A/N: Thanks for your reviews!Sorry for the delay; I'm easing back into things and plan on going straight into part two of this chapter since I have some scenes started for it. Warning, a few brief moments of strong language.
Chapter 28- You Don't Own Me- Part 1
"Don't tell me what to do, don't tell me what, don't tell me what to say…"-Lesley Gore
Early Wednesday evening, Jim sat at the kitchen table, sipping his coffee as he glanced at the newspaper. The words on the page didn't saturate his brain as usual; his attention torn between the pages and Johanna as she argued with Martha on the phone while she vigorously scrubbed down the counter. He sighed quietly; relieved that his wife's name didn't make the paper today, nor did his daughter's; but the turmoil from their shopping trip had been lingering for days. Katie's planned outing, complete with media tip off had sent the press into a buzz once again…reporters had camped outside the house for two days until finally one of the neighbors called the police about the annoyance and they were forced to move on. Having the media back outside the door had only increased Johanna's ire about the whole situation…and just as she had stated; a lot of reporters didn't miss the chance to remark upon how the outing happened so quickly on the heels of Kate's statement to the media. The 'I told you so' phone call battle had raged for an hour Sunday, Jim recalled; his head giving a small throb in remembrance of the headache it had inspired.
His daughter usually chose to give her mother a day of space in the aftermath of discord…but Katie had chosen to call back Monday and remind Johanna that she was still going to the book release party…and then she had taken up the cause of the color of her mother's dress once more. She had called again Tuesday…she had texted that morning…and now his highly intelligent, well educated daughter, in her infinite wisdom, had decided to bring Martha on board in the war of the red dress. Jim shook his head; why Katie had ever thought that would be a smart move was beyond him. She was only making it worse and he couldn't understand what the issue was with the simple, yet classy red sheath dress Johanna had brought home on Saturday. The main thrust of the debate seemed to center upon 'the message a red dress would send'…it was a statement that puzzled him and also annoyed him. What the hell did the color of a dress matter? Was there a chart in newsrooms around the world dissecting what the color of a dress meant? Was it black for mourning, green for wealth, blue for depression, pink for bubble gum happiness and red for go fuck yourself? If so, then he'd say that Johanna had chosen her color wisely…because his list of people that he'd like to tell to go fuck themselves was growing on a daily basis.
"Martha, I really don't care what you think I should wear to this damn party that you all insist on dragging me to. Katie told me to buy a dress and I bought one!" Johanna exclaimed.
Jim breathed deeply, schooling himself to remain in his chair and not get up and take the phone from her hand. He was sure that she had made that statement twice already but apparently Martha was persistent.
"I don't care that Katie doesn't want me to wear red," Johanna stated. "She's not my mother and I'm not a five year old; she doesn't get to pick my clothes!"
He watched as she began to pace in front of the sink, agitation written in every line of her body.
"I don't care what message either one of you thinks it sends! It's a red dress not a goddamn billboard!"
"Jo, just hang up," Jim remarked; but his wife ignored his statement and kept pacing, her jaw so tense he was afraid she might break her teeth from clenching them together so tightly. He suppressed a sigh; she had been bouncing all over the spectrum of emotions ever since Saturday when Katie had not only proved her suspicions right but had shattered a piece of her heart too with her sabotage and demands. She bounced between hurt, annoyance, defiance; their daughter's words and actions stirring something within her. He had a pretty good idea that Katie had stumbled into that big vat of anger that Johanna kept buried deep inside of her, where it boiled with the intensity of lava beneath the lid she kept clamped down on it. But Katie had loosened the clamps…and when that lid came off, it would be a volcanic eruption that would burn and shake everything in its path.
"Martha," Johanna said, her tone clipped and angry. "I don't care, nor do I need your fashion tips or advice. I asked Katie what color she wanted me to get, she said I could get what I wanted and so I did. Now if it's going to be that big of an issue, I can stay home where I belong because quite frankly, I don't want to go anyway."
Jim waited, his ears straining to hear what Martha was saying but Johanna was too far from him for him to make it out. He could tell that whatever it was, Johanna wasn't liking it and he had a feeling that if Martha didn't stop soon, she'd be very sorry that she had called in the first place.
"Well let me tell you something," Johanna said sharply.
"Here we go," Jim murmured to himself; he knew those words and that tone of voice.
"I don't give a damn what any of you say, I'll wear what the hell I want or I won't go simple as that; and while we're on the phone, Martha; I'll thank you to remind my daughter, that if she has something to discuss that involves her mother, she should take it up with me, not you. I don't need you and Katie and Rick going around making decisions for me and telling me what to do; and if any of you ring my phone one more time about that goddamn dress, I'm not going and no amount of whining, bitching or crying will get me out the fucking door, I can promise you that; because when you show up, I won't be here. All I have to do is say the word and my husband will make sure that we're far from here and untraceable, so you tell Katie to keep pushing her luck, because I'm about at the end of my rope and she's not going to like it when the string runs out…and neither will you if you want to keep carrying the banner for her; now do I make myself clear?"
Jim smiled a little, there was his Sassy; she was ready to pounce this week and he had to admit, sometimes he was relieved to see that side of her peeking out…at least when it wasn't directed at him.
"Did you hear a single word I just said!" she yelled into the phone.
He pushed back his chair and got up from the table, crossing the room and yanking the phone out of Johanna's hand; it was time to end this. "Martha," he said as he put the phone to his ear. "Johanna is wearing the dress she bought or she's not going; now that's the end of it. She's already had this out with Katie and you have no right to stick your nose in it. Mind your own business and let my wife and daughter sort out their own battles; Katie doesn't need you advocating for her."
Martha sighed on the other end of the line. "Jim; we're merely trying to make Johanna see that a softer look would be best for this appearance; she and Kate must be conscious of what the media will think of what they're wearing. Red makes a much bolder statement than we feel would be suitable. She needs to look softer."
"We're Becketts," Jim stated; "We don't do soft appearances. Now you're all going to back the hell off or she's not going because we'll leave town Thursday night and won't come back until Sunday…believe me, whisking my wife away on an impromptu romantic getaway won't hurt my feelings in the slightest and I'll be more than happy to see her in that red dress while we're away. Now you tell Katie to call off her groupies or she's going to answer to me. Have a nice evening, goodnight," he said before ending the call as Martha sputtered on the other end of the light.
"There you go, sweetheart," he said as he met Johanna's gaze and handed her her phone. "Problem solved."
"I was handling it," she stated.
He smiled, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "I know…but I figured it would be better for me to put her in her place and save you another battle with Katie."
"Katie's going to love that line about her groupies," she said with a soft laugh.
Jim grinned. "That was a good one, wasn't it?"
She nodded, another laugh tumbling from her lips. "Yeah; it was," she said, her fingertips grazing the line of his jaw, love shining brightly in her eyes. "You're still my knight in shining armor."
He nodded, his hands slipping around her waist. "I'm always happy to rescue you…even when you don't really need it."
Johanna smiled, leaning in to him, catching his lips in a kiss. "I appreciate it."
Jim held her close, still feeling some left over tension in her body. "Just put them from your mind now."
"One of them will call back."
"Don't answer," he told her. "I don't want you annoyed tonight."
"Oh?" she asked; her brow rising. "Why is that; do you have plans for me?"
"Yes; but not my favorite kind…at the moment. A different kind of surprise…but not like a Katie surprise; because her surprises suck."
Johanna laughed. "She is our daughter, Jim."
"I know and I love her…but her surprises suck…much like her timing; but you know, she's still young, there's hope for her…I think."
"Jim," she said in amusement.
"What?" he asked; "You know she doesn't give good surprises lately."
"Well that's true."
"Exactly; which is why I was letting you know it isn't a Katie surprise."
"Is that what we call bad surprises now?"
"Yes," her husband said with a nod; "Anytime there's a bad surprise, we say 'that's a Katie'."
"I don't think she'd like that."
"Well I didn't like her interrupting the mood I was trying to create with you on Monday evening…I had you nice and relaxed and right where I wanted you and she had to ruin it."
Johanna nodded. "That was a disappointment."
"I know; and the moment hasn't been recaptured yet because of her…so you know; I have to call it as I see it. But getting back on track; it's a good surprise."
She eyed him. "What kind of good surprise? Because I don't mind admitting that I'm kind of leery of surprises."
"A good one, I promise."
"Jewelry, shoes, clothes?"
"None of the above."
"Books? Dvds? Concert tickets?"
"No, sorry."
"Road trip?"
"No; that's a summer thing."
"Trip to Hawaii?"
"No," Jim laughed.
"Then what the hell is left?" Johanna asked.
"A person."
She eyed him warily. "I'm not really in a people mood this week."
"But this is people you like," he told her.
"Are you sure?"
"Definitely."
"Maggie?" she asked, hope shining so brightly in her eyes that he knew he was going to have to find a way to contact the woman and see if he could bring her around.
"No, sweetheart; I've haven't seen Maggie in years. It's Andrew; he's finally back in town and got settled. He said he's coming over this evening, he's looking forward to seeing you."
Worry flicked across her face. "Are you sure he's okay with this?"
"With what?"
"Me?" she murmured as she shoved her phone in her pocket.
Jim nodded. "I've told you that before; he's not holding any grudges. He still loves you like his sister, he's missed you. I swear on my mother's grave that you have nothing to worry about from Andrew; he's coming tonight with the purpose of seeing you."
"Okay," she murmured; feeling the flutter of butterflies in her stomach. The last thing she wanted to do was cause trouble for Jim with his favored brother. It was bad enough that Michael and Madelyn seemed to shunning him because of her.
He cupped her cheek, knowing her worry hadn't abated. "It's going to be fine; you'll see…and he's bringing Gabby…I hear she's looking forward to meeting her aunt."
"Do you think she'll like me?"
