Hello Everyone…
Here is the next installment in this little story of Edward and Bella. We are close to one of the moments that we all have been waiting on, the Clueless Wonder becoming not so clueless to his feelings!!
First, I want to thank my reviewers. I know I have been horrible about replying lately, but with work and all, its tough to stay awake long enough to answer them as soon as I read them. So I beg your forgiveness. You guys are wonderful. Please keep reviewing. I love hearing what you think. :)
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The Three Amigas (you still know who you are) I love you guys, and I hope you get some inspirations Sweet Pea. I know you are bummed about MS but I have faith that you will find your inspiration again. To the ladies over on twilighted… I hope you like this chapter. I send my love to pwtf, who knows?, halo, FraA, and amblovestoread… thanks for being so awesome.
Chapter 27 It's All Coming Back To Me Now Song: It's All Coming Back To Me Now – Celine Dion
Reasoning: I am not a massive fan of Celine Dion for starters. I just think that many of these lines fit the story. I could imagine Bella doing some of the things in this song. It's just tough to be fight the things you feel.
Chapter 27: It's All Coming Back To Me Now
The club continued to fill with people, and I kept listening to Tiffany and Joanne going on and on about stuff, but to be completely honest…. I really didn't care what they were talking about. That feeling that something was going to happen to me wasn't going away.
"Earth to Bella… come in Bella."
I turned to see Tiffany staring at me. I shook my head trying to push the worries from my mind, but they just would go away. They just remained cloaked in the shadows of my mind.
"What?"
"They are starting the karaoke. It won't be long till we get up there," replied Tiffany, her eyes sparkling.
Groaning, I couldn't help but think that this was the craziest thing I could do while I was here. Singing was something I did in the shower, not in public. I had sung in the car around my friends, but that was different, they were my friends. Singing on a stage in front of tons of people wasn't something that I consider to be fun. If it wasn't for Tiffany's constant nagging, I wouldn't have agreed to it. Something told me that getting up on that stage was going to end up causing something to be set into motion.
Thirty minutes later, the karaoke started. I listened to a line of drunks singing songs that they shouldn't have been singing since they couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. A couple of singers were pretty good though. I heard a variety of songs from AC/DC to songs like There's A Tear In My Beer.
Finally, the DJ announced Tiffany, she took the stage, and totally rocked singing I Hate Myself For Loving You. I couldn't help but think that it was funny how the words of that song could have fit me a few years ago. I actually hated myself for loving Edward Cullen. No matter what he did, I still loved him… and in some ways I still did. I guess old habits just die hard.
The crowd erupted in cheers and the DJ motioned for me to come on up. I stood and turned back to Joanne before I went forward. After she gave me a reassuring smile, I walked toward the stage. I wanted to give off that feeling of confidence that I saw when I looked in the mirror earlier tonight before we left the hotel, so I lifted my head high and walked like I could bend the will of any person in the club.
The whistles of the men as I walked told me that I was getting the job done. I reached the DJ and he handed me the microphone and I leaned my head forward some for a moment, letting my hair fan across my face. The music started, I felt my body start to keep rhythm with the beat. Then I began to sing… at first I was scared that I would screw up the song, but then I realized that this song was the song that I had always wanted to sing to Edward, but never had the opportunity to do. As I sang, I didn't focus too much on anyone in the club, I wanted to keep my mind in the song, letting the words come from me, expressing everything that I wanted to say but never had the courage to say until this point.
When the final chords of the song ended, the club erupted in applause and cheers, and I couldn't help but feel the blush that I had been keeping under wraps from coming forward.
"Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Bella!" Yelled the DJ from his own microphone.
The crowd continued to cheer while I took a slight bow and headed back toward my seat. Both my friends had cheesy smiles on their face, so I knew I was in for a "why don't you sing for a living, Bella" comments.
"You were awesome, Bells," started Joanne.
"Come on guys, I sing in the shower, nothing else," I replied.
