A/N : Special Thanks to my Beta and co-author, Shelbylou.
Also want to thank all my readers and reviewers. I appreciate every one of you.
The rest of the week passed without incident or emotional meltdown. Ducky brought in a friend who was a psychologist by profession; Dr. Paul Dennison. He wasted no time at all in getting every bit of the background information available from the team. He wanted to get everything on what he was walking into, more so to keep Tim from having to repeat anything painful that could potentially hinder his recovery. than anything else.
Although no one pried the lid off Tim's feelings about these sessions with the doc, or about anything else for that matter, the difference in their friend was obvious. Almost immediately it seemed, as Tim's demeanor seemed to change slightly but steadily for the better. There were plenty of shadows still lurking in his eyes and the dark circles that ringed them were still fading slowly but his color and his appetite returned and everyone began to breathe a sigh of relief. And that was only after a week of talking with the doc.
When Tim was finally allowed to get out of bed and come down stairs, he gravitated toward the younger people when they were there, choosing to spend his time in their company, both to give the older men a well deserved break from taking care of him and to avoid the possibility of talking about things that had already been bashed out with the psychologist. It seemed to be working out well for all of them. Everyone's appetites were back to normal, the team had gotten back into the normalcy of having their jobs back and Tim was slowly but surely coming back to them, all the way around.
Even Gibbs had taken his job back, although he'd done it with reservations. After all if something happened to him, who would look after Tim? Who would make sure he wouldn't lose himself to everything he'd been through? Gibbs knew that Tim not only relied on him, but was counting on him to be his security blanket right now, and would be completely lost if that was ripped away from him with everything else he'd been through. So, this time around, caution was prevalent. Vests were worn regularly now; no one needed to be lost from the team and if the small safety measures like wearing Kevlar kept them alive, then any discomfort they felt would soon be forgotten. The fact that the team was one short already was a constant reminder of their ability to become a victim or worse, a casualty.
As the team let out a collective sigh of relief regarding the fact that the hurdles that had been cleared with Tim, were good ones and had been taken care of inside of only two weeks; things seemed to take a nose-dive right back to the bottom, almost instantaneously on the 3rd Saturday morning. The first day they team had free from work and from being on call was two weeks since Tim had been out of the hospital; Tim's demeanour suddenly regressed back to the state he'd been in the first morning after Sara's funeral. He'd fallen asleep on his couch, which now sat in Gibbs' living room. The team had left him to it, choosing to gather in the kitchen and talk quietly among themselves while he slept.
When he got up, he was subdued and quiet, his eyes were once again shrouded in sorrow and pain. Silently, he took himself outside to the yard; When Abby had gone into the living room to check on his seemingly extra long nap, she'd been startled to find he wasn't there. Luckily, she'd noticed movement out on the back porch and seen him there. From the slouch of his shoulders she could tell something was hinky. Upon going out back to talk to him, she could see he was in fact, extremely upset about something. She noticed his hands were clenched into fists and seemed to be holding his bent head up. Tim's shoulders were shaking with heart wrenching sobs which were becoming more and more audible by the minute.
The fact that he hadn't heard her come outside spoke volumes of how upset he really was. It left Abby torn, she had no idea whether she should wrap her arms around her hurting Timmy or seek solace for her friend somewhere else. She made her decision and slipped back inside and quickly went back to the kitchen. Gibbs looked up at her as she stopped in the doorway and she silently motioned for him to join her in the hallway.
"What is it?" he asked with concern at the devastated look on her face and the tears in her eyes.
"Something's really wrong with Tim, Gibbs! He's out on the porch and he's crying and I don't mean just quiet tears, crying, Gibbs! I mean really hard sobbing, crying!" she said agitatedly, her tears now sliding down her face at the thought of Timmy in more emotional pain.
"Ok. Abbs, I'll talk to him. Don't let anyone come out back till I get back." Gibbs requested as he kissed her cheek, squeezed her hand comfortingly and headed out to see what was going on. Tim had been doing so well. What the hell had happened?
When he saw the state Tim was in, even from the doorway to the outside, Gibbs' heart plummeted down to his feet. Oh, yeah, Abby was right, something was very wrong. It was time for Tim to let someone in on whatever it was that was causing him this level of pain, If Gibbs had to call the doc about his, he would.
"Tim?" Gibbs question loaded with concern only managed to quiet the younger man's sobs. The tears still flowed and his shoulders remained hunched. The most telling sign that something was seriously wrong, though, rested in the fact that Tim still hadn't looked Gibbs' way.
