26. My Son

I had never thought of my mother more than in that moment alone. How her face looked in that one picture-her flawless skin, like a chiseled angel made from the rays of heaven itself. Her smile, which stretched open farther than the ocean, her heart which was wider than the sky, giving out love and hope to any and all who would listen to her. Claire's red eyes, which glowed in the night, showing her only weakness, her fatal flaw, but even in that she chose to make at as right as she could. The wall she built up to hide her pain from all. I knew all of these things from that one picture I took from Jason's room. I then made theories about her from the stories, but those were the only things I knew were absolute truth. I just knew it.

But that was not the reason I was thinking of her. The reason she, and all her wonderful traits I had killed, crossed my mind was because as I looked over the faces I knew from school, all pausing midstride in the hallway to see what the commotion was about, there was a face I had never seen in person, a face I thought was buried in the ground, decomposing into dirt and ashes, and that face was staring at me.

Claire.

I blinked, thinking the illusion would go away and I would have to deal with Amber, the girl I was desperately in love with. But no, she was still there, staring at me with butterscotch eyes, the only thing that didn't match with my memory of her. But I knew this was her! This was the same presence I felt in Amber's yard, when Cody had attempted to kill me, and when I had first cheated on Amber. I felt that same presence. Then the smell was the same as that one female vampire who saved me from Cody, when Cody admitted he was stalking Amber.

It was always Claire.

She's dead, though! I killed her hadn't I? When I was born, Jason had pumped on her heart for five days. She was dead. Either that or a great actress. Or maybe Cody-

Claire-My mother!-was moving, taking me away from that thought. Her eyes connected with mine, making me shiver. She too had the same reaction, for she smiled brilliantly for one second, then realized something and turned around.

She's running away!

Something told me to follow her, a simple instinct that I obeyed suddenly. I vaguely heard Amber crying, her voice screaming at me. I didn't see Jason running up to me, confused, trying to calm Amber. Skylar was watching me, following my line of sight, but the girl I had been watching was gone, out the doors in a blur.

I sprinted down the hall, pushing angry students out of my way, trampling a small freshman, and shoving a teacher into a locker. Syd grabbed my arm, trying to hold be back, but I quickly twisted out of it and started up again. Angel wrapped her arms around my waist, stopping me for a moment, but I slammed her into the locker with a punch to the face and was out the door in five seconds flat from the time I started. No one knew how the two girls had fallen, or what had even happened in the hall. All they could see was a crying junior and a chaotic hallway.

Why were they trying to stop me? I was going to see my mom! The person I needed more than anyone, and they were trying to stop me! Anger boiled to the surface, taking me by surprise. I felt the urge to take the last step, to phase, but resisting the urge; I took a sniff of the open air and followed the scent I had just now realized was my mother's.

I soon figured out that she had been all over the place. Her scent was every where I went. Down the street, in the school, at my house, the homeless shelter, and the hidden path we took when running to Forks. She had followed us, seen us, so why had she not appeared to us? Why hide? Did she not was to be with us? Did she not like me? Was I the reason of all her pain?

With crossing the road, I hit a fresh scent. I skidded, and turned left, never stopping, and followed the path she had only taken just a few seconds ago. It was covered with werewolf scent, meant to throw me off, but I was so used to it, I barely registered that it was even there. I saw a blur of blonde hair rounding a house and sped up, using the speed that Claire had given me. Who knew I would be using it to chase her down.

But why run from me? I'm her son, doesn't that mean anything?

I came up hard on her heels, my hand outstretched. I thought had her until she took off again, with some speed I didn't have. I chased her still, feeling hopeless, into the woods, a good ten miles until I finally came to the truth.

She was gone. My mother, the one I've needed for so long, the one I killed, the one I loved without meeting her, ran from me and now I've never felt so alone in my life.

I sank to my knees, feeling my heart break in two. It was different from Amber, so different. This woman I had never met was a part of me that no one knew, and I had a chance to finally touch her, and now she was gone.

So many thoughts, oh my god there were so many thoughts. So many thoughts in fact that I had no idea what I was even thinking. All I knew was that I needed my mom.

A small whimper slid through my lips. Then that whimper escalated from a cry, then to an agonized scream of a man who has lost everything. And I had truly lost it all. I had just lost Amber, the only I had to live for, and now I had my mom for one fleeting moment, and now I had it ripped from me too.

Another scream, another hole in my heart, ripping it in two. I pounded my fists on the ground, burying my face in the dirt.

An image of Cody killing me crossed my mind. The fact that I wanted it to happen made my stomach turn.

No! NO! No! This couldn't be happening! I pushed my hands through my hair, tempting myself to pull it out, when I saw a shadow rising from behind me. For a moment I thought it was Cody, coming to end it, just like I secretly wanted him to. I stood unsteadily, promising that I was going to fight him to the death if I was going to die by his hands, not by begging him to.

That is when I came face to face with the girl I had been chasing with my life.

