Chapter 28.


Niik.

"Just try it" Record drew her sword, and all of us joined in. Even Serana had her knife out ready to stick up for her, just like Record had done for her many times already.

I didn't like Serana being slapped like that. If it weren't for their relation to each other I'd have stepped in sooner. Threatening Recorder on the other hand, is something I'll step in for because I have less doubt in my mind that Valerica might actually act on that threat.

All that in mind, I can't allow any of us to kill her to any extent, not that we actually can here, as I still need her co-operation to learn how to save my own children from this world.

"She's my friend, so say you're sorr… Record?"

I quickly glanced to my right before turning my attention back to Valerica in case she made a move. But a split second was all it took to see that Record was missing.

"How did she… Record!" Serana called again.

Ignoring Valerica for now, I too sheathed my weapon to look around the area.

"Someone else was here" Betty announced sniffing at the air just a few steps from where Record was standing. "Right on this spot, but no tracks other than ours"

With a thought, I sent Fang off with his nose to the ground. He walked around the spot but only covered his snout with a paw to signal the trail stopped.

"She didn't sprout wings and fly away. Your mutt is just useless" Valerica huffed rolling her eyes at our combined concern for a human.

"Did no one see anything?"

Everyone shook their heads. They were all ready to defend against Valerica, or at the very least intimidate her into backing down. Nobody was looking at Record once weapons got pulled out.

"well…" Helgi mumbled to herself. "I don't know, she was there, then…" She waved her hands apart. "gone!"

"You didn't see a light? Maybe like the one that happens before I summon Fang?"

The girl shook her head.

"If something like that happened we'd all have noticed it. Whatever became of her was not caused by traditional use of mana, possibly not even Daedra" Valerica muttered, sounding less worried about Record and more intrigued by the method of which she was taken.

"Niik, Record always spoke about her Academy, do you think maybe…" Even before Serana was finished talking, I was already considering the likelihood of them being involved. But then she suggested something I hadn't expected. "Maybe that dragon we fought was Alduin? If that's so, then her job is over"

I just smiled shaking my head. I'd like to imagine she was home and as safe as that ever made her, but I had a feeling that it's not true.

"I've seen the black beast Alduin myself. That wasn't him, and even if it were the case I'd hope she'd say goodbye before leaving" On that same note, when I first met Record she made it sound like she'd seen Alduin too, so she'd have been really frantic in her excitement if the battle she'd been waiting for had happened. Plus she hadn't written about it yet, the very point for her being here.

"wait…" I walked over to the table we'd been sitting at. Her diaries were still there, but when I opened one they were filled with blank pages, but I could smell the ink that was there. "They took her…" I growled slamming it shut.

"We can't know that yet, remember this is the soul cairn, a lot of strange happenings are probably common here"

I turned to Valerica to see if she'd back up Serana's claim.

"It would be the first I've seen a physical body be shifted without provocation. There are ripples in the ground in certain places, the few I've examined only let ghosts travel through them" She shrugged.

I sighed deeply, feeling my hands ball into fists. I hoped I had more time, but Record is lost, and I planned on finding her.
A vampire has no tricks for something like this, but the mastery trial in the school of illusion involves seeing what isn't there. I opened one book and set it on the table. Hovering my flat outstretched hands knuckle to knuckle over the pages, I had to visualise glyphic images while forcing my eyes to look beyond the paper in front of my hands.
When I parted my hands keeping my index-fingertips together and letting my thumbs from the bottom of a triangle, the space between my hands lit up slightly, and in the negative space, the pages revealed the missing texts in Record's handwriting.
I had to read many books in this manor before accepting the title of archmage, but like with so many trials, I never thought for a second I'd need to use it for something I actually cared about.

"What are you doing?" Serana asked looking over my shoulder.

"A magic trick" I told her before slamming my hands on the sheets of paper. A mist of blues and greens escaped from the pages. When I raised my hands, the ink had returned in full.
I repeated the process four more times, bringing all Record's diaries to how they were before they were tampered with.

