Chapter 28: Thinking Siriusly
Regulus groaned in pleasure.
Emily smiled softly and slid her hand lower. "How's that?"
Regulus eyes glazed over. "Great."
Emily stopped and sighed. "I'll never understand you."
He made a sound of protest and moved her hands back to his temples. Emily rolled her eyes and continued the massage. Regulus and Emily were in the sixth year boy's dormitory, Emily leaning against the headboard with Regulus's head in her lap. He was still in his practice clothes, too tired and relaxed to change as Emily ran her fingers comfortingly over his face and through his hair.
"If Quidditch takes so much out of you then why do you play?" She muttered, tracing his jaw.
"Because it's fun." He said simply, closing his eyes again.
Emily pressed down on his shoulder and Regulus cringed, glaring up at her. "It must not be very fun when you're always coming back from practice in pain." She said, hiding a smirk.
"I'm not in pain." He protested. "I'm just a little sore, but that's why you're here, to relax me." He looked up at her and smiled innocently.
Emily pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. "Is that all?"
Regulus closed his eyes. "No, it's just one of many reasons I keep you around."
"I feel so wanted." She muttered sarcastically.
"Good." Regulus said, a smirk curling on his lips.
Emily glared and took her hands off his person. Regulus opened his eyes at once and stared up at her.
"What?"
Placing her hands on her hips she gave him a look. "Be a little more appreciative please. I could be doing something more important right now than helping you relax. Especially when you're so sore because of a game that is completely pointless."
Regulus sat up and turned to face her, looking offended. "It's not pointless!"
"You see!" Emily cried. "You care more for that stupid sport than you do about your own girlfriend."
"It's not…" Regulus began, but stopped, letting out a sigh. He held out his hand to her. "Come here."
Emily crossed her arms and turned away. "No."
Regulus sighed again. "Emily…" He said warningly.
Emily stood, her back to him. "No."
Regulus narrowed his eyes and moved off the bed. "Come here, Emily."
She stuck her chin up stubbornly. "No."
His eyes took on a predatory glint and he moved closer. Emily jumped away from him and stood on the other side of the bed, peering at Regulus from behind the bedpost. Regulus grinned and leapt over the bed, grabbing Emily around the waist and falling back onto the bed. Emily shrieked and held onto his shoulders, her eyes closing as they landed with a 'thump'.
Emily opened her eyes and hit Regulus on the chest. "Don't do that!"
"Don't run from me." He returned with a smirk.
Emily tried to get up, but he held on to her tighter. "Let me go, I'm still annoyed."
"You shouldn't be."
"Don't tell me what I'm feeling."
"I'm not, you're just being immature."
"Uh!" She cried, hitting him again. "I am not immature."
Regulus laughed. "You're jealous of a sport!"
"I'm not jealous of a sport. I just don't see what's so great about Quidditch." She muttered.
"You would know how wonderful it is if you would just get on a broom."
"You know I hate flying."
"I'll never know why either. Flying is such a wonderful thing. It gives you a sense of freedom. You have no limits and it feels like you can just fly forever."
"Or until you get sore and return to your girlfriend, who you immediately expect to drop everything she's doing just to give you attention." Emily cut in.
He sighed. "You wouldn't understand. Quidditch…is just a way for me to escape life." He said quietly.
Emily felt a pang and lifted herself up, her hands on either side of Regulus's head, her hair cascading over her shoulder like a curtain. He stared up at her, his hands resting lightly on her waist. Emily smiled softly and leaned down, her lips lightly touching his.
"I can give you a way to escape life." She said mischievously.
Regulus raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were annoyed at me?" He whispered.
"I got over it." She said softly against his lips. "Now that you've explained, all I want is to help you relax."
"What are you implying Emily?"
"No implications." She said, leaning away. "Can't I just say that I want to help you relax without you implying that I'm implying something?"
Regulus chuckled and pulled her closer, flipping their position, kissing up her neck until he reached her ear, gently nipping at the lobe. "Of course, but when I hear you say that my mind can't help but wonder."
