Author's Note: Deviating from cannon a bit here but I think it's going to turn out to be something pretty great. I hope you enjoy!


After a couple of days passed, I was officially on the mend. My wounds had begun to close and my body didn't sting and ache with every little movement I made—it only did that some of the time now. Progress! Much to my dismay, however, Alistair appeared to be getting worse. The fever had come back full force. I hadn't seen him keep any sort of food or even water down in days. I was going out of my mind. I felt so damn powerless. I just found myself pacing back and forth in the room where he slept, wracking my brain for some panacea, some home remedy, something I hadn't previously thought of that could make him better. Meatball's head moved from left to right as he watched my movements from the foot of the bed. It was sweet, really. Ever since Alistair had fallen ill, Meatball hadn't left his side.

"Scarlett…" Wynne beckoned me to follow her outside the room where Alistair was resting.

"Don't sugarcoat it, Wynne. Give it to me straight. What are we dealing with here?"

"I honestly don't know. It's like no illness I've ever seen. Nothing I do seems to make any sort of difference. His condition just keeps worsening."

"Is it some sort of… I don't know… plague or something?" I asked.

"We haven't been exposed to anyone with that kind of disease, so that's unlikely. Even if we had, Alistair would not be the only one suffering the effects. And it's not some simple stomach bug, either. If it were, he'd be feeling better by now. I just don't understand it. Whatever this is…" she began as she gently placed her hands on my shoulders, her expression full of sorrow and regret. "I believe it's killing him."

And there it was. My very worst fear come to fruition. He was so young, so vibrant and full of life. I knew we faced danger every day on the battlefield, but to lose him like this… to some mystery illness that was slowly sucking all that life out of him… I felt blind-sided. At least on the battlefield I could try my damndest to protect him. This… this was something else. How do you defeat an enemy you don't know how to fight? I took a deep breath and tried to look at the miserable situation logically. It was the only way I was going to get through this.

"How long?" I whispered, my chest heavy and aching with heartbreak.

"I can't be certain. If his condition continues to decline at this rate… likely less than a week."

I closed my eyes tight to keep the tears from falling. Screw it. I did have one option I was tossing around as a last resort. It was a long shot, and the fact of the matter was that I had no idea what effects it would have on him—that is, if it worked at all. But I was willing to do anything to keep him alive, to keep him with me. And I do mean anything. We'd deal with the repercussions later.

"The ashes. If they can fix Eamon they can fix Alistair, right?" I posed, a hint of hopefulness peeking through my otherwise despair-laden tone.

"We don't even know if they can heal anyone, Scarlett. Not for sure."

"I've got to try. I can't lose him, Wynne. I just can't. We'll leave immediately."

"Alistair cannot go with you. Not in his condition."

"Will you stay with him? Keep him safe?"

Wynne gave me a solemn nod. "Meatball and I will look out for him."

"Thank you."

I went back into the room and knelt by Alistair's bedside, taking his hand in mine and kissing the back of it.

"Well? What's the prognosis, doc?" he smirked slightly.

"I'm going to fix this, do you hear me? Maker as my witness I am going to find those ashes and make all of this go away." I vowed as I looked into his weary eyes.

"That bad, huh?" he tried for a full smile but all that showed through was a crooked grimace, his lips covered in cuts and sores from all the bile repeatedly passing over them.

"We're leaving this morning. You… you can't come with us. You know that, right?" I asked as gently as I could manage.

He nodded slowly.

"Wynne and Meatball will be here to take care of you until I return. I shan't be long. I promise."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, you know." He teased.

"Heh alright. Let's try this: I will be back at your side as soon as humanly possible. And I will love you with all my heart every minute in between." I gave him my most genuine smile.

"And that's what keeps me going." He squeezed my hand. "I love you. Come back to me in one piece."

I got up from the floor and leaned down to kiss his head. "I love you, too. Rest now."

He nodded slowly. "I'll try."

"Oh! I almost forgot." I exclaimed as I rummaged through my pack and pulled out the rose he gave me—somehow it still looked as fresh and beautiful as the day he picked it. "Here. This has gotten me through some rather tough times. I'd like you to hold onto it for me while I'm gone."

