Chapter 28:

coming home


Katara's certain that something must be different. Surely they can tell. Zuko woke early and apparently left for some covert firebending practice in the city gardens, for which Katara is very thankful. Otherwise, she's certain she wouldn't be able to stop herself looking at him, and then Aang would definitely be able to tell...

But Aang chatters on brightly about this and that. Toph and Sokka fight over the last slice of mango. Nobody seems to notice anything. She slowly picks at a few slices of strawberry-pear, her appetite hardly there. Guilt fills her stomach more than any meal could.

She glances at Sokka. He's flicking apple seeds at Toph as she jibes him about his most recent attempt at romantic poetry.

"Go on, Sokka, what've you got so far?"

"I'm not telling you! Well — fine, but only because I'm stuck. I've got 'the way you smile is so adorable...'"

"...and the way I write poetry is simply deplorable."

"That's not funny!"

They soon dissolve into a squabble. Katara watches them, wondering how Sokka can act so carefree.

Aang touches her arm. She starts.

"I was just asking if you got the tea last night," he says. She frowns.

"What?"

"Last night, Sokka said you were late because he sent you to get some more tea for this morning's customers." Aang frowns. "It was nice of you to run the errand, don't get me wrong, but I was kind of...you know. Hoping we could kiss beneath the fireworks." He blushes. "I thought it would be pretty special."

Katara stares down at her uneaten breakfast, then slowly pushes the plate away. She glances up, trying to meet Sokka's eye, but Toph currently has him in headlock.

"Listen, Aang...do you want to go for a walk?"

He brightens. "That'd be great! Oh — can I take a rain check? I just remembered I promised Min I'd help with a few chores, and Toph asked me to practise some earthbending with her this afternoon. But — maybe after dinner?" He looks at her hopefully.

"After dinner," Katara says, trying to smile, knowing that surely Aang can read it clearly across her face, see the tension in her shoulders, the way her smile wavers just a little.

But he just nods and kisses her on the cheek before turning to laugh at Toph and Sokka's impromptu wrestle.


Aang rushes the chores and is distracted through training with Toph — the latest round ends with him trapped in a ring of stalagmites.

"It's no fun when you're not focussing," Toph complains. "An easy win is boring."

"Sorry." Aang jumps out of the ring, using his airbending to propel himself up and over the spiky rock formations. He knows he's distracted, but he can't help it. He was so disappointed after last night — he had planned to leave the others behind and sneak away with Katara to share a moment — but everything will be fine now. Lately, it seems all she does is avoid being alone with him, but now she wants to go for a walk together. It's been a long time since she initiated spending time alone with him, and Aang can't stop smiling. Even better — Zuko has barely been around today. He left for firebending practice in the morning and didn't return until noon — and then Min had asked Zuko to help re-roofing some tiles, and he'd been busy with that all afternoon. Katara hadn't had the chance to spend any time with the firebender today.

Maybe, Aang reflects, he's just been imagining the distance between himself and Katara. Maybe everything's fine. The incident at the barn — maybe it wasn't anything to do with him. Maybe she'd just been stressed over something. Whatever the case, Aang had been cautious with affection since then, afraid of her rejecting him again, drawing away from his touch — but maybe tonight he should try again. Lavish her with affection, show her how much he cares, how much he loves her. Let her know that he's always here for her.

Aang smiles.


Katara sits in the sleeping quarters, stares at her reflection in the hand-mirror, slowly weaving her hair into a single long plait. She's been wearing her hair loose lately, but for some reason she feels like she needs to look somehow formal, sterner somehow. As if she's putting on armour for battle.

She can hear the others, chattering away in the sitting-room, still eating dinner. She told Min she wouldn't be eating dinner tonight. She's lost her appetite.

Footsteps. The door slides open and she knows who it is without looking.

"Is everything okay?"

Shouldn't my boyfriend be asking me that?

Katara concentrates on plaiting her hair, making each part perfect and even. She's almost afraid to look at Zuko, afraid that it will trigger something again. The lilt of his voice alone sends a thrill coursing through her veins. But she can't help it; she turns at last to look at him and for a moment they gaze at each other.

The door slides open. Both she and Zuko jump.

"Hey!" Aang says, smiling. "Ready to go? Oh, hi Zuko. Toph was looking for you, she says Sokka is being whiny and he won't play Pai Sho with her anymore."

