The sound of gunshots made Jen smile. She was at the practice range with some of the other officers. Nothing relieved tension more than firing off a few rounds and getting in some good shots. She'd rarely had cause to use a firearm with the State Police, but being SIS tended to have much more dangerous operations. Gun safety and skill were much higher priorities for her now. And through diligent work, Jen had become one of the best marksmen in the whole Sydney branch.
"Good lord, look at you! We should start selling tickets to your practice!"
Jen turned to grin proudly at Kira, her fellow officer. "Oh I dunno about that, but it does feel good to be good at something," Jen replied modestly.
Matt came over to join the pair. He heard what Jen said and nudged her in the ribs playfully. "You're good at everything, Jen."
There was simply no response to that, so Jen just kept smiling.
The agents locked their guns back up and left the range to go meet Kira's boyfriend, Steve. He was an analyst in their office and the group had become fast friends thanks to working so closely all together. They would go out for a few drinks and a bite to eat about once a week. Just a bit of harmless fun. That was what Jen had in mind, anyway.
They were interrupted as they walked down the street and heard a mighty shriek. "JENNIFER MAPPLETHORPE!"
Jen whirled around and saw a woman marching toward her, a woman Jen honestly never thought she'd see again. "You lot go ahead, I've got to…"
"You want some help?" Kira offered.
"No, it's fine. I'll handle it," Jen insisted.
"I don't think I should leave you here, Jen," Matt said with worry. He put a protective hand on Jen's shoulder which did actually succeed in making her feel a bit safer.
She gave him a soft smile. "I promise, I'm fine."
Matt nodded and went to catch up with Kira.
Thankfully, they'd had left the vicinity by the time the woman crossed the street and reached where Jennifer was waiting.
"Hello, Tara."
The younger woman stormed up and snarled, "You've got some bloody nerve going about with some other guy like nothing's happened. After what you did to Nick? Have you got no heart at all!?"
Jen immediately felt like she was going to vomit. The last thing she expected wandering around her neighborhood was running into her ex-sister-in-law. "What are you doing here, Tara?" she asked, ignoring the rude accusations.
"My boyfriend lives on that block. What are you doing here?" Tara asked her angrily.
"I live a few streets over," Jen admitted.
Tara stared at her in slight shock, her angry tirade ending for the moment. "You've been here all this time?"
"Six months in Canberra, then here, yeah."
"He's visited me. Twice, since you left him."
"I didn't leave him," Jen snapped, arguing through the ice running through her veins. "I work here. My life is here. And his life is there. And that's alright, honestly. He's doing exactly what he should be doing on Homicide, and I'm happy for him."
Tara scoffed, "I'm glad you're happy for him, but he's been miserable since the day you left him."
"I didn't leave him!"
"That's not what your divorce papers said," Tara fired back.
Jen frowned. "How do you know that?"
"We talked about it. At his birthday."
The nauseous feeling tripled as Jen suddenly realized that she'd not remembered Nick's birthday for the first time in her entire life. It had just been a few weeks earlier. Not that she would have sent a gift or card or anything to her ex-husband, but to think that she'd not given a single thought to it…
Jen could feel Tara watching her as she tried her best not to cry. She kept her eyes on the pavement under her feet. Tara didn't say anything. She'd always been the slightly more pensive of Nick's twin sisters. Jill was always the louder one, though both girls had been quite catty when they were younger. Living on her own, Tara seemed to have figured out the power of observation.
"How…how is he?" Jen finally asked.
"Divorced. Miserable. I dunno what you expected."
The vitriol of Tara's tone was quite shocking, and it shook Jen out of her nauseous shame and into indignant anger. "Do you have any idea what it was like? To go somewhere all on my own, to be without him for the first time in my entire life and then not be able to share it with him? I signed the Official Secrets Act, Tara. I couldn't tell him anything. Not where I was, not what I was doing, nothing! Don't you think I would have loved nothing more than to have him come visit me? Don't you think I wish I'd known he was here visiting you? But being apart broke us utterly and completely. We didn't have anything remotely resembling a marriage anymore, and that wasn't fair to either of us. I've got my life now, and he's got his."
"Nick loves you more than anything, Jen, and you've been so selfish."
"He was the one who told me to go! I would have never even applied if he hadn't pushed me to. You think I wanted to leave him behind? I didn't want to go! Nick practically packed my bag for me and pushed me out the door," Jen defended. She had never said that out loud to anyone before. She'd never admitted the pressure she felt to join SIS in spite of her misgivings.
"Well I think that's because all he's wanted to so since he was seven years old was make sure you're happy," Tara said quietly.
Jen's voice cracked as she felt the last of the floodgates open in her walled-up heart. "He wanted me to go, and he let me go. He never even tried to get me to come home. Didn't even try to fight the divorce. Just signed the papers."
"He assumed that's what you wanted, why you sent the papers to him."
"But he didn't even ask. He didn't call or anything."
"You didn't call him either." Tara shrugged and shook her head. "What's done is done. It's all over now. So I guess this didn't matter."
Jen wiped her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Guess so."
Despite their heated words a moment before, Tara gave Jen a tight hug. "Sorry I attacked you like that. I'll smile the next time I see you on the street."
"I'd like that," Jen replied softly.
Tara sighed. "You know, you were a good sister there for a while."
"So were you."
She smiled. "Go catch up with your mates. I'll see you around, Jen."
"See you, Tara."
Jennifer watched Nick's baby sister walk down the street and shook herself a bit. Time to go have fun. Salvage the evening as best she could and not let that encounter bother her until late at night when every word would surely play back in her mind. She hurried to the pub down the road where she knew Kira, Steve, and Matt were waiting, likely with more of their crew as well.
Matt had been watching the door for Jen to arrive, and he immediately got up to greet her. "Hey, everything alright? Who was that lunatic?"
Jen allowed him to put his arm around her comfortingly. "Just someone from my old life. We had some words. It's fine." She looked up at him and forced herself to smile. "What are we drinking?"
The pair went to the bar and Matt ordered for her. While they were waiting, away from their crowd of friends, Matt studied Jennifer's face.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"Because you're really pretty and I like to look at you."
Jen felt herself blush. "You're sweet."
"Hey Jen?"
"Yeah?"
"Could I take you out sometime? To dinner or something?"
A violent wave of nausea passed through Jen's body—likely residue of her very uncomfortable confrontation with Tara Buchanan—followed very quickly with a bloom of happy warmth. This was the first time a man had asked her on a date since she was fifteen years old. And with her whole body vibrating with a very strange sort of adrenaline, Jen replied, "Yeah, that would be really nice."
