A/N: Wow! I'm absolutely overwhelmed by the response I got for the last chapter! You guys are absolutely amazing! MASSIVE group hug! I can't tell you how touched I was to see all your kind words! Not only have you guys managed to get me passed the 500 reviews mark, but you've been just soooo enthusiastic! There are no words for this. There are NO WORDS to describe this feeling :D So yah, thanks!

You know what this may or may not be safe to read in public. I honestly hate to spoil things so I'm not gonna tell you if it's safe to read in public or not. I actually write at work most of the time. The way I see it is, if I can write smuff at work, you can read it there as well :P So you're just gonna have to take the risk and read to find out if it actually happens.

Manifolds

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Chp. 28

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I don't think I had slept as soundlessly as I did that night since starting this whole reality travel craziness. It took us only a few moments to fall asleep as we were both exhausted by the day's events. After all, we had been up pretty early and it had been one very busy day. Emotionally as well as physically. I had wanted to break Emily out of her self-imposed shell and it seemed I had succeeded. A lot better than I thought I would. I had wanted her to affirm herself, to speak up, to be able to tell what she wanted and go for it. I honestly hadn't expected that thing she wanted to be me. Of course, I hadn't been very hard to get. Emily had always had me after all whether she knew it or not.

When I first started to wake up, I was completely soaked in my little happiness bubble. I could smell Emily all over me and I could feel her breathing against my neck. There was something awfully reassuring about her still being here, sleeping next to me, half on me. Sometimes back home, Emily and I would fall asleep cuddling and wake up on complete ends of the bed. Other days, we would move a little but were still half cuddling the next morning. Most of the time, it was just these two options, but on occasions when Emily and I had particularly been missing each other, we'd wake up completely snuggled against each other. This was one of those times.

I had one arm around her shoulders while the other cradled her waist, pushing our bodies as close as possible. Emily, for her part, had her face buried in the crook of my neck with her arm resting on my chest her fingers twitching as she slept. I let my eyes flutter open and frowned a little at the brightness in the room. Then, I frowned because I was in the hotel room. Upon finding myself cuddling like this with who was undoubtedly Emily (I could recognize the feel of her any day), I must admit I had wished I'd open my eyes and find myself in our room in our flat in Bristol. In other words, I had hoped I'd be back home. Of course, I had no such luck. After all, JJ had told me that, theoretically, reality travel was only possible through something big enough to alter molecules… Or something like that. As good as our love making was, I doubt it generated that much energy. Although maybe if we tried hard enough… Right, focus!

I wanted to turn around and look at the time, but I soon found myself completely captivated by the brunette's sleeping form. Her breathing was even and her body was completely relaxed. I felt my heart swell with disgustingly corny amounts of love. But what could I do really? I fucking loved this woman more than I could comprehend. And I had always loved her. I could still remember all those days in middle school, spent trying not to look at her and not to think about her. All this effort for ending up talking to her and all this effort for ending up kissing her at a shit party in a lovely garden. I had tried harder than anything to forget her, to forget how her lips had felt against mine, how she tasted like something sweet but also like alcohol. I had avoided her, refused to talk to her, I had tried to pretend I didn't give a shit. And really who had I fooled? I don't think Katie would have been so insistent to keep me away from her sister if she hadn't seen right through me, seen that I did care, that I did want Emily.

It felt funny to me now, limbs entangled around the petite's body, to think that I had thought I could do the same thing in this reality as I had done in middle school and college and expect things to turn out differently. Wasn't it the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? I wasn't that surprised though because, clearly, Emily had always driven me insane whether it was insane with fear or insane with love. In retrospect, I liked the latter better.

I would have liked to freeze this moment in time. I would have liked for Emily never to wake up and just snuggle me for eternity, because I was petrified of what would happen when she awoke. I could very well remember how Emily had wanted me to just kiss her and make love to her the night before and I could remember how she had told me after it all that it had felt right. Surely she wouldn't go back on her words now? As much as I could hope, I knew the possibility was overwhelming. Emily wasn't free after all. Whether she loved her husband or not (that point definitely needed to be determined) she was still married. So technically, Emily had cheated. And if there was one thing that really wasn't Emily at all, it was cheating. I knew it would be big for her and I could only hope she wouldn't just freak out.

I moved my head a little and placed a gentle kiss on her temple. I had to wake her up eventually, might as well do it with kisses. Okay, so maybe there was a part of me that was scared these were the last kisses I would give Emily before she walked out on me. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts. The petite scrunched up her nose at my flutter of kisses on her temple, cheeks and nose. I kissed my way back to the top of her head, closing my eyes a bit to inhale as much of her scent as I could. It felt like I was preparing myself for a storm. Or a heartbreak rather.

Soon enough, perhaps too soon, Emily's eyes fluttered open. She blinked a few times and then settled her sight on me. Our eyes locked and I gave her half a smile. I wasn't sure of what to do or what to say. I felt like my eyes were telling it all anyway.

"Is this okay? Are you okay? Do you regret it?"

