Disclaimer: As you all know, I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would live in a mansion.
Yo! So, I'm pretty pissed off right now and am just writing cause it's the only thing I can do. I just got my braces tightened and my mouth hurts like hell. Anyway, 2 updates in one day! I expect lots of reviews!
Guest: Chicken Butt has no significance. It's just a joke between me and my friends and I felt like including it.
Another Guest: I am glad you noticed the similarity between the scene last chapter and To be a Slytherin by Morgana Deryn. I asked her for inspiration on it and she let me. You're a genius!
Who Are You What Do You Want: I will consider the Occlumency thing next chapter. It seems interesting.
MilandaAnza: I wasn't originally going to have much Bellatrix interaction but your comment gave me some brainfood, so I might include it. Thanks for inspiration!
The Quibbler article and the fight became the only talk of the school for weeks. Umbridge was so angry at the commotion from the article she put an educational degree up on it.
BY ORDER OF THE HIGH INQUISITOR OF HOGWARTS
Any student found in possession of the magazine The Quibbler will be expelled.
The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-seven.
Signed: Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor
Hermione was wandering the halls with Blaise when she heard a commotion. Quickly she pulled Blaise into a secret corridor behind a tapestry. Zacharias Smith came running in, his blonde hair askew and his eye bruised. An older Puff followed him in with a Gryffindor.
"The hell were you thinking?" snarled the Gryffindor. "Betraying us like that."
"I was doing the right thing." Smith returned, pulling his wand out. Before he could do anything the Puff disarmed him. Smith backed up against a wall, and the Lion advanced. With sickening precision he lunged, snapping Smith's nose and knocking him to the ground. Smith gritted his teeth.
"You shouldn't have betrayed us." said the Puff. "Siding with Death Eaters is no way to go."
"What about House Loyalty." Smith spat.
"Screw that." The Puff replied, waving his hand dismissively. "You betrayed us."
"Fuck you." Smith spat. The Gryffindor lunged at him again, this time snapping a rib. Hermione had had enough. This attack only brought back bad memories from the attack in her first year.
She lunged out of the tapestry, stunning the Gryffindor before he could move. The Hufflepuff shot a hex at her, and Hermione knew she wouldn't be able to dodge it. At the last minute Blaise put up a shield, giving Hermione enough time to stun him. Quickly she bound them, before turning her attention to Smith.
"Here." she said softly, pulling her wand and healing kit out. Some bruise paste and a spell fixed his eye. "Episkey." she murmured, healing his broken nose. She used a cleaning charm to wipe away the blood, before turning to the hard part: his broken rib. "Episkey." she murmured again. She performed a diagnostic charm and saw that the rib had pierced a long.
"Damn." she hissed. "It pierced a lung. I'll have to take you to a bed for a proper healing."
Before she or Blaise could do anything the teachers came in. Dumbledore's eyes scanned the stunned and bound students, the blood around Smith, and the way Hermione was kneeling next to him with her wand out and came to the worst.
"Miss Granger, I am disappointed to find you attacking a student."
Hermione stared at him incredulously before bursting into laughter. "I'm healing him!" she said as she took large gulps of air. "Those bastards," she pointed at the bound students, "attacked him for siding with us in the affair a few weeks ago."
"And just why were you in this corridor?" he asked with narrowed eyes.
"I was talking with Blaise when we heard noise so we hid to see what was going on." she said impatiently.
"50 points to Slytherin Miss Granger." said Umbridge loftily. "And 50 points to Slytherin Mr Zabini. As these two students are of age, I will be taking them to the Ministry for questioning."
"I think that there is more to the case here." Dumbledore stated. He looked like he was about to go on but a ghost interrupted him.
"There is no more to the story." said the Grey Lady as she glided in. "Miss Granger is correct in what she said."
"I don't-" Dumbledore started.
"She's correct!" said the Fat Friar as he bounced in. "We saw it all. Frankly it disappoints me at the low levels those within my own house are willing to fall to. This is most disappointing."
