Hey! I know I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry!!!!! Sparky (the receiver. Sparky is her knew name) already told me off for not updating. While we were running. For twenty minutes. I hate running. I know this will sound like excuses but this is 100% true. I got sick for a month and a half with something I won't go into detail with. But then when I got back to school I had no idea what I was doing. My grades, usually A point average, dropped to about a B. I failed two tests in a row. I had to pick everything up. I got my grades up so I'll try to update more often.

I've been looking for this song that I don't know what it's called. It was in the movie A Nightmare at the End of the Hall. I've been spending tons of time looking for it but I can never ever find it! If any of you can find and pm me with the correct answer, I promise I will update within the next six hours of checking my email. Here are the lyrics I remember.

"I'm sitting here beside myself, I'm staring at the novels on the shelf

A million words in front of me, but I can't find the one word that I need

If I could be an open book I wouldn't be misunderstood

Every word I left unspoken is like another promise broken

I've got to put it back together"


Edward POV

I waited a split second, just to assure her steady footing before stepping away. The feeling of loss, desperation and above all a burning, stinging pain filled my chest.

I wanted to feel her in my arms again. I wanted to hold her to me and make her fears go away. To protect her from her pain. To shield her from the cruel world she had been thrust into. To wipe away the lost look she concealed beneath the hard mask she had built so well. I wanted nothing more than to see the hurt leave her eyes. I wanted her smile and her laugh. I wanted to see her happy like she had been so long ago. I wanted my Bella back, the young child who lived, who loved for no more reason than that they did not hurt her.

I watched as the tears slid down her cheeks, the sobs shaking her form.

"I'm sorry Bella," I murmured desolately. "I'm so sorry, my little angel." I barely noticed as my families heads turned to look at me. If I had not been what I am, the monster that I had become, I wouldn't have hurt her so much. The pain would have knocked me to the ground, drowned in it. I would have gladly allowed it to suffocate me. I would have allowed it to end. I wanted it to end.

My vampire balance kept me on my feet. I whirled away from her, not being able to face her anymore. I couldn't keep looking at her, to see the agony burned into her eyes. It was the agony that I had put there.

I fled. I turned and ran, weaving between the trees, away from my angel. My broken, too perfect, scared little angel. I spun on my heel, fleeing from her pain, my pain, the pain I had caused her. I hurt her so much. I hurt her more than anyone, Bella above everyone deserved. I couldn't stand myself. I had no right to be near her. I deserved to die for what I'd done to her.

I knew I had left Hogwarts grounds when I reached the forest outside of London. I stayed between the greenery. A river gushed next to me. My feet gave out under me, not from exhaustion, never from exhaustion. I couldn't hold myself together anymore. I couldn't hold myself on my feet. I felt so weakened, like I was human.

I fell to the ground, the will to stand flowing from me like a dam bursting forth over the land. I hadn't felt this since I was. I had felt pain when I had left. I had thought at the time, nothing could possibly be worse than the agony I had felt then. I had to leave my only love. Eight-years-old or not, she was the only one I could ever and would ever love.

My shoulders shook violently as I dry sobbed into the soft green grass. My fingers knotted, clenching and unclenching in it. But part of me knew. Not all of this was my fault. Not everything bitter about her was my fault. Most of it yes, but all of it, no. If she had not ever gone to the Dursleys home when she was young, if her parent's hadn't been killed, if she hadn't been tortured through life, she would be a whole happy child. But I had made it worse. I had gained her trust, I had been her best friend, I had loved her, then I had left her left. The guilt, the pain, the hurt, it was overwhelming. I couldn't live with myself.

"Edward," I heard Alice screaming in the distance. "Edward don't!"

I didn't look up. I didn't respond. I let my misery sweep me away. I just laid still, waiting for the miniature pixie to attack me.

Alice's small arms wrapped around my chest. I ignored her, wallowing in my guilt.

"Edward it won't help Bella at all if you commit suicide," she murmured sorrowfully. "She tries to hate you but she can't. She still loves you and it would only hurt her more if you left her again."

I flinched at her words.

"She needs you now. She's sick. She's scared and she's hurt and she needs you," Alice continued. "You should believe me by now. Don't go to the Volturi. If you tell them what happened, they'll come for her. They'll kill Bella and Harry and Remus and Sirius because they know what we are. Aro will find out if you go."

