Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing!!! If I did, I sure wouldn't be so poor! And I wouldn't have any problem getting published.
I know it's been a long time, but the next chapter posed a problem for me and I kept rethinking the next events over and over. But I finally got it all sorted out, so here it is.
Beyond the Grave
Chapter 28: Explosion
Duo stormed out of the room Dr. Kenyan used for their sessions and walked as quickly as he could, without running towards a door. Any door that would get him outside as quickly as possible. He needed fresh air, needed not to be in this building. He just needed to get away, even if it was just for a second, even if it wasn't real. He needed to be away from everyone. Needed to be where no one would talk at him. Needed to be not here. It was such a primary urge he couldn't even put proper words to it.
Duo found a door that lead out into the back garden and took it, barley able to keep from slamming the door behind him. He kept walking until he found some hedges that created a barrier between him and the building and the only thing to look at was flowers or a fountain. Duo stopped there and stared at the water for five minutes. Just stared and concentrated on breathing.
He used the technique Wu Fei had taught him for slowing his heart rate and tried not to think about anything and he breathed in and out in deep, slow breaths.
He didn't want to think about it anyway, because it just made him mad again. The nerve of that woman.
Duo stopped that thought, he could already feel the anger rising again and his hands bawling into fists. That wasn't what he needed right now. What he needed was reasons to stay. Duo continued ignoring everything else in his life at that moment but the fountain right in front of him. And he eventually got his heart rate down and found himself sitting on the stone bench set there.
"Damnit." Duo cursed, longing for a nap but knowing that if he went to bed now he'd end up waking in the middle of the night. And after doing that just the other day he was determined never to experience that ever again.
A new headache resurfaced as Duo thought about that night. He'd woken up since he'd taken a nap after his session with Dr. Kenyan, a trying one where she'd made him talk about the war compared to being in prison. He'd done a lot of yelling and needed the rest. But he'd woken up full of energy some time around three am and felt the need to get up and move around.
The problem with that had been that Heero had been laying right next to him, which meant the moment he moved to get up and out of bed, Heero had woken up.
"What's wrong?" Heero asked groggily.
"Nothing, just getting some water." Duo had tried and gone for the bathroom where he'd waited about seven minutes, taking the time to re-braid his hair and turn on the water for effect. Then he'd come back out, thinking Heero had fallen back asleep and started for the bedroom door.
"Where are you going?" Heero's voice had stopped him at the door, his hand on the door knob and making him grimace.
"Just… um… I think I'll get a quick snack. Didn't eat much at dinner." Which was true, but Duo just wasn't that hungry these days. But Heero wasn't going back to sleep like he'd hoped.
"It's not good for you to eat in the middle of the night, it'll keep you up." Heero had sat up then and Duo had let his shoulders slump. Heero was fully awake now and wasn't going to let him go without an explanation.
"Well I'm already wide awake so I guess it won't make that much of a difference, will it?" Duo hadn't meant the words to come out snappish, but they had and he regretted them as Heero frowned at him and started to get out of bed.
"Duo, what's really wrong?" Heero had asked and Duo just wanted him to go back to being unconscious so he could have just a couple of minutes alone.
"Nothing. I'm wide awake and I'm going to go into the living room. Probably read a book or something until I'm sleepy again. That ok with you?" Duo let the annoyance and the defeat into his voice, already resigned to Heero sticking his nose into this too.
"You can't sleep?" Heero had of course ignored his tone and his harsh words and jumped right to the point the thought was important.
"No." Duo kept his answer short and waited for the question he knew was coming.
"What is it? A nightmare?" Heero asked, concern urgent on his face as he tried to reach out to Duo.
Duo backed away and opened the door, ready to make his escape. "No, I was irresponsible and took a nap before dinner. Now I'm awake and I don't think I'm going to fall asleep anytime soon. So I'm going to go out into the living room so I don't disturb you and so I can turn on a light." Duo left then, not looking back and not waiting for a response this time.
He'd gone to the living room, turned on a light, and thought about his earlier words and started looking through Quatre's vast book collection. He'd found something to read after a few minutes and had turned to sit and read only to find Heero on the couch with a blanket across his lap.
"What are you doing?" Duo had demanded.
"I'll sit up with you till you're tired again." Heero had answered with a tired smile.
Duo had felt guilt and anger strike him at the same time. On the one hand it was a really sweet gesture, on the other he'd wanted the alone time. Not to mention that Heero looked exhausted and ready to fall back asleep at any moment. Not that he would, Duo knew from experience that Heero had no problem ignoring his body's needs so long as he through the cause was worth it.
"Heero, go back to bed. I'll be fine. I have a book." Duo had held up the book and waved it at the man.
Heero had yawned then and shook his head no. He actually slumped back into the couch and pulled the blanket up further. Duo had ground his teeth and purposely taken a seat in a chair instead of on the couch. He'd ignored how good Heero looked mussed form sleep and laying back on the couch and read his book determinedly.
When he'd finally gotten tired a couple of hours later he'd looked up to find Heero spread out on the couch asleep and the guilt had come again. He'd stood, put away the book and walked over to stand in front of the couch.
"Why won't you let me try some things alone?" He'd asked sleeping Heero. "I didn't ask you to run yourself into the ground for me. I don't want you to."
He'd stared at Heero, watched his eyes moving beneath closed lids in a vivid dream. He'd then taken a step back and spoke Heero's name softly. Heero had of course come awake instantly and Duo had dragged them back to bed where he'd finally gotten back to sleep.