"I too feel that this act was one of cowardice." said the Gryffindor Ghost Sir Nicholas. "Stop questioning this girl when it is clear she is not in the wrong."
Dumbledore glared at the ghosts. Damn them more ruining his plans.
"Mr Zabini, please help me take these idiots down to the Ministry." Professor Snape commanded, levitating one of the boys. Blaise took the other, and Hermione hid a grin as the boy "accidentally' hit the ceiling hard. The continuous thuds followed him down the hall.
"Uh Professor?" Hermione interrupted. "Zachary needs help. He has a pierced lung. Can I go heal him?"
"I can take it from here." Madame Pomfrey bustled in. Zachary recoiled.
"Frankly," he spat, "I don't trust you very much. I would prefer if Hermione did it."
Hermione gave a large grin before levitating him gently down to the common room. When she entered she was greeted with shock. She was levitating a bleeding Hufflepuff into the common room. Astoria Greengrass broke the silence first.
"What the hell happened?" she shrieked.
"Two idiot students, a Puff and Lion, attacked him for betraying what they call the Light Side." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Those two are now being taken to the Ministry, Dumbledore hates us all more, and I'm pretty sure Smith won't be welcome in his common room anymore.
"Zachary." the bleeding boy said faintly. "Call me Zachary."
"Well Zachary," said the Adelaide, "You're officially a Slytherpuff."
Zachary turned out to be a really good person. Though he came off as standoffish, he had a wicked sense of humor and quickly became good friends with Tracy Davis and Millicent Bulstrode. They had transfigured him a bed in the boys dorm after all the Hufflepuffs had kicked him and his belongings out unceremoniously. They had also used charms to turn all his yellow and black robes to silver and green. None of the teachers could undo the charms, and he became a Slytherin in all sense.
Luna had suffered the same treatment in her house and had also been adopted into Slytherin. She had befriended Chastity and Astoria, along with Theo's little brother Quincy. She had never been happier.
Meanwhile, Professor Umbridge was stalking the school, stopping students at random and demanding that they turn out their books and pockets: Hermione knew she was looking for copies of The Quibbler, and everyone found with one was put in detention.
The next few days proved to be good ones. When people were not discussing the escaped Death Eaters in the corridors, they were laughing at Gryffindor's abysmal performance in their match against Hufflepuff; the Slytherins were singing Weasley is our King' so loudly and frequently that by sundown Filch had banned it from the corridors out of sheer irritation.
Hermione's next Potion, the one that cracked open the shields and gave all memories to another was progressing well, but she had several steps to go. It was hard for her to concentrate with Potter groaning in the room during his abysmal Occlumency attempts, and Hermione finally quit. She could work on it during summer. During those sessions she helped Professor Snape with his grading instead.
On one of the sessions where Potter was doing even more abysmal than usual and Professor Snape was yelling at him Hermione heard a scream.
Snape's head jerked upwards; he was gazing at the ceiling.
'What the-?' he muttered.
The screams were coming from the Entrance Hall; they grew louder as Hermione ran towards the stone steps leading up from the dungeons. When she reached the top she found the Entrance Hall packed; students had come flooding out of the Great Hall, where dinner was still in progress, to see what was going on; others had crammed themselves onto the marble staircase. Hermione pushed forward to the group where all Slytherins stood near the very front and saw that the onlookers had formed a great ring, some of them looking shocked, others even frightened. Professor McGonagall was across the Hall; she looked as though what she was watching made her feel faintly sick.
Professor Trelawney was standing in the middle of the Entrance Hall with her wand in one hand and an empty sherry bottle in the other, looking utterly mad. Her hair was sticking up on end, her glasses were lopsided so that one eye was magnified more than the other; her innumerable shawls and scarves were trailing haphazardly from her shoulders, giving the impression that she was falling apart at the seams. Two large trunks lay on the floor beside her, one of them upside-down; it looked very much as though it had been thrown down the stairs after her. Professor Trelawney was staring, apparently terrified, at a person Hermione loathed- the Pink Toad.
'No!' she shrieked. 'NO! This cannot be happening ... it cannot ... I retuse to accept it!'
