Chapter twenty eight
'This place is amazing.' Georgie said, as they snuggled on the sofa in front of the big glass bifold doors. The doors perfectly framed the beautiful view over the hills beyond the cottage. It was a lovely clear evening, and the sun was just starting to set.
'Well I'm glad you like it.' Charlie replied, nuzzling the top of her head with his chin. 'I just wanted somewhere we could relax together, you know. Before Amelia comes.'
'Yeah.' She nodded.
The steady thump of his heart against her cheek was comforting and she sighed contentedly. If only they could stay here forever. It had been so long since she felt so relaxed.
'Charlie.' She said softly.
'Mmm?' He mumbled, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently.
'I need to tell you something.' She hesitated. They were having such a lovely time and she didn't want to risk ruining it. But she wanted to be honest, and now felt like a good time to bring it up.
'I feel like I'm letting you down.' She said.
Charlie lifted her chin up with his fingers and stared right in to her eyes. She looked a little sad. It broke his heart to see her unhappy.
'What on earth do you mean?' He asked. 'You could never let me down, Georgie.'
She felt a lump in her throat and swallowed, trying to get rid of it before it brought tears to her eyes.
'You're so lovely.' She said. 'You do amazing things for me. Like this...' she gestured around the cottage. 'I just feel like I don't do enough for you.'
He gently wiped the tears from her eyes and a loose strand of hair off her face, before leaning in close, pressing his forehead to hers.
'Just being with you is all I need.' He replied. 'I was in a bad place before you came back to me. I don't think I could have got through it without you. You know how I feel about you.'
Georgie swallowed. 'I just... I feel helpless. I can't do half the things I used to.'
'But you will.' Charlie replied. 'You're still recovering Georgie, you need to give yourself time.'
She closed her eyes for a moment and then dipped her head, avoiding eye contact.
'I can't even give you the one thing I should be able to.' She said.
'What do you mean?' Charlie asked, puzzled.
She paused and then shook her head. 'Nothing. Sorry I'm just being stupid. Just having a moment. Must be the 4am start.' She grinned, and he smiled back.
'Yeah sorry about that.' He said. 'I wanted to make the most of being here all day. Maybe we could have left a bit later though.'
She snuggled back in to him, taking a deep breath as she closed her eyes.
'You can tell me anything, you know.' He said. 'I want you to tell me everything. If there's something on your mind, just say it.'
Georgie hesitated, and then nodded. 'Alright. It's not... I just.. Oh I dunno. You know I love Amelia?'
Charlie nodded. 'Yeah.'
'And I do love her to bits... she's amazing.' Georgie said. 'But... I just...'
'What?' Charlie asked, running his finger tips down her arm gently. It gave her goosebumps. 'Don't you want her to stay with us? Because if you don't feel ready...'
'Of course I do.' She interrupted. 'That's not what I meant.'
'Then what?' He asked.
'Sometimes I wish she was mine.' She said finally, and then held her breath for a few seconds waiting for his response.
'Is that honestly what all this is about?' He asked. 'You want us to have a baby?'
Georgie nodded. 'Yeah but it's killing me that I can't even do that right now. The one thing I should be able to do. The one thing I should be able to give you.'
Charlie sighed and held her closer to him. 'I'd like nothing more than to have a baby with you.' He said. 'When you're ready. There's no rush though, you know.'
'I know but it's like... my bloody clock is ticking.' She sighed. 'It's all I think about some days. And I see you with Amelia and I just feel completely shit that I can't give you that.'
Charlie lifted her face up to his and kissed her gently, wiping a few loose strands of hair from her face.
'All I want is you.' He said. 'You and Amelia and Sam. You all mean the world to me. If, in time, we could have a baby together then that would be... well it would be the icing on the cake, wouldn't it. But I'm in no rush Georgie, none at all. You need to put your energy in to recovering, getting strong again. And then we can see what happens after that.'
'Ok.' She sniffed, blinking away fresh tears that had formed in her eyes. 'I love you so much. I just want you to be happy.'
'And I am.' He replied. 'So happy. Now why don't I run you a bath?'
'Yeah.' She replied with a smile. 'That would be lovely.'
He got up and left the room. Georgie pulled one of the cushions to her stomach and held it close. She desperately wished it could be a baby bump she was holding instead. Charlie turned the tap on and began to run the bath, and then glanced back in to the living room. Tonight wasn't the right time, he thought. Maybe tomorrow.
