Sorry it took me forever to update! I was so busy with work. Gah! But I did outline chapter 29 partially already so hopefully it doesn't take me as long to put it out! I may be taking on two jobs so that'll really tire me out. But this story is nearing it's end sooooo I just have to pop out a few more chapters! =D
By the way, do you guys prefer super long chapters? Or short/average size ones like this? Let me know!
I awaken to Claude's hand on my shoulder roughly gripping it as he shakes me.
"Sebastian!" I crack my eyes open, the sun shines in through the cracks in my blinds, illuminating my room.
Rolling over, I meet Claude's gaze through half lidded eyes.
"W-wha? What's wrong?" I ask half asleep.
"What are these?" Claude asks.
"What's what?" I ask with a yawn.
"This!"
Claude grabs my wrist, his thumb fingering the pink scars which mar my skin.
Suddenly wide awake, I yank my arm back; hiding my scars as I sit up.
"It's nothing." I lie. Claude grabs my other arm, his eyes sweeping over the puffy scars before I pull my arm back.
"Stop!"
"I've never seen these before!"
"It's nothing!" I lie again.
"Don't say that! Why would you do this?"
Claude's eyes appear glassy, I can't help but notice how visibly upset he is by this.
Sliding off my bed, Claude stands and retrieves his boxers from the floor.
"It's not because of you. It's not like that." The lies just keep falling from my mouth, I can't stop them.
Sliding his boxers on, Claude crosses his arms over his bare chest as he stares at me.
"Then what are they from?"
"It's nothing really, please just stop."
A frustrated groan escapes Claude, uncrossing his arms, he begins to collect all his clothes off the floor before turning to me again.
Before he can say anything, my eyes catch sight of a black ink tattoo on the back of his hand.
"W-what... What is that?" I point to the tattoo which he then hides beneath the clothes in his hand.
"Claude!" I cry, though he ignores me.
"I'll tell you once you tell me what your scars are from! Sebastian that isn't ok!"
"I... know.." Embarrassment floods my body, grabbing my arm I stare at the floor slightly ashamed by having my secret revealed.
"Then why do you do it?" He asks. I can't think of an answer, how do you explain something like that to somebody? Without them having experienced it themselves, it's nearly impossible to explain it without sounding insane.
Sliding off my bed, I slide my own boxers on while refusing to meet Claude's gaze.
"Sebs..." Claude's now gloved hand grabs my arm, forcefully pulling me into a hug.
"I just.. don't want to see you hurting anymore." He whispers as he holds me tightly.
"I'm fine, Claude... Really.. They're old."
'Lie again..'
Pulling away, Claude's eyes drop down to my arms which hang by my side.
"Will you tell me?"
'What would I tell him? How would I word it? Would he leave me because of it? Would he think I'm unstable or crazy..?'
Nodding slowly, my eyes slide up to meet Claude's.
Lowering ourselves, we sit on the floor of my room. I pull my knees up to my chest, crossing my arms over my knees, I press my forehead against my arms not wanting him to see my face as I talk.
My voice is shaky as I talk, I'm not comfortable divulging this information at all. I've never told anybody before, why would I? They'd probably try to stop me, and then what? How would I cope? What would I do?
"It started a few years ago.. I had no friends, and the kids at school weren't very nice to me.. I was bullied a lot. I didn't know what to do anymore.. I just.. I don't know how to explain it.. But one day I just.. knew.. That I would feel better.. If I.."
Trailing off, I stare at the hem of my boxers, focusing on small details in the stitching.
"How did you hide it for so long?"
"Cardigans, long sleeves.. It's usually chilly here so nobody really questioned my clothing choices."
"Where are they?"
Lifting my head, I see Claude's eyes searching my room.
"Where's what?"
"The knife, whatever you're using."
My heart pounds hard in my chest, swallowing nervously I raise my hand to point at my computer desk.
"Uhm, In my desk... drawer.. under the spiral.."
Claude turns, crawling on his knee's he gets to my desk and opens the top drawer.
Lifting the spiral, he extracts a small gray box containing roughly twelve single edged razor blades.
"I'm taking these."
My eyes drop back to the floor, Claude crawls back over to me, nodding.
"I love you, Sebastian.. I don't want you to do this. It's not okay."
On the inside, my mind is screaming. My first impulse is to throw a tantrum much like a child. I wanted to scream, kick, I wanted to rip the box from his hands and hide it.
'Don't take them..'
I understand why Claude wants them, I know it hurts him. I wish I didn't do this, I wish he didn't have to see my scars and learn my shameful secret.
Even though I don't want to hurt him by continuing, another part of me whispers that even though he takes my razors, I can easily purchase more.
"What about you?" I question.
"What about me?" He replies, hiding the small box of blades in his hand.
"Your tattoo. What is that?"
This time, Claude looks away. His eyes dropping to the floor before moving to the back of his hand.
