Never Say I Love You

A/N: Officially, this is the last chapter. So I'll put this on Complete after I upload… but you must know that there is an Epilogue, which I may or may not upload today. But it will be up, never fear. The first chapter of the Sequel is done as well, but you might not be seeing that anytime soon. I intend to finish at least half of it before I start posting. Without further ado, I present to you, the final chapter of our convoluted tale of love, acceptance and redemption (yeah, that was what this is all about, what were you thinking? *wink).

Chapter 28: A Favor for a Friend

010101010

(Severus' POV)

Blue light rushed from the tip of my wand towards Alana. She fell backwards from the impact, but Regulus caught her just in time. My hands shook. Regulus situated Alana's unconscious form on the couch before turning to me. His features were less harsh now.

"You did the right thing, you know?"

I sighed.

"I –care –for her, Regulus."

The blue-eyed ma smiled slightly.

"I knew that. That day at the Leaky… you should have seen your face as you spoke of her, Severus. You don't just care for her. You love her."

I gave Regulus a puzzled look before letting out a deep breath.

"I –I do."

I had finally admitted it to myself, out loud. I glanced at Alana. She looked so peaceful. I turned to Regulus.

"You could kill me now."

The man looked at me, seemingly amused. He shook his head.

"You know I can never do that, Severus. I may have never told you, but –you are more of a brother to me than Sirius ever was, and –" he too looked at Alana. "She never managed to say it, but I can see it in her eyes. For some reason, you make her –happy."

"I have hurt her," I let out another deep sigh. "I can get her killed." I toyed with the wand I was holding. "Keep her safe, Reg. Keep her and my son safe."

"You know I will," Regulus said. A pregnant pause came on as Regulus inspected his, now sleeping, sister's face. The Obliviate I used on Alana should keep her out for at least a day, while her mind sorted out her memories. Regulus was speaking quietly.

"She really does look like Siri."

I snorted.

"I don't see any resemblance at all."

Regulus managed a smile.

"Siri will kill you if he knew… But I don't think I could tell him – Just how much did you modify of her memory?"

"Anything and everything about me and in turn, about the Dark Lord, she will not remember. She will know of her past –but she will think that you have accidentally found her in a half-way house for muggle women." I said, massaging my neck. "She will believe this –permanently, or at least, until the caster removes the block willingly. Not even my death will lift the spell. You will need to come up with a way to explain her pregnancy… tell her –tell her it was a potions accident."

Regulus eyed me warily.

"I know I threatened you for touching my sister, Severus. But –you could still change your mind about the war –"

"I still have a role to play, Regulus." I reminded him. "I started this final stretch, I made the damned prophecy known –I shall see it to the end." I eyed Alana once more. "It will be better this way… and by the way, you had every right to threaten my person. I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes."

Regulus nodded absent-mindedly.

"I guess I should start preparing to go abroad then," he stood up from his seat next to Alana and walked towards me. He placed a hand on my shoulder. "I may hate your guts for corrupting my sister, but we're still friends, you know,"

I nodded. Regulus sighed.

"After the war –you can give her back her memories of you –"

"We both know that after the war, I wouldn't exactly be around to do that,"

"Severus –"

I shook my head.

"I do not expect to live after all of this, Regulus –and it may be for the better, that way. But this is the path we chose when we took the Mark. The only difference between us is that you have something to live for, now that you have Alana –"

"And you don't?" Regulus asked, incredulously. "Severus, martyrs aren't Slytherins –they're bloody Gryffindors –"

"I was almost a Gryffindor, you know?" I smiled. Regulus' mouth was agape.

"You're –come on! You're pulling my leg!"

"No. My first best friend was sorted in Gryffindor."

"Evans," Regulus put in. I nodded.

"I tried arguing with the Sorting Hat to put me there –almost did, actually."

"You did –WHAT?" Regulus exclaimed. "Well, how did you end up with us Snakes then?"

I sighed.

