Hey there, guys! What have I been up to? Legitly, nothing. :( I've been sleeping a lot, if that counts, haha. Yeah, I have been getting writing done, so look forward to steady chapters for the next few weeks. Kk, that should be it for this author's note.

~Enjoy!~


I'm going away for a while

But I'll be back, don't try to follow me,

'Cause I'll return as soon as possible.

See, I'm trying to find my place,

But it might not be here where I feel safe


Journal Entry, Day 17

One drop. Splat. It plops its wet body on my window and oozes down. I exhale.

Two drops. Plip Plop. They race each other playfully, trying to see which one can reach the windowsill the fastest.

Five drops. A quiet crackle. Their kind is increasing, multiplying, at such an enormous rate. If they were a lethal virus, we'd all be dead in hours.

Thirty drops. Or something close to it. It's so hard to count them all when they appear at once. They make the sound of a player in a Mariachi band shaking the maraca.

Hundreds of drops. They stop being so gentle, and become ruthless. With all their force, they beat down upon my window like it's just a barrier to get to me. They can't wait to get their aqueous fingers up and down my dry body, stealing away the last thing I own: my warmth.

Sure, my heart is cold, but not all the way to the core. It's like a tiny flame, burning duskily, barely still alive. It keeps the organ beating, keeps the body operating. If it were to be extinguished, it would be like flipping the vital switch to 'off.' In time, everything would shut, break down. The brain would be working frantically, overtime, but soon it would lose its power source. It too would break.

Because that's all it takes. One domino goes down and they all fall to the ground.

It's been less than a week since I saw Ciel and Alois, or Chris and Jim. The storms have been nonstop, the raindrops even now are pelting at the clear glass. The great oak tree out in the front yard is no more. A particularly fastidious streak of lightning struck it last night. I hate to say it, but I was devastated. I don't know why, but it was the first thing I physically touched in the real world when I was able to return. And now, like everything else I've ever known, it's gone.

I can't help but blame myself. Maybe if I had never interfered with its timeline, maybe if I had just stayed shut in my house like a good little prisoner, maybe it would still be alive, there for the next family in this house to enjoy.

No. No, no, no.

Each droplet seems to be carrying the same word. No matter what, I can't undo the past, I can't redo the situations I've messed up. It's all gone to hell, isn't that the appropriate expression for all this?


We all learn to make mistakes

And run from them, from them

With no direction

We'll run from them, from them

With no conviction


The creaking noise of the door hinge downstairs made me vapidly drop my pen and as to hide my location, I scurried into the closet in my bedroom and ducked down behind some boxes and piles of clothes.

The groaning steps signaled the vicinity of which the intruder was in. They were approaching, but they weren't as loud as one might expect. In fact, when the trespasser hopped off the last step and into my room, I found that they were but a small black cat.

The cat looked around and sniffed at the air before taking a step forward and suddenly transfiguring into a human (clothed, don't worry). And it was a human I knew.

Darren.

He paced over to the uncovered window, averting his eyes away to the leather bound book on the window seat, half-hidden by a patterned quilt. He leant down and picked it up, proceeding to leaf through the tender pages.

Every once in a while he would laugh at a certain entry and continue on with his business. Sometimes he would just stop and read, his face making no emotion at the words scrawled on the otherwise blank page.

When he seemed to be done with it, he turned towards the closet I was in and said in a composed tone, "You can come out now. I promise I won't bite."

He flashed a quick view of his feline-like jaws, a silent promise to contain them.

I tentatively crept out of the closet (no gay jokes here!) and made eye contact with Darren.

"What exactly are you and why are you here?" I blurted out all of a sudden.

"I'm what you might call a werecat," he explained with a hint of a purr in his voice. "And as for why I'm here, I had to run an errand for Undertaker in the Shinigami Realm, and I thought I might stop in and pay you a visit."

"You could have knocked," I grumbled. "And werecat? Really?"

"Knocking wouldn't have been of any use, you wouldn't be able to hear it," Darren shrugged. "And yes, I am a werecat. But none of that full moon shit that everyone associates with werewolves. I simply have the ability to change from a human to a cat. It's that simple."

