A/N: No Lemons in this chapter, just A LOT of questions answered. I'm so sorry to be late in updating, but I have been writing my fingers to the bone! I have written two new contest one-shots (see below) and an update to BWFA. Also, this chapter gave me FITS! I had three different resolutions to the last scene before I settled on a final choice, thanks in part to Mambomama for letting me bounce ideas off her while my Melly was out of town! Thank you so much, darlin'!

My song choices for this chapter are:
Bella's Song - "
Her Diamonds" – by Rob Thomas
and
Edward's Song – Send Her My Love"- by Journey
Links to these videos are on my profile, along with a link to my Twilighted thread.

Thank you to every one who reviewed the last chapter, and to all my new readers and all those that have added Lioness to your favorites and alerts.
Special shout-out to the following readers who just started reading and have reviewed all or nearly all chapters: babylopez2008; love bite; and fatcat2000.
Also, special shout out to Palomitus77 – She busted her review cherry on Lioness. Woot! Woot!

And a very special shout out to eamc2009 – Your courage is an inspiration to me. Seldom do I meet someone, either in real life or Fan Fiction Land, with your outlook on life and your bravery to face life's challenges. I salute you!

Many thanks to my beta, Melolabel. She keeps me focused and stays up with me until 3am when I need someone to talk to. She keeps me from destroying my stories with crazy ramblings and keeps me from being emo about all the angst. She also made my awesome banners, and we will be working on a collaboration coming soon (very, very soon) – "The Marksman". It's a western ladies. Yum-yum! Who can resist "Westward"? Please go read all her stories. They are awesome!

I have an entry in the "I Love 80s Music NaughtyHeels Anonymous" Contest. Go read some great one-shots and try to figure out which story is mine. I'll give a special prize to the first three of my readers that correctly identify my story. PLEASE DO NOT post your guess as a review, but rather, PM me directly. But, PLEASE DO REVIEW each story. All authors deserve love from their readers.

I have also written a one-shot for Ninapolitan's "DILF" contest. This contest isn't anonymous so you'll know which story is mine by my name!

Links to both these contests are on my profile, so please, GO – READ – REVIEW – VOTE!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, and all the characters. I just borrow them from time to time and make them do my bidding…

Now, without further adieu …

Enough of this crazy stuff! Just shut up and post the chapter already…

** BM **


Chapter 28 – Memories of Love Lost

BPOV

I felt Alice drag me back into the shadows of the forest behind the Newton house. I couldn't break free from her grip. Then I realized I really shouldn't try. Her words finally seeped into my consciousness and I realized she was right. I had already caused Edward enough pain. I didn't need to damage his fragile human heart any further.

So I ran.

I ran with Alice until we reached home.

I sought the sanctuary of my bedroom, pausing only to ask her if Edward would be okay. She got that far away look on her face, then told me quickly that Edward would be fine. I didn't question her haste at the time. I was much too wrapped up in my own misery to notice.

I resumed my normal position, sitting on my couch looking out the open balcony doors when I heard them approaching: My entire family. I knew I deserved what they would say to me – how foolish I was, how reckless, how unfair, how I had hurt Edward without meaning too, how I couldn't be trusted to be close to him anymore, how I wasn't worthy of him.

They would tell me all the things I had already told myself.

I heard them walk in. I could identify each from the sound of their footsteps. Alice approached me first, sitting on my right. Rosalie joined us, sitting on my left. The rest stood at varying distances, but everyone was there.

Alice began, "Honey, we've decided that it would be best if we went away for a time…"

"No!" I interrupted. "No, I don't want to go away. I don't want any of you to have to go away because of what I did." My voice was anguished as I glanced at each in turn.

"Sweetie, we don't mean to go away forever," Rosalie explained. "We think you just need to get away from Forks for a while. Get away from the closeness of the situation." And by situation, I knew she meant Edward.

"Yes," Alice continued, speaking bluntly. "You need to be able to examine where you're at right now emotionally, without the temptation of having Edward so close at hand."