Now here he was again. Seeking solitude. And almost as if on cue he head a door close somewhere behind him. Duo ground his teeth, his calm gone, and wondered how long it would take before he wore his teeth down from frustration and had to get dentures.
"I came out here to be alone Heero." Duo spoke to the person behind him, already sure that he could be heard and already sure about who it was.
"I know. I'll just wait for you over by the garden patio. When you're ready we'll go back in." Heero had said and Duo couldn't help the groan of fury.
"No Heero, you'll wait inside. I don't want to sit here knowing that you're watching my every move." Duo barked and stood up. "I want to be alone. I mean really alone, not just standing by myself with you less than twenty feet away. That's not alone."
"I don't think…" Heero started and Duo interrupted him with one of his favorite come backs.
"No, you don't." Duo didn't want to turn to see the hurt look on Heero's face, the one he knew was there now, so he just kept talking to the fountain. "I need some time to myself. I'm never alone here. I'm suffocating from claustrophobia."
"Then we need to talk to Dr. Kenyan about it." Heero jumped in.
"Oh gods, you're not hearing me on purpose, aren't you." Duo realized and then did turn to look at Heero. "I'm done. That's it, I'm leaving and I'll be back when I'm good and ready, but I'm going alone. If you follow me, and I will know, then I won't come back. So just stay here Heero. I need to think."
Duo walked quickly then, right past Heero and into the house. He headed for the kitchen, intent on getting a bottle of water and then heading out right down the front driveway. No sneaking off this time, they'd know he left. And he'd come back on his own terms, not theirs.
The kitchen was surprisingly busy and Duo found himself in the company of two men he'd never seen before. Both were blonde and wore hats that had a logo on it with food. They were bringing in packages and setting them on the counters where the two women who made up the kitchen staff were putting away their contents.
It was groceries. Duo was surprised he hadn't come across this befoe now. He'd been wondering who did the shopping. Apparently it was all just delivered instead of someone going out and buying all this food. Maybe that was better, there was certainly a lot of it coming in.
Duo pushed past one of the women to quickly grab a bottle of water from one of the fridges and then followed one of the delivery guys outside where they were unloading a truck parked in the driveway.
"Duo." Heero's voice stopped him and Duo groaned as he waited, not even sure why he tried anymore. "This isn't the answer. Just come back and we'll talk about this."
Duo gave him a look and Heero stumbled over his words, panic clearly written across his face. "Or we could walk and talk. Just don't go out alone, it isn't safe."
Duo stared at the men unloading the truck, thinking, one of them was now handing boxes down from the truck and the other was piling them next to the door to the kitchen. One of them had a limp and Duo felt for him, at least until the guy looked at him. Then he just got chills and tried to ignore them. He needed to figure out what to say to Heero and this abrupt demand for conversation wasn't helping.
"Heero, not now, I need to just walk." Duo shifted his eyes to the men, trying to let Heero know that he didn't want to do this in front of strangers.
"No Duo, if we don't talk about this now…"
"What, the world will end? You'll jump in front of a car? I'll turn into a pumpkin? Please tell me, cuz I'd really like to know what's so urgent that we gotta parade our problems out in front of complete strangers."
They'd heard him, Duo had known they would. And just like any of Quatre's employees, they suddenly made themselves scarce. Even going so far as to set down their boxes right in front of Heero and Duo and walk around to get into the cab of their truck so they'd be out of earshot.
"Great, look at that. There's probably cold stuff in there." Duo put his water down and walked forward to pick up the box and take it inside, maybe he could distract Heero in there and get away.
"Duo, forget the box." Heero wretched the box out of Duo's hands and turned to set it down on the other boxes stacked by the door. "Why won't you talk to me?"
"Because you're being completely and totally unreasonable Heero, I'm mentally unstable, yeah, but that doesn't mean…" Duo's words were completely forgotten as Heero turned to him, took a few steps back towards him and the box he'd just set down exploded.
Duo fell backwards as the blast hit him, instinctively keeping his head tucked in towards his chest so it didn't hit the pavement. He let go of the air in his lungs and just tried to get another breath.
He felt Heero's bulk hit him below the knees and opened his eyes as he took a lungful of smoke. Debris hit them, Duo felt the burn on his skin and the bite of pieces of metal shooting past him. He heard a vehicle's engine turn over, though it was muffled, and turned just in time to see the truck that had delivered their groceries peel rubber off Quatre's estate.
"Damn." Duo cursed, his own voice muffled, the explosion had effected his hearing. "Heero?" Duo tried to sit up, wincing at the muscles that protested and the pain in his palms where they'd been cut.
Heero was across his shins, the back his shirt burned, his skin blistered. Burnt hair and smoke filled Duo's nose as he reached out to shake Heero. He hesitated at the sight of Heero's skin sliced open and burned, he recognized some kind of shrapnel from the bomb and worry made his heart beat funny and the air in his lungs catch so that it was hard to breath. Heero wasn't moving.
Duo could hear people coming outside now, knew it'd probably only been about a minute, but time was slowing down for him. Nothing around him made sense.
"Heero?" Duo heard the panic in his own voice and tried to get ahold of himself. He knew what to do, he was a war veteran for crying out loud. "Heero, don't move ok, I've got ya, it'll be ok."
Duo looked around him and finally saw Wu Fei running towards him from the house. The look on his face was what got to him. The worry, the panic, the anger and desperation. Duo felt a crash and clutched at Heero, Heero who wasn't moving. Heero who was his rock and now was laying on him burnt and cut up and still not moving.
"Help." He knew his voice couldn't be heard, knew it was probably a whisper. But it was that one word that broke the damn, Duo yelled then. "Wu Fei, help me!"
