A/N: After this… five more plus the epilogue. I know for many of you it's sad that it's ending and I feel the same way but I hope you enjoy how I conclude this epic (and long) story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, anything mentioned, any songs, quotes, or books used.
Chapter 28: Been Dreaming Of
"This kind of love you cannot hold, this kind of love, it has no shame. This kind
of love is never old, this kind of love you cannot hold, this kind of love you
cannot tame. This kind of love is without blame."
-Bill Miller "This Kind of Love" lyrics
/
Rachel sat comfortably in the middle seat on the plane. Noah had requested the window seat and she was very happy to oblige her baby boy. Quinn leaned over and rubbed Rachel's belly, smiling like a fool; this action caused Rachel to look up at her. She was also smiling like a fool.
"Hello, little one," she continued to rub the belly and looked briefly up at her wife once more before directing her attention back to Rachel's belly. "You're going to love your grandmother and grandfathers." Rachel couldn't contain her glee as she watched Quinn talk to her belly. She knew that Quinn was still worried about her since she had gotten so upset when they weren't pregnant after their first try. But Quinn was right… it worked the second time.
Rachel smiled in reflection as she remembered the day with great pride and happiness.
[FLASHBACK]
It had been the same as the month before; except this time when Rachel and Quinn were seated in the bathroom Quinn was the one sitting and Rachel was the one standing.
Pacing in fact.
The excitement was palpable but so was the dread. Quinn was worried it hadn't worked again; but she was mostly worried for Rachel. She remembered back to how she felt when she didn't get pregnant on their first try; she completely understood how Rachel was feeling. But then she remembered that the next time they tried she did get pregnant and she remembered all the joy that came with that feeling. It was those memories that outweighed the dread. And she wanted that for Rachel.
She knew deep in her heart that if it didn't work this time, it would the next time or the time after that but she also knew that there was no convincing Rachel and she knew that because she had been in Rachel's shoes; she knew what her wife was putting herself through.
She wanted it to have worked this time; she wanted to see her wife become filled with joy rather than fall apart at the seams. She didn't want to see Rachel blame herself again.
Meanwhile, Rachel was lost in her head. All she could think about as she paced the length of the bathroom over and over was how upset and broken she would be if it didn't work again. It was those thoughts that caused her to start panicking and second guessing herself.
Maybe it was too soon, maybe she wasn't as ready as she thought she was, and maybe this was her body's way… the universes way, of telling her that she wasn't ready for this.
When the timer went off, both girls snapped out of their thoughts and back into reality.
"Quinn," Rachel said nervously.
"It's okay baby," she got to her feet and approached her wife, who had stopped pacing and was standing in front of the sink, where the pregnancy test was sitting. "Whatever happens we will handle it," Rachel nodded and swallowed audibly. Quinn sucked in a breath as Rachel looked down at the stick and then reached for it.
Again she watched as Rachel's eyes filled with tears, and again those crying eyes landed on her. Quinn prepared herself to do and say whatever needed to be done and said to comfort her, to encourage her that it would definitely work the next time; but then Rachel spoke and changed everything.
"It's positive," she husked through her happy tears.
"Huh?" Was all Quinn could say, but then Rachel's beaming smile snapped her out of her mild confusion.
"We're pregnant babe," Rachel continued happily and then Rachel squealed when Quinn pulled her into a tight hug. She could tell that Quinn was crying as well. And there was no greater feeling in the world.
They both stood there, in their bathroom, holding each other tight, and crying with joy as the realization that everything they've been dreaming of fully set in.
[END FLASHBACK]
That was eleven weeks ago.
And now they were on their way home to Lima; for Thanksgiving… and to share the news with their family and friends.
"Mama high," Noah said to Quinn as he pointed out the window.
"Yeah sweetie… we're very, very high," she could see his bright smile that was so much like her own. "Do you like it?"
"Mm hm," he hummed while nodding wildly. And then his eyes were once again glued to the window and Rachel leaned over his shoulder.
"What's that Noah?" Rachel asked as she pointed to the clouds below them.
"I no-no," he said with a shrug.
"Those are clouds baby… can you say clouds?"
"Cyowds," he tried and Rachel giggled at how adorable her son is.
"That was very good sweetie," she kissed his cheek and then sat back in her seat.