"I used to be involved in a gang.. I left a few months ago.. This tattoo is just a mark from that."
Nodding, I extend my hand to him.
"Can I see?"
Removing his glove, Claude places his now naked hand in mine.
My eyes sweep over the ink embedded in Claude's skin. The tattoo is a circle with a strange design on the inside and around the edges. My thumb rubs over the smooth skin, I half expected the skin to be raised from the ink.
"I'm getting it removed as soon as I can.. But for now I have to hide it."
"It's okay.."
Releasing Claude's hand, I can't help but sigh at the secrets we've just divulged.
I was aware of Claude's gang background because of Grell, but I wasn't aware his ties were deep enough that he'd get a tattoo for it.
Looking up at the clock on my desk, I notice the numbers flashing eleven in the morning.
'Wait.. Today is.. Tuesday..'
"Oh crap, Claude! Crap!"
Jumping to my feet, I rush to my closet.
"What?!" Claude exclaims alarmed as he climbs to his feet.
"We're late for school!"
"Oh fuck!"
"SEBASTIAN EDWARD MICHAELIS!"
My door rips open, slamming against the wall, revealing my Aunt.
Her eyes grow round as she looks from Claude to I, we're surely a strange sight, standing in just our boxers.
Claude's face immediately turns red, I can't help but swallow nervously knowing what is probably coming.
"Why aren't you guys at school?! It's Tuesday!"
"We, We overslept!" I reach into my closet, pulling out my green button down.
"Get dressed, go, now! And Claude please get some clothes on or something!"
Blushing harder, Claude slides his shirt on before struggling to slide his jeans on.
"Text me when you leave, and you guys better run! No wasting time! Now hurry!"
Shutting my door, I can hear my Aunt walk down the hall to her bedroom.
Claude slowly turns to face me, his face a dark crimson, his eyes round.
I can't help but laugh at the look on his face, although I'm undeniably embarrassed as well.
"She just... saw me.. saw us.." Claude babbles.
"It's okay, it's okay. Uhm, she'll probably just lecture me later. Wow this is embarrassing."
I pull my clothes on quickly, a green button down with my favorite salmon colored cardigan and brown pants.
"She saw me in my boxers. She knows, Sebastian! She knows!"
"She knows what?" I ask, tying my shoes.
"That we.. we.. you know!"
Claude's face heats up again, crossing his arms he looks away.
"Oh god you're right. she knows.. Oh I'm never going to hear the end of this.."
The memory of last night lingers in my mind. His hand on my dick as he thrusts into me.
'I was his first, and he was mine...'
His lips on my throat, on my dick.
'I've never felt anything like that..'
I can't help but lick my lips at the thought of last night. It was the most amazing experience I've ever had, and I'm so glad it was with Claude.
I'm torn from my thoughts as a piece of bread nails me in the cheek.
The entire table laughs, I can feel the heat in my face as I notice everyone is staring at me.
"Were you thinking something dirty? You're all red!"
Grell laughs. Pulling my shoulders together, I stare down at my full plate of food, untouched by my hands.
"No, I wasn't."
'Yes, yes I was.'
"Oh speaking of dirty! What happened with you and Claude after you guys left?"
A collective "Ohhh!" Is heard from the entire table.
"Do tell." Meyrin purrs, leaning forward.
Shaking my head, I look away. I couldn't help being embarrassed by this conversation, last night was my first time, of course I don't really want to talk about it just yet.
"Nothing."
"We don't need to hear about it! Sheesh you guys act like you never get any action! Particularly you, Mey! After a night of sucking face with little Finny you'd think you'd be less pervy!"
"Oh shut up. I'm just curious!" Meyrin defends. "Besides, they're adorable."
My blush deepens, all eyes are on me. As much as I want to tell somebody about what happened, eventually, I don't want to tell everybody, especially not with them staring at me.
"Leave him alone guys, he'll tell us eventually." Finny speaks up.
The entire table shifts to stare at Finny who pushes away his now empty plate.
"Holy crap you finally spoke." Grell laughs, slamming his hand on the table.
Finny's cheeks flush a slight pink. "I spoke last night, I'm not mute."
Looking to me, a corner of Finny's mouth turns up.
"You guys should come out with us again sometime, It was fun."
"He spoke TWICE! I repeat, Finnian spoke TWICE! Sound the alarm! This must be the apocalypse." Grell exclaims dramatically, drawing attention from neighboring tables.
"God Grell shut up! You're embarrassing him!" Meyrin shouts, wrapping her arm around Finny.
"Jeez I'm just fucking with him, get a sense of humor, Mey!"
Mey shoots Grell a glare in return before turning to me.
"Yeah you guys should come out to the movies with us or something. We're all planning to go to the arcade this weekend, wanna come?"
"I'll.. ask Claude.." A small smile crosses my lips as I look around the table.