"Why didn't they just take the books?" Serana asked.

"The Omnicos memorises every page for them, they don't need the actual books. They probably thought removing the words was good enough… too bad for them"

"Well we have her books, but how will that help us find her?" Serana asked.

"Us?" I asked turning to her. "You have Valerica, aren't you staying?"

She narrowed her eyes on me.

"I came to see if she'd help us against my father. But if Record needs us then everything else can all wait until after we find her. Just tell me the plan"

I gave her a nod before turning to face my girls.

"Babette…" I felt the girl shift to turn to me. Its been a long, long while since I used her un-shortened name. She already looked at me with that pouty face, hold habits again. I remember her calling me out once, saying that I only call her by that name when I need her to do something for me.
This is no different.
She stood defensively as I approached and took a knee in front of her.

"What do you want?" She asked crossing her arms.

"Your, night mother, was it? Could she help you find Record for me?"

She blinked at me before scoffing a chuckle.

"Yes, if you prayed for the Dark Brotherhood to end her life for you and promised to pay us for it "

"No way I can make it worth their time just to find her for me?" I asked, and watched her roll her eyes and start walking away.

"no one bother me" Betty muttered, only to be quickly intercepted by her sister soon after. "I'm not going anywhere, just need time to… pray…"

"You don't believe in any god" Helgi reminded her.

"well I've found one since you d-… last saw me"

"Can your sister go with you if she promise to be quiet?"

Betty made a face at me, but she gave in and let Helgi follow her to find somewhere out the way. I trusted that if she hears the Night Mother in her head then she can speak to her the same way. Her sister need not know what she gets up to in her free time if that's what upsets her, but even still I knew I was being unfair and manipulative to make her keep the girl busy for me.
I just needed time to talk to Valerica without either the pair of them hearing.

"Can I save her? Is there a way" I asked Valerica once it was just us and Serana.

"maybe" She muttered sounding uninterested, despite the fact that her answer was far better than what I expected to hear. She looked at me with a smirk. "It's actually quite easy in theory. You get her little soul and entrap it in a black gem. The gem you brought her in with will have been converted to black by passing through the portal, so that won't be a problem. Then all you need to do is get a daedra to insert her soul into her body and if he takes pride in himself, he'll revive her for you too"

And like that, my hope was turned to ash.

"Her body has perished" I explained, and she just nodded with that same smile.

"A body is just a vessel, and some souls change vessel like a human changes clothes. Find her another body to go into. Just make sure it's of an age where her soul can settle properly, too young or too old and the soul will reject the body. The hard part is bringing the body back to life, for that you will need a Daedra. But if the host body is still alive then I can just do it myself"

"Is that the only way?" I asked.

"I'm afraid so. But don't worry yourself. All mortals die eventually, what are the lives of one more if it means you can have your child back for a few extra decades?"

Serana turned to me. She could see how much Valerica's words wounded me. I'd need to sacrifice an innocent child just to save my own.
I've balanced someone's life on a razor's edge while they begged for mercy. I've eaten human flesh from bone. I stepped on people's lives like they were simply the ground I walked on. Described as a Daedra dressed as a man.
But the one thing I could never do nor tolerate, was children being the subject of our evil acts.
The cannibal cult of Namira may have been revived in recent years but given what happened to everyone at the last meal I attended, I'm sure the rules got a little tighter on who's on the menu. That was actually before meeting Babette. But that boy's parents were still living and were meant to be eaten after him. After painting the walls red, I freed the family of three and let them spread the word for me that the cult was dead.
So faced with this impossible choice, I could only remind myself that my girl lived happily already.
Her early death was sad but the guilt she'd feel seeing a dead girl's face every time she looks in a mirror, I think it would drive her to the brink of insanity.
I won't do it.

"Father!"

I spun at the sound of Helgi's voice. She was shaken up and frightened, but not her usual way. A snarling animal would reduce her to tears, but ghosts can't cry.
I closed in on the space between us quickly to see her.