He smiled. "Sweetheart; she's going to love you. She might be a little shy at first but that's just her nature so if she's a little quiet, don't take it as anything against you, that's just how she is, but once she gets warmed up, she'll talk your ear off. Andrew explained everything to her, she understands what happened."
"It's not an easy thing to understand," Johanna said softly.
"Gabby's a smart girl; she understands…and she can't wait to meet you. Andrew's been telling her what a good aunt you are and she desperately needs a good aunt in her life…all she has is Natalie and Madelyn and you run circles around them in the aunt department, sweetheart. I have no doubt that you and Gabby will hit it off. Don't worry; it's all going to be fine, I promise."
"Okay," she replied, conjuring up a smile for him as her phone rang in her pocket.
"Don't answer that," Jim stated; "You're not available."
Johanna pulled the phone from her pocket. "It's Katie."
"Definitely don't answer it," her husband said. "Leave it here in the kitchen and let's go watch some TV until Andrew and Gabby get here. They should be here within the hour; he said he was taking her to look at a dress and then they'd be over."
She looked at the phone in her hand and then back to her husband; unsure of what to do, but then she felt that flicker of anger as she thought of how her daughter had been acting the last several days and she laid the phone on the counter before slipping her hand into Jim's.
"That's my girl," he told her as he led her from the kitchen.
A short while later, Johanna was nervously twisting her rings around her fingers as Jim went to answer the door. She hated feeling queasy about facing family members; but with the mixed response she had received so far, she couldn't help but be wary despite Jim's assurances. She could hear her brother-in-law's voice mingling with Jim's in the entryway, the typical brotherly ribbing taking place that she was accustomed to between them, followed by the soft tones of a young girl's voice. The voices grew quieter and she knew that Jim was probably murmuring to his brother, warning him of her nervousness…and who knew what else. Sometimes she was afraid to know what he told people about her these days. She knew it wouldn't be anything terrible, he loved her…but she imagined that he had a chore in subtly explaining the way she was now as opposed to before.
Before and after…another thing she hated. It was a hard thing to adjust to; having your life split into segments, the good, the bad, the rebound. Rebounding was just as hard as the bad stuff in some ways. Overall, she felt like she was the same person she always had been…but there were little things…a sense of wariness, nervousness…deep wells of regret. She closed her eyes; she didn't want to think about it. She just wanted to be completely normal again; she wanted to see relatives and not be afraid of what they might say to her or if they'd shun her. She wanted to have a normal relationship with her daughter…one where her child didn't spend so much time telling her what to do and where to go and what she owed. She wanted to just be herself; like she always had been; not as worried, not as stressed, normal relationships, independent, less fear.
Johanna forced herself to take a breath, trying to quell the nervous energy that filled her; now wasn't the time to be dwelling on things like that. She just wasn't at the top of her game today…but of course, she had felt off balance ever since the weekend and the disaster of her shopping trip with Katie. Her gaze fell to the carpet; being off balance; that was yet another thing she hated…but at the moment, she hated being nervous about family the most. She took another breath and exhaled slowly; trying to let it all go; the nerves, the frustration with Katie and the world at large, her worries. She just had to try and let it go for awhile.
Footsteps sounded and she rose from the chair, unsure if she was ready to face her guests or not and yet at the same time she was relieved that they had decided to end their lingering in the entry way so she could get this over with.
Jim stepped into the room first and made his way to her side, his hand falling against the small of her back to comfort her, seeing the worry that she was trying to disguise.
"Hey, Angel face," Andrew said with a grin as he made his way to her. "You're looking beautiful as always."
She smiled, a hint of nerves in the gesture as she met her brother-in-law's eye. "It's good to see you," she replied softly.
"I know," he teased as he pulled her into his arms for a tight hug. "I made your whole day, didn't I?"
She gave a soft laugh as she accepted his embrace. "It's good to see that you still have that Beckett conceit."
"It's not conceit if it's true," Andrew quipped as he released her from his hug but kept his hands gently curled around her arms as he studied her. "How are you?"
"I'm okay," she replied with a small smile. "How are you?"
"We'll talk about me later," he stated. "Is Jim treating you alright?"
"Of course," Johanna said, her smile more genuine. "He always treats me right."
"You sure about that?" her brother-in-law teased. "Because if he's not treating you right; I'm still available."
"Hey," Jim said good naturedly.
"What?" Andrew grinned; "She has to know her options."
"If she didn't want your option 37 years ago, why would she want it now?" he laughed.
"Well I figure by now, she's had enough of you," he teased.
"No; not nearly enough," Johanna remarked, a smile still clinging to her lips.
Andrew tsked. "He's still got you over on the dark side, Angel face?"
"It looks that way…you know, he's got those blue eyes that I've always been partial to."
He sighed dramatically. "Alright then; but if you decide you're tired of him or he gives you trouble; I'm still available."
"Why is that?" she asked lightly, some of her unease fading.
Andrew smiled. "Women just can't handle all this; looks, charm, gentlemanly ways, successful career, cute kid…I just overwhelm them."
"Oh please," Jim scoffed.
"Hey, I get plenty of offers!"
"Yeah; I see them chasing you around all the time," Jim laughed.
Andrew glanced at Johanna, finally allowing his hands to slide away from her arms. "Are you sure you don't want to trade him in?"
"I'm sure…apparently you're the one who gets traded in if all those women can't handle how good you are," she teased.
"Harsh," Andrew laughed; "Maybe you deserve Jim after all."
"She does," Jim said, his arm slipping around her waist to let her know she was doing fine. "Are you going to give her her gift now or what?"
"Gift?" Johanna asked.
Andrew smiled. "Yes; I brought you something," he said before turning away and finding his daughter who was lingering in the background behind him. "I brought you a niece to spoil; do you have an opening in that department?"
"I'm always happy to have another one," she replied, a soft smile coming to her lips as Andrew pulled Gabby forward.
"This is Gabriella," he told her; "She answers to Gabby; which is funny, because she's a little shy, unlike that nickname implies. Gabby; this is your aunt Johanna; go give her a hug, she'll spoil you for life."
Gabby smiled shyly and stepped forward, allowing Johanna to embrace her. "It's nice to finally meet you, Gabby," she told her. "I've been looking forward to it."
"It's nice to meet you too," the girl replied softly, shyness in her tone.
Johanna released her but managed to catch hold of her hands. "Look how pretty you are," she said, "Even prettier than your pictures."
Gabby smiled, her head ducking. "No, not really."
"Oh but you are, honey" Johanna said; "You're a very pretty girl…and you've got your grandmother's hair color just like Katie does."
"That's a point of pride for her," Andrew remarked; "She likes having the same hair color as Katie."
Gabby blushed, making Johanna smile. "Don't be embarrassed by that, sweetheart; who wouldn't want that beautiful color? I see a lot of Elizabeth in your face; you've got a lot of your grandmother's features."
"Is that good or bad?" Gabby asked.
"It's wonderful," she told her. "Your grandmother was a beautiful woman."
"She was," Jim said with a nod.
Gabby smiled a little. "I wish I had known her."
"I do too," Andrew remarked.
"You might not have gotten to know her," Johanna said; "But I'm sure Elizabeth knows you and she loves you; don't doubt that. Don't doubt that you're beautiful either. I hear you had a birthday not too long ago."
"Yeah," she answered. "Thirteen."
"Thirteen," Johanna repeated; "To be that age again."
"You wouldn't want to be thirteen again," Jim stated.
"Why not?"
"Because you didn't know the Beckett brothers then," Andrew quipped.
She laughed. "That's true…that's probably how I managed to stay out of trouble."
Andrew grinned. "Yeah…we would've led you astray, wouldn't we, Jim?"
Jim nodded. "Oh yeah; we would've given our best effort."
"We would've succeeded," his brother said confidently.
"Don't hang out with any boys like your father, Gabby," Johanna said lightly, giving her a wink to let her know she was just teasing.
"I won't," she laughed.
"We've agreed on not hanging around any boys," Andrew stated.
"Is that true?" Johanna asked as she guided Gabby to the sofa with her so they could sit down.
"That's what he said; I didn't agree to anything," Gabriella replied.
"Smart girl," she said as Jim settled down beside her and Andrew took a seat in the chair.
"I don't really think they like me as more than a friend though," she admitted shyly.
Johanna smiled. "Oh they will, trust me…that's how I ended up married."
"Don't tell her that!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Why not?" she asked; "It's the truth…besides, friendship first makes a good foundation for a relationship."
"She doesn't need a relationship!"
"No one told her to get a relationship," Johanna replied; "I just told her that one day they'll be more interested which is the truth."
"Andrew doesn't want to think about that," Jim quipped lightly.
"Like you wanted to think about it with your daughter," his brother responded.
"Of course not and you found it terribly amusing…now the shoe is on the other foot and I get to spend the next several years laughing at you, little brother."
"You keep that up and you won't be my favorite brother anymore."
Jim scoffed. "Oh like Michael is going to be your favorite; I'm really worried."
"Men," Johanna said with a smile as she met her niece's eye.
"Yeah," Gabby said with a nod. "My Dad doesn't want me to hang around boys but he doesn't listen when I tell him not to go out with an airhead."
"Beautiful and smart," Johanna stated, giving her a small hug. "Andrew, are you still dating airheads?"
He shrugged. "Once in awhile."
"Why?"
"Sometimes they're cute," he said with a grin.
Johanna rolled her eyes as she looked to her husband. "You need to do something about him."
"Sweetheart; the only thing left is sending him to obedience school and he'd probably get kicked out the first day," Jim said, amusement in his tone.
"Probably true," Andrew confirmed.
Johanna shook her head. "We're going to have to work on your standards; I thought being a father would inspire you to raise them."
"I'll try to do better just for you," he teased.
"Do better for yourself; you deserve someone nice and who has a brain."
"I think Jim got the last one in that department," Andrew said with a laugh.
