Author Notes:

Happy belated birthday to me! Argh, I'm so sorry this part took longer than I said it was going to. The reason why it's late will become obvious as you start to read it. This part is TWICE AS LONG as usual, so it's extremely long... About halfway through, at the length where I usually end my chapters, I've put an intermission... so you can treat this as two chapters and come back and read the second half later, or you can treat it as one hellishly long chapter. Up to you.

Finally, here's the last part to chapter 18! Oh, and, um... Best way to describe this chapter is fragmented. There were dozens of little scenes and points I had to cover, and so I had to write them creatively... in order to cover them all. So this chapter is, well, fragmented.

No thanks to this new quickedit thingy, for making me have to edit my work AFTER I upload it. ARGH. Quickedit my ass. They even censor the website name so I can't curse at them. If you want to see this chapter in its pretty format, check it out at my site.

WARNING: You've all come this far and haven't complained. If non-con squicks you, don't say I didn't warn you.

A look ahead:

He would walk to the end of time, overcome any obstacle, and sacrifice any life, including his own. He would defy destiny herself... All for his beloved.


Chapter Eighteen: For His Beloved – part three

-o-o-o-o-o-

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit, oh fuck please don't let what I think is going to happen happen. Shit shit shit!!!

Riku could only watch, trapped in Sephiroth's mind and body, as he followed the man named Ansem down the unfamiliar Hollow Bastion corridor. A terrible kind of anticipation swirled inside of Sephiroth, an anticipation so real it made even Riku anxious through all of his dread. The thoughts running through the boy's head weren't helping calm Riku's nerves either; he couldn't block out the eager images Sephiroth had, images of a smiling blonde boy, of fantasies so honest and sinful they scared Riku.

How could anyone plan something as evil as this? Sephiroth had told Riku that he saw much of himself in the boy, but as Riku watched helplessly behind Sephiroth's eyes in this memory, he couldn't help thinking the two of them were nothing alike. Riku would never...

Why did Sephiroth want him to see this memory?

"We are almost there."

Sephiroth glanced up at Ansem's back as the man spoke. "Yes."

"There is still time, if you do not want to do this."

A tinge of fear struck the boy, and Riku felt Sephiroth's excitement waver a fraction. "I want to do this," he insisted, mostly to himself.

"This experiment could result in death, or a fate far worse than it," Ansem said calmly as his footsteps slowed, still not turning to face the boy behind him.

"I know."

"And if it fails..." Ansem continued, "...or nothing happens, you are willing to live the rest of your life hated by the one you love?"

Sephiroth was quiet for a moment, his hands clenching together at his sides as he followed close behind the older man. The fear was growing within him, but so was his determination. "Yes... I'm willing. Just for this chance..."

"Because you love him," Ansem said, and Riku couldn't tell if that was mockery in his tone. "Others would not call this an act of love. Destroying his innocence, his life, just for our selfish curiosity."

"I've already thought about all that," Sephiroth snapped, his green eyes narrowing on the back of Ansem's head. The fear was still there, however. "Even if he hates me after this... Even if we're both hurt, I won't let him go. No matter what, I'll make it up to him. Everything will be fine."

"How can you be so sure?" Ansem asked smoothly.

Heart wrenching with frightening honesty, Sephiroth hissed, "Because I love him!"

None of this made any sense to Riku, who had heard all those stories about Sephiroth being cruel to Cloud, not being in love with him. But despite what Riku had been told, the feelings that warred within Sephiroth were true. At those four bold words, Riku felt the same helplessness, the same topsy-turviness of the heart that he felt when he thought about Sora.

When your heart is thrown off balance, you know it's true love.

As strange as it seemed, Sephiroth really did love Cloud. Riku had no idea how that had come to be, or what about the blonde boy fascinated Sephiroth so much, but it was true.

Ansem slowly came to a stop, turning his face to regard Sephiroth with a twisted smile of amusement. "Perhaps the love you share will not be enough," he said steadily as the boy paused at his side, shooting him a glare. But then, with a tranquil sigh as he slipped an arm around the boy's shoulders, Ansem began walking again, his smile kind and assuring. "But for the sake of us all, let us hope you are successful."

