"What? She's missing for three days?" Hijikata drawled while cleaning his sword.

"Yes! Tsubasa-san has been missing for three days and we're wondering if she's here."

"Mayora, did you kidnap Sasa to be your bride?" Kagura questions the Vice-commander whose face flashed red before them.

"Hijikata-san, Sasa is not that kind of woman who you can handle." Sougo drawled. "If I am the Prince of the Planet of Sadists, she shall be my long-lost sister." compared to the sweet-natured Mistsuba, the equally sadistic blonde is more like Sougo's sister. There were times Hijikata and Kondo suspected that she might be Sougo's long-lost sister who had decided to prank them by pretending that she is from Konoha.

Hijikata went as far as to request a DNA test to be conducted on the pair.

However, the results are negative.

"That's none of my concern!" Hijikata hisses at Sougo.

"Toshi, it is. We will have to take into account that you need more bonding time with Tsubasa-san and assign more days off for you. And we need to sound-proof your room and this means that we'll need to inform Matsu-san for more fees for your room upgrade." Kondo told Hijikata, placing a comforting hand on the latter's shoulder. It made Hijikata drop his sword and cigarette to gape at Kondo.

"I don't need those damn things! Who..."

"Ah, Hijikata-san enjoys sharing bondage moments with Sasa with us. How very considerate of you."

"That's not what I'm trying to say you Sadist!" he snaps, waving his sword wildly at Sougo.

"Hijikata might not look like it but he becomes M when Sasa's around."

"Hahahaa! Hijikata-kun, what happened to you huh? Has your taste in women been screwed by that Saw parody that you are into trannies these days? Bwahahaaha!" Gintoki laughed and everyone in the room pointed to the area below their eye.

"Your eyebags."