Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

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Chapter 27 Recap: Bella wanted to leave Edward behind when he told her he didn't remember her, but he caught her before she could run. They had the first decent conversation since meeting again, but it didn't end well. Bella got upset when Edward told her he had a woman with him while he searched for her and Edward got angry about her reaction and threw her time with Garrett back at her. Both said things they didn't mean and Edward walked away, leaving them both hurt. On top of their emotional turmoil, Bella overheard her mother crying because they learned her father only has weeks to live. She wanted to go to him but Edward stopped her. Bella fought to get away, ripping his arms off in the process. The pain hurt them both and while Bella held him together, she begged for forgiveness and promised to try and never hurt him again.

Caught up? Good…now, on with the story.


Chapter 28

EPOV

My body stilled and I forced myself to keep silent as the unimaginable pain began to subside and I was able to think clearly again.

Carlisle had never warned me. In all our discussions, he'd never once told me what this felt like – the feeling of being ripped apart, the burn as my body fused itself back together. I'd felt nothing like it…ever. The only thing calming me now was the girl holding me together.

Bella's hands on my arms, her head on my chest felt almost tender…sincere. But that wasn't what this was. She wasn't holding me the way I wanted her to. It wasn't because she loved me. She did it out of guilt and atonement for what she'd done. But who was I to blame her?

I knew of the violent nature of the nomadic vampires and Bella was no different. The color of her eyes told as much and in our short time together, I had learned that she was very volatile and attacking any threat seemed second nature to her.

I wasn't surprised when her first instinct was to fight against me, trying her best to eliminate her threat and reach her father. I had anticipated her reaction, though I wasn't completely ready for the consequence. When she calmed, it was her words as she held me that surprised me the most.

She begged for forgiveness but it wasn't necessary. I couldn't blame her for doing what was in our nature to do and I couldn't blame her for her words before as mine were just as deplorable.

Jealousy caused me to say things I shouldn't have, things I didn't mean to say and my words hurt her just as badly as her words hurt me. Shamefully, I would have continued had it not been for Renee.

I'd heard the car seconds before I heard her voice. When I saw no reaction from Bella, I knew instantly that I'd heard Renee's thoughts when she screamed at God for taking Charlie away from her so soon. Hearing those words drained the anger away from me, giving me back the strength I needed to walk away.

The distance didn't matter, though. The second I was away from her, the ache in my chest nearly crippled me and I dropped to the floor at the bottom of the stairs. With the pain came guilt as my words ran through my mind.

I called her a liar. I told her I wished I'd never found her and when she accused me of having some sort of tryst with Victoria, I never once refuted her claim. Again, jealousy over her time with Garrett tied my tongue and wouldn't allow me to speak the truth.

Bella wasn't the one who needed forgiveness…I was. For the lie I'd created when I held the truth from her. A truth I couldn't hide any longer.

"There was never another woman, Bella. Never once after you."

They weren't the first words I wanted to say, but as I lay quietly in the middle of the floor – my body finally healed from the most excruciating pain I'd ever felt – they were the most important words I could ever say.

Her head lifted, her hands left my shoulders and her eyes caught mine just as my newly healed arms snapped around her, refusing to allow her to run from me again.

"I'm sorry if I led you to believe there was ever another woman in my life because that is just not true."

Bella stared at me, not speaking but I could see the questions in her eyes. She looked as if she wanted to believe me but was afraid to at the same time. Her doubt sliced through me, leaving me bare and open to her, desperate to give her every truth she could ever ask for. Wanting nothing more than to put her fears to rest, I took a chance and lifted my hand from her back, placing it gently on her cheek.

"For as long as I can remember, you were the only girl I cared about, the only girl I had ever allowed into my heart. I'm sorry I forgot that for a time but once my memory returned, you have been the only one to hold any place in my heart. No woman in this world could ever compare to you, Bella, and any that would have tried were all told that my heart belonged to you and only you."

Her eyes held more questions and I wanted to answer every one of them, but this one truth had to come first. She needed to know she could trust me with her heart before we could ever move on.

Not wanting to have this conversation while lying on the floor, I moved quickly to sit against the wall and pulled Bella sideways onto my lap. Still too afraid she'd run, I kept an arm around her waist and held one of her hands in mine.