Riku studied their interaction, completely baffled. All of this was just so weird!

This man named Ansem was so much like Yami, yet... not.

Maybe... Maybe Leon and the others had been right, and Yami was Ansem's illegitimate child or something. Their unique physical traits, manner of speaking, wardrobe—they were so similar. Though, that kind of theory seemed so... anticlimactic.

Also, kid Sephiroth seemed nothing like the current Sephiroth that Riku had met at the coliseum. But then again, this was sixteen-year-old Sephiroth, the one untainted by darkness, the one not hiding behind mask after mask to hide what he was feeling. No, the only mask he seemed to be wearing was the one that portrayed him as a heartless bully, not a teenager with more than a crush. Despite what Leon and Cloud had told Riku about Sephiroth being such a bully to Cloud, all Riku saw was a poor kid in love. Riku had no doubt Leon and Cloud had been telling the truth, but now he realized they hadn't been seeing the whole picture.

But why had Sephiroth picked on Cloud if he loved him? Granted, it wasn't uncommon for a boy to pick on someone they had a crush on, but... This was deeper than just some crush.

Cloud fancied Leon/Squall, and Sephiroth who fancied Cloud was best friends with Squall. Squall supposedly suffered through a tragic event when he was young and closed himself off to everyone except a select few, which Sephiroth had been a part of. Sephiroth obviously cared about Squall and would never do anything to hurt him... but he probably didn't like the fact that Squall was the center of Cloud's attention, considering he liked Cloud.

Maybe all that bullying Sephiroth had put Cloud through was to keep the blonde away from Squall.

That...

That was almost like what Riku had done!

Sora had seemed to like Kairi, and Riku, who had been scared of losing Sora to Kairi, had teased the boy and pretended to like Kairi to discourage Sora from getting to close to her. Yeah, there were key differences, but the similarities were there too. But Squall didn't like Cloud back, unlike Kairi who had liked Sora, so Sephiroth was in safer position there... However, because he was bullying Cloud so much, he risked Cloud hating him, unlike Riku who'd still had Sora's affections no matter what he did.

Maybe Sephiroth was going to do this terrible crime to Cloud because he had given up and this was the only way he'd ever get this close to him.

Well, maybe... but it seemed so cruel. So final...

There was also the possibility he had other reasons for wanting to do this to Cloud. He was Cloud's Gemini, it seemed. Perhaps he, like Yami, wanted to see what happened when two Gemini became one, except, unlike Yami and Riku, Cloud and Sephiroth were an actual Gemini pairing.

It seemed that Riku was actually going to find out whatever Yami sought from this experiment.

But... Wait a sec.

This was nine years in the past. This experiment had already taken place! This must be whatever happened to Cloud and Sephiroth before Hollow Bastion was invaded with heartless!

Shit. Oh shit...

This wasn't just a cruel setup for Sephiroth to get into Cloud's pants. This was... This was it. The answers to all of Cloud's pain.

And Riku was going to witness it firsthand, from the one who did it to Cloud. No... He was going to do it to Cloud. He could see, hear, feel everything Sephiroth could.

He was going to rape Cloud.

"Good afternoon, Cloud," Ansem suddenly greeted with a calm smile.

His voice broke Riku out of his thoughts. He watched helplessly as Sephiroth focused on a small boy standing there at the end of the hallway. Innocent blue eyes met Sephiroth's and the boy gave them a smile that could rival even the most radiant smiles of Sora's. Cloud was young... Very young. And so happy... From his large smiling eyes, soft spiky hair, and twiggy body evident under all those clothes, he looked so much like Sora or Tidus. Cloud couldn't have been older than thirteen here.

Only thirteen...

"Good afternoon, Lord Ansem," Cloud said in a small, polite voice, his blue eyes looking from Ansem to Sephiroth. The boy's smile wavered a little, but kept its friendliness. "Hi, Seph..."

A pleased smirk lazily spread across Sephiroth's lips, and Riku could do nothing.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Help us...