When I stayed silent she got angry. I could feel the anger radiating off her. "You promised to protect her!" she screamed in my face. "You promised to protect my little sister! You promised and now you're going to get her killed because you can't take a little pain! You'll get her killed! How can you do that to Bella?"

I winced at every word she spat at me. "I'm sorry," I growled into the grass. "I'm sorry okay Alice? I'm sorry! I'm stupid. I'm an idiot! Are you happy? Are you happy? I know! I broke every promise I made to Bella! Don't you think I hate myself enough? Don't you think I know what I've done to Bella? You don't need to rub it in okay? I'm sorry. I can't do anything else. I don't know what else there would be to do! I can't do anything but say I'm sorry!" My fist slammed into the ground, grinding out a hole in the dirt with ever sentence.

"Don't leave again," Alice shot back. "Prove to her that you still love her and will do everything in your power to care for her. She still thinks you hate her. She still thinks she was just a toy. You have to prove to her otherwise. You're not doing anything but pitying yourself because you made a stupid decision!"

I couldn't look at her, knowing she was right.

"Believe me this time Bella won't survive if you leave her again. You broke her when you left, you'll kill her if you do it again," Alice whimpered. "Please, please, please," she begged. "I don't want to loose my little sister again. Our family can't loose Bella again. Please don't make any of us go through that."

"I'm sorry Alice," I murmured desperately, gazing into her eyes. I could see my own reflected in the venom tears in hers, see the pain, no the absolute agony and hopelessness in them. She shied away from the expression, fear and worry flashing across her face. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I can't keep doing this to her. I can't keep hurting her."

"Then don't," Alice said softly. "Heal her. You're the only one who can. Look where we are. Look how much she means to you." At her words I looked up, gazing around at our surroundings. It was a small winding patch of royal blue flowers. It was where Bella and I had spent many an afternoon basking in the warm sun. She would run around the flowerbed, giggling. She would trip and I would always be there to pick her up and hold her. It was where she first told me what the Dursleys did to her and Harry. It was where she would always tell me what I asked, where she would always open up and not be afraid. It was our special place.

"Your subconscious draws you to whatever part of her you can be near," Alice continued, knowing she had caught my attention at last. There was a small spark of hope in her black eyes. "Please. I want Bella back."


Alice and I walked slowly, for a vampire, through the forest. The silence wasn't awkward but it wasn't comfortable. It wasn't like walking with Bella. We could remain silent for hours on end and think nothing of it. It was second nature for us, just to simply be around each other.

"She'll come around Edward," Alice said quietly. "I've seen it. You two will have a very happy life together."

We reached the castle just as the sun was beginning to set. It cast an orange-red glow across the indigo sky. Lavender purple clouds smeared over the colors. A cool wind whipped through our hair and clothes.

Edward. Carlisle was calling. Edward.

"Carlisle," I answered plainly.

How are you dear? Esme fretted.

"How is Bella?" I asked, ignoring her question.

Silence. Neither of them seemed to want to answer my question but Carlisle's thoughts gave him away.

"Is she alright?" I demanded, my pace quickening until I was running in a full out sprint through the castle. "What's wrong with her?" I burst through the doors of our wing.

Carlisle and Esme were on their feet.

"She should be fine by tomorrow evening. I'm having Severus prepare a hydration draught that should help her body to cool," Carlisle said calmly.

"What's wrong with her?" I commanded.

"She's just tired and dehydrated," he assured me. "She's sleeping now."

I didn't bother to respond, the doors slamming shut behind me. I flew through the hallways. "Grindilow," I called. The portrait of the fat lady swung open to admit me. I paid no heed to the groups of students who turned their heads to see the white bronze blur fly past them. My feet skipped up the stairs into Bella's dormitory. As a professor I was allowed in, unlike the rest of the boys in Gryffindor.

True to Carlisle's word, Bella was fast asleep in her bed. Droplets of sweat gathered on her forehead. She tossed and turned violently, threatening to roll out of her bed.

