Chapter Twenty-Eight
Naru opened his eyes to find himself on the ground, shrouded in a pale globe of light. Beyond the edge of the light, everything was inky, empty blackness. He blinked a few more times, to make sure this wasn't some trick brought on by blurred vision. His surroundings stayed the same, even as he rubbed his eyes. Strange…
He took a quick inventory, mentally running through his body looking for aches and discomfort, anything that could indicate a serious condition. After over-exerting himself, he usually felt a laundry list of pains; a severe headache, muscle aches, vertigo, nausea, and general fatigue were all pretty typical after-effects. With a start, Naru realized that he felt fine. More than fine, really. His whole body felt nearly weightless, and he had more energy than he could remember having since he was a child.
Naru sat up, reveling in the lightness of his limbs. Slowly the analytical part of his brain began to kick in. This is…wrong. This isn't where I'm supposed to be…I'm supposed to be in the hospital…
He glanced cautiously over each shoulder, scanning the darkness around him. He saw no movement. Perhaps I'm dead. Given the evidence, that seems to be the likeliest scenario. The thought came to him with cold indifference. He felt no fear, no wonder at the situation, only a disdainful kind of curiosity, the same feeling he had approached most of his life with. He stood up and stretched his whole body, a yawn escaping him as he flexed the muscles in his jaw.
Footsteps grew louder behind him, the sound of gym shoes slapping against concrete seeming to begin out of nowhere. Naru kept his breathing slow and controlled, even as his heart spiked, his blood surging. He turned around carefully, avoiding any sudden movements.
"Naru!" a voice called out. Only the accent was English, not Japanese, and for the first time in years, Naru heard his true nickname, "Noll."
"…Gene?" His voice was barely above a whisper, and full of disbelief. A cold weight settled in his chest. "So I am…"
Gene grew closer, his eyes warm and his smile wide. "No," he said, shaking his head. "You're asleep. Not…like me." He seemed embarrassed, as if being dead were something shameful.
Oliver's brain felt paralyzed; numb. All those years he'd devoted to finding his brother's killer, all those years he'd felt so sick with anger at whoever had torn them apart, and now…how could he even put those feelings into words?
But Gene didn't need words to understand what his brother was thinking. Gene smiled. "You were always so afraid of showing any emotion. Come here." Without warning, Gene wrapped his arms around his brother, pulling him close.
Oliver stiffened. "Gene, I—"
"Hush. We don't have much time."
Oliver relaxed slightly, and put his arms around his twin, though he still felt awkward. "Are you a dream?"
Gene pulled away, his hands resting on Oliver's shoulders, his elbows straight. "You're asleep, but I'm real. Being unconscious brought you close enough to the spirit world for me to find you, but I'm too weak to stay long." A crack appeared in Gene's otherwise sunny smile.
A million questions burst in Oliver's head, so many that he had no idea where to even start. His head was starting to feel fuzzy. "Weak? What happened? Where do you have to go?"
"I shielded Mai from your energy, to separate her spirit from the grip of that Thing. I drew on some of your power, just like old times." Gene's smile seemed pained now. "But the blast…the energy I had to expend…my soul is no longer tethered to Mai's, is no longer tied to this world. I'm being pulled away."
Already Gene was beginning to look faded, hazy. The light around them dimmed more and more with each moment that passed. Oliver's head began to throb, the pain getting worse each time his heart beat.
"Gene, why didn't you ever come to me? Why Mai?" There was something desperate in Oliver's voice, something almost child-like.
Gene's smile fell completely. "I tried, Noll. You had a wall up. You're too good at keeping people out."
Oliver felt like he'd been punched in the gut. "But I was trying to find you, I was—"
"You can't keep your emotions locked down so much. You need to start opening up, letting people in, telling them how you feel." Gene's eyes were full of pity, but his body was becoming foggier, verging on transparency.
Oliver's headache grew steadily worse, and his arms and legs began to feel heavy, weak.
"We're running out of time," Gene said quietly.
"Gene, I'm…I'm sorry. I miss you. I love you. I…I wish you didn't have to go." Oliver spoke haltingly, fighting the urge to bottle up his emotions and stow them away. "Is there any way to—"
Gene shook his head. "No. I don't have a choice. I love you too, Noll. And please, remember to smile more. For me."
