DISCLAIMER: I base my stories on Intellectual Property (IP) owned by BioWare ™ and EA™. I pretend to live in their world.

SPOILERS: I refer to information from the games, the novels and the comics. If you have not played or read, please beware.

"Don't let it be forgot
That once there was a spot
For one brief shining moment…"
That was Ferelden
Ruled by King Maric the Savior
Camelot – Lerner and Lowe

Chapter 28: THE FATHERS


9:24 Dragon Kingsway === Royal Palace, Denerim

Cailan stalked into his father's study. "You said you would acknowledge him this year."

Maric looked at his son, then closed his eyes and took a breath before answering, "No, Cailan, I said I would consider acknowledging him this year."

"Why didn't you?"

"Next year. I promise, next year, during the autumn Landsmeet."

"Then let him come to Denerim until then. He can squire with Loghain. Or go to Highever and squire there. In fact, why not the Spring Landsmeet?"

Maric just sat and stared at Cailan.

"Father, I know he's getting a good education. Probably better than mine. He's getting arms training. Probably as good as mine. But, he's my brother. We should know each other better. With Fergus married and Nathaniel in the Free Marches, I have no friends any more. I don't care for Kendalls and Thomas Howe – I enjoy wo…wine and ale as well as the next man, but they take it too far. It would be nice to have a brother. Why wait?"

Maric rubbed the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. He sat back and looked at his son. "Cailan, you'll have to trust me on this. It's necessary."

"What's necessary?" Loghain walked in on the disagreement between father and son.

"Keeping Alistair locked away," Cailan snapped.

"Ah."

Cailan whirled on him, "Ah? That's all you can say, ah? He should be here, with us, not hidden away at Dragon's Peak where only you can visit him."

"Cailan!" Maric's tone was sharp. "That's enough. Loghain happens to agree with you, but it was an argument he did not win. I am his father and King here, last I checked. Another year, then we'll see."

"You just promised! Now it's 'we'll see'?"

"No," Maric replied, wearily running a hand through his hair, "it's a promise Cailan. Next autumn's Landsmeet. Now, don't you have arms training?"

Sullenly, Cailan nodded and strode out.

"That went well," King Maric observed sinking into a chair by the fire.

"For a Landsmeet, yes it was relatively without incident."

Maric gave Loghain the sideways glance that meant he was not amused. "That was not what I meant."

"As you said, I'd also hoped you would acknowledge him this year."

"It's still too soon."

"He's fourteen, Maric. I thought you would acknowledge him before he became a templar initiate. Yet, you won't tell me why."

"I wish I could, but it's not a reason I can share. He's acknowledged as far as the Chantry goes. The Grand Cleric accepted his paternity when I attested to being his father and we agreed she would see him accepted at Dragon's Peak. The acknowledgement and agreement are in writing. She has copies, as do I. The Landsmeet's approval will be something of a formality after Grand Cleric Elemena speaks and shows the proof." He glanced at Loghain, when he heard a sniff. "You know this. She will see him acknowledged."

"She knows the reason?"

"No."

"And you don't think she suspects?"

Maric looked at him intently. "Suspects what?"

"That he might have magic." Loghain looked at him. "That's the reason isn't it? And that his mother is a mage, a Grey Warden, and an elf."

Maric said nothing.

"It's taken me a long time to figure it out. That elven warden, Fiona, is his mother. He has her eyes."

"So, it's taken you fourteen years to go through every woman I might have been with… all one of them… and finally discover this?"

Loghain ignored the gibe. "She left Alistair with you when she accompanied Duncan to the Warden outpost here. And since they came from Highever, I'm guessing Bryce, and perhaps Eleanor know, too."

"Yes, she left him. And yes, Bryce and Eleanor know, but not because I told them or wanted anyone else to know."

"Because Bryce knew, you didn't have to tell me. You've had an advisor."

"I should have used Bryce as an advisor in this. Sadly, I didn't. And you? You and I have a shaky history with Orlesian elves."

Loghain snorted. "I would never have hurt-"

"-not what I meant, Loghain. Of course, you wouldn't hurt him…and probably not her. I just meant it was only two years after Rowan died and you were somewhat unhappy with me after the Deep Roads-."

"-somewhat?"

"My point exactly. Let's not revisit that argument. The upshot is that Fiona became pregnant, could not, as a Grey Warden, keep him, and brought him to me. She asked that he be raised away from court. Provided some kind of normal life. Maker…I did not want to give him up, but given her request and the risk of magic, keeping him away from court seemed the best thing to do.

