Hello again readers! So happy to post another chapter for you!
This one is long and took alot of thought.
I hope you enjoy it.
Like always, thank you to my wonderful beta dontcare89!
I cannot concentrate. To pass the time I've tried watching the news, taking a bath, calling Kate just to chat, and I even looking up wedding ideas online. I started to google things about pregnancy but slammed the laptop shut. When I look back at the clock, it is only just after 6 and Christian will be home any minute. I turn on the tv and wait patiently on the couch for the elevator to ring.
After a few minutes, thankfully, because there was nothing on TV, the doors open. I can't help but smile every time I lay my eyes on him. I get up from the couch and run to him. His briefcase drops with a loud clunk on the floor just in time for him to catch me. He embraces me tightly, washing away all my worries.
"I've missed you," I sigh into his ear.
"I can tell," he chuckles. "I missed you, too." I pull away but hold his head in my hands.
"How was the rest of your work day?" I smile at him.
"Not nearly as exciting as your visit." He smirks at me as his glorious eyes light up with the memory of our quickie in his office. "I have a surprise for you."
"Oh?" I tilt my head at him. Can't be nearly as surprising as what I'm going to have to tell him.
"I have a business meeting I need to attend and I want you to come with me." My hands drop from his face and I arch an eyebrow at him. How is that a surprise?
"Ohhhh?" This 'oh' more defined than the last one.
"It's in Paris," he reveals with a grin. My eyes widen. I have never been to Paris before; only through the eyes of characters in books.
"Paris! We are really going to Paris?"
"Yes, baby. We have to leave tonight in order to make it there on time." He glances down at his watch. I back away from him.
"That doesn't leave much time to pack." I tilt my head and place my hands on my hips.
"Don't worry about that. I have it all taken care of." I resist the urge to roll my eyes. Of course he had it all taken care of; he plans ahead like he sees the future. "I look forward to taking you away… again," he chuckles.
"How long are we going for?"
"We will be there for a few days. Don't worry, we can always go back. We have all the time in the world together." He reaches up and caresses my cheek. I smile into his hand and kiss his palm,holding his hand in place with mine. I look at him and all I can feel is love. I can't believe I get to marry this man. I involuntarily let out a hard yawn when I'm suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of exhaustion. "I need to shower and change, you have time to take a nap. I will wake you up when we need to leave."
He leans down and kisses my free cheek then leaves me standing in the foyer, alone. I wait till he is in the bedroom before I look down and caress my stomach.
"Looks like we are going to Paris, baby," I whisper. I turn and make my way to the bed for a nap. I am so tired I don't even remember lying down before everything goes black.
We arrive at his private jet just after 9 PM. This one is much larger than the last one we were on. I quickly glance at him with the idea he owns more than one.
"Is this one yours too?" As if the giant 'G' in the side didn't make it obvious.
He nods his head at me. Once aboard, I marvel at the fine detail of the interior. Dark wood encases the floor and walls with lush tan, leather seats, embroidered with large, gold 'G''s. When I get to a seat, I run my fingers over the fine letters, thinking one day the 'G' will represent me as well.
"Come sit, baby, we need to take off." He places his hand along my back and leads me to a seat. He doesn't waste time making sure my buckle is tight and secure. "I will be right back. Just need to give strict instructions to the pilots about an upcoming storm." He smiles at me and leaves the cabin towards the front. He is back in only a minute with a disappointed look on his face.
"What's wrong?" I ask as he sits down and buckles in next to me.
"Looks like we will have to fly through it." He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair. He looks over at me and places his hand on my lap, cupping both my hands in his. I lean my head on his shoulder and close my eyes as the engines roar to life. He kisses the top of my head.
My mind quickly flicks to the secret I am holding in and how I just want to blurt it out. I keep thinking maybe this flight is the perfect time. He can't run or hide from me. I also need to keep reminding myself that I didn't do this on my own: he clearly knew the consequences of us being reckless and spontaneous. I look up at him through my eyelashes. He is looking out the window, his chin in his one hand. He looks so distant and deep in thought that his face is hard as stone. His eyes break from the window when he looks down at me and smiles.
"What?" he chuckles.
