Sam finished making the gravy drained the vegetables into dishes which were taken into the dining room where we all sat down for a long overdue family conversation and a happy Thanksgiving.
Bobby was at one end of the table with Will on his left and me on his right. Cole was sitting between Will and Dean while Aidan was sitting between Sam and I. This meant that Will and I could feed the boys. At the other end of the table was John which meant that he was sitting between his two boys. Will carved the turkey as the vegetables and potatoes were passed around the table. During the boys 6 month check up the Paediatrician had said that we could start to introduce solids into their diets, so when the vegetables reached Will and I, we each took out some carrots and cut them down for the boys to eat. We put them into the bowls that were sitting next to our plates to cool down before giving them to the boys to eat. After everyone had their meals I decided that we should go around the table and say what we were thankful for. There were some grumbles from Dean who thought this was a stupid idea but after a clip around the back of his head agreed to take part.
I started with "I'm thankful that I have my family in my life for the first time in over 25 years and that everyone is healthy and happy."
Will followed "I'm thankful that Toni agreed to marry me and that our twins are safe and healthy. That I still have Bobby in my life as an anchor and that I've been welcomed into the Winchester clan by Sam and Dean."
Bobby followed with "I'm thankful that Will and Toni have allowed me to become as much of their family as John did with Sam and Dean. That I have the opportunity to get to know Cole and Aidan and help the hunting community in my own special way."
Sam followed with "I'm thankful that we know our family that I've been able to go back to school and still keep hunting. I'm especially thankful that the threat to Dean has gone and that Lilith and Azazel are dead."
Dean followed with "I'm thankful that we managed to kill the thing that killed Mom, that Lilith is dead and no longer after any members of my family."
John finished with "I'm thankful that my family has finally got the opportunity to meet and have connected in a way that I could only dream of. I'm also thankful that Dean and Sam will get to lead the lives that I always wanted for them. That they hunt because they want to and not because they have to or that they are pursuing my vengeance."
After everyone had gone around the table we ate the meal and the discussion was kept very general. Every time that John started to talk about why he was here Dean would stop him and say "Not now Dad. We need to wait until Cole and Aidan are out of the room as I'm not sure that I can hold my temper and we don't them in the room if I do as things are likely to get dangerous with knives in the vicinity of a telekinetic." I could feel the emotions coming from Dean at that moment and knew that he only had Cole's best interests at heart. I looked up at him and said "I know that you love your cousin but it doesn't matter if he is here or upstairs in his nursery he is going to pick up on his brother's emotions and things will start to fly." Dean looked at me and said "I know but upstairs it's soft toys and stereos that he can turn on and off down here there are knives, forks and glasses that can do people real damage." "Alright" I said "If it'll make you more comfortable we will wait until the boys are in bed and then discuss why John's back." Dean nodded and said "Thanks for understanding."
We finished the meal and Dean and Sam offered to put the boys to bed while Bobby and John cleared the table. In the kitchen I put on a pot of coffee and set up a tray with some glasses for brandy, scotch or port and mugs for coffee and then walked into the living room followed my Bobby, Will and John where we met Dean and Sam. Dean, Sam and I poured ourselves a mug of coffee, while Bobby and Will went for the scotch and John for the brandy. Dean started the conversation by saying "Ok, the boys are in bed. Now Dad why are you here and how long for?"
John reached forward took a large swig of brandy before he started to explain "I'm only here for tonight. The reason I'm here is nothing bad. I'm not here for your Aunt and yes Toni it was really me that you saw after Lilith's attack. I've been given the opportunity to set some things straight and give you all a heads up.
Dean, firstly I should never have told you may need to kill your brother, and then leaving you alone to deal with that while I handed over the colt and myself to Azazel." Dean went to say something and John held his hand up and said "Dean, please let me get this out and then we can all talk. Sam, I know in Manning, Colorado we moved forward in our relationship and then I tell Dean that he may need to kill you. That wiped out any trust you had in me, I never meant to hurt you but I didn't have all the facts when I said that to Dean. I just knew that Azazel had visited you in the nursery and dripped blood in your mouth. I knew about the visions and I knew about the gifts in the Winchester family."
As he said that he looked from Sam to me and then back again. "I thought at the time when Azazel dropped the blood in your mouth it would corrupt your powers as you didn't have anyone to guide you. I know that is my fault, I took you away from anyone who could have taught you how to manage them and use them for good. I was afraid and after 23 years of fighting evil, my automatic fallback position was slash and burn. I know that is no excuse but it was where my head was at when I told Dean what I told him. I am also ashamed that I told Dean this at the same time as telling him how proud of him I was of him. I am Dean, you are an amazing man and that has very little to do with me and is all about you.
Sam you are amazing man as well and again that has little to do with me and has everything to do with Dean and how he raised you. I gave you the tools to protect yourself but Dean gave you the strength to strike out on your own and the confidence to show your emotions without it being thrown back in your face.
Bobby, I appreciate that you have become a father to my boys. You are a point of contact that they know that they can go to and someone that will help with research.
Will, you are the man that I always wished Toni would meet, someone to take care of her and protect her with his own life. I only wished that I had, had the opportunity to do the big brother thing, so for what's worth here it is now. Take care of my little sister, if anything happens to her you know that I'll be after you and as I am no longer earth bound you know that that could be bad.
Toni, we spoke in the kitchen so you know how I sorry I am about what happened when you were young and how much I regret not seeing you or talking to you for so many years. I have always been watching over you in my own way and was there for all the major events in your life even if you didn't know it. When the gates to hell opened and I managed to get through, after Azazel was killed and I moved on I was given the opportunity to become the boys' guardian angel. I will always be there for them and for you. If you need me at any time all you need to do is recite this incantation and I will be back."
During the conversation I could feel the tension in the room raising and dropping, I tried as hard as I could to project a calming influence around the room in order to keep everyone centred and my boys asleep. As tough as this evening was turning out to be we didn't need to be tidying up a nursery and calming down two agitated young boys. Sam and Will realised what I was doing, Sam walked across the room and sat next to me on the couch. Will leant in and said "Toni, you need to stop this, you are only going to hurt yourself and us. We need to be able to feel these emotions. I know that you're concerned about Aidan and Cole, but we will all make sure that they are safe and protected. No one in this room is going to let their emotions get out of control." As Will finished speaking, a three way staring contest was happening, Sam was looking between his brother and his father warning them to keep their tempers, and Dean was looking at Sam and John doing exactly the same thing.
Dean started very calmly and said "Dad you've had your say, now it's my turn. I followed your orders my whole life. From the time that you put Sam in my arms and sent me out of the house, to cutting him out of our lives when he left for Stanford, and then leaving him at the side of the road to go hunt the Vanir in Indiana, I did everything that you told me. When I was lying in that hospital room, do you know that I saw you sitting there watching me, you didn't say anything to me, you just sat there. Did you think that I couldn't hear you? That I didn't need to hear that you were proud of me? That I was an ass for letting the demon get the better of us, but you just sat there. Then you gave up, you handed the colt and yourself over to the thing that killed Mom, possessed you and tried to kill me. Did you think at all about the effect that would have on me or were thinking only about yourself? Did you really think through what you asked me to do? Did you think that after looking after Sam for over 25 years that I could actually kill him? Was that the plan? At the end of the day did you know that I would do anything to save him, whereas at the first sign that you thought he was turning you would have put a bullet in him?"
John looked at Dean with tears in his eyes, and I could feel the pain in his heart as he realised how much his son had had to deal with and how much he had really laid on his shoulders.