The petite stared at me for a few seconds. I felt the anxiety rise in my chest as the seconds passed. She hadn't smiled back. But then again she hadn't sprung away from me so that had to be good too, right? Emily lifted her hand that was already resting on my chest to brush her fingers on the length of my jaw. I closed my eyes at the contact. If felt too good not to. I heard the brunette let out a sight and then she shifted a bit so that both her arms were now circling my neck. I opened my eyes in surprise, but closed them again when Emily lifted her face to place a sweet kiss on my lips. It was… unhurried. Our lips were just dancing a slow waltz, rediscovering the tastes of each other effortlessly. Emily opened her mouth and I instinctively met her tongue with mine. Again, it was unhurried. Even if we were both stark naked and even if Emily was slightly on top of me, I didn't want to take things further. This felt like the assurance I had wanted, needed. This kiss felt like a confirmation that, no, Emily hadn't wanted to sleep with me just because I was there and convenient, she had wanted to because she felt something. I didn't know what it was, but at least, I knew there was something to look for now.

The brunette disconnected our lips and buried her face in my neck. A few seconds later, I felt her body tense up and start shaking. And then I heard the sobs and brought my arms around her waist, holding her tight. I fucking hated that there was nothing else I could do. I hated feeling completely powerless, forced to watch her pain with absolutely no way of removing it. I held her as tight as I could without hurting her and she held me just as tight.

"Fuck" I heard her whisper through her sobs.

"Shush" I cooed as best as I could.

I had never been that good with tears, but I'd rather be shit at comforting Emily than not try at all. I rocked her gently until the sobs had subsided a little. Emily's hold on my neck never loosened and that gave me hope that maybe we'd be able to work through this. At least she wasn't running away and that alone was a big deal. The brunette released me a little and I was able to see her face. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks a little black from her tears leaving mascara trails. I brought my lips closer and kissed the tears because I couldn't help it. It tore my heart apart to see her so upset. I wanted to burry my face in her hair and whisper in her ear how much I loved her, but I couldn't do that. I knew my feelings were too intense for the stage we were at. For all I knew Emily was attracted to me but didn't feel anything else. So I swallowed down my words and said nothing.

Emily trembled beneath my lips and tightened her hold a little. I was elated really. It seemed I was still her anchor, even today, even after a night sleep, even after everything. I moved away to look at her face again. She was sniffing a little, making the cutest noises and wrinkling her button nose. I brought a hand up between us and wiped more tears away with my thumb. Emily closed her eyes, leaning into my touch.

"Fuck" she muttered again, her voice heavy and raspy.

The petite opened her eyes after and was met by my frown. I really hated this.

"Don't" Emily said as she brought her own hand to smooth my eyebrows. "You shouldn't frown so much you know, you'll have wrinkles"

I smiled bashfully at her then because of all the things she could have said, she had chosen a ridiculously domestic quote.

"Sorry" I replied.

Emily smiled at me for the first time this morning and my heart swelled to such large proportion that I had to kiss her. I didn't make it a long or big thing, I just wanted to connect our lips for one small peck. The brunette hummed into it anyway.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

I knew she wasn't, I knew it was a stupid question, but I also knew that there wasn't anything else to say. It was Emily's turn to frown, her eyes quickly filling with tears again.

"Hey" I said holding her close again. "Don't cry Ems…" I cooed.

"I'm sorry" she muttered through fresh tears. "This is just so… fucked"

"I know…" I replied my own voice heavy. "I know Ems… I'm so sorry"

And I really felt sorry. I fucking knew I'd end up causing my Emily more pain than anything else. It ate away at my conscience that she was hurting and that it was my fault. I knew I should have stayed away from her, but she just made me so bloody happy. I really was a moody cow when she wasn't around. And human beings being selfish things, I couldn't help myself. I loved her.

"Don't" Emily said again.

She brushed her fingers along my jaw again.

"Please don't be sorry"

"How can I not though? I shouldn't have… I mean, I… You're all… and it's my fault" I stammered.

It was hard to find the right words.

"Do you regret it?" Emily asked.

Her face was something between a pout and a frown and I could see all the confusion oozing out of her. I frowned as well.

"I… I shouldn't… Ems I…" I articulated with difficulty.

I felt like I had to lie, tell her it was a mistake so she'd go back to her normal life, to her husband, but somehow the lie just wasn't coming. It was consuming my insides and I felt like if it dared cross my lips, it would take everything I was with it.

"I should regret it. I should tell you it was all a mistake but I… I can't" I finally said in a whisper. "I can't tell you I regret it because I'd do it again in an instant… Ems… I… I'm just… "

I stopped for a second and frowned. This was it though, this was the moment where I either played it cool or put my heart on the line… again. I could very well adopt the bitch attitude and make Emily believe she had just been a convenient fuck. Problem was I very well couldn't do that. I had stopped being that girl that pretended Emily was just convenient ages ago. I couldn't hurt her. Guess it would be the heart on the line option then… I clenched my jaw in anticipation. Fuck me this was so much harder than it seemed. But I couldn't lie to Emily. I couldn't tell her it was just a thing and that it hadn't meant much to me. I couldn't tell her she didn't mean much to me.

"Emily… I'm fucking crazy about you" I admitted seriously.