Emily moaned, her eyes half-closed. "Regulus…wait, stop, I-"
Regulus drowned her words with another kiss. Regulus forced her mouth open with his tongue as his hand moved from her neck down until he was gently grasping her breast through her robes.
Emily's eyes widened and she tried to pull back, but Regulus's mouth was persistent to cover hers. "Reg…ummphh…wait."
"It's okay." Regulus murmured, his other hand trailing over her side and down her leg until her reached the helm of her robes. He pulled it up slowly, his hand running over the smooth skin of her leg. "You can trust me."
Emily closed her eyes tightly as his other hand moved underneath her robe as well, grasping her breast through her bra.
It's okay…This is what Regulus wants…it'll make him happy.
Emily bore with his touches and kisses for a little longer, until he began to trail his hand up her back, getting extremely close to her scar.
"NO!" Emily screamed breaking away and pulling away from Regulus. She scooted away until her back hit the headboard.
"Emily?" Regulus murmured, reaching towards her. "What's the matter?"
Emily flinched and brought her knees to her chest, pulling her robes back down over her legs.
Regulus pulled back. "Emily…I didn't mean…Please don't cry."
Emily's eyes widened and she lifted a hand to her cheek. She was indeed crying. She had started crying in front of Regulus, and after she pulled away from him like he did something wrong. Her eyes widened further and more tears spilled from her eyes.
What am I doing? I'm supposed to be comforting him. All he wanted was to be with me, and I pushed him away. I'm supposed to be making his life easier, but all I'm doing is making things worse.
Regulus reached forward again, and this time her grasped her shoulders, trying to look her in the eyes. "Emily I'm sorry, I got carried away. I should have stopped when you told me to stop. I thought…I don't know what I thought, but I shouldn't have-"
"No!" Emily burst, grabbing his hands. "No, you had every right after…after I made you think it was okay, I was just being stupid." She leaned forward and kissed him hard on the mouth, trying to get him to respond like he had before, but Regulus furrowed his eyebrows and pushed her away gently.
"Emily, it's okay. If you don't want to you don't have to."
Emily shook her head. "No, I'm ready. I know that you want to so I'm ready. Please continue, I won't try and stop you."
Regulus pulled away. "Why are you acting like this?" He asked quietly.
Emily hugged herself. "I just want you to be happy. If that's what makes you happy, then I should be happy to do it."
"Happy?" Regulus laughed humorlessly. "Emily, I can't continue and be happy if I know that you aren't and don't really want it."
"I want it!"
"Don't lie to me!" He roared.
Emily flinched and looked down.
Regulus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I got carried away, and I shouldn't have. Emily I don't want to force you, so if we ever go too far, tell me and I'll stop. And I won't let you lie to me and tell me you want it, because if you do then I don't want you."
Emily looked up fearfully. "Don't want me? But you said…you promised me!"
"I don't want you if you lie to me and try and do something that I know you don't want to do!" Regulus snapped.
Emily frowned and reached forward, cupping his cheeks in her hands, looking into his eyes. "But I'd be doing it for you."
Regulus closed his eyes. "At the cost of your own happiness?"
Emily shook her head. "No, because I really am happy when you're happy."
Regulus opened his eyes. "Emily, don't-"
"But you're right." She continued, looking away. "I was uncomfortable and wanted you to stop, but it's not because I don't want you Regulus, I swear!"
Regulus smiled and pulled her to him, hugging her closely. "I know Emily, and it's okay that you don't want to have sex just yet."
Emily rested her head on his shoulder. "So you're not mad?"
Regulus rested his head on top of hers. "I couldn't get mad over something like this."
Emily's heart began to beat faster and her breath caught in her throat. She pulled back slightly and looked up at him, her mouth suddenly dry.
"Regulus…I…" She paused and smiled. "Thank you."