"Nothing. Just admiring how handsome you look when you are deep in thought." I smile at him.
"Well, Miss Steele, I plan to be deep in something soon." His response startles me but also makes me whole face turn red. I break eye contact and look down. I try to hide my reaction but his chuckle lets me know he's clearly seen it. Suddenly, my whole gut turns with desire and I want to jump from my seat and onto his lap at this second. I resist the urge since we are still in seatbelt mode.
"How many planes do you have?" I ask to help myself calm down as I look around the cabin.
"Including this one; three." I look back at him in awe.
"Who needs three private jets?" He shrugs his shoulders at me.
"Me." His eyes say it all. This man has everything he could want and more. He has more than he will ever need yet his disregard for money still startles me.
The attendant tells us we are safe to take our seat belts off. She is a tall blonde, very pretty and well put together, down to her perfectly manicured fingernails. She sets down two glasses of wine in front of us and proceeds to the front of the plane.
I go to grab the glass but stop halfway and retract my hand. Christian already gulped down about half his glass and then looks at mine.
"Why didn't you touch your wine?" He gives me a worried look.
"I... uhh..." I look down at my hands and back up at him. "Don't feel well. It must be the flying." He finishes his glass and then eyes me curiously. He stands up and takes off his outer jacket so he is in just his white dress shirt. He reaches out for me to take his hand.
"I'm dying to break in this new plane." My cheeks redden again and my eyes find the ground as I stand and take his hand. His fingers grab my chin and make me look at him. "You blush so easily," he laughs.
Without warning the plane hits a pocket of turbulence and I stumble into his arms. He stays firmly planted in place. I hate how weak my body has suddenly become. He scoops me into his arms and I let out a little squeal. He carries me through the cabin and down a wide hallway. As we pass doors, I see a small room with a table and chairs surrounding it. Business room, perhaps. We pass a bathroom and a small room. He sets me on my feet in front of double doors that he slides open to reveal the master bedroom. I walk in and examine the interior. Inside sits a large, California king bed with cream bedding. The large, gold 'G''s embroidered on the comforter and shams match the leather chairs in the cabin. Everything is pristine and I would expect nothing less from him.
"Did you pick everything out?" I ask and look back at him. He is leaning against the now closed doors with one leg crossed in front of the other as he unbuttons his cuffs slowly.
"I design everything I own." He tilts his head. "Do you see something you want to change?"
"Not at all. It's beautiful." I look over at a wooden desk and the frosted glass doors leading to what I guess is the master bath.
"I think we should talk about something." I look back over to him. He is unbuttoning his shirt now and I lose my train of thought for a second.
"It can wait. Right now all I want to do is get my hands on you." He closes the space between us in three steps and wraps his arms tightly around me. His lips press against mine with need and want. I push any thoughts I'm having to the very back of my mind and escape into this feeling.
He backs me up to the bed till the back of my thighs hit it. It's too high off the ground for me to lean back. Christian reaches down and grabs the back of my legs and lifts me so I can hook my ankles behind him. He never breaks our kiss as he slowly lowers me onto the bed. It's so soft that it feels like I'm laying on a cloud; ironic.
I let myself get lost in his touch, his smell, his tenderness, and affection. I forget all our troubles and worries and just focus on what it feels like to be with him. We embrace each other for what seems like a lifetime, slowly allowing our bodies to come together. I don't think I will ever get tired of this. He makes me feel so alive every time we are together this way and I'm glad he will be the only man I ever let show me this.
I waken to Christian opening a window shade. The bright blue sky shines through, hurting my eyes slightly.
"We are here," he says. He is already dressed and this puts an instant pout on my face.
"How long have I been sleeping?" I ask as I sit-up in bed. I am still naked and the blanket falls from my breasts and Christian's eyes glance over my body and then back to my eyes.
"Nearly nine hours," he says and walks over to sit on the edge of the bed. He places his hand on my forehead, reminding me of when I was a small child trying to stay home from school and my mom would do the forehead check. "Are you feeling okay?" His eyes narrow slightly.
"Mm..." I stretch my arms above my head. "Yeah. Just really tired lately." I can tell he is having trouble believing my answer.