My voice was shaking and my frown was back. I was completely terrified my words would terrify her and she'd reject me… Emily seemed relieved though and that eased the squeezing of my heart. She buried her face in my neck and we were silent for a few seconds. Her hold on me was tight and I could hear her sniffing occasionally. I could feel wetness on my neck and I knew Emily was crying again. The fact that she wasn't running away seemed to urge me on.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't… but I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about you and I just… Being with you or talking to you is always the best part of my day. I know it's fucked up and it makes everything so much more complicated and I've tried so fucking hard not to do anything about it… But I can't tell you, now that it's done, that it meant nothing to me. I wish I could tell you I regret it all but I really can't so I… I'm sorry" I whispered in her ear.

I have to admit it felt good to finally let it out, to finally tell her I had it bad for her. Of course I still couldn't exactly tell her I was in love with her, but I could still make it close. Emily drew back from my neck than and latched her lips on mine. This time our kiss was messier, hungrier. I wanted to lose myself in Emily, in our lover's union and I think she wanted the same. I wanted to forget about any reality and for everything to just be this, me and Ems and kissing. I wanted it to be only lips and tongues and hitched breaths and tugging fingers and soft moans. I could taste Emily's tears and feel her sobs on my lips so I ended our kiss and drew back to look at her. I brushed her tears again and gave her the most apologetic look I could muster. The petite was looking at me as if transfixed and I couldn't tear my gaze from her either. Even with her puffy eyes and everything, she still looked fucking spectacular. Something was nagging at me though…

"Do…" I started uncertain, feeling yet another frown creep up on my face. "Do you regret it?"

I saw an utter look of anguish cross my love's face and I have to admit I got scared then. Scared that Emily did regret it and scared I was pushing her too far. I wasn't sure I could hear her say she didn't love me. Not again.

"It's okay" I mumbled. "You don't have to answer that"

I tried to make it smooth. I tried to give the brunette a reassuring look, but I don't think I managed too well. Truth was I could feel my throat squeezing and I very much wanted to cry. It felt like I was being rejected again by Emily and I knew I couldn't deal with it. How was it that I couldn't resist her in any reality while she only had feelings for me in one? Part of me wanted to get up from the bed and fucking run for all I was worth. But the hurt was freezing me in place. I had started to look away when Emily reached a hand on my cheek and turned my face back to hers. Her eyes were shinning bright and I felt a glimmer of hope when I saw that beneath the anguish there was also love. My heart went in full overdrive when Emily slowly shook her head.

"I don't… When… you're there… everything makes sense in a way it never has before" the petite said in such a small voice that I'm not sure I would have heard her if she hadn't been so close.

I couldn't help myself then and full on just kissed her. I was pleased to see that Emily was quite eager to reciprocate. Our tongues met instantly as our hands started to travel. If our first kiss of the day had been unhurried and our second hungry, this one was just plain passionate. There was nothing left to hold us back. Emily had dug her fingers in my hair and I had cupped her perfectly shaped arse before pulling her on top of me. There was no mistaking where this was going to lead. It felt like my body was in completely ecstasy, my senses firing too much information at the same time. I could feel Emily's tits pushed against my own and her thigh firmly pressed between mine. I couldn't help letting a moan of pleasure escape me as Emily started grinding into me. The petite disconnected our lips to place soft kisses across my face. She kissed her way to my ear and licked the lobe before biting on it. I groaned at the sensation, but also at the fact that with her lips so close I could hear how ragged her breath had become. Before she had time to move, I lifted my thigh so that it would press into her as well. I felt a twinge go right to my core when I heard the resulting moan from Emily. I lifted my hands to her hips than while the petite started grinding into my thigh.

"Oh Naomi" she whispered in my ear.

I fucking loved every second of it. I loved that I could feel Emily's wetness building against me, I loved that I could hear every little moan and gasp coming from her lips, I loved that I could see her beautiful body sliding against mine, fitting perfectly and, above all, I loved her like a madwoman. I have to admit it was my turn to gasp loudly when the brunette suddenly lowered her head to latch her mouth around one of my nipple, her hand reaching for the other one. I felt my own wetness multiply as Emily licked and sucked on my nipple, switching to the other one after a few seconds. I could still feel her grinding on my thigh, but it was a little less clear, a little hazier. I couldn't focus on anything else then the feel of Emily. The feel of her and I, together. I was very aware that I was pushing my tits in her face and Emily only seemed happy about it. And this wasn't like last night. It wasn't a moment, it didn't seem to be quite as inevitable. But regardless it was still happening. Maybe it was because Emily and I together was always inevitable. Because we were just meant to end up together, to make each other feel so goddamn good.

After a moment, I felt her shift and move between my legs, bringing a hand to my inner thigh to spread them wider apart. She had done so without dislodging her lips from around my nipple and I was way too busy enjoying the feeling of her tongue to even consider protesting. Even so, I didn't want to complain. I was Emily's, completely and utterly hers. When she was seemingly comfortably settled, the petite left my tit to trail her kisses higher up my chest until she had reached my lips. She kissed me passionately, biting softly on my bottom lip before plunging her tongue in my mouth. I could feel her lower stomach rubbing against me as Emily explored my mouth. God I loved kissing her! I had always thought our kisses were perfect. And I don't mean by that that they never slipped in the throws of passion or that we had never accidentally knocked our teeth together, because we had. But even then, we always met each other with equal feelings, bursting inside us and colliding with the same frantic rhythm as our kisses.

