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I loved all your ideas about what is going to happen and all, but of course I can't tell you. But I loved reading them and I loved hearing from you guys! But enough of from… HAPPY READING!
IMPORTANT: This chapter will contain point of views from Magnus and Alec. This is the first time that both point of views comes to view in my chapters. I will of course make it obvious when it happens.
Enjoy
28. Why?
Magnus's POV
I moaned and turned over, feeling something tickling my nose. I furrowed my eyebrows and opened my eyes. Alec had turned his back to me and his hair was tussled and was tickling the tip of my nose. I turned over and starred at the bed table. I saw the small ring. I took it and let it slip on my middle finger. It was too small but it was right above the first knuckle. It was beautiful and black. I would like one myself if it wasn't for what it stood for.
I was about to go back to sleep when I heard my front door open. I bolted up from the bed and glanced towards my door. I heard footsteps, walking around my living room. I jumped up and grabbed a pair of pants. I went into my bathroom and grabbed a hairspray. I wasn't so sure what to do with the hairspray, just spray the crap out at whoever dares to break into my apartment.
I walked towards my door slowly and opened it. The living room was grey, from the grey sky and rain. I walked in and looked at my front door. It didn't seem like anybody had been breaking in. But I was pretty sure I closed the door last night and locked it. I heard someone coming from behind and I turned around, and screamed, spraying the hairspray at whoever it was.
The person cried out and reached out for me. I screamed and jumped back and kept spraying.
"Magnus! Fuck! Stop it!" The person yelled in a familiar voice. "It's me! Ragnor!" I blinked and stopped, looking at Ragnor. He took the heel of his hands and pressed them into his eyes, and whimpered.
"Ragnor?" I asked and took a step forward, placing the spray on the nearest table. "How did you get in?"
"Camille gave me her key. The one you gave her if you ever locked yourself out", he whimpered and took his hands away and blinked. His eyes were red and they looked like they hurt.
"What are you doing here?"
"I ca-" He stopped and whimpered again, pressing the heel against his eyes again. "I came to say I'm sorry for what I did. It was a really bitchy move, and I'm sorry." I blinked and saw Ragnor trying to get eye contact with me, but every time he blinked he had to shut them close. I sighed and went into the kitchen, grabbing a tissue making it wet and walked back in. I offered Ragnor the tissue and he took it gladly, pressing it against his eyes, sighing in relieve.
"So," I said and crossed my arms. "You're really sorry?"
"Yeah man", he said and switched eye. "I shouldn't have been mad at you like that. It was childish and you were right about me owing you an apology. So, again, sorry."
"Camille made you come here, didn't she?" Ragnor sighed and removed the tissue and looked at me.
"Yeah…", he said and shifted uncomfortably at his feet. "But I also came here because I miss you."
"Ragnor, you were acting like a complete idiot", I said and sighed. "You acted like a child. Why? Why is this be-" I stopped myself remembering that Alec was right next door. "- Thing so important to you?" Ragnor sighed and took the tissue up to his right eye.
"It's not important", he said. "This has nothing to do with the bet. This has something to do with you never finishing anything you start. You always quit. And you can always get away with it. I just wanted you to finish something, and this is just a harmless bet."
"It's not harmless when you know how I'm feeling for him!" I yelled and sighed, and took a hand through my hair. "I love him, Ragnor. And I told you, I'm done!" Ragnor blinked and looked me up and down. He suddenly smirked and took a step forward. He took my hand and brought it up to his eyes. He looked at the sparkly black ring. I had completely forgotten I had put it on.
"Well, this surely proves you are done", he said and took the ring of. "I guess we can just leave the cross, this is more than proof."
"You're such an ass, Ragnor", I hissed and reached out for the ring, but he moved his hand away. "Give it back to me!"
"Was he good? Was he a good fuck? Was he the 500 dollars worth?" He asked and had a disgusting smirk on his lips. "Was he-" There was an echo in the room. I had slapped right across his cheek and Ragnor's head had flown to the right. He blinked in surprise and took a hand up to his cheek. Ragnor looked at me and gulped. He looked surprised and I took my hand down my side. I never thought I would hit my best friend, but right now I didn't see anything friendly about him. He was different, and he was full of hate. Full of hate against me.