Oliver lunched forward and wrapped his arms tightly around his brother's insubstantial form. "Please, stay," he said, his voice choking.
"Bye, Noll. Take care of yourself." Gene's voice sounded far away.
Oliver held on tighter, but his brother's spirit slipped through his arms like sand.
When I finally came to, my mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and my eyelids felt like they were made of sandpaper. For a second, I couldn't remember where I was, or why I had been asleep.
"How are you feeling?" a woman asked.
Mai?
I opened my eyes and found Ayako instead. And suddenly I remembered what had put me to sleep in the first place. The memory sent a jolt through my limbs, and I flailed for a moment, jerking upright, not sure where to go or what to do, but aware that I had to do something.
"Whoa there, what are you doing? You need to stay in bed." Ayako spoke gently, but there was a stern tone to her voice that made her sound almost motherly.
"I have to go see Mai, see if I can get back in her head. She has to still be in there, I refuse to believe that that thing devoured her spirit. There's no way she'd let that happen. Where's Naru? We need to come up with a plan…" My thoughts all came out in a rush, each word leaving my mouth the second it was in my brain. I had a splitting headache that seemed to emanate from the back of my head, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was the painful nausea in the pit of my stomach that flared up whenever I thought of a life without Mai.
I tried to sit up, but Ayako pressed firmly against my shoulders, forcing me to lie back down. "You need to stay in bed, otherwise the doctors will have a fit. I can go get a nurse, see if they'll let you use a wheelchair to get around…" There was an edge of anxiety in her tone.
"Ayako…what's wrong…"
She paused, then looked away. "Neither Mai nor Naru have woken up yet."
My whole body went still. "How long was I out?"
"Nearly two days. Lin says he's never seen Naru unconscious for this long, except the one time he was possessed. The poor man's desolate. He thinks he pushed Naru too hard, and all that power destroyed some vital part of Naru's spirit."
I raised a hand and rubbed the nape of my neck, trying to alleviate some of the pulsing pain. "Naru would have done that anyway, stubborn bastard that he is."
Ayako nodded, though the tension didn't leave her face. "I'll go see about that wheelchair. The others will want to see you."
"Thanks, Ayako." She waved away my gratitude and left the room.
For the first time, I took stock of my situation. They'd moved me to a different room, a private one, probably thanks to more of Naru's money. It was smaller than Mai's room, but quieter. The whole place made me anxious, like I was closed in.
It felt like forever until Ayako came back. While I waited, my mind filled up with all the worst possible scenarios. Maybe my friends are dead…maybe we never really got rid of the spirit…maybe the spirit has taken over Mai's body and there's nothing left of her… Once Ayako finally returned with a wheelchair-toting nurse in tow, I had practically driven myself insane with worry.
The nurse, a young woman with strawberry blonde hair, smiled kindly as she brought the wheelchair around to the side of my bed. "We're going to remove your IV first, ok?"
I nodded, trying not to show how anxious I was to be out of bed. The nurse peeled the tape off (painfully taking several hairs with it) and pulled out the IV, and I tried not to focus on the way the needle pulled against my skin.
She taped a small piece of gauze over the tiny hole, and straightened, pulling the wheelchair closer to the bed and into a better position. "Now we want you to take it easy, Mr. Takigawa, so no walking yet. Your body's been through a lot, we don't want to cause any more unnecessary strain."
I nodded, though I was barely listening. At that point I would have agreed to anything as long as I got to see Mai.
The nurse and Ayako helped guide me into the chair. Standing up from the bed proved far harder than I had anticipated, and my head was spinning as I sank gratefully into the chair.
"I can take it from here," Ayako said, taking hold of the handles of my chair.
In front of me, the nurse nodded. To me, she said, "It's going to take a while to get your body back up to speed, so just take it slow and don't over-stress yourself again, either your body or your mind. Okay?"
"Of course, I'll be careful," I said, wondering how much this woman really knew about the "stress" I'd been dealing with.
"Mai's room is just down this hallway," Ayako said as we followed the nurse out of the room.