"I… I thought you threw this away. When we had that fight after—"

"I… may have bluffed a bit." I smirked.

"You sly demon, you." He smirked back.

"Someone rather special gave this to me. I'll cherish it always." My smirk turned into a full smile.

"I'll keep it close." He whispered as he grabbed it and rested it across his chest. I kissed his cheek as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

My injury-riddled body definitely felt the climb up to the temple, but none of my wounds tore open, which was a definite plus. I removed the medallion from my neck and opened the door, just as Genitivi had instructed. So far so good.

Maker, the place was immense. And incredibly picturesque. Alabaster archways and carvings adorned the temple's massive walls, all shrouded beneath a blanket of glittering snow and ice.

"I can't believe all this is still standing. This temple must be thousands of years old." Leliana observed.

"An ancient temple, lost to all but a select few. Magnificent." Morrigan commented.

"Wow, is the infamously blasé Morrigan finally awestruck by one of the wonders we've seen?" I teased. She just gave me an icy glare.

"This place is so cavernous. I do not even know where to begin." Zevran commented.

"Well, do what I usually do. Just point in a direction and go."

"That's it? There is no other method to your madness?"

"Nope. Most of the time it's just blind luck. Winging it is vastly underrated." I smirked.

"Ah, truly a woman after my own heart." Zevran smiled.

Upon opening the door to the first room we found some old books and some villagers… cultists… whatever you want to call them, who attacked as soon as they saw us. It scared me half to death—I thought the place to be abandoned. Booby traps I was expecting but other people? That threw me for a loop. We made quick work of them.

When we walked into the next room, Morrigan had a suggestion. "More books. We should burn a few to warm ourselves up, I should think."

"Bite your tongue!" I snapped back. Maker, if I could have I would have taken them all with me, but I had one thing on my mind and one thing only: Save Alistair. Nothing else mattered—not even a lifetime supply of my favorite vice.

"I don't think anyone would mind if I borrowed a book or two…" Leliana commented.

"Just be careful of what you touch. Genitivi warned us about traps, remember?" I reminded her.

"Lucky for us all, I'm rather good at detecting those, remember?" she countered as she grabbed a couple and stashed them in her pack.

"Fine, have it your way. But I'm borrowing them when you're done." I smirked.

"Oh, of course." She smiled back. "Speaking of traps, there's a trip wire about six inches from your feet."

"Yep, definitely would have missed that. I owe ya one." She moved to disarm it so we could continue forward.

And so we pressed on, exploring room after room, endless hallway after endless hallway, looking for some shred of evidence to suggest we were making any sort of progress. All we found was a whole lot of nothing—well, barring a lot more traps and angry cultists and a few ornery brontos. I know, I have no idea how or why they were in that temple either. Seeing the first one charging toward me scared me out of my wits. In our nosing about I did manage to find a little figure of a stone warrior that I thought Alistair might like, so I stashed it away to give to him when I got back. …Don't look at me like that! So I stole a little something from an ancient temple—the Maker could smite me later. Bring it on!

After we searched every nook and cranny on the first level, we climbed the stairs and began exploring the second. And wouldn't you know it? We were greeted by a damn ash wraith. Oh actually, scratch that—two ash wraiths. I guess spirits were in the mix now—you know, in addition to the insane zealots and the huge horned beasts. Lovely. After taking care of those ugly sons of bitches, we came upon an altar and I lit it because Leliana said so and frankly, I was not about to argue. This was all pretty foreign territory to me. I never was much of a chantry-goer.

The further into the temple we went, the more trouble we seemed to find. More traps. More cultists. More wraiths. It was getting old fast. Then we reached what appeared to be the end of the temple and found ourselves making our way through some old underground caverns. Oh, and said caverns were positively lousy with dragonlings. Yep, the same creatures we'd fought in the chantry back in Haven. The plot thickens.

We went east and found some empty, blood-soaked cages containing some pig and goat remains. The smell was positively nauseating. I assumed the cultists had used these for feeding the baby dragons. As we continued we stumbled upon some kind of hatchery—there was all sorts of equipment and dragon eggs lying about. I tried to piece the clues together in my mind, but it still wasn't making any sense. Why go through all this trouble for a bunch of lizards who would likely eat you upon maturing? What was the point?

