Felicity's surprised by how little follow up Slade's death requires. She had been operating on the assumption that since he apparently had a lot of money and influence in the city, that his death would have a bigger impact or be investigated more deeply. Instead, because his death was reported as if he was just another victim of the Arrow, the various news outlets instead questioned if the Arrow was returning to his old ways, rather than discuss who exactly Slade was or why the Arrow went after him. Felicity realizes that she probably shouldn't be so surprised by this. (And that she should also be counting her blessing.)
So instead, she's grateful. It means she can spend more time making sure that their tracks are covered better and that they are less traceable. The fact that Slade used Gracen's death against them still kind of bothers Felicity. Even if it was completely true, it wasn't the whole picture.
She tried apologizing to Diggle about this, but he assured her that it wasn't her fault.
"If it hadn't been Gracen, Slade would have found something else," Diggle points out. "With all that we do, there's plenty of opportunities to turn things against us. After all, the police still think we're the bad guys, right?"
Felicity nods as she watches Diggle continue to take inventory of their medical supplies. Now that things are a bit quieter, there are a lot of maintenance type things that need to be done around the lair.
"And Iron Heights is definitely not the worst jail I've ever been in," Diggle adds.
Knowing that the Russian jail was probably much worse makes her feel a bit better; except that time it had been his choice. This time, not so much.
"We stopped Slade," Diggle reminds her. "That's what matters. Everything else, we can deal with."
…
Since no one else really knew that Slade was trying to destroy Oliver, it's easy enough for things to get back to normal. Since outwardly nothing's changed, everyone continues on and does their best to fix things behind the scenes.
Roy and Oliver's relationship with Thea seems to the first thing they need to worry about. To Oliver's annoyance and Roy's embarrassment and amusement (Felicity's impressed that Roy manages to be both mortified and entertained at the same time.), it becomes a team conversation. After some discussion, it's decided that Roy should tell Thea that he's working with the Arrow and then maybe his secret keeping will be more understandable.
Oliver is reluctant about this at first, as the protective older brother, he still wants Roy to stay away from Thea. But—as Felicity, Diggle and Sara point out—if he trusts Roy as a member of the team, then he should be okay with him dating Thea. Especially since simply being Oliver Queen's sister seems to put in her plenty of danger.
Fixing Oliver's relationship with Thea is a much more daunting task. With all the secrets that Oliver is keeping from his family, truly reconciling with Thea seems impossible.
Felicity suggest that Oliver share some of his secrets with Thea, maybe even if it's something small, just as a start.
Diggle adds that maybe Oliver wait and see how Thea responds to Roy.
"Maybe you don't have to share a specific secret," Sara offers. "Just explain why you're keeping so many."
Roy, wisely, remains quiet.
Oliver's response is, "I'll think about it," and the subject matter is obviously closed.
Felicity wishes that they could offer better advice, but there are still so many secrets, that there really isn't a good solution. Felicity just hopes that the explanation from Roy will be a good first step towards mending relationships.
…
Once the relief of having Sara back has worn off, the underlying fear of being left appears. Since Felicity's met her, Sara's taken off twice. Just because she did so to protect those she cares about, doesn't make Felicity worry any less about being left.
It's easy enough for the concern to get lost in the shuffle. They're all still living double lives and there always seems to be some wrong in Starling City that needs to be righted. And Felicity's not the only one that missed Sara, so some time passes before Felicity's fear is spoken about.
They're alone in the lair. Felicity is just finishing some things up on the computers while Sara waits for her. There's a sense of calm in the air as Sara is next to Felicity, just watching her work. Sara claims seeing Felicity in hacker mode is one of her favorite things to watch. Felicity's mostly gotten used to being observed while she works. (And since she enjoys watching Sara work out, she figures fair's fair.)
"Just need a minute for it to finish," Felicity says, spinning to face Sara. "And then we can go."
"I missed watching you work," Sara states.
Since Felicity's been a bit distracted all day, worrying about their relationship, she blurts out, "If Oliver hadn't called you, when would you have come back? Would you have come back?"
