Chapter Twenty Eight

Bella

I was thirsty, dirty, and I couldn't face any more eggs which was just as well as the chickens, scared by the fires roar, had stopped laying.

"I'll kill you one if you like, we could roast it"

I shook my head at Edwards suggestion, I couldn't bear the thought of killing one of the chickens I'd spoken to each time I collected the eggs. Besides the water was low too and I was always thirsty. Edward and Esme tried to keep me occupied with music and card games but I really couldn't think of anything except the still figure, surrounded by orange flame, watching the ranch. Alice tried to apologise but I wasn't interested, as far as I was concerned she was as sick as Carlisle or Samuel and the fact she'd changed her mind and tried to save me didn't alter that. She was as responsible for Jasper's torture as either of the others. She knew and she should have spoken to Jasper and Edward. Maybe then Carlisle wouldn't have decided to play God with Jasper and myself.

I sat on the porch watching the flames knowing that he too was watching from the other side, I could feel his presence. Alice came and sat beside me,

"Charlotte and Garrett have some friends coming to help."

I ignored her but I knew she wasn't just going to leave.

"Bella I'm truly sorry. I didn't see Carlisle's plan until it was too late. I was preoccupied."

I turned to look at her stonily,

"I know, remember"

"Look I didn't hurt either of you and I'm trying to make things right. I saved Emmett and you."

"And I'm supposed to be grateful for that? We shouldn't be in any danger and he shouldn't be standing there waiting to rip my head off or drink my blood the moment the flames die. Just go away Alice you sicken me"

She peered into my face and then shrugged,

"You're tired and thirsty, you'll feel better once we get you out of here and to safety."

"Oh really? And just where is safety Alice? Forks? Florida? Colorado? Oh no I forgot, he followed us to those places so where? India? Antarctica? The moon?"

"Bella now you're getting hysterical. You need to calm down."

"No Alice what I need is my life back, the way it used to be before I met you and your crazy father. Now if you insist on staying here, I'm leaving."

I got up and walked inside smiling at Esme's concerned question and going upstairs to hide in the bathroom, it was the one place I could get some peace but even that wasn't to be. Peter came out as I went to go in.

"Oh, you"

"Sorry have you finished?"

"Go ahead. Enjoy what might be your last day alive. I've been watching my friend pace around like a caged fucking lion and knowing as soon as he can he'll be here ready to kill us all to get to you. We all have a huge fucking target painted on us while you're here and guess what? I can't get shot of you so I wait and worry."

"I'm sorry but it's not my fault."

"Sure, it's no one's fault. Just get the fuck out of my way before I forget were supposed to be protecting you and throw you to him through the fucking flames"

He pushed past me and ran down the stairs while I went in locking the door and slumped to the floor hot tears running down my cheeks. The roar of the flames could still be heard and when I went to shut the window I saw him still standing there patiently, like a statue and I shut the window sitting on the edge of the tub and putting my head in my hands. All this for a kiss? It didn't seem possible but maybe that's what happened when you stole a vampire's heart.

Esme

Of course I'd heard what Bella said to Alice and I agreed with her, my "daughter" didn't seem to have any understanding of what she'd done to Bella. As far as she was concerned Bella hadn't died so she should put it all behind her and pretend nothing had happened. Deciding it was time someone put her straight I watched as Bella ran upstairs then went out onto the porch. Alice sat there looking almost annoyed until she saw me when she smiled and patted the seat by her side,

"Esme, thank goodness there's one person who doesn't blame me."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that Alice if I were you"

She looked at me startled,

"Now what did I do? I try apologising to Bella but she just doesn't get it. I didn't do any real harm to her, I just wanted her to feel some of my pain that's all. She did steal my man after all."

"No, she didn't Alice and that's your first lie. Bella felt guilty at that kiss and she moved away, she never pursued Jasper. No one stole him away, it was inevitable once he recognised Bella for what she was that he would never be yours."

"That's not the point. If she hadn't got herself in trouble with James none of it would have happened."

"Lies two and three. We put Bella in danger by inviting her to the baseball game, by befriending her and it would most definitely have happened. Bella is Jaspers mate and he was always going to discover that, whatever either of them did. So just stop lying to yourself Alice. What you did to Bella is unforgivable, by her and by me."

"You? Why can't you forgive me? I'm not the one who sent Jasper to Samuel, that was Carlisle."

"But you knew long before you told me that something was going on. You should have come clean and warned Emmett and the rest of the family. Keeping Bella safe doesn't make what you did right Alice and I'm ashamed of you. If she or Jasper die it will be on your head and trust me, I wont be the only one looking for a little revenge."

Alice got up, her face tight with annoyance,

"I don't know why I bothered warning any of you. I should have sat back and watched Jasper kill Emmett, Carlisle, and Bella, for all the gratitude anyone is showing me."

"So why didn't you? Guilt perhaps. What I'd like to know is what you see ahead Alice, do I lose any more of my family? What did happen to Carlisle? What are you still hiding?"

I turned quickly as I heard Edwards voice at my back,

"Nothing. She isn't hiding anything because she can't see what's going to happen can you dear sister?"

Alice scowled at her brother,

"Keep out of my head Edward."

"Is that true Alice?"

She didn't answer me, just stood looking out across the meadow to the flames, so I asked again louder this time.

"Is that true Alice?"

"Yes"

She sounded like a petulant child now and I was more annoyed with her than ever,

"I think if Peter manages to pull this off it would be wise for you to leave, unless that is you want to hang around until either they bring Jasper back or Peter finds out what you were a party to."

"If I go will you go with me?"

Edward looked at me as if unsure of my reply but personally I was amazed she would even ask,

"No Alice. I'm staying. Bella needs someone and even more so if anything happens to Jasper. Thinking about it, if anything happens to either of them or Emmett I might come looking for you myself."

I know I shocked both of them with that statement, quiet, loyal, understanding Esme turning into an avenger but I'd had enough. This was my family under threat and I would be there for those who needed me most. I had another reason for staying but that reason was my secret for now. The guilt at being the one who had set this whole nightmare in action was mine. Jasper came to me in confidence and I took what he'd said straight back to Carlisle although I never for one moment imagined in my wildest dreams that he would react the way he had. Edward had always been his favourite but to subject Jasper to the horrors he had for nothing more than a delusional idea of revenge made me feel quite sick. No one had asked how Carlisle knew of what had happened between Bella and Edward, I think most thought Alice was the culprit there. If anyone died the blame would be mine and I wasn't sure I could live with that but for now I would hope, pray, and help all I could.

Alice went inside still, I think, unable to believe what I'd said but Edward came to sit beside me and took my hand.

"Esme, I am very sorry about Carlisle, his death,if he is really dead, and the deed that led to it. I promise you I wasn't involved in any way."

"I know Edward. I was quite proud of the way you stepped up to help Bella when you knew she was in danger. It shows your strength of character."

"Thank you..."

He hesitated so I waited, he had more to say.

"I'm not sure you are going to understand this but when Alice leaves I will go with her. I still love Bella, I always will, but I know I lost her and I can't stay and see her with my brother. I don't condone what Alice did or failed to do but she's my sister and I love her too."

"I understand Edward but be careful, Alice's only concern is her own welfare, she has a very warped idea of justice and loyalty."

"I will, I know her, she'd never cope alone. I just hope everything turns out OK for Bella and Jazz and you find out what happened to Carlisle."

"Thank you Edward but at this moment in time I don't really care what happened to him. Whatever it was it wont be harsh enough punishment for what he did."