"Talk to me, son. What's going on?" the older man gently pushed.
"You knew." Tim quietly accused with pain.
"What did I know, Tim?" Gibbs was clearly confused.
"You knew my sister was killed in my apartment while I was busy running away and you didn't tell me." Tim raged as he turned and glared at Gibbs with so much pain and anger, it was almost tangible.
"Yes. I knew. When you read the files, Tim, I thought you'd found that out for yourself. Considering how upset you are, I'm guessing that's not the case." Gibbs said carefully.
"No. I never saw that." Tim quieted down. Gibbs was right, how the hell did they know what he did or didn't read from the file? It wasn't their fault. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Just tell me what brought this on." Gibbs requested sympathetically.
Tim reached into his shirt pocket and pulled something out, handing it to Gibbs.
"I found this in the cushions of my couch." Tim admitted solomnly.
Gibbs looked at what was in Tim's hand; something his mind had trouble comprehending, it was so horrible, he didn't understand why it hadn't been found when the apartment had been cleaned or worse, when the couch had been moved over here. The bottom line was someone's head was gonna roll for this!
Focus, Marine! Who didn't find it doesn't matter now. What matters now, is getting your boy through this and back on his feet! Gibbs silently admonished himself.
He silently folded the picture that Tim had found when he woke and pocketed it so Tim couldn't torment himself with it anymore. He looked over at his youngest agent...surrogate son, with watery eyes. The young man had been through the hell and high water that had been thrown at him and he'd managed to get started toward recovering and getting better and now this?
This one small piece of paper held an image so powerful that it could throw Tim back into the depression that had threatened to destroy his soul the first time round. Gibbs made a decision there and then, there was no way in hell that was going to happen again and he would do everything in his power to make sure Tim was safe from the emotional hell this was threatening to send him back to.
Gibbs rounded his shoulders and grasped Tim's arm to pull him up and helped him over to the garden chair that sat on the wooden porch deck. He knelt down and looked up to meet Tim's gaze. With every ounce of conviction and promise he had to offer he spoke:
"'Tim, it doesn't matter, Son. You've come so far and this is just a small setback. I don't want you keeping this inside."
"Small setback? Boss she was murdered right there in my apartment, she was...Oh my God! I was sleeping on the couch where..." Tim was distraught at the very thought.
"No! She did die in your apartment, Son, but she did not die on your couch, I promise you that!" Gibbs vowed with all the compassion and honesty he knew Tim needed desperately right now. Still need to get a new couch. The Team Leader thought.
Tim looked at Gibbs for a long silent minute, searching for the truth in his eyes before he finally nodded slightly and swiped his hand over his moist cheek to wipe away some of the tears that continued to fall.
"I can't go back there, Boss. I just can't, knowing….It's too…'. Once again, Tim was too upset to finish his thoughts.
"Wasn't planning on letting you go back there, Tim. There are other options."' Gibbs interrupted him compassionately.
Tim shook his head and looked out at the perfectly manicured back yard. God, Jethro always loved it here! He thought to himself painfully.
"What options Boss, I stay here? I move in with you, Tony, Ducky? I don't even have a job!" Tim exclaimed in a fresh wave of frustration.
Gibbs stopped the outburst by holding up his hand. When Tim had quieted, Gibbs answered his questions. "If that's what it takes, until you get back on your feet at least. We're family. Let us help you however we can. It's what families do, Son."'
Seeing motion at the door, Gibbs nodded his permission to the rest of the team to join them now. Tim was saved from answering by numerous footsteps heading his way and was surprised when a 'light' beer was slapped in his hand.
"Ducky said it was ok, Probie, so how about we spend some quality family time together out here."
Tim glanced up and turned his glassy eyes over the group that had descended on him. Tony, Ziva, Abby and Ducky were all settling down close by on the large throw cushions that Abby had carried out with her. He felt Tony nudge his leg slightly and looked down to that irresistible smile that helped break the ice, it was long before he was drawn into the familiar banter that served to help lift his grief, at least for the time being.
Gibbs shook his head with a grin. He loved his team and knew, that no matter what, he could always rely on them to step up to the plate when it was truly needed. After all, what held them together, was a combination of Tim's family bonds; the ties to which, the team would never let become broken despite Tim losing them as well as the new one family bonds that were stronger than ever after everything everyone has been through with him
There was no doubt whatsoever that this team; this family, would find their way, After all the bonds that held them together now were unbreakable
