CHAPTER 28 – LEARNING TO READ THE NEWSPAPERS LIKE A PRO

Xenophilius was happy to see us again, although he apparently had received a complete news update from Luna. It was also clear that he had observed Harry and me chatting away with great intensity, following our short meeting with McGonagall. He made one brief attempt to inquire whether he had just witnessed anything newsworthy and then dropped the subject.

Harry and I chatted with him about the Goblin art exhibition, the details of the final repairs to the Circle of the Goblins, including our suspicions of sabotage and the use of Witch Sculpting to complete the final repairs. Xenophilius dragged out of Harry his thoughts and experiences supervising two much older and much more experienced members of his staff. They also talked about what a great resource and help Cotto was and about how much Harry enjoyed working with Callista and had enjoyed working with the very efficient and energetic Percy. Harry admitted to certain difficulties in working for his father-in-law, being both a student and Deputy Minister at Hogwarts, and how good it felt to still be working with the friends he had met in his early Hogwarts days. They discussed their impressions of King Goblanze, the former Lord Montaigne, Bruce, and Ruppasta.

The discussion continued long into the night in the Gryffindor common room, with Harry discoursing on his views concerning justice and what he hoped to accomplish in his new job. He went back to the campaign platform of bringing the various groups of Wizards together again and swore that the administration was not seeking any sort of vengeance on Death Eater and Bruce supporters. "We will be very happy to welcome back those who are willing to stop fighting the old fight. We've only prosecuted the worst of the worst and have agreed to reduced sentences for some not very good people – Bruce and his father, as well as the Malfoys, are examples."

Both Harry and Cissy, as well as I, talked about the Covenant and how we wanted to see it modified to produce a new era of peace for all magical creatures. Cotto talked about the importance of the Elf sanctuary and how important he felt the Goblins sanctuary was. Harry talked at length about the need to modernize and increase the Wizard economy. He explained what he thought his new loan agency could accomplish and why it was so important that Gringotts finally made loans again. We all talked about the importance of Hogwarts and what it could become, congratulating the headmaster on the changes she had already made. Quite a few Gryffindors stayed in the common room to listen to our discussion with Xenophilius. The need to get the kids to bed was likely what decided Harry that, at a little past midnight, it was time to call a halt and head back to our apartment. Xenophilius decided that he would sleep over in the boys' dorm and join us for breakfast.

Breakfast brought a first-time treat – we got to read the morning papers right along with Xenophilius, who maintained a running commentary, especially regarding the manifold inadequacies of the Daily Prophet.

POTTER ARRIVES FOR WORK HUNG OVER

GOT TO REST THOSE OLD BONES

CAN AN OVERDOSE OF CHOCOLATE SAVE THIS ADMINISTRATION?

WITCHES PLEAD FOR ONE OF THEIR OWN

MY INTERVIEW WITH THE DEPUTY MINISTER

A FEW CORRECTIONS FROM YESTERDAY

"Frankly, I think a lot of those headlines are weak," Xenophilius told us. "Apart from the way they always seem to deliberately choose the blandest possible header for Ernie's work, I think the other headlines could use punching up. I admit the first one grabs for your attention, but after that …. bleck… boring! Assuming for the sake of discussion that they have caught our attention enough to induce us to read what they wrote, let's dive in and see what tripe they have for today...

"Okay, the first article has the splashy headline, but the story adds nothing. I assume you had been drinking and hadn't slept the night before, as Mr. Frakes suggests to us. Still, he then goes on to describe emotional confusion verging on panic by those around you, with you being the only sober, forgive me – I couldn't help myself, person in the bunch.

"Article two… hmm… you give a half day off, earned vacation time as I understand it, to a valued veteran prosecutor who has been the victim of a very nasty story in Frakes' own rag, under his own name. Nothing else there, other than an appeal to Frakes' old conservative readers that they should be very upset that Madam Bones is living with a young Witch. Is that really supposed to shock the reader? Anyway, they already played that card yesterday. So… this story boils down to prosecutor takes a half days' vacation. I guess if that's all he had, he did well to fill over half a page with it.

"Article three… are the readers really expected to be frightened by the consumption of hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies? Perhaps it's terribly disturbing to have a dozen or more Witches of questionable sexuality together in one spot, being served cookies by yet another Witch… Ooh, I'm both scared out of my wits and so revolted that I can't even think of another few strips of this most excellent bacon. I must hand it to Frakes. When you've been in the press business if I have, you must learn to deal with slack news days. I wouldn't have thought it possible to get a full page out of hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies. The lad has a gift, perverse, but a gift, nonetheless.

