Note: Thank you kindly for your reviews! They make the writing process really fun. I started writing this chapter and found I had reached almost 12,000 words! I decided to break it up in at least two chapters, maybe three.
Butterflies in the Stomach
It's a long journey to Denerim, during which I mastered flying. I found ways of passing time that never failed to amuse me and annoy my companions. Landing on Alistair's head when he was wearing his helm and pecking on it until he yelled was amusing. Hanging out on Zevran's shoulder was just fun simply because of all the terrible puns he made about us both being crows. I found out Sten has lice so I'd pick them out of his cornrows. I think we even bonded a little over that experience. I stayed far from Wynne because she threatened to shoot me out of the sky if I bothered her as a crow. Morrigan and I had daily mid-air dog fights. The winner was determined by whoever could snatch a feather out of the other. I never won a single one, but she insisted that we practice, just in case I had to make emergency maneuvers to escape a predatory bird. Personally, I think she just like proving her superiority over me time and again.
At night I often told stories from earth to my companions. Vampires were a big hit, as were werewolves, they told me there actually were werewolves in Ferelden at one time. I thought they might be having one on me. Frankenstein's monster was a little more difficult for them to grasp, since it had a lot of Victorian era technology in it. But they enjoyed my stories. I would have loved to introduce them to sci-fi, but that was probably a bit much for them.
Leliana and I both worked on Alistair to try to find out how things had gone with Kaitlyn. We found out that kisses had been exchanged and promises of more in the future. Judging from the way she had looked at him, it was pretty much perfect. She seemed to worship him and that was exactly what he needed. Perhaps it was my imagination but he did seem more self-confident.
I read the book I had borrowed from Teagan about the last few years of the Orlesian occupation. There was one battle in particular that stood out. The Rebellion's army had nearly been destroyed, it was later revealed there had been a traitor involved that was close to the inner circle of advisers. She was mentioned to be a bard from Orlais.
I sat with Leliana and asked to know just what a bard was, trying to understand its significance. She had quite a lot of detailed knowledge and it eventually sunk into my brain that she had been one. She tried to deny it at first but then she spilled it. I guess she realized it wasn't worse than being a mass murderer, like Sten, or assassin, like Zevran. Eventually her story tumbled out and I learned about how she had been betrayed by her mentor, Marjolaine. I briefly considered the possibility she might still be a spy and could be spying on us now. But I hadn't really seen anything that would raise my suspicions, so I took her story at face value.
Despite my lighthearted jesting and pranks on the way to Denerim, I was growing more apprehensive. I didn't know if my plan would work or not. I tried to hide my worries, even from myself, but I didn't fool everyone. One evening I was sitting in front of the campfire, my eyes were held by the dancing flames and I wasn't really thinking about anything in particular but my expression must have revealed something. Zevran sat down next to me.
"Tsk, tsk," he said, "you look so tired my dear. It's all this constant walking, flying and fighting. I think I know what you need."
"Caffeine," I said.
"What? No, whatever that is I have, something better in mind."
"Oh, better than caffeine? It must be good!" I asked, thinking that perhaps his skills with poisons extended to other substances. Perhaps a stimulant in the morning could be useful, or a little something to help me sleep when the nightmares were bad.
"No, my thought is this: We retire to a more private place and I show you the sort of massage skills one only learns growing up in an Antivan whorehouse," he said, leaning over and saying it directly and quietly into my ear.
It sent a frisson down my back. Yes, that certain gave caffeine a run for the money. I had told him about my understanding with Teagan, obviously we were away from Redcliffe so that made me available. Was I really though? I missed Teagan. I was afraid I was becoming too fond of him. I couldn't afford that. Oh, I could rationalize this a dozen different ways in my brain. I was locked into analysis paralysis.
"Lucy, stop it," Zevran said.
"Stop what?" I said, looking guilty.
"You're over-thinking. Every time you do, you get a crease on your forehead, it will age you prematurely."
I laughed at that.
"That's better," he said. Then he leaned over and spoke in his low voice, smoothly accented by Antivan, sounding remarkably like Ricardo Montalbán. "When you laugh, your face glows. I want to see how many ways I can make your face glow."