Jasper came and knelt before me, taking my hands in his own. "Sissy," I smiled lightly at his use of the childhood nickname, "we only want what's best for you. We think it would be better if we removed you from these surroundings; take you somewhere you can think more clearly."

"We want to help you figure out what's right for not only your future, but for Edward's." Rose hugged me close as she spoke. "We love you so much and we know how happy you were with him. You found the love of your life and now that's gone. We want to help you resolve this in your own mind because, to be frank, you're going to be around for a long, long time."

"I just don't know how to live without him," I whispered, looking at her, the pain in my words causing her brow to furrow in sympathy.

"Isabella," all eyes turned at the quite authority in Carlisle's voice. "I told you once that immortality is a difficult existence if you have to do it alone. That hasn't changed. We need to help you get to a point where you can face your decisions, face your future, and determine if this is truly the path you need to follow."

I looked into his kind eyes, seeing at once the brother, father, mentor and friend that he was to me. I would defer to his wisdom.

"We will go to Alaska for the holidays," he continued, "and will make it our goal to help you begin the New Year with a fresh outlook."

We all knew Carlisle's word was final; we left for Denali thirty minutes later.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

EPOV

Sunday morning dawned much like every morning in Forks, with rain, rain, and more rain. Jake and I spent the night talking and I was determined to go see Bella this morning. I realized I had to do something early, because I had a ticket to Chicago this evening. And I had to go to Chicago. Mom was expecting me and there was no way I was going to disappoint my Mom! My plane left at five-twenty, so I had no time to waste.

Charlie had stuck his head in the door a few minutes ago to check on me before he headed to bed. He was just getting home so he decided to forgo his usual fishing outing with Billy as he had been up all night, choosing instead to get some sleep. He told me he would be up in plenty of time to get me to the airport.

I let him know that I planned to go out with Jake for a while and he said okay, as long as I didn't forget the time and miss my plane. He closed the door softly behind him.

"You mean you want me to come with you? To the Cullen's?" Jake turned to me and asked, a little surprised and a whole lot reluctant.

"You're damn straight, you're coming with me!" I told him harshly. "You started this whole mess, and you're going to help me fix it! Understand?"

My voice and demeanor brooked no argument, and even though physically Jake could have wiped up the ground with my ass, he hung his head and nodded. He knew he was wrong to do what he did. If he valued our friendship, it was the least he could do,

Twenty minutes later I parked my Volvo in the Cullen's driveway.

"You know," Jake began, "technically, I really shouldn't be here."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I jerked my head in his direction sharply. "You are not weaseling out of this, Jake!"

"I'm not trying to weasel out!" he said. "It's just that the treaty with the Cullen's states that they can't come on Quileute territory and, even though the treaty doesn't specifically state it, we try to never come on their land either." He looked at me timidly, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "Just saying."

"Well, that's just tough shit, bro, because you're coming with me. Now!"

I opened my door and stepped out, then glared at Jake until he joined me. We walked up to the front door.

I saw Jake lift his head and sniff. He turned his head from side to side then looked at me.

"They're not here," he said softly.

"What do you mean, they're not here," I asked, a little more loudly than I planned. "Where are they? Can you tell?"

Jake stepped off the porch, still sniffing the air, and walked around the side of the house. I followed him and he continued to walk, until we had completely circumnavigated the structure.

"Their scent is still strong, but it's already starting to fade. If I had to guess, I'd say they've been gone at least six hours."

"Six hours?" I shook my head as the fact that Bella was gone washed over me. I looked back up at Jake. "Six hours?"

He nodded, "Yeah, at least."

Despair and anxiety replaced my earlier optimism. "But where did she go?"

Jake didn't answer, figuring my question was rhetorical, and besides, he didn't have any more of a clue than I did.

Then he snapped his fingers. "Why don't you try calling her, man?"

I looked at him, dumbstruck for a moment. "Why didn't I think of that?" I said as I reached for my phone. It suddenly hit me that I hadn't phoned or texted anybody since this whole mess with Bella started. Then I realized that I hadn't texted or called anyone except Bella in months. She had become the center of my world. And now, without that center, my world was out of balance.

