Sorry about the delay. I meant to post this a couple of nights ago, but I got distracted by Beyoncé's Coachella performance because, come on. That shit was distract-worthy. Anyways, this is the last chapter update. I have an epilogue that I will post on the night of the finale, but this is pretty much the end of the road. Unfortunately, this will be my last fanfic. With the series wrapping, I feel the need to wrap it up myself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to everyone who has read, followed, favorited, and reviewed this project. Y'all have empowered me to create these little worlds with all of the characters we love.


THREE MONTHS LATER

Olivia relaxed back in her bed. She had about fifteen minutes before Fitz would come back upstairs. She had fifteen minutes to herself, which was incredibly rare these days. She slid between the covers, careful not to get too comfortable or else she wouldn't want to get back up. Her fingers slid underneath the fabric of her underwear. She took a deep breath, letting her fingers take over her cluttered brain as they found her clit. Slowly, but predictably, Olivia began to relax. She pulled the covers up to her neck and gently cupped her breast. She was about halfway there, when something interrupted her.

"Liv?"

Fitz's voice made her freeze. She carefully pulled her hand out of her pants and lifted her head. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"Just resting." She sat up and got out of bed like nothing happened, discretely wiping her hand on the inside of her shirt. "Do you want to shower tonight or tomorrow morning?"

"Tonight, you have too much going on in the morning."

"Come on, let's get you to your grandpa chair." Olivia winked, leading him to the bathroom.

"You are enjoying this too much." Fitz said, as Olivia slowly undressed him. Olivia frowned when she saw the scars. They were inescapable and gruesome, even two months after the incident. Fitz followed her gaze and decided to distract her.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked, as he began to toy with the hem of her shirt.

"There is a power balance here. I'm naked, and you are not."

"You are lucky that I am not doing this in a turtleneck." Olivia tested the water. It was hot enough, so she grabbed the nozzle and began to wash Fitz. "FITZ." She protested as his tugged at her shorts.

"I'm cleared for sexual activity."

"From the waist down."

"Luckily, that is the half of me that can facilitate sexual activity." He smirked.

"Hold this." Olivia handed him the nozzle and began to lather a loofah. "You still can't take deep breaths, you could hurt yourself."

Fitz got a mischievous look in his eyes, and before Olivia could stop him, he was spraying her with the water stream. "You're wet."

"I could kill you right now." Olivia disarmed him and sprayed him in the face.

"Seriously… Your clothes are wet. There is no need for them to stay on you."

Olivia realized that no matter what happened, she was still in control. "If you insist…"

She stood dangerously close to him and slowly pulled her tank top over her head, letting her breasts settle back into place. Fitz already had his fingers looped around her shorts and was pulling them down. She tossed her wet clothes to the floor and began to lather his chest. She was careful, softly massaging the suds into his chest so that it didn't hurt. Her breasts were right at his eye level, and she was trying to pretend that she didn't know how it was affecting him.

"Close your mouth, or you might get soap in it." Olivia said, moving the loofah down his abs. He made no effort to hide his erection, almost adjusting his hips to make it more obvious. His hand wandered around to her ass, but she applied pressure to his ribs, making him take a sharp inhale. "That is what I thought."

"You are a cruel woman."

"I am nursing you back to health after a close encounter with death." Olivia finished rinsing his legs off and moved to stand behind him. "You should be more grateful. Close your eyes."

Fitz obeyed, as she rinsed his hair. He sighed in relaxation as she gently massaged his scalp with shampoo. "I love you."

"I know. Keep your mouth shut unless you want to taste soap."

"There are a couple of things I would rather taste." Fitz leaned his head back and winked at her.

"Do you hear the things that come out of your mouth sometimes?" Olivia laughed. She finished rinsing his hair and circled back to the front of him. "How is your pain? Scale of 1-10."

"10." He said, completely turning her question into something else.

Olivia stood between his legs, with her hands on his shoulders. "Be very still."

"Okay."

"I'm serious." Olivia said. "Try and get fresh with me, and I will stop."

"Deal."

She reached for the bottle of baby oil on the wall and poured a small amount in her hand. Fitz spread his legs so that she could stand between them. She reached down, firmly grasping his penis in one hand, while placing her other hand on the chair back behind him. He had the best view of her fully naked, as she began to pleasure him. He strained his neck to kiss her, but she pulled back.

"Don't get fresh." Olivia reminded, moving his hand from her hip back to his side. "Just relax."

He focused on how beautiful she was and the incredible it felt when she was pleasuring him. "Fuck, I love you."

"I know." She smirked.

"Can I please?"

"No." Olivia wasn't letting him touch her, not because he was she was worried he might overextend himself. She was worried that if she let him touch her, then she would lose her self-control. She wasn't the only sexually frustrated person in that shower. She jerked him off until he was cumming in her hand.

"Fuck." He moaned. His torso was in pain, but it was nothing compared to how she just made him feel. She finished rinsing him off and turned the water off.

"How is your pain?" She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. She helped Fitz stand with his crutch and began to dry him off.

"Zero." He grinned.

"Mmhmm." Olivia laughed. "Can you get your pajamas on by yourself? I need to go drag Alex from the TV."

"I can manage."

"I'll be back after I tuck her in, and we can do those physical therapy exercises."

When Olivia came back from getting Alex into her pajamas and in bed, she found Fitz bracing against the dresser. He was struggling to get his leg in the right position to stretch, and the strenuous activity was making him break a sweat.

"Fitz, what are you doing? You can't do that alone."