A few months ago, I'd be sitting in the bathroom hiding from the food the cafeteria contained. I'd be alone, friendless as always and hopelessly miserable.
I never would've thought this possible, I never would have imagined that I'd make friends, sit with them at lunch or even order food for myself.
'I'm.. not as depressed as before either.. I was so relentlessly bullied.. I still am but... It's somehow easier now that I have friends.. I know they'll back me up always.. I can't help being more content with life now..'
The bell rings, lunch is finally over.
Rising from our table, we toss our plates into the trash can. Just as I'm about to turn away, I notice Ash walk up.
"Oh if it isn't the freaks and that one hot chick that could do so much better."
"Shut up and go away, Ash." Mey snaps at the taller jock.
"Hey, watch your fucking attitude, skank. Bet you're fucking every single one of these guys except for that faggot." Ash points to me, Mey's cheeks burn bright red, her eyes aflame with rage.
"Go away." Bard steps in front of Mey, crossing his arms defensively.
"Ah no need to get so feisty." Ash turns to me, pounding his fist into his palm, he stares dead into my eyes.
"Come on guys." Ash and his friends, turn and walk away, laughing loudly.
I can't help but feel nervous by Ash's last action but I ignore it, turning to Mey instead.
"Are you okay?
"I'm fine! I just hate that guy! He's such a jerk, I wish he'd disappear!"
Finny slips his arm over Mey's shoulder, pulling her close he whispers something into her ear.
Whatever Finny told her, it appeared to calm her down as she nods, before smiling at Finny.
I had never realized that Ash targeted them as well. I hadn't realized they were bullied at all.
But just what did Ash do to cause Mey to hate him that much?
Reaching into the box, I pull out two chocolate sticks. The cold air of the freezer causes me to shiver, with each breath a small white puff displays, further proving just how cold this cooler is.
'Well.. It is thirty two degrees in here...'
I've collected everything I came in here for, yet I'm comforted by the near silence, and the cold.
'Finally alone..'
My mind slides to thoughts of last night. I can't stop myself from thinking about it, every second intrigued me.
'Not to mention.. turned me on beyond belief.'
Holding the orange and two chocolate sticks in my hands, I press my forehead against the cold metal of the shelves.
I can see Claude's body, the smooth skin, the muscles that lie beneath.
'He's perfect.'
Thoughts of when we'll do it again wind into my perverted mental images. As nervous as I was, I couldn't wait to do it again.
To do something he only does with me.
My thoughts slip away from that night, moving to this morning, Claude's discovery of my scars and my own discovery of his tattoo.
'We were both hiding so much from each other.'
Claude's tattoo seems like a scar of his own. Something he's ashamed of, he did without thinking properly.
'Of course it's not the same thing, but it sort of feels like it.'
The freezer door beeps as it's opened, before I can turn around, I feel Claude's muscular arms wind around me. He feels so warm compared to me, though I've also been standing in the cooler for roughly ten minutes.
"Hey, Sebs." I turn to face Claude, our lips meet instantly. His lips feel warm against mine, our lips part as he holds me close. His tongue slides over mine, exploring it as he's done many times before.
My heart pounds in my chest, my blood rushing I can feel my body heating up. Everything about Claude stirred me up, he causes my mind to go fuzzy logic to go out the window. My entire body screams for him, I want him so desperately it almost hurts, but another part of me knows better.
'If he keeps this up... I'll..'
Pushing him away, I can't help but blush as I smile at Claude.
"We shouldn't do this at work."
"It's not like we're going to fuck or anything." Claude frowns at me, clearly annoyed that I broke our kiss.
"I know but what if my Aunt or Ciel walks in? Or one of the other bakers?"
"Fine, but come on. You've been in here forever and I need your help."
Claude turns, pushing on the cold, metal door.
"With what?" I question, following Claude out of the cooler.
"A bunch of orders just came in, I can't finish them by myself! Not fast enough at least."
I can't help but smile, a slight laugh escaping me as I follow Claude to the wooden prep table where various tickets lay strewn across the table.
At work, before being Claude's boyfriend, I'm still his trainer.
'And I intend to be one hell of a trainer, for him at least.'
"Wow.. Uhm, first organize them by the times they were ordered. Then organize them by priority. Such as, if one is for a future order, it's not as high of a priority as an order they want now or within a couple of hours."
"Okay."
I watch Claude pick up random tickets, he examines each one before placing it randomly on the table until they're all laid out.
Looking up at me, he seems a little confused, almost like he's questioning if he did it right.
Stepping forward, I slowly examine each ticket, ensuring they're in the right order before nodding to my boyfriend.
"That looks good, so what are we making first?"
"Triple layer red velvet cake with cheesecake frosting and pink roses."
Nodding again, I smile.
"Well, then we should probably get started."
Hey, I just wrote this, and this is crazy, but I worked really hard, so review it maybe?
~Sebastian