I pushed the speed dial to connect me with her phone. I was immediately directed to her voice mail. She had her phone turned off.

I listened to the beautiful sound of her voice asking me to leave a message. It felt so good just to hear her voice. I left a simple message, "Bella, its Edward. Please, baby, call me. I love you."

If I didn't hear from her soon, I knew it would be the first of many messages I would leave for her.

"Come on, bro," Jake said as he gave me a light push in the direction of the car. "Let's get you back home so you can get some rest."

Before we left I took a quick minute to walk to the window of the garage and peek inside. It was empty save for Bella's car parked by itself in the large, otherwise empty, room.

I instantly let myself hope. Her car was still here! Maybe that meant she would be back soon. She wouldn't leave for good without her car!

I would have to let that small ray of hope get me through the holidays, the holidays I was supposed to spend with her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

BPOV

The house in Alaska was the same as when we had left it in late summer. I realized with a wry smile that things seldom changed in our lives.

Except Edward. He had made my life hum with new vigor. He had been the bright spot in my day and my guiding light at night; my life had come to revolve around him. Now there was no joy, no peace, and no love. My life was a stained but empty canvas with all the color washed off. His mark was etched on my soul permanently but the vibrancy and shape he'd given to my life had been obliterated. My heart and body were encased in the icy feeling of loneliness.

I settled into my old room and for the first couple of days I forced myself to keep up a pretense for my family. The third day was harder, but I was able to go hunting with Jasper and Alice. On the fourth day, I made an excuse to hide in my room.

But by our fifth day I had to get away from all the happy couples. It was overwhelming to see the pity and sadness in their eyes, especially on this of all nights. I realized it was Christmas Eve, and I remembered how I had planned to spend this Christmas with Edward. He had invited me to celebrate the holidays with his family in Chicago. This was supposed to be our first Christmas together. Jumping out of my second floor window and hitting the ground at a dead run, I did just that. I ran into the forest as hard and fast as I could. Falling to the ground, emotionally exhausted, I abandoned the charade, and surrendered to the despair that had been licking at my soul since the moment I left Edward's bedroom.

And that's where Rosalie found me. Curled into a tight ball, lost in my misery.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

RPOV

"Oh, god, Bella," I exclaimed as I entered her empty room and saw the opened window. I hopped out of the same window and followed her scent into the woods. I knew she had felt bad back in Forks, but I'd never seen her like this: her body locked in a fetal position and faint whimpers coming from her throat.

I lifted her body from the snowy ground where she was lying and carried her back to the cabin. Alice already had the front door opened since the rest of the family was going to visit our cousins. We passed by unhindered and returned back to her room. I laid her gently on the sofa against the wall and pulled her into my arms, rocking her slowly as I whispered, "Oh, sweetie, what can I do? Tell me how to help you." I felt so helpless!

"Oh, Rose," she whispered and I saw she was drawing on her last bit of composure to speak to me, dry sobs now racking her small frame.

"No one can help me."

"Let me try," I begged her. "Please, Bella, please. Talk to me. Maybe it will help if you just let me share this burden with you." I continued to hold her and stroke her hair softly, trying to calm her.

"It's… Christmas… Eve," she sobbed. "We were going to… spend this Christmas… together… in Chicago." She was shaking in my arms, her breath coming in little pants as she spoke. I just held her tighter.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm here for you, sweetie." I wish I knew what to do. I wish I knew some way to comfort her. I just rocked her for a while,

"It wasn't so bad in Forks," she spoke softly in a voice that didn't sound like our Bella, but at least the sobbing had subsided. "I could still see him. I could smell him. He was there." She turned her head slightly to look at me. "I couldn't touch him, or kiss him, but I could watch him sleep." Her head turned again and she dropped her eyes to her hands that were clasped tightly together in her lap.

"Now I can't even do that anymore."

"Why not?" I asked her. I mean, really who would know, I said to my self. "Bella, I just don't understand why! Why can't you work this out with Edward? He clearly loves you." She was shaking her head slightly. "Wait, yes you can! We went over all this before you even spoke to him the first time. We knew… You knew the sacrifices that had to be made to make a life with a human. So what? So you outlive him. You'll at least have him for a time."