Zuko looks at him a moment, then turns to Katara with an intense look.

"You're going somewhere?" he asks.

"Yep! On a date," Aang says before Katara can speak.

Zuko says nothing.

"So...don't wait up," Aang adds with a laugh.

"I won't." Zuko turns and leaves; Katara begins to step after him, his name poised on her lips, and then remembers Aang waiting for her.

"What's up with him?" Aang asks, then shakes his head. "Anyway. Are you ready?"

Katara stands for a moment, making sure her plait is in place. She brushes down her dress, then reaches for Zuko's cloak and settles it around her shoulders.

"I'm ready."


They walk along the winding paths of the city gardens. Aang takes Katara's hand carefully, remembering how she fled from him in the barn, but she doesn't spurn the show of affection and he becomes relaxed and chatty. The moon is high and full, the gardens are beautiful, the smell of blooming heather in the air.

"The stars sure are beautiful tonight," he says, giving Katara a little nudge with his shoulder. She looks up, staring into the sky for a long moment.

"Sokka must have missed Yue so much," she says.

He doesn't want Katara to be sad and talk about Yue, but spirits, he can feel it, he can feel it again. That melancholy rolling between them like a wave, endless, an ocean of distance, an ocean that brings nothing but long silences and broken words. And suddenly he feels a wild surge of desperation, and he leans forward, grabbing Katara and kissing her passionately.

She doesn't move for a moment. Then she steps away quickly, turning away from him, and it's all she seems to do these days. Step away, turn away. Away. She goes away, where he cannot follow.

"Aang," Katara says slowly, still not looking at him, still facing away. "I have something to tell you."

"You and Zuko," he says, and the words feel like someone else is speaking them. Like he's not really here, not really listening to this conversation. Please, let this be a bad dream. I'll wake up and it will be a brand new day...

"You — you know?" Katara asks incredulously, turning to look at him.

"Listen, Katara — "

"You know I love Zuko?"

Aang winces at the words, but he still speaks. "No, you don't."

"What?"

"No you don't," Aang repeats, his voice gaining strength. "It's actually what I kind of wanted to talk to you about. Your crush on Zuko."

Katara mouths his last sentence silently, as if trying to memorise it. Aang continues on quickly, hoping that she will understand.

"It's not your fault," he says, "and I want you to know that I'm not angry about it. After everything that happened — first you were left alone in the Fire Nation with all that awful stuff happening, then you were stuck on a boat with Zuko for weeks, then you found his mother — it makes sense that emotions were running high. You were probably just tired and confused, Katara." He repeats the words he's been practising. "The important thing is that I'm not mad, and I know it's just a passing attraction." Unlike our love, he adds silently. He doesn't say it aloud though. Too cheesy, he thinks, and besides, Katara will hear the unspoken words.

He looks at her expectantly, waiting. He hopes she won't get too upset about it. But if she wants to cry — well, he'll be here for her. And Zuko will soon be a thousand miles away, in another country, he thinks with a guilty twinge of satisfaction.

"So I don't love Zuko," Katara says in a low voice. "I'm just tired and confused."

"Yes! Yes, exactly," Aang says, reaching for her, his heart aching with relief. She steps away.

"And this isn't my fault?"

"Katara, of course not." He can't be angry at her — he won't let this ruin their relationship. If forgiving a simple, tiny crush means spending the rest of his life with Katara — well, it's a price he'll happily pay. "It's not your fault. I should have been there for you, and Zuko shouldn't have let it happen."

Katara turns away from him, her shoulders shaking, and he thinks she's crying.

But she's not, he realises.

She's angry.

"Of course it's Zuko's fault!" she shouts, whipping around again. "You're so right, Aang! It's his fault for being there for me! How dare he be such a good friend, and so supportive, and a good listener! His fault for being strong, and determined, and passionate, and stubborn and annoying! His fault for knowing stories about stars and showing me how to do things and never letting me take a break! His fault for knowing how to make me feel better and respecting my feelings and showing me how strong I can be!"

Aang gazes at her in shock.

"I know how to make you feel better," he says in a small voice. "I respect your feelings."

"That's funny," Katara snaps. "Right now, I don't feel like you respect me at all."

"How can you say that?" Aang says, hurt welling inside him.

"I tell you I love someone, and you tell me that I'm just being overemotional. How is that respectful?"

