Author's Note: So I know that the wait has been eternal. Sorry about that, there is just a lot going on in my life these days and I'm just trying to make it from one day to the next. Anyway, I have finally bridged the gap between chapters and I will post the following chapters whenever I am able to. Unfortunately my internet isn't very reliable. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always please give me feedback. Just any of your thoughts will be helpful because I'm hitting another writers block,

Unrequited Wrong

Chapter 27: The Sacrificial Lamb

September soon disappeared into nothing. My birthday had been a very uneventful and boring affair, though Severus did give me a very pretty sleeping gown made of silk. However, I suppose it was very nice that he remembered considering that I hadn't remembered that it was my birthday at all. I felt old when he reminded me and I couldn't help wondering what I was doing there, at Hogwarts again. Twenty years old and pretending to be a seventh year? That seemed pitiful, because it meant that I was three years older than most of the kids and that sadly enough I actually looked their age. However, I didn't pay anything much mind.

After all I became very focused on my objective at Hogwarts when I realized that most of the first through third years were having a hard time even walking. For the most part, the Slytherins seemed completely unscathed and Gryffindor had the biggest casualties. However, Luna and the rest of the kids that were part of the D. A. seemed to get it much worse than the rest. It was awful to see everyone looking so beat up, but it was encouraging that the D. A. took it in stride and continued to rebel despite it all.

My main point of concern where the young ones, most of which seemed to be crumbling beneath it all. "Her name's Billy," Luna said as she and I sat in the common room. As we talked, a small first year crumble into one of the chairs, her legs giving out beneath her. I frowned as I looked out the window to see that it was late and that she must have had detention. It must have been torture for her to get up the stairs to the tower.

"I wish that I could do something for the little ones who can't really defend themselves," I said as I watched the girl with short, curly brown hair as she quickly fell asleep in the chair before she knew what was happening. Turning around, I could see Luna was staring at me with her brows furrowed. "What?" I asked as I stared at her. Over the past couple weeks we had come to an understanding that she wouldn't say anything to anybody about who I really am nor mention it in public and that I would help the DA with anything they needed. Clandestinely of course as I didn't want any of them to recognize me and I had a feeling that Ginny Weasley might catch onto me as well.

"A Transference spell could save them from the pain," Luna suggested as she stared up at the ceiling. I turned my eyes and stared at her. It was a good idea, but there were many flaws.

"We would need someone to transfer it to and I don't think the older students will want to take on someone else's pain and it will be dangerous for one person alone to take all that pain. Besides, as big of idiots at the Carrows are, they would notice that the students wouldn't be writhing in pain or screaming from the cruciatus. We would need to compound it with a glamour or something," I said, now beginning to talk to myself more than to her. The wheels in my head started to turn and suddenly I wondered what had happened to all of my notebooks. They would really come in handy about now. "I'll be back, don't wait up," I said as I suddenly stood up.

"Curfew will be soon, don't get caught," Luna said before getting up and leaving. I rolled my eyes as I made my way to the entrance and made my way down the stairs before sneaking through the hallways. I'd done this a millions times and it seemed a little silly for a girl that was about four years younger than me to tell me to be careful. It didn't take very long to sneak down the gargoyle statue and to make my way upstairs. I didn't go in but put my ear next to the door to make sure that no one was there before opening it and walking in.

As soon as I walked in, Severus looked up from his desk and glared at me as though he knew it had been me. I rolled my eyes as I strode over to his desk and stood opposite of him. "Hey Severus, do you have any of my notebooks, you know the ones that I used to write in?" I asked as I stared at him. I knew that all of my original one's were long gone. However, I didn't stop hoping that the ones that he had gotten me were around somewhere. Although, I was pretty sure that he couldn't have very many, because I still had a few. I know that I'd forgotten one or two in Spinner's End though, because I left them lying around and couldn't collect them all in the end.

Severus stared at me with a raised brow, which I understood considering that it was a rather strange questions considering everything. However, after a moment he merely stood up and walked up the stairs. Furrowing my brow, I followed behind him as he walked up and walked past the sitting room and to his bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I watched curiously as he headed to the great, ornate wardrobe and opened the door before opening a secret compartment. He pulled something out before turning around and handing it to me.