"Whats wrong?" I asked holding her close to calm her down. But she wasn't as torn up as I lead myself to believe.

"The, Dragon wants to see you"

I looked over her shoulder, seeing through the walkway behind the support columns, I saw Betty standing her ground with her blade in hand looking back and forth between something scaring her and me.

After telling Helgi to hide, I dashed forward to Betty's side and true enough, the Dragon was in fact towering over us just outside the arena.

"Stay your weapons. I would speak with you, Qahnaarin" The Dragon's voice boomed.

I felt my hand lower in disbelief but still, I turned back to Betty and ordered her to find Helgi and keep her assured.

"But-"

"Now!" I demanded.

Her eyes kept on me as she headed back inside. Once it was just me and the Dragon, I turned back to face it. It can talk. Something that although shocked me, I didn't see any point in questioning. Instead, I just wanted to get relevant information form him.
For one, Valerica was blaming me for it.

"Did you arrive here through me?" I asked.

"Geh Ahrk Nid. My soul was torn from my mind. I roamed this dreaded land for centuries without a form. The one lost to you, her kind damaged my soul when they defiled and stole from my burial site"

"You mean Recorder…" I reached into my pouch and held up the small bone she handed to me when we first met. "This is what she took? But if you've been like this for centuries, then how could she be responsible?"

"Tiid Los Kreh, The effects of their involvement, impacts the future of this world, but the pasts of another. I was freed today, but will not be captured for a long time"

My best understanding lead to a theory on what happened here. Record's people when they first came to this world did so in the future and learned of ages past, the events of today. So they sent someone, Recorder, to go learn what happened back then. In this future, they stole from a dead dragon to use as a means of finding me.

"hypocrites" I muttered before looking up to the dragon. "So, how can I help you?" I asked feeling something of a salesman as I asked. But Helgi did tell me the Dragon wanted me for something, so I was intrigued to learn for what exactly.

"I want Stin!" It growled.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"Stin is Freedom in your tongue"

"okay" He clearly speaks both languages, I obviously don't, so I don't know why he's being awkward with this. "Well I don't know how to get undead souls out of here"

"A Dovah's name is powerful. Merely speak it to the skies of Tamriel, and I shall cross them once again"

"And what? You'll just be another Dragon I've got to kill, Alduin is bad enough"

"You are Qahnaarin. I would not challenge one who vanquished me once already"

"Trust the word of a dragon…" I rolled my eyes looking at him. "What if I refused?" The Dragon's wing rose and slammed into the sand causing a small quake, but I didn't even blink staring the dragon in its eyes. "If you want freedom, you'll have to pay for it" I told him.

"Paaz Ahrk Vahzah, what do you want?"

I looked at his 'body' and although it had more martial to it than the other ghosts, I still had his bone in my pouch. That tells me his body, alive or dead pending on the timeline, is still outside the soul cairn. Meaning he should have just as hard of time leaving through the portal just as any other soul.

"If you get out of here, you'll be the first soul to do so. What I want, is to hear what you have to say about my daughter. Her body is gone and her soul is trapped here. One way or another, I will free her soul before I leave" I could feel tensions rising in the dragon. I was asking a lot, but so was he.
And after much chat about possible solutions to both our problems, I eventually learned the dragon was named Durnehviir.

"A chosen title, to speak of my suffering. Cursed to Never Die"

"If you were to reach Tamriel, would that free you of the curse?"

"Nii Nis Kos, I cannot escape for long, for the soul cairn will claim me again and again, same for your Kiir, your children. Nuz Aan Mal Tiid Nol Kos Horvut, I only wish to taste the air above"

"But I can bring you back as many times as I like? My child too?"

Durnehviir nodded his head. I had previously considered re-summoning the Daedra to bring Helgi. Something like that should be within their power. The problem is that too many 'favours' will attract the attention of Daedra Lords. And they might personally oversee my girl's transfer, for a price of course. They could demand I sacrifice any number of people just to break even with the unpaid debts. Anything I'm willing to do, they'll push me an edge forward.
As strange as it is, trusting a dragon might actually be safer.