Then we were greeted by a man who actually seemed interested in talking things through before diving in head first and attacking us—a refreshing change of pace.

"Stop! You will go no further!" he shouted.

"Oh? Is that so?" I asked. Alright, I admit it; I was feeling a bit cheeky.

"You have defiled our temple. You have spilled the blood of the faithful and slaughtered our young. No more! You will tell me now, intruder, why you have done all this! Why have you come here?!" he demanded to know.

"We seek the Urn of Sacred Ashes." I explained matter-of-factly.

"You did this all for an ancient relic? Know this, stranger: The prophet Andraste has overcome death itself, and has returned to Her faithful in a form more radiant than you can imagine!"

"I think I should like to see this risen Andraste." I made no pains to hide my disbelief.

"None but the disciples may approach Andraste. She is not ready yet, but when the time is right she will descend upon the nations in fiery splendor, and all shall know Her! But…" he began in a gentler tone, "Perhaps there is a way to make up for your recent transgressions…"

Oh, this should be good.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Father Kolgrim. I lead the disciples of Andraste. Atop this mountain lie the remains of the mortal Andraste. The Urn is watched by an immortal guardian. He is trapped in the past and refuses to accept the risen Andraste. Now the ashes prevent holy Andraste from fully realizing Her new form. They are a remnant of her past incarnation, and She cannot move on as long as they exist."

"You… you want me to destroy the ashes?" I asked. In Alistair's absence, I felt Leliana's stare of disapproval boring into my spine this time.

"I speak not of destruction. The Beloved needs to reclaim the ashes, to make them Her own again. All it would take is a drop of Her blood." Kolgrim explained.

"Ah, poison the well, so to speak. I see. And you haven't done this yourself because…"

"The guardian has foiled all our attempts to reach the Urn. He keeps what power remains from the true Andraste. He knows the disciples and we cannot touch him, for he draws his strength from the ashes themselves. But you could deliver our Lady what is rightfully Hers."

Leliana rested her hands on her hips in indignation. She was clearly growing more and incensed as the conversation progressed.

"He thinks Andraste is reborn? It is preposterous. Ugh. I do not like this." Leliana warned.

"Don't worry. It's pretty obvious he's off his rocker. I have no intention of doing what he asks." I reassured her. I didn't even lower my voice. I said it right to his face. I'm not sure I ever saw someone do a complete 180 that quickly in my life—his disposition went from sweet and forgiving to absolutely livid in nanoseconds.

"Then we cannot allow you to leave here. To arms, my brethren! Andraste will grant us victory!" Kolgrim shouted.

Andraste did no such thing. Better luck next time, bub. Although, I will admit, Kolgrim was kind of a tough customer. With my wounds still in the process of healing and Sten's arm still in a sling, he almost gave us a run for our money. Still, we managed to persevere.

As we made our way out of the caverns and into a clearing, we were met with a rather nasty surprise. And suddenly it all clicked. Those bloody idiots thought Andraste was reborn in the form of a Maker-forsaken high dragon. Damnit. Why couldn't she be reborn in the form of a sheep? Or a cat? A pigeon, even. That I could handle.

"Hide. NOW!" I ordered in a loud whisper. Luckily we all managed to get out of the way before she spotted us. Merciful Andraste. That whole experience with Flemeth had put me off dragons for life. I was literally shaking like a leaf. The sound of the dragon's roar made my stomach turn with a combination of unadulterated terror and supreme dread. Oh, I so wasn't going to take her on. Not if there was any possible way to avoid it.

She landed far enough away from us and appeared to curl up and go to sleep. Welp, it was now or never. We started running straight ahead, not looking anywhere but forward.

"You know, they say music tames the savage beast…" Leliana began. I just shot her a glare as we kept up our jog. "Well, I didn't say I was going to test the theory."

"Be cautious. A dragon such as this is better to avoid than engage." Morrigan warned.