At this very moment, I was so bloody turned on it felt like I had a lake between my legs. I couldn't get enough of Emily. She didn't kiss me long and moved her head just a bit further until our gazes could lock as she suddenly stopped her movements. It took me by surprise and I automatically focused on her eyes solely. When blues met browns, I felt her right hand trail slowly up the side of my ass onto my side, fingers brushing the underside of my tit teasingly until they were positioned softly on my jaw. I wasn't sure what she had in mind, but if the smoldering look in her eyes was anything to go by, I was sure I wouldn't be disappointed. And honestly, knowing Emily, there was just no way I could be disappointed. She brought her fingers slowly in front of my lips and I immediately leaned forward to kiss the tips before slowly taking them in my mouth. Emily gave me such a devilish smirk then that I knew this had been exactly what she had hoped for. She brought her hand down again along my body, never breaking the eye contact, leaving wet trails in her wake and raising goosebumps on my skin. When I felt the same fingers I had just licked make contact with my core, I understood exactly why she had looked so mischievous.

"Ohhhh" I moaned loudly as the brunette very fucking slowly trailed two fingers against my folds.

I closed my eyes then and let myself get lost in her touch. Fuck me if Emily Fitch felt anything but ridiculously good. I was sure she was still looking at me, but I didn't have it in me to care. My hips were moving against her fingers and I was desperate for her to increase her pace. Naturally though, this wasn't what Emily had in mind. I think I knew then that this wasn't just a fuck, that this was so much more. After a few seconds, the petite lowered herself on me and kissed the side of my jaw before whispering:

"You're so fucking hot"

I growled, yes growled, in response. I opened my eyes to send my beautiful lover the most lustful look I had probably ever sent her in this reality. I brought my hands to her back and traced the curve of her spine as Emily kept teasing me. I loved how my touch made her bring her chest closer to me and how easily my fingers were sliding across her skin making her shiver. Emily and I, we just fitted in every possible way. Even if my touch felt good to her though, I knew it was nothing compared to the fire the petite was lighting in me.

"Fuck Emily..." I purred. "You're such a tease… I need you now"

"I know you do…" she replied evilly smirking.

If it was even possible I felt myself become even more wet.

"You're so wet Nai" the brunette said in wonder.

"No shit Sherlock" I said sarcastically before moaning loudly when Emily teasingly brought the tip of a finger to my entrance. I guess she wanted to remind me exactly who had the upper hand. "Fuck! Ems please, I need you inside me…"

I looked at the brunette and saw her shake her head. Still, she let the tip of one finger enter me slightly before removing it and finding my clit again. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry in pleasure or annoyment. I was at her fingertips, bloody well literally at that and she was loving every second of it. I have to admit, as torturous as her teasing was, it was also incredibly irresistible. I could already tell that, when Emily would grant me with it, my orgasm would be magnificent. Just like last night hadn't been about sex but about discovering or rediscovering each other, today wasn't about sex either. Today, it felt like we were cementing this, cementing us, our union. After letting our words and our mouths meld together, we were letting our bodies do the same. Falling in their own patterns naturally. It was like our souls were already aware of the amount of love we could produce for each other and were leading our bodies to just feel that love.

I felt Emily remove her hand completely from me and I frowned and groan. She didn't let me wonder or complain too long though when she lowered her lips to my face, kissed my jaw lovingly before whispering in my ear.

"I can't be inside you before I taste you"

Her voice was sexily husky and I felt myself twinge in anticipation. Oh fuck me if I wouldn't completely lose it if Emily did just that. The petite licked my ear before lowering herself on my body. She nibbled sexily at my hip bone trailing her tongue further down. She licked the spot just between my thigh and groin and I felt my eyes roll to the back of my skull. I could barely breathe through my excitement and I needed for her to stop teasing me. I was already as much of a mumbling mess as I could be. Luckily, she didn't tease long this time and before I could utter a single word, a single plea, she brought her tongue against my wetness and trailed it down the length of my folds.

"Oh my god" I said loudly as I felt Emily's tongue retrace the same path.

My hand shot forward and lost itself in Emily's hair as I started bucking my hips against the petite's tongue. I felt her hum in pleasure as she sucked on my clit. If this wasn't the most fantastic feeling in the world, I didn't know what was. Or perhaps I would soon know. Emily brought her left hand up and cupped my breast trapping my nipple between her fingers. I wasn't even sure if I was moaning or gasping or speaking anymore. I was completely overwhelmed with the building feeling in my stomach and the burning sensation traveling my body like an electric current. Emily kept switching between long licks and small flicks and I was quite positive I had turned into a blabbering fool. Each breath coming out of my lips was a gasp or a moan, I think I had lost the ability to response any differently. I felt sure I had lost the ability to breathe properly. The petite increased her speed and she twisted my nipple between her fingers. She brought her other hand to my inner thigh and I bucked wildly in response. She grazed her nails against my skin and I think my whole body shook. When Emily finally met my wetness with the tip of her fingers, I think my consciousness just blacked out. There was nothing else that mattered but Emily, the feelings she was making me feel and my complete undeniable love for her. Then she plunged two fingers inside me and I cried out even louder.

