Chapter Twenty Eight
Kara took a step towards Lee. "Look, it's not something I'm proud of, okay?
Like I said, I was pretty pissed and you had nearly died. I wasn't-"
"Kara, this is her child for frak sakes!" Lee hissed. "Never mind the whole
toaster/human thing makes my skin crawl. You..." he shook his head and Kara
couldn't look at him. "You had no right, Kara."
He looked so dissapointed in her. Kara wanted to explain that at the time
she felt justified. That a part of her still did think that Sharon should be made to
suffer for what she had put them all through. Kara didn't say think she should say
this. She still couldn't just let him take the righteous high road though.
"No right?" she burst. "Do you not remember what her kind did to Kaylee?
Sharon was going to let her die, Lee. Sharon was going let Kaylee suffocate as her
tiny lungs filled with fluid and got more and more infected. So don't frakking stand
stand there and tell me I had no right to make that bitch suffer!" Kara hadn't meant to
let her rage overcome her, but now it was too late.
"You think I don't hate her as much as you do for what she did? Oh, I forgot,
I'm just Kaylee's father. I didn't give a shit at all when she got sick. I didn't feel like my
heart had stopped every single time that child had to struggle to breathe, or had a
coughing fit in my arms-"
"Baaaahhhhhhh!" Kaylee screamed covering her ears and squeezing her
eyes shut.
Lee went still and white in front of her and as Kara watched Kaylee she had a
brief flash of memory. She was about 4 or so and she was sitting in the corner, the
broom handle propped againt her back as her mother raged at her in the kitchen.
For a second, Kara's nostrils filled with the dank bitter smell of beer and she had to
take a step back. Her hands were over her small ears, rocking back and forth.
And she was looking at that exact image refelected on Kaylee's face.
"Gods...I can't. I have to-"
Lee reached out and grabbed Kara's wrist. "Oh no you don't. You're not
running out now." He eased his grip but held up a finger in warning that she was to
stay put.
Kara wanted to clock her husband in his nose but she didn't move when she
noticed that he was turning to kneel down to Kaylee.
"Sweetie? Look at daddy." Lee reached up and pulled Kaylee's hands off
her ears. Little blue eyes met his and they were obviously none too impressed with
him at the moment
"Dee! Meeemee, Bah!" Kaylee exclaimed, her lips quivering and her eyes
glistening with unshed tears.
"I know we were pretty loud, huh? Sorry about that," Lee gathered Kaylee up
up into his arms and stood up. "It's okay, honey. Mommy and daddy were just
talking, okay?"
Kara snorted and Lee glared at her in warning. Fine, she got it. It was about
Kaylee right now. She took a deep breath and reached a hand up to Kaylee's back.
"It's all right kiddo. Daddy's right," Kara barely got the words out past her
clenched teeth.
"Meeee, ayyyy?" Kaylee asked, turning and reaching for her mother. Kara bit
back her grin of triumph that their daughter wanted her instead of her precious
'deedee' right now. But it bit her in the ass when Lee said, "Hey Kaylee. How would
you like to go see Sharon?"
Kara glared at him. "Like hell,"
"Yes, you are. I'm gonna go see my father. Kara, you have to tell-"
"You do it if you're so into confessions." Kara turned away from him and went
to try and get Kaylee back to bed.
Lee followed her. "I'm not the one who kept a secret they had no business
keeping. You're not putting her to bed. You're going down to the brig and you're
taking Kaylee to see Sharon-"
"Shaaaaaa!" Kaylee agreed clapping.
"and you're going to tell Sharon that her daughter is alive."
"Or what, Lee? You won't put out?" Kara challenged mockingly.
"Dammit, Kara this isn't a frakking joke!" Lee grabbed her, making Kaylee's
eyes go round. For his daughter's sake Lee made a visible effort to reign in his
temper. "She's been grieving for a child who's still alive. I know a little something
about that, even if I never got to hold Jamie in my arms that doesn't mean I don't
think about him and miss the kid I never knew every single day."
"What and I don't?" Kara asked, not wanting to go down this path, but Lee
had started it and it seemed to be an unstoppable train, hurtling down to what could
only be a horrific crash.
"Yeah well, you kept that little tidbit to yourself too, didn't you?" Lee shot
back.
Kara didn't think about the fact that she was still holding Kaylee, she just
hauled back and slapped Lee. But the blow made her arm glanced sharply off the
side of Kaylee's head.
The three of them looked at each other for a stunned, suspended second
and then Kaylee broken into a wail the likes of which Kara had never heard, nor
hoped to hear again. It was a slow starting, low pitched, heartbroken sound.
"Take her, oh Gods, Lee. Take her," Kara pleaded trembling, afraid she was
going to drop her child because Kara's knees were shaking so bad she didn't think
she'd be able to stay upright.
Lee didn't argue this time. Kaylee eagerly went into her father's arms and
buried her face in Lee's shoulder as her body shook with small sobs.
Kara stared at the red imprint of her hand against Lee's skin then pushed
past him into the bathroom where she threw up Kaylee's birthday pancakes into the
toilet.
Somewhere, Karen Thrace was laughing her dead ass off, Kara thought as
she sat on the floor next to the toilet. She had hit her child! She had hit Kaylee. The
words played themselves over in her head making the bile in her throat rise higher
until she had to throw up again. How could she do something so fundamentally
wrong to that sweet little piece of her very soul. My Gods, Kara thought, the tears
coarsing down her cheeks. Especially after everything that she'd been through.
It was a few minutes before Kara couldn't hear Kaylee crying anymore. She
wondered if Lee had finally put her to bed or if he was waiting for Kara to come out
so he could force her to go come clean with Sharon. Gods, she just couldn't do it.
Not today.
A soft knock on the door made her jump.
"Kara? Are you okay?"
Kara gave a bitter laugh. "Not so much, no."
A beat of silence. "Can I come in?"
Kara crawled to the door and opened it slowly. Kaylee stuck her head
around the door hesitantly after Lee stepped in to the bathroom.
He didn't say anything, just put his arms around her.
The kid was terrified of her. No frakking wonder. Kara's face crumpled and
fresh tears filled her eyes. Kaylee stepped forward and patted Kara's raised knee.
Then she leaned her head down and kissed it. Kara choked on a sob.
"Meeeemeeee no bah," Kaylee tilted her head and rested it on Kara's knee.
Kara hesitantly raised her arms a fraction of an inch, afraid Kaylee would turn
away from her and back to Lee.
Kaylee fell into her arms and Kara squeezed her so tight she was afraid
she'd hurt her. Again. No, never again, Kara vowed fiercely. She looked over
Kaylee's head at Lee. "Tomorrow," she promised him. "I'll tell her tomorrow."