"I never said that! I never said you were being overemotional! Besides, I think I'm being pretty understanding here!" Aang retorts. "My girlfriend says she's in love with one of my best friends, and I try and be understanding! And what do I get? Yelled at!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you expecting everlasting gratitude?"

"How can you love Zuko? You're not — it's not even — Zuko's just some lame firebender!"

Katara stares at him, anger and disbelief written across her face. "I can't believe you just said that. You're acting like a little kid."

"I am a kid! And so are you — you're only fourteen!"

"I'm fifteen. Soon, I'll turn sixteen." Katara turns away from him and touches a hand to her necklace. "I'm hardly a child."

Aang stares at her for a moment. Out of all the injuries he's ever received — even getting hit by lightning — this conversation seems to hurt the most. He feels physically sick.

He gazes at her a moment longer, then spins around, snaps open his glider and takes off running, running, until he's in the air and everything has faded into the stars above.


Katara hears the soft whoosh of his glider, the fading of his footsteps, but can't quite bring herself to turn and watch him leave.

She waits for long moment, alone in the gardens, surrounded by the soft noises of the night. The eagle-owl hoots again. A cicada chirrups somewhere.

She walks to the small area where she first eavesdropped on Zuko and Aang's plans to take her to the dragonboat festival. That moment seems so far away. Everything seems so far away.

Katara sits on the stone bench, stares at the statue, and at last cries.


Sokka finds her. He spots her by the stone bench.

"Hey, Katara?"

She looks up. He can tell she's been crying. And Aang isn't with her. Sokka hesitates, then walks up to his sister and sits down next to her.

"Everything okay?"

"Aang left." Katara quickly brushes a sleeve over her eyes. Sokka pretends not to notice.

"Left, huh." He nudges her with his elbow. "Well, everyone's been worried. And by everyone, I mean me. Toph and Zuko are still busy accusing each other of cheating at Pai Sho." Sokka pauses. "So...I take it you and Aang had a little talk?"

Katara turns her face away. "We had an argument," she says, staring at a nearby cypress tree and blinking rapidly. "I can't believe what I said to him. What we both said to each other."

Sokka frowns. It's hard to imagine Aang or Katara hurling insults or hurtful remarks at each other. He's certain that Katara's just being too hard on herself, and decides to say as much.

"Well, Gran-Gran always said that angry words usually hide hurt feelings. Don't worry about it."

"I guess anger did get the best of me." Katara traces a pattern across the stone bench. "I'm just so worried about Aang now. He left on his glider. We need to look for him, anything could happen to him."

"Come on, sis. He's the Avatar. The war's over. What's going to happen to him? Get eaten by a saber-toothed cloud? Have the moon suddenly fall on him?" Sokka glances upwards. "I don't think so. Unless Yue has a secret grudge."

That works. Katara gives a watery smile and looks up at the moon.

"I guess. But — "

"He just needs a good sulk, that's all. Remember how I used to sulk in my snow forts when I was little?"

"You were a pretty good sulker," Katara admits with a tentative smile. "That pout you used to get...and Dad would walk around the place imitating you until you started laughing."

Sokka grins at her. Much better. She's been so quiet for the past week that he'd been quite worried about her (although he'd never dare admit it) and it's nice to see her with a smile again, even at his expense.

"Aang will be fine," Sokka says, standing up.

Katara wavers for a moment, but finally she stands up and offers him a small smile.


Aang flies higher.

He's still mad.

Mad that Katara won't see things for what they really are. Mad that instead of gratitude and declarations of love, he got nothing but anger.

Mad that she didn't look back when he took off, and mad that she didn't even cry. Doesn't she even care about him?

He had always preached forgiveness, and he truly believed that it was the key to happiness. And that's what he had done — forgiven her! He had said, right away, that he didn't blame her at all and forgave her for having romantic feelings towards Zuko.

So if he'd freely given forgiveness, why does he feel nothing but anger and hurt? Resentment and bitterness?

He turns his head quickly, thinking he'd spotted Appa, already imagining his friends huddled round the saddle, Katara at the reins, her face pale with worry.

But it's not Appa. Just a cloud.

Aang scowls and flies onward.


He finds shelter in a mountainside cave. He hadn't planned to stay out all night, but maybe then Katara would see how much she had hurt him. He pictures her, searching the skies, even crying, overcome with feelings of regret, refusing to sleep as she searches onwards.