"I'll say this, our girl has got the guys in the club all hot and bothered by her little song and maybe that hot dress too," laughed Tiffany.
I looked around the club and I noticed that there were many pairs of eyes watching me, most of them from the male sex. I shook my head and pushed the thoughts from my mind.
"Doesn't matter though, I have a boyfriend… remember."
"Who isn't your fiancé so you can look… but no touching," laughed Joanne.
Typical Joanne. She just had a way of looking at things. Even though she knew I would never do anything like that to Jake, she would always suggest something like that.
For the next hour, we continued to listen to the singing when we noticed a waitress coming over to our table, a tray of drinks in hand. She stopped at our table and sat them down.
"Excuse me, we didn't order any drinks," I stated as she tried step away from the table.
"A man at the bar ordered them for you and he wanted me to deliver a message to you," she answered, confusing me a little.
She stepped forward and leaned to my ear to whisper the message.
"The man said to tell you that your best friend says hello and he will see you in Forks."
I felt all the blood falling from my face and I felt my heart stop for a split second. Edward…
Turning I looked to the bar. My eyes raced down the bar searching for him. It didn't take me long to realize that he wasn't there anymore. I then turned to the next thing that I could think of doing. I searched the room and it was when my eyes fell on the door, that I saw him.
His eyes were locked with mine. I couldn't move, couldn't think, I couldn't do anything but look into his eyes. Their emerald depths had me stuck where I was sitting. He looked like Edward, but there was something more in his eyes… maturity, hurt, I couldn't really tell. All I knew was that I knew deep down that I could stare into those eyes forever, and never bat an eye.
I watched him shake his head and push the door open and leave the club. My mind was in shock that he was in the club, and he never said a word to me. Why would he do that?
"Bella…"
I turned to see worry in my friends eyes. I turned back to look at the door again, though I knew he was already gone.
"Bella, what the hell is going on here?"
Tiffany was getting annoyed that I seemed to be ignoring them, but my mind wasn't processing things like they should. It was horrible. I hadn't laid eyes on Edward Cullen in almost four years and now I see him and it was like it was before I left Forks.
"That was Edward," I replied.
They both looked at each other for a moment and looked back to me.
"That was Edward Cullen?? Is that the guy that you fell in love with and eventually broke your heart, Edward Cullen?" Asked Joanne.
I couldn't answer with words so I nodded in response.
"Go after him," yelled Tiffany.
I jumped from my seat and ran for the door. I didn't know why Tiffany thought I should go after him. I knew he was still with Tanya and nothing had changed between us, but I was still running for the door. Pushing the door open, I stood under this solitary light that lit the doorway up for people to come and go from the club and I searched for him. The streets were dark and even if he was on the street, I wouldn't be able to see him. As I started to walk back to the club, I heard a motorcycle start in the distance and it became quieter as it drove away from the club.
Standing there, I thought about everything. Edward had been there. He saw me and possibly even heard me sing and he never said a word. Why? I knew from what Alice had told me over time that he wanted to talk to me all the time and he had the chance to do it now and he didn't? Was he a coward to face me? Or was I the coward for never wanting to come back to Forks to face him in the first place. This was just too much to deal with at the moment.
I went back inside the club to find my friends were sitting there quietly waiting for my return. When I sat back down, my expression on my face must have spoke a million words to how I was feeling.
"You couldn't find him?" Asked Tiffany.
"Nope. He was gone," I muttered.
"Damn him. You were doing so well with everything and now he had to come and ruin everything," spat Joanne.
"What the hell does that mean?" I asked.
Joanne and Tiffany looked at each other again before Joanne turned her attention back to me.
"Honey, you are not over that guy. You are never going to be over him and from the expression in his eyes, he isn't over you either."
Over me? We were never together so how could he over me in the first damn place.
"We were never together," I stated coldly.
Both of them started to laugh and I wanted nothing more than to hit both of them for laughing at me, especially since I had no idea why they were.
