A/N: Here is another episode in Lindir's Life. Unfortunately, this is a bit of a traumatic part for him, so I'll have to write a happy one after this. Thank you, all reviewers! I am more grateful to you than I can ever say.
One more note: this is AU, I must admit. There may be a little bit of confusion as to why Saruman is on the White Council at the same time as Aragorn is ruling Gondor. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff. It's alternate universe, okay? Where Saruman survives (because Saruman is totes awesome).
Book 5
Lindir and the Great Butterfly Ban
Chapter 1.
Life in Imladris had gotten a great deal happier and more peaceful since the departure of the five troublesome Elves. Elrond was slowly de-stressing, Lindir was able to be un-angsty, and Erestor had more time to read instead of suffering from constant headaches.
In fact, things were too good to last.
When life is good, something bad is bound to happen eventually, and this time it was due to Galadriel of Lothlorien, Lady of Light.
It happened at a meeting of the White Council, right in Imladris itself. Everyone in the White Council who was anyone, except for Gandalf, showed up for it. This does not, by the way, include Radagast. During their last meeting, Saruman the White had banned him because, for one thing he never showed up, and for another, Saruman had a bone to pick with Radagast that had something to do with mushrooms.
It was at this meeting that the fate of Middle Earth changed forever.
Or at least, the fate of Lindir.
And maybe not forever.
But be that as it may, it was still quite a horrible decision.
The reason it was allowed was because Gandalf couldn't make it to the council. He was extremely busy. 'And besides,' as he thought to himself, 'I make it to the council every stupid time, whereas everyone else only comes when he feels like it.'
That is how Galadriel was able to ban catching butterflies.
'Council members,' she whispered in their heads, 'I have decided that we are banning the catching of butterflies.'
'Why?' said Saruman dryly.
'Council adjourned,' said Galadriel.
'Wait, Lady Galadriel,' said Elrond, who was extremely intimidated by his mother-in-law, but not enough to let her make random laws for no reason. Well, I hope. 'The White Council wishes to know why such a ban should be created.'
'Because,' snapped Galadriel, forgetting to whisper in peoples' heads, 'I'm running out of them in Lothlorien. I like the way they look, and if people keep catching them, they'll go extinct.' She carefully failed to mention that Thranduil Elvenking had been gloating because he had far more in his realm than she did in hers.
'That's ridiculous,' said Saruman. 'Butterflies are not going extinct. There are thousands in Mirkwood-'
'La la la,' sang Galadriel, covering her ears with her hands, 'I'm not listening. I'm banning butterfly catching and that's that. And besides,' she added, proving she had been listening, 'Mirkwood is not Lothlorien.'
Saruman looked to Elrond for support. Elrond didn't like it, either, but only shrugged helplessly. He wasn't about to risk Galadriel's wrath; Arwen was in Lothlorien at the moment, and he didn't want his mother-in-law to send her home to plague him.
Saruman left the White Council in a very bad mood. He had this odd suspicion that no one ever listened to him.*
The news didn't get out until the next day. Elrond was in his study, calmly perusing a document when he heard a blood-curdling scream from somewhere outside.
In less than two seconds flat, Lindir was at the window, gasping and choking and looking like he'd seen a ghost.
Elrond, ever the medic, dropped his glasses and ran to where his hapless minstrel was writhing. 'What is it, Lindir?' he asked concernedly.
'My Lord Elrond,' he said, his eyes filling with tears of trauma.
'What?' asked Elrond.
'You've… banned… catching butterflies!' And Lindir fainted dead away.
Only then did it hit Elrond; how much this ban would affect his minstrel. Lindir caught butterflies a great deal. It was the way he de-stressed. When the troublesome Elves were around, it was the only way he survived. Now Elrond almost regretted having let Galadriel make this unnecessary law.
Something has to be done, he thought to himself as he dragged Lindir to the infirmary. I owe Lindir; he just helped me out of a terrible scrape. I must find some way to stop Galadriel's ban. But how do I do it without her murdering me?
Just as he was about to apply the much needed medication to Lindir, he heard another sound, this time a roar of frustration. Five seconds later a flash of grey streaked through the infirmary door and materialized before him.
'Elrond!' roared the flash of grey, 'this has gone too far!'
It was Gandalf.
'Why, Gandalf, how nice to see you,' said Elrond affably, ever the diplomat. 'Would you like some tea?'
'Do not think I am here to simply have tea,' yelled Gandalf. 'This is urgent! And by the way, yes, I'd like some tea.'
'My Lord Elrond,' said Lindir weakly, waking up. 'I will go fetch it.'
'Yes, do that,' said Elrond. 'Wait, no! Lindir, you're ill.'
'I am perfectly recovered,' said Lindir, sniffling and hurrying off.
Elrond was pained. He hoped there were no hard feelings; it wasn't exactly his fault, really.
'What were you saying, Gandalf?' he asked, turning back towards the wizard.
'I was speaking of this new ban,' said Gandalf grumpily. 'You can't just go about banning things- especially things on the "Top Favourite Pastimes of the Year" list.'
'You mean the butterflies?' Elrond sighed. 'Why on earth do you care?'
'How am I expected to survive my next adventure without catching butterflies?' Gandalf groaned. 'How will I summon the eagles? The ONE time I don't show up to the White Council. Why the one time?'
'Your tea,' said Lindir, handing it to Gandalf.
'Lindir agrees, don't you, Lindir?' said Gandalf.
'With what?' said Lindir.
'He agrees!' said the Wizard. 'Elrond, remove the ban instantly.'
'I can't,' said Elrond simply. 'It was made by Lady Galadriel.'
'Call another White Council; we'll vote it down,' said Gandalf.
'I'm not going to vote on your side, just so you know,' said Elrond.
Lindir and Gandalf both looked at him, aghast.
'You know I'd do almost anything for either of you,' said Elrond apologetically, 'but I can't risk Galadriel being mad at me at the moment. I did consider it for a while, but I've decided I just can't.'
'Sissy,' said Gandalf. 'Weakling. Do it, or I'll… oh, I don't know.' Gandalf sank dejectedly onto the floor and buried his head in his hands.
'I'm sorry, Gandalf,' said Elrond, 'but I simply can't risk Galadriel's wrath. You know what my daughter did the last time I let her come home? She decorated my study! DECORATED! Disgusting.'
'Can I get you more tea?' asked Lindir of Gandalf.
'I'm going to DIE!' moaned Gandalf. Lindir took that as a yes.
'I'll do what I can to protect those who disobey this law,' said Elrond, 'but I cannot remove it.' He quickly removed himself from the place of mourning.
'If I may be so bold,' said Lindir, sitting down beside the wizard, 'perhaps I could propose a plan...'
I'm sorry it's been so long. I really am. I've had a very busy summer, but now I'll have lots more time. Missed you all! I hope you like this new book. :)