"That's not true; you just need to look in better places," she told him.
Andrew grinned. "It's good to see that you haven't changed, Jo."
Her nerves returned. "Sorry, I didn't mean to lecture you. You didn't come over for that."
He regarded her for a moment. "I might have to take that statement back; my sister-in-law wouldn't apologize for lecturing me on my questionable taste in women."
Johanna twisted her rings. "Yeah; well, your sister-in-law does a lot of apologizing for a lot of things these days…from big huge things down to little things."
"Well then we'll sign you up for a class with me," Andrew declared; "Because you just need to stop doing that."
"I don't know about that; I have a lot of apologies to make."
"I'd say you've already made the ones that matter," he remarked; "Everyone knows that what happened wasn't something you planned or wanted; all that matters is that you're here now and that's over and done with. Anyone who makes you keep apologizing for something that wasn't your fault isn't someone you want around. I don't need any apologies; I understand what happened and I explained it to my daughter and she understands too; so don't worry about that. I don't want you apologizing for being yourself either…I like when my sister-in-law lectures me…makes me feel special," he said with a smile; "So just be yourself, like you were doing, okay?"
"Okay," she murmured.
"Good…because I almost fell over from shock when Jim told me you were nervous about seeing me," Andrew proclaimed. "I mean how can you be nervous about seeing the best brother-in-law you've ever had?"
"You think so highly of yourself," she laughed.
"Someone has to," Andrew replied lightly; "But you know, just relax…everyone in this room loves you; everything is fine…we just haven't seen each other in awhile, that's all; nothing more, nothing less."
Jim caught her eye. "See, I told you that you didn't have to worry."
"I always do," she murmured.
He gave her a smile and then took the reins of the conversation, giving her time to settle back in as he asked Andrew about work and ballgames and drew Gabby into the conversation as well until Johanna quelled the nerves that had sprung up and engaged her niece, asking about school and her friends, things she liked to do; and finally she felt calm, more like herself and her niece seemed to be warming up to her so that made her feel good too.
"Gabby, did you get a dress for your dance?" Jim asked; breaking into the conversation of the women in the room.
"No," she replied. "I guess I'm not going to go."
"Why not?" Johanna asked.
Frustration flicked across the young girl's face. "Because Dad won't let me get anything I like."
Jim glanced at his brother. "Why didn't you let her get what she wants?"
"Because I don't think most of them were appropriate," Andrew replied.
Gabby rolled her eyes. "They were in the department for my age!"
"I don't care," Andrew retorted. "Another thing, they want around a hundred bucks for a dress she's going to wear for four hours and then hang in the closet and never wear again."
"You're not hurting for money, Andrew," Jim remarked. "Just last year you paid two hundred dollars for a pair of sneakers that I rarely see you wear because you have to 'keep them in mint condition' as you say. Since when did you become a tightwad? Buy your daughter a dress."
"I would if I felt it was worth the price and appropriate."
"They weren't inappropriate!" Gabby exclaimed.
"I feel they were," her father stated. "The skirts weren't long enough and the straps too thin."
"Those dresses came down to my knee!"
"They should be below it!"
"That's the style! This isn't the 1940s anymore, Dad!"
"See, that mouth is why you didn't get a dress. I don't know what's gotten into you, but I don't like it, Gabriella."
Jim laughed. "Oh God I'm glad I'm not the father of a teenager anymore."
"Maybe she has valid points," Johanna stated. "You can't put her in a floor length gown for a middle school dance, Andrew."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because that's not what thirteen year old girls wear."
"Those dresses are the same kind my friends wear," Gabby stated.
"Well then you should strive to be an individual and be different from other girls."
"I'm already different," she cried. "You make me different."
"I do not! You're the one who is suddenly trying to be different. I don't know why you suddenly want to go to a dance; you never wanted to go before."
"I want to go because my friends go and they always have fun and I don't," she said, tears clogging her voice. "I wanted to be like everyone else and dress up and go to a dance and see what it's like…but you won't let me have a dress…you never want me to have cute clothes; all I ever get is jeans and t-shirts, I never get anything really pretty and I never will and I'll never get to go to a dance because I'm never going shopping with you again. You embarrassed me and everyone was looking."
Andrew shook his head as he met his brother's eye. "I did not embarrass her and it'll suit me just fine if we never shop again."
"You don't know anything about being a girl," Gabby said, her tears breaking free.
Johanna gathered her niece into her arms. "Don't cry, honey; we'll get you a dress. You're going to go to your dance."
"No, I won't," she sniffled; "He just wants to dress me like a little girl so I'll be a freak."
"No," Johanna soothed; "We won't let that happen. He's just being a typical father who doesn't understand teenage girls."
"She's barely thirteen," Andrew stated.
Jim scoffed. "I hate to tell you this, but thirteen means teenager…it even has teen in the word; sound it out like Mom taught you," he said, his tone light, enjoying his brother's strife. "You want me to help you sound it out?"
Gabby laughed softly against Johanna's shoulder. "See," she told the girl. "Uncle Jim's been through it so he knows your father is being unreasonable. You'll get your dress. I'll help you find one."
"Really?" Gabby asked, pulling back to look at her with hopeful eyes.
"Yes," she said as she wiped away the tears on the girl's cheeks. "When is your dance, sweetheart?"
"Friday night…I'm running out of time."
Johanna breathed deeply. "Then we'll go tomorrow."
"Are you ready for another shopping trip, Jo?" Jim asked.
She thought she could be if Jim was there too…if there was a slight stipulation to the plan. "I think so…but since Andrew is suddenly so concerned about money, I say that we go to New Jersey; prices are a little cheaper there. Can't we all go tomorrow after Gabby gets out of school?"
"Drive to Jersey at that time of day?" Andrew asked.
"See, he doesn't want me to have anything," Gabby stated. "He doesn't want me to go to the dance."
"Andrew, is that true?" Johanna asked.
Her brother-in-law shrugged. "Kind of…"
"Why?" she and Jim both asked at the same time.
"Because that's how it starts!" he exclaimed.
"How what starts?"
"The teenage thing!" he stated, throwing his hands up in the air.
"It's already started," Jim told him; "You can't stop it just by denying her a dress and the school dance. There are things that come with this territory that you can't control."
"I know, I already bought her a bra!"
"Dad!" Gabby exclaimed.
"Oh my God," Johanna stated. "Jim; you need to start his training as a father of a teenage girl."
"Yeah; that's becoming clear," he stated. "I'm game for New Jersey though if you want to go help her pick a dress."
"I think someone has to," she replied; "Look what he's done to her."
"He's not going to like anything we pick," Gabby said as she met Johanna's gaze.
"Well, if he doesn't like the best dress that we find; then I'll just buy it for you," she told her. "I owe you a birthday gift."
"You can't buy her a fancy dress for a birthday gift," Andrew exclaimed.
"I'm the aunt, I can do what the hell I want," Johanna retorted.
"The father wouldn't feel right," Andrew replied.
"Then the father better not be an ass tomorrow when we all go to New Jersey," she told him. "You do trust my judgment, don't you? I have been the mother of a teenage girl. I've bought many dresses for dances; you trust me to know what's age appropriate, right?"
Her brother-in-law sighed. "I guess so."
"If it was a dress she wouldn't let Katie have, she won't approve it for Gabby," Jim stated. "You're going to have to get used to this, Andrew. She's growing up, she's going to want to go to dances and wear dresses."
"Alright, alright; we'll go to Jersey tomorrow for more dress shopping."
Johanna smiled at Gabby. "Don't worry; you'll have a dress tomorrow…and Uncle Jim will help keep your father in line."
"Will you?" Gabby asked as she glanced at her uncle.
"Of course I will," Jim smiled. "Johanna will make sure you get what you need and what you like, don't you worry."
"Yes, a pretty dress," Johanna said; "And you'll need shoes and a little purse to carry your phone and money."
"Oh my God," Andrew muttered; "How much is a school dance going to cost me?"
"Don't plan on retiring anytime soon," Jim told him; "If you think eighth grade is bad; wait until she hits high school."
"I'm going to have nightmares," his brother replied.
"Yeah; that starts now and doesn't stop," Jim teased. "I still shudder at times and my daughter is in her thirties."
"I shudder a little myself," Johanna remarked.
"What's Katie up to these days?" Andrew asked.
"Work, and her new hobby of tormenting her mother," Jim answered.
"Kids," Andrew said with a shake of his head. "No one warned us."
Johanna gave Gabby's shoulder a soft squeeze as the men took over the conversation; hopefully this shopping trip would go better than her last one.
That night, Johanna walked into the kitchen to get a glass of ice water to take upstairs with her and she heard her phone ringing on the counter where she had abandoned it hours before. She sighed as she moved toward it, glimpsing her daughter's picture on the screen. She was tempted to ignore it, not really wanting another round of this battle…but she figured if she did, her bullheaded daughter would call all night or come over to have it out in person. That wouldn't make for a peaceful night when she was settling down to go to bed.
"Hello," she said as she answered the call.
"Where have you been? I've called you like six times!" Kate exclaimed.
"I've been right here in my house," Johanna replied as she opened a cabinet door and took out a glass.
"So why didn't you answer the phone?"
"Well; for one, my husband told me not to. Two, I figured I already know how the conversation is going to go; and three, we had company and I didn't want to be rude by being on the phone arguing with my daughter instead of being a proper hostess."
Kate scoffed. "What company?"
"Wow; aren't we demanding tonight."
"Mom, don't."
"Don't what? You're the one questioning me like a suspect, Detective."
"Don't call me that!"
"I gave birth to you; I'll call you what I want," Johanna replied.
"Mother."
Johanna's nose wrinkled in response. "If you must know, Andrew and Gabby came to visit."
"How did that go?"
"Very well; much better than my last visit with my daughter."
"I said I was sorry," Kate replied. "You had no business being rude to Martha tonight."