"Bella, you may have never officially been together, but that guy was acting like he was longing for you just by the look in his eye… and you thought you didn't have any power over him," chuckled Tiffany.
Longing? Edward didn't long for me. He had Tanya. Tanya may be a witch but she had a body that would please any guy, so why would Edward Cullen long for plain ol' Bella Swan. Plus, I had a wonderful guy that loved me dearly, so why was the idea of Edward longing for me sending chills down my spine and making my heart flutter like a million butterflies were living within my chest.
"Come on Bella, you can't tell us that you don't think about him… not that we would blame you in the least, your description of him doesn't compare with how he really looks," giggled Joanne.
"Guys, cut it out. I don't feel that way about Edward anymore. I have Jake and I love him. I am just going to have to learn how to be civil with Edward now. Especially with it being Alice's wedding and all. The most we will ever be is friends and I am okay with that."
The words hurt when I said them. Somewhere deep in my heart, there was a part that still longed for Edward Cullen's touch, but it knew better than to surface anymore. Sighing, I looked down that the round of drinks that Edward had bought to see that my friends had already drank theirs so I quickly downed my drink.
"I guess we should get the party pooper home," frowned Tiffany as she stood up.
"Guess so, she doesn't seem like a party person anymore," answered Joanne.
Standing I followed my friends out of the club and back to the hotel. They quickly changed into pajama pants and tanks and I followed suit. By the time I stepped out of the bathroom both of them were deep in some conversation about the sights that they wanted to see before we left Seattle for Forks. The only thing I wanted now was quiet so I slipped onto one of the beds and pulled the covers around me and I stared up at the ceiling for a while.
I couldn't help but think about how Edward was looking at me. Was it longing like Tiffany and Joanne stated or maybe it was just shock of seeing me after so much time. All I knew was that I couldn't dwell on it. I rolled over to my side and closed my eyes, but when I shut them all I could see were Edward's emerald eyes. I don't know how long I stayed there like that, seeing only his eyes, but slowly I slipped into a dreaming slumber, staring my long lost best friend.
The Next Day…
Seattle wasn't something that I was really excited to see, but Tiffany and Joanne had never been here so I acted as if I was excited. The thought of going to Forks by the afternoon wasn't something that I was really looking forward to. So, putting on a smiling face, I tried to act happy.
I took them to all the normal tourist spots and around noon we had seen what they wanted to see so that meant it was time to pack up from the hotel and head toward Forks. While putting my stuff back in my suitcase, I began to ask myself a lot of questions. How was I going to handle Edward? I couldn't go back in there and act like nothing had happened all those years ago. The fact was those four years had past and we hadn't spoken a word to each other. Many would think it was childish on my part, but I would have to disagree. I just couldn't handle it so I figured it would be better for the both of us to cut the ties. Well, maybe it was a little childish…
"So, are we going to see your friend, Alice, first?"
My thoughts were jolted back to what was going on around me.
"No, going to the house first, I figured that we needed to get our stuff unpacked before we see Alice. She may never let us out of her sight after we get there," I giggled.
"Sounds like she's an interesting one," replied Tiffany.
"That is an understatement. You should meet Rosalie. They are so much alike."
While they talked, I was loading the luggage back in the Jeep and we were on the road within minutes.
"The way that you talk about them, they seem like they are completely opposite of you. How could you be friends with people like that?" Asked Joanne.
"They say opposites attract, I guess. They really aren't that different from me, with the exception of the shopping obsession."
After that, my friends started to talk to each other again, leaving me with my thoughts again. I quickly moved on to how I would be dealing with Tanya. I wasn't stupid. I knew she hated me, and Alice and Rose had on numerous occasions told me so. I couldn't help but laugh mentally when they told me that she was screaming and ranting about me at times, calling me a bitch in every other sentence. Alice had faith that I could handle her though. I hoped she was right, because I didn't really want to deal with her too much.