'You didn't realise this was coming?' said the high girlish voice, sounding callously amused. 'Incapable though you are of predicting even tomorrows weather, you must surely have realised that your pitiful performance during my inspections, and lack of any improvement, would make it inevitable that you would be sacked?'
'You c-can't!' howled Professor Trelawney, tears streaming down her face from behind her enormous lenses, 'you c-can't sack me! I've b-been here sixteen years! H- Hogwarts is m-my h-home!'
Hermione, though she hated the Professor, felt nothing but pity at this moment for the Divination Professor. Umbridge was a monster.
'It was your home,' said Professor Umbridge, and Hermione was revolted to see the enjoyment stretching her toadlike face as she watched Professor Trelawney sink, sobbing uncontrollably, on to one of her trunks, 'until an hour ago, when the Minister for Magic countersigned your Order of Dismissal. Now kindly remove yourself from this Hall. You are embarrassing us.'
But she stood and watched, with an expression of gloating enjoyment, as Professor Trelawney shuddered and moaned, rocking backwards and forwards on her trunk in paroxysms of grief. Hermione saw a few girls from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff crying. Then she heard footsteps. Professor McGonagall had broken away from the spectators, marched straight up to Professor Trelawney and was patting her firmly on the back while withdrawing a large handkerchief from within her robes.
'There, there, Sybill ... calm down ... blow your nose on this ... it's not as bad as you think, now ... you are not going to have to leave Hogwarts ...'
Hermione couldn't believe the sight. Everyone knew that McGonagall thought Divination was a worthless class and Trelawney batty, but here she was comforting the sobbing woman. Umbridge had gone too far.
'Oh really, Professor McGonagall?' said Umbridge in a deadly voice, taking a few steps forward. 'And your authority for that statement is ... ?'
'That would be mine,' said a deep voice.
The oaken front doors had swung open. Students beside them scuttled out of the way as Dumbledore appeared in the entrance. What he had been doing out in the grounds Hermione could not imagine, but she imagined that he had been watching already and gotten ready to make a good impression. His robes were a somber black for once, and he looked impressive on the misty night, though Hermione was loathe to admit it. Leaving the doors wide open behind him he strode forwards through the circle of onlookers towards Professor Trelawney, tear-stained and trembling, on her trunk, Professor McGonagall alongside her.
'Yours, Professor Dumbledore?' said Umbridge, with a singularly unpleasant little laugh. 'I'm afraid you do not understand the position. I have here-' she pulled a parchment scroll from within her robes '-an Order of Dismissal signed by myself and the Minister for Magic. Under the terms of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts has the power to inspect, place upon probation and sack any teacher she-that is to say, I-feel is not performing to the standards required by the Ministry of Magic. I have decided that Professor Trelawney is not up to scratch. I have dismissed her.'
Dumbledore continued to smile, and Hermione knew that he had known this would happen. He had a plan. He looked down at Professor Trelawney, who was still sobbing and choking on her trunk, and said, 'You are quite right, of course, Professor Umbridge. As High Inquisitor you have every right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to send them away from the castle. I am afraid,' he went on, with a courteous little bow, 'that the power to do that still resides with the Headmaster, and it is my wish that Professor Trelawney continue to live at Hogwarts.'
At this, Professor Trelawney gave a wild little laugh in which a hiccough was barely hidden.
'No-no, I'll g -go, Dumbledore! I sh-shall-leave Hogwarts and s-seek my fortune elsewhere-'
'No,' said Dumbledore sharply. 'It is my wish that you remain, Sybill.'
He turned to Professor McGonagall.
'Might I ask you to escort Sybill back upstairs, Professor McGonagall?'
'Of course,' said McGonagall. 'Up you get, Sybill ...'
Professor Sprout came hurrying forwards out of the crowd and grabbed Professor Trelawney's other arm. Together, they guided her past Umbridge and up the marble stairs. Professor Flitwick went scurrying after them, his wand held out before him; he squeaked 'Locomotor trunks!' and Professor Trelawney's luggage rose into the air and proceeded up the staircase after her, Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear.