"You slept through the storm. I thought it would have woken anyone up given the turbulence."
"Oh. I didn't feel a thing."
"I can see that. Get dressed... we will be landing soon and I need you buckled in the cabin." He gets up and leaves me in the room alone. I swing out of the bed and go to the bathroom to relieve myself. As soon as my feet hit the tile I feel a sudden bout of nausea overcome me. I make it to the toilet just in time to dry heave a few times. I have nothing in my stomach to throw up. My esophagus already burns from forcing the acid up.
I take a few seconds to breathe deeply in through my nose and out my mouth to clear my head. Once that passes, I get up and brush my teeth, run my fingers through my hair, and quickly dress. I choose a pair of dark blue jeans, a black off-the-shoulder top, and black flats. I throw my hair up in a loose twist around knot and apply some mascara. I try my best to not look so tired but in the mirror I stare at the bags under my eyes. I know my body is lacking nutrition; I can feel it. I feel it in every weak movement I make and I feel it deep in my bones. I decide when I get the chance I have to call Grace and try to figure out a way to keep food down. I have definitely lost some weight as my jeans are slightly loose.
A knock comes on the bathroom door. "Ana, you must come sit." I look at my image for a split second longer and turn to open the frosted glass doors.
"I'm coming." I give him a weak smile. He reaches up and his thumb traces the dark blue shadow under my eye. He lets out a deep sigh. "Come." He takes my hand and we head for the cabin.
Our hotel room takes up the whole top floor of the hotel. The balcony leads to an eye opening view of the Eiffel Tower. The sun is just setting over the buildings, covering the horizon. The city is lit in an orange glow that reflects off the buildings' windows. I stand there and watch the sky slowly turn from orange to a dark red. It all simply takes my breath away. The smell of the city is so different from home. It smells like fresh flowers and baked goods. I look back over my shoulder through the glass and watch Christian pace the apartment on his phone. I turn my attention back to the setting sun. The tower sparkles with lights that are too dim yet to see their full beauty.
It's more beautiful than any book could have described and any picture could show. I hear the sliding glass door open behind me but don't turn, I just close my eyes and wait for his touch. His arms wrap around me waist and his nose nuzzles in the crook of my neck. His hands lay cupped together in front of my stomach and for a second I picture what it will be like when I have a swollen belly and his hands on it. Caressing our baby and enjoying this new life we are bringing into the world together. I squirm out of his hands and turn to look at him.
He looks puzzled for a second. "Is it everything you thought it would be?" he asks, glancing behind me and then back.
"It's more than what I expected. I want to explore it all." I smile at him. "Who was on the phone?" He frowns. I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it but I need to make small talk.
"A doctor taking care of Elena. She is not showing any signs of improvement but her husband won't pull the plug on her life support. He still holds hope." He shrugs.
"Would you?"
"Would I what? Take her off life support? Yes."
"I mean for me, would you?" I ask. We never had this talk and honestly it's the last thing I want to talk about. Elena is so far in the back of my mind I have simply wanted to act like she doesn't exist.
"Anastasia." He frowns and pulls me into his arms tightly. "I would never give up hope," he whispers into my ear quietly and gives me another squeeze. I smile slightly, knowing he would do everything in his power if something happened to me, as I would for him.. He pulls away. "Let's eat. You haven't eaten anything all day."
I suddenly realize how hungry I truly am.
"Can we just eat in tonight, though? I'm still not feeling too well."
"Anything you want." He takes my hand and we go inside. The penthouse has multiple rooms that I will never get to see. It's bigger than Escala and all the gold finishes around the walls and small knick knacks makes me slightly uncomfortable as I am still not used to this lifestyle.
I convince him to let us eat together on the couch in front of the fireplace, snuggled together, watching the flames dance. It reminds me of eating with Kate; we were never too keen on using a table. After we finish dinner he turns to me and stares.
"What?" I ask after taking a sip of my sparkling water.
"You seem different." When he says this my stomach suddenly drops.
"Different how?" I ask.
"I can't explain it. You just seem more quiet than usual." I have a hard time keeping eye contact with him so I look down at my glass and run my fingers along the rim.