Fearing her injuring herself, I grabbed her wrist, pinning her to the bed. "Shh, shh," I murmured softly, stroking her hair with the other hand. Her twisting calmed under my touch and she groaned quietly, turning her head over on her pillow.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. You have no idea how impossibly sorry I am. I never ever wanted to leave you," I whispered. I didn't even know if she could hear me. I just had to tell her. I had to let her know what she would never believe. "But on your birthday, with what happened with Jasper, I couldn't stand to think what would have happened if I hadn't heard his thoughts. Or if it had been me. I couldn't stand to think that that could have been me to hurt you. I wouldn't let that happen again. I never wanted to see you hurt. I thought you would be better off without me. I wanted you to live a normal life. I guess now thinking back on it, that was a stupid decision. How could either of us ever have a normal life? We aren't normal. But I wanted what was best for you. I always have and I always will. I know my promises won't mean anything to you anymore but I do promise that. I'm so sorry Bella. I love you."

Gently, I leaned forward, pressing my lips to her forehead.

"Do you mean it?" Bella's voice mumbled.

I stared, stunned. Had she woken up?

When my silence stretched on, a small frown appeared on her lips. "I didn't think so. Thank you for trying."

"Of course I meant it Bella," I whispered. "Of course I meant every word of it. Please, you have to believe me."

"I'll think about it," she groaned, rolling over, her eyes still closed. "Goodnight Eddie."

I sat very still on the edge of her bed, just staring at my sleeping angel. Only in sleep did she look like my Bella. Not the hard cold Audra she had become. She was my little angel. She was happy and alive, not guarded and angry. She was so sweet and so innocent.

You should go Edward. Rosalie's thoughts intruded on my dreaming. The other first year girls are heading up and they'll be curious why Professor Cullen is in their dormitory.

I looked warily at Bella. "She's so sick Rose," I murmured softly, stroking one hand across her cheek, wiping the sweat away. "I can't leave her. What if something goes wrong and I'm not here?"

"I'll stay," she answered, sliding through the door. "I'll watch over Bella and if anything goes wrong, you will be the first to know. Well apart from Alice but I'll come get you if anything at all seems unnatural."

I bit my lip cautiously but finally nodded. "Tell me when she wakes up," I said quietly. "Goodnight little angel," I muttered, kissing Bella's forehead again.

"She'll be alright Edward," Rosalie assured me. "Alice saw nothing out of the ordinary for a magical school."

I nodded, managing a small smile. "Thank you Rose," I said sincerely. She smiled back. It wasn't a conceded smile either. It was her motherly, loving smile, one she only ever wore around Bella.

"Thank you too Edward," she said. "Without you, I wouldn't have Bella. None of us would. She's completed our family."

I hugged Rose tightly, and to my surprise she hugged me back. "Now shoo," she said suddenly. "I can take care of my little sister for the night." I grinned before disappearing down the staircase. I didn't miss the glare from Harry. I looked away ashamed, instead turning my head back to look at the staircase, longing for Bella.

"He looks so worried," Hermione muttered. "Maybe you're being a bit harsh Harry."

"No I'm not," Harry snapped.

"Come on mate," Ron said reproachfully yet cautiously, Harry's temper being famous especially concerning his baby sister. "You saw how he defended her this afternoon."

"It doesn't change anything," I said just loud enough for them to hear me. "He has every right to hate me."

Their heads turned to look at me, startled. "How did you…" Ron stuttered.

"Don't ask," Harry interrupted. Then to me, "You are right on one account. I do hate you. And I hate you for justified reasons. But what you did for my little sister does change things. Just a little, but it does change them. Now sit down. I have a question for you and if I get the answer I'm expecting it will take longer than a five word sentence."

Hermione looked at Harry, surprise on her face. Even without my or Jasper's power, everyone in the school knew Harry's aversion to my family, me in particular.

I sat in one of the red and gold armchairs. "What did you want to know?" I asked carefully.

"Why did you leave?" he questioned, staring at me impassively.

"Remus didn't tell you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows in confusion. "I would have thought he would have. If not him than Sirius."

He shook his head. "Neither of them know," he said flatly. "Your mum didn't tell them and Bella wouldn't talk to anyone until I got back." I flinched at that. Hermione stood on Harry's foot in what would have been inconspicuous had I been human. She gave him a warning look.

"Do they know…" I asked, my voice trailing off, knowing he would guess what I was asking.