When the Forks city limit sign came into view, I felt my breath catch in my throat. I was back. Back in the place that I had sworn I would never come back to. It was the very place that haunted me, even in my dreams. Forks… home sweet home.
As I drove through town I couldn't help the flood of memories that came to me. I passed the high school, the places that I had hung out with the Cullens and Hales. It was when I turned down my old street that I felt the tears streaming down my face.
"Bella, you okay?"
I glanced in the rearview mirror to see Tiffany looking at me, worried.
"I'm fine. I am just overwhelmed being back here I guess. I haven't been here in almost four years, and its strange coming back and my dad isn't here," I answered, hoping she would leave it alone.
Pulling up in the driveway, I looked up at the house, and sighed. It looked the same, exactly like it did when I left four years ago. Stepping out of the rental Jeep, I stepped toward the front steps, but I paused to look out to the place that I used to call home. Turning around I fumbled with the keys that were in my pocket and pushed the key in and turned it. Reaching for the knob, I pushed the door open and felt along the wall for the light switch, and I pushed it up to see the house.
The house wasn't the same, but not completely different. I could tell that Alice and Rose had made some changes to the house so that I wouldn't be as uncomfortable. Tiff and Joanne were coming in while I stood taking in the place. I quickly walked to the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator to see that they had even stocked it for me. They were hoping that I would stay a while.
"This house is amazing, Bells. This is where you grew up?" Questioned Tiffany.
"Yeah, this is home."
I showed them around the house and led them into the extra bedroom. They left me alone and I walked down the hall and pulled open the door to my bedroom. It was like I was walking into a time warp. It was as clean as it was the day I left and my pictures still scattered the room. The shelves shined back with all the memories that I had been trying to forget, but all the feelings, all the memories, were flooding my thoughts.
My phone began to ring in my pocket, causing me to shake my head and pull it from my pocket. Not looking, I flipped it open.
"Hello."
"I never thought you would answer me."
My eyes went wide when I realized who it was that answered back.
"Edward?"
"I guess you haven't forgotten me completely then." He chuckled.
I stood there, trying to figure out what to say. Did I want to yell, or was I going to melt into his words like I used to do? No. I wasn't going to do that. I was stronger than that.
"What do you want, Edward?" I asked, annoyed.
"Alice was wondering if you were here yet."
"Why didn't SHE call then?"
"I told her I would. Are you here yet?"
"I think you probably know the answer to that," I snapped.
The line was silent for a moment. I wondered if I had made him mad enough that he would hang up on me.
"Bella…"
The way that my name sounded made me want to swoon, but I couldn't. It shouldn't. Only one man could make me feel that way. Jake… I love Jake. Not Edward… I thought.
"I got to go. Good bye, Edward."
I flipped the phone shut and stood there as silent as possible. I wanted to cry. I wanted nothing more than to scream to the heavens. He still had that power over me. That man was never going to loose that power over me. Mostly, I couldn't understand how I could still feel this way about a man that hadn't spoken a word to me for four years when I had a man that worshiped me in everyway.
I threw myself down on the bed and pushed my face down into the pillow. I didn't want move, I just laid there motionless. I wanted to hide… no, forget that, I wanted to run again. I wanted nothing more than to go back to Seattle and get on a plane and head home to Jake and my job, but I couldn't. I was stuck here. I was stuck here with a man that could bend me to his will at any moment, without even trying. I'm doomed.
A Week Later…
I had been lucky. I had been in Forks for almost a week and I hadn't crossed paths with Edward or Tanya yet. The Cullens came over the night that we arrived and I had spent most of my time with Rose and Alice in hopes of getting everything ready for the wedding.
Tiffany and Joanne were enjoying the Cullens and I was having so much fun being back with them. I received a call from Jacob every evening and I quickly realized how much I missed him while I was here. He told me that he and Kat would be flying in on the same flight for the wedding and that I would be seeing him soon. I couldn't wait.