I hummed in my throat, realizing my erogenous zone actually started a few inches from my ear. I wished I were a guy and sex were just sex. It always seemed a lot simpler to them, well most of them. Alistair was the exception. Certainly Zevran seemed to have no expectations. Why can't I be like that? Maybe I can be, I'd just never tried it.
"Say 'soft Corinthian leather'", I asked him.
"Soft Corinthian leather," he purred, just millimeters from my ear, his warm breath buffeting it.
I shivered. Yes, just like Ricardo Montalbán.
"So, about that massage, Warden?"
"Yes," I said. I told my brain to shut the hell up and went to my tent. Zevran followed a few minutes later.
Denerim
We found an inn that was out of the way, unlikely to be frequented by anyone that knew any of us. I gave the purse to Alistair to manage. He rented rooms for everyone but me. I was nervous as hell now. We had lunch at the inn and I could barely eat.
Zevran noticed. "You're eating like a bird, warden," he said.
I groaned at the pun and took a half-hearted bite of my lunch.
Zevran grasped my hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I managed a smile at him. I didn't want everyone to see how nervous I was. That wouldn't inspire confidence in my plans. Still, I just couldn't eat. I gave my lunch to Alistair. He wolfed it down.
I said goodbye to Alistair privately, hugged him and reassured him that everything was going to be fine. I think I had him convinced that I actually believed it.
Zevran and I put together another disguise for him. This time he was an Rivaini. The accents weren't all that different. Lots of people couldn't tell the difference anyway. We walked out of town to a private area and I transformed into a horse form, one I'd been working on on the way to Denerim. I was a large dappled gray with a black mane. A horse sturdy enough to carry a big man, like Loghain, comfortably. I had never seen a dappled gray with a black mane, I think it might actually be genetically impossible, but it did make me stand out.
He sought out the royal stables, sweet-talking his way past a number of guards, and showed me off to a stable hand. The stable hand sought out the stable master who was impressed enough to get the Master of Horses. I wondered if there were more levels in the hierarchy than that, but it seemed we finally got to the guy who could make the a buying decision.
"She's a docile, yet spirited creature," Zevran said, his hand stroking my flank. "A man couldn't ask for a finer mount."
I was so going to get him back for that.
The Master of Horses, Henry, inspected me closely. I stood politely still for him as he opened my mouth and looked at my teeth, picked up my feet, ran a hand down my legs. Finally he went back to my head and patted my nose with affection. I knew how to suck up. I nuzzled him. It worked, he was grinning.
"Let's see what she can do in the training ring," Henry said.
Zevran hopped onto my back. We'd been working together on the way to Denerim, so I was in good form. We'd even done some jumping. Zevran wasn't trained in it, but he managed to keep his seat. I could explain enough of the basics and he picked the rest up on his own. Even though I was a great horse, I had to confess I was only a beginner as a rider. Still, Zevran was a natural.
I avoided my infamous trot, just in case Howe's former horse were recognized, but I did well with my other gaits. Zevran took me over a few modest fences. After he finished, Henry wanted to ride me himself. Fortunately he lived up to his title. He was a good rider, I had no problem understanding his desires. I held my head well, arching my neck, trying to get the wind to hit me just so, I wanted my mane to billow out and look pretty.
"Obedient isn't she?" Zevran said. "And very responsive."
The Horse Master looked impressed. "She's excellent. Her stride is a little short at the canter, but I think with some training we can correct that."
Oh? I would have to work on that.
"I think you'll find she's exceptionally quick at learning," Zevran said.
Zevran and Henry dickered over the price. It seemed the more I nuzzled the Master, the more amenable he became to Zevran's price. I blew on his neck a few times, nuzzled his ear, and he nearly met Zev's asking price. He finally agreed to four hundred gold. Not as much as we soaked Howe for, but it was a good amount for a Ferelden horse.
"What's her name?" the Master asked Zevran before he left.
"Lucy," he said. He came over to me and told me to be good to my new masters. He stroked my neck a few times and whispered into my ear, "Soft Corinthian leather." Then, with a saucy wink, he was gone.
Henry was excited with his new acquisition. He chatted at me, telling me how much the Regent would like me.
