Valentine
Joe Morelli has started dating again. His mother and aunts have been very busy arranging dates for him with appropriate, suitable women: single white females in their late twenties or early thirties from good Catholic families with practical modest ambitions. They all know how to cook and bake, of course, and love for children is a must. Everyone is confident he will find the perfect girl in no time at all. He's a nice-looking attractive man. He has a lovely two-story house, a respectable job and a steady income. He has savings in the bank. And Grandma Bella had a vision when he came over for dinner the other day. She saw a mild-tempered young sweet pretty woman who works in a library. She saw a brown-eyed curly-haired baby who looks just like her Joseph. She saw a beautiful church. She saw roses. And she also heard music. Bella grabbed hold of her favorite grandchild's hand and burst into tears. She was happy beyond words. She will go to Heaven after she holds little Joseph in her tired old arms, she said. Her wish has been granted. Joe Morelli tried to smile but failed. He soon found himself an excuse and left his mother's house. He was still hungry but he couldn't eat anymore. He went to a bar frequented by the off-duty police and ordered a beer, a whiskey, and then a double shot of tequila. Later that night he came home a little drunk and helplessly sad. And he had another colorless bad dream.
All the women he dates are pleasant and agreeable. Most of them are cuter and younger than Stephanie. They giggle at his jokes and look at him with interested eyes. But a little voice in his head keeps telling him there's something missing. And he keeps thinking of Terry. He keeps thinking of Stephanie. He feels so alone. He doesn't know what's wrong with him. Why does he keep thinking of the women he can't have? Why can't he just make up his mind, brace himself, and get it over with? Why is he so obsessed with those who are wrong for him? Terry, Terry is like a beautiful faraway dream. He was enchanted by the color of her eyes the first time they met. They dated. They kissed. They made love. They broke up. They left the city. They grew up. They came back. They knew their limits. And Stephanie never ever stops frustrating him.
Why did she move back to her own apartment? Why is she still driving Ranger's car? When will she give up her ridiculous dreams? He have heard enough rumours and gossip about her and Ranger, though people tend to stop talking the moment they take notice of his presence. Everyone knows she dumped him for Ranger. Everyone is surprised she's still living in her apartment. Well, everyone was shocked when they found out Helen didn't disown Stephanie. They watch Stephanie and Lula running and shouting after her stupid or crazy skips. They watch the sleek black cars stop and the muscular men come out to lend her a timely helping hand. They watch Ranger tuck an escaped curl behind her ear. They watch her smile up to him with blushing cheeks while trying to catch her breath. They know sometimes his fancy German car will park all night in her parking lot. They know sometimes her apartment is dark and her car is nowhere to be seen. And Helen Plum, that stiff and stern Helen Plum, is not unhappy. As if marriage is now a choice and no longer a must. As if nobody gives a rat's ass what other people think.
Joe Morelli gets out of his car, walks into Pino's, sits down at the reserved table, and starts waiting for his date tonight. Stop thinking about Stephanie, he orders himself. She's the past now. Focus on the future. Think happy thoughts. Maybe this Emily woman will be his perfect match. She does work in the library and she does know how to make cupcakes and iced tea. Maybe one day Stephanie and Ranger will get married. Maybe one day Stephanie will give birth to a pair of twin boys. Who knows? Maybe one day she will give birth to triplets or quadruplets. Maybe one day Ranger will dump her for someone younger, prettier and sexier. Who cares? Joe Morelli snorts at himself. She has made her choice. She has to face the consequence. She gets what she deserves. It's none of his business. Not anymore. And he heard that Terry is seeing a man from another Family. Stop it right now, Joe. The little voice in his head says firmly. Our fate is already written. The two of you are not meant to be. It's for the best.
He takes a sip of the water, lets out a sigh, and checks his watch. He came too early and he hates waiting. He's afraid that if he waits for too long, he will forget what he's been waiting for eventually. Happiness. Love. Laughter. Rainbow. Cupcakes. Doughnuts. Pizza. Ice cream. He has been standing in the line waiting for his turn for a very long time. He looks down at his hands and finds them empty. He suddenly loses his appetite as he feels his tears welling up. He used to be a bad boy. He used to be a badass. He's still a dauntless police detective. It's the day after Valentine's Day. But now all he can feel is loneliness. Cold hard choking loneliness.
And this is something even a cup of hot chocolate can't fix.
~The End~