"I wasn't rude to Martha. I was very civil when the call started. When she started harping on my dress, I got annoyed and may have used stern words but that's her fault for not taking a hint when I tried to subtly end the discussion while using my nice voice."
"Your nice voice?" Kate said; "By that do you mean your actual nice voice or your fake, slightly sarcastic nice voice."
"No, baby; I save my nice sarcastic voice for you; I gave Martha my real nice voice."
"She's only trying to help you!"
Johanna sighed deeply. "Okay; number one, I don't need her help. Number two, she's not helping me; she's helping you by jumping on your bandwagon and doing your bidding. If you don't like what gets said to her, don't put her in the middle of our business."
"She called you because we both agree that red sends a certain message that I don't think you should send right now. I can't seem to get through to you so I thought maybe Martha could since she's from your generation."
"Martha's three years older than me; thank you very much."
"So what! It's still the same generation!"
"Yeah; but she got there before I did."
"Whatever," Kate replied; "The point remains the same. She's just trying to help you."
"That would be very nice if I needed help, but I don't. This seems to be a thing you and Martha conjured up between you…and I have to say, Katie; I really wish you wouldn't keep deciding things about me with her."
"We didn't decide anything."
"Oh but you have; let's see, you two decided that I shouldn't know about the media tip off. You two, with Rick, decided that I should go to a party I have no business being at for your second little photo op. Three, you and Martha have also decided that I no longer know how to dress myself. Well guess what; I'm still more than capable of dressing myself. I can also get myself out of the clothes at the end of the night…and if I can't because a zipper gets stuck, I have a man upstairs who is more than happy to offer assistance. I'm good; go find another project."
"We didn't say you can't dress yourself; and believe me, I know you have a volunteer for any wardrobe help you need…after all, he even likes doing laundry with you…"
"Shut up," Johanna said, her cheeks warming, knowing that Kate was referring to a certain incident that she had almost walked in on while she had been staying at her apartment.
"That took a little air out of your sails, didn't it?"
"You know, instead of carrying this banner, you could go play with your boyfriend…he might surprise you and like to sort laundry. Go find out."
"Don't change the subject."
"You're the one who brought up laundry."
"Only because you brought up that you have a wardrobe removal assistant."
"He's not my assistant; he's my partner…we're equal opportunity around here."
Kate sighed. "You make me want to scream."
"Now you know how I felt when you were sixteen."
Kate blew out a breath. "Okay, look…we just feel that you should rethink your choice of dress. I know you love red. I also know you picked it because you were pissed off at me…and okay, justifiably so…but still; you bought it because you were mad."
"No; I bought it because you told me that I was going to this party because I owed you…so I asked you what color you wanted me to get; you said I could have what I wanted. I tried on many dresses; I liked the red one best and I bought it."
"I told you at the store to find a different color."
"Yes; but you had already given me carte blanche and so…sorry for you," Johanna remarked.
Her daughter sighed. "We're only thinking of your best interests."
"No; I'm pretty sure it's yours….I'm completely unconcerned about my dress being red."
"We just think you need a soft, motherly look for this."
"Oh, am I a mother? I'm surprised you noticed considering how you make so many decisions and agree so much with Martha like she's your mother while you treat me like your disobedient foster child."
"Wow, really?" Kate responded. "You really went there?"
"Yeah; I went there…and I hate to inform you of this but I don't pick my dress based on my status as a mother. I pick a dress that flatters my figure, skin tone, hair color and makes me feel confident and attractive."
"I realize that…but, Mom; this is different. Can't you get a color that's going to attract less attention?"
"Why? You want me to be seen, not blend into the background."
"Yes; I want you to be seen but I also don't want you looking like you're a defiant enemy who's thumbing her nose at the world."
"Katie; you're really over thinking the color of a dress."
"No; I'm not!"
"Yes; you are! Go focus on something else…like making me a grandmother so I have someone to babysit."
"You're going to pull the give me grandchildren card now just so you don't have to listen to reason?"
"You're not getting any younger, Katie; you need to get those babies into production…I'm still young enough to chase toddlers; let's get the show on the road."
"Okay; you're just being mean tonight so I'm going to hang up."
Johanna smiled. "I knew you would; goodnight. Don't call back, I'm going to bed."
"What if I call back anyway?"
"I won't answer…I might even turn my phone off…so, just don't. You're not going to win this one, Katie; this is one of those 'know when to fold them' moments…throw your cards down and walk away."
"I don't know why you won't listen to any of us…we're just trying to help you."
"No, you're not! You're just annoying me and trying to make me do what all of you think I should. You don't care what I think; all you care is what Rick and Martha think about our situation with the press and what I want to know is, when the hell did they become experts? Why are you acting like their word is the holy grail? Get your head back into some airspace of your own and think a little bit, Katie. The tip off with the shopping trip, this appearance of both of us at this book party so quickly on the heels of your statement just screams to the world that you're staging it…that's what people are going to notice; not the color of my dress; but the timing, just like they brought it up over the weekend after we went shopping. You need to think more about timing and less about dress colors. They know you're dragging me out into public with you now because you have something to prove…you should've waited a little while so it would look more natural."
"I know what I'm doing," Kate said sharply.
"Honey; I don't think you do and this is going to blow up in our faces. And another thing; if we have to go to this party together, I think it would look better for us to show up on our own and not in the same car with Rick and his family…that's going to put new scrutiny on your relationship."
"Being with two mothers and a teenage girl doesn't scream date night."
"No, it looks like you're trying not to make it look like a date…my dress color is the least of your worries."
Kate sighed. "Please just rethink the dress."
Johanna rolled her eyes. "Goodnight, Katie," she said before disconnecting the call.
"Turn it off now," Jim said from the doorway where he had been leaning unnoticed for the majority of the conversation.
She flinched a little at the sound of his voice before turning to face him. "How long have you been lurking?"
"Long enough to know that you launched a good defense. You also made a good, logical closing argument about the timing of her apparent press tour with staged photo ops; you made valid points about the spotlight that could be put on her relationship by choosing to arrive with Rick and his family…that all of you coming together can look a bit like a cover up for a date…I'd say you gave her a lot to think about…things she should be thinking more about instead of the color of your dress," he remarked.
Johanna shook her head. "She's not going to think about it…she's too sure that they're all right and I'm wrong and I'm going to sink it with a red dress. Anything I say goes in one ear and out the other because I'm just her mother and I'm automatically wrong in her world and her little surrogate family backs her up with the thought. Katie looks at me and sees a stupid person."
"That's not true," Jim said quietly.
"Yes, it is," she said with a bitter laugh. "I'm stupid in her opinion. I made a mistake…a colossal mistake that cost me a little over a decade of my life, and it's marked me as being stupid by my daughter and other people of the world. They figure if I had really been smart, I wouldn't have answered that letter, or I wouldn't have looked into that case, or I would've gotten out the second I realized there were dirty cops involved. They think that if I had been smart, I would've found some small way to defy the orders of the FBI and let everyone know what was going on, or found a way out of it long before I did. Fear and panic aren't allowed as viable excuses for being docile to a federal agency. It all comes down to stupidity. My daughter sees stupidity."
"Jo…she doesn't think that."
"She does," she said with a nod. "It doesn't matter at all that I've managed to make it to sixty without someone telling me what to do every step of the way."
"Sixty-one," he stated.
Johanna cut him a sharp look. "What did I tell you about the one?"
He smiled. "That we don't acknowledge it."
"And yet you acknowledged it."
"My apologies," he laughed, his eyes gleaming with amusement.
She smiled; giving a soft shake of her head as she raked her fingers through her hair. She knew him, he threw out her correct age because he knew she'd call him on it and it would allow him to lighten the oppressive air that had filled the room. She loved him for those moments…but her thoughts and feelings were still at the forefront of her mind and she had no choice but to let them free.
"She does think I'm stupid…I think a lot of people do; and it wouldn't matter if our daughter wasn't one of them," she said softly. "One mistake wipes out everything…it wipes away the fact that I have two degrees from Columbia, graduated in the top of my class and was hired by a prestigious law firm right after graduation. It wipes away the fact that I was apparently considered intelligent enough and good enough at my job that I was asked to teach law many times. I had a good, stable, law career for twenty-five years…and new laws and new technologies and new hurdles didn't get in my way; I didn't struggle to keep up. I helped raise my child, had a stable marriage and my household was managed and ran smoothly with no outside help. I was successful and I didn't get there by being stupid…but one mistake takes it all away."
"It doesn't," Jim replied as he moved closer. "It doesn't change anything."
Johanna worried her bottom lip as she held his gaze in the dim light of the kitchen. "It does."
He shook his head. "My wife isn't stupid…when she was in labor, she cussed me in English and Italian…stupid people can't do that."
Johanna gave a soft laugh, her fingertips skimming against his chin affectionately. "Some might disagree."
"They don't matter," he said as she captured her fingers and pressed a kiss to them. "My wife has always been an intelligent person…something terrible came into her life and hurt her; but it doesn't change who she is…her brain is still fully functioning and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise."
"Like you fought Stanley?" she asked.
Jim grinned. "Yes; for you, I'll punch all the Stanleys of the world…except for Katie…you're going to have to kick her ass on your own but I have every confidence that you could get the job done."
"Sometimes that's tempting," Johanna murmured. "All I hear is 'don't do that; don't do this, don't say that, don't think that, don't feel that, don't buy that car, don't drive, no drive, don't wear that, don't go there, you owe me, take this picture, go to this party, smile, pose, just do it."
Jim chose his words carefully. "I think I might be guilty of some of those sayings."
She nodded. "Yeah; but that's different…you're my husband."
"Yeah, I'm your husband…but I don't want you to feel like I order you around."