"Article four… aha, I think I spot some actual news. Demanding extreme clemency for an attempted kidnapper of the Deputy Minister is a bit much, especially such a notorious case involving an attempted murder, two suicides, and the attempted bombing of Muggles. This shows a certain style, however. Frakes has set a trap for Harry. If Harry is merciful, then he appears weak in surrendering to this gaggle of Witches. Witches of probable moral turpitude, I might add. If he refuses, the stage is set to cast him as a vindictive wretch who can't offer forgiveness, over what will likely next be described as an elaborate practical joke gone awry. I could take a measure of pride in this column, had I written it. I'm not sure why they buried it so deep, however.

"Article five… Ernie is a delight to read. I'm not unhappy with the Patil sisters, but Ernie would have been a prize catch. I see you gave him a lot of material, but at least some fresh goodies were left to me. I'll do you proud, Harry.

"Article six… Ernie again. I guess it's just too embarrassing for Frakes to do retractions two days in a row. Did you really Apparate him to the Circle of the Goblins to show that the two most significant problems had indeed been fixed? He could see for himself through the visualiser that the repairs had been completed properly and the Circle was working perfectly, just as you had said? It should certainly curdle Frakes' morning coffee to read that. No wonder he couldn't man up and write the retraction himself.

"Well, there you have it. One paper, so many problems. On the other hand, I offer you what the Patil sisters and I produced for our readers. Note that we even managed to get some of last night's interview with Harry into press, already. I just popped back to my house quickly and gave some good notes to the Patils."

"You have even more disdain for The Daily Prophet than I do and that's really something," I told Xenophilius.

"I probably study it more closely and read it with an editor's eye. Now, let's see what journalism is supposed to be," he said, theatrically unfolding and fluffing up the day's edition of The Quibbler. "You won't find any talk of chocolate chip cookies in here. If Frakes wanted to spend all that time on cookies and hot chocolate, he could have at least provided a recipe, for his readers to produce the treats at home. That would have also advanced his goal of attacking the Sisterhood, by taking a bite and a sip out of the business of one of their number."

I read the headlines:

MINISTER MAKES PEACE WITH THE SISTERHOOD

HOW THE GRINGOTTS CIRCLE WAS FINISHED SO QUICKLY

MAGIC RETURNS TO STAY-WIZARDS IN NORTH OF ENGLAND ARE JUBILANT

THE SEARCH FOR DELORES UMBRIDGE

GOBLIN ELECTION BEGINS WITH ART EXHIBIT

DOES FRAKES REALLY VIEW THICKNESSE AS LEGIT MINISTER?

Xenophilius walked us through each of these articles. "Take the first article. Without attacking the Minister or Deputy Minister, I clearly spell out the grievances of the Witches at their under-representation in the new government. I explain how easy it is for even Wizards of good intention to ignore extremely qualified Witches when staffing an organisation. I recount all that McGonagall has done, both in fighting Voldemort and in rebuilding Hogwarts. I express her desire that Slytherins feel free to return and her promise to be a neutral provider of protection and a quality education for all who come to Hogwarts. I explain that Madam Bones has done absolutely nothing wrong and neither has Professor Celine. I explain what each of them brings to the new government. I paint both Arthur and Harry as reasonable leaders, eager to make amends for unintended slights and to do what is best for all of us. My reader learns a lot more about both how the government functions and the thinking of its key members. As you should know, the greatest political struggle of the moment is within the government, not between the Minister's group and the opposition. I help my readers to understand this.

"The second article points out the Prophet's sloppy journalism in a way that is wholly factual. I include pictures of the completed repairs, which the Prophet said were simply ignored by Harry. I hint that sabotage might have been responsible for the problems reported by The Prophet and wonder how they could have known of the sabotage, unless they employed the saboteur, or the saboteur was their source. They are in fact challenged to disclose what they know about the sabotage or face the wrath of their most loyal conservative readers in the north of England. Harry looks like an intelligent risk taker and our Witches, Ginny and Professor Celine, look like concerned, capable heroes.

"The third article personalises the importance of what was done by all of you who hurried the repairs to completion. Heart-warming stories that give me a chance to both rub Barnabas's nose in his reporter's error and ingratiate myself to his core audience. None of the citizens whom I quote are normally readers of my paper, but they will buy today's copy to see what I say about them and as a memento. Some may become subscribers. They will at least get my take on all the news of the day. The Prophet may want to attack what I wrote, but they would be attacking their own supporters.