"Okay. You have a deal"

"Zu'u Fen Ni Lo Fahdon. Their souls will be weak, but if they endure, they will be freed for as long as I am, but being pulled from one world to another may harm them"

Coming into the world is never pleasant, with luck my power will suppress whatever pain they're feeling. One thing that bothered me was Durnehviir made it sound like he'll be in control. She'll be free for as long as he is, as if to say if I try to pull out on him and send him back to the soul cairn, he'll pull my daughter with him.

"So shouting your name to the skies will summon you, how do I free my girl?"

"Rii Vaaz and Zol, are the words that will capture a being's soul and rise the unlife"

"Soul trap and conjuring a zombie. I can to that already"

"The soul once trapped becomes one with you, to bring forth as you please"

"Rii, Vaaz Zol. Those are the correct words?"

"Yes Fahdon, that is the shout in full, but for Rovaan Sil, you need only Rii and Vaaz"

"RII, VAAZ!" I yelled to the sky. But nothing happened . Clearly my power really did disappear when Durnehviir was released as I walked through the portal, so he will need to take my girl's soul and bring her to the surface personally. Assuming he can even do that.

"Prove this works first, capture that ghost there and bring it here" I picked a soul at random. In the dark of the void, Durnehviir and I were most likely invisible to them at this distance. He won't see it coming. Durnehviir turned around with his wings ready to flap down on me, he soared across the sand and shouted the words into the row of ghosts, and all of them disappeared in a puff of light.
Durnehviir swooped back around before landing before me. Head back, he prepared another shout.

"Hon Dii Zul! Daal Sizaan Sil!"

The souls appeared again like they were his very breath to draw in and out like he pleased, making me wonder what I could do if I learned those words to their full potential. Who needs soul gems when I can keep the souls for myself?
My face fell. Not thirty minutes unsupervised by those I care about, and my old ways crept into my mind once more.

Shaken and terrified, the conjured souls all tried to flee immediately, but I grabbed one and demanded to know if what just happened to him and if hurt at all.
He didn't answer at first, so to make him comply I use some seduction on him... Recorder has completely ruined that power forever.
Never the less, he said it didn't hurt. So I'm more okay with it being used to help Helgi escape.

"I'll gather my friends and promise my girl I'll see her again" I told Durnehviir before turning my back. "When we leave the soul cairn, I'll summon you. And you'll bring her to me, correct?"

"Bring her to me, and I'll ferry her to the other side, at your command, Fahdon"

"try not to frighten her" I asked knowing it was probably a hopeless wish. But at least there was a way to save Helgi now. The arrangement may not be perfect, but at least it's something.


Record.

"Umm… Excuse me, sir?" I asked one of the ghosts standing by the enormous staircase leading to the white light in the sky. "What is that exactly?" The towering stairs leading into the stormy sky. Could be how the vamps and I got here, but for all I know there are hundreds of those

The ghost man laughed at me for a moment before shrugging.

"Oh, it's the way out. Just up those stairs. You go on ahead, I'm still waiting for my, brother…"

"Really?" I looked up at the portal. Funny how I could have sworn the stairs collapsed from under me and yet they stood just fine. Plus I ended up billions of miles away from the portal too. "You didn't happen to see a Vampire guy and gal walk this way did you?"

"Actually, yes. They went that way…" He turned to face me, this time more confused than before. "your voice, you were with them weren't you? It was you, the vampires, the ghost and the wolf"

"oh crap…" I looked at the portal. It's not going anywhere. But if a posse like that came in through there, then Serana's father might be on to us. I didn't think he was using ghost and wolfs as well, aren't swarms of vampire men and undead dogs enough? "crap crap crap!" I thought about my options. Head up the stairs and wait for them, or charge blindly back into the waste and maybe find them to help, or more likely get lost again.