"Oh, I have zero intentions of engaging, trust me. Lesson fucking learned, thanks to your mummy dearest."

"Ah yes. Mother did always have a rather vivid way of making a point."

"Vivid?! She almost ate me!" I half-shouted, half-whispered.

"Yet the lesson remains with you still, does it not?" Morrigan smirked. I just rolled my eyes.

We finally made it across the clearing and went through another door, this one leading to the mountaintop.

"This is not like the rest of the temple." Morrigan observed. "This part is unblemished. Untouched."

"We… we must be close. This is holy ground. I can feel it." Leliana explained, making no attempt to mask her growing excitement.

"There." Zevran pointed. "I do believe that gentleman is the guardian the priest spoke of. Shall we say hello?"

I gave him a nod and led the way to the stoic man clad in ancient armor.

"I bid you welcome, pilgrim." He greeted. It was so strange… his voice somehow made its own echo, as though he were speaking with more than one set of vocal chords. Some might call it ethereal; I'd call it creepy.

"You must be the guardian." I posed.

"Yes. I am the protector of the Urn of Sacred Ashes. I have waited years for this."

"…For what? For me?" I asked, clearly puzzled by his admission.

"You are the first to arrive in a very long time. It has been my duty, my life, to protect the Urn and prepare the way for the faithful who come to revere Andraste."

"Right. Let's get right down to it, shall we? How do I get to the Urn?" I asked.

"You have come to honor Andraste, and you shall, if you prove yourself worthy."

Ah. Always a catch.

"I need those ashes to heal a dying man." I explained. Well, two men really, but who's counting? Perhaps if the guardian understood I was not seeking the ashes for profit or some other selfish reason, he'd think I was worthy.

"Still, you must prove yourself worthy." Or not. "It is not my place to decide your worthiness. The Gauntlet does that."

Oh boy did I not like the sound of that.

"If you are found worthy," the guardian went on, "you will see the Urn and be allowed to take a small pinch of the ashes for yourself. If not…"

"What can you tell me about this Gauntlet?" I asked.

"The Gauntlet tells the true pilgrims from the false. You will undergo four tests of faith, and we will see how your soul fares."

Gah, I knew I shouldn't have skipped all those chantry services back in Highever. Curses! Why had the Maker not made me more pious?!

"Alright, let's go. I'm ready." I lied. I so wasn't. Not even close. I was scared to death. Still, I wasn't going to accomplish a damn thing by just standing around.

"Before you go, there is something I must ask. I can see the path that led you here was not easy. There is suffering in your past—your suffering and the suffering of others. You abandoned your father and mother, leaving them in the hands of Rendon Howe, knowing he would show no mercy. Do you think you failed your parents?"

Maker have mercy, his words cut me like a thousand knives. There I was, psyching myself up, all ready to face anything and everything that lay beyond that door behind him—anything but my own past. I weighed his words carefully as I felt hot tears beginning to well up in my eyes.

"Yes," I whispered. "I should have defended them to the death."

"Thank you. That is all I needed to know."

"Is there any religion that does not thrive upon guilt like a glutton at his lunch? No? I thought not." Morrigan supposed. I think she was trying to make me feel better. It didn't work.

"You could not have known what would happen, Scarlett." Leliana offered gently. "You did what you thought was best."

"Parshaara. Leave the past where it falls." Sten advised, the first time I'd heard him talk since we'd left the village.

"And what of those who follow you?" The guardian posed. "You." He looked at Leliana. "Why do you say the Maker speaks to you when all know that the Maker has left? He spoke only to Andraste. Do you believe yourself her equal?"

"I never said that. I—" Leliana began to argue but was cut off.

"In Orlais, you were someone. In Lothering, you feared you would lose yourself—become a drab sister and disappear. When your brothers and sisters at the cloister criticized you for what you professed, you were hurt, but you also reveled in it. It made you special. You enjoyed the attention—even if it was negative."

"You're saying I made it up for… for the attention?! I did not! I know what I believe." Leliana defended herself.

"And the Antivan elf." The guardian turned to Zevran.

"Oh, is it my turn now? Hurrah. I am so excited." Zev exclaimed dispassionately.