Professor Umbridge was standing stock still, staring at Dumbledore, who continued to smile benignly.
'And what,' she said, in a whisper that carried all around the Entrance Hall, 'are you going to do with her once I appoint a new Divination teacher who needs her lodgings?'
'Oh, that won't be a problem,' said Dumbledore pleasantly. 'You see, I have already found us a new Divination teacher, and he will prefer lodgings on the ground floor.'
'You've found- ?' said Umbridge shrilly. 'You've found? Might I remind you, Dumbledore, that under Educational Decree Number Twenty-two-'
Hermione thought that Umbitch looked batshit crazy.
'The Ministry has the right to appoint a suitable candidate if-and only if-the Headmaster is unable to find one,' said Dumbledore. 'And I am happy to say that on this occasion I have succeeded. May I introduce you?'
He turned to face the open front doors, through which night mist was now drifting. Hermione heard hooves. There was a shocked murmur around the Hall and those nearest the doors hastily moved even further backwards, some of them tripping over in their haste to clear a path for the newcomer.
Through the mist came a face Hermione recognized as that of a young centaur: white-blond hair and astonishingly blue eyes; the head and torso of a man joined to the palomino body of a horse.
'This is Firenze,' said Dumbledore happily to a thunderstruck Umbridge. 'I think you'll find him suitable.'
Hermione could have laughed at the expression on her face; everyone knew her fear and loathing of half-breeds.
"I may hate Dumbledore, but what he did to Umbridge was amazing." Draco laughed in the common room.
"She will want revenge." said Zachary, who was perched on a couch as the whole room split into small discussions about the events. "She will get her revenge on Dumbledore for appointing a new teacher without consulting her. You saw the look on her face when she saw Firenze."
"Where's the new Divination classroom?" Hermione asked.
"Classroom Eleven on the ground floor so Firenze can reach it." said Blaise. "Want to come check it out before classes start?"
"Sure." Hermione grinned. She, Blaise, Draco, Daphne, and Zachary, who was in Ancient Runes with Hermione, went down there. The classroom made Hermione gape.
The classroom floor had become springily mossy and trees were growing out of it; their leafy branches fanned across the ceiling and windows, so that the room was full of slanting shafts of soft, dappled, green light. Hermione saw that people could rest against tree trunks or boulders. In the middle of the clearing, where there were no trees, stood a place where Hermione assumed Firenze would stand.
"Well," Hermione said, looking around, "You can't say that class won't be interesting now."
"It was so unique." said Draco after he met up with Hermione and Zachary after class. "We burnt sage and mallowsweet in the class while looking for shapes in the smoke."
"Sounds impractical." said Zach crisply. "We're working on destructive runes right now."
"I blew a desk up." Hermione smirked.
"You blew a desk up?" Theo asked with a dash of awe in his voice.
"BOOM!" Hermione said, making a blow up symbol with her hands. "Burnt it to crisp, and got full credit for it."
"I wish I was there." he mumbled.
As a dull March blurred into a squally April, Hermione's life became concentrated on work again. Umbridge had continued attending all Care of Magical Creatures lessons. Meanwhile, as the teachers and Hermione persisted in reminding them, the OWLs were drawing ever nearer. All the fifth-years were suffering from stress to some degree, but Hannah Abbott became the first to receive a Calming Draught from Madam Pomfrey after she burst into tears during Herbology and sobbed that she was too stupid to take exams and wanted to leave school now.
They had laughed about it in private. Zach told them that she always panicked like this but ended up doing well. He and Tracy were now dating, and the two had never been happier.
The SM was doing amazing. They had gone so far nearly everyone was a year or more ahead of their level. They had decided to take a break from battle work and move onto Patronuses, which Hermione had been eager to do. She had taught the lesson, and demonstrated her phoenix.
"They're beautiful!" Hestia giggled as her panda lumbered around the room with Flora's identical panda. Chastity was playing with her shark, and Luna turned out to have a Nargle for her patronus. They were small creatures that reminded Hermione of the Cheshire Cat, but with wings. Draco had a dragon, and Daphne had an elegant raven soaring the room.