"C-yowds, c-yowds, c-yowds… yook mommy." He looked back at Rachel while his little finger was pressed against the window. "Yots and yots of cyowds," his eyes quickly went back to the window as Rachel and Quinn watched him with awe.
Rachel looked back and locked eyes with her wife when Quinn reached over and started to rub her belly again. Quinn draped her other arm across Rachel's shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple. Rachel moaned contentedly at the touch.
"I love you," she whispered and Rachel smiled up at her.
"Lucky me," she said with a wink. "I love you too Quinn," and with that they settled into their seats while Noah continued to yell out the new word he just learned. And both girls thought back to the day they told their son about the new baby.
[FLASHBACK]
Noah was screaming and waddling around the house as he played with his toy trucks. Rachel was standing in the doorway; hand on her belly watching as Quinn chased him around trying to get him dressed to go out.
"Noah, please stop," Quinn said with frustration in her tone.
"NO!" He shouted. "I wanna p-yay."
"And you can… just let Mama change your clothes first."
"NO!" He yelled again. As Rachel watched she could tell that Quinn was at the end of her rope but selfishly she couldn't help but enjoy what she was seeing.
When Quinn slumped to the couch in defeat and cradled her head in her hands; Rachel stopped watching and stepped into action.
She fully entered the room and avoided Noah at first; she knew if she had tried the same tactic Quinn had tried it would only turn out the same way. So instead she sat down next to Quinn and started to rub her back.
"Hey," she said softly and soothingly.
"Hey," Quinn repeated with a crack to her voice and she looked up at her. Rachel could tell she wanted to cry. "Remind me again, why I wanted a boy?" Rachel giggled.
"It's not just boys; they're all terrible at this age."
"Oh that's comforting," Quinn said sarcastically and Rachel chuckled again. "I mean he's not even two yet."
"Yeah… it's going to get worse before it gets better," Quinn groaned at the thought.
"Boy you're just full of good news today huh bab?" Quinn teased and Rachel rubbed her back again a few times before she looked over at her son.
"Hey Noah," Rachel called and he looked over at her as he continued to play with his trucks. "Do you want to hear a secret?"
"Uh huh," he said grinning and nodding.
"Come here," she patted her lap and he waddled over to her. She lifted him up and placed him into her lap facing Quinn; but before she said anything she pulled his pajama top off and took his shirt from Quinn. Once his shirt was on Rachel looked at him.
"Mommy has a baby in her belly," she told him and she could see in his brown eyes that he was confused. But then he lifted one curious eyebrow- looking so much like Quinn when he did so- and then his eyes landed on Rachel's belly.
"Bay-beeeeee!" He shouted causing both of his moms to giggle with love and pride.
"Yup… baby," as Rachel talked she removed his pajama bottoms and put his pants on. "You're going to be a big brother." And Noah smiled in spite of not understanding what that even meant.
"Brover?" He wondered and Rachel nodded. Noah clapped and smiled, and Quinn felt tears escape her eyes a little bit over the moment. And then she watched in awe that Rachel was now putting socks and shoes on their distracted son. Once he was dressed Rachel placed him back on the floor.
"Okay you can go play now?"
"Yay brover," he said as he waddled back over to his trucks. Rachel looked over at Quinn with a slightly smug look on her face.
"How'd you do that?"
"I'm magic," Rachel said arrogantly.
"Okay Miss Magic," Quinn said with a teasing tone. "But how are you going to get him dressed tomorrow when he pulls the same act?" Rachel thought on it for a moment and then frowned.
"Quinn you suck," Rachel pouted. "You couldn't just let me have this… you couldn't just agree that I'm awesome?"
"Baby, I don't need to stroke your ego to agree that you're awesome," she said with a wink and Rachel huffed loudly. But when she tried to get up Quinn pulled her back down and kissed her passionately. Rachel moaned into the kiss.
"You're magic," Quinn said when the kiss broke and Rachel grinned like a fool. "Now let's see what kind of magic you can pull out of your ass to get him to eat breakfast," Quinn said smugly and got to her feet. Rachel pouted again as Quinn walked toward the kitchen.
"Come on Noah," Rachel cooed. "It's time to eat breakfast."
"NO!"