He nodded. "What you are? Yeah. I told them when they asked why you were so important to her."

"Then they know the details? What Alice, Jasper and I do? How we feed?" I inquired raising an eyebrow.

A look of discomfort flashed in his eyes at the word feed but he nodded again. "Not the specifics but they know the general ideas."

"Then this will be easy. You know that Bella came over to my house the day of her birthday. Everything was fine. Jasper was keeping his distance; he hadn't fed in two weeks and that was pushing it. He knew his limits and was going to go that evening. He would have gone that day but no one wanted to miss Bella's birthday. She was opening her presents when she got a paper cut. I didn't realize, I couldn't smell it; I was too used to the scent of her blood to notice. But I heard Jasper's thoughts and Alice's vision and I reacted. I pushed her out of the way. I couldn't let Jasper bite her. She was only eight. I pushed her away but she hit the table and the glass on it shattered. She fell into it and there was blood everywhere."

I looked up at them, seeing the horror in their eyes, the stunned expressions mirrored on each of their faces.

"You have to understand that I couldn't let that happen again. If I hadn't heard Jasper's thoughts, I would have been too late. Or worse that could have been me. I could have killed her. I couldn't allow that to happen again and leaving was the only way to avoid it. It killed me to do it; you have no idea how much I love Bella but that's why I left. I wouldn't let what I am hurt her because I love her. I can't stand to see her hurt and I thought she would be better off without me."

I stared pleadingly at them, my hands twisting nervously.

"Please understand that what I did was with every intention of helping her. I only want what's best for her. I thought without me, she would be better off. You remember what happened with James. It was only one more monster trying to kill her. It was my fault too. I could have prevented it somehow. If I hadn't brought her to the game she would have been all right. James never would have known about her and she would have been okay." I dropped my head into my hands desperately. "I've already tormented myself about this, you could never understand how much I regret hurting her. There are no words to describe how much I despise myself. I promised her. I promised Bella that I would never let anyone hurt her ever again. I promised after James had hurt her. It tore me apart to see that. I could see it in everyone's thoughts. I could see him throwing her across the hall and I… I couldn't live with that. I promised her that nothing would ever hurt her."

There was stunned silence from the trio, both verbally and mentally.

"I… I…" Harry stuttered. "I never knew… I just thought… I guessed…"

I nodded understandingly. "I would have too. I would have assumed the worst but please try to believe when I say that I never meant any of it."

"Never meant any of what?" Harry asked stoically.

"I never meant that I didn't love her. I never meant that I didn't want her or that I didn't need her. I wanted her to get over me and I thought a clean break would be healthier for her. I hoped that if she thought I had moved on, so would she," I whispered brokenly, staring now into the dancing flames.

The silence stretched on, made all the more awkward by their stares.

"Well that was stupid," Hermione said bluntly.

"I'm… sorry," Harry said. "I never knew what really happened. I jumped to conclusions when I saw her. You don't know what she was like when I saw her. She was just lying there. It was like when we were just arriving at Lupin Manor. She was underweight and weak again. She lost the will to keep going when you left."

"As did I," I murmured. "Ask my family, they'll tell you. Jasper couldn't even stand to be in the same room as me. Actually he preferred to stay in the opposite side of the house. I spent all of my time sitting in the window. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. Esme didn't sign me up for school in Maine. She didn't think I would make it." I snorted. "She was right. I couldn't even make it at home. I couldn't do anything. Emmett had to drag me out of the house every few weeks to hunt."

They all three flinched at the word 'hunt' but I felt no offense. It was natural for humans to fear us. If only Bella had too. She wouldn't be in such a harsh predicament if she had only feared me like everyone else.

"Well, that's all very nice but…" Hermione seemed to be stumbling over her words trying to find a polite way to say what was on her mind. I grinned to myself, realizing her ignorance of my power. "Well… don't you at all find it… well, don't take offense to this Professor but, isn't it a little, perverted? I mean she's only ten and you are seventeen, making her four when you met her and you eleven."

I snorted, raising an eyebrow to Harry.

"I told you they didn't know the details," he said, shrugging.

"I don't age," I informed the other two. "I've been seventeen ever since Carlisle changed me."

They gaped openly, staring in shock at my young appearance.