"I don't…it's Katie…and now she's got Martha calling here harping at me; I turn on the news or pick up a newspaper and there's people saying 'I need to make statements' 'I need to give interviews'…making fun of me for not going out much and for wearing sunglasses all the time…and it's like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't…and it's like Katie is right there agreeing with all of it…like she doesn't know me at all."
"I think it's going to take some time for her to get her head straight."
"I thought we had worked that out while I was staying with her…I thought, she remembered that she knew me. She still treats me like a suspect sometimes; sometimes it's like I'm in an interrogation; 'where were you; why didn't you answer the phone, what were you doing, who was your company, who were you talking to, what did you do."
"It's just going to take time, Jo," he said as he pulled her into his arms.
Frustration bubbled up within her. "I thought I already put in the time. I took everything she threw at me, I deserved it and I took it. I allowed her to keep me at a distance, I tried not to push too much, to let her come to me when she was ready to be more open…and we got there; and now it's like some days we're fine and the rest I'm back to square one because now she doesn't have to deal with me unless she feels it's necessary. This thing with the press…she feels it's necessary…that I owe her my cooperation with it…"
"You don't…anything you owed has already been paid in full, Johanna. You don't have to go to this party just because she knows what button to push to guarantee automatic obedience. She knows you feel guilty, she knows it eats at you and she used it against you by hanging a debt over your head so you'd agree to go…but you don't have to do it. You don't have to let her order you around, she doesn't own you, no one does."
Johanna conjured up a small smile for him. "You do…with my permission."
He kissed her softly. "That's mutual…but in regard to Katie; one of these days you're going to have to let go of being afraid of angering her…you're going to have come out swinging and remind her of who exactly you are since it seems like it's slipping her mind. You can't let her make all the rules…you have to get some control back, sweetheart."
"I just want it all to go away," she breathed as she buried herself in his arms.
"I know; and I wish I could make it all go away for you," he replied as he held her tightly. "You don't have to go to that party…especially if the color of your dress is going to cause Katie to be crazed. Just tell her you're not going."
"Yeah; she'll be real accepting of that news."
"Well…if you wake up in the middle of the night, send her a text saying you're not going. She probably won't get it until morning and you can avoid her calls."
"She'll come over on her lunch break if I don't answer."
"Well maybe your husband will whisk you away during lunch hours," he whispered, his tone light.
"I like the sound of that."
"Good; we'll see what I can arrange."
She smiled up at him. "I married a very smart man."
"Yes, you did," he replied with a nod; "And you forgot to mention that not only do you have two degrees, two languages and basically, two careers; you're also a very cute former cheerleader who has excellent taste in husbands."
Johanna laughed. "You have pretty good taste in wives."
"I know," he teased; "I married a cheerleader who has on occasion let me talk her into very un-lady like things."
"You married a lawyer who was taken in by your charm during weak moments," she told him.
"A lawyer who I had the privilege of seeing in a cheerleading outfit."
"That's been a lasting memory for you, hasn't it?"
He nodded. "One of my favorites…even if you didn't let me get anywhere that day."
Johanna laughed. "I kissed you to round out your high school fantasy…because let's not forget, the bet I lost just said I had to model; it didn't say anything else."
"Such a stickler for fine print," he chuckled. "Come on, finish getting your drink and let's go upstairs."
She nodded, turning back to the counter and grabbing the glass she had abandoned. She filled it with ice water and slipped her phone into the pocket of her robe and then followed her husband out of the room.
"Put all of this book party nonsense out of your mind for the night," Jim said as they climbed the stairs. "Tomorrow we'll get away for a few hours and you can help Gabby get what she needs for her dance. I think that's a trip you'll enjoy more than your last one."
"I'm sure of it; you'll be there," she replied as she slipped her hand into his, resolving to put away her worries and frustrations for the rest of the night.
Johanna had just finished putting a batch of freshly baked brownies in a container the next morning when her phone rang. She sighed; figuring it was another call from Katie that she would decline. She had taken Jim's advice and had texted her daughter in the early hours of the morning when a noise had woke her. She had told her that she was rethinking the idea of going to the book release party and that they'd discuss it later in the week. She had missed Kate's first call while she had been cooking breakfast and she hadn't bothered to return the call…nor would she accept this one, she thought as she moved to the table and grabbed her phone.
Instead of seeing her daughter's face on the screen, Johanna saw her husband's picture instead. Her stomach tightened; it was only 9:30; he never called from work this early. He had sent his usual 'arrived safely' text at 8:23 that morning and she hadn't expected to hear from him again until closer to lunch time. Something must be wrong, she thought as she hurriedly accepted the call. "Hello?" she said, worry coloring her tone.
"Hey, sweetheart," Jim replied. "How would you like to run away with me?"
"What's wrong?" Johanna asked.
"Nothing's wrong; I meant run away for the fun of it. I thought you might like to go to New Jersey."
Puzzlement furrowed her brow. "Aren't we going there later today with Andrew and Gabby?"
"That was the plan," he answered; "But I have to pick up some files for a case in Jersey City. I figured you could go with me and we could make a day of it."
"What about work?" she asked; "Don't you have to go back to the office?"
"No; the meetings that were going to be held today got pushed to Friday; so I'm not needed here anymore today and I'll work from home tomorrow since all I have to do is work on those files I'm picking up. I figure I can leave a message for Andrew, telling him to meet us there after he gets Gabby from school. So what do you say, sweetheart? Do you want to run away with me?"
A smile broke across her lips. "I'd love to."
"That's my girl," he said warmly. "I should be there in about twenty minutes; so go get ready."
"I just have to change clothes; I can put my makeup on in the car," she told him as quickly exited the kitchen and headed for the stairs. "I'll be ready when you get here."
"Alright; I'll see you soon."
"I'm looking forward to it," she said with a smile as she ended the call and hurried up the stairs. She knew he had said that he'd see what he could do about whisking her away from home for lunch; but a day trip was an unexpected surprise; not mention, a very welcome one…she was ready to escape the city for a few hours and have the peace of anonymity again…and very happy with the thought of running away with her husband.
Johanna was feeling relaxed later that morning as she and Jim strolled through a park by the river that afforded them a nice view of their home city across the water. "You know, from here, it looks crowded," she remarked as they paused to take in the sight.
"Well; I guess in reality, it is a bit crowded," Jim replied; "It just doesn't seem like it to us because we were born and raised there."
"True, navigating the city is second nature to us. It doesn't seem so crowded on the inside when you're used to all those people…unless you're at Macy's during the Christmas season, then it feels like humanity is pressed against you."
Jim laughed. "Or stuck in traffic during rush hour."
"That too," she agreed with a laugh of her own before she turned pensive as she studied the view of her city.
"What are you thinking about?" her husband asked after she had been quiet for several minutes.
Johanna gave a shake of her head, not wanting to spoil the mood with her bad memories. Sometimes they snuck up on her, escaping the box she tried to keep them in with demands to be set free; to be spoken of for the sake of unloading them and clearing them from her mind for awhile.
His hand brushed against her back. "What is it?"
"I…it's…" she stammered, her tongue tying as she tried to find a way to voice her thoughts without inflicting pain.
"What?"
"I…I just could never get used to how open Wyoming was," she murmured. "It just seemed like there was all this space and it was strange to me. I couldn't stand it. It was too quiet and too open…too slow moving. Places like that are okay for a vacation but not for every day life when you're used to city life. It's hard to get used to…in New York, you feel like the pulse of the world is there…and out there in all that quiet…so far removed, it adds to the feeling of being lost. I missed the city, the energy, the movement. It's part of me…and in Wyoming, every part of me was gone…my name, my family, my friends, my job…my city…"
"It's not gone anymore," Jim replied. "You don't need to think about those things anymore."
Johanna breathed deeply; 'don't think about it'…someone was always telling her what to think or not think about; what to feel or not feel. She really didn't have any right to be upset that her husband would tell her not to think about it. If she thought about it, she'd want to talk about it…and he didn't want to hear her talk about it. She didn't blame him; why would he want to hear about it? It would just remind him of his own pain. Wyoming was hers to keep to herself no matter how badly it wanted out at times. She had inflicted enough pain…she shouldn't keep doing it just because the words needed out sometimes.
"Hey," Jim said somewhat firmly as he took her hand. "Don't go dark on me…I brought you hear so you could relax; not so you could sink under dark clouds again."
"I'm not," she replied, bristling slightly at his tone.
"You are; I see it moving over your face; you're sinking into it because some stray thought came to mind. You're home…you don't need to keep drowning yourself."
"I'm not; I can't help it that I thought of it."
He sighed. "I brought you here to have a nice time; not so you could dwell on the past. I don't want every trip we take to be marred with you thinking up bad memories."
Johanna jerked her hand away from his. "I'm not trying to ruin it! I'm sorry I had a thought that you didn't approve. I wasn't going to tell you but you pushed so I did, I'm sorry, okay!? I won't let it happen again."
God, he was no better than Katie, Jim thought to himself as he glanced at his wife and saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. "Don't cry," he demanded. "Please; just…don't."
"I wasn't going to," she retorted as she blinked.
He breathed deeply as she turned away from him and started to walk away. "Where are you going?" he asked.
"You can see the Statue of Liberty from one area of this park; that's where I'm going. I want to see the Statue of Liberty," Johanna answered as she kept walking at a clipped pace.
Jim hurried after her. "Wait for me."
Johanna said nothing, just kept walking until he caught up with her, his hand catching hold of her arm. "Slow down," he said; "Do we have to run to get there?"
She slowed her pace but said nothing in response as he kept hold of her arm. "I didn't know you wanted to see the Statue of Liberty," Jim stated; "We could've gone that way first. Any special reason you want to see it?"
"I like it."
Jim nodded. "Okay…any other reason?"
"I want to."
"I gathered that…anything else?"