Fitz grunted, letting her help him to the bed. "I was trying to do it so that you wouldn't have to help me."

"It is my job to help you." Olivia grabbed a tissue from the night stand and dabbed his brow. "Just relax for a minute, okay? Catch your breath."

"You work 14-hour days as it is. You were up at 5am taking care of Thomas. By 8am, you had Alex at school. You then went to work until lunch, came back and helped me do my mid-day exercises and take care of Thomas. After working from home, making sure that Thomas and I have everything we need, you pick up Alex from school. You were somehow working long distance through all of this. You cooked dinner. You are running this family all by yourself. I can't even be a good husband to you."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I know what you were doing earlier. I can't even pleasure you."

"You are mad because I was masturbating?"

"No. I'm mad because I can't give you what you need."

"Fitz, stop talking like that."

"It is now 8pm. You should be relaxing with a glass of wine and preparing to do it all over again in the morning. Not… Helping me try to walk on my dead leg."

"You will only make things worse, if you don't do it right." Olivia stood up and put her hands under his armpits. "Come on, let's try this the right way."

"I can do this by myself." Fitz said. "Take a break."

"Stand." Olivia ignored him.

Fitz sighed, following her orders. He put his hands on her shoulders, using her to steady himself.

"Easy. You don't want to get light headed getting up." She took a step back, putting more distance between them. "Put your foot down. Try to walk."

Fitz cautiously put his foot down. He tried to walk but any attempt was futile and painful. He stumbled, but she caught him, guiding him back to the bed.

"That was good. You are getting better."

"I'm stagnant. I haven't made any progress in a week."

"Last week you couldn't even put any pressure on it. You are making progress." Olivia kissed his forehead. "You just have to be patient. And keep trying."

"I'm going downstairs for a glass of water." He reached for his crutch.

"I can go get it for you."

"I've got it." Fitz pushed her hand away, when she tried to help him up.

"Fitz—"

"I've got this." He said harsher than he meant. She pulled her hand back, like he was a hot stove. He hobbled past her on his way to the stairs.

She was stunned at his hostility. He had outbursts of anger ever since he returned home, and she didn't know what to do except for let him have his way. One minute he was his usual self, joking and kind spirited. The next, he found himself frustrated at his state of being and was lashing out. She didn't know… She wasn't equipped to deal with him in those moments, so she just let him be. If this was a part of his healing process, then she would be there for him no matter what. After a couple of minutes, she went downstairs. He was sitting at the counter with a bottle of scotch.

"That isn't water."

"It will help me sleep."

She knew what he meant by that. Nightmares were a common occurrence. He woke up many times in the night sweating and confused, unable to communicate what he was feeling. Olivia sat next to him and took a sip from his glass. Not a full sip, but enough to wet her lips and feel the sting of the alcohol.

"You should go to bed." He said.

"Maybe this is my glass of wine."

"I'm sorry about earlier."

"I forgive you."

"I didn't mean to lash out."

"I know." Olivia frowned as he poured himself a second drink. "Maybe you should slow down. You still have to get up the stairs."

"Livvie… Can I just be alone for a minute?"

"Of course." Olivia kissed his temple, returning to the bedroom alone.

/

Olivia woke up to some disturbance. She was too tired to acknowledge it, until she realized what it was. It was Fitz, again. Moaning, groaning in his sleep. She knew it was a matter of seconds before he turned violent. She watched his face contort in distress as beads of sweat formed on his brow.

"Fitz…" She whispered, gently nudging his shoulder. He didn't wake, but she didn't want to startle him anymore. He started tossing, so she held his hands firmly so that he wouldn't hurt either of them. "Fitz, I need you to wake up. Please."

"No." He eyes flung open. He started at the ceiling out of breath.

"Fitz…" Olivia released his hands. She reluctantly wiped a sweat soaked curl from his forehead. "You are here. You are safe. Just… Relax."

Fitz nodded, the crazy look from his eyes slowly faded. Olivia sat up and handed him a glass of water. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Olivia looked at the clock. It was 3:12am. She had to be up in two hours. "It is okay."

Fitz set the glass on the night stand and laid down again. Olivia followed, propping her head on her elbow and watching him stare at the ceiling. It was clear that he wasn't ready to go to sleep again.

"Fitz, I think you should consider therapy."

"Therapy?"

"To work through this. These nightmares… Aren't normal."

"I can sleep on the couch until they pass."

"And what if they don't?" Olivia leaned back against her pillows. "If you were your own patient, you know that you would recommend a therapist."

"Talking to a therapist means going through all of it again. With a stranger."

"Then talk to me." Olivia said. She scooted closer to him in the bed. She couldn't rest her head on his chest like she always did because it caused more breathing difficulties for him, so she just rested her leg along his. "I can be a very good listener."

"I have nothing to talk about, I mean… I can't talk about something I can't remember."

"Why don't you start with the nightmare?"

Fitz sighed heavily. "They never make sense."

"Well, what do you remember from them?"

"Never anything concrete. Just… panic. Just my heart beating out of my chest and a sense that I can't get to you." His chest tightened with a harsh breath.

"Woah." Olivia reacted to his body tensing. She brought her hand to his cheek. "Everything is okay. You are here with me. I'm okay. The kids are okay."

"I know."

"Just… Relax. Take deep breaths. What else do you remember?"

"I… that is all I remember."

"Okay, then." Olivia lightly rested her hand on his chest. "That is all you have to say then."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Olivia said. She hated the thought of him getting frustrated over things he couldn't help. "Just try to go back to sleep. I'm here if you need me."