"How old are you?" Ron asked bluntly and somewhat rudely.

"I was born in 1901 in Chicago, Illinois," I answered, smirking as their jaws dropped. Harry chuckled. "Carlisle changed me in 1918. I was dying of the Spanish Influenza. My parents had already succumbed to the epidemic; there was no one to miss me."

It hardly surprised me, the shocked and somewhat disgusted expressions in their eyes. I had felt the same when I had first learned what I was. I hated knowing I had become a monster. But Bella had changed that. If I hadn't become what I am, I never would have met her. I would be six feet under and rotting, never realizing how perfect the world could be. Bella was my world. She had been when I first met her; she was still, and she always would be. She would always be first. She would always be more important than what I or anyone else would want.

Edward. Esme called gently. Edward dear, we have to go to the staff room. They want to know what happened. They deserve to know.

I hissed quietly. "I'm not leaving. She might need something. I have to be here."

No Edward you don't. Alice commented. She'll be okay. And if anything changes, I'll see it. Rosalie will come get you if I miss anything. She'll be okay. I promise okay?

I growled.

Edward if you don't come down here this instant, Emmett will come to get you. Carlisle warned. We all want this over with.

"Fine," I sighed. In a flash I was standing outside the staff room, the door standing open. I glided silently between the staff, studiously ignoring their gazes on me. Carlisle nodded to me.

Thank you for not being sighed mentally. He ran a hand through his neatly combed blonde hair, his distress mirrored in his movements.

"I believe you agreed to an explanation as to why Audra is practically unconscious in her dormitory?" Minerva said through clenched teeth.

"Allow me, Minerva," Severus said smoothly in his snake like voice. "Who had the best view of Audrianna this afternoon?" he asked professionally, looking directly at Carlisle, his expression as black as his thoughts.

I pushed away from the wall, nodding to him. "I did." I didn't miss the way Minerva's face hardened at my declaration.

"Legillimens," he said, pointing his wand directly at me. I resisted the temptation to dodge the spell, holding myself as still as the stone wall behind me. Severus added a quick incantation to the end of his spell, causing my memories to jump to life around staff room turned to the clearing, students appearing around us, seated on the ground.


Spell

You took my hand

You showed me how

You promised me you'd be around

Uh huh

That's right

I took your words

And I believed

In everything

You said to me

Yeah huh

That's right

If someone said three years from now

You'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them out

Cause they're all wrong

I know better

Cause you said forever

And ever

Who knew

Remember when we were such fools

And so convinced and just too cool

Oh no

No no

I wish I could touch you again

I wish I could still call you friend

I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now

'fore they're long gone

I guess I just didn't know how

I was all wrong

They knew better

Still you said forever

And ever

Who knew

Yeah yeah

I'll keep you locked in my head

Until we meet again

Until we

Until we meet again

And I won't forget you my friend

What happened

If someone said three years from now

You'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them out

Cause they're all wrong and

That last kiss

I'll cherish

Until we meet again

And time makes

It harder

I wish I could remember

But I keep

Your memory

You visit me in my sleep

My darling

Who knew

My darling

My darling

Who knew

My darling

I miss you

My darling

Who knew

Who knew

One single tear traced down my angel's cheek as she focused her gaze on the ground, suddenly finding great interest in the grass under her feet. I looked away, guilt flooding through me at her song.

"Very nice," Rose murmured, forcing a sad smile to Bella.

Carlisle nodded his agreement, an off look in his eyes as he gave her the next instructions. "Now the next song, try to use non-verbal spells in the song. Don't use your wand; try to use magic through the song. Make the spell personal as you can. It makes it easier."

"Easy enough," Bella sighed, still focusing on her feet. "Let's go boys. Going Under."

Oh no. Harry's thoughts flashed through my mind. Ron, Fred, and George's thoughts mirrored his, each in a sense of turmoil.

"Uh, Audra, maybe we should do a happier song for this," Ron advocated, casting a wary glance at my family and I.

"How is happy personal?" Bella's hand raked through her shorter brown hair. It had begun to grow out again, gaining some of the curls again. "Sorry. Going Under is as personal as it gets."

"Let's do a little less forceful one," Fred advised as carefully as he could. Please don't get angry. Please don't get angry. Please don't get angry. He was chanting his mind.