"Well someone tried killing me and I guess I have a lot going on in my mind lately." I look up at him.
"You know nothing will ever come between us. No one can hurt you in any way. I simply won't allow it." He takes my hand.
"I know, Christian. I just..." I look for the right words. "Feel overwhelmed."
"Is it the wedding?" He looks sad suddenly.
"No, oh, no. I want to marry you this fall. I have even been looking at stuff online. I just have a lot to think about and to plan. That's probably why I am so distracted." He raises an eyebrow at me.
"Anything I can do to help?" he questions.
"Just show up." I giggle, feeling light all of the sudden.
"Oh, Miss. Steele. Nothing will stop me from being there." He takes the glass out of my hand and sets it on the table. He grabs along the nape of my neck and pulls my lips to his. The taste of sweet red wine lines his lips and tongue. I close my eyes and take in his passionate kiss. He lowers me to the couch till he is on top of me. He breaks from the kiss too soon and looks down at me.
"Maybe getting a wedding planner would help." I smirk.
"I thought you would never ask. Taking on a task that size would be quite an accomplishment. I will call George in the morning. He is the top wedding planner is the world right now.."
"How would you know that?" I cock my head to the side, though I am not surprised that he has that useless information in his head.
"Just waiting for you to ask, that's all." He leans down and deepens his kiss.
I slowly open my eyes to the soft glow of the sun coming through the deep blue curtains. I sit straight up in bed, confused on where I am. It takes a second to click that I am in Paris with Christian and not home at Escala. I slowly lay back down and roll over on my side to find a neatly-written note on Christian's pillow, along with a white rose. I grab them and roll onto my back so I can hold the paper above my head to read.
'I have a meeting this morning. I didn't want to wake you since you looked so beautiful as you slept. Will be home soon. Laters, baby.' I smile, dropping the note to my chest. I bring the rose up to my nose. It smells wonderful and fresh like the city down below. The petals' soft texture against my skin is soothing. I decide it's useless to get up now, so instead I lie there for a few minutes before dozing back off to sleep.
When I finally open my eyes, it's past ten and Christian is still not home from his meeting yet. I finally have a morning where I don't feel like vomiting the moment my feet hit the floor. I take a shower and embrace the feeling of normalcy again. When I get out, I dress in a dark blue, spaghetti-strapped sundress that was packed in my luggage. I pair it with matching flats and leave my hair down in loose curls over my shoulders and down my back. I look in the mirror to observe my outfit but I can't help but trail my eyes down to my stomach. Currently, I still look normal, but soon there will be something there that wasn't before and the thought scares me.
I hear the penthouse door open and I make my way to the living room to see Christian and Taylor walk in. His eyes search for me instantly and when they meet, he smiles from ear to ear. I'm standing in the doorway of our room, waiting for him to come to me. He slowly cocks his head to the side in thought. He walks over to me in his crisp dark blue suit that matches the dress I decided on. When he gets to me I take his hand and pull him into the room shutting the door behind him. I grab his face and kiss him harder than I have in a long while. His soft lips molding against mine with his hands wrapped around my back, pulling me flush against his body. I break away from our kiss, trying to take in as much air as I can.
"Hi," He pants, trying to catch his breath as well.
"Hi." I smile at him.
"You seem much better today." His smile back makes my knees weak. I smile wider.
"I feel better."
"How about we go explore a little. I have time before my next meeting." He brushes a piece of hair from my face that has fallen forward.
"I would like that." I give him another swift kiss and proceed to leave the room.
We leave the penthouse hand in hand with Taylor and Sawyer in front of us. I don't feel like we need security here and that it almost draws more attention to us in a place where no one knows who we are.
I peek up at Christian and the thought dawns on me that no matter where we go that his looks will always attract unwanted attention. He looks down at me and I feel almost embarrassed that he caught me gawking at him. I wonder if that will ever fade: my fascination with how incredibly handsome he is and how he doesn't even flaunt it.
"Where would you like to go first?" He smiles at me.
"I have never been here before. I am sure you know some good spots to sightsee." I break eye contact and stare forward. My immature mind thinks of who he could have came with before. Maybe he brought a sub with him or even Elena. I tuck some hair behind my ear and try to hide my face.