"If Teagan had been older and held Rainesfere, I would have chosen him, but he was still young, only nineteen, and had no lands. Unlike Highever, Redcliffe's remote location made it a better choice. Eamon had not married Isolde and Teagan spent time there when not squiring here, so it seemed a good choice. I expected Eamon would foster the boy as he would any noble's son, educate him, train him…clearly, he didn't and I did not provide adequate oversight. All the arguments around the marriage to Isolde distracted me and I didn't visit, ask to see him or have you or Bryce oversee his care. It didn't occur to me I would have to, I'm afraid. I sometimes think I'm the King, you see, and that my orders will be followed."

Loghain snorted, but refrained from comment.

Maric continued, "Duncan promised to watch over him. Send reports to Fiona. He did, but apparently, his idea of adequate and mine differ. Duncan should have alerted me, but I suppose he thought food and a dry bed were sufficient, given his own background."

"And Bryce? He didn't try to check on Alistair?"

"Wisely, he said little. I found out later they were aware he was not treated well. I was not happy that he knew about the boy and I let him and Eleanor know it, at the time. So, they kept their distance until Lys spoke up. Another mistake."

"Why did Duncan and Fiona stop in Highever? Why not sail to Amaranthine or directly to Denerim?"

"Concocting another conspiracy?"

Loghain rubbed his forehead. "No, Maric. It's just a curious route to take. More land travel for a pregnant woman. Justinian and Solace should have good sailing weather."

"Fiona returned to Ferelden to birth him. She feared the Wardens would take him away if she stayed at Weisshaupt. When the First Warden assigned Duncan to Ferelden, she somehow got permission to accompany him. Duncan's family was originally from Higheverport and he knew the Couslands were friendly to wardens. He also knew the Higheverport Alienage would have midwives and possibly mage healers to attend Fiona. It seemed the best place to birth him. They didn't intend to alert the Couslands, but Fiona suffered from seasickness on an usually stormy voyage from Cumberland. She was ill when they landed and their plans changed.

"The Cousland Guard Captain was a boyhood friend of Duncan's. Duncan contacted him and sought shelter at the castle barracks, until he could find a midwife and a place for Fiona to stay in the Alienage. He knew the guards own healers would care for her until he found a place. What he didn't count on, not knowing Eleanor Cousland, was that the Cousland's own mage healer would check on Fiona. The next thing they knew, Fiona had lodgings in the castle with Eleanor's own midwife and mage healer attending her." Maric gave a wry grin. "Of all the places they could have stayed…of course Eleanor would bring them into her home and see them cared for. She even managed to make a friend of Fiona in the process.

"Then Alistair came early. Without the skill of the Cousland healers…well, neither he nor Fiona would have survived. When Fiona had trouble feeding him, a wet nurse was found until she recovered. I suspect, although she never said, that Eleanor played wet nurse. Lys is only a few months older than Alistair. At any rate, they stayed in the castle guest quarters until early Harvestmere."

Loghain chuckled. So Lys and Alistair were milk siblings.

"You find all this amusing?"

"No, just thinking of how much Eleanor and Lys are alike. I understand better why they feel so strongly about him. It's sad really." He stood and paced behind the chairs facing the hearth. "Maker, Maric, why didn't you just send the baby back to Highever? The Cousland's could have claimed the mother died after she left and Duncan brought the child back. You could have asked them to foster him out, not keep him at the castle. Highever is friendly to mages. Or was that the problem? I suppose you decided Redcliffe was closer to the Circle of Magi? That he could be quickly and quietly taken there by boat if he manifested magic?"

"That was a benefit, yes, and it's more remote. He wouldn't be noticed in Redcliffe. Most of all, however, I misjudged Eamon. I expected him to be like his father and Rowan. Arl Rendorn could be a hard man, but he would have taken his duty seriously. He would have fostered Alistair as a noble.

"As we now know, Eamon is not like his father. Isolde made it worse, but Eamon never treated Alistair well. You're right, in hindsight, I should have sent him to Highever." Maric sighed. "I never had a father, or a home; I suppose I didn't think it would matter. For him or for Cailan. Particularly after Rowan died. It just seemed there were so many others who could do better."

"Nothing replaces a father, Maric. I could have told you that, had you asked. I suspect Bryce would have told you the same. For all your chatter, you spend too much time thinking and not enough seeking advice and listening."

Maric cocked his head.

"Thinking about the wrong things. I think about strategic things, not feelings. And I do ask questions…and sometimes listen."

"Right. And that's worked so well for you."

"So say it. I was no better as a father and I had a superb example of both mother and father. I abandoned my wife and daughter in Gwaren to come to Denerim. Anora has never forgiven me for it."

"Or me."

"I wasn't sure it was that obvious."

"It's not. I'm just unusually perceptive." Maric smirked.