The fear of crossing paths with Edward never left though. I stayed away from the Cullen house like it was infested with the plague. Alice knew what I was doing, and she kept telling me it was going to be a matter of time before I crossed paths with her brother and it was getting close to time for the rehearsal. Plus they were having a gathering at the Cullen house… a sort of engagement party. To say I was dreading it would be the understatement of the year.
So the night of the engagement party, I did my hair in large curls letting them fall in curly waves down my back, with a few strands framing my face. Slipping into this black evening dress, I put on some make up and looked at myself in the mirror. I couldn't help but think how ordinary that I was going to look in comparison to my friends and to Edward's fiancé.
Sighing I went to my old jewelry box in search of something to compliment the dress I was wearing. I quickly found the jewelry that I wore to the prom. I smiled, as I put in the earrings, bracelet, and necklace and I realized how beautiful the pieces were. The silver shined against my skin and accented the dress very well.
"You ready?"
I looked to see Joanne standing in a light pink dress just outside my doorway.
"Ready as I will ever be," I replied.
Going down the stairs was a challenge, since I was in high heels, but I made it without killing myself. Locking the house, we loaded up in the Jeep and headed for the Cullen house. I was worried. Actually I was beyond worried. Especially since I knew the bitch would be there. More than anything, I didn't want to face Edward, at least not yet. I wasn't sure how to handle Edward. Mainly because I feel horrible about how I left Forks all those year sago.
Driving up the long drive to the Cullen house, made me sick at my stomach, since I never thought I would step foot in that house again. The lights shined in the distance and I could see that my friends were amazed with how big it was and how elegant it was compared to places at home.
After parking the Jeep, I stepped out to be met by Esme and Carlisle. I really missed them. I stood talking to them while many others were coming in and were being greeted just inside the door by Jasper and Alice. I looked around to see if I could find the object of my nervousness, but he was no where in sight. I was about to take a sigh of relief when I saw Tanya descending the stairs. Her blonde hair was sweeping down her back in waves and her dress was a tight fitting violet that was extra short along with thigh high black stiletto boots. The only word that I could use to describe her was a slut.
When she reached the bottom of the stairs she finally saw me standing there, and her eyes went ice cold. I knew I was in for a long night now. I told Esme and Carlisle that I would see them later as I went into the house to find Joanne and Tiffany. As I passed by her, I could see that she was trying to flash her engagement ring in front of me, trying to get a rise from me. Unlike her, I didn't care that much about a stupid engagement ring. I wanted nothing more than to walk up to her and hit her in the face.
I found the table that had the drinks on it and I quickly lifted the glass to my lips, hoping and praying that I could get enough to drink before I had to deal with Tanya.
"Hello Bella."
Damn it! I thought.
"Hello Tanya. How are you?" I asked, trying to seem polite.
"I'm wonderful. Life couldn't get any better. I think Edward and I are going to be setting a wedding date soon."
Again, I was fighting the urge to hit her, but I kept my cool. I didn't want to ruin this party for Alice and Jasper, though they would be totally understanding of my anger.
"I know he will make you happy," I said, trying to back away from her.
I turned and heading in a straight line for the back door when I heard her following me. When I reached the back door, I saw a hand push the door closed to prevent me from getting away from her. I turned to face her. Her eyes were cold but could have burnt a hole in me if that was actually possible.
"You are not going to have him."
"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked.
"Don't play stupid with me. You want my fiancé and I am not going to let you have him. Go off and play house with that old man of yours," she sneered.
"For starters," I said, my anger rising, "I don't want Edward nor does he want me because he asked YOU to marry him. Second, don't talk about my boyfriend. You don't know a damn thing about Jake."
She took a step toward me and pushed me against the door.
"You may be fooling everyone here, but I know you want him. Try anything, and I will destroy you."
She turned and walked toward a group of people that I didn't know. I pulled the door open and walked out into the back yard. I couldn't help but scream out in frustration.