"Though I shouldn't have said it the way I did, I wasn't lying when I said the other woman was a friend of yours. In the beginning, I think she was," remembering Victoria's memories, I rephrased my words, "or she wanted to be."

Her eyes narrowed and I saw disbelief burning in their depths.

"Her name was Victoria."

Bella's eyes widened and then hardened just as quickly. "Victoria!" she exploded. "You were with… How dare y-"

"No, Bella, no."

My grip around her tightened as my hand clamped over her mouth, needing her to stay and listen. She had to hear me. She had to know I would never do such a thing.

"You have to believe me, Bella, I would never…" I stopped myself.

Begging would get me nowhere. If I wanted her to listen I had to stay calm and explain everything. "Please just listen."

When she stilled, I removed my hand from her mouth and held her a little closer as I told her my story.

"The first time I came home I overheard your father reading your letter and knew you were gone. It was the same night he fought with your mother." Her body tensed. I knew she didn't want to be reminded of that time so I continued quickly. "When everything calmed down, the three of them were, once again, determined to find you, so your father began detailing the places he had searched in the nine years you'd been gone. As his search took him farther and farther south, I panicked.

"My father had told me stories of the southern wars. The brutality and violence that went on down there was like nothing I'd ever heard before. Believing you were still human and moving south, right into harm's way, I feared for your life. I knew I had to find you and do everything in my power to keep you safe."

"But," she interrupted, "if you believed I was still human, how would finding me, wherever I was, change your desire to leave me that way. You didn't want to change me, Edward. You said so yourself."

"In the beginning that was true," I responded, following her tangent. "I wanted you to remain human. To live and be happy. But after leaving my mother and father…"

"That's the fourth time now," she jumped in again, angry. "You said your parents were dead. Why would you lie?"

"It's not a lie. My parents, Edward and Elizabeth, passed in 1918," I clarified. "My creator, Carlisle Cullen, changed me, cared for me and loved me as a father would and, in time, I began to see him as such. When he married…"

"He got married?" Her voice was disbelieving as she cut me off one more time.

"Bella, please," I said, my voice impatient.

This wasn't what I wanted to talk about, but she had to have so many questions running through her head. I couldn't deny her a simple answer.

"After centuries alone, Carlisle found his soul mate, Esme, and changed her. They fell deeply in love and married shortly after. Esme loved and accepted me as her own son and the three of us lived as a family for years before I left them."

Bella's look of disgust couldn't be masked and, after what little she'd revealed of her life earlier, I understood why. Not wanting to hurt her with details of my family, I moved on.

"The decision to come home wasn't easy for me." I slid my hand to hers, lightly caressing the back of her hand while I continued. "For so many years, your happiness was everything I wished for, but once I was faced with the possibility of actually seeing you with another man, I didn't believe my heart would survive such a blow.

"After days of agonizing over the choice, I decided to return but only after making a promise to myself. If you were happy like I wanted you to be, I would leave and never return. But if you weren't… If you were even half as miserable as I was, I would have gone to you, on my knees if necessary, and begged you to take me back. I would have confessed everything and I would have changed you if that was what you wanted.

"I was dying inside. Every day without you was pure torture and just the thought of having you with me again was a lure I couldn't resist any longer. I ran back as fast as I could but when I heard the pain you were in and where you'd gone, I went after you."

Looking at her now, Bella's eyes were closed, pinched tight as if she were in pain.

"Bella." Her eyes remained closed.

"Angel." Nothing.

Removing my hand from hers, I cupped her cheek and turned her face to mine.

"I scoured the southern states searching for you."

The tightness in her eyes relaxed as they opened slightly, though, she still wouldn't look at me. I lowered my hand to hers again and continued.

"It wasn't that there were no traces of you. There were still people who remembered you but their memories were old, unreliable, none of them left me a decent trail to follow. So I searched every city, every town, every state and found nothing.

"By the time I reached Texas, the thread of hope I'd been clinging to for years was threatening to break. I didn't know where to go or where to look; I was lost. That's when she found me."

"Victoria." One whispered word was all it took for me to hear Bella's hatred for Victoria.

I went on as if I didn't hear her. "At first, I perceived her as a threat and instinct took over. I had her pinned to the ground with my hand around her throat, ready to kill her."

The corner of Bella's mouth turned up in a smirk. Whether it was the thought of me killing Victoria or the simple fact that Victoria would be dead, seeing the joy it gave her was disturbing and left me on edge. The feeling forced me to remember how different my Bella really was.