"okay, think…" I spotted a small ruined structure just off the path. I decided to hide in there since it gave me a view of the stairs and it's somewhat fortifiable. But knowing my luck, I'll just end up cornered if a vampire attacks me. I found the sand disturbed in my little bunker. People had been here already it seemed.

"oh well. For now, it's my sniping nest" I had my bow ready as I both looked around for threats and evaluated my situation. Being this close to the exit had its advantages, but I didn't even know if this portal was The portal to Valerica's lab.

At the very least I should poke my head up and look before I bunker down. If a vampire is waiting for me on the outside then… Talos damn it.

"more walking..." I groaned as I snuck out my hidey hole. I kept checking around myself to make sure I wasn't about to step into the line of sight of Harkon's followers, but as I climbed the hundreds of steps to the vicious cloud line looming threateningly above, I'd occasionally looked down to the bottom to see that I'd gathered something of a ghost audience. Some of them were shouting words of encouragement to reach the top.
Nice of them, but it made me suspicious about why none of them were going for it. One guy waiting for someone is fair enough, but surly some of them would be the kind to push others out of the way to save themselves. The escape is right here, and everyone for some reason is letting me go first.
Maybe they know it leads to Harkon's castle and would rather not face him?
Maybe they think I'll beat him.

"Haha, cute" I laughed thinking of myself taking on a pure blooded bat-rat like Harkon by myself. I'd be safer walking into a giant shredder.

Suddenly, the cheers from below turned to panic. I was just nearing the top when I heard shouts to run get called out. I looked down just as I dragon was starting to land at the foot of the stairs.

"Why Are There Dragons Here?!" I yelled to myself while full-on sprinting up the rest of the stairs. I stumbled and nearly hiting my chin on the last few steps, but I quickly picked myself up for the last stretch till the end.

A feeling shot through like a jolt of electricity, my vision was black and I fell winded on the ground. I coughed as I looked up at the stormy sky and felt the hard stone floor beneath my hands.
I sat up and looked around. I was inside a tower. I walked outside and found some stones in an arrow shape.
Two of the stones read: 'NICE CATCH IDIOT!' and below that, 'COME FIND ME!'

"God, Fucking… Damn IT!" I screamed to the skies. I was so enraged, I was shaking all over.
I caught a flash from behind me and when I turned to look there were more ghosts then before, but I didn't hear the lightning strike. In fact, they all looked like they were crawling up from behind some piled bricks.

"Oh, there you are" Called the one ghost I spoke to at the steps "So this is your tower huh?"

"No! I just randomly appear here!" I scorned. "hours I walked, fucking HOURS!"

He laughed at me, but seeing the absolute rage on my face made him rethink who he should piss off.

"Sorry, it's funny. So many see this newly discovered way out and, like a moth to a flame, it's funny" He chuckled. "Me and the others are heading back once the dragon goes away. But I' tell you, I think I saw your vampire friends riding on its back just before we all escaped"

"Wait, Niik was on that Dragon?" I couldn't believe it, I was so close. Now I'm back where I started.

"If you want to head back, I can show you how" The ghost man said.
Too stunned to speak, I just stared at him. He rolled his eyes and guided me to behind the rocks.
Sticking out of the ground was a small round structure like a well, only instead of water it looked like the poison blood Niik drank, only purple and somehow less inviting.

"These portals are all over the place, they-"

"PORTALS!" I yelled at him. "I passed hundreds of these things, you're telling me they're Portals? To where?"

"Anywhere… in the soul cairn at least. Towers and the castle mostly since they're the easiest to remember"

"Damn it…" I sighed looking into the purply goop just an arm's length below me. "How does it work?"

"Just picture that big portal in the sky. When you jump through you should be there, more or less"

"Thank you" I told him. "Just one thing though, why didn't any of you come up the steps with me? don't you want to leave?"

His smile faded.

"You haven't figured it out?" He asked. "Us ghosts can't leave this place. I mean, you saw what happened to you"

"What makes these portals so different?"

