Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien.

Title Translation: Beware!

Aralas: I think I'm going to cover Faramir's reaction soon, but I want it to be in Aragorn's POV. We get to see what Gandalf thinks (per your suggestion) in this chapter. Thanks, as always, for reviewing!

Short Chapter


There was a Gondorian Toadstool in my chambers.

I'd woken with a sense of unease, sprawled on my belly among the sheets. At first, it was only a mild discomfiting sense of trouble. I'd groaned and yanked the covers over my head, shifting slightly before finding a more comfortable spot. Almost immediately, the stench of rotting meat invaded my senses and I threw the covers off, instinctively crouching into a defensive stance. The sight that met my eyes was both horrifying and strangely amusing.

Gondorian Toadstools stand six feet high on average, and they like swampy soil. The 'frills' on the undersides of their caps are lined with razor-sharp teeth, and can stretch immense spans to catch prey. They are generally a deep onyx, and their thick stems throw forth a noxious gas in clouds of black smoke. My rooms were currently engulfed with the horrid stuff; it hovered ominously against the walls and over my bed. A low, glutinous growling sound was coming from the plant, and I scooted back until my shoulders hit the wall. It was situated in a large pot with heavily irrigated soil, but I knew it could extricate itself at any time to come after me. I cursed myself for leaving my weapons in the study. Aragorn had had a lucky break in the Dead Marshes with his pipeweed, but I wasn't a smoker and my love was surely still asleep. We'd drunk heavily the night before and I myself was still feeling a bit fuzzy.

The Toadstool gave a low and ominous growl, and I watched as a pale grey, tubular root came lifting out of the pot with an ominous squelching sound. Three more soon followed, and I felt my nails dig into the skin of my arms. The gas was working it's way into my lungs, and I felt dangerously out-of-sync. Parts of the room seemed to swell to immense proportions before returning to a regular size. A feeling of elation that had nothing to do with my current situation rose within my mind, and I wondered how inebriated a predator could possibly make its prey before consuming it. Feeling that I had to do something, I rolled off the bed and onto all fours, shaking my head like a wet dog as I tried to retain my equilibrium. There was a slithering sound at the foot of the bed and I watched as two immense roots paved a sinister, slimy trail across the flagstone. As I watched, the larger of the two lifted up slightly and revealed a great, blinking eyeball at its tip. It observed me dispassionately for a moment, and another rumbling growl issued forth.

Grasping at straws, I let my hand shoot out to grasp the other root and tugged with all of my strength. There was a sickening sound of flesh being ripped from flesh and the appendage came free; spilling a dark red fluid onto my palms that hissed and began to burn. A great howling rose from the monstrous mushroom and a countless number of roots came spilling 'round; lifting up to reveal fifty or so eyes, all bloodshot and dark as onyx, blinking in a terrible unison. As I scrambled to rid myself of the acidic red fluid, some of them appeared to suck in on themselves; vanishing into their tubular sockets only to writhe and push forth circular jaws similar to those of a leech. Acting as if on singular command, they shot towards me; latching onto my skin and sucking with a fervor that left me dizzy. As my flesh broke a burst of pain filled my synapses and I cried out. Fumbling desperately behind me, I yanked open a drawer to a retrieve a small knife; throwing my shoulder forward to stab at the writhing throng drawing blood from my body. As I severed the mutated roots left and right they exploded only to spill more of the corroding crimson liquid onto my skin, burning me further. My head was growing light with rapid blood loss and I wondered if I was going to die as pathetically as I thought I was; at the mercy of a giant fungi. Just as I had given up on any hope of escape my door crashed open and a familiar roar filled the room.

"I'll save you laddie!"

I almost wept with relief as Gimli flew forward, cleaving the giant mushroom cleanly in half. The parasitic roots withdrew, hissing and turned their gaze onto my friend. I watched in horror as the two severed pieces of the mushroom quivered, and with a great bubbling noise shivered in place to form two separate plants. Each in turn lifted their roots and shot them towards Gimli, growling their united fury. Regaining some of my senses I hastily rose and went for my dirks, swiping them from where they leaned against the wall in my study. Rotating swiftly I leapt across the room in three bounds and began to hack at the roots that were swiftly surrounding my comrade. They spilled forth a great rush of acidic liquid which burned my bare feet but I kept going, severing what I could at every angle I could manage.