"But first, let's fix your canter." He mounted my back and rode me around the ring again, quickly bringing me to a canter. I worked harder to stretch my gait. He was doing something a little different with his legs. "Good girl, Lucy!" he said. He rode me around the ring for quite some time. Fortunately he was verbal and he often told me what he wanted and so I would adjust quickly.
He finally dismounted and led me to the stable, patting me fondly. "I think the Regent is going to be impressed with you, Lucy." I nuzzled him again and he laughed.
I was handed over to a stable boy. He brushed me vigorously and put me into a stall. This was the part of being a horse I hated. It was boring standing around in a stall waiting for something to happen. That, coupled with my nerves, made me pace and fret. There was a bay mare in the next stall who heard my restless pacing, she poked her head over the partition and snorted at me in a friendly greeting.
We blew in each other's nostrils. She looked very friendly and curious. I was grateful for her companionship. It helped take my mind off of things. Eventually it got dark outside and I drifted into the semi-conscious state horses go to when they sleep. The next day we were let out into the pasture and I ran around with my mare friend. Mabel, I decided to call her. It just seemed to fit.
Henry, the Horse Master, came by the pasture at one point. I made a point of showing off. Go tell Loghain about the gorgeous horse he simply must see! I willed him. I trotted past, letting my mane billow out and flicking my tail around. Then I broke into my fastest gallop and kicked out my heels a few times. I ran back to where he watched from the side and slammed on the brakes just before I got to the fence.
Henry laughed and he held out something for me. It was a lump of sugar. I slurped it up and licked the side of his face. He called over the stable boy and asked that I be saddled up. He took me out to the training ring and we rode around in circles for awhile and jumped a few fences. He seemed satisfied with me, so we left the training ring and he rode me through the countryside outside the palace. It was a pleasant ride and I thought I did everything he asked. I was feeling a little sweaty when he brought me back to the stable. It broke up the monotony of the day some.
I spent the rest of the day in the pasture and was put back into the dreaded stable in the evening. I would have slipped out of the stable in crow form, but the stable boy actually stayed in the stable all night, so I was sure to be missed if I did. I was about to drift off into my horse slumber when I saw a familiar pair of brown eyes outside the window of my stall.
I nickered softly at Zevran.
"Lucy," he whispered, "are you alone in there?"
I shook my head.
"How many?" he asked.
I hit the stable wall once with my foot.
"One?"
I nodded.
"Where?"
I turned my head in the direction where the stable boy slept.
"Just a minute," he said. He disappeared and I heard nothing for quite some time. Then I felt a hand on my flank.
"It's okay now," he said, "the stable boy is going to be sleeping very soundly for a few hours."
I changed out of horse form and nearly collapsed, it felt so strange after having been a horse for so long. Zevran caught me and I leaned against him, trying to remember how to be a biped.
"Are you all right, mia cara?" he asked, his eyes full of concern.
"I'm okay. It's just, the longer I'm in one form the stranger it feels to switch back. I think I'm okay now," I said, but he didn't let go of me. "I should walk around and remember what it is like to be human." Zevran wrapped an arm around my waist and we left the stable to walk around outside. "It's good to be out of that dratted stable. I hate it."
He chuckled. "No sign of the Regent yet then?"
"No, he seems to have abandoned his daily morning ride recently."
"I might know why," Zevran said. "It seems he called a Landsmeet, perhaps shortly after we left Redcliffe. It is to be held in three weeks."
"Oh?" I pondered this news. "If my plan works, then this is good news. I think." Zevran and I continued to walk, sticking to the shadows. My legs felt normal again. "I wonder how Teagan fares with his brother?"
"Ah! That reminds me, a message came from your handsome Bann." He reached into his shirt and pulled it out.
"Dare I risk a light out here?" I asked Zevran, not knowing if there were others around likely to see it.
"A small one, I think."
I conjured a very tiny mage-light and opened the sealed letter.
My Dear Heart,
I won't burden you with how empty my life feels since you left, but instead I will update you with the news. I am sending this to you from Rainesfere. My brother and I have quarreled badly. I fear we are no longer speaking to one another. He refuses to give up his notion of putting Alistair on the throne, never mind the lad is completely uninterested. He seems to have no care that such a maneuver would sorely divide the country. I think he realizes his influence over the country is at an end now that our nephew, Cailan, is dead. He knows that he would be the puppeteer if Alistair were crowned.