"Oh Emilyyyyy"

I had my "I love you" on the tip of my tongue so I bit down hard on my lower lip to stop them. The petite started pumping into me as she continued putting pressure on my clit with her tongue. I wasn't even sure of what I was feeling anymore, but it was absolute bliss. For a second I thought it was actually love I was feeling. Like this was the material incarnation of love. Like Emily was reciprocating my silent "I love yous" with equally silent ones. Like, again, our souls had overridden our minds and our bodies and had taken all control.

My hands were twitching in Emily's gorgeous hair and my hips were moving against her ravenous mouth with a mind of their own. I think I was crying out expletives along with the brunette's name, but again I couldn't be sure. I was too lost in my own ecstasy. Emily started pumping faster and faster and I could feel the pressure building in every fiber of my being. I could tell that my lover could feel it as well. I could tell by the way she started moving and licking. I could tell by the seriousness that seemed to invade us.

It's then I think I realized how Emily wanted me to completely lose it, needed me to. No, this had never been just a fuck, I had had that right. This was about me putting myself bear for Emily. This was me showing her how much I had meant my earlier words, how much I had meant everything I had ever told her. And this was Emily showing that she wanted it too, wanted me in my completeness. Wanted more than just a shag on a getaway weekend. Emily wanted me. I nearly laughed then, because, really, she had always had me.

I didn't find anything better to do though than letting go of every little inch of control I could still have had and let her have it, have all of me at my weakest, let myself be completely at her mercy. And I was actually amazed when I realized I wasn't even scared. I trusted her. It didn't take long after that before I was reaching my climax, bucking my hips uncontrollably, her name slipping passed my lips repeatedly. I lost track of time and space, I lost track of every function I had that wasn't directly related to my pleasure. When I came down from my high, Emily slowly let me go before crawling up my body and settling herself on top of me.

I was heaving loudly, but automatically drew my arms around her. My hands sought her spine as my lips sought her temple. I placed a few exhausted kisses right on her hairline, tracing patterns along the length of her back with my fingers. I wanted to turn us around and reciprocate, but I actually needed a moment to compose myself. Emily had brought me to a ridiculously great high and I was still uncertain whether I was fully back or not. The petite hummed under my touch and started tracing her own patterns on my sides. We laid like that for a few seconds, just reveling in each other.

"Do you know how utterly amazing you are Emily Fitch?" I asked after a while.

The brunette chuckled and smiled in reply. Her cheeks and nose had turned a bit red and I grinned at the adorable sight. Again, I had to bite my lip to stop the "I love you" from coming out.

"But seriously Ems… this was just… I don't even think they've invented the words for what that was yet"

Emily chuckled again before moving a bit and off of me. She grabbed a blanket to cover our naked bodies and nestled into my side. Our arms wrapped themselves around each other automatically. I looked down at her and was surprised to see that she was staring at me. Her eyes were wide open and she had this expression… like she was just happy, just completely at ease. I smiled at her, letting the love poor out of my eyes. Emily dislodged a hand from our intertwined limbs and brought it carefully to my face. She let her fingers over just above my skin before softly caressing my cheek. My smile widened.

"You're so beautiful" Emily whispered her eyes shining.

She continued to caress my face, moving to my jaw line and I was suddenly reminded of a similar moment. Isn't that what she had done in the club before kissing my neck? Wasn't it what she had done just before telling me I looked so alike… someone? I had never found out what that had been about. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to bring it up, but I could feel the curiosity bubbling inside me. I needed to know…

"Ems…" I started uncertainly. "Do you remember that night in the club…?"

"Yeah, how could I forget? I wanted to jump you on the dancefloor you know" The petite replied with a smirk.

I was taken aback a bit by her bluntness, but found myself smiling nevertheless. I gave Emily a quick peck on the lips.

"That's not what I meant" I told her.

The petite acknowledged me with a nod and I continued.

"Do you remember… when we were dancing… just before…" I trailed off.

I wasn't sure how to refer to her kissing my neck so I didn't. Anyway, from the little light in Emily's eye, I could tell she had understood perfectly what I meant.

"You said… You told me I looked so… alike. You said "you look so alike"… I was just wondering… what did you mean by that?"

A flash of recognition went to the beautiful brown orbs of my love and she shifted a bit in bed. I could sense some tension growing between us and I didn't like it. Well that was to be expected mind, talking always ruined things. I reached a hand and placed it on her hip, directing the brunette close to me again.

"Did you mean… Jim?" I asked her in a whisper.

Emily flinched at the name of her husband, but quickly shook her head. I frowned a little.

"What… who did you mean then?"

