A/N: Alot of alerts, favorites and a few reviews, not too many of later, but I wont complain. Im very grateful that you guys are still into this fic and im doing my best to keep at it. Some of you guys will probably be upset with this chapter, lol, but what can I say? Oh and again I apologize for the whole chapter mix up thing, didnt quite think that one through I guess. *shrug* R/R please!
This Is The End, Roslyn.
Sleep indeed did not come easy for me. My body was tired but it was like my mind just wouldnt shut off. I kept searching for that cool sensation thats usually around me, but she was gone. I made her flee away from me.
So yes, this morning was...atrocious; my arm aches and my whole body hurt. Felt like I got hit by a truck. And of course, Charlie asked how the get together went, which I politely lied and said it went great. He went back to his paper and coffee and I made my way out the door for school.
Which is where you'll find me at this very moment. I do my usual routine, look for that familiar red Mercedes; its there along with that same sad face from last night.
"Great, Bella. Shes still upset."
I park my car a foot away and its then that I notice the vacant spot thats usually occupied by Emmet and the lot. I shake off that uneasiness welling up in my stomach and walk over to her. Shes leaning against the trunk of her car, looking everywhere but at me.
"Hi," Its a whisper but I can tell that she heard it from the subtle twitch in her features. Her lips are in a thin line and brows are slightly furrowed.
"Hello," I frown a bit at how cold shes being and scratch at my arm; that seems to get her attention. She gently grasps it into her hand and caresses the wound over my thin top with her thumb; I sigh at the coolness."Its bothering you.." Im not sure if its a question or a statement.
"No, its fine." I lie, peeking up at her through my lashes. Shes frowning and seems deep in thought. "Im sorry.." Im doing my best to keep the tears away; biting my lip, blinking my eyes and even scuffing my shoes against the ground.
She tenses a bit before letting my arm go with a sigh; that frown still apparent on her face. I already miss her cool hands.
"Sorry for what? You didnt..."
"-For everything. For being a klutz, for ruining the party and..and last night. What happen before you left..." She frowns deeper at this and all I want to do is fall forward into her arms.
"Bella," her head shakes. "You might at well just apologize for breathing." She smiles lightly, in spite of herself. " None of that is your fault. Nobody could have seen that coming, except..." She pauses and notices the hard look on my face, she then sighs. "As far as the arguing goes? It was a bit intense and im sorry if I frightened...or hurt you.." Shes apologizing? I ignore the question, forcing it into the back of my head and finally give into the need to feel her. I lean forward, allowing my whole body to fit into hers; she hesitates before wrapping her arms around me.
"Are you upset with me?" I sniffle into her shirt.
"No, not with you..." Is her cryptic reply. Im about to question her until I feel her lips caress my forehead.
"Come. I'll walk you to class..." If it werent for the fact that my hands had hers in a vice like grip, im more than sure she'd be keeping her distance.
*T.I.M*
Thus far, today is like any other day. Though I did notice a lack in appearances from the other Cullens. At first I figured they were just late, but when I only saw Rosalie at lunch, I knew there was more she wasnt telling me.
I take my usual seat across from Angela and right next to Rosalie. Angela is eying her strangely, no doubt from her weird behavior at lunch.
Flashback
"So, Bella. How'd your birthday go?" Mike prods from his seat beside Jessica, who seems just as curious. As expected, Rosalie tenses at his words.
"It was perfect." I lied, shifting closer to Rosalie, who was more than likely brooding. I expected all of this, but what I didnt expect was the loud huff right before she "excuses" herself.
End flashback
Brooding is exactly what I find her doing at the moment; shes completely ignoring me and pretending as though shes listening to the teacher.
"Talk to me, please?" I subtly lean over so the only ears in this conversation is ours.
"What do you want to talk about?" Her voice sounds so detached, so unlike hers, along with the nothingness on her face; it makes me cringe.