The next few hours we do many things that I have only dreamed of doing. Walking down the streets of Paris with Christian made me forget everything that has happened in the past few weeks.
We decide to take a stroll in a nearby park. The trees sway in the light warm breeze.
"It's really beautiful here." I gaze up at him.
"It is indeed. We can come here whenever you'd like." His smile warms my heart.
"Hmm." I just hum through my lips. I take the time to look around at all the people walking past us. Some turn their head at Christian but most just keep on their going. Paris is filled with beautiful people. He fits in here.
"Are you ready to grab an early dinner? I have to be at my next meeting soon," he laments. I don't want to leave the park we are in. It's peaceful and elegant; nothing like the public parks back home.
"Sure," I say not even looking up at him. I keep looking at the trees and listening to the birds sing. I wrap my arm around his arm and lay my head against his shoulder. He kisses the top of my head as we make our way back to the car.
We reach an adorable restaurant that has beautiful views of the Eiffel Tower. The hostess leads us to a quiet section of the balcony outside on the top floor. It's very private and away from the crowded inside area. I glance around the city, examining the beauty that surrounds us.
"It's wonderful," I say to Christian as we sit down.
"It is, isn't it?" He responds and looks out at the city as well. I can't help but stare at Christian and smile. Today has been perfect with him; getting to see parts of Paris with him that I have only read about. He looks at me and I feel the blood rise to my cheeks. I shyly brush some hair behind my ear and look away.
"Did you enjoy yourself today?" he asks. He reaches across the table and grabs my hand, rubbing his thumb lightly over my knuckles. I look back to his eyes and the softness of his face.
"More than anything. It was extraordinary; thank you." He grins at my words.
"I hope to show you extraordinary things for the rest of your life." He gives my hand a light squeeze. Instantly my stomach drops. I should tell him right now about the baby. His mood is so light that I can't see this going bad.
A waitress appears from beside us.
"Can I start you out with something to drink, Sir? Ma'am?" She looks flustered and I raise my eyebrow at Christian. His smile makes even me go weak. He knows he has an affect on women and it amuses him.
"Two glasses of your top red wine," he responds to her. She nods at him.
"Actually, I will just have a water. Thank you." I smile at her, but from the corner of my eye I see Christian's disapproving look.
"I will be right back with those for you." She flashes her teeth in a friendly smile and then leaves.
"Hmm." He takes his hand off of mine and sits back in his chair. He crosses his leg so his ankle is resting on his knee. He rubs his chin and just stares at me.
"What?" I tilt my head at him. "Can't a girl just want some water?"
"Why don't you want wine, lately? Especially here, in Paris?" he asks and I have to think about my answer for a second. I have to come up with some logical explanation.
"I haven't been craving it lately. That's all." As soon as it leaves my mouth I want to facepalm myself. Such a stupid answer and not a very convincing one at that.
"Mhm." He hums while staring at me with slightly narrowed eyes. I can tell that wasn't because he agrees with me.
The waitress comes back with our drinks and Christian orders two steaks, medium rare, with steamed vegetables. My mouth waters instantly.
"I have been thinking," he then says after a moment of silence.
"Well, I would be afraid if you haven't." I giggle and I see his mood shift a little towards the lighter side. He smirks.
"Always with your smart mouth, Miss Steele." He then removes his ankle from his knee and sits closer to the table. "I want to travel a bit after the wedding; show you some more major cities." He motions to the city around us. "There are even more spectacular places than here. Athens, Barcelona, Rome, Sydney. We could take a year seeing it all together."
My heart sinks.
"Travel for a whole year?" I feel my face drain of color and can tell my reaction startles him. I rub my now sweaty palms together under the table. I reach up and take a sip of my water. My hand is shaking and I try my best to steady it but he notices my change in body language.
"Anastasia?"
"You want to travel around the world?" I start to sink lower into my chair.
"Yes. I see how much you enjoy seeing the city and exploring. I feel guilty we can't stay here long due to my work. I want to take you to see everything your heart desires."
"I... I..." I am at lost for words.
"Don't be nervous, baby. We can always take trips back to visit family."
"That's not it."