"Wait, so how did you know I was here?" I asked suspiciously.

"I didn't," he put simply. "But when I was meandering around, I heard your name mentioned and got curious. Asked around a little, and I soon got my answers. It's funny, those blondes that work in Optical will tell you just about anything if you're flirtatious enough."

"Yeah, but I'm not a guy," I pointed out.

"Didn't say you were," he rejoined.

"Whatevs," I huffed.

Wait a motherfucking second…black cats…where did I know those from?

"Hey, Darren," I wondered aloud. "How old are you?"

He looked stunned for a second, but a smirk once crossed his face again. "I'm sixteen, a year younger than you," he answered slyly.

I rolled my eye at his frivolous actions. "I asked how old you were, not how old you look."

He let out a defeated sigh. "I guess you've caught me. I'm a mere two hundred and thirty one years old."

"Mere?"

"It's young for my kind."

"Well, if you're that old, you must know a few things, right?"

Darren's eyes lit up a little. "What kind of things would you like to know?"

I left no hesitation in my queries. "How did a month and a half pass from when I left the human world to when I arrived at the Shinigami Realm?"

"That's easy," Darren replied. "It takes approximately that amount of time to get where you were, in that strange gap between space and time, to a normal universe. Thus, the time delay."

I nodded in understanding. "Gotcha. Okay, about a week or so, Ronald Knox, you know him?, came in for a visit, but when he left, he forget to shut the door all the way. But when I went over to it, it opened, not to the Shinigami Realm, but to the human world. Why is that?

Also, I can reopen that door whenever I want, but every time it leads to the outside."

This took a little more thought from Darren. "I suspect that since you are probably spiritually bound to this place, but since the door was ajar, the house let you out into the real world. Before, I bet the outside looked like an illusion to you, but since you broke the barrier between the two places, you are able to interact with the outside world as well."

"Alright, so I've discovered that this house is a residence in Pennsylvania. If this is property of the Shinigami Headquarters in London, England, why would this place be in the United States?"

"The Shinigami Dispatch Society owns several properties around the world, all in small, insignificant neighborhoods, for souls/situations like yours, and it doesn't matter where they are because with their technology, the Shinigami can reach the places in a matter of seconds."

"Okay, I saw Alois and Ciel, but they're not really…Alois and Ciel."

"Jim Macken was a perfectly normal kid before he became Alois Trancy, which is probably the reasoning that he is still in that form in this age."

"When I saw them, they were able to speak and interact with me, but other people were not."

"It's because you were associated in your past life, or in that version of reality. They feel like they know you, because they did, in another time. That's why they can see you, but others can't."

"Okay," I agreed. "But one more thing. Am I a ghost?"

This made Darren throw back his head and laugh manically.

I folded my arms and humphed. "It's not funny~"

He wiped tears from the corners of his eyes and calmed down. "You're right, it's not. And no, you are not a ghost. More of a lost soul than anything. But it's souls like yours that cause people to make up the myth of ghosts. Souls get lost or ensnared in places they are fond of, or in places they can't leave. Most recently, there are the situations like yourself, where they are in house arrest because of the SDS, but that's a rare occurrence too."

"Ugh, this is all so annoying," I whined.

"Hey, it's your fault," Darren commented. "You could have fixed this easily with another request instead of the foolish one you made."

"What do you mean?" I questioned, tilting my head in.

"I'm not sure whether or not that's something I can tell," he smirked, escaping out of the room and down the stairs.

I followed him down and he was leaning against the red wooden door.

"Though I do have another scrap of information you might be interested in hearing," Darren teased.

I punched him in the arm teasingly. "Just tell me what it is."

"While exploring, I found out about this certain door, with tons of high tech security and shit to keep it protected. You wanna know why?" he said suggestively. "It's because that's where they keep all of the most important souls that have been collected over time. Rumor has it that all souls pertaining to the Phantomhives have a special corridor there. It might be near impossible to get in, but All Hallow's Eve is just around the corner."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You know the legend that says on Halloween, all spirits are able to walk free? Coincidently, that day also happens to be the most hectic for the Shinigami Dispatch Society. Wanna know why?"