"I dont know." Maybe the fact that your being so remote? Or maybe the fact that you're the only one here, out of all your siblings? The former will bo doubt bring another argument so I go with the later of the two.
"Where's Alice?"
"With Jasper." Not even a glance.
"Is he...okay?"
"He'll be going away for awhile..."
"Oh." I fiddle with my hands for a second. "And Alice is going too?" Of course she is, Bella. He is her wife.
"Yes. She'll be gone for awhile a well. Probably to Denali..."
Theres so many questions I want to ask her. Did she have any visions yet? What had she and her family said as I slept, because I know something was said on the matter.
"What about Emmet? How is he?"
"Emmet is Emmet." My jaws set at this. Im doing my best not to snap at her but shes making it rather difficult.
"And Esme...Carlisle?" I sigh.
"Esme and Carlisle are...dealing. As is Edward..."
Dealing? What the hell does that even mean! Im getting irritated and so is my arm.
"Your arms bothering you," she notices, face softening as she watches me scratch at it. So she'll pay attention to my arm, but not me?
"Who gives a shit about my arm?" I mumble to myself, forcing my head against my desk.
We dont say anything for the remainder of the class.
By the end of the day, im a mental wreck. The tension and silence is becoming too much.
"You're coming over, right?" I ask as she silently walks me to my truck.
"You have work.." That never stop her before.
"Later, I mean. Like after work..?" She bites her lip as she contemplates this. Since when does she ever have to think about this?
"If you want me..."
"-I always want you to.." I cut off, more than a little irritably.
"Okay, then." She says indifferently, biting her lip as she looks off into the distance.
I ignore how unsure her voice sounds and hug her goodbye. "I love you."
For once today, she doesnt hesitate. She breathes me in as she holds me tight. "I love you too, Bella." She kisses my forehead and helps me into my car.
I hesitantly push my car out of the lot, watching her watch me through the rear-view mirror.
"Everything's fine, Bella. She just needs time to get over this, whatever this may be. Everything's gonna be fine and dandy, you'll see.." I keep telling myself this, trying to calm that eerie feeling in my chest.
"Last night was nothing.." I mutter to no one in particular. "Nothing happened." I shake my head in silent agreement. " Yup, nothing at all, and thats the exact reason why Alice and the others are staying away. Mmm hmm, but they'll be back in no time and all will be well..."
In denial much?
*T.I.M*
Work drags on slowly, as usual. I try to occupy my time with idle chatter with Mike, who keeps going on and on about his relations...or lack of, with Jessica. So didnt need to know any of that, but whatever.
On occasion, I text Rosalie, asking how she is, what shes doing and other things of the like. She responds in a manner that I hadnt expected. She tells me shes good, enjoying Emmet's company and thinking about me. It makes my heart flutter like it usually does and even gives me hope for better things to come.
Work ends and im more than a little eager to see Rose. I park my car in the driveway and hastily make my way to my room.
"Hey, Bells?" Dad stops me mid-step in the middle of the stairs.
"Yeah?" I turn slightly, and eye him curiously.
"Renee called. Wanted to know all about your birthday and whatnot.." Scratches at his beard before taking a sip of his beer. "Just uh, give her a call when you get a chance..."
"Will do.."
I take a breath before opening my door and I immediately frown when shes nowhere to be found. I slump and haphazardly throw my book bag on my chair and kick off my shoes.
My face flushes as I do my best not to cry and I begin the task of getting undressed and into the shower.
I turn it on cold and embrace the sensation it gives me. The water caresses me as if it was her and it does the trick of hiding my tears.
I emerge from my shower after thirty minutes, ruffling my wet hair in my towel before walking towards my dresser. My towel drops and I shiver at how cold my room seems. Turning, as I feel an usual breeze, im greeted by honey eyes. The way shes crouching tells me shes just now getting here.
"You're...here?" It was meant as a statement but came out as a question, which seems to confuse her.
"Well, yeah. I thought you wanted me to? I could leave...?" Her face scrunches up as she motions towards the window.
