Author's Note: It's been forever, I know. I have to admit my interests have turned from Supernatural to Merlin to Marvel (more specifically Captain America) so I've been focusing on those stories, but I did not want to just leave this story without finishing! I keep getting favorites and follows which is awesome - thank you! I will try to keep updating and make the next chapter a lot longer. I will say that I do not remember very much from any season past season one (because I've seen season one like a million times). It's been too long and there are so many episodes, but I will do my best and probably just end up doing my own little plot that deviates a bit from the show. I haven't actually started watching the newest season but I don't have cable, so I'll probably just wait for it to go on Netflix.
Supernatural
ΦΦΦ
The Evolution of Elizabeth Martin
Part Four
Φ
Remembrance
After Effects
October 16, 2009
Elizabeth could feel sunlight cascading down on her face. She opened her eyes and found herself looking out a wide window and onto the sea. The window was open a crack, and she could hear the crashing of the waves. Dawn had struck the water and everything was gold. Was she dead? After everything she had been through, had she finally come to the end?
"You're awake."
Elizabeth jolted at the sound of a voice. She turned and saw a man sitting in the chair beside her bed. "Castiel?" The dark-haired angel sat there watching her with sad eyes.
"I tried to find you after…after what happened, but I couldn't. The wards were too strong," Castiel told her.
"I didn't want to be found," Elizabeth said quietly. "Not for a long time."
"You drew attention to yourself though. You helped me find you."
"I thought it might work," she said. "And I figured if you didn't find me, maybe I belonged there."
"You don't belong in an asylum," Castiel told her.
"I went a little off after…after Sam…" She couldn't get the words out.
"I know," Castiel told her. "You cared about him. It's difficult."
"Every day I think about what I did, how I ran, and I regret it. Maybe if I had stayed I would have found some way to help. When Dean called me to tell me what had happened… I hated myself for what I'd done."
"No one blamed you for leaving," Castiel assured her. "Things were getting over all our heads."
"But I should have been there," she whispered, tears blurring her vision. "I chose the life of a hunter. I knew what I was signing up for but when my friends needed me the most I ran."
"There's nothing we can do about all that now," Castiel said quietly. She saw a weariness in his face that she hadn't remembered before all this chaos had consumed them. Before the apocalypse that had almost torn their world apart – had torn her world apart.
"Where do we go from here? I haven't spoken to Dean since it happened. Last I heard he got out. He's living with a woman and her son. Living a normal life. From what I know it's really hard for a hunter to get out once he's in. Too many demons chasing after them – literally and figuratively."
"Do you want a normal life?" Castiel asked her.
Elizabeth shook her head. "It doesn't matter what I want. I'll never have a normal life. How can someone like me ever get out of this?"
Castiel's blue eyes were sad, and Elizabeth realized just how much emotion he'd come to show since she'd first met him. At first he'd been stern and unfeeling but once he'd learned that feeling some emotions was all right or at least inevitable after spending so much time on earth, he'd become almost caring. She knew how much he cared about Dean. It was reflected in how much he'd done for the older Winchester brother. He'd tried to help Sam all he could too, but in the end, Sam had made the ultimate sacrifice… She shut her eyes against that thought. She couldn't think about it, even a year later.
"We can find somewhere safe," he told her. "Somewhere the other angels can't track you."
"Will I ever really be safe? My grace marks me like a beacon. I'm surprised I've made it this far." The life of a nephilim had not been easy even with her powers, even after Castiel had grudgingly agreed to help her learn to master them.
"None of us will ever truly be safe," he told her. "I'm sorry."
She gave him the tiniest smile. "I know you want to make me safe. Thank you. You've already done so much for me."
He ducked his head. "You never deserved to die for what you are."
"I just wish the rest of the angels saw it that way. Anna did, but then she…she tried to kill Sam."
"None of us could have predicted that Anna would try that."
"A lot of good people have died in this war. What good is being part-angel when I can't even save them?"
"This war was between two of the most powerful, ancient beings in Heaven and Hell. No angel let alone part-angel could have stopped it from happening."
"But Sam did. In the end. He stopped it. He had the strength."
"Sam was a good man," Castiel agreed.
Elizabeth readjusted herself on the bed. She felt restless like she'd been stationary for too long not only in body but in mind. She'd spent too long mourning, too long letting herself sink deeper and deeper into the hole she'd dug for herself. It was time for her to rise from the darkness and find strength within herself if she had any left. She didn't know what she would do. Didn't know where she would go. There were always people to save, but after all that had happened, she didn't think she could stand to lose anyone again. She was tired of seeing death. She'd seen friends and strangers alike die, and it never got any easier. She'd caused death herself. Even if it was to a paranormal creature, she still had blood on her hands. She knew angels were mighty warriors, but that wasn't what she'd aspired to become. She'd just wanted to give her legacy a chance, but it had only come with fear and danger.
Suddenly Castiel stiffened, his blue eyes alert. Elizabeth put her feet on the floor. "What is it?" she asked.
Castiel didn't answer for a moment. Then he turned to look at her, and she saw a flicker of fear in his eyes. "They've found us," he said.
Elizabeth was on her feet in an instant. Castiel came to her side, taking her arm. With a flutter of wings the room vanished, and they found themselves in a dark room made of concrete. Castiel dropped her arm and took a knife from his tan trench coat. He cut his own hand and began to mark the walls with angel sigils to ward them from unfriendly eyes. She'd hardly come back to the world of the living and already she was running for her life. Elizabeth shut her eyes and thought back to the first time the angels had come after her – and caught her. She'd never been more afraid in that moment. She'd always thought angels to be noble, wise creatures who, though warriors, would spare a life if that person was good. Apparently being nephilim did not count as good in their eyes though. Those prejudices had nearly led to her death, and in the end, Elizabeth had taken the life of something pure and timeless, a death that still haunted her. As Castiel continued to mark the walls in his own blood, Elizabeth closed her eyes and remembered.
