Author's Note: Sorry for the slow update. Stuff happened, Jackie went to the CNE (I was very jealous). Anyway, here you go.
I knew what I had to do; I just wasn't sure how to do it. My brain was so clogged up lately and it was virtually impossible to concentrate on anything. Knowing the state of things, my family was kind enough to come down to Vancouver for Christmas. Unfortunately, I spent most of my time in the hospital pacing in the waiting room. After a short, quiet Christmas dinner, I forced myself over to the dreaded hospital one last time before I called it a night.
"You sure you can't stay for pumpkin pie?" my mom asked with heartbreaking eyes. "It's your favourite."
I felt like crying. "I can't, I need to see Josh once more. Save me a slice?"
"Of course." My mom gave me a warm smile.
I headed out the door and was hit by the overwhelmingly cold air. I shoved my hands in my pockets and practically sprinted to the hospital. As I walked through the parking lot, I noticed Lily's car.
Fuck.
I took a moment to think before I came to a decision.
"It's now or never, Ian," I said to myself.
I made my way over the entrance, silently rehearsing my apology to her. If she was in a decent mood, this might actually work.
As I approached Josh's room, I heard two faint female voices emerging on the other side of the door. Without thinking, I peeked through the small window on the wooden door to see who they were. Beside Josh's bed, I recognized Lily immediately. She was facing a familiar, beautiful girl with ridiculously long hair.
Alexa.
I wasn't quite sure what I had against Alexa, considering I've never had a conversation with the girl. It's just—there was something about her. She seemed like someone I couldn't trust. And considering the way Josh was ogling her the other day, it definitely didn't seem like she and him were just friends. This subconsciously led me to the conclusion that Josh must've cheated on Amanda with her which caused them to break up. I know Josh couldn't have started his heroin addiction because of the break up; but I was sure it certainly didn't help.
I quickly pressed my ear against the door and carefully listened in to what they were saying. Thankfully, I was able to recognize Lily's voice without question.
"Okay then why did you tell me to fuck off yesterday?" I heard Alexa yell.
"Because you ruined everything!" Lily screamed back.
"How did I ruin everything?" Alexa said more calmly.
"You're the reason all of this is happening!" Lily continued yelling. "You just told me that you knew Josh was addicted this whole time but you never told a soul!"
Alexa knew this whole fucking time? I wanted to barge right into Josh's room after hearing this, but decided against it. I had to keep listening.
"Oh come on!" Alexa replied. "As if you didn't know!"
"I DIDN'T!" shouted Lily.
"Bull," Alexa muttered under her breath.
"YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE," Lily screeched, "AND WHAT'S WORSE, YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A BRILLIANT IDEA TO SLEEP WITH HIM, DIDN'T YOU?"
"I didn't sleep with him," Alexa responded with an icy tone, "We made out. Big fucking whoop."
"You still made him cheat on his girlfriend," Lily responded.
"I didn't makehim do anything," Alexa retorted. "Besides, at least I wasn't fucking the drummer this whole time."
"I wasn't fucking him," Lily said quickly. "And what does Ian have to do with anything?"
"You remained completely oblivious to everything going on with Josh." I heard Alexa walk across the room.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP," Lily screamed. "IT WAS YOUWHO KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME!"
"SO?" Alexa yelled back. "AT LEAST I WAS TRYING TO HELP HIM!"
"WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?"
"BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T'VE DONE SHIT!"
"HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?"
"BECAUSE YOU DID SHIT THE FIRST TIME AROUND!"
"Shut the fuck up," Lily said coldly, "What do youknow about what happened when he was sixteen?"
"Oh trust me, I know enough," Alexa responded. "Took you all two fucking years before you realized something was wrong with him."
There was a long, painful pause following Alexa's rude remark.
"Fuck you," Lily shot as I heard her walk across the room and open the door.
I jumped back immediately and pressed myself against the wall in hopes she wouldn't see me. Unfortunately for me, it didn't work out too well.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Lily turned to me, tears running down her face.
"I—uhhh—" I scrambled for the right words.
"You—uhhh—" she mocked me. "You were spying on me?"
"No!" I yelled louder than expected, "I—I came to apologize."
"Well apology not accepted," she said as she stormed away.
My instincts took the best of me and I chased after her. "Lily!"
She kept walking.
"Lily, wait!"
She made her way to the parking lot.
"Lily, seriously! Wait!" I shouted.
She finally turned around.
"I honestly didn't mean to get so angry," I spat out every nice word I could find in my muddled mind. "You mean everything to me and I don't want to lose you!"
"J-Just—" she stuttered as I remained on edge for her next word. "Just leave me alone," she spat as she walked away in tears.
I wanted to chase after her, I really did. But my feet wouldn't budge. I couldn't tell if it was the fact that Josh was still inside, or maybe it was that I didn't want to chase after her. Whatever the answer was didn't change the fact that I began to cry. Normally, tears don't come easily for a guy like me. But there I sat: bunched up in a ridiculous fetal position against the outside walls of the stupid hospital, bawling my fucking eyes out.