The petite started biting her lip in anxiety. I could tell she didn't really want to approach the subject, but the more mysterious she was about it, the more I felt like I had to know. She looked up at me then, probably to assess how badly I wanted to know and I gave her a pleading look. She sighed loudly, closing her eyes briefly before opening them again and locking them with mine. I felt myself shiver when I recognized a hint of guilt in them.

"I've never told anyone…" she started quietly.

I squeezed her hip before carefully brushing my thumb on her skin to show her she could tell me anything. It seemed to work as Emily smiled and licked her lips before continuing.

"I… It was back when I first started Uni… I…" Emily sighed again. "You're not the first woman I've slept with" she finished hurriedly, moving her eyes from mine almost in shame.

I was startled by her statement but I wasn't at the same time. If one thing, it sure as hell explained why she had been so confident in bed and so… well, sinfully good. Seeing as I was silent, the brunette brought her eyes back up to me with an apologetic expression. I tried to smile although the thought of Emily being with someone who wasn't me was not a happy one. I nodded my head then, silently asking Emily to carry on. She did.

"Remember when I told you I dyed my hair?" she asked and I nodded. "Well it was the weekend right after that, the one right before I had that dinner home and Katie threw a fit"

I nodded again.

"I went to Uni in Portsmouth and every year there was this group of people that would throw a big party in a huge house by the beach. One of the friends I had made had been invited and in turns he was inviting us. I decided to go obviously. I hadn't gone to a party ever without Katie and I was dying to. So the night of the party, I spent ages getting ready. I wanted to make a stand you know? Prove to myself probably that I wasn't just Katie's sister, that I was me, Emily and that that was enough. I remember I had put on those ridiculously flashy blue green tights with black shorts, black flats and a loose white top. I had put on a black knitted hat because I thought it made my flaming hair even more… well red. I had spent ages putting on some light make up and curling my hair in the right way and whatnot"

Emily paused a bit and I started caressing her side. I was actually really curious about her story.

"So we all headed out for this party and it was absolutely mental. The music was a bit shit and loud as fuck. Everybody was completely buggered. I have to admit I was a bit overwhelmed. People were throwing stuff everywhere, trashing the place entirely. Others were practically having sex in front of everyone. Don't get me wrong, I had been to parties before with Katie, but being here on my own felt so much more daunting. I couldn't help thinking how Katie would throw a fit if she knew I was at such a party without her…"

Another pause, another sigh and Emily was off again.

"Then… then I saw her. I had lost sight of my mates a while ago, I was well on my way to being completely fucked off my face myself and had just been smashed by some lad when I first saw her"

Emily smiled and I could tell by her expression that she was miles away. I felt my first twinge of jealousy.

"I can still remember how fucking beautiful I thought she was. I can still see her, leaning on that wall lazily, a bottle of cheap vodka in her hand… She was wearing skinny blue jeans, a navy t-shirt saying "Maybe partying will help" in bright yellow and a pair of flip flops. She was tall and skinny, with blonde hair falling on her shoulders and had the outer most bored expression on her face. I remember staring at her then and as if she knew I was there, she turned her gaze and locked her eyes with me. I think I actually gulped when I saw she had eyes that were the clearest blue I had ever seen"

I felt my hand stop it's movements as Emily described the woman to me. It felt uncomfortable to have her describe someone who wasn't me so… lovingly. Emily seemed to get back from whatever place she had been and looked at me. She smiled apologetically before shifting closer and kissing me between the eyes. It was then I noticed I was actually frowning. I adopted an expression a bit more neutral, well as neutral as possible, before indicating her to continue.

"I don't know how long we stared at each other, but I swear I couldn't focus on anything else. Then she smirked at me and I felt something in my chest roar. I knew I had to talk to her. I had never in my life felt so bold, but I walked up to her then like it was no big deal. When I reached her level, I fumbled a bit for something to say. She was looking at me curiously, still a firm smirk in place. I set my sight on her t-shirt again and asked her

"Is it helping then?"

"What is?" she replied.

"Partying" I finished.

She laughed and I felt my heart soar at the sound.

"Not really" She said.

She was silent for a bit and then reached in her back pocket and took out a pack of fags. She asked me if I smoked. I told her I didn't. She shrugged then and said:

"Well I do" Before stepping off the wall, walking passed me and heading to the back door. Of course, I followed her. When we stepped outside, she lit up a fag before taking a swig of vodka. She handed me the bottle and I drank too"

Emily laughed and shook her head.

"The vodka was absolute rubbish and tasted like death, but her presence was unsettling me so much I drank anyway. We didn't talk, but drank in silence for a while. When her fag was out she threw it in the sand and told me she didn't feel like going back inside. I told her I didn't feel like it either and we decided to go for a walk on the beach. I had never… I think it was the first time I was ever attracted to a woman. Or at least it was the first time I was aware of it. Back in College it was always about Katie this and Katie that. I don't think I even knew what I wanted"

Emily stopped talking then. I could see a storm in her eyes. It made me sad. So much anger, so much disappointment. I don't think I had ever seen that in my Emily's eyes. And I really felt for her then. I felt for this beautiful and amazing Emily who was essentially the same person I had loved so much and been with for years in my reality, but who had led a life so different from mine. There was a pent up sadness in her, a darkness I guess that didn't exist in mine. It didn't make me love her any less though.