A slow, prickling shiver ran up Sora's sleeping arm. It lay sprawled out, his fingers wrapped firmly around his humming keyblade. Strange whispers floated to him from the darkness, almost like soothing lullabies to his tired shell as he lay unmoving in the center of his large bed. He hadn't even stirred since he had gotten his new weapon, though undoubtedly a few hours had passed since then. They were mere ghosts in his memory, swirling somewhere in his mind with the soft pleas the keyblade kept delivering. Only the shifting of his anti-Rikus against him and the steady flow of despondent murmurs from the mysterious weapon told him that time was even still passing.

He could feel its eager power irritating his own, as though it needed, wanted to be used.

A keyblade that unlocked hearts...

As mesmerized as he was by its eerie beauty and untapped magic, Sora had no intention of using it.

Breathing deeply, he fell into intense concentration, the keyblade's power pulsing in time with the beat of his heart, much like the darkness constantly surrounding him in this room. How he wished it could comfort him as much as he knew Riku's weapon did for him, but... This keyblade was different. It didn't feel natural. The icy skin of it burned his fingers the longer he grasped it, its sleek form humming dangerously to him, its whispers so sad and lacking hope... Its captivating power curled around him, tempting him to give himself fully to it, begging him to unravel its secrets.

He didn't like it. It felt so wrong. His heart ached, guarding itself from its power, almost afraid of touching the foul weapon. It was a keyblade, yes, but he didn't want it. Something about it wrenched at his worry and prickled his sadness, almost like this blade had been forged from pain and tears...

Slowly his fingers loosened around it, letting it settle harmlessly on the mattress. He pulled his arm back to himself, feeling the warm tingling as blood rushed to awaken his sleeping limb. Almost immediately the forlorn whispers fell silent and the keyblade's power dissipated, leaving him feeling hollow but safe.

Then again, these days his heart was always hollow.

A few of his heartless sensed his movement and glanced up, their yellow eyes studying his laying figure with a gleam of interest. Cold arms slipped around him as he sluggishly rolled onto his side. The embrace from behind was familiar to him now and he settled comfortably against it, welcoming the anti-Riku's body as it pressed close to his back. Ahead of him was another heartless, laying in a similar position to his own; its cheek rested against the sheets and its hair draped prettily over its face, a small tuft caught in the corner of its mouth. Its yellow eyes were watching him with a lazy expression so human Sora was intrigued by it.

The heartless really was a perfect reflection of Riku, never mind the clothes and dull heartless colors. Despite its black skin and luminescent eyes, it looked so much like him... From the shape of his cheeks which spoke so clearly of youth shedding into maturity, to the smooth silk of his layered hair and long lashes. To his finely-shaped eyebrows and perfect chin, strong jaw and powerful shoulders. To his elegant hands, slender waist, and muscles toned from hours of play fighting under the island sun.

To the unique curve of his soft, soft lips.

Blue eyes slightly widened as they studied the familiar smile pulled across lips that looked like the ones Sora had been kissed by countless times.

The heartless... was smiling? How...? They never showed that kind of emotion around him.

But... No one else could capture Riku's smile so perfectly like this. So life-like, so Riku...

Sora's lashes fluttered as he suddenly squinted back the lonely tears now clouding his blue gaze. No matter how hard he tried to forget what had happened, or how much he wished he could hate Riku for what he had done to ruin their perfect love, he just couldn't.

Sora missed him so much...

So much it hurt to live sometimes, so much it tore at his hollow heart and rendered him breathless and confused. Oh, what he would give just to be held by those warm arms again, or curled under a blanket with him, their toes touching and playing... to have their hands wrapped together, and his head tucked under Riku's chin and feeling his steady heartbeat.

But Riku.... Riku wasn't coming back just yet. He was taking too long...

The smile widened on those lips Sora knew so well, and before long the boy was reaching a trembling hand out. Cautiously he touched his fingertips to the Riku's cheek, almost wincing at its icy skin. But then, as his tears slipped free and wet the sheet below, he slid his fingers into the velvety softness of the creature's hair, trailing through to the ends before repeating.

So soft, just like Riku's pretty hair...

The anti-Riku slipped its eyes closed and turned its cheek into Sora's hand, rubbing almost lovingly into the boy's warm palm. A soft sigh escaped its lips, forming a content Kyuu... Its smile spread and Sora's breath caught in his throat, suddenly taken by its almost human actions. The heartless looked almost... alive.

