"Wake up!" A girl yelled. Who is yelling at me to wake up will be a shock to all of you reading this! Well, except the readers who actually read the actual book, but how many of you guys actually did that?
... Holy Ledger that's a lot.
Anyway, I quickly sat up, "STRANGER DANGER!" I yelled. I do that everytime I wake up in a weird place since yaoi became a thing, and most people in the series seem to be rapists in your... Things.
"Awesome! You're awake!" The girl cheered.
"Yep, awesome," I replied, "Now, how long have I been unconcious?"
The girl paused for a moment, "I think about... Five days?"
"So, you're telling me the Careers, who trained for their lives to fight in the Games and track down the other Contestants, didn't notice a twelve year old girl carrying around a sixteen year old girl in a totally non-sexual way?"
"... Pretty much!"
"Well, can't argue with that logic. Last chapter I met a talking squirrel!" I cheered.
"Were you high?" The girl asked.
I thought for a moment, "Probably. What's your name?"
"I'm Roo, from Sector 11." She explained.
"Roo?" I asked. She nodded, "Why are you all alone? What happened to Kanga and Winnie the Pooh?"
"Yes, I realize my name is the same as a Disney character. May we forget about that and stop making crappy jokes about it?" Roo asked.
"... If you give me some hunny." I told her. She face-palmed. This reminds me of my old conversations with Storm!
"Whatever. Let's do some hunting!"
"Wait!" I yelled, "Did anyone die when I was gone?"
"Yeah, I think some people!" Roo said, "Glimmer, Weasel Face, and Hiroki Suigimura."
"Alright- wait, Hiroki?" I said. I guess I'm gonna ignore the fact that Roo knows my name for that Weasled face girl that I have only ever said for a moment, "That name is too... Asian for this series. Who the heck is he?"
"Sorry. The rules of the internet require me to make at least one reference to Battle Royale."
"'Battle Royale'? I've never really heard of it. Is it that thing where the guy's guts spilt out?"
"Yes, but let's get back to the plot." Roo said.
"Back to the plot?! We literally had a chapter that served only to make fun of fan girls, and, may I reference this for the millionth time, last chapter I met a talking squirrel."
Roo sighed, "Wow. This is just... Ridiculous. Now I realize why Heybetch hates you so much."
Haha, Heybetch may hate me, but you don't, right? Right?! RIGHT?!