When I got to Rainesfere, I found a summons waiting to come to Denerim for a Landsmeet, so it seems we will be closer together again. I know your plan may make it difficult for us to be together, but should you find some way, I would love nothing more than to spend time with you again.
I smiled and handed the letter to Zevran to read.
"He's firmly wrapped around your finger," Zevran said. "I think there is a cortigiana or two in Antiva that would be jealous of your skill."
"Skill? I'm offended by the comparison. I haven't manipulated him in the slightest."
"A truly natural talent," he said, his eyes crinkling, "is so skillful she is unaware of her own abilities."
I grimaced at him. Leave it to him to be able to insult me a compliment. "Where I come from being compared to a prostitute is an insult, usually."
"Tsk, mia cara, not where I come from. Besides, the cortigiana of Antiva are not prostitutes. They are intellectuals, artists, highly desirable companions. Sex is merely one of the many skills they bring to the men that patronize them. Their influence in Antivan politics is considerable."
"That sounds like the geisha, from my world. Although I don't know if they had any political power, probably not."
I sniffed the night air and all I could smell was horse. I realized it was myself I was smelling. "I would love to take a bath. I smell like a horse. I'm very tired of smelling horses. I'm very tired of being a horse."
"I don't have any soap to offer, but I could wash your back," Zevran offered. "And I can think of a way or two we can reconnect you to your human body."
After the tedium of being a horse, standing around in a stall, having few outlets for my nervous anticipation, I was eager to take him up on his offer. We found a big tub in the building that held all the stable supplies. I filled it with hot water and we both got in.
Zevran held me firmly, my back to his chest. His strong arm wrapped around me so I couldn't move. He nibbled and sucked at my neck and ear, his free hand rubbed me, toying with me expertly, until I cried out and stiffened in his arms. It only inflamed my need. He seated me on the edge of the tub and used his mouth and fingers to bring me to another shuddering orgasm.
We found a deep stack of horse blankets and moved onto that. Zevran pretended to be a stallion mounting his favorite mare. He whinnied into my ear, making me laugh so hard it nearly broke the mood, but then he described in great detail how the stallion would take me and that put me back in the mood. He might not have been quite of the proportions he described, but our bodies fit well together and his skill was considerable. I doubt any mare had ever been so well satisfied.
We kept at it until we had dried from our bath and he judged the sleeping draught he had slipped the stable boy would wear off soon. He braided my hair for me, kissed me good night and slipped out of the stable. I transformed and slept surprisingly well.
The third day went like the first, only with no breaks from the monotony. Mabel and I ran around in the pasture. I did horse things. It was becoming intensely dull. Zevran came again that night and I practically ripped his clothes off him with my frustration, boredom and nervousness. He knew exactly what I needed. He was almost cruel in his love-making. His bites made me gasp and his pinches made me whimper in pain, then in need. He possessed me utterly that night. It was the perfect outlet for my frustration.
The fourth day began as the others had. I was awoken by the bustling of the stable hands from a dream of being chased by a mountain lion. That dream frightened me. That was a horse's dream, not a human dream.
I've never been a patient person. I would have been testy, short-tempered, and irritable as a human, by now. I felt like biting someone or something as a horse. I hated the stable now, with a passion. I think another day of this and I'd probably start kicking down the walls, but I had to be a nice horse and impress everyone to get the damn Regent to take me out on his morning ride, which he seemed to have suddenly abandoned. Just my luck.
The only thing that kept me sane was the time we spent in the pasture, but even that was pretty boring. I started chasing a butterfly, determined to catch it and chomp it, sadistically, between my huge teeth. It was a pretty sad state of affairs to take my frustrations out on masticating such beautiful creatures. I had just swallowed the second butterfly of the morning, when I saw a pair of people walking to the fence around the pasture.
I watched them a moment. I recognized Henry, the other man was very tall and broad, black hair. Loghain? I went into my pretty pony act. Trotting and tossing my mane. Then I galloped as fast as I could around the perimeter of the pasture and thundered up to the men and stopped suddenly. My hooves sent a puff of dry dirt up into the air as I braked suddenly.
Loghain! Time to ham it up. I suddenly felt the butterflies I'd just eaten come to life in my stomach.