The waitress comes back with our food and I'm grateful. I am starving but I also hope this shuts Christian up for a few minutes so that I can think. I cut into my steak and take a bite right away. He doesn't touch his food; instead he stares at me with burning eyes.
"Then what is it?" He asks while I have a mouthful of food. I stop chewing for a second and look at him. I bite down a few more times and swallow my much too large piece of meat.
"I don't think we will be able to do that. You have work and you know..." I quickly say before putting another piece in my mouth. I am starving and the food tastes delightful.
"I own my company. I can do whatever I want," he smirks. I swallow my food and set my fork down. "So what is it? You don't want to travel with me?"
"Don't be silly, Christian, of course I want to travel with you. I am just saying that..." I take a deep breath. "Now is not the right time."
"And why is that?" My stomach is about to jump out of my mouth from nervousness with every word he speaks.
"Because I'm pregnant." As soon as the words leave my mouth I want to take them back. I want to believe I just thought it and not really said that out loud. It's almost like everything around us has frozen. I can't look up at Christian, afraid to see the look on his face.
After a moment, I finally look up through my eyelashes and his expression tells me everything. Anger swells across his face, his hands in balls on the table and his breathing is deep. I pick my head fully up to look right into his eyes.
"Say that again," his cold tone commands.
"I'm pregnant." I feel like sinking through this chair right to the ground level; out of his view and out of such a public place. His eyes have glazed over with a cold look. His once icy gray eyes are now a dark storm.
"Impossible," he growls.
"Umm, not impossible." I say back with a nervous chuckle.
"This is funny to you?" He sits straight up and I cower a little. "Is ruining my life some joke?"
His words sting me like a swarm of bees; my heart shattering into a million pieces. It feels like the hole in my chest has reopened from the time we spent the year apart.
"No," I respond quietly. With a sudden movement of his arm he swiftly clears the table. All the food and drinks go crashing to the ground. I jump in my chair pushing my back flat against the seat. My hands shoot to protect my stomach instinctively.
"I don't want a baby. I don't want to have anything to do with that life. Did you do this on purpose?" He points at my stomach. His voice sends a cold chill down my spine. I go to open my mouth but he interrupts anything I was about to say. "This is going to ruin my life. A fucking baby?" He shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair. I glance at the delicious food now scattered on the balcony ground.
"Christian, calm down. We can talk about this."
"I will not calm down!" He stands up and braces himself on the table. He leans his body over the table to be closer to me. "I don't want this." His eyes glare with hate. Tears start to fall down my face and land on my dress. "Don't start with me, Ana. You knew damn well getting pregnant would fuck everything up."
With that he turns on his heels and proceeds to walk away. I instantly lower my head onto my crossed arms on the table, crying harder than I have in a long time.
The only thing that stops me is when I hear footsteps behind me. I sit up, thinking it's going to be Christian coming back. I am disappointed to see Sawyer. He stern face gives nothing away.
"I am to take you back to the penthouse, Miss Steele. Please come with me." He stands with his hands behind his back.
"He left?" I gawk at Sawyer. He just nods. which doesn't give much away. I slowly stand up and head for the exit.
What just happened? Did he break up with me?
He helps me to my feet and takes me through the restaurant with his hand around my back. I feel almost better till I realize how many eyes are on me. The girl crying so hard her eyes are swollen with a nose redder than the roses on the tables. I look like a fool and embarrassment swallows me.
When we get back to the penthouse, I walk directly to the bedroom and shut the door. I throw myself on the bed and cry hard into a pillow that smells of Christian. I hold it tight to my chest and the conversation flashes rough my mind over and over. He doesn't want this. He doesn't want me, then, obviously.
I have to leave.
I grab my purse from the couch and look around the penthouse for where Sawyer could possibly be hiding. I don't see him anywhere and I take the opportunity to make a dash for it. I press the elevator button waiting for the doors to open. My shaking hands splayed on my stomach. I knew this would happen. I knew he would take this harder than I did. I lower my head and close my eyes till I hear the doors slowly open. It seems that everything is moving in slow motion. I press the code door button over and over till they are tightly shut. I might have escaped Sawyer for some time but it won't be long till they realize I am not in the penthouse and he alerts Christian at his meeting.