She was still shaking her head. "It would be too unfair to him, Rose. I can't do that to him."

"Well do you think this is any more fair? How is it better not to have anything of each other?" I had to make her understand, somehow, that something was better than nothing. Her logic just wasn't making any sense to me.

"Bella, listen to me. Do you think if something happened to Emmett tomorrow that I would think our time together was worthless? Do you?" I was nearly shouting at her. It was good that the rest of the family had gone to a party at Eleazar's. I don't think they would have liked me shouting at Bella right now. But I couldn't stand this anymore. I had to make her see reason.

"Do you think I wouldn't thank everything that's holy that I'd had the time we had together? Bella, what if something happened to you? I know, you're a vampire, but you can be destroyed!" I paused to let my words sink in. "Do you think Edward would have wished he had never known you? Bella, what you did to him was cruel, do you know that? You took away his memories of the best thing that had ever happened to him. Can't you see that in trying to keep him from feeling the pain, you caused him to forget the joy?"

She slowly raised her head to look at me. I saw the truth of my words register with her.

"Do you see what you did? You have your memories of the good times. If you have to, you can exist on those. But you left Edward with nothing. Don't you realize that a love like that leaves an imprint? By taking his memories, you left him with just one big hole where his world had been. I'm surprised that getting drunk was all he did. He could have become an adrenaline junkie to try to fill the emptiness with more dangerous pursuits."

"Oh, Rose," she could barely speak through the anguish. "What… have… I done?" Her eyes squeezed tightly shut and her face twisted in pain.

"Bella, please, sweetie," I rocked her more, "Come on, this isn't helping the situation." I had to coax her out of this pit she was digging for herself.

"It's too late…" she said, her head shaking from side to side. "He'll never forgive me for doing this." She wrapped her arms around her middle trying to stave off the pain.

"BELLA! You've got to be kidding me!" I was shouting again. "That boy LOVES you! I know, I was skeptical at first about your relationship, but honestly, what else does Edward have to do to convince you that he's in love with you?" I was standing now, and I know I shouldn't have been yelling, but I had to get through to her. "Bella, he still loved you after he found out you were a vampire, for goodness sake! Didn't that mean anything? Do you seriously think he hadn't thought about all the things you've now let come between you?"

I was so mad! So what if she out lived him? She would at least get to live with him! So what if she couldn't have children. Em and I couldn't have children. Did she know how that hurt me! But I wouldn't trade my life with Emmett for anything in the world.

Suddenly I was sitting beside her again, with my arms wrapped around her, sobbing out my anger at the cruelties of life as a vampire.

I made a decision right then! I had had it! I was through seeing Bella like this! If she wouldn't do something about this mess, then I would!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

EPOV

The plane trip was uneventful, not that I would've noticed much, and the airports were crowded, not that I cared much. I was rolling on autopilot. It was late when we touched down in Chicago, but Dad was there to meet me.

"How's Mom?" I asked as we loaded my luggage into his trunk.

"She's doing so good, son! The transplant was a complete success. She came home a week ago and hasn't slowed down since. She said she wanted this Christmas to be perfect.

I gave him a wry smile, but didn't say anything. I wasn't about to burden my folks with my problems, not right now anyway.

"Did Bella decide not to come with you?" Dad asked casually as he steered the car into airport traffic.

I knew the question would come up the minute Dad saw me get off the plane alone. I just kept my answer vague, "Something came up."

He just nodded and didn't ask me a million questions. I silently thanked the cosmos for small favors. It would be hard enough to deflect my mother's questions.

Mom was waiting by the door when we arrived home. I had to admit, she looked pretty terrific, and so much better than when I had last seen her in the hospital at Thanksgiving. What a difference a month could make.

Had it been a month? Had I really lived an entire month without Bella? Just the thought of it nearly overwhelmed me, but I covered up quickly so Mom wouldn't know.