"Magnus?" I turned and saw Alec standing in the doorway to my bedroom. "What is…" His voice broke and he looked down. I gasped for air and I felt my whole body go cold. I was frozen and my heart was beating slowly against my chest, and I could feel the beating of my heart all the way to my throat. I felt like I was going to puke.
"Alec", I said and took a step towards him, but he backed away and stopped. "Please. Just hear me out will you."
"Why?" He asked and looked up at me, his eyes a cold crystal blue. He looked at me in rage and disgust. He looked at me like I was a stranger to him. He looked at me the way he would look at his father, someone he hated. "Why should I listen to you? You're so full it, Magnus!" He yelled and slammed the door closed. I blinked and I tried to hold back my tears.
"Mags-" I turned and starred at Ragnor. "I didn't know he was here. I swear, I didn't kno-"
"Leave", I interrupted and kept looking at him. "Get the fuck out! Why do you have to mess everything up! Fuck out!" Ragnor took a step back, and he looked at me with hurt eyes, before hesitantly turning on his heel and walking down the hallway and out the front door. Closing it behind him.
Alec's POV
I ran toward my things and grabbed my clothes, putting them on. I zipped up my pants, and started to pack my stuff. I had a small bag, with my schoolbooks and some clean shirts. It had just been lying around and I had completely forgotten about it. The door opened and I stopped, glancing over my shoulder, watching Magnus walking in with hesitant moves. I threw the bag on the bed, and grabbed some of my books that had fallen out.
"Alec", he mumbled and walked towards the bed. "Can I just tell you what's really going on?"
"Oh, I know what's going on", I said and laughed. Not that I was funny, because I felt stupid, and it was too stupid not to laugh about. "I don't need you to explain it to me."
"The bet didn't mean anything, Alec! I swear! At first… of course it did, but I didn't know you then."
"Do you know what?" I looked at him and shook my head. "That's the most cheesy and cliché thing I have ever heard. This is just like one of those stupid movies, where the girl founds out the guy had been betting on her. They break up and she's about to leave. He follows her and comes clean. And they live happily ever after." I walked towards the bed with my books and threw them on the mattress. "But this is not a movie, Magnus. This is real life, and you can't just expect me to listen to you and then forgive you."
"I'm not expecting you to forgive me", he said and touched his neck. "I just want you to listen, that's all. Just listen and then you can do whatever you want afterwards." I shook my head and felt tears running down my cheeks. I took my hand up against my cheek, removing the tears.
"Where are you gonna go?" He asked. I could barely see anything. My eyes were filled with water and every time I spoke or blinked, the water would slide down my cheeks.
"That's your argument?" I laughed and turned back to packing my things. "Is that going to make me stay? Because as soon as I walk out that door, I'm going to be homeless? Because I'm not sure if I'm even welcome at my own home."
"Alec, please", I felt his voice tremble and it almost made me turn around to look at him. "Just listen to me."
"I've heard enough!" I turned around and saw him take a step back. My whole body was on fire and I couldn't stop the tears. "I don't want to listen to you. I can't stand listening to you! I can't stand your voice. Because… because", I covered my face in my hands and tried to catch my breath. "It hurts to much." I put the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying.
"Alec", Magnus reached out and touched my shoulder. "Don't go. Jus-" I pushed his hand away and took a step back.
"Don't touch me!" I yelled and felt my throat burn. "I'm going. And I'm going to be fine. I will be fine, because apparently I'm a 500-dollar fuck. So I think I will do just fine out there on the streets!"
"Don't call yourself that. Don't apply tha-"
"That what?" I threw my arms out. "That I would be a good 500 dollar fuck? Because that's what I was to you right? A 500 dollar fuck. A slut. A whore. A whore you said you loved! So, did you get a tip for saying that you loved me? Was that the icing on the cake, huh? Did it make you feel loved? Saying that you loved me, because no one ever said it back? Did you miss being loved? Do you miss mommy! Do you miss all those guys who fucked you and told you, you were special? Told you that they loved you. Told you tha-" I felt a smack against my cheek. It fast and hard and my head flew to the side. I gasped and touched my cheek. It was burning and a felt a tear run down it. I blinked and looked up, seeing Magnus with a surprised look in his eyes. He was angry and hurt. He was trying to hold back his tears, but when he blinked like he finally came back to reality, the tears flowed down his cheeks.
