TTGLX: Brothers to the End.
Omake Issue XIII: Gold at the End of the Rainbow.
A/N: Hello and welcome to omake 13 - unlucky for everyone! This chapter is based upon narutofan020's idea and is absolutely crazy so hope the randomness doesn't rot too many brains. Read, enjoy, review!
- FWF
000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000
Kamina and Kittan stumbled through the streets of the Seireitri laughing loudly as they chugged back several bottles of sake. They staggered from one side to the other drunkenly, the other citizens steering well clear of the duo.
Their merriment was cut short as a blur of a figure barrelled into them like a speeding truck. Both men hit the ground, pinned by a pink haired devil.
"Pointy-shades! Banana-boy! How are you both?" squealed Yachiru, the troublesome lieutenant of the Eleventh Division and adopted daughter of its captain Kenpachi Zaraki.
"We were fine until you decided to missile glomp us, ya damn pest." grunted Kittan as he lifted the girl off of them with one arm. "Whadda ya want anyway? Devious little punks like you don't approach people unless they're after something."
Kamina stood and looked around, ignoring the girl. "Where is old man Zaraki anyway? You never stray far from him."
Yachiru placed her arms behind her back and put on her sweetest face. "Now that you mention it… Kenny got in another fight and demolished our barracks but that mean stupid face Head Captain whitetard won't give us anymore funds to fix it. He says that he's already paid to rebuild it three times this year."
"And this effects us how?"
"We need help to get some money!" she chirped happily.
"So you want us to enter another fight tournament?" asked Kamina.
"Nope."
"Odd jobs?"
Yachiru shook her head.
"Bank heist?" inquired Kittan passively. Yachiru considered this but then shook her head again.
"No. I want you to help me find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! That should cover our costs." the girl grinned.
Kamina and Kittan just stared at each other. "What?" they muttered simultaneously.
"Everyone knows about the treasure so it must be true."
Kittan snorted. "Nobody has ever found this treasure. Science dictates that a rainbow doesn't even have an end as it is a ring of light."
"You guy can hardly use science as evidence as you have shattered basically every law of physics. Plus its in your motto to kick logic to the curb and do the impossible." Yachiru pointed out.
"She has a point." shrugged Kamina. A massive grin split his face. "Hell, if anybody in the omniverse can find it, it would be us. After all, if it works the same as everything else we've ever done then as long as we believe it exists then it will."
"Yeah!" cheered Yachiru enthusiastically.
Kittan still looked sceptical. "But don't we need a rainbow first. It hasn't rained in weeks."
"Leave it to me!" announced Kamina confidently. Without warning he opened fire upon the clouds with a hail of cero blasts. The fluffy white mounds began to froth and boil, darkening and spreading like a disease across the sky. Within seconds they burst and started to spill their load across the Seireitei in a torrent of rain. A few blasts more and the clouds dispersed to reveal the sun. as if on cue a rainbow began to form in the wake of the clouds.
Yachiru took off at a run. "Come on! We don't have much time until it will disappear! Hurry up slow pokes!"
So off they went, storming through the streets toward the end of the rainbow. Yachiru sat upon Kittan's shoulders, kicking him repeatedly in the ribs to encourage him to greater feats of speed.
It took them a while, but eventually the ark of the rainbow descended to just beyond the next hill. They crested the mound and came to a halt. Just in front of them, defying all scientific conventions, the rainbow rose up out of the ground and arched high up into the sky. Beneath the rainbow sat a large black cauldron filled with sparkling gold.
"It worked! It really worked!" laughed Kittan. He threw Yachiru off of his shoulders and charged toward the gold, only to be dropkicked by a green blur.
Kamina and Yachiru caught up and stood face to face with the assailant. It was a small man with dark brown skin, green clothes, a bald head and an orange beard. A green top hat sat neatly upon his head.
"Who the hell are you?" Kamina asked as he helped Kittan back to his feet.
"Me? Who am I? I'm Samuel L Jackson, you blue haired bitch!" shouted the strange man.
Tumbleweed drifted past as silence filled their surroundings. "The green clothes, orange beard and abundance of clovers while guarding gold at the end of the rainbow suggests otherwise." stated Kamina dryly.
The man took a threatening step forward. "The L stands for motherfecking leprechaun. I'm not about to let you punks touch my gold so run the feck away and go cry to your mommies."
Kamina's eye began to twitch. "That's it! You have pissed off the mighty Kamina! For such a heinous crime I'm gonna kick the crap outta you!"
"Oh yeah? Let's see you try. Avengers assemble!" roared Jackson.
Out of nowhere six figures exploded onto the scene. The one at the front wore shining red and gold armour that looked to be some kind of exo-battle armour. To his right was a tall, well built man with flowing blonde hair and a cape. In his hands was a sweet looking hammer. On the other side was another tall man, this time in a blue skin-tight suit with a large red, white and blue shield. On the far right was a handsome man with a bow while to the left was a gun wielding woman in formfitting leather. Covering the group's six was a giant bulk of a man with unhealthy looking green skin.