"The fourth article is my public service piece, throwing out the bait for Harry to capture the spy at the Ministry. I am happy to be a good citizen and even happier knowing what a good position this puts me in for a follow-up story. The piece is perfectly fine journalism, I don't report anything that is untrue. Let me see… magical lock boxes found at Barty's hideout, buried at Thicknesses', buried at home of Stowes, and ditched in abandoned quarry lake near Stowe house… key in Silas's boot…items from Thicknesse and Barty hideouts taken to Ministry for Potter to study… Potter hopeful that these items and a certain item taken from the Montaigne formerly known as Lord will allow the boxes to be opened and their contents examined. Harry assured me that he is hopeful and will be trying all the possible combinations over the next day or two. So, I've laid out a fine adventure for my readers and a trap for our spy.

"The fifth article is a nice explication of the ways of another magical species. It also affirms that progress toward democracy is being achieved since the fall of Ruppasta. It should make my readers feel both wiser and safer.

"I'm very fond of the last article, especially since Frakes was stupid enough not to retract his article. I gleefully catch him in a politically motivated whopper of a falsehood. It's nice to do so in an edition where I will have so many readers from the north of England. I ask, 'do readers remember an election for Thicknesse, which I somehow slept through?' I then reprise how he came to power as the legitimate head of the aurors, used that position to enrich himself, manipulated Scrimgeour into ignoring the rise of Voldemort, turned on his boss, and seized power by force and murder. I recount all his extra-legal actions, including the trial of the members of many respected Wizard families, who were hounded as being of mixed blood. That was a nasty business that touched over half of Wizarding families in one way or another. Nothing from the Voldemort era still causes so much anger. Frakes has for some reason chosen to lash his future to that awful legacy. Well, it will be interesting to watch him try to dig out of that hole. I end by observing that Arthur and Harry not only are in office based upon a fair election, but that they won overwhelmingly.

"Now you see how real journalism is done."

"I like your articles and they are indeed truthful," Hermione told him, "but aren't your articles also slanted, only to the opposite side of those in the Daily Prophet?"

"Every writer or paper has something of a slant. I accuse the Prophet of being so slanted that they forsake the truth and so inept that a first year can see through their distortions. An effective polemic needs more truth than Frakes provides. His articles don't even stir the emotions. It's just a collection of stupid lies and bland filler."

"This has been most enlightening," Neville congratulated Xenophilius. "I'm writing a book on Rita Skeeter; in fact, I've already begun work on it. Your insights give me some thoughts for an additional chapter."

I may have stuck my foot in mouth, when I sought to congratulate Xenophilius: "The Quibbler has certainly come a long way since its emphasis on Wrackspurts. I think it by far the best paper."

Xenophilius gave me such a look that I thought I might cry. Head tilted to the side, he admitted "my Wrackspurts have been with me since halfway through my Hogwarts days. Most people have found them to be at least mildly amusing. I still get complaints from loyal readers asking for more of the old articles. I'm limited to one per month. That's the Patil's condition for continuing to work for me. They say it would be too embarrassing if we published too many of those stories. I can't bear to lose the Patil sisters. They are bright and such good company. Part of their compensation is free room and board. I don't think that I could survive the day without them. Luna's mother kept my Wrackspurts largely at bay and Luna kept me grounded when she was at home. Now that chore falls to the Patils.

"In the Voldemort era, Wrackspurts were a very safe thing to write about. If you told the truth, your life was in danger. That was fine for me, but I had Luna to think about. Raising her on my own, in the age of Voldemort was a huge challenge. Apart from your crew, I was one of the few who truly believed that Voldemort was back. I knew how much danger my Luna was in and how much worse it could be because of me. Wrackspurts were safe; there were days when I saw them. I couldn't bring myself to lie about politics and it just seemed too dangerous to tell the truth too frequently. Each truthful article was followed by an unmistakable message that someone on high had read and not appreciated my story. I wasn't as brave then as I am now.

"Those were dark days to try to be an honest journalist. It took a certain talent to write clearly and amusingly about Wrackspurts and other wild things most Witches and Wizards can't see. They were my Thestrals. It became a game. My readers wrote me with guesses about which government official each of my barely visible creatures represented. I often played to that. I could get away with so much more that way. It amused me and I had far too much alone time on my hands. Please forgive me."

I was further embarrassed to find that my words had caused a few sobs to escape his lips, bringing Luna to his side to find out what was wrong.

"Just memories of the bad old days," her father told her. "I'll be fine. It's good to sometimes remember even the bad memories. They were a big part of me." Luna looked doubtful but gave him a smile and returned to her seat.

I hastened to both change the subject and to give Xenophilius time to compose himself.

"Montaigne item?" I asked Harry.

"I have a theory that the Montaigne Keeper ring along with the key In Silas's boot will open at least one of the boxes. The other thing I want to try in combination is the key we found in Umbridge's office as well as the one she brought to Hogwarts. We'll leave the catching to the aurors, but I'm going to experiment with the boxes today, when they will indeed be in my office at the Ministry."