Taking a breath, I went on. "I was stunned when she told me she knew you and I questioned her relentlessly, wanting to know everything. After she answered my questions, she offered to help me find you."

"I'm sure she did." Her eyes finally met mine; the red had turned coal black. "What did she tell you, Edward?" she growled. "Did she tell you what great friends we were?"

"She tried," I said before she could continue. "She didn't hide her true feelings well, though, and I saw how much she hated you."

"Then why did you stay with her?"

"By the time I met her I was desperate. I didn't know where else to look and she gave me some direction. I thought, at first, she was your friend and I believed she truly wanted to help."

"She wanted me dead," Bella snarled.

"I figured that out."

"Then why?"

"Bella," I reached up to hold her cheeks in my hands, "I would have done anything to find you, including run with someone who wanted you dead." The corner of my mouth lifted into a smirk. "Who better to align myself with than someone who wanted to find you almost as much as I did?"

Leaning back a little, she removed herself from my grasp.

"With as much as she hated me, I'm sure she was very helpful." She let a tiny smile slip before she masked it again and asked, "How did you lose her? She was hell bent on revenge, Edward. I can't imagine she would give up until I was nothing but a pile of ashes."

"I didn't have to." Her brow furrowed slightly. "She claimed to have followed you to the coast, so we headed east to search. We searched the entire coastline until we were met with another ocean at the southern tip of Florida.

"Disheartened again with my lack of results, I sat on the beach, trying to think. Victoria was whining behind me and I tried my best to ignore her but some of her rambling leaked through. I was glad it did as she mentioned something about the mountains and I suddenly realized I had been looking in the wrong direction the entire time.

"Running west gave me more hope than I'd felt in years. I could feel myself getting closer to you." One hand held hers as the other covered my heart. "We've had this connection forever, Bella. I don't know how to explain it. It was the strangest feeling, something I could never describe, but I allowed it to lead me, knowing it was taking me to you."

She was about to interrupt but I stopped her with a finger to her lips.

"I would have continued until I had you in my arms again but Victoria's incessant complaining and murderous thoughts nearly sent me over the edge. As we made our way into Galveston, I left her for a time to hunt and clear my head.

"While we were apart, I contemplated leaving her behind and heading straight for you but after a second thought, I knew I couldn't do that."

"But you said…" Bella started but I cut her off quickly, knowing what she was about to say.

"It wasn't because I wanted or even needed her around, because I didn't. Honestly, with everything I'd heard from her, she was lucky to still be alive."

A tiny smirk crept across Bella's lips as I talked about killing Victoria. I had to look away for a second to center myself. That change in her was going to take some time to get used to. With a breath, I continued.

"I knew I couldn't just leave her because she was still determined to see you dead. She left me no option, I had to kill her. It was the only way to protect you."

"You killed her." Her smirk widened to a full smile, a spark lit her eyes and she sounded happier than I'd heard her in two days.

I hated this part of her – the evil side to my once sweet, innocent angel – but I had to remember the life she lived compared to mine. While I didn't know the details, I knew she didn't have the compassionate, loving family that I had. Hers was harder and more violent than anything I'd had to live through.

"Yes, I killed her," I answered then proceeded to explain. "When I'd returned to our meeting place, there was another man there with her."

"Another man?"

"Another vampire. He claimed we were in his territory and saw us as a threat. He had her at his mercy and was waiting on me to come and save her."

"But you killed her first?" She was far too excited by the prospect.

"Only because I had to." My words came out harder than I intended but she had to see I didn't relish in killing her. "He mistook me for her mate and tried to give me a choice…her life for mine. But I knew he was going to kill us both no matter what choice I made."

A low growl rumbled in Bella's chest and I tried not to smile. My hand tightened on her waist a bit in response.

"I'm not a fighter, Bella," I admitted. "I knew the only way to save myself was to take him by surprise. So, when he told me to make my choice, I told him he could kill her. I don't believe he was ready for that answer and he hesitated. I took that hesitation and made my move.

"Victoria's head was on the ground a split second before he attacked."

"Wait a minute!"

Bella pushed my hand away, standing over me in a flash. Her hand covered her mouth but she moved it to speak.

"You were in Galveston."

I stood to put us on the same level when I answered. "Yes."