Kittan drew his sword and glowered at the men. "So, you freaks want a fight do you?"
Yachiru giggled. "You guys look silly. You're no super team. Watch and learn." She placed her fingers in her mouth and whistled, the sound splitting the air for miles. At first nothing happened but soon a slight rumbling shook the ground. Very quickly this evolved into a near earthquake as a cloud of dust rose on the horizon. Creating this dust storm was a figure running at high speed toward them.
Kenpachi skidded to a halt at Yachiru's side. "I was wondering where you'd gotten off to. Whadda you want?"
"Kenny, these mean men are threatening me. Show 'em who's boss." she yipped.
Kenpachi examined the men lazily. "They don't look worth fighting." he grunted.
The man in the metal looked offended at that statement. He held out his arm. "Tank missile!" A dart shot from his wrist and hit the captain. A fiery explosion ensued. "Now who is unworthy of fighting?"
The flames cleared and Kenpachi was stood in the same position as before. He snorted then exhaled, his breath coming out in smoke rings. "This might be fun after all." he grinned as he leapt upon the group.
Kamina offered the leprechaun a cocky smirk. "Well those guys won't be bothering us again. That leaves only you."
"Get ready to feel the force motherfecker! The force of my foot up your ass!" Samuel Leprechaun Jackson powered forward and kicked out but Kamina dodged then countered with a punch. It wasn't his style to fight an unarmed opponent with his zanpakuto.
"Tough little prick, aren't you?" taunted Jackson again. "We'll see how tough you are when I cock-slap you with my snake!"
Kamina had his sword drawn in an instant. "You even think about it and I'll cut it off and shove it down your throat you bastard!"
Jackson reached into his trousers and pulled out a metal shaft. To Kamina's relief, it was only a light sabre. The weapon flared into life but instead of a focussed laser blade, a large snake sprung out hissing. Before Kamina could process this, Jackson had swung the weapon and slapped Kamina sharply across the cheek with the serpent.
"You didn't." growled Kamina menacingly.
"Oh I did."
"I'll kill you! My sword will cut you into ribbons that I will wrap around a maypole then shove said maypole up your ass!" Kamina raged.
The two men rushed at each other like charging bulls but a sudden pumping click caused Jackson to skid to a stop. He turned his head slightly to see Kittan stood behind him, his shikai shotgun levelled at the leprechaun's head. The shinigami waved pleasantly.
"Son of a b-"
Kittan pulled the trigger and reduced Samuel Leprechaun Jackson to a stain on the ground.
Meanwhile, Kenpachi's fight was nearly over too. The woman and archer were out at the start line, Kenpachi's overpowering spiritual pressure too much for the unaltered humans to deal with. The well built man with the cape had his hammer lodged down his throat while Mr blue suit was currently wearing his shield as a neck collar. The green monster was sprawled out at the bottom of a crater groaning loudly. Only the metal suited man remained.
The man tried to fly away but Kenpachi flash-stepped above him only to slam him back down to earth. Before the man could recover, Kenpachi drove his hand into the armoured chest and pulled out a glowing cylinder that looked like an elongated LCD light. The man began to spasm.
"Was that important? Poor you." sneered the giant captain before throwing the core over his shoulder. It arced through the air then hit the green muscle freak on the head with a sharp thud.
The shinigami gathered around the pot of gold. Eyes sparkling, they admired the treasure like children in a candy shop. Each of them marvelled at the wonders they could buy.
Kamina turned his attention away from the gold and toward their fallen foes. "What do we do with these bozos. We can't just leave them here."
Yachiru skipped over to the battered warriors. "I know what to do. Leave it to me!" she drew her zanpakuto and pointed it at the collection of moaning bodies. "Sparkle, NyanNyan!"
Her sword began to spew rainbows that streamed out and hit the six Avengers. Their bodies were covered head to toe in the swirling rainbow until the light faded. Were six humans had lain, now only six furry kittens remained. Each bore the features of the original Avenger, only with four legs, paws, cat ears and tail.
"They're sooo cute!" squealed Yachiru as she ran up to them and gathered each into her arms. "They'll make such good additions to my collection."
000 000 000 000 000
A/N: Sad news everyone. I'm afraid that this is the last omake of 'Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann: Brothers to the End'. The remaining few chapters will all run into each other as the final climax of the story plays out so any interruptions would just disrupt the flow. Also I (hopefully) start university in September so I don't know what my schedule will be like. For the first month at least I will need to adjust my time and find when I can best get to writing. Hopefully Brothers to the End will be finished before then.
Hope you enjoyed the omake. Please leave a review.
- FWF
