drawers until she found some clothes of Meg's. "I'm going to shower. I'll be out in a minute, Cas."
"Okay," he sighed as she disappeared into the bathroom.