[END FLASHBACK]
When they arrived at the airport; Leroy and Hiram were there to greet them at the baggage claim, and neither man noticed what Noah's shirt had written on it as they both hugged and kissed- first him- and then Quinn and Rachel.
"Hey baby girl, how are you?" Leroy said to Rachel as he hugged her tight while Hiram was hugging Quinn. "We're great," she began but then Leroy and Hiram switched places.
"Rachel you look as gorgeous as ever," Hiram told her.
"Thanks dad," she said with a shy giggle and hugged him tight.
"Quinn," Leroy's voice boomed and she laughed because Leroy's booming tone used to scare the shit out of her and now she laughed at her younger self because the man was nothing but a big teddy bear.
"Yes dad," she said back to him and he pulled her into a hug.
After their greetings they were walking through the parking lot toward where they had parked. Leroy was carrying Noah and that was when he finally noticed Noah's shirt; and he stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the parking lot.
"What… what?" He said looking down at the boy's shirt. The other three stopped and looked at him. Rachel and Quinn were wearing knowing smirks and Hiram was wearing a confused pout.
"What's wrong?" Hiram asked with concern. Rachel and Quinn didn't even try to hide their expressions.
"For real?" Leroy asked looking directly at Rachel; she nodded and Quinn was beaming with pride.
"What-What is it?" Hiram asked again more confused than before. That was when Leroy turned Noah in his arms so that Hiram could read his shirt. It took a few seconds for him to figure out exactly what he was looking for but then he noticed Noah's shirt and he gasped; covering his mouth. The shirt read:
Big Brother.
In big rainbow lettering and both men squealed simultaneously.
"Oh my Barbra," Hiram shouted and Quinn and Rachel both chuckled at his reaction. "Are you?" He started to ask as he looked at Quinn.
"Not this time H," she answered and that was when his proud, tear filled eyes landed on his baby girl… his only daughter. He rushed over to her and scooped her into his arms.
"Congratulations Saba," Rachel told him with a giggle.
"Thanks kid," he lowered her back to the ground and stepped back. "How far along?"
"Just over eleven weeks," she answered and that was when a teary eyed Leroy almost tackled her in a hug. Luckily Quinn was now holding Noah or the boy would've been squished between them.
After about ten minutes of hugging and chatting in the parking lot they finally made it to their car.
"How are you going to tell Judy and Rich?" Leroy wondered and saw both of his daughters wearing evil smirks. He just shook his head with a laugh and asked no more questions.
/
The doorbell rang and they could hear Judy from inside.
"I'll get it Richard," is what they heard and a moment later the door opened and Judy gasped. She didn't know her girls were coming home for the holiday; they had decided to surprise her with it.
"Oh my," she gasped and after the initial shock wore off she grinned. "Quinnie!" She said excitedly and pulled the girl into a tight hug. "How is my Oscar winning daughter?"
"I'm fine mom," Quinn told her with an eye roll. Judy lightly slapped Quinn's shoulder before turning to Rachel.
"And how is my future Tony Award winning daughter in law?"
"I'm great Judy, how are you?"
"I'm wonderful," her eyes peered down at her beautiful grandson standing between the girls and holding both of their hands. "And how are you Mister?"
"Kay," was all he said with a shrug and Judy chuckled. She pulled him up into her arms and hugged him.
After the hug; she pulled Noah into the house and the girls followed; where they greeted Richard, Frannie, and Frannie's fiancé Logan. Quinn asked them all to join her in the living room because they had something to tell them all. Once they were all sitting around the room, Judy spoke.
"Okay you're worrying me Quinnie… what's going on?"
"Noah has something to tell you," she replied and all eyes were instantly on him as he sat on Rachel's lap next to Quinn. Rachel leaned over him and whispered.
"Go ahead sweetie, say what we practiced. Tell grandma, grandpa, Aunt Frannie and Uncle Logan our big news." He looked up at them and blurted it out.
"I'm a big brover."
It was silent for one, two, three seconds before Judy erupted in tears of joy.
She hopped to her feet and hugged both girls; and instinctively patted Rachel's belly without even being told that Rachel was the pregnant one.
She just knew.
"Oh I am so happy," she said gushing. "And let's hope this one is a little girl," and everyone nodded in unison; knowing that Quinn and Rachel wanted to have one of each.