"I don't know" He admitted looking into it with me. "All I know is, the vampire queen couldn't ever use them, but ghosts can"

"Valerica? so she is here" I may be behind the vamps, but at least Serana got what she wanted. This mess wasn't for nothing.

"Yes, we've been over this, uh…" He gave me weird looks.

"Sorry, gotta go!" I cheered before leaping into the well. "Why is it sticky?" Just like actual blood, it soaked into my armour and pulled me in. I expected the portal to work like the first one I entered to come to the soul cairn, but I was literally drowning in disgust.
On the word of a ghost roaming around in hell I jumped into a blood well…
What the hell is wrong with me?
I swam for the top, reaching to grab the edge and pull myself out. Somehow under all the weight, I found the strength I'd need to pull myself out. I rolled over the top of the wall and flopped onto the sand like a freshly caught fish.
When I tried to clean some of the blood from my eyes, I felt dry fingers brushing past my lids.

"huh?" I sat up looking myself over. Although the blood felt inky in the well, it dripped off like red mercury on the outside. Whats better is that the portal acted as promised. I was behind the ruins just off the path, and even sitting from where I was I could see the portal in the sky.

"why are you still here brat?"
"because I still plan on killing you"

"that voice" I muttered to myself as I crept over nearer while trying to maintain ninja like discretion. When I peeked over the wall, I saw someone who I almost took for Serana, but her face was more matured and her hair was shorter. Standing next to her was a young girl.

"With my father plotting to kill your husband, I'll need to find a way of killing you quickly otherwise the Brotherhood will be out of a lot of money"

"You're welcome to try again" The woman said with a confident smile. "But I can do a lot worse to you than tanning your hide" As she spoke, her body seemed to shroud itself in a dark fog, leaving only the red of her eyes shining through. "Serving the prince of domination, you learn a lot about pain. And I can give just as much as I endured, and since I don't have to worry about killing you, there's no need for me to restrain any infliction I feel worthy of a self-important, overconfident little bitch such as you"

"Hmph" The girl lowered her head with her own little air of confidence. "That's fine, the more you hurt me, the more I'll have to tell" She said with a chirp in her voice. "Father might not approve of me killing you yet, but I'm sure if you hurt me he'll change his-offft"

It was so fast. The woman stepped forward and kneed the girl in the chest so hard she came off the ground. She knelt down beside the wheezing girl and lifted her by the neck while she was still gasping.

"Run along and tell your papa if you want, but at least try to get some perspective about you" Her face was lost of expression. Not trying to threaten or ridicule, more like someone instilling a lesson. "…there are matters taking place far more important than you or your little guild"

The girl opened her eyes, leaving no doubt in my mind that she had to be another immortal to have taken a hit like that and survive.

"How about I make you a deal sweetheart?" The woman asked bringing back that same mocking tone. "Bring me my husband's head and I'll gladly walk up those steps and let you kill me"

"I, can't kill, the, client…" The girl grunted through her pain.

"I'm not saying kill him, just prove to me he's dead. It's a fairer deal than you deserve" The woman let the girl drop to her hands and knees in the ash. "I'll sweeten the deal too. If Serana is still alive when you come back, I'll give you My Elder Scroll. I bet you'll get more for it than anything Harkon promised"

I ducked lower and opened my bag to get out my books. The academy will want to hear about this.

"Don't look so surprised. How do you think I found the bow? or how I learned to use it properly? I didn't spend all those years doing nothing"

"Complete our longest running contract and walk away with an Elder Scroll…" The girl took a long second pretending to think it over. "I think I can accept these terms"

"Remember, that scroll is yours only if Serana is alive"

"Yeah yeah, I heard. Father will probably take care of that for me while I find, whats her name, Record?"

Pen down, I looked over the wall. The girl looked like she was just about to climb the steps, but did she just say she was Niik's daughter?
In fact with the light coming in from the portal, I could make out her face a little better, and see her little bag hanging from her neck.

"Betty?" I gasped in surprise.

The girl turned to look right at me and I froze. Betty's body then broke apart into a flock of scattering bats and before I knew what was happening, I was slammed against the wall by a tiny hand up against my back.