Furrowing my brow, I stared at what he was handing me. It looked like a stack of notebooks, wrapped in a silver shroud and tied with a green ribbon made of silk. Taking what he was handing me, I slowly undid the bow and unwrapped the notebooks. There were more than I thought there should be and when I looked at the one at the very top, I looked up in astonishment. "But.... I lost these when I left along with everything," I said as I stared into his eyes.

"I found them in an shop that sold... innocuous items in the months after your disappearance. The shop reminded me of you and... I found them there," Severus said with a shrug of his shoulders, though there was something in his tone that said that it wasn't something that he simply shoved off as he tried to. Looking down at the notebooks in my hand, I held them close to me. Even I couldn't remember everything that was inside their pages and as I opened to a random page, I nearly laughed at the caricature I had done of Severus when I was a first year. Looking up at Severus, I smiled as I showed him the caricature and saw the corner of his mouth twitch.

"Quite the likeness," he said sarcastically as I turned it around and looked at it adoringly.

"You were always fascinating, at least to me you were," I said softly as I stared at the picture that I had drawn of him. It was a caricature so of course I had exaggerated the nose and made it larger, and his mouth I'd shrunk so that it was barely visible. However, I couldn't help but adore the scowling face, shrouded in the shadows of his hair. Looking up, I smiled at him broadly and blushed lightly to see that he was staring at me very intently. "Why didn't you tell me that you had them sooner?" I asked as I stared at him.

Severus turned away, as though he were too embarrassed about the answer to respond. It reminded me of the day that he didn't want to say his password aloud, because he didn't want to admit that he'd missed me. Looking down at them, I flipped through the pages and noticed that when I got stuck when I was working on a spell or other, I would draw, mostly in the margins and mostly flowers. I frowned at the sight of so many stargazer lilies. I had forgotten that at one point they were my favorite flowers. The only times I took to draw on full sheets was when I was drawing a person and in those early years, the majority were rough sketches of Severus. "I forgot that I had them," he said with a shrug.

I stared at him for a moment, but didn't say anything to him. I didn't believe him, but there was no point arguing about it. "Well thank you Severus, for keeping them safe for so long," I said as I stood up and wrapped them up again. It got a bit annoying that he never had the courage to say what he really felt. Was it simply that he thought of it was a betrayal of his heart? I tried not to think of this as I prepared myself to go.

"Delilah... stay," Severus said as I moved towards the door and he touched my shoulder for a moment. I stopped and slowly turned around to look at him, smiling despite the small injury I felt. I shook my head, I didn't think that I could stay now. I was afraid the injury would turn into bitterness and anger and I didn't want to get into that. "Delilah, stay with me tonight," he said as he looked into my eyes. I blinked as I stared up at him and found my heart clench as I stared up into his eyes. I couldn't say no to him so I merely nodded. He smiled slightly at me as he took the notebooks from my arms and placed them on the nightstand.

Turning around I walked back to the bed and sat on its edge and grabbed the post next to me, leaning my head against it. Why was I so weak when it came to Severus? I didn't bother to think of the answer to that as I removed my head from the post and removed my shoes, before standing up and taking off my school robes. I crawled onto the bed as Severus turned around and removed his own robes. Laying back in bed, I watched with a smile he began to remove his clothes while my heart beat faster. "Are you going to sleep in your clothes?" he asked as he stared at me while removing his shirt and proceeding to sit on the edge of the bed to remove his shoes.

"I don't have anything to sleep in here," I responded as I started to unbutton my sweater while leaning up to remove it, I kept the sleeping gown he'd given me in Ravenclaw as I never really spent the night with Severus. Severus looked over his shoulder at me and sneered as he watched me remove my school tie.

"Yes, but you will sleep far more comfortably without your clothing," he replied as he stood up to remove his pants. I smiled to see the contrast of his black boxers against his pale legs. However, the black hairs that covered them were far more sharp in contrast and I smiled as I started to unbutton my shirt.

"But without any clothing, I'm sure that the Headmaster will wish to get up to some mischief," I said with a smile as I removed my shirt. Severus turned around and raised a brow as he stared at me before kneeling on the edge of the bed and reaching out to remove my socks. I merely smiled as I started to unbutton and unzip my skirt, but he swatted my hands away.