Johanna glanced at him. "It's been awhile; and no, there's no bad memories or thoughts attached to that assessment; just a factual statement based on recall that I haven't been near it since Katie was in middle school and asked me to take her and her friend because the girl was new here and her parents too busy to take her sightseeing. It was a perfectly fine trip, no bad memories."
Jim stayed quiet; he didn't want to make any hasty retorts when he had already upset the apple cart by reacting badly to her expressing a thought that had made him uncomfortable; made him remember his own pain and made him ache with the thought of hers. He shouldn't have been harsh with her though; shouldn't have thrown out the remark that she was marring their trip and would possibly mar future ones. He was just as bad as Katie; telling her what to think and what to feel…what to do. She didn't mar their day; he did…and now he'd have to try and turn it around somehow.
"Are you cold?" he asked as they continued walking. "The weather doesn't feel too bad today; but I know you get cold even in mild weather."
"I'm fine," Johanna replied.
Jim allowed his hand to slide down her arm, retaking her hand; hoping she wouldn't reject the gesture. He allowed himself to breathe again when she didn't pull away, silence still between them. He let it linger, even as they reached the spot where the Statue of Liberty could be seen. A small hint of a smile tugged at her lips as she gazed out across the water at it and he couldn't help but squeeze her hand in response.
"I'm sorry, Jo," he murmured.
Johanna gave a soft shake of her head. "It was my fault; I should've kept my thoughts to myself. I'm sorry I ruined our trip…again. Maybe we shouldn't take trips; it seems to have a bad affect on us, unlike in the past."
"No; it's not like that. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. Nothing's ruined…unless we let it be ruined and I don't want that. This one is on me, Jo; I asked what you were thinking and you were honest and told me, just like always. I don't want you to be depressed, I can't deny that; but I could've reacted better to a passing thought and I'm sorry. I know I hurt your feelings, and you know I never feel good about doing that, right?"
She nodded. "Yeah; I know…I'm sorry too. Let's just forget about it, okay?"
Jim wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. "If I agree to that, are you really going to forget about it? Because I just want us to have a nice time and I feel like I already blew it and that it's not going to be easily forgotten."
She took a breath and let it go, along with her feelings about the way he had reacted to her comment. They were still healing, there was going to be little bumps along the way; there was no need to make them bigger than they needed to be. "You didn't blow it," she told him softly. "I just want to know that I didn't blow it…because I'm really good at that."
"No; you didn't blow it. All you did was tell me what you were thinking; I'm the one who made it an issue."
She leaned into him, her arm slipping around him. "Let's just call it mutual and let it go away. I just want to enjoy my day with you; it was an unexpected surprise and I don't want to lose it just because I had a melancholy thought that you didn't take well for obvious reasons. So let's just know that we're both sorry and go back to having a nice time."
"Deal," he replied before catching her lips in a kiss to seal the agreement. "Do you want to go check the schedule and see when the next ferry is? We could take the next one and go over and see the Statue of Liberty close up if you want to?"
Johanna smiled. "I would like that."
"Come on," he said, feeling the unease fade between them. "Let's go check the schedule."
After checking the schedule and getting their tickets, they found a place to sit down while they waited for the ferry. Johanna's phone rang and she sighed. "You don't have to answer it," Jim stated as she reached into her purse.
"I've been ignoring her calls all morning," she said as she glimpsed her daughter's face on the screen. "If I don't answer, she'll keep calling and I'd rather get it over with before we get on the ferry."
"I don't blame you," he replied.
"Hello," Johanna said as she answered.
"Where the hell are you?" Kate asked sharply.
"Excuse me?" Johanna asked, her tone firm.
"Where are you?" her daughter said slowly. "Your car is here, I'm in your kitchen and you're nowhere to be found. Where the hell are you and what are you up to?"
"I don't think I like your tone, Katherine."
"I don't really care; answer my question."
"I'm in New Jersey," Johanna said tartly; "More specifically; I'm in Liberty Park, waiting to take a ferry to the Statue of Liberty."
"You didn't tell me you were going to New Jersey."
"I didn't know I had to."
"How did you get there? Who are you with? Does Dad know you're in New Jersey?"
"I don't know," Johanna replied; "Let me check. Jim, do you know I'm in New Jersey?"
"Yeah; I got the feeling you were here when I drove you across the state line," he said with a laugh.
"Good. Yes, Katie; your father knows I'm in New Jersey…he brought me."
"Why wasn't I told that you were going to New Jersey?!"
"Because we don't have to report every move we make," she retorted.
"When you're leaving the state; I'd like to know about it!"
"Why are you yelling at me?" Johanna asked.
"Why am I yelling at you?" Kate repeated; "Maybe because I called you this morning before work about your little four a.m. text message and you didn't answer. I called you during a short break this morning, you didn't answer. I called you as soon as I went on my lunch break, you didn't answer. I drive over here, your car is in the driveway but you don't answer the door, so I let myself in and you're nowhere to be found. That's why I'm yelling at you. I want to know where you're going; because the last time no one knew where you were, I was told you were dead and I didn't see you again for thirteen years; so you think about that the next time you want to pull this stupid 'I'm not answering the phone' game of yours and then take off out of town without letting anyone know!"
Johanna allowed a few beats of silence to follow her daughter's tirade before she spoke. "I haven't answered the phone because I'm sick of arguing with you over a stupid party dress. I haven't answered the phone because I'm sick of hearing 'we think this would be best, we think that would be best'…and I'm sick of you making decisions about me with other people and thinking they're the only ones who know anything. I didn't answer the phone this morning because I knew you got my message saying that I don't think it's best for me to go to that party and that I'm rethinking my acceptance of your demand…because it sure as hell wasn't an invitation; it was a demand. You weren't informed that I was leaving the state this morning because I didn't know about it until my husband called me a little after nine and said he needed to come to New Jersey to collect some things from a firm here for a case he's working on. He said I could go with him and that he didn't have to get back to the office today; that we could spend some time together here…get away from things for a few hours. I agreed and got ready and was waiting for him when he pulled in. We're now waiting to take the ferry to the Statue of Liberty and after that we're going to get something to eat."
"Are you heading back after that?" Kate asked.
"No; we're not. I'll make sure your father notifies you of our return later today."
"Why don't you notify me?" her daughter asked.
"Because you've already pissed me off," she told her honestly. "I'm sick of having the past slapped in my face every time I do something someone doesn't like. You know I'm not answering your calls because I'm annoyed with you. I didn't call and let you know I was going anywhere because I didn't feel I needed to; I'm with my husband…you don't call and tell me when you're on a date so why should I have to report mine to you?"
"You could do it because of that past history you don't like being reminded of," Kate replied. "How do you think I felt when my calls are going unanswered, your car is here but you're not…how am I supposed to feel?"
"You could've taken a breath and considered that I might be with your father."
"Why can't you just understand how I feel?" her daughter asked sharply.
"I do understand…I also wonder the same thing in regard to you; why can't you just understand how I feel sometimes?"
"Don't change the subject."
"Fine, Katie; I apologize that I caused you worry. The next time I put a foot out my door, I will make sure you're notified. Since you're at home; feel free to make yourself lunch; there's leftover pasta in the fridge and plenty of things for sandwiches. There are some brownies in a container on the counter, have one or two; it'll make you feel better. I have some episodes of Temptation Lane on the dvr if you want something to watch while you eat. Check the mail before you leave; put it on the stand if there's any; make sure the door locks before you go."
"So, we're not going to talk about your text from this morning?"
"Not right now; I'm waiting on a ferry."
"What does that have to do with anything?!"
"I don't want to argue with you on a ferry and ruin my trip."
"It's not that long of a trip, Mom."
"Make a sandwich, sweetheart; you seem hungry…I think it's making you cranky; make sure you get a brownie too."
Kate breathed deeply. "I'm taking the whole damn container."
Johanna was quiet for a moment. "You can take half….I just made them; I haven't even ate one yet."
"I'm definitely taking them all; let that be a lesson to you."
"A lesson for what!?"
"For not being where you're supposed to be!" Kate exclaimed. "Now I'm going to eat your food and leave my dishes in the sink and go back to work and I'm not going to forget about your little message so you better haul yourself back to the city so we can get it over with, because you are going with me Saturday night and that's all there is to it."
"We'll see."
"I guess we will."
"Okay; I'm hanging up now and getting back to my date. Have a nice day, be safe. I love you."
"Bye," Kate said tartly.
Johanna sighed as she put her phone back in her purse. "Our daughter didn't give us her love before hanging up."
"That's because she's too busy stealing our brownies," Jim replied.
She nodded. "I knew I should've waited until tomorrow to bake."
"Yeah…because now you're going to have to do it again because now I want brownies."
She smiled as she leaned close and kissed his cheek. "Just for you I'll make another batch."
He patted her knee affectionately. "She threw some daggers at you."
"Yeah; but I should be used to that."
"I don't think you can ever get used to that from your own kid."
Johanna covered his hand with hers. "Maybe not…but I'm choosing not to allow it to spoil my day. I have to learn to let some of the daggers miss the mark and she has to learn not to panic just because I'm not where she thinks I should be."
"Those are good points."
"It's funny though; she only wants me around when she needs something but she wants to know where I'm at and what I'm doing all the time."
"That's so you can't get away," he replied. "I remember you telling me that when she was a little girl and she'd cling to me when I'd come home from a business trip."
"I remember," she said with a nod; "But on the other hand; the one time I did call and notify her that I was leaving the house, she got pissed off."
"That's true; she did…and she tattled on you for a whole two days."
"Yes; and it further complicated issues we were already having."
"We got through it," Jim stated, his hand squeezing her knee.
"I know; but still, she gets mad when I don't notify her; and she got mad the time I did…how am I supposed to figure that out?"
"I don't know," her husband replied; "When she's in those kind of moods, I just chalk it up to the same thing I always chalked yours up to be."
"And what was that?"
"Period," he answered.
