Hello everyone. This is a very long chapter and really continues to bring up the obstacles I think would be in the way Reno and Tifa becoming a couple. After finally getting this chapter to a place I like, I am already getting excited on what is to come due to what happens in this chapter. Please let me know what you think because for where I want to go with the story, I need this chapter to be powerful and if it is lacking please let me know. Thanks for continuing to read this story and I will see you next chapter.
Disclaimer: Square Enix owns all things Final Fantasy.
Tifa opened the door of the suite, sad but resolved and looking forward to concentrating on something other than her past and her feelings. But of course it couldn't be that simple as Tifa watched Reno coming out of the bathroom with no shirt. She saw the steam follow him out so she knew he had just taken a shower and was halfway dressed but he had missed a few spots and the few droplets were running down his chest. Tifa took a few moments to observe. Reno really was beautiful, you could never know how cut he was since he appeared so thin under his uniform, but there was not an inch of body fat on the man...he probably is a scientific anomaly because after seeing the way he drinks, smokes, and eats he should have at least a small pudge. But there he was in all his finely toned glory with a few mementos of battles on both his chest and his back, but it only enhanced her attraction to him...Shiva help her.
Reno finally must have felt the eyes on him from the corner of his eye because he finally turned and faced her. Tifa immediately looked down, half ashamed to be staring so boldly and half ashamed for never having the guts to try and show how much she wanted him. And now it was too late.
For Reno's part he was distracted himself, he had cooled off slightly to a point of just feeling bitter now. As he looked at Tifa in her wet bathing suit, how it clung to every curve of her body, how part of her hair clung to her shoulders... he realized at that moment he could never just be friends with her. He could try but at some point he would either just become to curious (knowing what a phenomenal kisser she was already) or be too drunk one night and all his attempts to be a gentleman would go out the window. She was so incredibly beautiful and sexy...being her friend would not be enough, he wanted all of her or nothing at all.
Both of them were becoming more bitter every moment due to their own inner struggles and the tension in the room was horrible. It was the perfect storm for a knock out, drag out fight; or intense passionate lovemaking...preferably both.
Reno broke the uncomfortable silence first.
"How was your swim?"
Tifa couldn't quite figure out the look in his aqua eyes. Anger? Lust? Both? Or was she just projecting her thoughts and feelings onto him?
"Fine."
Reno continued to stare at her, it was unbearable.
"So you ready to tell me what's on your mind now?"
How do you tell someone, well after trying to figure out how to get you out of my life my thoughts lead to this moment after observing your body and now I am thinking how phenomenal it would be to being having hot passionate sex with you on the bed, on the floor, on the balcony, in the shower...
"I was wondering...how you got those two scars under your eyes."
Well it wasn't completely wrong, she had been looking at his eyes and she had wondered on many occasions how he decided to have those scars or tattoos, she wasn't sure which, put under his eyes. Plus hopefully it would help move her past her horrible ache for him.
Unfortunately for Tifa her weird behavior plus the obvious change the subject questions had been played out for Reno...and unknown to Tifa she had brought up a subject that was a sore spot for Reno in a normal mood, the way he was feeling now...well to say it simply Tifa asked the wrong question at the wrong time.
"It's none of your business and I would like you to start telling me what the hell is going on with you."
Tifa was taken completely aback by his cold and forceful response but, in one of her more foolish decisions, she allowed her curiosity get the better of her and so she pressed him on it again.
"None of my business? Looks like I hit a nerve, seems a weird thing to be coy about since you can't hide them...ever."
Reno's demeanor became very dark, similar to Cloud's all those days ago outside the church.
"And why the snark Miss Lockhart...what is it that happened to you today that made you act like a completely different person?"
Tifa flinched, it was obvious he wasn't going to be satisfied till he was told the truth but Tifa still wasn't prepared to tell him it.
"You are not getting out of this, I want to know why my question got you so upset."
"And I want to know why you are acting like a god damn ice queen!"
"Stop trying to deflect this back to me Reno, tell me why the two scars are so upsetting?"
"Oh don't fake this wanting another heart to heart bullshit, let's talk about what is really going on here; why you keep deflecting...it's because of having to pretend to be my girlfriend last night isn't it?"
Tifa stood silent for a moment realizing now where his thoughts about her behavior were coming from, and how could she be so stupid, he had no idea how she felt about it; she had never told him.
"See, your silence tells me what I already knew, you thought about it when it was just you and it was quiet and you remembered what happened last night and were disgusted with yourself for having to let someone like me touch you."
Tifa stood wide eyed at him, she had not been ready for him to jump to a conclusion like this, it was a foreign idea to her since her feeling were just the opposite.