I returned her hug and kissed her lightly on the cheek, "How you doing, Mom?"

"I'm great, really great. How was the flight?" she asked as she hugged me tightly then looked over my shoulder as she looked for…

"Where's Bella?" she pulled back to look at me questioningly.

Even though I braced myself for the question, it still hurt. I took a deep breath to steady my voice before answering, "She couldn't make it, Mom."

She narrowed her eyes as she studied my face, "Edward, what are you not telling me?"

"It's nothing, Mom. We'll talk about it later."

I could tell she wasn't pleased to be put off, but she gave me a little frown and thankfully, let the subject drop.

I looked around the foyer, before turning back to Mom and asking, "Where's Freda?"

For as long as I could remember, Freda, our live-in housekeeper, had spent Christmas with us. Her only biological family lived across the country but she always said we were her real family.

"She's in Florida. Her sister fell and broke her hip a couple of weeks ago and needed Freda's help. She'll be back in a couple of months if all goes well.

I looked at her in concern, "Are you sure you can handle all this Christmas stuff without her?" I was kind of worried; she had just gotten out of the hospital herself, after all.

"I'll be fine. The doctors are amazed at how well I'm recovering and I feel better than I have in months." She assured me as she ushered me into the kitchen.

I finally got to bed around one, and only after eating the sandwich my mother insisted on making for me. My body was exhausted, but my mind just couldn't stop thinking of Bella. Where was she right now? Was she thinking about me?

I realized now why I couldn't sleep in my bed in Forks. I knew now why the bed had seemed so hot; I didn't have her cool body lying next to me.

Oh, god, I missed her! I would not let this be the end. I vowed to myself that when I got back to Forks after Christmas, I would find her. Someway, somehow, I would find her. Carlisle had to have told the hospital where he was going. Doctors had to do that kind of shit. They couldn't just disappear, and if they wouldn't tell me, I knew they would tell Charlie. Being the Chief of Police had its advantages.

With a newfound hope, I turned over and let sleep overtake me.

Christmas Eve arrived bringing with it a light dusting of snow. Mom said it was perfect, just enough snow for the ground to be white, but not enough to hamper driving. I couldn't help smiling every time I saw her. She was so happy and healthy looking, almost like she radiated wellness. I hadn't seen her this happy in a long time. When I mentioned it, she said, "Honey, I've learned to treasure each day and not take anything for granted."

I was sitting at the breakfast bar later that morning watching Mom put the finishing touches on the turkey, talking about anything but the one thing she wanted to address: Bella. Dad had gone into the office to finish up a few things before he took off work for the rest of the year. The sound of the doorbell pealed through the house, startling both of us.

"I'll get it," I said as I walked out of the kitchen to the front hall. I opened the door, revealing the brown uniform of a deliveryman. He handed me a large box, I signed and wished him a Merry Christmas, then closed the door.

"Mom, did you order something?" I yelled as I carried the box toward the kitchen. "A package was just delivered."

I walked into the kitchen as she was closing the oven door and she watched as I placed the box on the counter. She gave me a puzzled look and said, "No, I've already received everything I ordered. Who's it from?"

We both looked at the return address and I read it out loud, "Jones, Levy, and Dunn, PC." I looked up at her, "Who's that?"

She thought for a moment and then a light went off and she said in a surprised tone, "That's Grampy's attorneys!" She looked back down at the box. "I wonder what they've sent."

I looked at her and grinned, saying, "Only one way to find out," and with that we grabbed a knife and cut the tape.

We both stared at the contents: two brown-paper wrapped packages, both flat, one small, and the other quite large, and much thicker, thus explaining the large box. Taped loosely to the smaller package was an envelope bearing the same return address, but bearing the message, 'Please deliver contents to Edward Anthony Masen.'

I raised my head at the same time as Mom and we looked at each other.

"Do you think they mean me?" I asked her.

"They must; your father's middle name is Alan."

I lifted the envelope, feeling a letter inside before slitting the top with the knife and pulling out the single sheet of paper. I read aloud:

Dear Mr. Masen:

Let me take this opportunity to introduce myself. I was your Great-grandfather Robert Pattinson's attorney and friend. I am also the executor of his estate.