/

This just in. August Alsino, the exiled film producer and director who was outed for raping then-minor Jasmine Jovardi, has finally been spotted. Alsino went off the grid after Jovardi came forward with the abuse. Today, he was spotted at a luxury resort in Curaçao. The property is owned by none other than businessman Robert Francisco, another of the accused abusers in Jovardi's book.

"It must be nice to run away from your problems to a tropical island." Olivia mumbled, working on a press release on her laptop. She was sitting on the couch with her feet tucked under herself.

Alsino's wife has remained that she doesn't know where he is. When confronted by reporters, she claimed that they are officially separated, and she is in no hurry to ever see his face again. Alsino's production company 'Desert Pictures' has fired him on the basis of a morality clause in his contract. His brother, Aaron has taken over as CEO.

"I'm sorry, this is obnoxious." Olivia flipped the channel, but the next news channel was the same story. She turned the TV off, returning back to the document on her computer. "What's got you so quiet over there?"

"Just some work things."

"You aren't supposed to be working." Olivia reminded.

"I know. It's just that Boorstein has no idea what he is doing." Fitz sighed. "Why would they assign someone who has never practiced as an OB-GYN run the department?"

"You just have to let him be the interim, until you can return to work."

"He's implementing policies that I never approved. He's literally running the department into the ground, and nobody is realizing it."

"Baby, there's nothing you can do about it. It is out of your control."

"Well, the administration loves him. I wouldn't be surprised if they offer him my job permanently."

"They aren't going to do that." Olivia chuckled, shutting her laptop and setting it on the coffee table.

"You don't know that."

"I do." Olivia scooted closer so that she was sitting next to him. She put her hand on his. "A hero who risked his life saving his patients being fired for risking his life is a powder keg of lawsuits and bad press. They wouldn't take a match anywhere near that."

"The shooting was over two months ago. He's practically put pictures of his family up in my office."

"So what? He'll just have to take them back down when you return."

"I need to go in. Just to show my face. Let people know that I'm not gone for good."

"No. That wouldn't help anything." Olivia sighed. "Stop worrying. Your job is safe. Remember the last time they tried to fire you?"

She expected a smile or chuckle from him. The last time his job was at risk, he came to Olivia Pope & Associates for help. It was the first time they reunited after Alex's birth. But he didn't smile. He kept staring at the documents on his computer.

"I'm going to bed. It is late." She kissed his temple. "Come join me?"

"I'm going to stay down here for a bit. I still have some work to do."

/

Olivia might have felt a little guilty for staying in the office so late. It was rare that she stayed past lunch with Fitz's injury, so being there after dark was especially rare. However, she had an excuse. Abbey announced her resignation earlier that day. She was coming by to discuss returning to OPA. Olivia knew that she wasn't completely sold on the idea, so she had a plan of seducing her.

"Hey, stranger." Abbey peeped her head in Olivia's office.

"Hey. Come in." Olivia motioned for her to have a seat on the couch. She pulled a bottle of wine out of her drawer.

"That is cruel." Abbey rested her hand on her gradual bump. It wasn't noticeable, until her hand flattened the loose fabric of her shirt against it.

"It is for you." She flashed her the label. Sparkling grape juice. "It got me through both of my pregnancies. I found a winery based in North Carolina that pays just as much attention to the complexities of the grapes as normal wineries. It isn't '94 DuBellay, but it helped me with my wine withdrawal."

"Might as well pretend." Abbey accepted a glass.

"You are showing." Olivia grinned, pouring herself a regular glass of wine.

"I am." Abbey agreed. "Shit, Liv, this is good."

"I pretty much keep it on tap here. I've got a few bottles left over from breast feeding Thomas, but I could order more cases if a certain pregnant someone returned home."

"Here we go."

"I watched your resignation. It was good. You were professional and graceful. The press around it has been positive, but you already know that."

"I had to turn over my access badge today. That was fun." She said sarcastically.

"After I turned down the White House to start OPA, I had to do the same. But I learned that passes mean nothing. Either of us could walk onto that property and have someone vouch for us in a heartbeat."

"Well, I'm officially unemployed." Abbey held her glass up with a cheeky grin.

"Cheers." Olivia clinked her glass.

"What trouble is OPA meddling in today?"

"Hmmm. Nice try. Confidential."

"That bad? Blink twice if it's a closeted Republican governor with a gay sex tape."

"You could know, if you came back. Your office is still just like you left it."

"That's a lie. I peeped it when I came in. Someone stole my stapler."

"It was Quinn. Hers broke." Olivia laughed. "Come on… Don't make me beg."

"Oh, I already decided months ago." Abbey smirked. "I'm coming back, I just wanted to see how desperate you would get. The pregnant wine is a nice touch."

"I'm about to take back my offer, just because you said that."

"Did you really think I would go somewhere else? Teach Political Science 234 to the hungover masses of silver spoon eighteen-year olds? Slide into any K Street lobbying firm to get paid six figures to get groped by some slick millionaire? Once a gladiator, always a gladiator."

"So it will be just like old times." Olivia grinned.

"Well, not just like it." She patted her stomach. "But pretty close."

They worked out the details of Abbey's return. They had to draft a contract, although neither needed to sign it. It was more to outline her role returning. Olivia had to be conscious of how being the press secretary changed Abbey. Abbey never had a problem with disobeying Olivia or challenging her in the past. The transition from being at the axis of power to a gladiator had to be careful. Once their details were sorted, their conversation dissolved into more personal, as they caught up with each other. Olivia was pacing her wine to Abbey's of grape juice, which left her a little buzzed.