After having a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with family; the girl's decided to have a mini- reunion with their friends that still lived in Lima, or had made the trip.
They all met at the courtyard steps in front of McKinley High… the birthplace of their family, and their home away from home.
It was exciting.
It was nostalgic.
It was everything they'd been dreaming of.
And it was tear inducing- well for Rachel anyway- her hormones were crazy these days. Not that she wouldn't be crying even if she wasn't pregnant; especially when Finn greeted her with the biggest of hugs.
"Thanks for getting Noah that drum kit Finn… it was perfect," Rachel told him once he had released her from the hug. Of course they had sent him a lovely thank you card after Noah's birthday but she still wanted to thank him in person.
"Of course," he said with a shrug. "Every little boy, or girl for that matter, should have a drum kit."
"Agreed."
"So, where is Puck… I heard he got married and I wanted to say hi and apologize for not making it to the wedding. Gena's mom was sick and I had to watch John while she took care of her mom.
"Puck and Sawyer couldn't make it," Quinn answered his question. "They decided to spend the holiday with her family."
"Oh… I'll just give him a call." After a few moments he noticed they were alone. "Where is the little guy?"
"He's with my mom… it was too cold to bring him out tonight."
"Yeah, same with John," Finn agreed.
"But we can come by tomorrow before we leave so you can see him," Rachel suggested and Finn nodded. "I'd love to see John again as well."
"Yeah that sounds perfect Rach," Finn said with his adorable side grin.
"Oh hell to the no!" Mercedes voice sounded from behind them and they all turned to see her walking toward them with Sam by her side. "Now I know y'all haven't started this party without me."
"We wouldn't dream of it Mercedes," Quinn said pulling the girl into a hug. Once that hug was over Mercedes hugged Rachel while Quinn hugged Sam. Once all the hugs had been given; Rachel's eyes locked on Mercedes.
"I'm so proud of you Mercedes," she said and a confused look crossed the girl's face.
"F-For what?"
"Your album," Rachel said with a- well duh- tone and Mercedes's face brightened.
"Oh yeah right… thanks," she looked at her feet as embarrassment washed over her.
"I knew it would happen," Rachel said.
"So did I," Sam echoed the sentiment and everyone could see how proud he was of his girl.
"So did I," Quinn said quietly. Rachel pulled the CD out of her bag and handed it to Mercedes.
"Will you please sign it?"
"Of course," Mercedes said taking the CD and the pen Rachel was offering. She wrote a note on the inside flap of the CD that she knew Rachel would read later.
"Me next," Quinn said excitedly thrusting another CD into the girl's hands.
"Oh please miss Academy Award winner… like you need an autograph from a nobody like me," Mercedes teased.
"You're not a nobody babe," Sam told her with seriousness in his tone and Mercedes may have swooned a bit.
"Never have been," Quinn reiterated. Mercedes took the CD from her and wrote Quinn a message as well- knowing she too would read it later.
"Can we um… maybe go somewhere else?" Finn asked. "It's cold and-"
"Yeah my junk is shrinking," Sam cut him off and both Rachel and Quinn curled their lips at the image.
"Gross."
"Um no… never again," Rachel and Quinn said silmutaneously. "But it is cold," she looked over at Rachel. "They're right, we should go somewhere warmer."
"But Quinn," Rachel whined and stomped her foot. "This is home… this," she pointed to the building. "This is where it all began."
"I know but-"
"Quinn!" Rachel whined again.
"Okay… we're staying," Quinn relented and heard snickering from her so-called friends; she turned to glare at them but they knew her too well- scary Quinn didn't work anymore.
"Whipped," both Mercedes and Sam said together; Rachel felt a little bad that Quinn was getting picked on because she got her way; so she smiled at her wife.
"Okay… we'll go," she relented this time. "But before we leave I need to tell them here," her eyes were locked on Quinn's and she saw her smile and nod.
"Tell them what? Us… t-tell us what?" Finn questioned.
"Well," Rachel began wearing a silly grin but Quinn couldn't hold back her excitement any longer.
"Rachel's pregnant!"
"Oh my god!"
"Oh wow!"