As you know, you are the first male direct descendant born since your great-grandfather's passing in 1987. He left very specific instructions on the distribution of items he wished you to have. Enclosed with this letter you will find two boxes, one small, the other much larger. Mr. Pattinson specifically asked that these items be delivered to his heir when he reached the age of seventeen and a half. As your birthday is June twenty-third, that date would be December twenty-third. Happily, in this case, it coincides with the holidays so you may look upon these items as gifts from your great-grandfather.

Mr. Pattinson also specified that the smaller of the two packages be opened first, and indicated that it contained material that he wished to be read completely before opening the second package. While we have no control over your compliance with this request, we would ask that you honor his wishes.

Should you have any questions about this matter, please feel free to contact me.

Yours very truly,

James W. Dunn, Esq.

Mom and I were both silent for a moment after I finished reading the letter. She reached into the box and gingerly lifted the smaller package.

"Edward," she said as she weighed the package in her hand, "I think this may be another journal."

"Do you think so?" I asked, taking the package she now held out to me.

"Yes," she replied. "It feels like a small book, and it's about the same size as the other one."

I just stood there, looking at the package until Mom spoke up impatiently, "Well, Edward, open the thing! I'm dying of curiosity!" She nudged me lightly.

I tore the paper off and discovered that, indeed, the package contained another small journal, much like the one I received in June. I flipped opened the front cover and found a folded sheet of stationery in front of the flyleaf. I pulled it out, unfolded it and discovered a note written in the familiar hand of my great-grandfather.

Inscribed on the outside were the words:

For the eyes of my heir only.

My mother glanced at me as she read the words. "Well, it seems Grampy had a secret and he only wanted to share it with you." She quirked her eyebrow at me in an expression I knew I had inherited from her. "Well, you go on and read Grampy's letter and diary, and I'll finish preparing dinner."

And with that she shooed me from the room. I quickly climbed the stairs to my bedroom, flopped on the bed and began to read.

My dear child,

By this time I hope you have read my previous journal. This one picks up several years later.

Please, I beg you, read this narrative with an open mind. Know that every word written here is the truth, as I know it. Parts of what you read will seem unbelievable and simply the ramblings of an old man. But upon the love I have for my dear Marie, I swear to you every word is true.

Also I want to confide in you a secret that may or may not be a part of your life. I want you to explore the recesses of your mind honestly and without fear. You may find, or you may have already discovered, that since you began reading my journal, you possess memories of things you can't explain; things that seem to have happened to you in the past, but you know you have not personally experienced. If, and I bestow great power upon that word, if this has happened to you, accept it as a blessing. It will mean I have been successful in passing on a small part of myself to you through my journal.

The love I have for my Marie lives within me each day, and rather than fading as time progresses, it remains steady and even grows stronger. It is a love that will not die. I believe that with all my heart and soul. It is this living love that I bequeath to you, my blood heir. My one true wish in this life is that the undying love I feel will find a home in you.

Read this, the companion journal to my original, and use it as a road map to discover your destiny. Know that it is my dying wish that a part of me should live on in you. I will never know if this wish is granted, but you will know, and I, will trust.

As before, remember, we will journey together.

Robert Pattinson

I reread the letter a couple of times to make sure I understood what my ancestor, Robert, was trying to tell me. I thought of all the dreams I had experienced about Marie; hell, I had dreamed constantly of her last summer. I blew it off as just my subconscious acting out what I read in the diary, but could there be more to it than that? Could he have somehow passed on things to me through the journal?

I thought for a moment before something else clicked in my brain. The dream I had on the plane trip to Chicago in September. I had carried the journal with me in my bag. I had dreamed I was Robert, in a hospital in Chicago in 1918. I had dreamed about Marie, but instead gave her Bella's face. Had that been one of the memories Robert spoke about?

I thought of the dream I had on the trip home. There had been more in the dream about Marie/Bella, and as I thought back, my breath suddenly caught in my chest: Carlisle had been in that dream!