"Shouldn't you be getting home?" Abbey asked. "I mean, I don't want to keep you here to catch up if you have to get home to your family."

"No, it's fine. I'm not in a rush." Olivia said, trying to hide her hesitation to go home to face Fitz.

"How are you really?" Abbey asked.

"I'm fine."

"Liv…"

"What?"

"You almost lost your husband… Again."

"But I didn't." Olivia found the social comfort of raising her glass to her lips. "Everything is okay."

"When I dropped off that casserole the other day, Fitz didn't sound like everything was okay."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing." Abbey eyed her critically. "But he didn't sound like his normal self…"

"He is still recovering."

"Is everything okay? I mean, it has been months."

"We are just in a weird space."

"Because of the shooting?"

"He's… Different. I mean, I expected some type of change after the shooting, but I didn't expect this. It is like, one minute, he is the man I married. Then the next, he gets caught up in his head about the shooting. Not even the shooting – he gets his mind fucked over these things that he can't help. He makes problems out of things that aren't even an issue. I thought that giving him space… Giving him the freedom to work through these things was the right thing to do, but it hasn't stopped." The buzz from the wine, made her spill out everything that had been pent up in her the past few months. "I don't know what else to do. I try everything to be a good wife, but it isn't working. We just keep drifting, and when I try to pull us back together, I just make it worse."

"Maybe it isn't you."

"What?"

"At some point, you guys have to move on. You can't keep living in the shadow of what happened that day. You need to move on."

"That is what I want to do. But I don't know how to get him there."

"Look…" Abbey paused to try to find her words. "Can I tell you how I see it?"

"I've never been able to stop you before."

"Boss up. Make him do the same. You guys love each other – honestly – on a level that makes most soap operas look dull. Quit pussyfooting around each other. Give him no option but to get over it. Quit babying him."

"But what if I can't? Make him get over it?"

"You are Olivia Pope. Don't forget that."

"It is late." Olivia checked her phone. It was only 9pm, but she imagined that Abbey was exhausted. Alex was probably still waiting up for her, despite being tucked in. "Plus you start your new job tomorrow."

"Goodnight Liv. It feels good to be home."

/

"What are you working on?" Olivia asked when she saw Fitz's glass of scotch. He was sitting at the kitchen table with some work documents. She could tell immediately that he was in one of his moods.

"Just, uh… Trying to get this proposal put together so I can get it to the hospital. Boorstein is going to reject it, but I figured maybe I can outweigh him."

"I thought we agreed that you would step back from the hospital."

"Sure." He didn't look up. He was barely acknowledging her.

"So why are you working on this?" She felt like she was talking to Alex when she knew that she was wrong, but didn't want to talk about it.

"Because you decided that I was taking a step back." He looked up at her harshly. "Not me."

"Can we talk about therapy." Olivia asked quietly. She took a seat across from him.

"Yes, we can, but the answer is still no." Fitz dismissed.

"Fitz, you need to be talking to someone."

"I am fine."

"Well, I'm not." Her sharp words made him finally set his work down. Her voice cracked into a whisper. "I can't do this anymore."

"I'm sorry." Fitz softened, setting his work to the side. "I know that you have been making a lot of sacrifices, and as soon as I get back on my feet—"

"I am not talking about that. I am fine with putting in overtime, really. What I can't take is you not being present. You drinking. You having mood swings. This paranoia around your job. You not being able to sleep for more than 3 hours without waking up from a nightmare, then refusing to get help for it."

"Liv, you weren't the one that was shot."

"No shit." Olivia sighed, collecting herself before she got too angry. She stood up and walked over to the fridge, pouring herself a glass of water. It bought her some time to collect her thoughts. "Which is why I am so frustrated. I hate that this happened to you, I really do. If I could reach into your brain and figure out why you are acting out the way you are – what demons you can't quite beat – then I would. But I can't. So you need to boss up and do something. At least do it for me."

"Boss up?" Fitz scoffed, reaching for the bottle of scotch.

Olivia took the bottle sliding it out of his reach. "I'm not asking."

Fitz let out a long sigh, staring at his glass, swirling the little bit of liquor left. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"I'll see a therapist." He said, downing the rest of his glass.

/

TWO MONTHS LATER

"Good morning." Olivia said, coming into the conference room. "Let's put the court preparation on a backburner for now. We have new incoming."

"Thank god." Marcus said. "What? There is only so much you can prepare for when the plaintiff won't even show up to court. It's boring. I can't be the only one bored with this?"

"I'm bored." Huck admitted. There was minimal tech work to be done, so he had pretty much been twiddling his thumbs recently.

"Work here is never boring." Olivia defended, feigning mock insult. "Not when the daughter of Greece's president is caught on Instagram Live drunk peeing in an alleyway." She slid her laptop over to Huck to connect to the TV. The video was on the big screen within seconds.

"I saw that on Twitter this morning." Marcus chuckled. "Disgusting."

"Oh, so guys can whip it out in any alleyway, but girls can't?" Abbey challenged.

"Touché."

"The video is everywhere already. They are not so concerned about keeping it under wraps, since in this age of technology, that would be useless. They are more worried about how it reflects back on the President. He is preparing to ask for American military support in protecting the oil found in their Mediterranean archipelagos. Obviously, the Greek head of state is devoting his full resources to handling this. He wants us to handle American press."

"To spin it so that he doesn't look like a leader that can't control his own family."

"Exactly. Abbey, I want profiles. Huck, try and stop the sharing of the video on other social media platforms. Quinn, find every person present at the recording of the video, and make sure they don't reach out to TMZ. Marcus, work your contacts at the state department to gauge how they are taking this."