Her brow rose as she regarded him with amusement. "Just out of curiosity, what do you chalk mine up to now that I don't have a period?"
"Hormonal imbalance," he replied; "I figure just because the main event is over doesn't mean the side shows stop."
"Side shows?" his wife repeated.
He smiled sheepishly. "Don't push me off the ferry."
Johanna burst into laughter and he couldn't help but allow a broad smile to cross his lips; allowing the sound to saturate his soul. It always felt like a victory when he could make her laugh like that; she had so little to find amusement in lately…and she had always tried to do her best to contain her laugh, to keep it from being too loud, from drawing attention to herself…to appear ladylike at all times. But sometimes he won…sometimes he could send her into giggles and there was no controlling that pure, unrestrained laugh that he adored.
"I won't push you off the ferry," she said lightly, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
"Why not?" he couldn't help but ask.
"Because I put a lot of work into you, I don't want to have to start over," she teased.
He laughed as he wrapped his arm around her. "I can't say that I blame you; you have made quite an investment…and I've made a great effort at spoiling you from day one so no other man could compete with me; so you better just keep me."
"Oh I plan on it," Johanna replied. "I'm not letting you get away."
"I'm not letting you go either," he said, pressing a kiss against her head as he hugged her close. "Looks like the ferry is on its way back; we better move on down there so we can be ready to board."
She pressed a quick kiss to his lips and gave him a smile as she slipped her hand in his. "I'm glad we got to have this unexpected little trip today."
"Me too; and the day is still young, sweetheart. I'm sure we still have plenty to do."
"I can't wait," she answered; her fingers squeezing his as a smile remained on her lips.
"What are you trying to do?" Jim asked as he watched Johanna angling her phone in different directions after their tour of the Statue of Liberty.
"I'm trying to get a good picture of the Statue of Liberty," she replied.
"Well you better pick an angle soon; we'll have to get the ferry back soon."
"I know; I'm just trying to get as much as possible in the picture without being too far away."
"Let me try," he said as he took the phone from her hand. He chose what he felt was a good angle and clicked two pictures for her. "How are these?"
"Those are good; that's what I was looking for. I want to send one to…" she trailed off, the smile fading from her lips as she reconsidered what she was about to say.
"Send one to who?" Jim asked.
Johanna gave a shake of her head. "No one, I don't know why I said that. We better get ready to go."
He gently grasped her arm as she started to turn away. "Jo; who were you going to send the picture to? Don't tell me no one…don't keep things from me."
She breathed deeply; the last thing she wanted was for him to think she was keeping secrets and talking to someone he didn't know about. "Carolyn," she answered softly. "She's always wanted to see it…pictures aren't the same but I thought she might like it anyway."
Confusion wrinkled his brow; why wouldn't she want to tell him that she was sending a picture to her friend? "There's nothing wrong with that…why didn't you just say you were sending it to her when you started to in the first place?"
A hint of shame burned her cheeks as she shrugged. "Because…that's Wyoming," she said quietly. "I don't…I mean…we don't…I just…"
"Pick one, Jo; you're gearing up to ramble."
She swallowed hard. "I didn't want to say Carolyn because I didn't want you to think I miss Wyoming in any way…I also didn't want to bring it up because we don't talk about stuff from there because it's uncomfortable and bad memories and I just…didn't want to chance spoiling things when I already had one close call of that today."
Jim draped his arm around her shoulders as they slowly began the trek to the boarding place for the ferry. He supposed he couldn't blame her for not wanting to mention Wyoming; he did seem to react badly at times when she'd mention her life there…and he figured that he had made it subtly clear at times that he didn't want to hear about those years and how she had spent her time. That wasn't really fair though; trying to make her keep a portion of her life sealed off and kept silent like a dirty little secret. "Listen," he said gently; "I know you don't miss Wyoming; I know you hated it there and it was just as bad there for you as things were here for me."
"I'm sorry that I've brought it up twice today though; that's not what you had in mind when you asked me to run away with you."
"You've always told me what's on your mind, Jo. You've always let me in to the deepest reaches of your mind and soul…I don't want you to stop doing that just because it might be a little uncomfortable at times. I know you don't miss that place; but it doesn't mean you can't miss your friend. She was all you had for a long time and it's only natural for you to think of her and miss her…and you don't have to be afraid to mention her to me. I know you still talk to her and I'm glad you do. It doesn't bother me that you have a friend out there."
"I just…I don't always know if it's okay to mention her or not," Johanna admitted. "I know you don't like for me to talk about Wyoming and that you don't want me to think about that place because it depresses me; so I try not to mention her too much."
"Sweetheart; I don't want you to feel that way. You can talk about your friend to me like you always have; like I talk about my friends to you. I met Carolyn when I was in Wyoming with you. She's a nice person; I'm glad she's making the effort to stay in your life and I'm glad you didn't cut her out of yours. It's fine, okay?"
She nodded, managing a small smile for him. "I just try not to make you uncomfortable when I can stop the words from coming out of my mouth…which isn't often, but I try."
"I'm fine," he told her. "Nothing's been upset by mentioning your friend…maybe you should call her sometimes instead of just trading emails and texts. She'd probably like to hear your voice once in awhile. I think maybe you shy away from that because you can't call when I'm at work because she's at work and you don't call in the evening because you're afraid I'll be bothered that you're talking to someone who lives in Wyoming."
"I can't really deny that," she confessed.
"I don't want you to feel that way anymore," Jim replied. "Send her the pictures and tell her that you'll call her this weekend, okay? I think maybe it would do you good."
"Okay," Johanna murmured. "I..I wouldn't mind talking to her for awhile."
"Then you do that," he told her. "Maybe in the summer; when things have settled and quiet down…maybe she can come visit you and we can bring her to see the Statue of Liberty in person."
She wrapped her arms around him in a makeshift hug as they continued their walk. "I'd like that."
Jim brushed a kiss against her temple. "Then we'll make it happen. Are you ready to get some lunch when we get back?"
"Yeah; I'm getting hungry…and you are my favorite lunch date."
He smiled. "You're my favorite too…we haven't had a lunch date in awhile."
"I know; I'm glad we're changing that today," Johanna said lightly; "And the best part is that we don't have to rush since neither one of us has anywhere to go."
"That's my favorite part too…aren't you glad I have such a brilliant mind and suggested this?"
She laughed. "Yes; I'm so glad that I'll overlook your conceit."
"You're good like that."
"I like to think so," Johanna quipped. "What else are we going to do today before Andrew and Gabby get out here?"
"Oh we'll find things to do; I'm not worried."
"Me neither," she replied, feeling a little bit of her stress easing as they walked along with their arms around each other.
Awhile later; they were seated in a nice restaurant that they had selected after Googling their options in the car. So far, Johanna thought they had done well with their choice; the place was spacious and had a modern flare, the food was good, the prices and portions reasonable. She was enjoying it; not just the meal but the time spent with her husband; the bump they had suffered through in the park had faded; lightness taking its place and she was thankful that things hadn't been spoiled.
"You're quiet all of a sudden," Jim commented.
"I didn't mean to be," she replied with a smile. "I was just thinking."
"What about?"
"You'll be going on your hunting trip soon," she remarked.
"Yeah," he said with a nod. "I'm still not all that sure it's a good idea though."
"Why not?"
"I don't like leaving you for that long," Jim replied.
"You've left me for longer before. You had some long business trips at times."
"I know…but that was different. That was before…and you don't know how much I regretted all of those trips and the time away from you when I thought I lost you. When you came home, I told myself that I wasn't going to take you and our second chance for granted."
"Going on a trip with your friends isn't taking me for granted," Johanna replied. "I love every minute we have together but I don't want you to stop doing things you like to do with your friends. I told you it was alright for you to go."
"I know; but I don't think I'm going to like it."
She gave him a smile; her hand stretching toward his, her fingers softly brushing against the skin of his hand. "You will…and I think it'll be good for you. I know you have your own share of stress and worries and it'll be a good outlet for you. I'll be fine; I promise. I'll be there when you get back."
"I know you will be…but I'll worry about you."
"I'll worry about you too…you'll be out playing with guns in the woods."
He chuckled lightly. "I'm careful."
"You better be…and you warn your friends that if they're not careful and they damage you in any way; they will answer to me," she remarked; her eyes sparkling with amusement.
"I'll tell them," he laughed. "I'm sure some of them will quake in fear of your wrath."
"They better!" she giggled; "But seriously; it'll be okay. I want you to have fun…will you be able to call me?"
"Yeah; I'll be able to call from the lodge in the evening."
"Good; because I did want to at least have phone calls so I know you're okay out there."
"Don't worry, sweetheart; I'll check in. I'll want to make sure you're okay too."
"I will be," Johanna assured; "I promise not to go out unless I have to and I'll let Katie know if I do have to go to the store or something; even if it does annoy her."
He smiled. "Alright; and Andrew should still be in town, so don't hesitate to call him if you need something or have a problem."
"Okay. Will you be back in time for Katie's birthday?"
"Yeah; I'll be back the day before; probably early evening."
Johanna nodded. "I know we don't stand a chance in hell of taking her out to dinner on her birthday because I'm sure Rick will want to do that; which is only reasonable…and I can't say anything about it because I bailed on my mother for one or two birthday dinners in favor of you…so I can't say a word about dinner to her…"
"But?" Jim laughed.
"But; I was thinking maybe we could grab her for lunch. I'd like to be able to see her for a little while…give her a gift."
"You know she keeps saying that she doesn't want a gift."
"I didn't want to be in labor for twenty-two hours either; I found it quite dramatic of her. She can compensate me by accepting a birthday gift," Johanna replied.
He laughed. "I don't know if she'll see it that way."
"I'm not going to go overboard. I saw a jacket on Macy's website that I think she'll like so I ordered it and I thought I'd get a bottle of her perfume or something…you know, just keeping it simple so she wouldn't think I was trying to overwhelm her and I figured you'd probably get her something."