I didn't recognize the hallway; apparently we'd been moved to a completely different part of the hospital while I slept. I'm sure the administrators were hoping to contain us and minimize the damage after what we'd done to Mai's (former) room. That'll be tough for Naru to cover up, I thought. A quieter, darker voice responded: …if he wakes up. It was getting harder to stay positive.
Halfway down the hall, John burst out of a door, wide-eyed. His eyes grew wider when he saw me, and rushed to meet us.
"Houshou, thank God you woke up. We were so worried."
I brushed a hand through my still-unwashed hair, trying to hide my embarrassment. "No need to make a fuss over—"
John interrupted me. "Mai just opened her eyes."
"WHAT," Ayako and I both yelled, and an instant later Ayako was running, shoving my wheelchair ahead of her at breakneck speed.
My heart was pounding. I wanted to be thrilled, and I guess part of me was, but mostly I was filled with dread. It can't be this easy. Something bad is going to happen. There's no way everything is going to suddenly be "happily ever after" that fast.
But as we entered the room, Ayako heavily out of breath behind me, I saw Mai sitting up and smiling, and all that apprehension melted away. In the back of my mind, an echo of Mai's voice sounded: "When we get out of here, and I jump up and kiss you in front of everyone, remember this moment." I felt a flutter in my chest.
Behind me, Ayako was still wheezing, so I took hold of the wheels of my chair and pushed myself closer to Mai's bed.
"Monk! It's so good to see you!"
I felt a tiny jolt in my heart, and I blinked heavily, as if dazed. I couldn't remember the last time she had called me "Monk." It had usually been "Houshou" in the dreams. Maybe she's trying to keep our…relationship, or whatever we have, a secret…maybe she regrets kissing me…
I tried to push those thoughts away. I'm sure there's a logical explanation, I told myself, and chose instead to focus on my elation at seeing Mai awake for the first time in almost a year.
"It's good to see you too, Mai. We've been so worried about you," I said carefully, though I couldn't help but smile. I was talking to her, I was actually talking to Mai in person. It felt like Christmas.
She was still pale, and far too thin, but when she smiled back at me it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. "So what are you doing in a wheelchair?" she asked. "You're not hurt, are you?"
The immediate concern on her face made me laugh. "You're in a coma for months, and the first thing you do is ask how I'm feeling?"
Her face fell, her eyebrows drawing together, confused. "What?"
My heart stuttered. "…You've been in a coma for over 3 months…You…you were possessed…" I had no idea where to even begin to explain. I could see the confusion growing on her face as I spoke. No…
I turned to look at John over my shoulder. He looked horrified. "As soon as she woke up, I ran to get you guys. She was still a little groggy, so I just told her I'd be right back. I had no idea…"
I turned back to Mai. She looked scared now. "Guys…what happened to me? Why are you all here?"
I spoke slowly. "Mai…what's the last thing you remember?"
She bit her lip, then closed her eyes, wincing slightly. "Everything's so jumbled…I remember being sick? But I don't know with what…" She pressed her fingers to her temples, probably trying to fight off the start of a headache. She opened her eyes and groaned. "Nothing. I can't remember anything. I remember who I am, I remember my friends and my classes, but when I try to remember recent events…" She winced again. "Damn, my head hurts."
I exchanged heavy glances with John and Ayako, my stomach filled with lead. My throat felt thick as I looked down at my hands. Mai's dream voice echoed again in my head: "But Houshou...this isn't real." I fought down the bitter laugh that rose like bile in my throat.
I hadn't even considered the possibility that Mai might not remember our time together. I had always assumed it was all or nothing, either we made it out alive and in love, or one or both of us were dead. All the plans I'd made for when we "got out" relied on the assumption that Mai would remember the time we spent together in her head.
It also relied on the assumption that everything that had happened inside Mai's head hadn't been part of my imagination.
My breath caught in my chest. An echo of a different voice sounded in my head. "Let's play a game…"
No…No it was real…it had to be…
My mind went lurching from one thought to the next, like a flimsy boat fighting a storm. But…Gene…he was there, and Mai and I fought back, and we kissed, and she said…
"Let's play a game. Let's play a game. LET'S PLAY A GAME!"
I suddenly felt very dizzy.
"Takigawa, are you alright?"