Coming out of (seemingly) nowhere, the questions take them both by surprise.
"I told you I was coming back," Sara replies. "I always planned to come back."
"Do you plan on leaving again?" Felicity asks.
"This is where I want to be, babe," Sara tells her. "I know it might of seemed like I was running back to Nyssa, choosing her over you—"
"I didn't think that," Felicity insists.
"I wouldn't blame you if you did," Sara replies.
Felicity sighs. She glances back at the screens and sees it's about half way done. "This isn't the first time you've taken off," Felicity says. "So what's the stop you from leaving again?"
Sara takes Felicity's hands in hers and waits until Felicity's looking at her before speaking. "Before... I wasn't... committed to being here. There was always a small part of me that wanted to run, that was afraid to stay."
"And now?" Felicity asks.
"And now I think I've figured out how the person I was—the person that did so many horrible things—can maybe become the hero you see."
Felicity pulls away. That answer almost seems too good to be true. "So you run to the league and suddenly everything makes sense?"
"Not really," Sara replies. "But kind of."
"Oh, well that clears it all up," Felicity retorts.
"Why did you keep texting me?" Sara asks. "I mean, I never replied."
"You're saying you didn't want me to?" Felicity counters.
"No," Sara replies. "I'm glad you did. It helped. It reminded me that this is where I want to be—that you're who I want to be with."
"Then why didn't you reply?" Felicity asks. "I know you were on some great quest, but—"
"It was just easier that way," Sara interjects. "Then I could pretend that I didn't miss you or anyone else here. I knew it was the only way I'd be able to stay focused and figure things out."
"Oh."
"But don't think for one minute that I didn't appreciate the texts," Sara says. "They were exactly what I needed."
"You do realize that returning with your ex girlfriend makes that a bit difficult to believe," Felicity points out.
"She's the reason I got back here so quickly," Sara argues. "And you were okay letting me see her off alone."
Felicity groans. "I remember."
"But now you're not?" Sara questions.
"That's not what I'm saying," Felicity protests. "I'm just not sure I could handle you leaving again."
"Why do you assume I will?" Sara questions.
It's something that Felicity's been trying to figure out herself. Where does this fear come from? "You went through something... traumatic, life changing... and you're still struggling with it," Felicity starts. "Understandably. And I can't ever... would never..." She sighs. "I know it's not fair to compare you to Oliver. Your... journeys were different, the reasons for coming back—or in your case, for not—are different. But my brain can't stop worrying. He used his time on the island as an excuse for so many things. And I know that you've told me more about the last six years than you've told anyone else. But it's what made you leave Starling both times."
"I came back for you, though," Sara says. "And unlike Oliver, I believe that a relationship is possible. It was just hard sometimes because you saw a hero and I saw..." Sara shrugs. "A killer."
"And now?" Felicity asks.
"I still don't see myself as a hero," Sara answers. "But I want to stay here, with you and... be the person you deserve."
"Sara," Felicity sighs. "I'm glad that you're staying. But I don't want you to be anyone, but you. I just want to know that you're going to be here, stay here."
"This is where I want to be," Sara assures her. "And I know believing me may take some time."
"Just like it'll take some time for you to realize that you're a hero," Felicity counters.
"Exactly," Sara grins. She glances at the computers. "I think it's done."
Felicity glances over her shoulder. "All right. I just have to do one thing and we can go."
Sara nods as Felicity spins to face the screens. It's just a few clicks—with a grinning Sara watching—and then Felicity is done.
"Ready?" she asks, standing.
"Definitely."
As they walk hand in hand to Felicity's car, Felicity does actually feel a bit lighter. Apparently she'd been more worried about Sara taking off again than she realized. And it's not like things are completely settled or all questions have been answered, but it's a start.
Felicity realizes that it's also because the five of them feel more like a team now. Slade's vengeance actually made them more solid as a group. His scheme failed in more ways than one. Instead of destroying the team, they've created, it's actually stronger.