"What's wrong, Jingle Bells?"
I turned around to see Edward standing behind me. His eyes were studying mine and I wanted nothing more than to grab him by the throat and strangle him to death.
"Where you going to tell me that you were there or were you going to make me look like a fool like you did at the club?"
"I didn't know it was you in the club until the DJ mentioned your name and I looked at you really close."
"That's bull you and you know it," I stated.
"Bella, you don't look the same… like now. You were the girl that didn't wear a dress unless she had to and now it's like you were them so freely."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I knew it was so high school like, but it was the perfect response.
"That kind of stuff happens when we grow up, Edward. I'm not the same girl that I was then."
He walked toward me slowly and stopped when he was standing beside me. I could feel the heat radiating off his body, and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him, but I refrained from it.
"I know. You don't know how much I know."
"What are you talking about?" I asked a little confused about what he had said.
"Bella, I have made mistakes in my life and I wish that I could take them back and do them again. Like the whole situation with Tanya, I wish I would have told you about her before the night that I dropped her on the whole family."
"Doesn't matter, its done and over with," I said trying to keep him from continuing.
"It does matter. Bella, that moment cost me your friendship. Something that was very important to me. You don't know how badly I have felt about that."
I walked out away from him a bit. Being so close to him was making it difficult to think.
"Edward, it isn't time for what ifs. The fact is what is done is done. We can't play these games that say how we would do things differently if we had the chance. There is no point. A person only has to come to terms with what they did and move on from it."
"It doesn't mean that I am not sorry though, Bella."
The words broke my heart again. He was sorry. Sorry for hiding something so important to him or that his actions caused a break in a friendship that we both though was indestructible.
"Sorry for what? Sorry that you seemed to forget to tell your best friend that you had a girlfriend… sorry that you made me so angry that I couldn't say goodbye to the people that were like my family… sorry that you pushed me to the point that I couldn't even tell you that I was going away to college… WHAT are you sorry for, Edward??" I exclaimed.
He studied me for a moment and he walked toward me. I couldn't look at him so I looked at the ground and hoped that I could get my emotions in check.
The sound of steps on the ground told me that he was walking toward me and it was when I saw the shadow on the ground that I realized how close he really was to me. I felt his hand touch my face and bring it back to eye level. His eyes shined with how sad he was something I didn't want to see.
"Bella, I am sorry that I didn't tell you about Tanya. I'm sorry that I hurt you so much that you ran away from Forks, leaving all of us behind, but mostly Bella, I am sorry that was a coward that I didn't try to fix this before now. You are my best friend, the person that could figure me out without even trying, and I miss you. I have missed you so much, and I haven't been the same without you here. So, I am begging for your forgiveness because I can't live without your friendship or you being in my life in some way."
My eyes watched his face as he spoke, trying to find out how sincere he was about his words. There was no doubt in my mind that he was sincere about what he was saying, but I wasn't sure how I could take the words that he was saying. Too much had happened in my life, I just couldn't let him back in as it was before I left, but… I could let him in slowly…
"Edward… it can't be exactly the same as before. Too many things have happened to us since I left. You are engaged, I have a boyfriend that loves me…"
"Bella, I am not asking for exactly what we had before then, but the chance to prove to you that I am sorry and the opportunity for us to try to be friends again."
I stood there thinking. Could we be friends again? Could we deal with the fact that we both have significant others now and have them not get upset about the other? Would Jake be okay with me being friends with Edward with everything he knows about how I felt about him?
"We can try… but I am not making any promises. I just have one request."
He looked at me and smiled.
"Anything, Bells…"
"Keep your damn fiancé in check."
His expression showed his confusion and he was wondering why I asked that.
"What did she do to you?" He asked.
"She jumped me in the house earlier, and I don't appreciate it. Next time I will send her scrawny rear flying. Understand?"
"Don't worry about Tanya. I'll deal with her," he said with a smile.