Aang sets his glider against the cave wall and steps outside to search for kindling. He feels slightly guilty at his imagined scenarios. Of course he doesn't want Katara to be miserable or unhappy, or to stay up all night searching for him, or cry for him...

He sighs and starts collecting sticks for a fire to keep warm.

He's always felt just a little unsure about fire. Toph said earth would be the hardest element for him, but in many ways fire has been equally — if not more — challenging. From his early attempts with Jeong-Jeong to Zuko's training, he always struggled. He remembers how Zuko got so impatient at the Air Temples — put more effort in! Try harder! Where's your energy? — as Aang produces timid flames and low heat. He was always just a little scared of it. The monks had always taught him about life and rebirth, and he found it hard to use an element so destructive. Of course, things got much better after the visit to the dragons. Once he thought about fire as energy, it was much easier to firebend and Zuko seemed far more pleased with his efforts.

But even now, Aang still prefers not to use fire. It amazes him how Zuko — who has set entire towns afire, and destroyed buildings and boats — can use fire with such self-assurance and ease. His face bears a physical reminder of the dangers of fire, and yet he bends with an effortless confidence. There is never any fear or hesitation in Zuko's firebending.

Aang picks up another stick and glares at it. Why is he comparing himself to Zuko, anyway? So what if Zuko is good with fire? Aang is a firebender too — in fact, he can bend every element! He is the Avatar, and Zuko is just a boring, ordinary firebender! And Aang had never chased anyone, or been mean or rude, or threatened anyone.

Aang kicks a rock, scowling. He's better than Zuko.

So why is he standing alone in a distant cave?


When Katara arrives back at the safehouse with Sokka, she finds Toph standing over a pot of tea.

"Hey, Sugar Queen," Toph says, tilting her head towards Katara. "You have to try this tea I made. It's delicious."

"Zuko's gone to bed already?" Sokka asks. "Let me guess. He tried some of your tea and had to go lie down and die."

"My parents always said a proper lady should know how to make tea," Toph replies with a grin. "But they gave up trying to teach me."

"And no wonder," Sokka says, picking up the teapot and sniffing it. "Toph, this is disgusting. What did you do to it?"

"Hey, some people like a bit of zest in their tea," Toph retorts.

"Yeah, a bit of zest, not..." Sokka pokes at something floating in the dark tea. "Is that a tomato?"

"Picky, picky." Toph throws her hands into the air. "I don't see you making any tea, Snoozles."

They bicker for a few moments before Sokka concedes defeat and bids them goodnight.

"I'll save some mango for you," Toph says as he leaves.

"No, you won't."

She giggles. "Yeah. I won't."

Katara listens to Sokka's fading footsteps and is about to stand up and leave herself. Anxiety gnaws away at her energy. She should be searching for Aang. Toph, however, seems to be one step ahead.

"Hey, where's Aang? Didn't you guys go for a walk together?"

Katara pauses, then leans forward, placing her palms against the table, wanting to feel something solid.

"Aang...he left. We had an argument."

"What, you two?" Toph asks disbelievingly. "What about?"

Katara is suddenly sick of the secrets, the hidden memories. "About how I feel about Zuko."

"Huh?"

"Well," Katara says, feeling strangely nervous — after the argument with Aang, she can't handle another friend being angry with her. "Aang doesn't want me to spend time with Zuko." She takes a breath. "I disagreed and we had an argument. Then he left."

Toph frowns, confusion flitting over her face before realisation slowly dawns.

"You and..."

"Zuko. Yes."

"Oh, man." Toph exhales slowly, shaking her head. "Oh, man. I did not see this coming. I mean, I thought you guys were close and all...I guess I thought maybe there was something going on, but I just sort of laughed it off. I mean...you and Zuko..."

Katara doesn't say anything to that. Is it really that unbelievable? she wants to say, but at the same time she thinks that exact thought herself sometimes. She'll catch herself dreaming about waking up next to him and then think — suddenly — that this is the same person who caused her so much grief, who insulted her, who tormented her friends and fought her with such fiery hatred.

The same person who helped her face her mother's killer, who rescued her father from prison, who saved her life, who told her stories about stars, the same person whom she stood beside as his sister died.

"Katara?" Toph looks at her. "Everything okay?"