Claire.

My heart skipped a beat just by thinking of her name.

The photo had not done my mother justice. She was much more beautiful, more beautiful than any human or vampire I had ever seen, and I had seen many. Her skin was white as snow, a flawless slab of marble carved by God himself. Every feature on her face was perfect-the wide almond shape of her eyes, the way her cheek bones were soft under her skin, yet the most prominent thing about her face. The nose was sculpted better than a perfect painting, her chin just a part of the masterpiece. The lips were a pale white, more colored than the skin, but it looked like she was suffering from hypothermia. Her hair was a golden blonde, shimmering around her like a pulsing light, hanging down past her shoulders. Her arms hung loosely at her shoulders, down to her mid-thigh. Most volleyball players would kill for arms that long. Her shoulders were broad, but relaxed, showing that she didn't like to stress. I skipped her chest, way to awkward to think about, and moved to her waist. She was curved down at her waist, not as skinny as little Angel or Alice, but no one would dare call her fat. She was well muscled in her abs, her pants clinging to her well formed skin. Her torso wasn't as long as her legs. And her calves, well they reminded me of mine, big and built for speed. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on.

Her eyes were the only thing that made me doubt who she was, though my body knew that she was Claire, my mother. They were a warm brown, light after hunting animals. But everyone had said she preyed on humans, saying that animal blood had no affect on her. My picture proved it. So did she change after all these years?

Though it wasn't just the way she looked that made her breathtaking-it was the way she was standing, the way her hand was on her hip. She just pulsed power around her like an electric wire. For a moment I was lost in thought, taking in some of her core power, seeing it in her soul. I was actually looking into her soul. It was dark in there, very dark, a place for hiding no doubt, but at the very end of the swirls of black cloud was a faint light, so faint you wouldn't see it unless you knew what you were looking for. I did. I knew Claire was a wonderful creature, the best this world has seen. And it was in that light that I sensed her true power, the power of life and death. It revealed her strength, her raw strength that she proved time and time again. Yet there was a soft gold in the middle of it all, showing her tender heart caught in the middle of all the lies, death, and misfortune. It showed all of her hard times she had been through, the ones she had lived through…and ones thing she wasn't strong enough to handle.

It was all there, clear as day, every aspect of her life, laid out for me to see. I didn't have memories, but I had the feelings of Claire in my grasp. She was a special soul, a kind person who was trapped in evil, fighting her own nature desperately. She didn't want to be a monster.

I sharp stab hit my consciousness, and I realized it came from Claire. I was shoved out of her soul, out of her world, and brought right back into mine. I had no right to do that, I knew, but something about her drew me to her. Claire had pushed me out. I could sense that she felt uncomfortable about me being in her head, a place where she even hated, and she didn't meant o cause me pain. It was just a knee jerk reaction.

So much knowledge I had gained from just one minute inside her head. I felt light on my feet. Here I was, standing in front of my mom and all I could think about was her head. Say something, Jon! But what could I say? 'Hi, I'm your son. I don't believe we've met', then give her my hand to shake? That seemed a little formal, non the less stupid. My first words to her had to mean something; they had to show that I knew who she was and that I loved her.

What if she didn't love me? Do moms have to love their children? Not exactly. I've seen stories on the news where moms kill their own children. Would she hate me? Resent me? Want me to die for killing her? Just one little child was able to take down the great Claire Emerson. Would she be angry about it? I thought back to how much her scent was around the neighborhood. Has she been watching me? Does she know of all the things I've done? All those girls? God, she must be ashamed of me! What about my fight with Jason? Me cheating on Amber? She must know everything if she was thee to save my life not once, but twice! She knew me before I even knew her, and I bet she wishes I was never born. I'm such an idiot. Stupid stupid stupid!

She wasn't smiling, but merely looking at me with this expression that I recognized as some sort of pain.

I took small steps towards her, praying that she wouldn't run again. At some point a few minutes later of careful steps, I was close enough to taste her scent, to feel the charge of her skin. I didn't even realize how much I towered over her. I reached out and caressed her cheek, making sure she was real. There was a small spark when I touched her, making me jump, but I didn't pull away. I felt her face, her hair, sniffed around her, familiarizing myself to her. It felt so right. I had no right to touch her of course, much less look at her, but she was so beautiful, and she was my mother. I knew it in the bottom of my heart.

I took a step back, hesitant; when she still didn't smile, or even recognize that she knew me. She just kept that blank, pain filled stair.

"Mom?" my voice was small, like she was Goliath and I was little David with the sling shot.

Her smile sent a wave of warmth through my body, coursing though my veins. She breathed and closed her eyes. When she opened them up, she started to laugh like a young child who had just discovered friends. She threw her arms in the air, then around my neck.

"Oh, Jonathan, my son." Another bubble of giggles from Claire, the most beautiful woman in the world.

My son, the words I have wanted to hear for so long. I never wanted this moment to end.