"You were in his territory." She suddenly looked panicked. "He attacked you? How did you…?" She trailed off and began pacing.

"Bella?"

She didn't answer, instead shocking me as her body slammed into mine as she hugged me.

"Oh God, Edward. He could have killed you?"

"What's going on, Bella?" Confused, I pulled back, resting a hand on her cheek. "What has you so upset?"

"I don't understand. How are you here?" Her eyes searched my face. "He's vicious…deadly. No one lives when they stand against him."

"Who?"

I couldn't imagine she'd known him. If he was so deadly, how would she have survived a meeting with him? What exactly had she been through all these years?" The thought made me fear for her all over again.

"Major Whitlock."

"Major?" The title caught me by surprise.

She nodded. "Garrett and I…"

Bella growled again, louder this time, and the sound echoed through the hallway as she pushed away from me. I stood speechless as I watched her sit at the edge of the stairs with her back to me and her head in her hands.

"God, I'm sorry, Edward."

I was about to ask what she was apologizing for when she released a breath and spoke again.

"I was taught to live in the shadows, to hide everywhere I went. But when I got to the south, I didn't have to hide anymore. Our kind ruled the streets and I was in a place where I didn't have to hold back anymore."

Her words worried me. They weren't what I thought I would hear from her. Wanting to be there for her through her confession, I sat down beside her and took her hand.

"Feeding was easy there and I could take anyone I wanted. I had to kill several of our kind when they got in my way and I thought nothing of it. Until I found myself on the wrong side of a battle."

My breath stopped and I squeezed her hand harder. Just the thought of her fighting in the southern wars was too much for me.

"The battle went on for hours but once the Major got involved, there were vampires dying all around me. He was ruthless. He could kill in a fraction of a second once he had his hands on someone. His dominance mesmerized me and I couldn't do anything but watch as he came closer, making his way toward me.

"Garrett wasn't quite as enthralled as I was and he pulled me out. He was afraid for both of us and got us out before anything could happen."

Fighting against Jasper Whitlock myself, I understood Garrett's fear for their lives and as much as I hated to admit it, I owed the man everything for saving Bella from the fight. For saving her life.

"We took shelter in an abandoned farm house about a hundred miles from the fight. We both needed to feed and it was close enough to the city that we could slip in and out without worry. By the time we returned, our abandoned house wasn't anymore.

"The instant I caught their scent, I was ready to fight. Garrett was the one to hold me back when he saw Victoria step from the shadows. He was infuriatingly calm, talking to her and acting as if she wasn't a threat to us. I wasn't fooled for a second."

The growl came from deep in her chest again. I inched closer and slid an arm around her shoulders to calm her.

"When her mate came through the door, I should have pulled Garrett from the house and ran as far as we could." I could sense her anger building with every word she spoke about James. "Staying was my first mistake."

In a move I didn't expect, Bella laid her head on my shoulder.

"How did you get away from him, Edward?" Her voice was softer as she quickly changed the subject.

This was my old Bella coming through. She always changed the subject when she didn't want to talk. I wanted to hear more but I knew if I pushed her, she would shut down. It was always her way.

"I fought against him." Her body tensed. "He was smart, quick and he might have taken me down, but I was faster than he was." I smirked, remembering the look on his face when he realized he couldn't beat me. "He hated me for that."

Her head lifted and her glistening eyes met mine as her hand move to my cheek.

"I've seen him fight, Edward. He was so brutal. Hate would have made that worse."

Her touch felt like fire against my skin, sending a jolt straight to my heart. Unthinking, I reached up to hold her hand against my cheek, not willing to lose this connection between us.

"He cheated," I said, hearing the bitterness in my voice. "I don't know how. I can't explain it. He was able to control me somehow."

Linking my fingers through hers, I brought our joined hands down to my lap.

"He could have killed me easily, but he didn't. He taunted me, trying to make me feel worthless, like I wasn't worth his time or the effort it would take to kill me."

"Why would he…?"

"I had collapsed," I went on, cutting off her sentence, "completely unable to move while he stalked me, questioning me relentlessly, wanting to know what I was doing in his woods. He believed I was some kind of scout, looking for information about him and his strategies…his secrets." Bella's fingers tightened around mine. "I told him I knew nothing of him or his woods and I didn't care."