We stood outside and watched the stars start to shimmer from above us. It was like old times. We never spoke, but it was different too. It was like we were learning about each other again at the same time. Time had changed us, but it was like we could just start again like no time had passed between us.
Edward moved over to me and put his arm around me and I leaned into his shoulder.
"Thank you," he whispered.
"For what?" I asked.
"For making my world right again."
I couldn't help but laugh. We stood outside the rest of the night and talked. I told him about my life, and how happy I was, and he told me some things that had happened to him as well. It wasn't until Joanne and Tiffany came out to tell us that the party was wrapping up that we had to say our goodbyes to each to each other.
Edward walked me to the Jeep, and I could see Tanya standing inside the house glaring at me. When I shut the door to the Jeep, and put it in reverse, I knew I was in for a long line of questions from my friends. I answered them as simply as possible, not giving them anything more than what they needed to know. I knew them. They would make more out of the time that I spent with Edward than it really was.
I knew that the rehearsal would go better now. At least I would be able to stand in a room with Edward and not be nervous about what could happen. We were now civil with each other. The only issue was that every time he got near… my heart would do flip flops.
Day Before The Wedding
"At least you don't have to wear a dress."
"Try wearing a monkey suit."
This was typical conversation between Edward and me. We both hated to dress up and he was happy to know that I wasn't completely different from when we were in high school.
"At least you will have more material covering your body. I will look horrible in it."
"You will look amazing… I will be one of those guys in a monkey suit."
I couldn't help but laugh. It was nice knowing that I could talk to him like this again. It was very relaxing.
We were standing in the same church that Emmett and Rosalie got married in and the coordinator was getting all worked up about all the extra things that Alice wanted to add into the wedding ceremony. I, on the other hand, was just worried about getting up aisle and back.
"Edward…"
I heard the sickeningly sweet voice of his fiancé and it made me want to hurl.
"Yeah," he answered.
"When are you going to be done with this silly rehearsal?" She asked.
"When Alice says so."
Edward turned his back on her and I saw her glare at me since I was standing so close to him. I turned my back on her and went back to listening to Alice talking to the pastor and the wedding coordinator.
"Your fiancé is giving me death looks," I whispered low enough only Edward could hear me.
"Let her, she is just in a bad mood today."
I shook my head. I found out that Edward and Tanya's relationship was far from being a traditional one, actually it probably could be better described as an absolute train wreck.
"Hey, we are going this wedding a little different," started Alice as she walked toward us.
"Different how?" I asked.
"The guys are going to be standing at the front and each bridesmaid is going to walking alone but will be escorted out by one of the groomsmen."
I couldn't help but think that this was bad since I was going to be cursed to walk in stilettos… alone.
"It won't be that bad, Bella," laughed Alice.
I was betting my expression was telling her that I was worried. Edward poked me in the side and I looked up to see his reassuring smile.
"Okay, folks, lets get this show on the road," started the coordinator.
I watched as she showed the guys were they would be standing and the door that they would be coming into the sanctuary from. I laughed as Edward looked uncomfortable standing next to Jasper. He looked over at me and he smiled with a glint of mischief in his eyes. He was up to something.
The coordinator was back in the hall of the church and lined us all up and we did a quick walk through of us walking into and out of the church. Then we went through the motions with the music. It wasn't horrible, but I was still in regular shoes at the moment, and tomorrow was going to be a challenge.
As soon as Alice released us from the duties for the night, we learned that we were going to a local restaurant for a rehearsal dinner. I could tell from the expression on Tanya's face that she wasn't happy that Edward was going to have to spend more time with me. Luckily, I drove myself and I didn't have to ride in a vehicle with them. Tiffany and Joanne were along for the ride so I knew that I at least I had some back up in the event that Tanya went crazy on me.
"It's nice to see that you and Edward are getting along."
I looked over at Joanne and rolled my eyes and didn't respond. I could hear Tiffany giggling from the backseat though.