"-No! Its just...you werent here when I came in and I figured..."
"-I wouldnt come?" I turn my head away in shame, but even with that, I can still tell that shes smirking.
"You wanted me to though, right?" I nod my head as I see her walking toward me in my peripherals.
"Yeah. I just thought that..since you're usually here before me..." I blush at the knowing smile on her face, though it doesnt quite reach her eyes; at least her teasing hasn't changed.
"I had to go hunt." Shes in front of me now, lifting my chin so she can look me in the eyes. She stares at me for a minute, like really stares and then does something I didnt want; she frowns.
"You've been crying..." My eyes widen at her realization and I scramble to avoid her knowing gaze. "What happened?" I shake my head and preoccupy myself with finding pajamas.
"Im..im not...its nothing.." I say, pulling a shirt over my head, but of course it gets stuck. I feel her in front me, pulling it down and I purposely avoid her gaze. "If you say so, Bella.." I cringe and she wordlessly shifts onto my bed.
"Thought we could watch a movie?" She points to the case in her hand, The Fountain. "Alice told me it was your favorite awhile ago. Havent seen it, so I figured why not?"
"Um, okay.." I settle myself on the bed as she puts in the movie. Before I can even lay down, shes back, shifting me over so she can lay down with me and instinctively brings me close. I smile myself and snuggle closer to her frame.
She makes comments here and there about the movie, but for the most part we're quiet. I like it though, the quietness; Its different from the usual quietness we've had.
But soon, the movie ends and that other quietness is back.
I reach for my camera on the bedside table and take a quick flash, catching her off guard.
"What are doing?"
Flash
"Creating memories," I smile, peeking over the object before twisting it in my hand. "Mothers orders, ya know?" I climb over so that im straddling her waist. "Cant disappoint, now can we?" Its a sensuous, hushed tone, but from the way her dark eyes flicker, I know she heard it.
Flash
"Memories at twelve in the morning?" She raises a fine brow; a smirk making its way to her lips.
Flash
I shrug with my own little smirk. "Dont ya know that those are the best kind?" She leans forward, hands gliding up my sides with that smirk ever present, and gently grabs the camera out of my hands.
"Dont think mommy would find it so endearing..." She silently challenges me and I accept... with my lips.
Ive craved this for far too long; the affection, passion, everything. So im gonna take advantage of this, of whatever she gives.
She allows me to push her back against the pillow, lips still eagerly seeking hers as I link our hands together.
The kiss is frenzied yet gentle, always gentle, but I need more.
"Make love to me.." I breathe against her, watching the way her eyes seem to darken. She'll deny me, im almost positive, but I'll persist until I get what I want.
"No." No? Like I said, she'll deny me, but I'll persist.
I kiss her again this time, not caring if it gentle or not and let my hands glide against her skin. She hesitates but soon follows suit.
I caress her in places I know she cant resist; her neck, her breasts, her stomach, and finally between her legs. She moans at each caress and arches forward, forcing her her breast into my face; I suck at them through her shirt, gaining another moan.
"Make love to me," I persist again, touching her so very slowly, making her head lull back.
"Bella," Its a cross between a groan and a whine. I begin rubbing against her leg in need of some friction of my own, and she hisses. Shes fisting my sheets so hard, I hear them tearing under the force.
"Please, Rose...?" Im shamefully desperate right now, but I can care less, I need it...I need her.
"Bella, stop.." Another groan, but I continue my torture.
"Bella, STOP!" She commands, stilling my hands with her own and looks up at me with both fierce and pleading eyes.
"Why?" I breathe out, confusion, shame and disappointment marring my face. "Why dont you want me?"
"Its not that, Bella. Its just..."
"Its just what?" I sniffle; that frown line is back, along with the deep thin line of her lips.
"Its late, Bella...and you have school in the morning..."
"School?" I scoff, cause really, school is the last thing on my mind.