Regulus's heart warmed and he smiled back. "I just want you to know that I lo…care for you because you're with me, not because you'll sleep with me."
Emily smiled wider and fell back onto the bed, pulling Regulus with her. She laid beside him, snug against his side, her head on his shoulder while his arm wrapped around her.
Emily smiled. "I'll sleep with you whenever you want Regulus, as long as we just sleep."
Regulus grinned and closed the bed curtains, pulling Emily closer. "As long as you're beside me, I don't care what we're doing."
Closed her eyes and snuggled closer. "Thank you."
Regulus watched her as her features relaxed and her breaths came out more evenly as she fell asleep. He softly pushed some hair out of her face, trailing his fingertips gently across her cheek.
"I love you, Emily…and I won't let anything bad happen to you."
Emily smiled in her sleep and moved closer.
"Ever…" He whispered.
Emily was bored. She had tried to read, but there was too much noise. People were screaming and yelling like maniacs and it was beginning to become very distracting and very annoying.
"What is it about this stupid game that causes everyone to become such idiots?" She wondered aloud, shooting a glare at a third year that squealed loudly when the members of the Slytherin Quidditch team flew onto the stadium. Narcissa, who was surprisingly a very big Qudditch fan, dragged Emily to the opening Qudditch game. She allowed herself to be taken because Regulus had pleaded her to come during breakfast.
So here she was, surrounded by her screaming housemates, who were excited and showing their support for their team. Suddenly they got even louder, but this time making negative noises as the Gryffindors flew out.
Emily's eye twitched in annoyance.
Of all the games to come to, I had to come to the opening game, and to make it worse, Slytherin vs. Gryffindor.
She set her book down roughly and rubbed her temples as the commentator's voice screamed around them, even louder than the fans.
"Welcome Qudditch fans, to the first game of the season, Slytherin vs. Gryffindor!"
Emily cringed as the stadium exploded with noise.
"Captains, James Potter of Gryffindor and Francis Avery of Slytherin will shake hands to set the game afoot!"
Emily looked down and watched as James and Avery shook hands, the respective team standing behind them. The handshake didn't last very long, as the two boys let go of each other as fast as possible.
The flying professor/referee, Professor Gruff, blew his whistle and everyone mounted their brooms. Emily watched as he opened a chest. Immediately, three balls flew out of it: the Bludgers and the Snitch. Gruff picked up the Quaffle and blew his whistle again, throwing the Quaffle into the air. All the players shot into the air, going after their respective ball.
"AND THEY'RE OFF! James Potter immediately takes possession of the Quaffle -- gonna be hard to get it away from him, one of the best Chasers Gryffindor has seen in years. Potter is blocked by Avery and quickly passes to Jenna Tanner. Tanner goes down center field and aims – OW! That must of hurt, hit on the side by a Bludger curtsey of Slytherin Beater John Wilkes. Evan Rosier catches the stay Quaffle and Slytherin takes possession of the ball."
Emily winced as another wave of cheers erupted around her. She shoved her book in her bag and stood up quickly, pulling her cloak tighter around her, heading for the stairs. Suddenly someone grabbed her arm, causing her to turn.
"Where are you going?!" Narcissa yelled over the screams.
"Loo!" Emily returned.
Narcissa narrowed her eyes, but let go. "Make sure you come back to see Regulus catch the Snitch."
Emily nodded and hurried down the stairs. She made it to the landing and leaned against the wall with a sigh of relief. She could finally hear herself think, although she could still hear the faint sound of the cheers and the commentary. She slid down the wall and took out her book.
I can just go back up when I hear that Regulus saw the Snitch. She thought reasonably as she flipped to the page she left off on. Besides, these games always last long anyway.
She only got a couple pages further when a chuckle caught her attention. Emily looked up and nearly groaned. Standing in front of her, a cocky smirk on his lips, Gryffindor scarf proudly around his neck, was the bane of her existence, Sirius Black.
"Shouldn't you be up there, cheering on your team?" She asked.