Loghain chuckled in spite of himself.

"So, we'll stipulate: we're both terrible fathers. We should have sent Alistair, Anora and Cailan to Highever as children and not retrieved them until they turned twenty."

Maric laughed, "Perhaps we should have. They are good parents aren't they? Fergus and Lys are not easy children to raise, nor are they perfect, but they're…I don't know, balanced? Cailan is all charm and bravado and Anora all intelligence and ambition. I'm hoping between them they complement each other and rule well together."

"Alistair, for all Eamon's faults, has more, as you term it, 'balance.' " Loghain sighed, "Developed, I suppose, as a result of living a harsh reality. I hope the Chantry instills more confidence in him, although I'm not sure the templars try to develop thoughtful, confident leaders. I'm afraid they look more for pious, unthinking followers. I place more hope in the brothers at the Boys School."

"I think you can take some credit as well, my friend. From what Anora says Alistair respects and cares about you." Maric smiled. "And I thank you for watching over him so well. I should have entrusted him to you and Bryce much sooner."

"He's a fine boy Maric. I'd be proud to call him son, but I am not his father." Loghain stretched his long legs as he sat and gazed thought fully into the fire. "I should have brought Anora to Denerim sooner, as you should Alistair, but, " he held up his hand, "I won't pursue that argument any further. You know my opinion. I think your throne quite secure enough to weather any repercussions." Loghain rubbed his forehead. "I tried to get Celia to come to Denerim, you know… during the winters actually, since it's not as harsh here. In Gwaren, her home, she ruled with confidence as Teyrna. Leaving Gwaren terrified her. She wouldn't do it; I wouldn't bring Anora without her mother, even though Anora asked me to."

"What frightened her? She was lovely, a natural lady. Rowan and Eleanor would have closed ranks behind her and no one would have said a word."

"Celia believed all the nobles would scorn her, if not to her face then behind her back. She heard the comments about me. The complaints about you raising me from a common farmer or worse to Teyrn. She believed similar comments about artisans daughters being raised above their station would follow. What was a point of pride in Gwaren would be a point for ridicule elsewhere. The rest of Ferelden already looks down on anyone from Gwaren as rough and unpolished. She simply didn't want to face it.

"Eleanor wrote to Celia, inviting her to stay with them at Highever House until she acclimated to the city and the nobility. Or, if Anora came alone, Eleanor invited her to stay with them instead of at Gwaren House. Celia refused. If she had met Eleanor, I'm sure they would have gotten along, over gardening if nothing else. Celia could be stubborn. Anora comes by her determination and stubbornness honestly."

"Nor is it all from Celia." Maric hesitated, then added, "Celia's refusal to come to Denerim always surprised Rowan. She hoped to befriend her. When Celia stayed away, she came to believe she was aware of our… complicated relationships."

Loghain snorted. "How she knew, I don't know. We never spoke of it. Rumors around Gwaren I suppose, but she was quite aware. Celia always knew the rumors and undercurrents of Gwaren society. She had some sixth sense, which Anora inherited from her. Anora doesn't get her political acumen from me."

Maric grinned. "That much goes without saying."

Ignoring the remark, as he often did, Loghain continued, "Even though I stayed with her in Gwaren while Rowan was alive, she could never stop thinking she was only a duty for me. I came to care for her, love her, but she never quite believed it. We had good years just before and after Anora was born, then we lost the baby boy and it was never the same. She thought she failed and let the guilt eat at her. I couldn't convince her that we had enough, just the three of us. I thought after Rowan died…but, no, she still refused to leave Gwaren. I don't think she told Anora why, but, of course, Anora picked right up on it. Anora may believe I didn't love Celia."

"Have you talked with her?"

Loghain stared at him.

"I'll assume that's a no. You should, Loghain."

Loghain shook his head. "Eleanor did help Anora when she finally came to town after Celia died. Anora would stay with them at Highever House and visit Castle Cousland frequently. Then, after a few years, she pulled away. She and Eleanor remain close, but she no longer would stay with the Couslands. Said she must establish herself as Lady Anora Mac Tir, not Eleanor's protégé. I suspect there's something more to it, but she's never admitted it.

"Her connection with Eleanor, however, is genuine. She seems to like Oriana. I just wished she liked Lys as well…and wasn't so close to Delilah Howe."

"And to Rendon?"

"She doesn't talk about him. She knows I dislike the man. I think they're still closer than I'd like. She visits Amaranthine House and Vigil's Keep, more often than I like, when he's in residence."