"I'll make a second coffee refill round. Who is in?" Quinn said. Huck and Marcus raised their hands.

"One cup a day. Doctor's orders." Abbey patted her baby bump.

"I can't stay for long. I have an appointment. I'll be back in two hours. I want results by then. Once we get a good read on how the media is consuming this, we can strategize."

"Wait… Where are you going?" Quinn asked.

"To get away from your nosey ass." Abbey quipped. Olivia was grateful for Abbey's quick interference. Abbey knew that Fitz was going to therapy. It had been three months since he started skyping with a therapist. Today, they were actually going to her office. The psychiatrist wanted to talk to both Fitz and Olivia, as a milestone in his therapy.

"I'll be back in two hours." Olivia repeated. She drove back home to pick up Fitz. A neighbor agreed to watch Thomas, so that he wouldn't be a problem during the meeting.

Fitz's therapist's office was well a hike down the interstate into Virginia, but traffic was light. Once they got to the office, Olivia admitted only to herself that she was nervous. She had no idea what he had been going through in therapy. She didn't even know anything about this therapist. Fitz found her. They began with three skype sessions a week. It progressed to frequent calls. Olivia would come home sometimes to Fitz on the phone with her. She respected his privacy enough to never eavesdrop, but she was always curious about what they were talking about. Whatever did go down in those sessions, it seemed to work. All she knew was that Fitz's nightmares were less frequent, and when it seemed like he was lapsing into his bad ways, he would take out a journal and write in it. He also had not picked up a glass of scotch since their fight a month ago.

Sitting in the waiting room, she didn't realize that she was shaking her ankle, until Fitz reached over to stop it, calmly placing his palm on her foot.

"Relax." He whispered. "You are going to love Amaya."

"You call her by her first name?"

"She doesn't call me Dr. Grant." He shrugged. "I'm excited for you to meet her." He squeezed Olivia's hand.

Soon enough, they were let into her office. "Fitz, it is a pleasure to finally meet in person." Dr. Amaya Peiman extended her hand to him, and then Olivia. "And you must be Olivia."

"The pleasure is all mine." Olivia shook her hand firmly, taking in her appearance. She was gorgeous. Older than Olivia, but she had long, silky black hair and eyes that were both warm and exciting. "Dr.—"

"Amaya. Just Amaya. I find that titles create a power imbalance between my patients and me. We are all equals on this earth. No piece of paper and a six-figure student loan can change that."

"It's a pretty piece of paper you have on the wall there." Olivia nodded towards her diplomas framed on the wall. Harvard Medical School.

"I actually chose Amaya because of that." Fitz said as he hobbled on his crutch over to the couch. "A colleague studied with her to become a pediatrician."

"What made you switch to therapy?" Olivia asked, honestly. There was another degree from Yale in psychology.

"I got tired of seeing all of the blood. Plus, I find issues of the mind way more fascinating than issues of the body." Olivia joined Fitz on the couch as Amaya sat across from them. Fitz could feel how tense Olivia was, so he subtly rested his hand on the small of her back.

"Let's begin. This session will go a little different than usual. I feel that your progress has been monumental, and now you are ready to vocalize some of what we have worked on with your wife. While you owe nobody anything, a certain relief can be found in feeling heard and understood."

"Okay." Fitz nodded. Olivia noticed how relaxed he was in Amaya's presence. It was like she had a calming effect on him.

"Most of our sessions have revolved around trying to unearth the truth around his traumatic experience and find connections with his current actions. Fitz, I want you to communicate to Olivia what we have worked on. Start from the beginning. Talk about what happened the day of the shooting."

Fitz cleared his throat, shifting to face Olivia. His eyes were clear and readable. "You remember how I told you about the mother I was visiting—"

"I won't interrupt this any further, but remember how we worked on not assuming?" Amaya interjected. "Speak clearly and leave nothing up to memory."

"Right, uh… So the day of the attack, I was visiting a new mother. She reminded me of you, only because of her circumstance. She was hit by a car running a red light – nine months pregnant. The father was not in the picture. I wanted to check up on her because I remember how difficult it was when you had Alex. I was barely there for five minutes when I heard the gun shots. I don't know how I knew exactly what they were, but I knew that I had my key card which locks any door on the hall. So I locked her in there, and told her to sit along the wall. I went from room to room, locking the doors. The gun shots never stopped, but I didn't think they were on my floor. They sounded so far away, almost like the gunshots were on a different plane. The next thing I know, I felt pain. It felt like hot shards of glass were being driven into my leg. It was so intense, I wasn't even sure if it was pain. I felt in shock. I stumbled, but the pain didn't stop. Then it was in my chest. Then I felt the floor against my face." Fitz paused, taking a moment to collect himself.

Olivia didn't realize there were tears running down her cheek, until Amaya extended a Kleenex. The expression on his face made it seem like he was going through that exact pain again. She squeezed his hand tightly in hers to encourage him.

"I remember waking up and knowing something was wrong. I knew I wasn't dead, but I knew something was different. I knew that whatever happened, I had failed you. In the moment, I couldn't cognitively connect the shooting to what I was going through, but I knew that whatever happened – I wouldn't be myself. Does that make sense? I was now the problem. I immediately thought about you. If I left you, or wasn't the same, you would have to start over. You would be left with two kids and I wouldn't be able to help you, to provide for you. I couldn't stand to leave you. You, Alex, and Thomas deserve the best, and I couldn't bear to think of your lives being negatively impacted, because I wouldn't be able to be there."