"Come on Lockhart how many showers have you taken today? I bet at least two and now that the chlorine hasn't washed me away you are hoping the third time's a charm right?"
"Stop it, I told you I had a horrible day. I h-had a nightmare and then made some phone calls...yes I ended up taking two showers but it had nothing to do-"
Reno came at her now, not touching her but getting right into her face, instinctively she looks down and closes off. She has never seen him like this and she is a little frightened.
" Yeah you mentioned this horrible nightmare, something so awful that you couldn't talk about it. But you've slipped up Lockhart, if you didn't want to talk why did you make multiple phone calls? I get the Cloud phone call, I really do but you said phone calls....so another words you just wanted to talk and did...to someone other than me."
"Reno, please you don't understand wh-"
"Don't misunderstand, I don't expect you to be best pals with me, but when I am working with someone on a mission I need to know how the other person is doing both physically and mentally. You should know this!
"I do...I understand why you wanted to know what was wrong but it...I had so many emotions going through me I just couldn't tell you."
"So enlighten me, you are beside yourself with emotion but then find some inner strength to deal with Jenova's Hope stuff, call Cloud and send him on a one person mission. Then you have another heart to heart that just exhausts you to a point of silent self-reflection eh?"
"Shiva Reno, don't be such a smart ass, you don't understand-"
"Exactly why I am asking all these questions Lockhart! You keep telling me something I already know, which is that I don't understand what happened today, and as I continue to try to figure out what the hell is going on; all I get from you are more piles of bullshit."
Tifa could feel as her stomach started to contort and flutter. Too many emotions, too much has happened...and now Reno is furious with her.
"I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you everything...I just couldn't."
"Well excuse me when I say that answer isn't good enough. But hell I'll bite, let's leave that be for a moment...who else did you talk to today besides Cloud and myself?"
Tifa just continued to try to keep herself from getting sick, she was beginning to shake...she couldn't get herself composed enough to answer him.
"WHO ELSE DID YOU TALK TO!"
Both Reno's fists were clenched, his face was red but he made no physical move at her.
"After my dream and also talking to Cloud, I...I was worried about Marlene so I called Barret."
She had only spoken but the way Reno reacted it was like she had punched him in the stomach.
"Barret Wallace?..."
Reno walked away from her now looking completely dejected. As he headed for the mini bar counter to make himself a drink he spoke again, very softly.
"Yeah it is all clear now, he must have been thrilled to hear that you were working with me. What happened, somehow you got into the details of last night and he freaked right? Said he was appalled, that he didn't even know who you were?. That even a terror organization wasn't worth some trash like me touching you, even if it was fake?"
Tifa's eyes were burning and it made her vision a tad blurry, but she looked up at him. Once again he amazed her, though slightly off about what she had told Barret, the reaction was pretty much dead on. How can she explain?
"Yes, he was upset that we were working together, he said-"
"Oh I can figure out what he said. Thanks to him reality came crashing back right, maybe here in Costa Del Sol we could work together...maybe even be able to find a common ground, respect...but then he reminded you what I am, or at least how most of the rest of the world sees me and you were ashamed of having an understanding with me. Barret would never talk to you again if he thought that you had forgiven me and since you were willing to go off with just me, well forgiveness was around the corner."
Tifa just looked down, what could she say, even though she wasn't ashamed to know him, she had come to the resolution to not allow him into her life after this mission...so what could she really say?
"Poor Tifa Lockhart, my it must suck to have a friend like Barret, making you feel so dirty for trying to stop another evil from ruining the planet...that son of a bitch.
Tifa wasn't even sure why, but his teasing of Barret struck a nerve with her. I guess even when Barret and her were arguing, with everything they had been through together, Tifa just could not tolerate someone talking about Barret that way...even if it was Reno.
"Shut up Reno, it's hard for him; your the face that brings back memories of the plate falling."
" Don't you fucking tell me to shut up! I know...I understand his hate for me but he has no right to be so self righteous. Yeah his reason for killing so many was so much more fucking noble than my reason. That bastard, let me tell you something that is true Lockhart...he hates me not only for what I did...the true deep down force for the hate comes from the fact that when he sees me, he realizes he's no better than I am. Actually worse because I represent the same philosophy his fallen comrades had when they followed his orders.."
Tifa was infuriated now, how could Reno put Barret in the same sentence as President and Rufus Shinra.
"How dare you! Comparing him to Shinra? He values life and the planet..always has!"
Reno paused for a moment and then got almost a slight grin on his face, however his eyes were still raging and made the smile seem almost sadistic.
"He values life eh? Maybe you should rephrase that. Wallace decided he was righteous and only those suffering in the slums were worthy of the revolution and to be protected. Other lives were not really that important."