"What happened then?" I asked her.

I wasn't sure I really wanted to know, but I sure as hell needed to.

"We walked and started talking. I told her my name and asked her hers. She contemplated not telling me. Made me work for it. cow. Eventually she ended up saying it"

"What was it?"

"Julia…" Emily said.

I swear I could hear the love in the way Emily said it. It made me sick. I clenched my teeth and Emily continued.

"She was a psychology student at Plymouth Uni and had heard of the annual Beach House Party. She had decided to come over with acquaintances. We walked for a long time and talked and drank. She made me laugh a lot. She was a bit of a cynic. We ended up walking to a wooden gazebo. It was old and dirty and half broken. We sat in it anyway. I was so pissed drunk by then that everything was spinning. Still when I was looking at her, it all seemed to stabilize. We were silent for a moment and I think I actually shamelessly stared at her. I remember wondering for a moment if she was real so I grabbed her hand. She didn't move it. The contact was making my heart beat crazily fast. I had never felt like that before."

Emily took a big breathe and paused again.

"I don't know if it was the alcohol or the moment or whatever, but I… I looked at her and kissed her"

My heart squeezed painfully despite myself. I couldn't help it. I hated being jealous, I really did.

"It felt like a personal victory when she kissed me back" Emily continued. "I didn't even think then and just acted. I was still a bloody virgin"

The petite was blushing now.

"We shagged or maybe we made love… I'm still not sure, but it was… special. I know I wasn't all that good and I was clumsy and nervous and well pissed, but it didn't seem to matter."

Emily was silent again and I was trying to stop my heart from hurting. It wasn't that easy. I absolutely hated hearing about her "making love" to someone else, as clumsy and drunk as it my have been. I hated the idea that she had lost her virginity to some stupid psychology student. She was supposed to have lost it to me. I was supposed to be her first and always special because of it. Now I was what? Just a girl that had come along afterwards and made her cheat on her husband. But wait! Why had she married a man if she had lost her virginity to a woman? If Emily had known she liked woman in that way then, why had she still married a man? Maybe something had happened with this Julia girl…

"How long did you guys dated?" I asked in a small voice.

Emily scoffed and when I looked at her I saw that her eyes had somewhat gathered some tears. Jesus! Did that girl have such an impact on her that she could cry over it still?

"We didn't date"

"Why not?"

"She fucked off" Emily said harshly.

"She… what?"

"She just… after we were done. We laid together for a minute perhaps and then she just sprung away from me, told me it had been a mistake and started getting dressed. She was freaking out, that part was obvious. I got dressed as well, didn't bother with the tights mind, and tried to tell her she didn't have to be scared. I tried to tell her that this had meant something and that I didn't believe her. She didn't give me the courtesy of replying and just… left. I didn't even know her last name, let alone her mobile number. I never saw her again…"

"That's… shit… I'm sorry" I said slowly.

Stupidly enough I felt like I needed to personally apologize. I guess it was because I knew I had run out on her after our first time, even if it wasn't valid here. And I knew exactly how Emily had felt about it. So I knew exactly how this Emily had felt, being walked out on as well by this Julia.

"It's nothing to do with you" Emily said, her smile returning.

She shuffled closer to me to place a soft kiss of my cheek. I smiled as well. And then I remember why we had started this whole conversation.

"You think I look alike her?" I asked Emily.

"I… well…" She stammered before blushing. "Actually… when I first saw your campaign posters all those years ago, I thought… well I thought you were her."

"What?"

"I thought you were her… The first ones just had Campbell on them and I had never known her last name… But then I learned your name was Naomi not Julia… I was obsessed about it for a while… I was sure you were her… It seemed you were the same… you looked just as stunning and whenever I watched you in the news, my stomach would do flips…"

I smiled at that because I couldn't do otherwise. So much for hating me at first right?

"Don't laugh!" Emily warned.

"But it's kind of cute, you were my fangirl"

"I was not! I thought you were someone else!"

Well that took away my smile fast enough. Emily kissed me on the lips though before saying:

"It doesn't change the fact that I do think you're ridiculously sexy and attractive though"

I chuckled.

"Anyway, I looked you up, tried to see if it really was you. I dunno, maybe you could have given me a fake name or maybe your middle name. So well I looked you up. Turns out you had never even been to Plymouth and hadn't even studied psychology…"

"No… I studied politics at Bristol U"

"Yeah… and then I saw this one interview in Portsmouth where you were for campaigning purposes and you said it was your first time there… And then well… there was Sam… And you married her and well… I knew then you couldn't be Julia because Julia wouldn't just be openly gay… Not after the way she reacted with me" Emily finished sadly.

"Sorry to disappoint you" I replied bitterly.

"Hey don't say that…"

I didn't reply anything. There were so many questions in my mind now. Was this why Emily liked me then? Was I just a good imitation of her long lost love? Was this the sole appeal she had for me? I felt my heart squeeze and I clenched my teeth. I didn't like that prospect at all.