How had I dreamed of Carlisle Cullen before I even met him?!

My heart began to pound as the realization sank in. My dream had contained not only Bella, but also Carlisle!

How was that possible?

I was getting more and more baffled as I continued to remember the strange dreams I'd had around the time of my September trip. I remembered the strange one in Charlie's car on the way back to Forks. In that one I had dreamed not only that I was Robert, but also I dreamed of his father. I remembered the argument, how the elder Mr. Pattinson had disapproved of Robert's relationship with Marie. I remembered how I, er, Robert, had stood up to his father and defended his relationship with Marie, his fiancée.

His fiancée! Robert had proposed to Marie. They had been engaged before he went to war. But something had happened while he was away. Were these memories passed on through the journal? I remembered reading what Robert said when he returned home, that Marie was nowhere to be found, and he had family obligations and had married my great-grandmother to save the family business.

How sad! I felt a tightness in my chest as I thought about how Robert had lost his one true love and I could totally sympathize, as I felt again the emptiness caused by my separation from Bella. Robert's letter had made me revisit things that I had dismissed as simple dreams and look at them in a whole new light. I was left with many more questions that I hoped the new journal would answer. I opened it to the first page and began to read…

January 15, 1958.

My father died this afternoon.

I wish I could say I feel a great loss, but that wouldn't be an honest assessment of my sentiments right now. Honestly, I don't know exactly how I feel.

Over the years, my father and I came to an understanding. I had bowed to his wishes and married a woman I didn't love to save the family business. I couldn't blame Sophia; she was the innocent pawn in my father's schemes, and I came to care for her as time went by. She had been a good wife and a wonderful mother. In fact, there was only one flaw to Sophia: She wasn't Marie.

And this morning, on his deathbed, my father had made his confession. I am still struggling with the bitterness I felt when he told me of his actions, all those years ago. He confessed that he was the reason my Marie had disappeared. He truly felt at the time he was doing the right thing, but as the years passed, and he saw how her loss had affected me, he had felt remorse for his actions.

If he had simply paid her money to leave, I could have lived with that, knowing she had left of her own free choice. But, no, he had wanted to do a thorough job. He made my darling Marie think that I no longer wanted her in my life.

I shudder when I think how she must have suffered, thinking I no longer loved her. Even now, nearly forty years later, it nearly broke me to think of her in pain.

But no matter, forty years or not, I vow I will find my Marie. I won't have a moment's peace until I get her back.

Damn! That was a shock, I'm sure. I tried to remember what was in the other journal, wishing I had it with me. I remembered Robert saying that when he returned from war, Marie had been gone and he had no way of finding her. He had married my great grandmother to save the family business and, I had assumed, after exhausting every possibility at the time, given up on ever finding Marie again. But that journal had ended when Robert was around forty years old. If my math was correct, he would have been nearly sixty when he began writing this one.

I continued reading the journal the rest of the evening, stopping only to enjoy Christmas Eve dinner with my parents before returning to my bedroom to read.

Robert had used his, by then, vast fortune to hire the best private investigators in the country to track down Marie. Entry after entry chronicled his attempts and failures. Finally, in 1969, an investigator had discovered something very interesting in old payroll documents at Cook County Hospital. After a diligent search, he had discovered on old microfiche the original payroll records from 1918 and had found the records pertaining to Dr. Carl Whitlock and Marie Whitlock. From there, he had tracked down copies of the original payroll checks, including the last ones that had been issued to the pair. And also included in the payroll records were forwarding addresses for Dr. Whitlock and Marie, so their last payroll checks could be mailed. That address was in Philadelphia.

From there, the trail had again turned cold, until the investigators checked old train logs. He had traced a couple, a doctor and a nurse, traveling from Chicago to Philadelphia, then from Philadelphia to Wisconsin, where the doctor had again worked at a hospital, but there was no record of his nurse. However, the doctor was using a different name.