"Awesome," Mercedes, Sam, and Finn said respectively and Finn was the first on his feet to hug her. "That's so awesome Rach… I-I know you're going to have such an amazing kid, well another one," he corrected himself as he pulled out of the hug. "And I hope one of them follows your footsteps on Broadway."
"Thank you Finn… truly, it means a lot to hear you say that." And as they hugged and talked Quinn was getting congratulations from Sam and Mercedes.
"But seriously Quinn… how in the hell is the world going to handle another Rachel Berry?" Mercedes teased.
"They'll be lucky to have him or her," Quinn answered with pride.
"They sure will… I know we were," with that Quinn's smile widened. "I'm so happy for you both Quinn." She said and pulled her into a hug; as soon as Mercedes released her, Sam pulled her into a hug.
"Congrats Quinn… your family is sure going to be the best looking family."
"Thanks Sam."
"Well until Mercedes and I start having kids that is," he winked at his girl and Quinn chuckled at how adorable they were together and that they finally fixed their shit so that they could have the life they had both been dreaming of.
Meanwhile Mercedes was looking at the both of them like they were crazy.
"Oh honey," she directed her attention to her dreamy boyfriend. "We are nowhere close to being ready for that, yet."
"Yet," he said with a smirk and looked over at Quinn. "Did you hear that Quinn? She said yet," he winked at Mercedes and she- as usual- swooned.
As Sam and Mercedes turned to congratulate Rachel; Finn turned to Quinn.
"You are going to have the most talented family Quinn… and the most beautiful as well," she smiled at her old friend. "Hell you already do."
"Thank you Finn," she pulled him into a hug and a moment later when she pulled out of it she was wearing a smirk. "But you know, your family is gorgeous as well," she shrugged and he laughed.
"Yeah they're pretty wonderful," he said with nothing but love in his tone and once again Quinn felt grateful that he was happy, that all of their friends had found what they had been dreaming of.
"Thank you for becoming this…" she looked him over. "This amazing and beautiful man who Rachel always… always knew was hidden somewhere inside that misguided boy you used to be."
"Yeah well, you and Rachel taught me a few things and I want to thank you for being a part of my life Quinn," he said with a wink and tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. They were brought out of their moment by Rachel's worried voice.
"Oh no," she said and then all eyes were on her.
"What?"
"What?"
"What's wrong?"
"Are you okay baby?" Mercedes, Sam, Finn, and Quinn said within seconds of each other.
"Yeah everything is fine but um…" she trailed of and met each of their eyes briefly before continuing. "But you all have to promise not to tell Santana that we told you first," she finished and Mercedes bellowed laughter.
Everyone else joined in a moment later.
"What? I'm serious," Rachel told her laughing friends.
"Can we go somewhere warmer now?" Sam asked effectively changing the subject.
"Breadstix?" Finn suggested and everyone agreed.
When Rachel and Quinn got home they took turns showering; and while Quinn was showering Rachel took the CD that Mercedes had signed for her out of her bag, she pulled out the inside sleeve, and as she read a smile overtook her face.
Rachel,
Look I know during high school and even after I never gave you the credit you deserved for helping me find the drive I needed to succeed. First with the night of neglect junior year and then again senior year with the play; I know it was a rough time for our friendship but because it was real, we made it through. I love you like a sister Rachel and that'll never change.
xo Mercedes
A tear fell from Rachel's eye and she sent a text to her friend saying thanks and that she felt the same way.
And twenty minutes later; when Rachel was in the shower and Quinn had gotten ready for bed she pulled out her own message from Mercedes.
Quinn,
Not once, but twice you saved my life. The first time it was quite literally, I don't know where I would've ended up if you hadn't taken the time during sophomore year when I was starving myself to tell me that I was beautiful. It was such a simple thing and it changed me, it saved me. And then you did it again. The second time you saved me wasn't as literal but it meant just as much. If I didn't listen to you and take a chance with Sam I wouldn't be as happy as I am. So thank you Quinn for always taking the time to tell people that they matter. I love you girl.
xo Mercedes
Quinn didn't send a text to thank her friend she called her and they chatted for several minutes about how they want and need to keep in touch more, and better. And once Rachel was finished in her shower Quinn was lying in bed reading a book.
"Hey baby," she said and Quinn's eyes met hers.
