Love
Theme: #2. news; letter
Disclaimers are on part 1
Rating: R
When Inui heard from Kamio, it was in a completely unexpected manner.
He had been expecting—been hoping--for a phone call the night before. Not having received that, Inui went through his school day, feeling like he was being tortured. Nothing seemed to penetrate, and his teachers, sensing that there was something bigger going on, didn't press Inui. Even Renji stayed away from him after apologizing again in the morning, knowing that this was something that Inui had to get through on his own.
As school let out, Inui was resigning himself to a long, lonely afternoon, when he heard someone call his name. Pausing, he heard it again.
"Inui! Don't you dare ignore me, you moron! After all that I'm doing for you…."
Inui turned around to see Kamio weave though the students and come to a halt in front of him. "Kamio…shouldn't you be at practice?"
"I told them that I had important team business." Kamio pulled Inui out of the flow of traffic, and Inui let him, unresisting.
"More lies? Hasn't there been enough of those?"
"Who's lying?" Kamio's eyes flashed at Inui. "Shinji is team business. He's miserable, and it's bringing everyone down. If he stops being miserable, then the problem will be solved."
"He…is?" Inui frowned and looked down. "That's my fault."
"Yes it is. Completely. But I'm not here for that. I'm here to give you this." Kamio thrust an envelope into Inui's hands.
Inui started at it. "What…?"
"It's from Shinji. Just read it." Kamio shook his head and walked away from Inui. "Hopeless. You two are really hopeless. I swear, I think that you two deserve each other…."
Inui gazed at the envelope, his hands shaking. His instinct was to tear it open then and there, but caution stayed his hand. If the letter said something that Inui did not want to see, he didn't want to risk having his emotions on public display. So, gripping the letter tightly, Inui ran for home as fast as he could.
Once home and shut in his room, Inui sat on his bed, staring at the envelope, but not quite able to bring himself to open it. If it says that he doesn't want me, I don't know if I can handle it….
Still, Inui knew that just sitting and staring wasn't going to answer any of his questions. So, with a shaky breath, Inui tore the envelope open and drew out the paper within, as prepared as he was going to be to read the words Shinji had written.
Dear, Sadaharu,
I wish that I hadn't stopped calling you that. I saw how much it hurt you, but I was glad for it then, and that was petty and mean of me. I don't like being petty, and I don't like hurting you.
Are you hurting right now, Sadaharu? Akira seems to think so, but he's not always the best judge, but I'll take his word for it anyway. I have to wonder if you're hurting half as much as I am right now.
Yes, I am hurting. It seems strange to say that, since I was the one that broke up with you, and you were the one that hid things from me. But I do hurt. It's like there's a hole in my soul without you there, and it aches and throbs and burns and I can't ignore it. Almost from the moment I walked away from you it started, and it gets worse and worse every minute.
You might be laughing at me right now. I know I sound dramatic and maybe even insincere, but I'm not. Even after all of that, even with the pain and the hurt that I still feel about your hiding things from me, I hurt more for losing you. I need you in my life, Sadaharu, need you like I've never needed anything before in my life.
I love you, Sadaharu. I have for awhile now, and maybe if I had just told you, a lot of this could've been avoided. I was afraid it was too soon to tell you back when I realized it, and now I'm afraid that it's too late. But I have to. I love you, and I don't want to lose you. I'd do anything, even let you be with someone else if that made you happy.
I also want to know why, and I want to know what happened there to have caused this. I want to know what I did that made you think that you couldn't tell me something. I want to fix things between us…or, if you don't want me anymore, to at least have some closure.
There's not much more that I can say to you right here. Please meet me tomorrow after school at our spot. I want to talk to you, try to fix this…or at least kiss you one last time before we say goodbye if that's your choice.
Love always,
Shinji.
Inui read the letter three times over, letting Shinji's words sink into him. "He loves me…I love him…what if we had just told each other to begin with? I…."
Inui sighed, then kissed the letter, wishing that it was Shinji's lips that he was kissing. "I only want you, and I will not say goodbye to you. Shinji…tomorrow we're going to start over and do it right.
--The End--