"Fitz…" Olivia whispered.

"You have been… Incredible through all of this. You are strong for Alex and Thomas. You have cared for me in ways I could have never imagined. You spend eighteen hours a day selflessly living for others, whether it is me, the kids, or your clients at OPA. Even in your sleep, I am still a problem with my nightmares. I hate feeling like a problem. My inability to cope with my disability led me to become hostile, even though I am mad at myself. I felt that if I was just harsh enough in my words or actions, you would leave me alone. If I poured myself an extra glass of scotch, even though I saw how much it hurt you, then you would see me for the problem I am. That you would realize that I am not worth fighting for or any of the stress I have put you through. I was selfish, and I was only thinking about myself. I lost hope in ever returning to our normal, and I let that manifest itself in damaging actions. I am sorry."

"Don't apologize for anything." Olivia dabbed her eye, although she was sure that her makeup was already ruined.

Fitz pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. Sher recognized it as the same stationary from the journal he had been keeping. "One of the things that Amaya has helped me work on, is Written Narrative Exposure. I've never been one to write down my feelings, so it was strange. Whenever I feel these feelings of worthlessness and inconvenience, I write. However, all of my writings turned into letters. Some were to Alex and Thomas. Some to Karen and Jerry. Even a few to Mellie or colleagues at James Madison. But most of them were to you. I, uh, want to read one to you."

Olivia felt incredibly self-conscious, but she knew it was important for Fitz to say what he needed to say. She just wished that his therapist was not five feet away, watching intently. She felt naked and exposed, but she nodded for him to continue.

Dear Livvie.

I see you. I see you when you don't even think that I see you. I see the inward moan of exhaustion when it is 5am and Thomas is crying for you… again. I see the fear in your eyes, even in complete darkness, when I wake up in a sweat, convulsing. I see you rub the arches of your feet when you come home and kick off your heels. I see the cracks in your face when Alex needs something. I see the tension in your shoulders when you are working on a case, but then have to help me do something simple like carrying something up the stairs.

But then I see the you that you think I see. I see you getting out of bed, an hour before your alarm to go feed Thomas and rock him back to sleep to your hums of "O-o-h Child." I see you comforting me back from my night terrors, running your hands through my hair and whispering that everything is okay. I see you starting dinner the second you come home, even though your feet are on fire. I see you remaining positive and interacting with Alex in a way that makes her heart soar and dreams become more vivid. I see the way you have dropped everything to make sure I am recovering and healing.

I see your vulnerability and the way you power through it. I want you to be vulnerable. I want you to be able to breathe. I want you to know that even wonder woman cries sometimes. Yet, allowing you that would mean that somebody can pick up the pieces. I don't know if I can do that. I am not strong enough to let you be human. The only superpower I have for you is my love.

But love can't change diapers or fix dinner. Love is just love.

Fitz folded the paper back up, returning it to his pocket. There was nothing but silence. Olivia couldn't speak, and even if her voice could miraculously make noise, she had no words. She held his hand tightly, not breaking eye contact. Then she remembered where they were. She cleared her throat, attempting again to salvage her makeup from her emotions.

"Olivia," Amaya began. "How about you tell Fitz how that made you feel."

"I…" Olivia glanced awkwardly at Amaya. "I'm not comfortable…"

"How about I give you some privacy." Amaya nodded, understanding her hesitancy to speak with a third party in the room. It was a struggle from the start for Amaya to feel comfortable opening up to her, so she understood Olivia's hesitancy. She left the office to them.

"Your love is enough." Was all she could get out. He pulled her tightly against himself in a hug. She buried her face into his neck. "I have only been so strong because you love me." She whispered. "Do you think that I would have been able to do any of this without your love? Without knowing that you would do the same for me if the roles were reversed?"

"I love you, Olivia Pope-Grant." He mumbled against her hair. They made no move to leave their embrace, as it felt good just to hug it out. All of their frustrations and emotions were now out in the open. The feeling of his arms wrapped around her after hearing him tear out his heart like that made Olivia realize what a man he was.

After a moment, Olivia pulled back, wiping her tears. She offered Fitz a tissue, who was also freely crying, and went to retrieve Amaya. Amaya noticed the clear shift in the dynamic between them. The session wrapped shortly after a short debrief. Once back on the interstate, the car was comfortably silent. Olivia kept her hand clasped in Fitz's the entire ride home. Once they got back to their townhome, Olivia helped Fitz get back inside. She went upstairs briefly to refresh her makeup before going back to the office. Halfway through trying to hide the puffiness around her eyes, Fitz surprised her in the mirror behind her.

"Thank you for going with me today. I know how nervous you were."

"Thank you for everything. For going to therapy. For opening up like that." Olivia smiled softly. "I have to go back into work. We opened up a new case this morning."

"Go kick some ass."

"I have to ask…" Olivia said. "What made your sessions with Amaya so helpful?" She couldn't help the pang of jealousy she felt. She was no trained therapist, but she was unable to fix Fitz like this stranger was. Even though therapy was her idea, she still felt uncomfortable with Fitz sharing what he shared with her today with someone else. There were countless other letters that she would never read, but Amaya did. It didn't help that Amaya was gorgeous.

"It was nice to talk to a stranger. I didn't owe her anything. She saw through me, because I could be completely honest."

"You can always be honest with me, Fitz. You know that."

"I know. But sometimes you can't help the truth you reveal. Whatever I tell you, I am conscious of your feelings. I never want to hurt you, which means that I automatically filter myself around you. It isn't that I can't be honest, it is that sometimes my love for you makes it difficult to take a step back. I could do that with her."