"Yes, school. You need to get some rest..."
"Im not tired." I rush forward, crushing her lips with my own. She allows this until the need of air becomes insistent.
"Bella," she begins warningly, shaking her head as she does. "Not tonight..."
"Then when, Rose?" I huff, defiantly crosses my arms. " Half the day you ignore me, and now you dont even want to touch me?"
Her chest heaves for a minute before she relaxes. I watch her face soften from its hard glare as she leans up on her elbows. "I just want we have to last." I look at her strangely; what we have to last? What does she mean?
"I came over here, hoping for a nice, quiet night with you. And it started that way, so why cant we just make it last and let it end that way?" Theres something else there, behind her words but i choose to overlook it. "I dont want to fight. I just want to hold you, is that so bad?" Her arms snake around me.
A strange gleam is apparent in her eyes; it almost looks as if she may cry.
"Alright," I sigh and fist my hands through her hair before pecking her on the lips. They tremble slightly.
She twist slightly, shifting us onto our sides and buries her head into my chest. "I love you, Bella.."
Its distant again, a whimper and it confuses me; I dont understand what's happening, but i wont question her, I'll just hold her tighter.
"I Love you too, rosalie."
*T.M.I*
I awaken to cold, empty bed. My guess is that she disappeared during the night. With a languid stretch I set off towards my morning routine. Wash up, get dressed and out the door for school; just like any other day.
Only its not like any other day, cause if it was, Rosalie's car would be parked next to mine and she'd be walking me to class, instead of me walking alone.
"Is it too sunny out for her?" I shake my head, dismissing the thought as I look out the window of my math class. Not a beam of light in sight.
Sighing to myself, I decide to text her for the tens time today, and still I get nothing. Anxiety is weighing heavy on my heart.
"What if something happened to her? No, no, relax, Bella. Shes a vampire, indestructible remember?"
I rack my hands through my hair nervously, and wreck my brain for an explanation, any explanation.
This goes on for the remainder of school. Go to class, text, call, no answer, and wreck my brain for answers that will not come.
Im not the only one that has taken notice to her absence though. No, Jessica made that quite clear at lunch.
Said, quote, "first her siblings, and now she disappears too? Like, what up with that? She never misses school unless its sunny out. Always, like, here, under you like a puppy..."The last part was mumbled as an afterthought and she thought I didnt catch but I did. Who wouldnt when you're being obnoxiously loud?
Whatever.
School ends and I drive home in an eerie silence. I manage to compose both myself and my thoughts by the time my driveway comes into view.
With a tired huff, I climb out of the truck and drag myself to the door. Only I dont quite make it there. I stop midway, left leg literally off the ground and stare at the figure awaiting near the brush.
"Hey, I tried texting and calling but you never replied..." My first instinct is to throw myself at her, but the look she gives me, or rather isnt giving me tells me to reframe. She doesnt look at me when I attentively reach for her. "Hey, what's wrong..?"
Nothing.
"Come. Take a walk with me..." She finally says, not even waiting for my reply. That foreboding feeling is back and I want to deny her; something tells me i should, But I cant...I wont.
I follow behind cautiously as she disappears into the nearby woods. "This is wrong," my mind keeps telling me. "Turn back!"
I dont know how long we've been walking but it seems like forever; she stops suddenly.
She turns to me, eyes purposely un-meeting and I frown.
"We're leaving.." She finally says after a minute of silence. Slowly but surely the anxiety comes back; I can hear my heart beating through my ears.
"W-why?"
"We're not aging, Bella. Carlisle' passing off as thirsty-three, but doesnt even look a day over twenty-six...people are starting to suspect..."
Shes lying, maybe not about all of it, but she is. She cant even look me in the eye.
"Okay, I just have to figure out something to tell Charlie...Renee." Denial is setting in, along with severe hyperventilation.
She looks at me then; coldly, unblinking, with the look of just nothingness, and its then that I fully realize...
