He smoothed her hair out as the tear drops pelted the sheets. He had had to hide while the nurse checked on her, while Evangeline hid her tears and falsified calmness; but now he felt safe enough to sit unprotected next to her on the bed. He combed at the red swirls to distract her, to distract himself from her pain.
"What happened? What happened my dove?" He pressed, Evangeline far to breathless and terrified to explain, her chest rising and falling with her silent sobs. Did she always mourn this way, so quietly so that the world could never see?
He ignored her lack of an answer and swallowed her body into his arms, her knees folded to her chest so that she was compact and little in his arms, her thin shoulders poking him slightly.
"Please" She gasped, a new wave of tears pouring down from her eyes. "Please don't leave me. This dream was so real, so much like when it happened. What if it's all truth?" She wasn't making any sense to Erik, but he humored her and avoided the topic of her horrors any further. "Yes, I will stay. I will be here the whole night until dawn." She shook in his grip, and he lifted her back and legs in his hold, walking towards the bed.
Her gown rolled down her body stiffly, it was made of cotton and clearly a hand-me down. She would undoubtedly be cold. He kissed her head as he lowered her into the covers, and blanketed her with the thick quilt, laying on top of the blanket besides her once she was secured.
"You'll get cold, it's okay" She mumbled through her whimpers, beckoning he join her.
"No it's not." He responded icily.
She stared up at him, alarmed. "What do you mean?" His black hair fell in wild strands around his clouded gray eyes.
"What I've done to you isn't right, Evangeline." What? Her heart thrummed in further distress, and she hid the pain as best she could.
"You are unwed, and the world won't see past that." She shook her head, "But, it doesn't matter what they think, you are the only one that matters-"
He shook a bit frustrated and indeed, cold. "But it does Evangeline."
She herself grew slightly mad. "No, no it doesn't, they have never cared about me before-" His voice rose, clearly showing his madness "What am I to do?! Am I to lock you away? Am I to keep you trapped underground to resent me?!" He was shaking from his own rage, and she was cowering under her sheets.
He rose from his place besides her to pace,his hair bristling savagely, animalisticly. "I can't marry someone when I don't even exist!"
He had realized this as he left her earlier, as he left the woman that he loved to plot her own beloved brother's murder, that idea of freedom that would cost her so dearly.
He could only condemn her to one of two lives, she and the child, the first, being of course a life on the run; as he was hunted ever since his murders at the opera house; how he could ever think killing the DeChagny boy would give them anything besides short lived relief was foolish. The second, a life hidden In darkness, a life of bitter cruelty and silence, how their son or daughter would never hold any sense of society, and how no one would marry them on the basis of that alone, that is excusing the idea that, god forbid the infant resembles him.
But there was a third life for her as well.
He could leave her, how it would break her heart, how it would break his; yet he could leave her and be the enemy of the state. The man who had raped the innocent and pure DeChagny cousin. She would have their son or daughter, and though it would be a bastard child; it would grow up and be raised into society better than any child owned by Erik.
She would live in luxury, and be content and happy with her friends; perhaps she would marry. He would make sure she was happy; he would make sure of it.
How could he give her anything but that? Luxury, contented, happy; how could he give her anything like that?
He was furious to lose her; but he knew he must. He knew that his anger would turn into sorrow; he knew that her own sorrow would be gone soon enough, and she would love someone else; one of the many other men who are bound to fall for her green eyes as he was guilty of.
He was guilty of so many things the world could never know.
"I can't hide you my dove, I can't trap another flower in the dark. I can't marry you."
It had never crossed her thoughts that they would never marry. She had never thought of it; how foolish she was. She was so allured by his voice, his mind.
"No."
He couldn't say he was shocked at first by her defiant words, but he would be.
"You are selfish if you think you do not have to marry me Erik, you are utterly selfish!" He had never seen her angry before, and felt shame for having inflicted the emotion upon her.
"Can you not tell already that I want to be hidden from the world? Have you never picked up on that? All the world has ever given me were scars, and fear and hatred. Do you think because your scars are on your face that mine are less painful?"
He gaped at her, his heart thrumming.
"No, that is what you think. That because the world can't see mine I can function in it, that I can forget how horrible they have all been to me. Look at me Erik!" She screamed, her tiny body shaking.
She waved the backs of her hands in the air for him to see, tiny silver scars he had never noticed before traced up and down them. "This is from my teachers, for mumbling". She lifted her chin, tracing a ridged sliver of flesh just underneath of it, "This is from my class-mates for speaking up". She pulled up her feet, revealing cut marks and a slightly crooked and abnormal once-broken toes. "This is from my 'father' for not being his" The image of her infant toes being crushed raised the hairs on Erik's arms. She tore at her skirts, ripping them down, tearing her garments off until only thin fabric lay between her naked body and the frosty air. She walked towards him, pulling his limp hand to her abdomen to trace each lumpy mutilation, "This is from my employer, for not letting him rape me." Tears spilled down from his ice colored eyes and he looked ashamedly at the floor. She smoothed his fingers out, letting only a flat hand remain for her instruction. She smoothed it over her womb, allowing his palm to adjust and caress their child. "This is from you." He sobbed, and swallowed her in his arms.
He gasped as the tears rolled from both of their eyes. "Can I condemn you both to live in darkness?" She nestled her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat.
"The world is dark, and blind. To live with you is to live in light" She whispered, and he responded.
"Then I will never let the darkness touch you." He kissed her, and the world melted away.
It intruded soon enough as the door to her room opened, and Raoul walked in and shouted.
Temporary relief was better than no relief, Erik thought as he turned towards his prey to protect his love. A familiar braid of rope slipped from his waist to his hands.