The Gondorian Toadstools suddenly buckled and bowed, their tops swelling to enormous size, revealing great snarling swatches of ravenous teeth that drooled and began to stridulate with a hissing sound. Gimili let out a curse and ran forward, ignoring my cry to step back. Swinging mightily, he gave his axe a great heave and lopped off the pileus of the one on the left. Catching on to his purpose I did the same to the fungi on the right. There was a great bubbling noise and the remaining roots screeched in what I hoped was immense pain. Gasping, I retreated back as the stalks wobbled ominously, turning precariously before crashing to the ground. A great cloud of noxious gas escaped the writhing stems and the room spun as I retched. Firm, trustworthy hands steadied me, and I allowed Gimli to lead me out of my rooms.

"You're in a right state" he muttered when were a good distance away. "I was worried something like this might happen."

"Who would do such a thing?" I said woozily, staggering slightly.

"Och! Who wouldn't? Half the city's bothered as a badgered bumble bee at your wedding announcement. But it was someone who had access to your rooms one way or another, I'll grant you that."

We made it halfway down the stairs before I found myself needing to vomit again, and let my head rest against the cool stones of stairwell while Gimli kept a careful watch from a respectful distance away. Once I was sure I wouldn't be sullying the floor with any more of my bodily fluids, I began a slow descent down. Despite the effect that the serious burns and major blood loss had on my body, I was still feeling decidedly inebriated from the Toadstool's excretions and it did little to boost my spirits. We passed under the Tower of Ecthellion and out into the breezy courtyard, where the air soothed me considerably. Leaving me to sag onto a bench, Gimli went to have a discussion with one of the guards. A terrible fear suddenly overwhelmed me. If I had been attacked in my own quarters Aragorn would logically have been assaulted as well. Standing, I reeled as the world spun about me, but made my way over to where my friend was, suddenly desperate. The Guard looked mildly shocked at my distinctly horrid appearance, but bowed nevertheless.

"Send some of your men to check on Lord Aragorn" I gasped. "He may be at risk as well."

I watched, feeling a little better, as a team of six guards broke off from the group to rush back to the tower. Losing all semblance of strength, I sagged and felt the edges of my vision darken. The last thing I was able to recall was the ground rushing up to meet me as I was plunged into a blissful blackness.


The first thing I was aware of was a softly calloused hand twining through mine. It wrapped around every digit; the thumb swiping gentle caresses now and then over my apparently bandaged palm. The warmth and relief that suffused me was all-encompassing. Aragorn was alright, well enough to come and sit beside me in what I assumed were the Healing Houses. The sound of pages rustling indicated he was reading a book or shuffling through paperwork. The soft, rustic scent of parchment filled my nose and I allowed a small smile to ghost over my lips, though I did not open my eyes. Without moving, I slowly assessed the condition of my body. Nothing was broken, I could tell by subtly focusing on each limb, searching for acute pain before I moved to another. The skin under my bandages was burned, but seemed to have mostly healed and would be ready to expose to the air again soon. I still felt mildly lightheaded from the blood loss, but not alarmingly so. I guessed, taking into account my state when I fell unconscious and my elvish healing abilities, that I had been away from the world for a better part of two days. The realization did not alarm me so much as irritate me, for there was much I could have missed.

"I know you're awake."

Smiling, I slowly allowed my eyes to open, blinking away the last vestiges of sleep that lingered on my heavy lids. Turning, I met my love's gaze and gently brought his hand to my lips. Lines reminiscent of a long time spent worrying smoothed from his face and he put down the book he was reading, moving forward to lean over me.

"I'm sorry to have slept for so long, meleth-nin" I murmured, my voice hoarse from disuse.

"You had great need to" Aragorn soothed, brushing his fingers over my brow. "Each of us needs time to heal when we are wounded."

"Was anyone else harmed?" I queried, struggling to sit up.

"Gimli had a few burns, but no one else was targeted" he replied, hastening to aid me.

"Mm" I murmured, settling into the pillows. "So the attack was solely focused upon me."

"It certainly seems so" my love agreed, pursing his lips.

"Have you found who is responsible?"

"No" Aragorn said darkly. "Though I've searched for clues day and night."

"Getting the Toadstool into my rooms can't have been easy" I mused. "The perpetrator may have burns or lesions of their own."

"That's very true" Aragorn agreed. "I'll pass the word around, though I don't know how many will rise to the occasion."

"It seems I am more hated then I thought" I chuckled. "Enough to attempt to kill me in a degrading yet truly memorable way."

"You are not hated" Aragorn said gruffly. "I love you, more than the sun and sky and stars. Gimli came to your rescue and you should have seen Thranduil in here yesterday."

"Oh" I groaned. "I imagine he's been pleasant with all of this."

"Quite" the dark-haired man grumbled. "He insisted on caring for you himself, and wouldn't let any of the other healers touch you. I had to throw a fit this morning, just to get him to go and rest. I'm assuming he'll barge in at any moment."