"Because maybe that legend isn't just a bunch of bull," he whispered.

"Wha-" I started, but was cut off by a quick peck from Darren on my lips, before he zipped out of the door, and back into the opposite realm.

That damn bastard.


'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts

Travelin' endlessly

Don't need no roads

In fact, they follow me

And we just go in circles


Pulling back the quilted sheets on my bed, I wiped the eye goobers that continued to crust up in the corners of my eyes, even though I was no longer living. I pinpointed the date on the calendar, the flowery one with the month tacked neatly on "October." I X'd out yesterday's date and circled the one a few weeks away:

Halloween.

It was quite weird, to be stranded in this house without a computer or a phone. I couldn't believe how hard it was to live without modern conveniences.

Groggily ruffling my tank top, I stopped in my tracks when I saw a familiar black cat swishing its tail back and forth in my doorway. He mew'd and instantaneously transformed into his human form.

"Darren," I scolded tiredly. "What gave you the idea that you could just burst into my house whenever you wanted?"

"My own lovely brain," he responded, a mischievous smirk growing on his pale lips.

"Is that the same organ that gave you the idea that it was okay to 'kiss' me?" I interrogated.

"Ah, no. That was a different organ," he jested. "Think further…south."

I opened my mouth in shock and punched him in the stomach. "You pervert!"

Darren doubled over in laughter/pain and corrected me, "I was talking about my heart, stupid!"

I laughed, though I was trying my hardest to keep a serious look on my face. "You so did not! Plus, werecats don't have hearts," I retorted smartly.

He straightened himself up and looked me dead in the eye, a grin threatening to show itself. "What do you know about werecats? Up until yesterday, you didn't even know they existed."

I tried to brush it off with as much calamity as possible, which wasn't much at all. "Psh, you underestimate me…peasant."

He burst out in raucous laughter. "Oh my god, just-" Darren couldn't finish his sentence through his cackling. "-stop, please. You're-" he had to take another short break before he could continue. "-too funny."

I made a face and let a proud smile coat my blushing face. "Yeah, I know."

"All right, now let's get more serious," Darren calmed as he composed himself.

"K," I responded. "Besides, I've done some thinking, and I know where I've seen you before."

"Where?" he questioned intently.

"You were the one who saved me and Chris, weren't you?" I inquired.

He threw his hands up. "You caught me."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "It's that easy?"

Darren made a quick face but continued. "I'm not one to hide secrets. If you come out and ask me straight, I'll tell you."

I smiled. It was nice to get an honest answer for once.

"Why'd you do it?"

"Curiosity, I guess," he dismissed. "And don't go making any jokes about my being a cat now. No, I'd heard from Undertaker about the Phantomhives and when I heard that there had a fire, I went over to investigate.

I was too late to save your parents, but when I went downstairs, you and your brother were there, scared. I brought one of you, and instantly sniffed out the nearest orphanage. It took a little convincing, but the woman there finally opened the door. Then I got the other and the woman was there again."

"Why didn't you just take us back to Undertaker's?" I queried.

He looked at me strangely. "Do you even want to think of how messed up you'd be if you had been raised by Undertaker?"

I thought over my meetings with the odd coroner and realized that Darren's conjectures were probably accurate. "Yeah…"

"Speaking of my brother," I added. "I was actually planning on spying on him and Alois/Jim today, so wanna come with?"

"Now?" He looked at me doubtfully. "You're still in your pyjamas."

"What you mean is, I look like a mess," I rectified. "But I don't really give a fuck because the only people who can see me are Jim, Chris, and you. Ain't no other bitches judging me!"

Darren sighed, but joined in on my enthusiastic spirit. "Didn't you just wake up?" he pointed out.

I laughed at him. "I don't need sleep, silly! I don't even technically exist!"

"Ah, but you still look the same as if you were human."

"Are you making fun of me?" I accused.

"No, not at all," he defended.

"That's what I thought."

He gestured to the door and proclaimed, "After you."