Katara's lips twitch in a pathetic imitation of a smile. "I just...I was worried you'd be angry."

"Well, I kinda am," Toph says. "I mean, you could have told me. That's what friends are for, right?"

"Right," Katara echoes, taken aback by Toph's seemingly easy acceptance.

"I mean, I'd probably punch you a few times, but you're being so pathetic right now that it's pointless. Out with it, Sugar Queen. You sound miserable. What's the problem?"

"I'm just worried about Aang," Katara admits. "He just took off, without even saying where he was going..."

"He'll be fine." Toph hands Katara a cup of tea. "Here, have this. I'm not sure what it is. It smells like chamomile, but who knows?"

"You really think he'll be okay?"

"Katara, you need to learn to stop mothering people so much. Remember when I first joined you guys, and you could not stop mothering me?"

"Mothering? It's called being nice!"

"Shut up and drink your tea, Sugar Queen."

Katara glares at the earthbender and takes a sip.

"Well?"

"I guess it's okay," Katara says grudgingly.

Toph laughs.

Katara would never admit it, but the Toph has, strangely, made her feel a lot better.


Aang spends a restless night in the mountainside cave, his mind churning. He gets up constantly, scanning the sky, squinting at clouds, trying to see if Appa is among them. He tilts his head, listening for a desperate voice calling his name.

But there is no voice. Only the lonely howl of a fox-wolf and the ever-steady glow of the moon.

Over and over, he replays that conversation.

I love Zuko...strong and determined and passionate...knows how to make me feel better...supportive...good friend...

Aang buries his head in his hands. Spirits, how did it all go so wrong? It was supposed to be a simple conversation, a confession followed by forgiveness. An apology, maybe a kiss.

But it seems there has been a serious miscalculation on his part.


When Aang arrives at the safehouse the next morning, he frowns. It isn't a bustle of activity. Quite the opposite, really. All is quiet. He creeps up to the door and slides it across, relieved to find it unlatched. He slips inside and gazes down the empty hallway.

He checks the kitchen first. The teapot is cold, the hearth-fire is nothing but ashy coal. The sitting room is empty, Pai Sho tiles scattered across the low table, cushions arranged around it.

Lastly, he looks into the sleeping quarters, sliding the door slowly open to peer inside.

Sokka is standing by the window, holding a scroll in his hand. Toph is speaking quietly to him, although he doesn't seem to be paying much attention. Katara is sitting on her tatami mat, eyes rimmed red, head against Zuko's shoulder. Aang's caught between anger and love — she's crying over their argument, crying for him, but after all they said, does she still have to sit so close to Zuko?

"Aang."

He turns. Sokka is holding out the scroll.

He takes it silently, frowning. It's a letter. But it's not addressed to him. It's addressed to Katara and Sokka, and begs them to return home. Their grandmother is very ill, and they fear that she will pass away before final goodbyes can be said.

"You can fly us there, right?" Sokka says urgently. "You can take us, can't you?"

Aang glances at Katara. She's not looking at him.

"Of course," he says quietly. "We can leave as soon as possible."

Sokka exhales slowly. "Good," he says. "Good."

For a moment, everyone is silent.


Later that day, after everything is packed, Katara finds Zuko on the bell-tower. He faces the edge, staring at the city below; she walks towards him and they stand together in silence for a moment, both facing forward.

Zuko speaks first.

"You're going home."

She looks at him. "Don't you remember what I said? Home isn't the place, it's the people." She chooses her words carefully. "You leave for the Fire Nation in two months. I'll be back then, and I'm coming with you."

"Don't say that," Zuko says, and she catches faint anger in his voice. "Katara, your family needs you."

"I know, but — "

"Once you go home, you'll remember why you loved it so much to begin with. You'll remember how good it feels to come home, you'll remember how much you missed — "

"I know what I'll miss." Katara pauses. "I promise, I'll be standing here again in two months."

"You don't know what might change."

She reaches out and takes his hand, pulling him towards her. She studies his face for a moment, then leans forward and kisses him. It's a softer and sweeter kiss than yesterday, and when it ends she rests her face against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and revelling in the closeness and warmth of him.

Just two months at the most, she thinks, but her heart gives a dull ache and Zuko, as if reading her thoughts, tightens his arms around her.

They stand for a long time as the sun slowly sets upon them.