"Shouldn't you?" He countered.
"No," she said, returning to her book. "I hate Quidditch."
Sirius rolled his eyes and sat down next to her. "But loving Quidditch and being good at Quidditch runs in your family."
"Yes and so does being a Gryffindor." She said flatly. "But I seem to have broken that tradition as well."
"Yeah," Sirius said awkwardly. "Sorry."
"Not your fault." She said absentmindedly, turning the page. "You're just an idiot."
Sirius smirked and threw an arm around he shoulders. "Do you enjoy insulting me Emily?"
"I happen to find it quite amusing, yes." She spoke with a frown, moving his hand off from around her.
Sirius placed a hand over his heart. "That hurts, Emmy, it really does."
She glared. "Don't call me Emmy."
"Why? I bet Regulus calls you Emmy."
Emily snapped her book shut. "For your information, he doesn't."
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Is he not special enough to you?"
Emily stood and glared down at him, her hands on her hips. "He is special to me, and we care for each other dearly, but only my mother gets to call me Emmy."
Sirius nodded in understanding and stood as well, leaning against the wall. "Ah, I see. So, when you say care, how much feeling does that entitle?"
"A lot." She said through clenched teeth. "I care for Regulus and will always be with him."
"That's a long time to lie to yourself."
"I'm not lying!" Emily yelled. "I do care for him."
"But you don't love him." Sirius returned.
"Love?" Emily raised an eyebrow. "Love isn't something you feel after such a short time. One day, yes, I might love him, but that's because I'm willing to be with him and open to loving him. No one can love someone after such a short time."
"You're wrong." Sirius said evenly, looking her in the eyes. "Because I love you."
Emily stood unfazed. "No, you don't."
"Yes, I do Emily, I love you."
"No, Sirius, you don't."
"Don't tell me how I feel!" Sirius yelled.
"Why can't I?" Emily asked. "You always seem to tell me how I feel."
"Because you don't know!"
"How I feel?"
"How I feel!" Sirius's hands clenched into fists and he calmed himself down. "I don't care that you don't believe me because I really do love you Emily. I love you more than Regulus ever will."
"Even if that was true Sirius, I'm with Regulus, not you." She said bluntly.
Sirius grabbed Emily's shoulders and pinned her to the wall. "But you should be with me!"
Emily stared up at him. Her heart thudded against her chest. "Why?"
"Because I…I…" Sirius trailed off and leaned forward, kissing her softly. He rested his forehead against hers. "Because I love you. I can't offer you anything but that, but please just realize that I would go to the ends of the earth for you just to prove that I love you."
Her heart was beating very fast, but she ignored it and stared up at him evenly. "You can't love what you don't know anything about. You don't love me Sirius, you love the idea of me."
She pushed him away gently. "I am your best friend's corrupted sister. You say you love me because you've made yourself think that because that's what you think I need. You think that if someone loves me then I'll see the brighter side of life. You think that loving me will save me."
"Really Emily? I think that? Or is that what you tell yourself so that you don't have to think about me more than you think you should?" Sirius asked mockingly. "What I really think is that you're thinking too much, like always."
Emily scowled. "Shut up, why can't you just admit the truth?"
Sirius smiled. "Okay, I'll tell you the truth."
Emily crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.
Sirius smirked and leaned down to her height. "The truth is…I'm deeply in love with you and will always be, and I won't quit until you leave Regulus for me."
Emily leaned away. "Well, whether it's the truth or not doesn't matter because I won't be leaving Regulus for anyone."
It unnerved Emily that Sirius continued to smile. He opened his mouth, but paused as cheers filled the stadium. "Hm, looks like the Snitch was spotted."
Emily looked up and Sirius took the opportunity to take another kiss. Emily immediately pushed him away, wiping her mouth. "That's the last time you'll ever be able to do that." She glared and disappeared back up the stairs and as far away from Sirius as possible.
Sirius smirked and leaned against the wall. "We'll see, love."