"Who Are You?" She demanded, grabbing my shoulder and turning me around to face her. "Tell me… what in oblivion…?" She looked me up and down. "How'd you…" Betty saw the woman approached and stood back from me.

I scampered to my feet as two sets of yellow eyes stared at me.

"Hmm, that makes things simple" The woman said. "I can unite the body and soul again once Serana and Havod bring it back"

I was speechless at first. Actually thinking I'd need to defend myself.

"Are you, Valerica, Serana's mother?" I asked.

Betty raised her eyebrow at me like I said something stupid, but the woman just rolled her eyes.

"We met already, in a way" She smirked looking down to the confused girl. "You should go quickly brat, let them know we've already found the soul"

"But I thought she was taken? Did they kill her too?"

"No, like I said already, any vessel that comes through that portal separates itself from the soul, this one must have been wondering about all this time, no doubt oblivious to whats been happening"

"I'm, oblivious to what you two are talking about" I looked at the pair staring back at me. "Betty, you're a vampire?"

"I'm not telling it all again" The girl sighed walking away. "Ask my father when he comes back, I'm leaving" Betty burst into bats and flew up the stairs and through the portal, leaving me with Valerica.

"Hopefully they'll find your body soon. Until then, have this" She handed me a book, one that I'd definetly seen before.

"wait a minute, how did you get that?" I dismissed the book in her hand at first just so I could look through my bag and count my diaries. All five were accounted for. "Oh, sorry I thought, never mind… So, what was that about my body?"

Valerica just opened her book and turned to a random page.

"Okay, usually I'd be worried about coming off as creepy, but J'zargo's fur is just so warm and soft. He's like a big kitty teddy bear. If he wasn't so full of himself he'd be an awesome snuggle buddy" Valerica stopped reading and looked me dead in the eyes.

I was mortified bound words, and so grateful no one I knew was around to hear any of that. But Valencia is my friend's mother so…

"nope" I sighed drawing my sword and holding it out with the point aiming back at my chest. "Good-bye world…" I pulled the blade in just an inch closer before my armour forced the blade to skew off to the side. "Please don't breathe a word of that to anyone!" I begged literally on my knees in front of her. "I'd die of embarrassment"

Valerica slammed the book shut before smacking me on the head with it, which actually made me happy to have gone paperback for the diaries. Or leather, technically.

"How Serana finds a fool like you worth effort, I'll never know" Valerica said to herself as she walked away.

"Is she here? We were looking for you, did she find you okay?" I asked following close behind with my eyes locked on the hand carrying my book.

"You just missed her. The Dragon gave everyone a ride to the portal, saved a lot of time"

"Are you serious? I was running away from that!" I slapped my own forehead. "and I wanted to ride a dragon"

"Don't mumble!" Valerica snapped. "I can't kill you for a number of reasons, so speak properly or not at all"

"yes ma'am" I said to myself watching her walk on for a bit before looking back at the portal. I only just missed them, maybe I could catch them if I'm really fast up all those steps?
But first I needed something. "uh, can I have that book back please?" Without a look back, Valerica tossed the journal over her shoulder and sent it rolling through the air. I caught it between my hands and gathered the few loose pages that flew out while it was airborne. "thanks for that…" I muttered angrily as fixed the pages. "I'll leave you alone now"

That got her attention, she turned to watch me walk back to the portal.

"I'll make this quick" She yelled to me as I was going the other way. "Believe me or ignore me, you're nothing but a ghost right now. Separated from your physical body since the moment you stepped foot through that portal. If you want proof, check the last few pages of that diary of yours"

I stopped in place and did what she said. As I flipped the pages, I could see for myself my hands were flesh and blood. So this was the least convincing lie I'd ever heard, although I was confused how she had a copy of my diary.