I just scoffed at him. "You only say that because you can't get into the real world until I open the door."

"That is…completely factual."

"Figured."

Like being shot with a sudden burst of euphoria, the sunlight struck me all over when I opened the door. It was almost like I could feel the heat on my body.

"Hey look!" I exclaimed as I jumped out onto the lawn. "No shadow!"

Darren followed suit and inspected his own back area. "None for me either."

"Hm, well, let's go Peter Pan!" and I set off in a march onto the sidewalk in my neighbor's yard.

But it was like a ten-pound weight had been added to my feet once I set foot off my own property.

"Uh, a little help here?" I asked of Darren.

He strutted over and inspected my predicament. "Ah, it's the house. The farther you get from it, the harder it'll be to walk."

I groaned. "That's so annoying. I need to check up on my little bro!"

"You'll be fine, I'll carry you," he offered.

"That's so…" Embarrassing! "Yeah, whatever, carry your queen."

I lifted my arms up for him to hold on to.

Darren struggled to scoop me into his arms, but once he had me in a comfortable position, we continued our pace.

"Ugh," he grunted. "It's like carrying an elephant."

"Hey!" I pouted.

"Kidding," he admitted. "But seriously, this house is making you super heavy."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not like I can help it."

"I know, I know," he vindicated.

And with that, we set off for college for some serious…espionage.


And now I'm told that this is life

That pain is just a simple compromise

So we can get what we want out of it


"Argh," Darren complained when he set me down in the University of Pennsylvania's grounds.

"Shuddup," I silenced. "Ah, fuck, it feels like I'm wading through two feet of snow here."

"It could be worse," Darren passed off. He started walking into the building before I reached out for his arm and grabbed him.

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

"Going inside," he said, unconcerned.

"Um, they're going to notice you," I reminded.

"Oh, right," he remembered. He swiftly changed into his black cat form and together we headed into the building to find my brother.

Darren sniffed at the air and leapt off into the hallway ahead and I had no choice but to follow. He soon led me to a little garden on the prestigious college's grounds. I crept down behind some bushes and listened on the voices talking.

"Hey, uh, Chris," a quiet voice said. It was Jim! "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, me? I'm just waiting for Holley," came from what I presumed was Chris. "You?"

"Um, I like to come out here because I enjoy the peace and quiet. It's also great for studying," Jim explained. "Do you want me to leave for you…and um, Holley?"

There was definitely less hostility between the two now, so hopefully my talk with them had struck a chord. But there was still the timid tone in Jim's voice, god, he was so afraid of Chris…

"We will be needing the privacy…" Chris said absentmindedly. "Oh! But not the way you're thinking!" I guessed that Jim had probably made a face at the earlier comment. "I'm actually…well, I haven't told anyone this, but…I'm breaking up with Holley."

"Well…that was unexpected," Jim observed.

"I know, but, just promise you won't say anything until after she leaves, okay?" Chris practically begged.

"I guess, if you tell me why," Jim teased.

Chris sighed in an uppity tone. "I just, I dunno, I just don't have the same feelings for her that I had at the beginning of the semester. I think…no, never mind."

"No, seriously, spit it out!" Jim cheered on enthusiastically.

"Um, I think that," he started. "I think that I might have feelings for someone else."

"And whom might that be…?"

"Jim!" An energetic voice shouted from the entrance and broke their conversation. One that I could only guess belonged to Holley.

"Didn't expect to see you here," she added later. "Mind giving my boy and me a little time alone?"

"Uh, I'll see you two later," Jim bid as I heard the clack of his shoes slowly fade out.

"So, you wanted to see me, Chris?" She sounded so excited…I didn't want to hear that enthusiasm leave her voice as my ex-brother broke the news.

"Listen, Holley, we've both been really busy with our classes this year, and keeping up both a steady relationship and my grades has been tough…"

"-But we said we would work through those things, remember?" Holley interrupted, desperation laced with her words.

"I know we did, but…I'm not so sure anymore. And, uh…"

"And?"

"I think I might have feelings for someone else?"

"OH."