"Hey," Quinn put her book down and watched as Rachel got into her pajamas and joined her in bed. And as they cuddled together they started to talk about baby names.
"What about Abigail?" Quinn suggested and Rachel smiled but shook her head no.
"I-I mean it's okay but-"
"You're right, it's too popular," Quinn cut her off in agreement; knowing what she was going to say. "Have you thought of any?"
"I thought we agreed that you'd pick the name and I'd pick the middle name just like we did with Noah?" Rachel wondered.
"Yeah but that doesn't mean you can't give me some suggestions and opinions."
"True but… I mean I have my own names to think of and plus we don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet."
"I know," Quinn began with a smirk. "How about Finn?" She giggled when Rachel glared at her… HBIC style.
"Look I love Finn as much as you do but with our tumultuous past and the memories of you punching him out repeatedly makes it hard to want to name our child after him." Quinn was still laughing.
"I was kidding Rachel."
"Oh," Rachel bit her lip and grinned as they both became lost in thought for several moments. "Do you like Aiden?" Rachel finally continued.
"Yeah," Quinn shrugged. "It's very popular but I think Noah and Aiden sounds really cute together." Rachel nodded and then she decided to share with Quinn what she had been thinking for a while.
"I-I was thinking about Santana for a girl," she blurted out and Quinn smiled. "I-I mean as a middle name," she corrected and Quinn nodded; still smiling.
"I love it," Rachel's smile widened. "But you know she's going to cry right?"
"Or punch me."
"No," Quinn shook her head because Rachel was right… there was a very good chance that Santana would punch her but Quinn knew better. "No… she'll cry."
"Yeah," Rachel said in a loving tone. "But then she'll punch me."
And Quinn could only nod.
"So it's decided then," Quinn began. "If it's a girl, her middle name will be Santana?" Rachel nodded. "Now I just need to come up with a first name."
"Yeah you do," Rachel teased with a wink and she settled into Quinn's side. They talked well into the night and they decided that they would surprise Santana and not tell her until the baby is already born… assuming it was a girl.
They spent the remainder of the night discussing boy names and girl first names until sleep took them both; and then they dreamt about it.
Just like they had always been dreaming of.
When they returned home from Lima they gathered all of their friends at their favorite place to hangout, celebrate, and have a good time… Beth's Hideaway.
"Why'd you bitches gather us here?" Santana shouted and then she remembered that they went home for Thanksgiving and hoped that their reason for this little get together wasn't anything bad. "Wait… everything is okay right?"
"Yes, everything is fine San," Quinn told her and watched her breathe a sigh of relief before her attitude snapped back into place. "Then why'd you gather us here then?"
"We… we have good news, the best news," Quinn said before looking over at Rachel. She was urging Rachel with her eyes to tell them.
And then Rachel did.
Much the same way Quinn had told their friends at home.
"I'm pregnant!" She shouted and gasps were heard briefly before cheers erupted.
"Oh for fuck's sake… that's all we need, Berry 2.0," Santana grumbled but she was the first on her feet to hug the girl in question.
"Thanks Santana," Rachel told her and Santana nodded before she stepped out of the way for Brody to scoop her into his arms. Once all the congratulations were said… Tina spoke.
"How far along are you?"
"A little over eleven weeks," Quinn answered for her.
"And why are we just finding out now?" Puck asked with an angry look on his face but they all knew he wasn't actually mad.
"Because we wanted to be sure there were no complications, and we wanted to tell our parents first," Rachel answered and Puck pulled her into another hug.
"I can't wait to meet your kid babe," he whispered in her ear and pulled out of the hug but still kept one arm draped over her shoulder.
"How'd they react?" Sawyer wondered.
"The way you'd expect," Quinn told her. "And Shelby cried when we told her yesterday."
"We also told Finn, Mercedes, and Sam at our mini glee union over the holiday."
"Wait!" Santana's voice boomed over the chatter and she got to her feet agian. "I know you didn't Wheezy, Trouty Mouth, and Finnocent before you told me," She yelled and Rachel and Quinn could only laugh.
Because what else could they do?
Santana was Santana.
And some things would never change.
A/N 2: The title of the chapter comes from the song In Walked Love by Expose.
Up next: They find out the sex of the baby and Mike and Tina get married. Stay tuned…