"Many have died at your hand. But is there any you regret more than a woman by the name of—"

"How do you know about that?" Zev interrupted defensively.

"I know much. It is allowed to me. The question stands, however. Do you regret?"

"Yes, the answer is yes, if that is what you wish to know. I do. Now move on." He spat out bitterly while crossing his arms. Man, this guy really knew how to get under your skin. I wonder if he and Sten were schoolmates…

"Demand whatever answers you want, spirit." Sten commanded.

"You came to this land as an observer, but you killed a family in a blind rage. Have you failed your people by allowing a Qunari to be seen in that light?"

"I have never denied that I failed." Was all Sten responded with.

"And you, Morrigan, Flemeth's daughter. What—"

"Be gone, spirit." Morrigan brushed him away with her hand. "I will not play your games."

"I will respect your wishes." The guardian acquiesced.

Are you kidding me?! We could have all just skipped the third-degree and rather painful trip down memory lane and just moved on?! GRRRRRRR!

"The way is open. Good luck, and may you find what you seek." The guardian offered before he disappeared into the ether.

We walked through the door and were greeted by eight… apparitions. When I spoke to the first one, she posed a riddle. When I spoke to the second, he did the same. Finally, something I was good at! I mean, I could hold my own in a fight, but word games and puzzles were definitely right up my alley. Figuring out each answer was a breeze. At this rate, we'd find those ashes in no time! I was so pumped!

Then I ran into my father—or at least, a figure who looked like him. My optimism flew right out the window as soon as I realized who was standing before me. Seeing him again… all manner of emotions coursed through me. Happiness, relief, grief, sadness, regret, longing… I don't quite know how to describe what I felt, to be perfectly honest. Then he spoke to me.

"My dearest child."

"…Father?"

"You know that I am gone, and all your prayers and wishes will not bring me back. No more must you grieve, my girl. Take the pain and the guilt, acknowledge it, and let go. It is time. You have such a long road ahead of you, and you must be prepared."

I moved to hug him but my arms enveloped nothing but air and just like that, he was gone. I swallowed my tears and whispered to myself, "Enough. Enough now." Leliana came up behind me and gave me a quick hug. I patted her arm. "Thanks." I took a deep breath and regained my composure before we pressed on.

Then we began trial two, and Maker was it a doozy. We had to fight… ourselves. That might not sound that bad, but consider your opponent being able to anticipate your every move, your every thought, to command every skill in your arsenal, every trick you might have up your sleeve. It's pretty damn hard to outsmart yourself and your best friends—the very people you spend just about every waking moment with.

"Mix it up!" I called out. "Do not try to take yourself on. You will not win."

"But I look so handsome during combat!" Zev joked as he dodged an ice attack from not-Morrigan's staff.

"Oh what fun! Pity Alistair isn't here. I could have finally had the satisfaction of setting him on fire." Morrigan whined as she cast a fire spell at not-Leliana.

"It is about time I encountered a worthy opponent." Sten quipped as he stabbed himself in the stomach.

"As I recall, I kicked your ass rather effectively, Sten." I teased smugly as I parried a blow from not-Zevran's dagger.

"Gloating is most unbecoming." He shot back.

"Scarlett! A little help!" Leliana cried as not-me had her cornered, weapon poised to hit home. I ran up and plunged my sword up through my spine. I know. It felt as weird as it sounds.

Before long we cleared the room and made our way to trial three. Much to my delight, it was another puzzle. Although I was far better at word games than spatial ones, it still didn't pose much difficulty. We had to stand on different platforms to solidify a bridge that led to the next room.

"Have any of you ever played a game called Simon Says?" I smirked.

"Oh yes! I remember that game!" Leliana smiled brightly.

"Ahh I have many a fond memory of that game. You know, it is just as much fun in the bedroom." Zevran grinned wickedly.

"Oh let us get on with it." Morrigan demanded shortly.

"Okay, Morrigan, Simon Says to stand on Left 3. Sten, Left 6."

"But Simon did not say. Or do I miss the point of this childish diversion?" Sten questioned, clearly confused. I just facepalmed.