Bella shook her head stubbornly. "I think this one is best." I heard the meaning behind her words. We're doing this song because I relate to this one. We're doing this song because it's me.

George sighed a long breath before nodding. "Fine. But you're doing the spell. We'll get our chance later. Fred?"

Fred cast a fearful glance at Bella, biting his lip nervously. "Five, six, seven, eight."

Now I will tell you what I've done for you

50 thousand tears I've cried.

Bella's voice was haunting, ghostly. Her hair swirled around her face, the wind around her picking up speed. One of her hands rose, allowing rain drops just beginning to fall to collect in it. Lightning flashed in the sky above. Thunder rumbled around us and rain began to pour from the sky.

Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you

And you still won't hear me.

(going under)

Flashes of living dead, teens, children, babies flashed around us. They screamed and wailed, blood dripping from their noses, eyes, and mouths, down their necks and from their hair. I shuddered visibly at the images, knowing all two well it was a mirror of the horrors Bella had witnessed.

I couldn't tear my gaze away from the small figure. With a human's eyesight, it would have difficult to pick Bella's form from the thick sheet of rain pouring down. But with the heightened vampire senses I had gained, it was easy to see not all of the water streaming down her face was rain.

Don't want your hand this time

I'll save myself.

Maybe I'll wake up for once

(wake up for once)

Not tormented daily defeated by you

Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm Dying again

The scene before us darkened at each word she sang. Slowly, one by one, each of the students appeared to being dying gruesome deaths. They looked so strangely similar to the crowds of dead around the clearing.

I'm going under

(going under)

Drowning in you

(drowning in you)

A flash flood consumed us. White water rapids washed overhead, constricting breathing. It meant next to nothing to me. I didn't need air. I hadn't needed air since 1918. My only fear was for Bella. Water washing around us and she was still expelling her breath into the song. Alice's small hand locked around my wrist as I moved towards Bella.

"She'll be fine, Edward," Alice murmured quietly. I stared longingly at Bella, wanting to hold her, wanting to protect her from the world.

I'm falling forever

(falling forever)

I've got to break through

I'm going under

Everyone around us gasped for air as the water drained away.

Blurring and stirring

the truth and the lies.

So I don't know what's real and what's not

(So I don't know what's real and what's not)

Always confusing the thoughts in my head

So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm Dying again

I'm going under

(going under)

The wind howled, rain droplets whipped into our faces like bullets. My eyes and neck stung from the force of my hair snapping against my exposed skin and the wind snapping and gusting through the forest. People covered their faces with their hands and arms, trying to keep the storm at bay.

Drowning in you

(drowning in you)

I'm falling forever

(falling forever)

I've got to break through

I'm...

So go on and scream

Scream at me

I'm so far away

(so far away)

I won't be broken again (again)

A dead body seemed to fall from the sky, hurtling towards us. People screamed hunching together. The body vanished a second before landing on a group of seventh year girls.

I've got to breathe

I can't keep going under

I'm Dying again

I'm going under

(going under)

Drowning in you

(drowning in you)

I'm falling forever

(falling forever)

I've got to break through

I winced as every new torture washed over us all. I could feel hot oil dripping down my back. I could hear every insult her aunt and uncle had thrown at her. I could see the dementors, the feeling of desperation filling me. I felt the sensation of flying through the air and slamming into the table. All of it felt so realistic. All of it was realistic to Bella.

I'm going under

(going under)

I'm going under

(drowning in you)

I'm going under

The aching, burning sensation in my heart doubled, then tripled, multiplying as Bella's spell strengthened. I could almost take the memory from her mind. It was that night that had haunted her life even before me. It was the night that half of her had died. It was the night that Voldemort had torn her family apart and left her and Harry to suffer. I could feel the spell sucking the life from my dead body, feel the absolute desperation of abandonment. Emmett was right, too right. She felt as if her parents had abandoned her, that she hadn't been good enough and that they left her. I felt as if I would never see the sun again. Like all my purpose for living had deserted me.

Everyone around us had tears flowing freely down their faces. Rose dry sobbed into Emmett's chest, Alice and Esme mirroring them with their respective partners.