"I suspect in some ways, Lys and Anora are too much alike," Maric mused. "In addition, Lys has that damn Cousland self-assurance. It's not entitlement, arrogance, or superiority, although I imagine some take it as that; it's a sense that we all have a right to be here. She will respect you and she expects you to reciprocate."

Loghain looked at Maric. He had joked about it, but sometimes he could be incredibly perceptive. Loghain would be loath to concede that out loud, of course. "Anora does not have that, at least not outside of Gwaren. She tends to be mistrustful."

Maric raised his eyebrows.

"She feels she has to fight or compete for everything she has."

"Where could she have gotten that attitude?" Maric smiled.

Loghain rolled his eyes. "Right, where indeed. I should have insisted she come to Denerim, insisted she come along on some of my travels. I gave in to her too easily. She took it as me not caring. Anora always saw an ulterior motive, even when one wasn't there."

Maric raised an eyebrow, still smiling.

"Right, that's from me as well – an Orlesian conspiracy behind every bush, not," he added glowering at Maric, "that there isn't, of course. Why only last week my informers told-"

"-Maker, Loghain, can't we converse without discussion Orlesians?"

"We can try, Your Majesty." He got up and poured two brandies. "I'll wait and report on the Fereldan-Orlesian Societies another time."

Maric chuckled, "Thank the Maker for small favors."

He sipped the brandy Loghain had handed him. "Well, as we've said, I was no better with Cailan. I left him to you and his nurses after Rowan died. We all let him think life was like some myth or story. He insists that he understands it's not, but then he talks of glorious battles and wanders off to the Grey Warden barracks to spar and listen to tales of Garahel and griffons. He's so confident that what he thinks is what will happen. I've told him we must change the Theirin motto to: I think therefore it will be.'"

Loghain snorted. "Well, the Wardens are worthy sparring partners, I'll give them that, but their tales are the last thing Cailan needs. You should keep him away. More than half of them are Orlesian, almost none are Fereldan, and don't glare at me. They need to be watched. I know you claim Duncan is Fereldan and Rivaini, but I still don't trust him. Tell me, why does he seem to report to Orlais and not directly to Weisshaupt? Isn't Weisshaupt their headquarters? Each country's wardens are an independent organization aren't they? Why does Weisshaupt appear to consider the Fereldan wardens and extension of those of Orlais?"

Maric sighed. "You have a point. I have raised it with them. They're a very secretive Order. I can only say so much. Duncan is Warden Commander because he is Ferelden. Unfortunately, he has trouble disengaging from his former superiors in Orlais. He looks to them for guidance. Weisshaupt is far away. It's not perfect, but he is trying, Loghain. It will improve. I just need to keep working with him. Perhaps I should convince them to let you join some of our discussions as Fereldan's General."

"Would that help? Even if he cuts off ties with Orlais, he's just not a good leader. If it's so important to have Wardens, why aren't there more? And why aren't they Fereldan? And why won't he talk with me about coordinating these patrols he sends into the Wilds with the Royal Guard? The Wardens in Orlais are practically part of their military. It may be the only Orlesian custom we should imitate; and it's the only one he doesn't. We should join them, if only to insure we know what this Duncan is up to. Perhaps some coordination would spark interest in his Order. If there is a darkspawn threat, he certainly makes no effort to prepare for it."

"I agree. I've asked him why so few Fereldans. He claims Fereldans lack interest in the Order. He is reluctant to conscript. I can't disagree with that. I've tried to encourage the Bannorn to offer volunteers, but…he's right there's a lack of interest. It's not the honorable choice here, as it is in many other parts of Thedas. Fereldan third sons and daughters don't rush to join. It's a result of the two hundred year exile, of course. But think, the Chantry catches templars early, at fourteen or younger; the Wardens wait and giving up hearth, home, family, children – it's not appealing to eighteen and twenty year olds. Most of his 'volunteers' are criminals. The wardens or prison, that's an easy choice."

"Then let's do joint patrolling. What better way to get trained troops interested? And keep Cailan away. He'd be foolish enough to volunteer just to spite us in a fit of anger!"

Maric flinched at that suggestion, knowing it held a seed of truth. "As for Cailan, I've limited the time he can spend there. I spoke with Duncan and asked for fewer tales and more training. He'll just sneak out if I ban him from the Warden compound, completely. I've found he needs more careful handling. Nudges work better than direct orders. Fergus taught me that. He manages Cailan wonderfully."

Loghain raised an eyebrow. "Right, Fergus. Like father, like son? We're lucky to have Bryce. He manages us pretty well."

"Your words. I never managed you well. We settle our differences through argument I believe. At high volume. Rowan handled you far better than I do."

Loghain shook his head. "Rowan did everything far better than either of us. So you have guards with Cailan, can't they keep him away from the Warden Compound?"