"Stop", Magnus whispered and took a step back. I looked down at the ground and turned around, finishing packing my things. I couldn't stand looking at him. I knew I had hurt him, just like he had hurt me. I wanted him to be hurt too. Maybe that was selfish, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to say I'm sorry, because I knew what I said was wrong. But I couldn't, I was to hurt myself. I zipped the bag close and turned around seeing Magnus, still standing in shock and looking down at his hand. I wanted to take a step toward him and say I deserved it, but again I couldn't. I was not going to make him a victim in this. He was not the victim. I was. This was his fault. It was his fault things made this turn.
"I'm going", I said and started to walk out of the door.
"I do love you", he suddenly said and I froze, with my hand on the handle. "I love you, Alec. And I'm sorry if you don't think I did, but I did. I still do. And I know you know that." I know, I thought. "And I know I messed up. I always do, but please-" He finally looked up, and I turned around to catch his stare. "- Just let me explain. I just want to talk to you." I blinked and felt the tears. I sniffed and turned the other way, not wanting him to see me like this anymore.
"I-" I took a deep breath. "I cant!" I opened the door and ran out, without looking back. I ran out into the hallway and opened the front door, closing it behind me. I ran down the stairs, feeling the cold air against my arms.
I ran and I ran, and I just kept running, until my breathing turned into hiccups. I stopped, using my hand to lean against the wall beside me. I fell against it and slid down the wall, and onto the cold and wet ground. I couldn't stop crying, and my tears got mixed in with the rain. I didn't know how much of the water on my face was my tears or the rain, but it didn't matter. I covered my face in my hands and I started to screamed. I screamed as loud as I could while the rain poured down onto my face.
"Why!" I yelled. "Why are you doing this to me!" I looked up into the dark sky above me and felt the rain drip into my eyes. "I was good. I was a good boy. I did everything right. I followed your rules! Why! God, why!" I sniffed and looked down at my hands. "I followed your rules", I whispered. "And now, when I wanted to be myself, it's not okay? It's not okay to be free? To feel free? I just wanted to be me and do what made me happy! What did I do wrong?" I shook my head and placed the palm of my hands on the ground. "I love you too", I said. "I love you so mu-uuch. I love you too, Magnus." I leaned my head against the wall and sniffed, trying to catch my breath. I closed my eyes, hoping that maybe if I opened them again it would all be a dream. I would wake up with Magnus next to me and we would just be asleep, in each others arms. It would all be perfect. Or maybe I should just never open my eyes again, and just keep them closed. Being consumed by the darkness, because right now it seemed like a better place.
"Alec?" I opened my eyes slowly and glanced up at the shadow in front of me.
"Magnus?" I shut them again and opened them again. The shadow was still there and it was bending down in front of me. It had blond hair sticking to its face and black eyes starring at me in surprise. "Sebastian?"
Okaaay! So a lot of slapping went on in this chapter haha, but it was all deserved. So Ragnor told Magnus WHY he was being an ass, does his argument make it okay? I'm just saying there is more to it, and it will be revealed of course. So… GOD, I'm so sorry of ruining the sweet Malec there has been going on. I posted that sweet chapter yesterday, than this? I feel bad… but it had to happen at some point. SO, Alec is hurt of course, but it also seems like he wants to forgive Magnus because he still loves him, right? But Alec is young and his heart breaks easily, so of course he is furious with Magnus. And he's acting like a child not wanting to listen to him, but I mean would you? Alec needs a break. And Magnus… oh sweet little Magnus. He is hurt, and angry with himself.
I just wanted to explain the situation a little bit. But I want to hear your thoughts and opinions.
Love you all! Review, pleeease! And AGAIN, thank you all so much for the reviews yesterday! There was so many and they were all fab just like you.
And now I'm off to a carnival!
xxxx