"When you say...we.." I swallow, unable to finish the thought.
"I mean the rest of my family...and myself..."
Something squelches within me, within my chest, slowly ripping me in two as I stare at her, shell-shocked.
"Look, what happened with jasper...that..that what nothing.." Im pleading, begging her with my eyes to understand.
"It was nothing. Nothing but what I always expected. I promise I wont ever put you through something like that again..." She replies nonchalantly, as if it were indeed nothing.
"Please, dont do this.."
Nothing, she gives me nothing but a cold mask, eyes still looking past me instead of at me.
"You, promised...you said you wouldn't leave me. You said I was your world." Im shaking, holding myself and shaking.
I shake my head, willing the tears away, but they wont.
"You lied...when we made love, you lied. You said...you said I was your forever, Rose!"
"Im just not good for you, Bella...you're not good for me..."
"Im not...good enough.." I shake my head, admitting to what she wont say. I stare at her through my tears, still noting the void less expression on her face as she looks at everything but me. Why wont she look at me. Why cant she look at me and tell me the truth?
It frustrates me, turns my hurt into anger that I can no longer contain.
"Look at me!" I scream, taking notice to the way my command make her flinch slightly.
"You're lying," I accuse." You want to leave me, and for what...cause of my soul! You can have it, I dont care...its nothing without you!"
"Its not about you're soul, Bella. Its about doing what's right.."
Doing what's right? Clearly she doesnt know what right is.
"Stay," I beg. "Staying here, with me is what's right.."
"No, Bella.."
"Im coming!" I bellow out, taking a small step towards her; her eyes turn icy then, so cold and distant as she shakes her head.
"Bella, " her nostrils flare a bit. " I dont want you to come." Every word is spoken slowly, precisely, coldly.
I feel nauseous, confused; in a matter of hours, how did it go from her telling me she loved me to this?
"You... dont...want me?"
"No. You dont belong in my world, Bella. And I dont want you in it..." The words sound foreign to me; oddly, strange in the sense that they have spilled from her mouth. She doesnt want me.
"That...that changes things.."
"We're not good for each other, Bella." I faintly hear her repeat; I try to focus, but again, the only thing I can hear is my heartbeat. "Im tired of trying to be something im not, human..." Her lips purse and she regards me with a shake of her head. "Im just sorry I let it go on for so long.."
"Dont," I try again, desperately. "Dont do this to me, to us.."
"Its for your own good. You deserve a normal life, a chance at happiness..."
"You are my life...my happiness...I'll die without you!" My hands clutch at my chest; the slow rip is beginning to bleed out.
"No you wont." Shes near me now, in front me, showing me the slightest bit of affection by caressing my face. "You'll live. You'll get married, have kids...and be so very happy.."
Her mask slips completely for a moment as she says this, and part of me wonders if this is indeed what she envisioned or if their all lies; either way, I dont want them.
"I'd like to ask for one thing, Bella. And after that..I'll disappear. It'll be like...I never existed.
Never existed? How can she think, let alone say such a thing?
"Dont do anything reckless." I glare at the disgruntled look on her face. She thinks she can throw it all away and then make requests? "For Charlie's sake..." Is her afterthought.
My body trembles as I swat the hand on my face.
"No! You dont get to do that. You dont get to leave and make requests! I wont promise you...ever!
She embraces me then, ignores my protests and hold me tight.
"I'll always care for you, Bella." I clutch her, as tightly as I can and sob. " And you're hurting, but you'll get over it...you'll get over me..forget. And you'll be happy..."
She pulls back, wipes away a tear and gently forces my grip apart.
"Please..."
"Goodbye, Bella.." Her lips briefly touch my forehead, but before I can fully register the feeling, their gone.
She's gone.
"Rose."
She's gone.
"Rose."
"She's gone.
"Rose!"
A/N: So there you have it. Rose left, it was a must im afraid. Gotta leave so others can come in *shrug* Reviews please:)