That was the real reason behind the breakup. It wasn't that it was too hard, it was that Chris wasn't into their relationship anymore. I bet the fact broke her heart. Which, I might add, is another reason I don't get involved in relationships…

"Can you at least do me the favor of telling me who she is?"

No answer.

"Is it…a she?"

"What? What are you suggesting? That I'm gay? You know how I cannot tolerate their kind. You think I would leave you to turn into one of them?"

Holley laughed lightly. "Ah, I figured. Everything makes sense to me now." I could hear rustling sounds as she stood up. "You know, I hope you can one day come to terms with your sexuality. I have enjoyed the time we've spent together, but I figured it might come to an end sometime. Besides, we both knew what we were getting into when we started dating."

"And what was that?"

"We were only each other's beards all along, that much was easy to discern."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Chris's voice protested.

"Silly Chris, did you really not know? I'm a lesbian."

"Wha-"

"I didn't know you were gay when I first met you, but as we got to know each other, I was able to figure it out. And when you asked me out, I figured you had seen the same in me. I thought it was an agreement between the two of us, because neither of us was ready to come to terms with it yet.

But through this relationship, I think I'm finally ready to come out."

"Wait, so did I just get broken up with? I don't understand…" Chris asked.

I heard Holley ruffle his hair. "You will one day, boy. I've had a nice time with you. I hope we can still be friends, and maybe even go on double dates with our significant others!"

I could tell that Chris had more questions to ask, but Holley skipped out before he could get to them.

Wow…talk about a breakup gone wrong…

I piped my head out of the bushes and squealed, "Well, then, who do you like?"

"Ah!" Chris shrieked, backing away from the bench he had just been sitting on.

I got up, brushed leaves off of myself, and lightly kicked Darren, who was back in his human form, laughing his ass off on the dirty ground.

Chris walked over and asked, "Who's that? Is he your boyfriend?"

"Him? No," I responded quickly. "No, this is Darren. He's a friend, that should really get his act together." I seethed.

Darren picked himself off the ground. "Alright, alright, chill, woman. Oh, hi, dude. Nice going there."

"Thanks," Chris grumbled to himself, head hung low in shame.

"Oh, don't worry, lil' bro," I comforted, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine, it's just…what she said."

"Did it bother you?" I queried.

"…Yeah."

"And why do you think that is?" I dug deeper, hoping to find the root of the problem.

"Don't know."

"Hey, it's fine, whatever you are." Darren also clamped a palm onto Chris's shoulder. "We're not judging here. And from the way your sister talks, she really wants you and that flamboyant blonde to get together." Darren shot me a quick wink and I glared back at him.

"Hey! That's not true!" I bent down and whispered into Chris's ear, "I swear, I said no such thing."

Chris brushed both our hands off of him and started heading towards the entrance. He turned around once at the exit.

"You know, I appreciate the help, but…don't. I just need some time to think right now." Chris had a certain sadness in his deep blue eyes. "And Seul, I was just bluffing earlier about how when I bullied Jim it meant nothing to me. In reality, I feel awful about what I did to him. I didn't realize the impact I had made on his life, and hearing those words come out of his mouth…I felt so terrible. I'm such a terrible person."

"You're not," I consoled. "I think, maybe an apology or two, and some quality time together, and this all can be fixed."

Chris looked up, hope circling his cerulean orbs. "You think?"

"I'm absolutely positive."

Pacing past him, Darren and I left him standing there, and once in the building, Darren turned back into his cat form and we made it to the front gates.

But then..things started to get fuzzy. The sun, it was too bright. I blinked furiously to try to get it to stop beating down so harshly, but not even my eyelashes could block it out. Suddenly, the weight around my legs got that much heavier and I found myself swaying back and forth.

I was losing balance, the ground was getting closer and closer to my face…

3…2…1…

I hit the cool, soft grass.


Would someone care to classify?

Our broken hearts and twisted minds

So I can find someone to rely on

And run to them, to them


"Seul? Seul?"

I half-opened my eyes twice, hesitantly, before widening them. I was on the couch in my parlor, with a worried Darren standing over me.

"Hey, what happened?" I mumbled tiredly. "I remember seeing bright lights and then passing out."