Suddenly an alarm sounded the room. It was set to tell them when Umbridge was approaching. Quickly all the Patronuses dissipated and they all set down to reading.
"Hello!" she said in her sickly sweet voice. "I needed some help from faithful student such as yourselves in catching some troublemakers who have violated one of my educational degrees. Would anyone like to come?"
With a small nod Draco, Vince, and Greg stepped forward. Pansy, Zachary, Millicent, Tracy, Will, and Stephen Gamp joined them.
"Good!" she said with a small clap. When they came back an hour later they were all grinning like loons.
"Potter was holding something like the SM but he called it the DA. Dumbledore's Army." Draco grinned.
"They're all in trouble, and Potter was taken to Dumbledore's office." Will grinned.
"All of us were also invited to join the Inquisitorial Squad. We basically are allowed to take and give points like we want, and give detentions."
"Slytherins rule." Pansy smirked.
"Do you know who was in the office?" Daphne asked.
"Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister Fudge, Junior Assistant to the Minister Percy Weasley, Auror Dawlish, and the traitor Marietta Edgecombe." said Luna serenely. "The Nargles told me."
They all stared at her. She stared back.
BY ORDER OF THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC
Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-eight.
Signed: Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister for Magic
The notices had gone up all around the school overnight, but they did not explain how every single person within the castle seemed to know that Dumbledore had overcome two Aurors, the High Inquisitor, the Minister for Magic and his Junior Assistant to escape. No matter where Hermione went within the castle, the sole topic of conversation was Dumbledore's flight, and though some of the details may have gone awry in the retelling (Harry overheard one second-year girl assuring another that Fudge was now lying in St. Mungo's with a pumpkin for a head) it was surprising how accurate the rest of their information was. Lucius Malfoy had gotten the entire story from Fudge and sent the details to Draco, who told the rest of Slytherin. Everybody knew, for instance, that Potter and Edgecombe were the only students to have witnessed the scene in Dumbledore's office and. Edgecombe was now in the Hospital wing because Moon had hexed her for tattling to the teachers.
"The Bloody Baron told me that Umbridge couldn't get into the Headmaster's office." Pansy told them.
As they walked around, they heard The Weasley's, Potter, and MacMillan in converation.
'Oh, I expect she really fancied herself sitting up there in the Head's office,' said Ginny Weasley was saying viciously. 'Lording it over all the other teachers, the stupid puffed-up, power-crazy old-'
'Now, do you really want to finish that sentence, Weasley?'
Draco, Hermione, Vince, Greg, Blaise, Luna, Pansy, and Daphne came out from where they were.
'Afraid I'm going to have to dock a few points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff,' Draco drawled.
'It's only teachers who can dock points from houses, Malfoy,' said MacMillan at once.
'Yeah, we're prefects, too, remember?' snarled Weasley.
'I know prefects can't dock points, Weasel King,' sneered Draco. Vince and Greg sniggered. 'But members of the Inquisitorial Squad-'
'The what?' said Weaselette sharply.
'The Inquisitorial Squad, Granger,' said Malfoy, pointing towards a tiny silver 'I' on his robes just beneath his prefect's badge. 'A select group of students who are supportive of the Ministry of Magic, hand-picked by Professor Umbridge. Anyway, members of the Inquisitorial Squad do have the power to dock points ... so, Weasley, I'll have five from you for being rude about our new Headmistress. Macmillan, five for contradicting me. Five because I don't like you, Potter. Weasley, your shirt's untucked, so I'll have another five for that. Oh yeah, I forgot, you're a Blood Traitor, Weaselette, so ten off for that.'
"But 5 points to the Weaslette for insulting the Pink Toad." Pansy smirked viciously.
"Guys!" Gemma Farley told the room as a whole back after dinner. "Abraham Montague is missing! Last he was seen taking points off the Weasley Twins before they stuffed him into a cabinet!"
Hermione swore viciously. "Have you told the teachers?"