My eyes dropped and, seeing our fingers tangled together, I took a deep breath before continuing quietly, afraid of her reaction to my words.

"I told him I didn't care who he was because I was passing through the woods while looking for you." Ignoring her small gasp, I went on. "He called me pathetic and worthless and I wanted to rip him apart but I couldn't fight back in any way."

There was another tiny rumbling in her chest but when she didn't interrupt me, I continued.

"I was helpless…an easy kill, and if what you say about him is true, it made no sense for him to let me go." Kneeling quickly on the step in front her, I took her face in my hands. "I thank God every day for his mercy because it allowed me to find you again."

She gasped. "But you said…"

"I know what I said and I'm sorry. I was angry and hurt."

Shame coursed through me as I walked away from her this time, leaning against the wall in the hallway and focusing on the floor.

"I know I said I wanted you to move on and I honestly believed I could live with that choice, but in every scenario I had ever envisioned, you were human. I could have conceded to another man because I couldn't bring myself to take your life. But that changed when Victoria found me and I realized you had been changed."

Her hand on my shoulder started me. "Why would that make a difference?"

I turned to her and reached out to touch her cheek.

"Don't you understand, Bella? My whole reason for staying away was to allow you the life I thought you wanted. To give you the opportunity to grow old and have the family you deserved. When I found out you had gone, my only thought was to find you and keep you safe.

"Then Victoria found me and I had learned you were like me. You can't imagine how happy I was to know there was finally a chance for us. But that happiness was ripped from me when I saw you with Garrett."

Dropping my hand, I took a step away from her.

"Believing I'd lost you nearly killed me but when she told me he was your mate, anger filled every part of me and I wanted to rip him apart. I wanted to find you and fight for you and show you that you belonged with me, not him.

"I wanted you to remember that you were my girl. That we were meant for each other, forever."

"Then how could you give up so easily?" she asked, with tears in her eyes.

"Give up?"

"The Major calls you worthless and pathetic because you're looking for me and you stop."

The look of pain on her face was enough to crush me. I couldn't believe she said such thing.

"How could you think…?" She didn't allow me to finish.

"How long has it been since you fought him? Six months? A year? Maybe two?" Her pain turned to a look of desperation. "What happened to that feeling, Edward? The one you said was leading you to me. Why didn't you follow it after he walked away?"

The look on her face broke my heart as she started backing away from me.

"You said you would fight for me? How could you let his words keep you from me?"

Bella turned to run but I caught her before she could make it to the stairs. Her body collapsed as I wrapped my arms around her. There was no fight in her this time. Her body heaved with the tears she couldn't cry as she let grief take over.

I pulled her tight to my chest and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I never gave up on you, Angel. I swear to you, aside from my few trips home, I searched for you every second of every day for the past six years…even after my fight with the Major."

I growled as I said his name. If he hadn't distracted me and wasted my time, I might have found Bella years earlier.

"I was so close to catching you twice, but you slipped right through my fingers. When that happened and I would get discouraged, I would always return here to center myself and come up with a new plan."

"What does that mean?"

She looked up at me, her onyx eyes rimmed in red. Taking a huge chance, I placed a light kiss on her forehead. Her eyes softened slightly and I smiled.

"Let me show you."

My smile grew as she took my hand and I led her to my parents' bedroom door. I could almost feel the curiosity that was so plain on her face. Releasing her hand, I took a step behind her and placed my hands on her hips. Her eyes followed me until she was turned halfway around.

I nodded toward the door. "Open it."

Her brow furrowed.

"Trust me."

With a small nod, she reached out and turned the doorknob. She gasped again as the door opened and her eyes landed on the huge map lying in the middle of the floor.

A minute passed without a single movement as she stood frozen in place. Nervous about her reaction, I urged her forward a step. It was enough, though, and Bella moved slowly into the room.

She came to a stop in front of the map and I let her go as she dropped to her knees. She moved her fingers over it, creating imaginary lines that connected the dots between cities.

"Edward."

My name was just a whisper, compelling me to my knees next to her. I reached out a hand to push her hair over her shoulder so I could see her face.

"I never stopped looking, Angel."


Could this be it? Could these two finally be back on the road to love? We'll see if this lasts.

As always, thank you so much for all the love you give this story. It means more to me than you will ever know. Big hugs to everyone. You are all the best. Until next time…much love to you all – D