"Very well. Sten, Simon Says move to Left 6. Zev, Simon Says move to Right 2."

And so I kept moving my companions around as though they were pieces on a chess board. I had to admit, it was sort of fun.

After the bridge was fully manifested, Leliana exclaimed, "That was fun! Can we do it again?" I just shook my head.

Upon entering the room that contained the fourth and final trial, I noticed a wall literally made of flames, which did not bode well. There was a single altar near the door with another riddle that read, "Cast off the trappings of worldly life and cloak yourself in the goodness of spirit, king and slave, lord and beggar; be born anew in the Maker's sight."

"Oh no…" I uttered.

"What, what do we have to do?" Leliana asked, clearly worried.

I just turned around and grabbed Zevran by the shoulders, bending my knees slightly so we could see eye-to-eye. "I need you to handle this with maturity and aplomb, do you hear me?"

"What? Why do you single me out?"

"…We all need to get naked." I explained.

"Ahhh, now it all makes sense. Do not worry, my fiery Ferelden rose. These hands shall be kept to myself. My eyes, however… no promises." The elf smirked.

"Ugh, that's what I was afraid of. Oh well. We've come this far. I'm not going to let a little bashfulness stand in my way now." I reasoned as I began removing my weapons and armor. Everyone else followed suit.

"One off-color comment, Zev, and I swear to the Maker I will strike you down where you stand." I swore.

"It occurs to me that without your weapons you do not pose much of a threat, my curvaceous, ivory-skinned beauty. I confess I can see why Alistair keeps you all to himself; I likely wouldn't want to share you either."

I soooo badly wanted to scream and shout a string of scathing insults at that blasted elf, but this was neither the time nor the place. I just blushed profusely, gritted my teeth, and balled my hands into fists, making a mental note to make him pay for this once we were out of here. And dearly.

For once, I was thankful for being in front. It was easier to pretend no one else was behind me, although Zevran had sort of ruined that. Also, I had less than zero desire to see a naked Sten. Blech.

It was the strangest thing. As I walked through the flames, I remained unburnt. More than that, I actually felt… better. As though I were being reborn. All my recently inflicted wounds closed completely, not even leaving the slightest scar. As I looked myself over, I noticed that the old wounds I'd received from Flemeth had somehow faded as well. And even though we'd been awake for more than a day at this point, I felt completely re-energized.

"Does anyone else feel… surprisingly good? Rejuvenated?" I asked as I looked behind me. Gah! Mistake! My eyes! Some things you just cannot unsee. A naked Sten is one such image. Gross!

"My arm…" Sten removed it from the sling and moved it around, "it's completely healed."

"I feel wonderful!" Leliana beamed.

Then the guardian came into the room. Andraste's blood, why don't we just go ahead and call in all of Thedas? Wouldn't want anyone to miss out on our display of unencumbered nudity, would we? Ugh.

"You have been through the trials of the Gauntlet; you have walked the path of Andraste, and like Her, you have been cleansed. You have proven yourself worthy, pilgrim. Approach the Sacred Ashes."

Once he disappeared and we'd all made it through the flames safely, I could not get dressed quickly enough. I walked up the stairs and approached the statue that was bearing the Urn and let out a huge, relieved sigh. We made it. We actually made it.

"I never dreamed I would ever lay my eyes on the Urn of Sacred Ashes… I… I have no words to express—" Leliana stammered.

"I stand in awe. Really." Morrigan deadpanned.

"Congratulations. You found a waste-bin." Sten offered sardonically.

"Nice vase. I should get one for my house." Zevran commented.

"Yeah, yeah. Everyone's just soooo cool and nonchalant about this. I get it." I rolled my eyes.

I confess I took a little more than a pinch of the ashes—closer to a smattering. I had to be sure I had enough for both Alistair and Eamon. The guardian made no protest so I figured I was going to get away with it. I wasn't taking any more than I needed, after all, and if he could really peer into our very souls, he knew my heart was in the right place. And then we simply turned around and started to leave. Just a girl and her friends walking out of an ancient temple with a holy item capable of defying death itself firmly nestled in her back pocket. No big deal, right?