"Leave the skirt on, for now," he said as he crawled over my body and placed a kiss on my lips, one of his hands reaching underneath my skirt to begin to tug on my panties. I sighed in contentment as I leaned back against the pillows and played another game with Severus, which in the end will still leave me injured. That didn't matter though, not at the moment and I couldn't ever regret the moments that we spent together as one, even when it was over and I felt incomplete.

XX

For the following several days I became obsessed trying to find a way to protect everyone from the cruciatus curse. Every time I would look at the young ones, hurt and crying, I pushed harder to find a solution. When I at last came across an ancient spell that transferred and internalized all the pain of one being called a host, it became all too simple. However, I was a bit worried about it... I mean the person tortured would appear as though they were being tortured, but how were they going to react to that? Surely they wouldn't bring it to someone's notice.

The other problem was the host part. Who would willingly put themselves in that position? But of course, this was the best idea I had and October as already a week in, I was impatient to start doing something for them now. After classes I hurriedly made my way to see Professor McGonagall to tell her my idea. Of course she immediately was against the whole thing, stating that there had to be another way. However, she changed her mind very reluctantly several days later, when one of the second years had to be transferred to St. Mungos because Alecto had placed him under the cruciatus too long.

"All right... but only for the first through third years, the older students seem to be dealing with it quite admirably," Professor McGonagall said as she sat down behind her desk. "How are you going to do it?" she asked as she ran a hand over her face. These days she looked like she had aged much more and she was always tired, at least in private. I understood, most of the Professors at Hogwarts looked rather run-down if you looked at them close enough. It wasn't easy to work at Hogwarts, just as it wasn't easy to be a student here these days.

"That's simple enough, the long scroll with every students name on it.... I'll put a ward for the students that are going to be under the spell's protection," I replied as I stared at her. "But I should do it now. Severus won't be in his office," I said as I got up from sitting across from her and making my way towards the Headmaster's office. I knew the way very well by now and it didn't take me long to get there undetected. Once I poked my head inside his office and saw that he was indeed gone I set about my work.

It didn't take long to find the scroll. I'd caught a glimpses of it before, though I hadn't really cared much for it at the time. Once I spotted it, I quickly pulled it onto the desk and performed the somewhat complex spell. Most of the portraits were pretending to slumber, but I knew that Dumbledore's portrait was watching me. I could feel his azure eyes staring down at me with interest, but I did my best to ignore him. I didn't know how long Severus would be gone for and I didn't want to have to explain to him what I was doing. I knew that he would object, so I had no time to fuck around.

I had just finished setting up the last ward and was about to put away my wand when suddenly the office door and Severus stepped inside. Looking up like a deer caught in the headlights from behind his desk, I stared at him as he froze in the doorway. He was staring at me with his deeply penetrating eyes and they were roaming down to see what I was holding in my hands. His brow seemed to furrow as he noticed that I had my wand out, though he didn't seem to notice the scroll.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a low and deliberately slow voice. His eyes were now looking up at me, narrowed in suspicion and staring at me as though he thought I were spying on him. In all likelihood that was exactly what he was thinking. I'm not sure if he ever really got rid of the suspicion that perhaps I was spying on him for the Order. Though, he had no reason to doubt that. Until perhaps this moment.

My mouth was dry and for a moment, I didn't know what to do or say. Then all of a sudden, we both were in a rush of movement. In one fluid and very fast movement, Severus had closed the the door behind himself as was rushing at me while I rushed to conceal the scroll of student names. Though, It wasn't until he was standing behind me, trying to pry it from my hands as I was turned away from him that I realized how stupid and futile this all was.

"All right, all right, STOP!" I said as I huddled over the parchment, Severus' long and sleek form draped around me as he tried to get to what I was concealing. "I will tell you, just let go!" I said. We were both panting for breath due to the small struggle that we had been having, and it really was stupid. It was done already and there was really nothing that he could do to reverse it.

For a few seconds we both stopped and regained our breathing before pulling apart and turning to face each other. Turning around so that I was facing him, I handed him the scroll of students who were currently enrolled in Hogwarts. I watched him carefully as he it grabbed and looked down at it. He furrowed his brow, probably confused as to why I would sneak into his office for that while I tried to think of a way to tell him what I was doing that would make him least angry. Of course, I could think of nothing as he looked up at me questioningly. "Why do you want this?"