"In the end, the Hat told me that Red really wasn't my color. 'Said that I'd look like I have the Flu all the time and that I'd look better in Green and Silver. Apparently those two do not make my skin look so pale."

"Wow," Regulus breathed. "Does my brother even know this –that you could have been a Lion?"

"He'd off himself if he did."

"Then the more you should tell him."

"I think Lily already did –he did not believe her. 'Called me a pretentious slithering git –maybe the first time in existence that your brother had ever used a word that was more than two syllables too."

Regulus' face fell.

"What about Evans, Severus? I –you –love her still?" I looked him in the eye; His question brought me back t reality.

"I –"

I honestly did not know how to answer that one, not right now. In the end, I decided to just let it out.

"She –will always be –special to me, always."

Regulus sighed/

"Look, Severus –I wish I could do something to help you save her life… but you won't get Alana –"

"Reg, I'd never do that even if I can. I had no right playing God with other people's lives –that would just make me a shade lighter than the Dark Lord. I –I will find a way… I have warned Dumbledore. He would keep them safe." Regulus looked like he was about to argue but he kept it to himself instead.

"In that case then, we'll take our leave." He moved to lift Alana in his arms, but I stopped him.

"Her things, you should get them first."

Regulus looked pensive for a moment before nodding. I led him towards Alana's room. I did not come in with him and just contented myself with watching him shrink everything and place it in his pockets. As he did, my heart grew heavier every passing minute –And when he was finally done, it was beating almost to a stop.

"Anything else?" Regulus asked, lastly pocketing Alana's own ebony wand –the twin to my own –in his robes.

I shook my head and used my wand to close the door to Alana's room and locked it sealed. I would never open that door again. I led my friend back to the library. I was so caught up with my emotions that I did not notice Regulus giving me a concerned look.

"Alright Severus?"

""Huh? Yeah," I said half-heartedly. Regulus did not look convinced.

"It will be difficult Severus, you have to acknowledge that."

"I am used to things being difficult. My mind is just swirling with a whole gamut of discoveries and realizations. I am still not used to the idea of –of having a son… You know me, Reg. I am a loner. I do not do well with relationships. Now, I have a son, my own flesh and blood –and I cannot even give him the life he deserves! Merlin, I would not even be there when he's born –when he grows up! I never expected to be a father –I never dreamed… But now –I just wish things were different."

"Are you having second thoughts about sending Alana away? Because if you are –"

"What? No." I assured him. "I just –it will be difficult knowing –but this is the right thing to do. I want them safe and away from this war. Even if that means that I do not get to see them. I have done a lot of mistakes in my life –I will not mess this one up. Take them. Only you could do it, only you I could trust. Give them what I cannot."

I found myself in tears after that, there, by the library door, I found myself giving in to the flood of emotions I did not know I had until that very moment –faced with the toughest choice I ever made in my life.

I remembered my last dream –this was it. I let go of Lily, of my past –and embraced the uncertainty of the future.

I chose Alana and our child. I felt Regulus wrap his arms around me.

"It will be better, Severus," he said. "You did the right thing –and it will all be over soon."

"How so?" I asked, my voice cracking. "I do not know –Everything is so fucked up, Regulus! Do I not deserve to be happy? Do I –It should have not happened this way!" I pulled away from him as I buried my face in my hands. Silence. Then,

"No, It did not happen."

I looked up to find an explanation to what Regulus had just said, but instead of an answer, I found myself on the end of a wand –Alana's own in her brother's hands. Regulus' hands shook as he spoke.

"I'm sorry Severus, but this is for your own good."

Of what good that was, I never found out. As the last word that came from my friends lips sealed that memory away in the farthest corner of my mind.

"OBLIVIATE!"

Then all was blue. Then black.

Darkness consumed me.

0101010101

A/N: Now, who saw that one coming? Tell me your thoughts. In the mean time, I'll be working on getting the Epilogue out. Thanks for reading and reviewing! -C.