"Well you must kiss me first" I teased, reaching up to cup his cheek. "Otherwise we'll get an awful scolding."

Aragorn's eyes softened and he leaned forward to tenderly press his lips against mine. We remained there a few moments, sharing the pleasure of being reunited. After a minute, I drew back reluctantly, rubbing my bandaged hand absentmindedly.

"I wonder if there's anything I can do to earn the people's favor."

Aragorn stilled for a moment, as if deeply in thought.

"Those agricultural proposals" he said slowly. "How are you doing with them?"

"I'm nearly done" I sighed, feeling my lids grow heavy again. "Why do you ask?"

"Have you figured out a reasonable compromise?"

"I think so" I began uncertainly. "Each farmer wanted an extra ten acres of land, but I divided it down to an acceptable amount of two acres each. Gandalf has offered to bless each new plot, and my father volunteered his people to help prepare the soil." I smiled weakly. "I will deliver each missive personally, and I should be done by the wedding if all goes well."

"That's very well done" my love commented, sounding impressed. "I was about to suggest we announce your decision, but I can see you've thought of a better way to handle it."

"I think the public has had about enough of announcements for a while" I sighed, pressing my cheek into the pillow. "Forgive me, I'm terribly weary."

"Of course" he whispered, stroking my hair. "I'll be here if you need me."

"Hmm" I murmured. "Thank you meleth-nin."

My dreams were soft and easy. I floated on an endless cloud of softest white. Occasionally, the busy noises of the Healing House broke through my consciousness but soon faded. I was aware of Aragorn's presence and it soothed me, buoying me up into a peaceful, dreamless state. At some point, someone awakened me to help me drink an herbal medley, but I was soon fast asleep again. Mercifully, it seemed my father had decided against visiting that day, and I was left to my snoozing devices.

It was late in the day before I was able to rouse myself again. The long, stained-glass windows threw multicolored hues on the white sheets surrounding me. I was in a single room, with no one to share it with. Glancing over at the chair beside me, I assumed Aragorn must have gone to have dinner. I was feeling a bit hungry myself, but I didn't want to bother the staff. Reaching over to the small bedside table, I poured myself a glass of water before sitting back, unsure of what to do. The answer came in the form of Gandalf, who settled himself in Aragorn's vacant chair. He stared at me a moment before speaking, his bushy brows drawn together in an expression of consternation.

"I'm not here to comfort you" he said gruffly.

"I assumed as much" I sighed, taking a sip of water.

"You should know that this was an incredibly tedious, expensive, and discreet attempt on your life. It takes an immense amount of skill to transport a dark creature into any city where I reside without my notice. Whoever did this will likely try again, and you may not be so lucky next time."

"Well, at least we can cross any dull-minded individuals off the list" I joked weakly.

"This is not a laughing matter!" Gandalf snapped, and I sobered. "I warned you that the road you are going down would be hard, and now you see how hard it is!" He pulled a disgusted face. "I don't expect you to understand the gravity of this situation, but you must at least understand the consequences of your actions."

"I do" I said, smiling, and he looked at me as if I'd grown two heads. "I knew something like this might happen, and that it will likely happen again. But that doesn't change how much I love Aragorn. My heart will always belong to him, whether I am dead or alive. I won't step away simply because the way is dangerous."

"I confess, I was hoping you wouldn't announce it until closer to the wedding" Gandalf grumbled. "But you wanted to give Gondor time to adjust, and I respect you for it."

"Aragorn and I only want what's best for Gondor" I murmured. "After time passes, and if we have made our best effort, I will step down if the people still do not love me. I will allow Aragorn to defer to all affairs of the state, and will remain consort and heirmother."

Gandalf stood, harrumphing as he did so. Gathering his staff he eyed me shrewdly.

"I can't see your existence ending in anything but dead or dull" he said sharply.

"I am loved" I replied calmly. "Even if I am dead, no one can change that. And as long as I have Aragorn's heart, life can never be dull."


Author's Note: That's it for this week. So, I drew from a lot of concepts for the Gondorian Toadstool. Hydra for its multiplying body parts, spiny caterpillars, and tarantulas for it's jaws (my two Goliath Tarantulas hiss or 'stridulate') for jaws, for its roots; leech, Stygian witches, and spongebob caveworms, and shadow/'shroom/carrion flower for the stem. Essentially, Legolas gets high, burned, and partially exsanguinated. not the best of my moments. This was a twist on your 'general' assassination attempts. I hope this was interesting. Thanks for Reading!

R&R