Maric chuckled, "He'd just sneak off through a secret passage. There's probably one going directly to the Compound. Cailan knows every passage in this palace I think and he won't reveal most of them to anyone. He drives the Guard mad."

"Don't you know them?"

Maric eyes narrowed. "Not all of them. As you might recall, I didn't grow up here. I've used a few to escape your notice on occasion."

"So, rumors of your double drinking at the Sour Sojourner were true?" I know more of them then you think, Maric, but it seems we need do more to discover the rest. That one to the Warden's compound, for example.

Maric smirked. "I suppose you'll have to ask my double, should you find him. Not to change the subject, but…when is your next visit to Dragon's Peak?"

"I thought perhaps before Satinalia. Since you prodded Grand Cleric Elemena to encourage Revered Mother Hilda to agree to ease the restrictions further, we've been riding out. He's enjoyed it. I'm hoping for decent weather, so we can ride again." Loghain sat quietly for some time. "Perhaps you and Cailan could ride up to Dragon's Peak from the city. He'd enjoy seeing Cailan."

Maric stared into the fire for a long time. Finally, he replied, "No, let's leave it until I acknowledge him. If anyone finds out or sees us…it's not worth the problems it could cause. If Fergus were in town, he and Cailan…but he's not. I attract far too much attention."

The two men sat in companionable silence, sipping the brandy, for a long time.

"Tell him I will keep my promise, Loghain. Tell him I told you to tell him. He must wonder. I would."

9:25 Dragon Guardian === Dragon's Peak

"You've been very quiet, Alistair," Loghain said as they finished their supper at the Dragon's Rest.

Alistair had been staring into the fire, but turned to face the Teyrn. "Why do you visit me?"

Loghain thought for a moment. "I enjoy it. I enjoy your company. I love Anora, but I would have enjoyed having a son. You're as close to a son as I'll have. And, to be honest, guilt. I should have been able to think of a better way, a better place for you, but I couldn't. I want to make sure this is at least as good as it can be for you. In short, I care about you, I enjoy being with you and I want to keep you safe and content, if not happy."

"You don't visit because the king tells you to?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"A trick? No! Why?"

"Well, if Maric ordered me to visit every month, it would indicate to you that your father was interested in you, but that I may not care. If it's just me visiting, than maybe Maric doesn't care, even if I do."

"No. I mean, I'd like to think he cares, but it's pretty clear he doesn't. I gave up on that hope a long time ago. I just wondered why you visit and spend so much time with me. You could just get reports."

"Didn't I just answer that question?"

Alistair's head was bowed. He smiled and looked up through his eyelashes. He looked so much like Maric it took Loghain's breath away. "You like me. I…well I guess I wanted to hear that."

"He does ask me about you every time I visit, Alistair. I don't do this in secret. He and Cailan both ask about you. Lys isn't the only one who misses you. I wasn't joking when I said I provide detailed reports."

"Cailan does?"

"He and Maric have had some…discussions about you. Cailan would like his brother to join him."

Alistair smiled. "So would I." He frowned. "Isn't Cailan something like a son to you?"

"No. I wish he was, but, no. Cailan and I…we disagree a lot. I am, as perhaps you've noticed, very practical. I don't tolerate nonsense. Cailan…he's a bit spoiled. He looks for…not just the good, but the glory in every effort. He lacks substance, in my opinion. It's not all his fault. He was raised on stories and myths, instead of history and reality, but he's drawn to it as well."

"I like stories."

"Yes, but you see the truth in them. The pain, the horror, not just the victories and the glory. You made a comment about how you never want to fight a war, even though playing at it is fun. Cailan would only see the fun, the glory, and want to fight the real battle, not understanding the costs."

"But you're the Hero of River Dane and King Maric is the Savior. Isn't that glorious?"

"No! Think, Alistair. How many died to let us win the Rebellion? You know I hate the Hero title. Maric hates being called the Savior. We can't stop it, we can just…Maric says we should gracefully ignore it. That we need to allow the people to be grateful for our leadership, because we did lead Ferelden to victory. I say to the Void with it, but," he grinned. "I bow to my king."

"So Cailan and I wouldn't get along?"

"You would, Alistair. You might even help him see reality. Fergus does sometimes. He's good at nudging Cailan, not trying to lead him. I think you would be too. You're very good with people, Alistair. As is your father, except where Cailan is concerned. Maric would admit this. And Anora, well Cailan is no longer blindly obedient to my daughter's commands. He tends to react and do the opposite. Yet she continues to issue them." He snorted. "As do I, unfortunately, I can't seem to remember to nudge once faced with his recalcitrance."