"It doesn't help that she's hot, either, does it?" Olivia asked, not as an accusation, but an observation.

"She's attractive." Fitz shrugged, closing the space between them. He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder and looking at her in the mirror. "But have you looked in the mirror, lately? Or… Ever?"

/

ONE WEEK LATER

"How was court? Fitz asked, when Olivia came through the door. She was dressed sharper than usual, her tailored suit cutting along her defined silhouette.

"It didn't happen. Our court date got postponed. The plaintiff is still MIA. Well, MIA being whatever billionaire buddy is housing him in the Caribbean or French Riviera." Olivia joined Fitz, Alex, and Thomas on the floor, along with every single one of Alex's stuffed animals and dolls.

"That is great, right? Or bad…?"

"It's very promising. We are hoping that the judge just dismisses it if he doesn't show up. Either way, he has a flimsy case." She pecked him on the lips. "What are we doing here?"

"Welcome to my classroom." Alex said sternly.

"We are playing school." Fitz whispered into Olivia's ear.

"Alex, what are you teaching—"

"Silence!" Alex demanded in her best authoritarian voice. "You have to raise your hand."

Olivia tried not to laugh at the seriousness of her daughter. She raised her hand in compliance and waited until she was called on. "What are you teaching us?"

"I'm teaching you about American Presidents." She grinned, picking up a large picture book from her stack. "This is James Monroe…"

"How long has this been going on?" Olivia whispered as Alex rattled along the list of presidents and their fun facts from her book. She casually leaned back into Fitz so that their teacher would not catch their dialogue. She also pulled Thomas into her lap, who was curiously grabbing at Alex's stuffed animals.

"The entire afternoon." Fitz chuckled, running his hand along her back.

"No talking." Alex reprimanded. "Or else you will get detention."

"Sorry, Professor Alex." Olivia said with all seriousness.

"No touching other students, either." Alex demanded, forcing Olivia to scoot a foot away from each other in compliance with their daughter's imaginary authority.

After entertaining Alex's play school for a while, Olivia raised her hand to be excused to start dinner. She thoroughly enjoyed watching from a distance as Alex gave Fitz pop quizzes, which he intentionally failed to make her teach him more. She finally rescued him once dinner was ready, forcing Alex to clean up her mess and wash up.

"How was your session today?" Olivia helped him into his chair and finished setting the table.

"Amaya and I have come to the conclusion that we can scale back the sessions to once a week." Fitz said, brushing his hand nonchalantly against her thigh as she fastened Thomas into his high chair.

"Is that why you are in such a good mood?" Olivia laughed at his not so subtle touch.

"I've just missed you all day." He trailed his hand to her wrist, pulling her back to him.

"Mmhmm." Olivia didn't protest as he pulled her onto his lap. "What will you do once you go back to work?"

"Have I told you how sexy you look in your work clothes?" Fitz unbuttoned her blazer, working off two of the buttons from her conservative neckline.

"And that is why you can't have nice things." Olivia removed herself from his lap, going back to serving their plates. "Anything else exciting happen today?"

"Thomas is getting better about walking. He made it from the coffee table to the stairs today. Alex taught me that Calvin Coolidge owned a racoon."

"Plus a bear, antelope, and wallaby, but they were kept in a zoo… I worked as a tour guide in high school, remember?"

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Fitz winked.

After dinner, they fell into their nightly routine. Olivia got Alex bathed and tucked into bed with a bedtime story. Fitz offered to take his shower in the morning, so Olivia started the long process of removing her makeup and brushing her teeth before bed.

"Babe, we still have to do my physical therapy tonight."

"I haven't forgot." Olivia called back. In the last week or so, it seemed like he was declining progress with his leg. He was struggling to put weight on it, let alone use it to walk.

"Could you come here for a sec?"

"In a minute." Olivia responded past the toothbrush in her mouth.

"No, now."

"Hold on." Olivia wondered why he was being so demanding. It was almost like he was trying to return to his pre-therapy, moody self. Even with the setbacks with his leg, he had remained surprisingly positive through it. She didn't want to see him fall back.

"Then I guess I'll have to come to you." Fitz was suddenly in the mirror behind her, on two feet, with no support from anything.

"You… You are walking."

"I am." Fitz smirked. He walked back to the bathroom door with only a slight limp, locking it. "Someone told me to boss up, so I did."

"Fitz…" Olivia was in shock. "How long have you been able to—"

"Five days. The hospital knows that I will be returning on Monday." Fitz said, approaching her from behind. He let his hands wander shamelessly along her hips, waist, stomach… He was being so intentional that it was as if her silk night gown wasn't even there.

"And why didn't you—"

"Say anything? Because I like the element of surprise." His mouth was hot by her ear as he kissed her earlobe. "And because I wanted to wait until after you won the lawsuit to do this, but now I don't know if I can wait any longer."

"I was wondering how the dishes were unloaded and the—Fitz…" Olivia realized what he was doing. His hands were softly groping her sides. She put her hands on his, easing them off of her body. "Are you sure that—"

"My breath capacity is up to 90%. I am walking, albeit with a cane. I'm about to be employed again. Now, you could ask me more questions or remind me that doctors are the worst patients, or anything else that would distract me from doing this…" He kissed along her shoulder, making a trail down her arm. "Or, this." He took her wrist gently on his hand and raised it above her head. She watched them in the mirror as he kissed along her shoulder. Any inch of hers that she offered, he devoured. His spread fingertips brushed her nightgown up her torso until it was bunched at her breasts. Open mouthed kisses were generous along her neck which conveniently seemed to be weak under his attention.