I looked up into his eyes, his brows were furrowed over them in confusion while he continued to watch me suspiciously. I knew that he was trying to get past my barriers, but that wasn't going to happen. Not that it mattered because I wasn't going to lie to him anyway. "McGonagall wanted me here to give the students more protection. I've felt pretty useless lately, I can't do anything for anyone, but I've found a way to protect some of the students, at least the first through third years and I needed the scroll to be able to perform the spell to protect them."

"What spell?" Severus asked, his tone of voice soft as he studied the scroll very thoroughly. I inwardly cursed, knowing that he was already onto me. Severus is honestly far too intelligent for his own good! Nothing gets past him! Except of course where his prejudices were concerned, they clouded his judgment. He doesn't really see the world as clearly as he seems to think that he does.

"Oh you know.... just a spell... compilation of this and that," I replied nonchalantly, shrugging my thin shoulders for effect and pretending to find something else on his desk more interesting. Severus gave me a very sharp look suddenly and I couldn't help but feel like I was a first year all over again. It doesn't help that he's still so much taller than me. "The spell I created.... its going to transfer the effects of the cruuciatus from every first through third year to a host, while glamoring the students under torture."

"A host?" Severus whispered. I turned away from him, not wanting to see the expression on his face. He dropped the scroll on the desk and grabbed my arms roughly and forced me to look at him. His face was livid, of course he knew who the host was. "You? Just you? Do you have any idea what this can do to you? Do you have any idea the consequences that this will have?" he yelled in my face as he shook me violently by the arms. I grimaced at the pain and tried to pull away from him, but Severus really had a hold like steel clamps that don't know how to let go of something once they have grasped onto it.

"I know! But I need to do something!" I said as I stared at him. "Let go! It's done and there is nothing you or anyone can do about it. The spell can't be reversed!" I said as I stared up into his eyes and continued to try and pull away from him. His hold however was unmerciful and not letting up. He was glaring down at me and baring his teeth, his greasy hair framing his sallow face.

"I can send you away!" he bellowed, causing several of the Headmasters and Headmistresses jump in their slumber.

"No you can't! They'll look for me, you know they will! It's the law that I have to be here, they know I exist!" I hissed up at him, while still trying to wriggle out of his grasp. He was really injuring my arms and I thought it likely that he would bruise them.

"You can elude them."

"I won't, I'll let them come for me if you send me away!" I said fiercely as I stopped struggling to get away from him and stared into his eyes with as much intensity as he was glaring down at me. He seemed to freeze suddenly, and for a moment there was silence and stillness inside the room. Time seemed to stop and slumber, while we tried to stare each other down, seeing who was going to win this battle.

But time suddenly went on. I suddenly had the strangest feeling that I was losing control of my body, it froze in Severus's arms of it's own accord and I could not move a centimeter of it, even if I wanted to. I couldn't even bat a lash and my mouth was clamped shut and I could barely see Severus standing not a but a few centimeters from my face. And then suddenly it washed over me. Waves upon waves of what felt like the cruciatus curse performed by someone that was too weak to do it properly. I felt as though my entire body was trying to convulse, I felt as though I wanted to scream, but my body was powerless to do anything. It was immobile, all functions suspended like my brain couldn't receive any motor signals, as though it were severed from the spine.

It was agonizing, and seemed to distort time and then it was gone as fast as it came. My body trembled for a moment and I felt as though I was going to crumble into Severus arms. My senses all seemed to work suddenly and I could hear Severus's voice full of concern ringing loudly in my ears as he clutched onto my body and shook me gently, as though he were now afraid that he might break me.

"Delilah... Delilah! Say something," he said as I shook my head, trying to control my body as I stumbled into the Headmasters chair. I raised my hand to silence him and looked down wondering if that was what it was going to feel like, and how often I would feel it. However, not a minute passed when I got my answer. The same effect suddenly washed over me and I could feel it again. My body going beyond my control, tensing up to keep me from shouting and convulsing at the pain, imprisoning me with it and making me lose any ability to express the pain that was desperately calling for some kind of release.

And then it was gone again. Closing my eyes and taking deep breaths, I ignored Severus who hadn't failed to notice the second wave. He was now kneeling down next to me, checking me and making a silent fuss about me. "Stop it!" I said irritatedly, surprised that I could manage to sound quite so normal. "It gets diluted because it has to travel to get to me. I'm fine. I can take this a couple times a day," I said as I sat back. My muscles were tensing up a little, but I figured that was nothing that a couple of muscles relaxants couldn't take care of.