"what the hell?" I whispered when I found the last pages before empty paper. I knelt down and opened my original copy to compare side by side.
Word for word, everything was exact. Every stroke of the pen, every dot and every smudge. The differences only started from when I was recalling the events leading up to Harkon's castle and what happened after I entered the portal and my journey through the sandy waste. Those parts were written in my book when I took a break from walking and sought shelter in one of the towers I passed, whereas the other book told a different story after stepping in the portal.
Stories about Niik being a father to two kids, one a ghost and vampire. A page about walking as a group to find Valerica and arriving at a huge black stone arena where skeletons over watched us with bows and arrows. Then in a different chapter was all about how Niik and Babette met.
But the most relevant parts for the matter at hand were Niik's ghost girl, how she supposedly didn't see herself as a ghost.

"Okay, my mind is blown" I sighed closing the books. If I trust Valerica, then I can't rely on how I appear to myself. Also, this means there's another me somewhere. Another me who's obviously alive and well since she wrote in her diary. "wait, Why did she give you her diary" I wouldn't trust mine to anyone, it's the only weapon I have against being erased.

"You gave it to Niik actually, and he gave it to me"

"again, Why? … why to both?" Something told me I shouldn't trust Niik with my stuff anymore if he gives it to Queen Daedra so willy-nilly.

"Well, after I explained your soul would be wandering around here somewhere, he wanted you to be up to speed on whats happened to your other self. So he asked that I give you this book if I happen to find your soul before he returns with your body, assuming he finds it of course"

"Finds it? Where did it…" I didn't like the feeling the new pronoun was giving me. "Why are we suddenly referring to my other self 'it' instead of 'her'? Has something happened?"

"Something about your academy stealing you from him, it was rather pathetic how much he cares for you. He took the other four diaries to let your body read once they find it, that was the plan, yes?"

"yes…" I felt my eyes go heavy with the feeling of tears but I couldn't bring myself to cry. If this is all true then, the academy let me go. Maybe that's why Omnico wasn't listening to me before… or maybe he was tracking my body at the time. "little bastard…" I sniffed while rubbing my tearless eyes. Omnico was annoying but knowing he'd never get to annoy me again, it actually made me really sad. But I tried to force myself to only see the positives. For one, if I had to be lost in a world. I'm glad it's one where I'm friends with the assigned hero. And the world itself despite all the crazy magic and nonsense, isn't so alien that I couldn't see myself adapting to the new life.
And as for everything and everyone I'm leaving behind, well…

"fuck'em all" I whispered to the ground before looking up at the stormy sky. "You Hear Me?!" I pulled my copies of the Dragon Born Records from my bag and threw them all to the air with my fingers held to the sky. "FUCK YOU All!" I cheered as loudly as I could twirling in the spot. "yeah… fuck yous, phew… I feel better" I couldn't stop smiling, even as I watched Valerica's eyes study me like I belong in an insane asylum.

"I told Serana I'd keep you at the castle until she comes back for you. So follow me"

"Is it far?" I asked looking at my feet, half expecting blisters too be filling my boots. "Wait a Minute!" I screamed when the startling realisation hit me. My body wasn't my body, it's a ghost form.

"Whats wrong now?" Valerica demanded.

"Oh nothing, I only worked my legs half to death marching through sand and ash for frigging hours! And I'll have nothing to show for it when I get my body back" I thought about the other me being out there, probably cramming a sweet roll into her face. "lucky bitch, I'll send her through the desert before reclaiming my body. Mark my words"

Valerica stopped listing to me shortly after my rant began.

I wasn't mad at the other me, not really.
I was just tired and sore from the long walk and my phantom stomach wouldn't stop rumbling the whole way. I've just learned my body is missing somewhere, and I've been fired from the only job I've ever had, I've become legally homeless, and my only friends I care about, are in a different dimension, while I'm chilling with the queen of vampires, in this reality's version of Hell.
So yeah, I'm kinda miffed.


Record: "Woo! Record is still here!"

Author: "In Jedi ghost form. Yes"

Record: "Not even my final form! I'll just do a fusion dance with my human self and Bam! We'll be one again!"

Author: "Too many references Record. Too many"