The rain lightened, the sun shining again as the clouds blew away. Bella's legs wobbled, her strength streaming from her with the spell. I flashed to her side, wrapping my arms securely around her small waist. She lay limply in my arms, allowing me to cradle her against my chest. Her eyes closed, a tear rolling down her cheek. With one gentle finger, I swiped it away, stroking her cheek with my thumb.

"Shh," I murmured softly. "It's alright. It's okay." She whimpered quietly, her hand wrapping around a fistful of my shirt just like the first day we met. She was so weak and so vulnerable and exposed.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Draco Malfoy's voice gasped.

Slowly, I leaned Bella back on her feet, taking a step back. I moved away, allowing her freedom but staying close enough to catch her if she fell.

"You don't know what it's like. To know nothing but pain every day! For the first four years of my life, I was thrown down stairs, burned by pans and boiling water, whipped by belts, beaten!" Bella screamed, her eyes so filled with pain.

"So you torture us because you're hurt, oh boo hoo," Malfoy drawled in a baby's voice. "Get over it Potter, we've all been hurt before."

Her face flushed a dark angry rose. "My parents died to try to save me and Harry. They tried their best to give us a life but we ended up being abused and hurt and tortured physically, mentally, and emotionally! And nothing got any better. There are still creatures out there that will stop at nothing to see me dead! And it will never end until either my brother or I are killed!" Her fist slammed furiously into the tree next to her.

My eyes grew darker with every word she yelled, my heart growing colder and colder, turning to black ice at her pain.

"Only one heart can thrive, that's the last line of the prophecy that is the reason my parents are dead. It means Harry or I will die to keep the other alive."

I snarled under my breath. I would never let that happen.

"You don't know what it's like to go to sleep every night, praying, just hoping to wake up the next morning and to wish that your life was normal. That you could have an average family. That you could live an average life. We as wizards don't even have normal life. I'm the peak of abnormality! I can't even have the average wizarding life. I have to look to the sky and hope that maybe God will spare my life and let me see the next sunrise!"

Most of the students' thoughts were a mixture of awe and pity. A few however, were the same. Selfish, bitter, jealous.

"So don't you dare tell me that was torture. Don't even think for a moment you know the any kind of pain that's haunted my life since the day I was born."

"Go to hell Potter," he sneered, getting his voice back.

"I was born in hell!" Bella screamed furiously. She clawed at her hair and face, desperately trying to find some sort of ledge of sanity to hold onto. "I was born in secret! I was born in hiding! Everyday I told myself it couldn't get any worse than this. That was the only thing keeping me to reality. But everyday it does! Everyday something else goes wrong and someone else wants me dead."

"Potter…" Malfoy began.

I snapped. I was angry that I had to be what I am. I was angry that I hadn't died with my family. I was angry that I had to haunt Bella's life. I was furious that I had to leave. All of my pent up fury with the world burst forth. My eyes blazed coal black as I slammed into him. My hand pinned him high against a tree, his feet dangling above the ground.

"I dare you," I growled, pure, untamed hatred burning in my voice. My face contorted into a mask of agony and fury, my glare burning a hole into his mind. My free hand flexed, tensing and untensing in a vain attempt to control myself. "Finish that one more sentence against her when she did nothing absolutely nothing wrong. She's been through more than you ever will in your puny pathetic excuse for a life. She was thrown into a world where everyone and everything wants her dead. So I dare you. Say it."

I snarled deafeningly when he stayed silent.

"You're a coward," I hissed lividly. "You're nothing but a coward. You fear what I could do to you. You're right to fear me. I want to kill you for everything you provoked. I could kill you so easily. And it would mean nothing to me. All you are is a nuisance to Bella."

Carlisle's stone hard hand settled on my shoulder. I could hear the enraged thoughts running through his head, though his voice was their polar opposite. It was calm and steady, as always. "Remember who you are," he murmured.

I felt the fire flowing through my veins fade, and released Malfoy. I left him on the ground, gasping and panting.

I heard Bella's heart beat stutter exhaustedly. I whirled frantically, wrapping my arms around her as she fell. I carried her to the thick patch of clovers, laying her gently on it. "I'm sorry," I whispered remorsefully, too quietly for the class to hear. Then, painfully, unwillingly slowly, I pulled my arms away. I took one last fleeting look at her, lying splayed in the grass, her eyes closed. A needle of pain stabbed through my heart as I turned away, vanishing between the trees. All of this was my fault.