Tifa gasped...Avalanche had decided, just as Shinra did whose lives was more worthy. For Shinra those who suffered under the plate in the slums was a necessary evil to keep everyone above happy and Avalanche had decided casualties at the bomb sites were a necessary evil to destroy Shinra and save the people of the slums. Yes they cared about the planet...but somewhere along the way it became about Shinra, destroying that company. They hadn't discussed alternate sources of energy back then...it had been about getting even and making them suffer as they had. Her thoughts were confirmed as Reno went on.
Barret wanted revenge because of his town and his wife...Shinra was corrupt with greed and they cost too many people their lives...but you don't think those who worked for Shinra had hopes and dreams and families? Many saw Shinra as something helpful, for some a godsend. Many people got jobs that had none before..they could go to school or go high up in the corporation. Hell I am one of them yo! Shinra, the Turks...they were my cause...my life." Reno paused to drink his newly poured glass of whisky.
"So just as you and your fellow Avalanche members followed Barret into battle; following his leadership, I did the same with Shinra and the Turks. And what about those Shinra soldiers, they deserved to die because they were on the wrong side? All they were doing was their job."
As Tifa continued to stand their in silence Reno stared at his glass, he seemed far away now and the bitterness was oozing out of his voice.
"Who gets to choose whose lives are more important? Many of the people who died by Avalanche's hand didn't know how bad Shinra was, others didn't want to know...does that make what happened okay?
Reno shook his head, "We all played a very dangerous game by using violence as a means to either keep the norm or change the way things were."
He looked at her and his look was one Tifa had not seen before...pure sadness.
"Reno..."
'I know, the greater good, and everything Barret does is for the greater good. See he even saved you from me."
Tifa was flabbergasted...she could barely take in all that Reno had said.
" What was I thinking asking for your help. I can't stand most of the people you associate with, hell I forgot all about that other kid that was always at Seventh Heaven, I could see it now; hey kid really sorry I dropped a plate on your parents but you want to hang out and throw a ball around?"
Oh Shiva, Denzel...he had lost his parents in that incident. He would want to kill Reno if he knew.
"Look, I think you should contact Reeve and see if he can get you on an assignment."
"What, no way we started this together and I have my own reasons for going after Jenova's Hope... you can't leave me here."
"Sorry to disappoint you babe, but I can do whatever I want to. I told you from the moment I asked you to help me that the mission comes first. Sorry you feel jipped, but at the moment I could really care less, I have to find Rude and shut these Jenova's Hope fuckers down. And to be perfectly frank I don't have time to deal with your issues whatever they may be."
"Deal with my issues? Funny if I have so many crippling issues how could I have given you all the help I did in the past week?"
Tifa was hurt by his nonchalant tone but she also was an expert at pushing her issues to the side to get the job done. She had allowed her feelings and actions to sway her away from the bigger problem once and she swore never to do that again. She had to show Reno she was still capable of fighting along side him.
"But Miss Lockhart you are missing the obvious point, you are acting like a completely different person...no scratch that, like the Tifa I would see all the time when I came into the bar over the years. The sad and repressed woman whose fire was slowly dieing out of her as she held on to a dream that was already gone and responsibilities that should have not been hers to begin with."
Tifa turned away from Reno, she couldn't even face him...once again it seemed like his observations were perfect...it had been exactly that way, even though to be fair she liked having the children as a responsibility...she had always just wished someone else would have helped her out as well.
Reno let out a tired sigh as he headed to the closet to gather up his clothes and other items.
"Whatever happened here today made you revert back to that other woman, I can understand having relapses, it is familiar and safe. I just think you deserve to be more of an extraordinary woman then that."
After many minutes of silence only interrupted by a phone call from Reno to the front desk to send someone to retrieve his car and help him with his bags. Tifa sat on the edge of the bed not having the strength to say anything.
Then in what seemed like a whirlwind of events, their was a knock at the door, Reno gave his bags to the young man; the phone rang, his car was apparently ready, and Reno was heading for the door.
Don't leave. I was wrong about everything. I do want you and I may even need you. I need to tell you how I feel. Even if you don't feel the same, you need to know why I reverted back, why I am such a mess. I want to fight for you, I want you in my life. Don't leave...everyone in my life leaves.
Tifa watched as he reached the door, her head and heart were screaming, yet inexplicably she just sat there. He turned to her before walking out of it.
"Tifa, you really have a beautiful gift, you are able to forgive and find value in almost any person. I think it is much more of a strength for you than a weakness. It is okay that you questioned yourself about working with me but please don't let Barret or anyone else make you hate yourself for having such goodness. Once this is all over, I'll bring Rude into your bar for a drink once he's up to it. Take care of yourself okay?
And just like that, he was gone.