"Thank you, Teyrn Loghain."

"For?"

"Answering my question. It was somewhat impudent."

Loghain laughed. "Alistair, ask me anything. Questions are good. I may not have the answer. Or I may not be able to answer. I promise, I will always be honest with you.

9:24 Dragon Haring === Castle Cousland, Highever

Lys strode away from the practice yard mumbling to herself. "Just once, I'd like to do something right. I have plenty of time to dress for supper. I don't need to be told to go to my room like a ten year old." She brushed angry tears from her cheeks.

"Da unhappy again?"

"Shut up, Fergus."

"Hey, I'm trying to be sympathetic here. I heard him. He's getting more unreasonable all the time. You should ask Mum to talk to him."

"I did. She has. You can see the result. I'm just a disappointment. I won't entertain suitors. I insist on training every day with the Arms Master. I go to Nevarra to learn to be a merchant banker. I'm just…I don't even know what I am any more, Fergus. Certainly not a Cousland." She sniffed. "I should go and live with Aunt Liv. That would solve everyone's problems. He can declare me dead."

"Lyssie!"

"What!" She sighed. "He didn't do this to you. I mean I know you had your moments, but he didn't criticize everything about you. I wear a dress Mum thinks is lovely and he tells me it's too elegant for me. Too elegant? So the dress is fine, I'm the problem?"

"He still thinks of you as a little girl. He's having a hard time seeing you grow up, Lys."

"Really? He treated me with less disdain when I was ten. He's more restrictive now than he's ever been. Fergus, yesterday he stopped me as I left to ride to Star Lake with Pippa. No reason, just no you can't go. You should have asked first. I've gone scores of times. I let Mum know I was going, but it was not good enough. I didn't tell him. I'm so tired of being unacceptable. I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning."

"You should tell him that – what you just told me. I don't think he realizes how hard he is on you."

She stared at him, brow furrowed. "He'd have to listen, Ferg. He doesn't listen to what I say anymore. I miss talking to him."

"Melysande Elayne!" Her father's angry voice carried across the baily.

She gave Fergus a desperate look as tears started to flow again. "I need to go." She took off at a run for her rooms.

Teyrn Bryce joined his son. "I told her to go get ready and she stops to chat with you."

"Da, I stopped her because she was crying. I wanted to make sure she was alright after your tongue lashing."

"Tongue lashing. It's a tongue lashing to tell her to go get ready for our guests?"

"Tongue lashing, Da. She's fourteen. She can manage her time. She has Kai now to help her dress. When was the last time she was late for anything? Or showed up in something inappropriate? She always looks lovely as far as I can tell. I'm no expert, but Oriana thinks so and she is. Mum too."

Bryce looked at his son. "She was crying?"

"She thinks you disapprove of everything she does. She feels unacceptable. You're too hard on her."

"Your mother says that as well."

"Then maybe you should listen. Oriana has said the same to me."

"She's still a child."

"No, Da, she's not. As she pointed out to me, you gave her more discretion over her own time when she was a child. Did you really tell her she couldn't ride to Star Lake with Pippa, Kai and Myfa ? A ride she's taken scores of times?"

"Her mother let me hear about that," Teyrn Bryce mumbled. "I don't know what gets into me, sometimes. I worry about her. I want her to be happy and I don't see that happening."

"Let her make her choices, Da. She cares about Alistair. It's not clear what King Maric will do. Let he follow her heart for a while. You let me."

"I know, but your suit in Antiva wasn't hopeless. This Alistair thing probably is."

"Let her learn that."

"When did you get so wise?"

"When I married Oriana," Fergus laughed. "She cares about Lys as she would a sister, Da."

Teyrn Bryce chuckled, "So, you're telling me we should listen to our wives?"

"Yep."

"Smart boy. I should know that by now."

"You need to talk to her, Da. Actually, you need to listen to her. She says you don't anymore."

"I suppose she's right. Maker, I still see her bouncing across the yard on Arrow her hair pulled back in that braid she always wore."

"She's a lovely young woman, Da. Try to see her as she is now."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Lys, can you join me in my study?"

She blanched.

"Nothing bad, Lys, I just want to talk with you."

"Right."

He stood in front of the small hearth opposite his worktable as Lys followed him into the study. She stood behind a chair, which flanked the hearth. Teyrn Bryce looked at her. Maker she thinks she needs to shield herself from me. He turned toward the fire; his back was to her as he spoke.

"I need to apologize to you. I've been unfair. I am extremely proud of you, Lys. Your dedication, persistence, compassion…I could go on, are amazing. I need to understand that you've grown up and treat you as a young woman should be treated. I'm sorry, I haven't done so lately."