With a sudden jerk the spell ended, the scene around us turning back to the staff room.

I didn't need any sort of super human sense to tell what the staff was thinking. They were sad, confused, and above all furious.

End Spell


"Severus Snape!" Minerva screamed. "You beat sense into that Malfoy boy this instant or I will blast my way through this castle and curse him to hell!"

"I would gladly," I volunteered, moving from the shadows. The firelight danced across my face, giving me a haunting appearance. Everyone, even my family, drew away in fear. "I will gladly teach it a lesson."

"Ah, Edward," Albus stuttered. It was the first time I had ever witnessed him at a loss for words. "We know how… protective you are of Audra but well… maybe it would better if, er, we handled this, well the human way."

I loosed a low growl from deep within my chest, fuming angrily. Everyone drew even father away.

I didn't miss my family closing in around me. I could see Emmett flexing his muscled arms, Jasper sinking into a low crouch. Alice stood back a bit, knowing the outcome, knowing that if I fought, I would fight for Bella and I would win. Esme was unwilling to fight me, unwilling to recognize me, her first son in this life, as the enemy. Carlisle stood slowly, taking one step at a time towards me. Both his hands were in the air, his thoughts mirroring his expression. He could not and would not fight me. He found it immoral to fight me when he wanted the same as I did. He wanted and yet he did not want Draco Malfoy to suffer. Of course, the rest of my family did as well, but they had very few morals. They would fight.

"Edward, I know you're angry," Carlisle said at vampire speed, his lips moving in a blur. "I speak for all of us when I say we are angry as well. But fighting Malfoy will not help Bella. If we attack him, Albus will have no choice but to make us leave. We can't be near Bella, let alone help her if we have to leave. Don't do something you'll regret."

"Come on man," Emmett urged. "You already got your shot. You scared the shit out of that thing."

"No lasting damage," I snarled upset. "I want to make sure he remembers."

"Edward," Minerva suggested carefully. "Maybe it would be best if you went back to check on Audra."

I bit my lower lip, holding in a sigh. It was clear that she was trying to convince to do anything but murder a student on Hogwarts grounds even if it meant sending me to watch over the one person she wanted me away from.

"I will, but don't think I'll forget," I threatened before storming from the common room.

Rosalie was sitting on the windowsill next to Bella's bed, stroking her hair with one hand. "Remember on your first birthday Bells?" she whispered. "Remember how surprised you were when you got all those presents? It was such a good day even for us. We were so excited. We never get to meet anyone and you and Edward will be perfect together one day."

"Rose," I acknowledged.

She jumped, startled. "Edward, I didn't hear you come in," she gasped.

"I know," I said, my face still emotionless.

"I'll give you two some time, but you have to leave before the girls wake up," she warned. She slid through the door, closing it behind her.

I sat on the bed, next to Bella. I rested a hand on her cheek, feeling how hot her skin was. I stroked her cheekbone with my thumb. "I'm so sorry Bella," I whispered. I wrapped both my arms around her, holding her as carefully as I could. Subconsciously, I began to hum her lullaby.

A soft sigh escaped her lips. To my utter surprise, she buried her face in my waist, holding onto my wrist. My face split into a broad smile as I watched her sleep.

Edward. You can't be there when she wakes up. Trust me. She needs time to come around. Alice called. You need to leave. Send Rose back in.

I murmured my agreement. I hesitated for a second before leaning forward and lightly pressing my lips to her forehead. "I love you Bella. I'm sorry."

Rose opened the door again, moving back inside. "I'll stay with her Edward, don't worry," she whispered. "I think after all these years of living with both you and Carlisle, I would know something about medicine if anything were to go wrong."

I nodded, feeling at a loss for words before walking slowly out the door.

Okay I know it's a really weird point to leave off at but I had to get this out before Sparky eats me. Sparky, please don't eat me. I like all my limbs attached to my body preferably with no bites out of them. And this is 19 pages on Word so don't complain.

Please review. I think after everything I've been through a few reviews would be nice. And reviews make me happy.

Thanks and sorry again

Sea of Topaz