"Yeah. Peachy. Why?" I tried to hide the nausea in my voice, my words short and clipped. I rubbed at my temples, wincing my eyes shut, hoping that it looked like a run-of-the-mill, post-coma headache rather than soul-crushing, nightmarish doubt.
John gently touched my shoulder. "We were just trying to fill Mai in on…well, everything. We asked you to fill in the gaps, but you didn't seem to hear us. Do you need to go lay back down?"
I looked up and saw Mai's eyes wide with concern. "The sooner you realize that this isn't reality, the easier this whole thing will be." I guess I should have listened, eh Mai?
"Houshou, you can go lay back down, I don't need to hear the whole story right now," Mai said, her voice still raspy with disuse.
The sound of my name in her mouth was like a knife in my gut. I took a deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. You're a selfish bastard, Takigawa, I told myself. So Mai didn't remember us and…whatever we had been for those few brief days. At least she was alive. Maybe it's better this way. For her. For both of us. I tried to make the thought positive, but there was still a dark, bitter tinge to it.
"No, I…I'm fine. Just tired is all. Um…I guess I'll start from the beginning, then."
The worry still didn't leave Mai's face. It was hard not to reach out and take her hand, but I resisted, keeping my hands locked in an iron-tight ball in my lap.
I told her about the dreams, about waking up with the hospital bracelet in my hand, the frantic flight to Chicago. I told her about meeting her friends and searching her room, about Amanda's possession and betrayal. I told her all of it…except about us. I left out the feel of her hand in mine, the joy of kissing her, the softness of her skin. It took every ounce of willpower I had to not reach out and run my fingers gently along her forearm, to finally feel the warmth of her in real life.
You don't really know what her skin feels like, a sneering voice said. It was all in your head. Why on earth would she ever stoop so low as to kiss you?
I had lost the will to argue with my inner pessimist. My bitterness tasted like acid, but I couldn't see how to refute it. She's better off, I told myself. I just want what's best for her. Though I knew that thought was right, it still didn't lift that cold weight off my chest.
As we finished our retelling, Mai looked dazed. "I can't believe…this is just so much to take in. Wow." She reached a shaking hand to rub her eye, and my stomach lurched at how pencil-thin her arm was. Even the small motion of lifting her hand to her face seemed to be too much, and her arm fell heavily back into her lap. "Hey, Ayako?" Mai said, her voice tiny and ashamed. "Could you…I can't lift that cup of water…"
Ayako was at her side before Mai finished speaking. "Hush, it's alright," she said, her voice suddenly soothing and motherly in a way I heard so rarely from her. She held the cup of water and guided the straw to Mai's mouth, all while humming low, contented notes of a song I didn't recognize.
I could see from the way Mai began to blink heavily, from the way her lips began to tighten and shift, that this small act of kindness was too much for her.
"Uh, John, could you take me to go see Naru? Maybe something has changed." I spoke casually, looking down and to the side, looking everywhere but at Mai's desperate attempt to hold herself together.
"Um, sure. The nurse said the doctor would be here soon, Ayako, just so you know. They'll want to take a look at Mai, make sure she's really okay." Ayako nodded. "We'll be back soon, okay Mai?"
Mai bit her lip and nodded as well. "Um…if Naru wakes up, could you…could you tell him I said thank you?" Her voice was thick, and she pronounced each word with careful effort to try and mask her emotions.
I tried to smile, but it was all tight-lipped and angled wrong. "Of course. But you'll be able to tell him that yourself soon enough."
As John wheeled me out of the room, I could hear Mai quietly crying, could hear all of her pain, her shame, her worry pouring out of her. I should have been with her, should have been holding her hand and stroking her knuckles and finding a way to make her laugh. But instead I was out in the hallway, a bitter, selfish coward, my head spinning as I tried to separate fact from fiction.
A/N: Sorry about the wait between chapters, y'all, but thanks for your patience! I make you wait so long and then I give you a sad chapter...what a jerk. But! This story isn't over yet! It seems to keep getting longer and longer in my brain... there will be an ending though, I assure you. Just...not in the next few chapters (hopefully you think that's a good thing!).
As always, thank you for the reviews and follows and what-not! You're all far too kind, and I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the story as much as I'm enjoying writing it!
Chapter 29 is typed up and should be edited and posted sometime next week, so be on the lookout for that.
Let me know what y'all think!