"Hey" Emily said shuffling closer again until her front was completely flushed with my side. "What's wrong?"

I hesitated a second.

"Is that it then? Is this… what I am? A ghost of her? Is this why…?" I trailed off.

"No!" Emily replied automatically. "You're not a ghost of anyone! You're just you! You can't believe I wanted you because I thought you were alike her! That's not why! Naomi… I… I… I really really like you okay?"

"Do you?" I asked vulnerably.

"I do… "

"But… I remind you of her…"

"To be honest I was pretty drunk that night. If I saw her today, she would probably look nothing like you except the blonde hair and blue eyes. I associated you with her back then because I think I wanted you to be her. I'm not thinking like that anymore. I like you for you and she has nothing to do with it. Naomi… You're…"

Emily swallowed hard and the tears were back in her eyes.

"You make me so ridiculously happy I can't… It's hard to take, okay? I… I want to be with you all the time and I can't bloody stop thinking about you. Trust me, I've tried. It's terrifying, but also utterly addicting. You're addicting"

I cupped her face in my hands and pecked her on the lips.

"You make me feel the same way" I admitted.

Emily smiled bashfully and I was relieved. She couldn't fake this look in her eyes. She was looking at me like I was the only other person in the world and it felt more than nice.

"That night in the club, I was trollied okay. I was on drugs too and I thought you and her were the same because at the moment I thought you were twins. Drugs remember? And… I didn't understand it at the time, but I do now. You make me feel something so strong… something I haven't felt since her. But the truth is if I felt it a bit with her, I feel it in tons with you. I know that now…"

I kissed her again. Fucking hell Emily was literally perfect wasn't she? I let ourselves get lost in the kiss for a moment, but then drew back. There was still one nagging feeling. Even if Julia had fucked off, I didn't understand why Emily had ended up marrying a man.

"Ems… Why… I mean, I don't want to be rude but… what about Jim? If your first time was with a girl… Are you like… Bi?"

Urgh, I hated myself to be forcing a label onto her. Emily's expression predictably darkened.

"The weekend after the party was the weekend where Katie threw a fit for my hair color… I was already devastated because of Julia and then Katie came along telling me how people wouldn't like me anymore… and I guess I just… believed her. I went back to Uni with brown hair, returned to being small little Emily, Katie's twin who's painfully introverted. I didn't make any more friends, barely even saw the ones I had, stopped talking to pretty much everyone I guess and then, in my last year of Uni, I met Jim. He was in one of my class and well he just seemed to like me. For some reason he started talking to me and flirting with me. I hadn't been flirted with in ages and well… it felt nice, he was nice. Katie came over for a weekend and we ran into him and she thought he was proper fit. She kept flashing him hints of her cleavage but he never turned his attention to her. Katie was really impressed too and urged me to date him. I did, it was easy. And well one thing lead to another. I didn't want to think about what had happened with Julia… I tried talking to Katie about it, but when I just mentioned the fact of maybe liking woman she threw such a fit that I dropped it. She told me I was lucky to have found Jim and that I should leave it at that. I just went along with it. I eventually forgot I had had feelings for a woman once. And Jim always took good care of me"

That last statement felt wrong to me because who was he? Emily's keeper? But I didn't want to push the issue too much with her. Instead, my big mouth asked something else it probably shouldn't have.

"Do you love him?"

Emily was silent for a moment. Again, tears forming in her eyes. She threw her arms around my neck and breathed me in it seemed.

"I… I'm not sure anymore. I thought I did. I mean I care about him and in a way, yeah, I love him, but… He's never made me feel like this. I had forgotten… And then you came along and… I don't think I could stay away from you even if I tried."

Her tears left her eyes to trail down her cheeks and I held her.

"Shush… It's okay" I cooed. "I… I…"

Love you, I wanted to say.

"I'm here" I said instead. "And I'm not going anywhere, yeah?"

Then I kissed her with all the passion and love I had. If I couldn't tell her, I would show her, I thought as I pushed Emily on her back among the blankets. I was ready to kiss her until our lips bruised or until our bodies were completely void of oxygen if that meant she'd see how much I loved her. Things were far from perfect, far from alright. There was still so much to talk about, but it would have to wait. For now, I loved her and I think she was realizing she loved me too. And for now, it was enough.

.

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Phewww! So much talking! This was a very slow paced chapter but things should pick up in the next. Thank you again to everyone who's still following this! I have to tell you… we're actually nearing the end. Although there are a few chapters left, we're undeniably nearing the end. So thank you if you've stuck with this for so long! Oh and a quick reminder, I still have a Polyvore for this story, but the link don't seem to work anymore on my page so you can look it up on misskeek (dot) polyvore (dot) com. Also, I now have a Tumblr account. I've created it mostly for being able to thank the people on there that mention Manifolds. It means a lot to me that you get excited enough about this story to blog about it! So you can find my page at mmekeek (dot) tumblr (dot) com. I'll be checking it regularly enough if you want to ask me something (anything) whether about Manifolds or my personal life. Go on, don't be shy. If I don't wanna answer or can't, I just won't :P Thanks again, and see you next time :)

MM xx