"I usually just give her some giftcards. I'll pick up a couple before my trip."
"Okay; then it's not the overwhelming gift giving occasion she seems to think I'm going to spring on her, right?"
"Right," he agreed; "Keeping it simple is best this year…although you'd probably get a better deal on the perfume for Christmas."
"Probably; but I didn't have that set in stone. I'm just not sure what else to get her because I'm trying to be…underwhelming? I don't want to make her angry when she keeps proclaiming she wants nothing but I have to give her something; it wouldn't feel right to me…and I want to get her something. I haven't gotten to in a long time."
"I know, sweetheart. I'm sure you'll think of something; if not, the jacket could be a good way to ease into it. I know you like to spoil her but just start off small."
"Her purse is starting to show some wear," Johanna stated; "Maybe I could get her a new one…just that and the jacket? Do you think that would be okay?"
Jim nodded. "Yeah; I think that would be okay. It's simple, it's not too much…it's not on the sentimental side, which you know, she'd be glad of that."
"Right…no sappy gifts; she'd probably hit me with a sappy gift."
"Probably…and then I'd have to yell and that wouldn't be a good lunch."
"We need to take her somewhere nice for lunch that also has cake as an option for dessert…can't have a birthday celebration without a piece of cake."
"We'll get it all worked out…we have to see if she'll agree to it first. I know her birthday fell on a Saturday this year but we don't know if she'll have to work or not."
"I hope not," Johanna replied. "I don't want to miss another birthday…especially not when we're in the same city. I know she'll have plans with Rick for the evening; but I'd like to at least see her for a little while…even just an hour."
Jim patted her hand. "We'll get it worked out; you'll see her."
She gave him a smile. "We've got a lot of stuff coming up; your trip; Katie's birthday…"
"Thanksgiving," he said happily; "The holiday of food."
"I'm looking forward to us having Thanksgiving," she said warmly.
"Me too…I'm already mentally composing the menu I want you to prepare."
Johanna laughed. "Really?"
"Mhmm…will you make me your mom's pumpkin pie?"
"Yes, honey; I always did once she wasn't here to make it for you."
"Good; because I've missed that. Katie tried to make it that one year and it didn't turn out and she wouldn't try again."
"You'll have your pie," she promised. "Since I don't like pumpkin; I might make an apple pie too."
"That sounds good too; the more pies the better."
"We'll have to discuss what all is going to be on the menu," Johanna said, happiness tingeing her tone. "What do Andrew and Gabby do for Thanksgiving?"
"They go wherever they're invited."
"Should we invite them to our house…or would you rather it just be us and Katie this time; that is if she comes?"
Jim shook his head. "No; I'm fine with inviting Andrew and Gabby. I think that would be great."
"Okay; then we'll do that…and I was thinking, maybe we could invite Samantha and the baby; because she might be alone."
"Yes; you should invite Sammi over with the baby. There's no point in her spending the holiday alone if she doesn't have to."
"It'll be nice," Johanna said, her hand finding his once more. "I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving…I can't wait to cook that meal for you again."
"I can't wait either…it's always been a special thing for us."
"Yeah; it has been…and I've missed it."
"Me too, sweetheart," he replied; and then he allowed himself to broach the question that came to mind. "What did you do for Thanksgiving when you were away?"
"Nothing," she answered. "Carolyn would invite me to her house but I didn't want to intrude on her family holidays and I don't think I could've stood seeing a happy family together when I couldn't be with mine. So I'd politely decline and just stay home and eat a TV dinner if I felt up to it…a lot of times I didn't…and sometimes in the evening, Carolyn would bring me a plate of leftovers from her meal; and she'd stay until I ate…I guess to make sure I did."
"I think that even though she didn't know your whole story, she sensed a great deal of it," Jim remarked. "She knew you were missing someone."
"I did have a few slipups through the years," she admitted. "I've told you about that though; it wasn't major…but it was enough to give her a picture I guess, even though she had the wrong idea about what happened to my family."
"I know," he replied, giving her hand a reassuring pat. "It'll be different this year though…you'll be where you belong…and you can call her and let her hear how happy you can be on that day."
A smile touched her lips. "Yeah; I can do that."
"It's going to be good this year," he told her, a note of promise in his voice.
She nodded, a touch of nerves flicking across her face. "What did you do for Thanksgiving?"
He breathed deeply. "Well, if Katie didn't have to work, she would come over and cook the meal; when she had to work, then I'd go to Michael's and Natalie would send her a plate that I'd drop off to her."
Johanna took a sip of her drink, giving her a moment to push down her emotions. "I'm glad you weren't alone," she murmured.
"It was never the same without you," he remarked. "I wish you hadn't been alone."
"It's okay," she replied; "I won't be alone this time…I'll be with you…and hopefully Katie will come."
"I'm sure if she doesn't have to work that she will…it's your first holiday home; where else would she be?"
Johanna smiled. "With her boyfriend."
"I think for this year, you should get to out rank…considering everything."
"She might not agree," she laughed.
"She needs to."
"I'm not going to push," Johanna stated; "If she wants to bail on me for Thanksgiving, I can handle that…but I do want Christmas with her."
Jim had a feeling that would be a harder sell but he didn't want to ruin the day by taking them down that dark road. "Let's finish our lunch and then go see what else we can do."
"It's a shame we didn't know about this in advance," Johanna remarked. "We could've spent the night…I'm having a nice time here and I have you all to myself; with the exception of a few hours later when Andrew and Gabby join us."
Jim smiled, his eyes lighting up at the idea. "Hey, we can spend the night; that's not a problem."
"It kind of is," she laughed. "We didn't bring anything; we can't just go check into a hotel without luggage; they'd think you picked me up on some corner."
He shook his head. "That's easily solved; we'll get luggage."
"We can't drive back home, pack a bag and come back; that would be crazy!"
"That's not what I meant at all," Jim said. "They have stores here…plenty of them. We just go buy some things for tonight and tomorrow morning and a get an overnight bag and pack the stuff in it in the car."
"That's crazy! Do you know how much that would cost?"
"Not much if we buy reasonably priced stuff. We'll get a room at that hotel with the best view of the city across the water."
"That place costs a fortune!"
"We can afford a night there."
"Jim; it's a lot of money to spend for one night when we count buying what we'd need to do so."
He smiled. "We're being spontaneous."
"It's crazy," she laughed.
"When you're being spontaneous, a little bit of craziness is to be expected. Come on, sweetheart; you have your list and I have mine…remember when we said that when we got to this age, we'd take spur of the moment trips and just have fun and not worry?"
"Yeah; I remember…"
"Well…you already agreed to run away with me…so why not be spontaneous and spend the night like you want?" he coaxed. "We can afford it…we deserve it too, I believe."
"That's true," she said slowly.
"So how about it?" he grinned. "You want to be spontaneous and crazy with me?"
"Always," she laughed.
"Then should we finish lunch and go shopping and then get that room? Think of how happy we'll be…and already are."
"We'll be paying a lot of money to be that happy."
"We're worth it," Jim stated; "You know you want to…are you game?"
She smiled as she nodded. "Yeah; I'm game…let's be crazy and spontaneous."
Jim gave her a somewhat gloating smile. "It's good to know that I haven't lost my touch in persuading you to come around to my way of thinking."
Johanna smirked at him. "Like you didn't already know it."
"Never hurts to have proof; especially in our line of work."
She laughed. "You mean your line of work? Because I don't seem to be in that line anymore."
He shrugged. "Just because you've retired from it so to speak doesn't mean it isn't still in there…besides; you'll always be my favorite lawyer."
Johanna smiled, giving a small shake of her head. "That statement really shouldn't have just gotten to me the way that it did."
"Which one? The favorite lawyer one?"
"Yeah," she grinned.
Amusement sparkled in his eyes. "You want to get the hotel room first instead of the shopping? Because I'm okay with that."
"I'm sure you would be," she laughed; "But I'm not checking in without a bag…you do that and they know what you're doing."
"I don't care if they know."
"Of course not; you men like to brag."
"Come on, sweetheart; we're being spontaneous," he replied; his tone warm and loving as he took her hand.
Johanna shook her head. "You said shopping first."
He gave a dramatic sigh. "You're always such a stickler for rules that make me wait."
A sly smile slid across her lips. "I know…it makes it all the sweeter in the end."
"How do I know you're not just teasing me?"
"I rarely ever tease you."
His fingertips caressed her hand. "Are you sure about that?"
"Mhmm."
"I might need a little proof of your intentions, Mrs. Beckett," he stated.
Johanna gave him a grin. "Well…if you take me shopping, I just might buy something special for our evening," she told him, her tone low and carrying a seductive note.
His brow rose. "Something special occasion?"
"Of course…this is a special occasion, isn't it?" she asked, her eyes gleaming.
"It's getting more special by the minute, sweetheart."
"Then what do you say?"
Jim laughed. "Let's go shopping."
Her foot brushed against his leg. "More words that melt my heart, darling."
"God, I'm glad I had to come here today," he remarked.
"I'm glad I got to come along."
He smiled. "Wouldn't have even thought of making the trip without you…but if you're really glad, we can get that room first."
"Nope," she laughed; "Shopping; remember, you already melted me."
"If you think that's good; wait until I melt you later."
"Oh no," Johanna said, her tone low as her fingers caressed his; "Later, I melt you."
Jim captured her hand, a grin on his lips. "Let's go shopping."
"We didn't have dessert," she quipped; "Usually you're big on that."
"I'm good for now," he replied; "We've got better things to do."
"You're giving shopping priority over your stomach? I'm going to kiss you senseless when we get to the car."
"This is getting better all the time," Jim remarked as he signaled the waiter for the check.
She smiled softly, her gaze full of love and thankfulness as she met his eye. "Yeah; it is."