The same can be said about her relationship with Sara. Felicity knew that Sara still struggled with her past—and that the struggle isn't over—but Felicity thinks that the acceptance of it will help Sara eventually be at peace with it.
Felicity can feel Sara's eyes on her as she drives and while she doesn't mind, Felicity's pretty sure that Sara's basically been staring at her for almost an hour. The grin that has accompanied it is pretty endearing, though.
"What are you smiling about?" Felicity asks.
"You," Sara answers. "I love you."
"I love you too."
…
Being back in Starling City is strange for Sara. It's only been a few weeks that she's been gone, but it feels different somehow. Maybe because this time she returned with the intention of staying. Before, she returned because she felt she had to or should, because there were things that needed to be done, questions that needed to be answered. But there was always a part of her that thought staying in Starling City wasn't permanent. Maybe that's why—despite there being so many reasons to stay—she was able to leave before. But now, now she knows that what she needs is here. And that while she's still struggling with who she is and how she got here, at least it no longer feels like the people in her life (those she came back to and those she's just found) need her to be anyone, but who she is.
It's honestly a relief how easily everything falls back into place. She has dinner on a regular basis with her dad and Laurel. Team Arrow is back together—though still working through things—and doing its best to help the people of Starling City. Even her friendship with Oliver seems to be in a good place.
Laurel has a lot more questions about Sara leaving than her dad does. Because though he might not know the specifics, he probably already figured some of it out. And so things return to normal between them. He still has dinner with Sara and occasionally Sara and Felicity; and he's still willing to contact them when Team Arrow's presence is needed.
With Laurel, Sara isn't sure what to tell her. She knows it's really only a matter of time before Laurel figures it all out; her sister's not stupid. But Sara's still not entirely sure what Laurel would think of all of it, how Sara's spent the last few years of her life. And the small part of her that craves her older sister's approval is afraid to tell her. So she does her best to explain as much as she can without explaining it all. She knows it's only a temporary situation, but hopefully it'll allow her to tell Laurel at her own pace.
She considers talking to her dad about it. Sara trusts his judgment on the matter, but she also doesn't want to put him in that position. He's already keeping her secret. Sara feels that telling Laurel needs to be handled by her. It's also why she doesn't ask Oliver his opinion. He'd probably prefer to keep Laurel in the dark as much as possible—for her safety, of course. And Sara agrees on some level, but the rift between Oliver and Thea seems to be evidence enough that keeping everything a secret will just come back to haunt her.
For now, she'll leave things how they are. It probably helps that she promised Laurel that she will explain more, but that she's just not ready yet.
It's her relationship with Felicity that (understandably) doesn't so easily just fall into place. Sara always knew that her leaving would have to be discussed. What she hadn't realized is how afraid Felicity still is that Sara will take off again. In retrospect, she can't completely blame her. Taking off like she did, while Slade was out there... Sara was so afraid of the killer inside her, that leaving truly seemed like the only solution.
Sara knows that Felicity understands this; they've talked about the fear Sara has of being unable to be anything but a killer. However, Sara also knows that Felicity has issues with being left behind. And she kind of hates herself for doing something that so easily feeds off that fear. Especially when Felicity sees her only as Sara and not an assassin.
All Sara has to offer is honesty, about why she left, but more importantly, why she came back. Hopefully that means more than her leaving does. She likes to think it does—and it really does seem like it, but she knows the real proof is time. She's just thankful that Felicity's willing to give her that time. She just hopes that it doesn't take as long as it takes Sara to see herself the way Felicity does. Sara's no hero—she's not sure she could ever consider herself one—she's done too many irredeemable things.
But really all that matters is that she's happy, really and truly happy. And that the fear of her own darkness isn't hanging over her like it used to be. She and Laurel are on good terms again. Her dad is proud of her in a way she never expected. She and Oliver have reached a comfortable place in their friendship, where the awkward and intense history between them has become its strength. Plus, she loves Felicity Smoak, who loves her back. And that's more than she ever thought she'd have again.