"Come on, Bella. You know that you still have a little thing for him."
"No, I don't. I have Jake. I care about him and he cares about me."
Speaking of Jake, I heard my phone start to ring, his name flashing on the caller ID.
"Hey baby."
"Hey Bells. Kat and I just arrived and we will be arriving in Forks in an hour or so. Are you going to be at the house?"
"No, got this rehearsal dinner to go to. You have a key right?"
"Yeah, I have the one that you gave me and Kat just told me that she has a copy too. I can't wait to see you, baby. I have missed you."
"I miss you too. I'll see you in a bit. Bye."
I heard him hang up so I flipped my phone shut.
"Jake?" Asked Tiffany.
"Yeah, Jake and Kat will be at the house when we get there."
"I wonder what he is going to think of you and Edward being friends again."
"He knows. I told him the other night."
"And?"
"He is worried that he will hurt me again. He also told me that he would rip out Edward's heart if he tried to hurt me."
"I wonder if he would if he realized that you still have a thing for Edward…"
I slammed on the brakes and turned to look at my friend.
"I do not have a thing for Edward. I am happy with my boyfriend and I am not going to do anything to ruin it."
"Alright, Bella. I won't mention it again," Tiffany whispered before she dropped her head to look at her lap.
We arrived at the restaurant not long after everyone else did. I went inside and I sat at the far end of the table, away from Edward. He gave me a strange look when I did, but he didn't question me about why I did it. I tried to eat, but I could feel Tanya's glares of death on me, so I just forgot trying to eat. I talked to Alice about getting our hair done tomorrow and lots of other things, but I couldn't get Tiffany's comments about Edward out of my head. Just being here in Forks around him has changed me yet again. It was like all the things that I wanted to push away from me were coming back with full force. All the feelings that I had, were starting to creep back into my mind, and Edward was even starting to become the star of my dreams again.
This place… it was turning me back into that girl. I didn't want to do that though. I was Bella Swan… soon to be author and published writer. I had to stay strong. I wasn't going to let this place turn me back into that weak girl. I could do that. I would be strong and keep Edward from consuming my life again.
I said good night to my friends and Tiffany and Joanne followed me to the Jeep and we headed back to the house for the night. I just wanted to sleep. I needed the rest. When we got there we saw another rental car so I knew that Jake and Kat had made it in, and I was glad. I needed Jake. I needed him to be near me to keep me from acting on these foolish emotions that I was feeling.
The lights were off, and I could see Kat was crashed out on the couch and I said good night to my friends as they headed into the extra bedroom. As I went into my room, I saw Jake sprawled out on the bed, so I pulled off my clothes and pulled on a pair of shorts and tank before crawling onto the bed with Jake.
He moved over a little and I felt his arm slip around me. I normally would have liked the feeling, but it felt strange.
"Hey you," he whispered.
"Hey."
"I missed you."
"Missed you too."
Sighing, I heard him settling to go to sleep. Me… I couldn't sleep. Even with me being so tired, sleep was avoiding me. Every time I close my eyes all I could see was a pair of emerald eyes staring back at me. I thought about everything… how much I cared about both men, and I realized that even after all this time, I still cared about Edward. I cared about Jake though. It was just way too complicated.
I looked over to my night stand to see my prom picture and I smiled. It was like my mind was going back in time to that night, the night that everything was simple and not so complicated. A time that I still had hope that maybe Edward would love me and one day we would be together, not now. Not a time that had him engaged to another woman and me with another man.
Slipping into my slumber, I could see Edward and Jake standing in front of a church, me in a beautiful dress. Both men were in silken tuxedos looking at me like they were waiting for me to make a choice… a choice of who I should be with. That was crazy though. Edward didn't feel that way about me. I would be marrying Jacob someday though. I knew he thought that much of me and he wanted me that way. So why did I still feel like this wasn't a dream, but something that was going to come one day?