Sitting back and closing my eyes, I took in a few deep breaths and tried to clear my head. "Delilah, diluted or not... this is very dangerous. You don't know what prolonged exposure to this will do to you and the risk of losing your mind is-" Severus started to say sternly, but I was getting very angry. I felt like I was being treated like a child, being told what to do. I wasn't a child and I didn't take orders from anyone! He wasn't my father and as far I was concerned, I never had any parental figures that I needed to taker orders from. Especially not now at the age of twenty!

"Severus, leave me the hell alone1 I know what I'm doing. You're not the only one that gets to play the hero," I said irritatedly as I suddenly turned and looked at him angrily. "Stop pretending that you give a damn about me. You're risking your life for the love of your life... let me do this! You like to put others down, you liked telling Sirius that he was worthless because he didn't do anything for the Order when you damn well knew that he wanted to! You put him down and he's dead! I won't let you do that to me! I won't let you take away any sense of purpose from my life! I mean nothing to you anyway, so just let me be!" I said angrily, not really aware that I was actually yelling before suddenly standing up and striding around the desk.

I didn't get far before I suddenly felt him grab me by the arm and pull me around to the other side of the desk. He kicked a cupboard open before shoving my head by the back of my neck roughly down into a stone basin. For a moment, my eyes widened in horror and I was wondering if I pushed Severus so far that he was now going to drown me. However, it wasn't water that my head was sinking beneath, and before long all I knew was that I was plummeting down into what looked like an office in the ministry of magic.

Furrowing my brow as I landed upright on my feet, I looked around myself and was startled to see that I was standing on the left of ... myself. But... it wasn't me. Stepping closer to the odd apparition, I stared at the figure with my face, which was framed on either side with lilac strands of hair, curled at the tips. On the top of my head there was a silver circlet with little diamonds, from the back of which hung a wispy veil that reached down to the small of my back, falling like snow, the fabric airy as clouds. The vacant expression on my face made me feel like I was staring at a mannequin of myself, one that had light amounts of makeup that made me look... pretty.

"Delilah.. snap out of it," my head froze as at the sound of that voice. My heart pained worse than anything that I had felt inside Severus' office at the sound alone and then... there she was. Brown curls framing her youthful face, her brown eyes staring at me in concern as it hovered over my left, bare shoulder. And suddenly I realized where I was. What this was. Looking over at myself, the sleek, white, over the shoulder white wedding gown that Monica had dressed me in; seeing her standing faithfully on my right and just behind me... this was the day I was forced to marry Severus. The day that to me didn't even exist in my conscious as a blur.

Turning to my left, I suddenly realized that Severus was standing on my other side, clad in his usual all black robes. However, I was startled to see that he was staring at me. Well not me... I imagine that this was some type of memory and that I wasn't really here, but he was staring at the me he was about to marry. There was an odd sort of wonder in his eyes as he snuck glances towards me. He seemed struck by something... stunned.

"Will the bride sign?" I looked forward to see the desk that we were all facing, behind which stood a ministry official. On the desk there was a parchment laid out, on either side of which there were two very large, white feathered quills sitting in very decorative, silver inkwells.

"Go," I turned to see Monica shove me towards the inkwell and I watched myself walk up like a zombie and sign my name without looking. There was a completely blank expression on my face as I turned around and walked back to where I had previously been standing. Turning to look at Severus... there seemed to be an oddly sad expression on his face as he watched me take my place beside him, but this disappeared quickly as he moved to sign his own name to the marriage license. After which Monica and Dumbledore signed as well and the matter was over and I was back in Severus office.

"Why did you show me that?" I asked in complete confusion as I turned to look at him, not caring about how I had seen that memory, I was allowed to be there or not at all even noticing the basin that I had apparently just come out of. All there was, was Severus and the confusion about the memory. Why did he show me the day that we married? What did it mean?

"Don't EVER tell me that I don't care," he said through gritted teeth which he bared at me as he bent his face close mine. He then kicked me out of his office.... and that was the end of that, though I didn't understand. NOT AT ALL!

TBC...