By now, the story in the journal was becoming more and more unbelievable, and as Robert had warned in his letter, I began to fear they were the ramblings of an old man. Then I came to the last entry in the journal…

March 22, 1978

After searching diligently, my investigators came to a conclusion: Dr. Whitlock and Marie were not your ordinary doctor and nurse. Periodically, they would move from one place, settling in another, always moving to a place where the weather was cold or rainy or sparsely populated. After leaving Wisconsin, they had moved to Rochester, New York and in 1935, they had moved to the Pacific Northwest.

By this time, the doctor had married and two other people in addition to Marie were traveling with them.

My investigators always noted that they chose places to live with limited sunlight and near densely wooded areas.

As I read that last part, I had a strange feeling course through my body.

I am keeping this last entry slightly vague for a reason. At the end of this journal, you will find an envelope containing the full results of my investigators findings. Please know that they have been sworn to secrecy about these findings and all their notes and records have been destroyed. All that remains of their conclusions are contained in this journal and in the letter.

I am now an old man. I finally know the truth of what happened to my Marie, and know that she still lives today. Most likely, she will still be living when you read this journal. I know that seems impossible, but nevertheless, it is true.

You may have found, since reading the first journal, that you are drawn to certain places; certain people. You may find that you have encountered things that may seem unexplainable, but you know for a fact they are true. You may have even met Marie without even knowing it.

I felt a shiver run down my spine, almost a foreshadowing of something to come but I tried my best to brush it off. What I was thinking was too far fetched to be true.

If the Fates have been with me and I am truly able to pass on a part of myself to you through my journal, I am certain you have approached the remainder of this narrative with an open mind.

With this said, I have yet another package for you. If my wishes are followed, it will be delivered with this journal. It is something I produced myself and I hope you view it and know the love that created it.

I ask that you open the second package before you read the contents of the letter.

Robert Pattinson

I looked at the bedside clock; it read ten thirty-five. I was surprised it was still so early. I jumped off my bed and headed to the kitchen, thinking the package should still be there. I flipped the light on, scanned the room quickly but didn't see the package.

Mom must have put it somewhere, I thought and instant before I heard her voice behind me.

"Edward? I thought you were in bed."

"I was Mom, but I finished reading the journal and now I want to open the other package.

"Oh, I put it in the hall closet," she said as she walked toward the living room. "I'll get it."

Within moments she was back in the kitchen with the package. She placed it on the breakfast island and we both looked at it for a short time, before glancing back at each other.

"Well, go ahead, honey, open it," she said encouragingly.

I reached for the package, tearing at the brown paper wrapping to uncover the box within. I tore off the tape that held the top together and lifted the two sides apart to reveal the contents.

Inside was a painting encased in a thin white, foam-like material and braced at each corner to keep it from being damaged. I gingerly lifted it from the box holding it facing away from me as I removed the protective corners, before pulling off the white covering. I slowly turned it around and heard my own gasp mingle with that of my mother.

Staring back at us from the canvas was a perfect image of…

Bella


A/N: This chapter answered some questions posed in chapters 5, 6, 7 and 15. I hope you're with me on how I resolved the relationship between Robert and Edward, but now Mom knows something's up. How will this knowledge play out in the remaining chapters of the story?

This chapter really moved along faster than I anticipated and in Chapter 29, perhaps will have an end to the angst! Thank God!

Now, if you have questions about anything in this chapter, leave a review and I'll answer your questions to the best of my ability. As I said in my beginning A/N, I had three ways to resolve the Robert/Edward connection. I decided on this one.

If you have a chance, please go read my entries in the DILF contest, and try to guess my entry in the NaughtyHeels Anonymous contest. If you are one of the first three readers to correctly guess my story, I will give you a special cameo role in the first chapter posted after the contest ends, of any of my stories you choose. Would you like to be the receptionist at the police station with SWATward? Or the new ensign on TwiTrek? Or maybe a new student or teacher at Forks High in Lioness. It's your choice. Just be sure NOT TO LEAVE YOUR GUESS IN THE REVIEW FOR THE STORY. PM me privately. Okay? The contest must remain anonymous.

I really love you guys, and remember…

** May all your dreams be filled with Edward **

***BM***