"Fitz…"

"Don't." He turned her around and backed her up against the counter. He was down on his knees with his fingers hooked on her underwear. His lips were barely grazing the lace as he looked back up at her. She was holding her nightgown at her stomach, and there was a look of uncertainty and concern on her face. "If you want me to stop, I will stop."

Olivia pulled her nightgown over her head and let it slide from her fingertips to the floor. She ran a hand through his hair, leaning his head back so that he was facing her. "If you feel shortness of breath, stop."

Fitz stood, pressing her naked body against his. He leaned in like he was going to kiss her, but his lips never met hers. "Livvie, every second with you leaves me breathless." Then he kissed her, slowly and deliberately. Olivia was trying to be patient. She knew that she had to be careful with him – she didn't want to hurt him. But the length of time she had gone without his touch and the way he was kissing her was making it incredibly difficult.

He was dropped back to his knees, kissing along her stomach – along the faint scar from where she had Alex – when he pulled her underwear down. She put her leg over his shoulder, subtly pushing him further down. Her pussy was wet, and ready for him. It was time to work his superpowers.

"I've missed you." He breathed, as he pressed his tongue between her folds. Her knee almost buckled at the touch, so she braced her hands against the edge of the counter.

"Same." She gasped, as he began to methodically kiss, nibble, and lick around her sensitive parts. He was teasing her mercilessly, giving her what she needed, then pulling back. She was so desperate for him to give her the release she had dreamed about for months. Her hand found his curls, tugging them and guiding him to a rhythm.

He relished the signs of her nearing orgasm. The way her toes clenched. The way her voice got raspy, and her breath became unstable. Her hand only left his hair to cover her mouth when the inevitable moans of pleasure took over her better judgment.

Fitz accomplished his mission, licking her up as she came. He rose to her level. He still needed some support, so he put his hands on each side of her on the counter.

"How are you feeling?" He kissed her nose.

"I should be asking you that." She poured a glass of water from the sink and offered it to him. "How are you?"

"I am realistic about my ability to carry you to bed, but I am nowhere near to being done with you."

"I can compromise." Olivia lead him to the bed. She pulled back the covers and looked back at him. "Get naked and get in."

"The days of you babying me are over." Fitz said, even though he pulled his t shirt over his head and sat on the edge.

"I can guarantee you…" Olivia climbed in after he shed his pants, straddling his waist. "That what I am about to do to you is not babying." She took his bottom lip between her teeth, making him moan. The graze of her breasts against his chest and his hands firmly grasping her ass were giving them the sexual gratification that was eating them alive for the past months.

Fitz could feel her wetness against his stomach. He firmly gripped her hips, sliding her core down his crotch. She was kissing him like she had been too afraid to the past months. While it was incredibly sexy and arousing, they were past the need for foreplay. She sat up, bunching the covers at her waist. Their eyes locked, each consenting to what was about to happen.

She slowly slid down on his dick, gasping with how amazing it felt. At first, she was slow. Her hips descending as far as they could, then rotating in a pattern and repeating. She was testing him, careful not to overdo it for either of them. The more he took, the more she gave. She increased the pace, until her breasts were bouncing with the motion. It was all almost too much tor him to take. He sat up, not stopping her rhythm. His mouth placed sloppy, open mouthed kisses on her neck, tasting the saltiness from her sweat.

He was close, but stubborn enough to make sure she got her second release before he came. He roughly grabbed one of her breasts, guiding her nipple to his mouth to suck on. She arched her back, throwing her head back in pleasure. She wanted to communicate how great he was making her feel, but all she could get out was broken curses. He guided her hips down on his cock harder and faster until she trembled with that familiar fire in her belly. There was nothing more beautiful than watching the love of his life orgasm while riding him. She was past words or even sounds as her eyes shut and her lips parted. Her breath was as ragged as her trembling thighs as he pumped into her through her climax.

He gripped her thighs, tighter, bucking his hips upwards until he too was succumbing to the waves of pleasure. He fell back against the bed in deep exhaustion. She stayed in position, incredibly still, except for her heaving chest. She finally pulled herself off of him, nestling into his side.

"Fuck." Olivia whispered, stills struggling to find words. Neither made a move to pull the covers up, as they laid there, exposed from the waist up, catching their breath. "Are you okay?" Olivia asked after a moment, looking over at him.

"Yeah." He patted her thigh. "How about you?"

"Don't ever get shot again." Olivia entangled her legs in his. "Because as great as that sex was, I can't go another four months without it."

"Unless I knock you up again." He winked.

"Not funny."

"Can we have that conversation?" His hand roamed along her back.

"Sure, let's have the kids conversation." Olivia propped herself up on her elbow.

"Do you want more kids?" Fitz asked cautiously.

"No."

"Okay, then. No more kids." Fitz chuckled, leaning over to kiss her nose. "I'm pretty damn satisfied with what I've got right now."

"No complaints here, either."

After a moment of silence, Fitz spoke up. "But what about a dog?"


Uh, so, yeah. That is the fanfic. The epilogue will be posted in the next few days, just because I want a chapter where I can deal with an angsty teenage Alex, haha.

Not to keep regurgitating Thank Yous, but thank you, again for everything. Y'all could have spent your time reading Great Expectations or Moby Dick (which have lower word counts), but y'all chose to read this. I am humbled and grateful for the relationships I have formed on this website.

Use the review space to tell me what you liked or didn't like about this story. Even though this is my last fic, any criticism is surely welcomed.