"I think the strain on your body to be out and away from where you were supposed to be finally caught up to you and you could no longer handle it. So, you blacked out," Darren explained.

"Ah, gotcha. Well, if you don't mind, I think I can handle myself, so you can get a move on," I urged.

A confused expression made its way onto Darren's face.

"You don't…want me to stay?"

"I'm fine. I don't see any reason why you should. Besides, Undertaker is going to be wondering where you are."

"You're right. Just don't forget the advice I told you. The secret vault, All Hallow's Eve, remember?"

I nodded slowly, hoping to relieve some of the anxiety in his body.

He nodded his head back at me and slipped out the door.

Boom. Gone. Last contact with civilization?

Gone.


Full speed ahead

Oh, you are not useless

We are just misguided ghosts, travelin' endlessly,

The ones we trusted the most pushed us far away


Though, seconds after it had shut, the red wooden door burst open.

A fretting Ronald Knox rushed into the parlor, from where I was residing, and stood shaking, sweat droplets starting to appear on the sides of his forehead.

"Where's the riot?" I queried nonchalantly.

"What? You're—here? Wha-how?" Ronnie's words jumbled together as he struggled to form a coherent sentence.

I laughed. "What's the matter? All I did was pass out for a few minutes. No big deal."

"Seul, I don't think you understand, your soul disappeared off the radar and we were unable to detect it for a whole hour," the Shinigami relayed. "We thought you had escaped and that we would no longer be able to fix the Phantomhive problem."

"Ah, so I'm a problem now?" I questioned. "Never mind that, I can't even do some exploring around here?"

Ronald's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What do you mean? Were you able to get out?"

"If by 'get out' you mean that I was able to leave the premises of this house and enter the real world, then yes," I responded calmly.

"What? How were you able to accomplish that?"

"You."

"Huh?"

"You. Last time you visited, you left the door ajar just a crack. But instead of being able to re-enter the Shinigami Realm, I was able to enter the human world."

"And you were off premises today, I presume?"

"Yeah, but that really takes the energy out of yah, so I ended up fainting. Not really one of my hottest moments, I admit."

"So you've been able to enter the real world? Have you interacted with anyone?" Knox's voice sounded frenetic, but I'm not exactly one for going out of my way to make others happy.

"Well technically, they interacted with me."

Ronald slapped a hand to his forehead. "Just please tell me you didn't talk to them," he pleaded.

"If they're family, does that still count?" I tried to bargain.

"Oh god, Seul, do you realize how this could affect everything? You, who doesn't exist, interacted with things, that do exist."

I shrugged. "I'm not the one who left the door open."

"All right, well, as long as none of my bosses find out, then I should be good," Ronald remarked.

"And how can you be sure of that?" I taunted.

Knox's head whipped to face my gleaming set of teeth. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, that in exchange for my silence, you'll have to do me a favor," I replied puckishly.

"What is it?"

"I want your help get me into the secret room of souls on All Hallow's Eve."

"That's…one thing that is completely forbidden in the entire HQ. If they find out-"

"-Don't let them find out. I expect you to have the necessary equipment ready by that day. It is the only day I'm allowed out of this penitentiary."

"How did you find out about this things?"

I absentmindedly picked at some dirt under my fingernails. "I have friends in dead places."

"Oh, you're hilarious. But more serious issues, how will I get the necessary genetic data needed to enter the facility? I certainly can't use my own, then they'll know I was in on this plan!"

"Then use Grell's," I stated simply.

"W-what? Just take it from right under his nose?"

I took no notice of the shock crossing the reaper's face. "He's too obsessed with the newest hot piece of ass that he won't even notice. Trust me. This will go off without a hitch, (it better), and I'll have my one night of freedom."

Ronald hesitated. "But, Seul, what will you do inside the vault?"

I smirked and tapped him on the nose. "That is for me to know, darling."


And there's no one road

We should not be the same

But I'm just a ghost

And still they echo me

They echo me in circles


Mkay, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Have a good week!

Disclaimer: I do not own "Misguided Ghosts" by Paramore.