"Papa…I try to please you."

He turned to face her. "Lyssie, you always please me, I just don't want my little girl to grow up."

She brushed away a tear. "I'll always be your little girl, Papa. I just need to be an older little girl." She chuckled. "Did that even make sense?"

He walked over and drew her into an embrace. "Perfect sense, sweetheart." He stepped back and put his finger under her chin raising her head to face him. "Lys, I may not always agree with you, but I promise to listen to what you have to say and think about your argument. I haven't done that. Your Mum keeps pointing that out to me, and Fergus did today as well. I'm sorry."

"That's all I ask, Papa. You always used to listen to me. I miss talking to you."

"I miss you too, sweetling." He kissed her brow. "Let's try to do better. I'll try to do better. I'm not sure you've done anything to create this problem."

"I grew up."

"Yes, well that happens Lys, I shouldn't punish you for that."

"So I can keep to my plans with Cousin Samuel?"

"You can. Working for House Haris isn't what I hoped for you, but if it's what you want. I hope you will find someone to care about, Lys. Someone who will love you. Either Alistair or someone else, but regardless, you will still be Bann of Long's Reach and you can serve Highever and Ferelden by working with Cousin Samuel, as you mother has."

She smiled. "Good. I want to be useful, Papa, like Mum and Aunt Alys are." She hugged him, arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"I missed your hugs, Papa."

"And I missed yours, pup."

Lys wrinkled her nose, "So, if we make up will you call me pup again?"

Bryce laughed, "It seems it's the only reminder of your childhood I'll get, so yes, but I'll try to keep it our private pet name."

"I suppose I can tolerate that," Lys laughed, "but only if I get to wear that dress you termed too 'elegant'. I think I'm old enough to be elegant."

Bryce laughed. "Maker, you negotiate better than your mother. Yes, you can wear the dress for Firstday. I think my grown up daughter should look elegant, just like her mother, but I'll still call you pup."

"Then I demand the second dance with you, Papa, after you dance with Mum."

"Done."

Lys and Bryce left the study and walked toward the solar arm in arm. Lys feeling better about her life than she had in quite some time.

9:25 Dragon Drakonis === Gwaren House, Denerim

"Anora? I didn't expect to see you here for dinner tonight. Do you plan to stay?"

"I wanted to check on the gardens, father. You always forget. I thought I'd have dinner with you; then see the head gardener in the morning."

"Is something happening at the palace you want to avoid?"

"No. Nothing is happening at the palace. King Maric, as you well know, is away. Cailan keeps busy with his other interests."

"Other interests?"

"He's out with Vaughan Kendalls and Thomas Howe some nights. Tonight, he's out with Bann Teagan."

"I didn't know Teagan was in town."

"He never left. He's been here since the Landsmeet. Well, in the area. Cailan said he stayed with Bann Sighard at Dragon's Peak for a week. He and Cailan are discussing the royal stable and kennel. Teagan believes they need some improvement. He does have fine stables at Rainesfere. Kennels too, according to Cailan. Next thing I know, Cailan will have a mabari." She smiled. "I shouldn't complain. Teagan is a much better influence than Howe and Kendalls."

Loghain raised an eyebrow.

"With them he just comes in drunk every night."

"Well, I hope that's all. Those two have quite a nasty reputation."

"I've heard a few things. I don't think Cailan really likes them, they're just the only ones around. I suspect King Maric asked Teagan to stay." She gave her father a quizzical look. "Did he?"

Loghain threw up his hands, "Anora, I don't know. It sounds like something Maric would do. Cailan gets along with Teagan."

"Father, I care about him, you know. I think he cares about me, but sometimes he seems so young. Was Maric that way?"

"No, no not even at eighteen. Maric was naïve, too trusting, too fearful of doing the hard thing, but no, he never sought glory or believed he was the hero in a story. Chattered enough to drown out thought on occasion, but Maric was never completely foolish. He had a hard childhood, though; it tempers one. We both saw our mothers cut down in front of us. He never knew his father. I saw mine die defending us. These are things I would never wish on you or Cailan, but they do toughen you. You know that. Cailan barely remembers Rowan, but you suffered through Celia's illness and death. It made you stronger."

Anora walked over to the window overlooking the gardens. "She loved you, you know."

"And I loved her, Anora. We just lost our way after the babe's stillbirth. You must remember some good times before that. You were six when it happened."

"I remember. I didn't understand why it changed everything. Just that it did."

"You mother never really recovered. She thought she failed me, not giving me a son. I could never convince her you and she were more than enough."

Anora turned to stare at him, "Were we really?"

Loghain crossed the room in four strides and put his arms around Anora. "Always, enough. Celia just couldn't believe it."