"His parents have already been called and people are looking for him." she said.
"She's gone too far." said Draco as he entered the room. No one had any doubts about who he was talking about. "She's having us read all mail in the castle now too. Everyone be careful."
Hermione couldn't believe it. That was a violation of privacy!
"That's outrageous." Daphne voiced what they were all thinking.
"Don't touch any of the mail." Hermione said sharply. "Especially Slytherin mail. Only do it when Umbitch is watching. Even then only look at people like Potter and Weasley."
"I have to tell father." said Theo determinedly.
"Then Umbridge won't trust us." said Adelaide. "We need to wait until the year is over, then destroy her."
BOOM!
Hermione heard a loud noise and ran downstairs to see what the bloody hell was going on. People were running and screaming.
Pandemonium reigned. Somebody (and Hermione had a very shrewd idea who) had set off what seemed to be an enormous crate of enchanted fireworks.
Dragons comprised entirely of green and gold sparks were soaring up and down the corridors, emitting loud fiery blasts and bangs as they went; shocking-pink Catherine wheels five feet in diameter were whizzing lethally through the air like so many flying saucers; rockets with long tails of brilliant silver stars were ricocheting off the walls; sparklers were writing swear words in midair of their own accord; firecrackers were exploding like mines everywhere Hermione looked, and instead of burning themselves out, fading from sight or fizzling to a halt, these pyrotechnical miracles seemed to be gaining in energy and momentum the longer he watched.
Filch and Umbridge were standing, apparently transfixed in horror, halfway down the stairs. As Hermione watched, one of the larger Catherine wheels seemed to decide that what it needed was more room to manoeuvre; it whirled towards Umbridge and Filch with a sinister 'wheeeeeeeeee'. They both yelled with fright and ducked, and it soared straight out of the window behind them and off across the grounds. Meanwhile, several of the dragons and a large purple bat that was smoking ominously took advantage of the open door at the end of the corridor to escape towards the second floor.
'Hurry, Filch, hurry!' shrieked Umbridge, 'they'll be all over the school unless we do something-Stupefy!'
A jet of red light shot out of the end of her wand and hit one of the rockets. Instead of freezing in midair, it exploded with such force that it blasted a hole in a painting of a soppy-looking witch in the middle of a meadow; she ran for it just in time, reappearing seconds later squashed into the next painting, where a couple of wizards playing cards stood up hastily to make room for her.
'Don't Stun them, Filch!' shouted Umbridge angrily, for all the world as though it had been his incantation.
'Right you are, Headmistress!' wheezed Filch, who as a Squib could no more have Stunned the fireworks than swallowed them. He dashed to a nearby cupboard, pulled out a broom and began swatting at the fireworks in midair; within seconds the head of the broom was ablaze. Hermione was barely controlling her laughter.
She saw Potter slip into a tapestry, and followed him. Hearing a little conversation she slipped in. The Weasley Twins and Potter looked at her in shock. She smirked.
"I may hate you, but if you're selling those I'll take three. 20 points to Gryffindor." and with that she ducked out, leaving some very confused boys. Lucky for her Draco had used a little magic to give her the right to take and give points too.
The fireworks continued to burn and to spread all over the school that afternoon. Though they caused plenty of disruption, particularly the firecrackers, the other teachers didn't seem to mind them very much.
'Dear, dear,' said Professor McGonagall sardonically, as one of the dragons soared around her classroom, emitting loud bangs and exhaling flame. 'Miss Davis, would you mind running along to the Headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?'
The upshot of it all was that Professor Umbridge spent her first afternoon as Headmistress running all over the school answering the summonses of the other teachers, none of whom seemed able to rid their rooms of the fireworks without her. When the final bell rang and they were heading back to Slytherin Dungeon with their bags, Hermione saw, with immense satisfaction, a dishevelled and soot-blackened Umbridge tottering sweaty-faced from Professor Flitwick's classroom.
'Thank you so much, Professor!' said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. 'I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether or not I had the authority.'
Beaming, he closed his classroom door in her snarling face. Hermione just laughed.