I don't care, though. He had no right to make me feel like I did this. Even if it was out of anger or fear, I don't want to be anywhere near him right now. I don't want to be near anything that has to do with him. I make it to the lobby and speed walk my way to the doors, pushing past people without a care in the world of what people might think of how rude I seem. I just need to breathe. Outside, the air fills my nose with the scent of roses and it sends a calming sensation through my bones but not enough to make me turn around. I stand on the curb, trying to flag down a taxi. It doesn't take one long to pull over in front of me and I climb in so fast I almost stumble into the car.
"Where to, Madam?" The cab driver asks. He has tanned skin with dark black hair. An attractive man for his age; he is probably in his mid 50's.
"The airport, please," I say quickly. I definitely look like a runaway damsel in distress with the way sweat is quickly forming on my hairline. I feel a bead of it run down my cheek and I quickly brush it away.
"Yes, Madam," he replies and pulls away from the curb. I have an initial feeling that I want to cry but the adrenaline running through my body is stopping that from happening. I sit there in the back of this dingy cab by myself and place my hand over my nonexistent belly. I think to myself that running away could lead to being a single mom, raising a child that wasn't wanted by their father. No child should have to go through life like that. Would he find a new submissive to take his anger out on? Would he forget all about us and move on?
The thought are overwhelming so I try to stare out the window at scenery to take my mind off of it. My eyes keep catching young children and their parents. They look happy, smiling and playing together like a real family. The whole life Christian and I were going to have together is no more. It was never about the money or the expensive lifestyle he lived. I love him with my whole heart and more; I loved him with every ounce of my being and he stomped on my soul without even a care.
I take my phone out and do the only thing I can think of right now; call my mom. It rings three times before she picks up.
"Ana!" she squeals.
"Hi, Mom." I choke back the hurt in my voice but as my mom, I know she can tell it's not right
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Her voice is soothing and exactly what I needed.
"Can I come home?" I ask. I have no doubt she will take me back with open arms but not without a list of questions.
"Oh, absolutely you can come home. My door is always open. What's going on? Is everything with Christian okay?"
"Honestly, no. I just want to come home. I can explain everything there. Not over the phone." I hear her let out a long sigh. No doubt her mind will be running as fast as mine till I get there.
"When will you be arriving?" she asks.
"I need to book a flight. I am on my way to the airport right now but I won't be there for a while. I'm in Paris."
"Paris!" she yells.
"Yeah, I sort of came here with Christian for a meeting he has but things just took a bad turn and I want to leave. I will text you when I board." I can swear I hear her sobbing on the phone but she doesn't know it.
"Okay, sweetheart. See you soon. Love you."
"I love you too, Mom," I choke back. I press 'end' and throw my phone in my purse and zip it shut.
I close my eyes and lean my head back. I try to clear my mind and think about how long it will be before they realize I am gone. Suddenly, my phones starts to ring and my heart sinks. I snap open my eyes and rummage through my purse to find it. Why am I not shocked to see Christian's name. I press ignore and put my phone face down on my lap.
I look up and the taxi driver is looking at me through his rearview mirror. He catches me make eye contact with him.
"Is everything alright, Madam?" he asks politely.
"Yes, thank you," I lie. My phone rings again and I look down to see Christian's name once more. I take a deep breath and press ignore. Within seconds he is calling again. If I don't answer, he will just keep calling until I do.
"Christian."
"Where the fuck are you?" He belts out, startling me, though I am not surprised he is mad.
"Leaving." Is all I say.
"Get back to the penthouse right this second. This is not a request; it is an order." I can almost feel the steam coming from his ears.
"No, you made it very clear this isn't what you want. I won't bother you again. Goodbye, Christian," I say and click 'end'. I power my phone off this time so he can't call back or use his FBI skills to track me. I throw it back into my purse and pull out my wallet. I count out the money I have and wonder if it is enough for a one way ticket to Georgia and for the taxi ride. I stuff everything back in my purse as I see the airport sign ahead.
When we reach the curb, the gentlemen tells me it's 65 US Dollars. I count out my money and give it to him. I rush out of the car so fast I don't think I remembered to shut the door. At this point. I really don't care.