Anora buried her head in his shoulder. "I was never sure."

"Be sure, Anora. I loved your mother and I love you. If we had had a son, we all would have loved him, but we didn't. It saddened me, but I never blamed your mother. She did that to herself."

He stepped back, tipping her face up to look at him.

"Anora, I tried to convince your mother to come to Denerim. Eleanor wrote and invited her to stay at Highever House. Celia feared leaving Gwaren. Her strength lay in her love of her home. She thought being Teyrna of Gwaren meant staying in Gwaren. My love, after you and Celia, was and is Ferelden. You mother couldn't understand that. Or the bond I have with Maric."

"I don't understand the bond you have with Maric." She smiled ruefully. "I know you share the war and the rebellion, but it's more than that."

"I suppose. We were young when we met. And yes, we shared the war. He's like a brother to me. It's that deep. Bryce Cousland is a friend. Maric, Maker, if Maric he wanted to conquer the Void, I would lead the charge, Anora."

Anora stepped back, then turned to look out the window again. Two elves turned over the soil in a bed as she watched, the wind blowing a few leaves and swirling them along a graveled path. Lilacs bloomed along the wall. Peonies stood a few feet tall with buds still tight. Tulips, bordering the path, bobbed in the wind. Two apple trees in the corners of the garden shed blossoms, which covered the ground beneath like snow. Spring in Ferelden, the most ephemeral of seasons. One afternoon storm off the Amaranthine Ocean and the beauty dissipates with the wind.

"That's hard to compete with father."

"Does it have to be a competition? I'm afraid that's how your mother saw it too."

"No, I suppose not."

Loghain put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned into him a bit. "Eleanor Cousland once told me that love is not limited. There is always more. It's a self-replenishing pool."

Anora smiled. "That sounds like Eleanor."

"I'm glad you let her befriend you. I wish Celia had as well."

"I agree, Father. I think mother would have liked her. Maybe she would have convinced mother to have a mage healer."

"Yes, well, Celia had strong beliefs."

"I know you tried, father. Eleanor told me Mother refused her offer of Nyla's services."

"I didn't know you knew that. I'm glad you do, although it did no good."

They walked into the small dining room and seated themselves at the table.

"I heard that conversation. You offered to bring the Cousland's healer to Gwaren. She said no. Could the mage healer have saved her?"

"We'll never know, Anora. I believed there was a chance. Eleanor had several miscarriages you know, before Lys was born. The babes died, but she did not."

"I should remember that. I think I'll want a court mage healer."

"Not a bad thought."

"I should begin to prepare the Chantry now. Perhaps I'll speak to Eleanor and her healer when we go to Highever."

Loghain looked confused. "When are we going to Highever?"

"For Summerday. Ah, didn't King Maric tell you. We're all going for Summerday this year."

"Good. Perhaps you'll give Lys a chance to show you some of her favorite places."

"Father, I will have plenty to keep me busy with Eleanor and Oriana. I won't need to play with a child."

"She's fifteen, Anora, a young woman. You might enjoy her company if you would give her a chance." He held up both hands. "I'll say no more. Let's agree to disagree."

Anora sipped her wine. "We'll see father. She does present herself well when her mother holds salons and teas here in Denerim. And Eleanor says she has an interest in gardens and plants." She shook her head, as if to clear it, and frowned. "Now, about the gardens…."


A/N: Thank you for reading. Please review, favorite, subscribe and/or follow. As a new author, I welcome encouragement, suggestions and critiques.

Huge thanks to Kira Tamarion for her beta efforts. She provides encouragement and insightful comments every week. None of the errors are hers – they are all mine. I'll add, if you haven't read Kira's stories, you should.

I'd also like to thank the group of amazing writers who have reviewed Bright Shining Moments. It's humbling and exciting to have authors, whose wonderful stories I've followed and loved, think my tale is worth a read. If you haven't read their stories, I strongly recommend that you do. They each provide a different viewpoint and emphasis, but they all tell beautiful tales of Thedas and the Dragon Age characters we love.

Thanks to all who Favorited, Followedand those who Reviewed this week: Arsinoe de Blassenville, clafount, KatDancer2, maradeux, EasternViolet and SnowHelm (who complimented me with a marathon read of Lys and Ali's story). Thanks for the continuing thoughtful feedback. It helps me keep going, knowing others enjoy Lys, Alistair, Loghain, Anora and the company too.

There are appendices with background assumptions on timeline, character ages, calendar, fest days, travel distances, etc. in AO3. If such things interest you, please go to Archive of Our Own series, I Shall Endure (remove spaces and copy): archive of our /works/692656/chapters/1273563