Since I don't have any luggage, I am hoping I can board fast and get out of here. When I get inside the vast building, I am instantly lost. There are people going in every direction and I look for a sign for the check-in desk but most of the signs are in French. I take a second to compose myself and take a closer look. In the distance I see a line of people in front of a long desk and decide to try that first. I find the shortest line and wait impatiently for my turn. It seems to last forever and I know every second that passes is a second longer I am stuck in this city with Christian.
I finally get to the desk.
"How may I help you today, Ma'am?" the older lady asks.
"One way ticket to Atlanta, Georgia, USA. Please." The woman looks down at her computer and types some information in. She looks curiously up at me a few times.
"One way ticket to Atlanta, Georgia is $598." I think for a moment if I have that type of money in my wallet. If I use my card, no doubt Christian will find me in a heartbeat. As I weigh my thoughts, I can tell the woman is getting impatient and the person behind me clears their throat. I pull out my wallet and passport to quickly count my cash. I don't have nearly enough. I find my mom's credit card that isn't linked to my account and use that to purchase the ticket. My mom always said I could use it in an emergency and this clarifies as one. I don't think he has knowledge of that card so I should be clear. The lady finishes my transaction and hands me back my passport with my card. She smiles at me with a concerned look in her eyes.
"Gate 48; takes off in 35 minutes. You better hurry if you want to catch your flight, but since you don't have luggage, I assume you should make it. Any problems, come back here." I don't even say anything back as I make a run for the gate. Security is another story. I get to the scanner and the officer is insistent that I walk through three times.
"Is there a problem, Sir?" I irritably ask.
"Do you only have your purse with you?" He cocks his head to the side. He takes a long moment to scan his eyes down my body, quickly making me uneasy.
"Yes. It was last moment and I am only going one way. I am in a rush." He takes a step closer to me as I speak.
"You traveling alone?" This time when he talks he is much too close for comfort and I take a step back.
"Yes." I squint my eyes at him.
"Hmm. Walk through one more time. I need to make sure you are not hiding anything under your dress." I gasp when he speaks through his thick French accent. My dress is short and tight; if I was hiding anything you would see it.
"Okay." I step through one more time and look back at him over my shoulder. When I do his eyes are locked on my butt. He looks down my legs and back up till our eyes meet. My hands cross over my chest and I feel violated without even being touched.
"You are good to go," he finally says. I grab my purse and walk at such a pace I think I might trip over my own two feet.
My gate is on the other side of the building. I make it with five minutes to spare, just enough time to catch my breath. I look around the room to all the people sitting in the chairs waiting to board just as I am. Couples young and old; children; a group of school girls in uniforms who look like they are going on a tripe or leaving from one; and an old man sitting in the corner, reading the paper. I wrap my arms around myself as I feel my adrenaline finally starting to drop and the cold sweats kicking in. My knees feel weak and my heart is still racing as if I just ran a marathon. I want nothing more than to be under the covers back at the penthouse with a warm sweater and a cup of tea. Tears form in the corners of my eyes and I realize the moment I step on this plane I can never look back. Christian doesn't want this life together, anymore. That is clear.
It's almost like the air is sucked out of the room when I realize that the school girls are staring at me. All of them are huddled together in the corner with eyes locked in my direction. One of the girls whispers to the one next to her and her mouth drops open. I look down at my dress and shoes wondering if I have something on them. My face must look like a clown from all my crying. I try to hide it with my hair.
A flight attendant walks out and announces we can now start boarding. I take a step forward but someone grabs my wrist, tight.
"Ouch," I squeal before spinning around to see an angry face. I gasp, "Christian."
edited by: dontcare89
Some of you will be angry at how this leave a sour taste in your mouth.
Remember there is another chapter coming this week!
It is already typed but I want to let this one sink in first.
I wanted to keep this as genuine as my heart felt and what kind
of author would I be if I did not follow my heart.
As my beta pointed out to me, as I struggled with his reaction, that
if I didn't do what felt right to me... I wouldn't believe in my own writing.
Thank you all for reading and I look forward to you thoughts!