Tears slowing their descent down his cheeks, Sora closed his eyes and lost himself within the sensations around him. He could feel the Riku pressed so sinfully close behind him, and the Riku in front of him tenderly push its face into his hand as though seeking more affection from him. Despite their frigid bodies around him, with his eyes closed the anti-Rikus seemed to actually be Riku. The same hard chest laying flush against his back, the same smooth skin and hair brushing against his fingertips.

For that one moment, they were Riku.

Easing Riku's face closer to his, Sora released a calm breath and relaxed, reaching his other hand up to bury within the other boy's fine hair. His mouth pressed to Riku's icy smile, melting into the familiar softness of his delicious lips. It felt so right, so natural.

So Riku...

Briefly pulling away, Sora slid his hands to cup Riku's head, murmuring his love's name softly before returning his lips to his. Gently he pushed, willing Riku's mouth to open for him, and it did with an almost childish hesitation. Curling his fingers back into Riku's hair, Sora deepened the kiss with a soft moan of anticipation, welcoming that cold mouth with his tongue.

Gods, he was so delicious, like spicy vanilla ice cream with the darkest chocolate poured all over it, like the burning sugariness of a ripe pink apple or the honey-like tang of that one paopu fruit, like love and desire and sweet, sweet sin all rolled into one knee-weakening mouthful of heaven. This was what his Riku tasted like. This was perfection.

Sora delved deeper into his mouth, desperate for more, ravaging the wet silkiness of Riku's lips and tongue and – oh, fuck, it felt so good to kiss him again! Hands released Riku's hair to slide urgently under his shirt, palms skimming adoringly over the familiar ridges of Riku's firm muscles, their mouths still locked in a frenzied kiss, lips sucking and tongues teasing. Sora couldn't help the pleasured sighs that escaped him as Riku began to respond to him, icy fingers slipping over his own skin as he explored Riku's cold body.

Behind him he could feel another Riku shifting, curious at the duo's impassioned kiss, but Sora wanted this Riku to himself. Without breaking their kiss, Sora pulled away from the body behind him, rolling over on top of Riku, eyes still squeezed shut as he devoured the boy's mouth. He settled into a daring straddle, groaning aloud at the feeling of power. Riku shifted under him and Sora hissed as his body rubbed deliciously against him.

"R-Riku..."

The other Rikus were now moving closer around the pair, and Sora felt their cold fingers reaching towards him. He ignored their presence and focused on the Riku beneath him, moving in for another satisfying kiss, his hips pushing with crumbling patience against the willing body beneath him.

It felt so damn good but...

It wasn't enough. He needed more, he needed... He needed Riku. Now.

Jerking the shirt over the boy's head and letting it dissolve into the darkness, Sora ran his hands over Riku's chest and reveled in its perfect sculpture, rocking his body more quickly against Riku, eager, needy...

Butterfly kisses and tentative touches were beginning to trail up his own body, the other Rikus mimicking their master's actions, curious and eager to please. Sora gasped as their hands skimmed under his clothes and their lips fastened on what bare skin they could find, kiss by kiss by kiss, caress by caress, wanting as much of his warmth as they could get.

He ground into Riku below him, fingers desperately digging into the other boy's shoulders, frustrated tears slipping under his strained eyelids, still closed over blue eyes. A familiar sharp heat spread throughout his body and he thrust downward again, loving the exciting friction, drowning in the sensation it and the other Rikus were giving him, their hands traveling deeper into his clothes to please him.

Sora. What are you doing?

Sora cried aloud as the voice entered his mind, breaking the spell and startling him enough to snap his eyes open. All the Rikus around him regarded him with curious yellow eyes.

Those are heartless.

Heartless.

Blue eyes focused on the black form beneath him.

H-He... With heartless...?!

With a strangled cry Sora pushed himself off the anti-Riku and scooted off the mattress. The crash to the floor didn't stop him from dragging himself away from the bed and the heartless, settling himself in the brightest corner in the dark room, curling up as he hugged himself, shuddering and feeling so unutterably dirty. His arousal throbbed painfully between his legs but he couldn't bear to think about it or what he had almost just done.

They're heartless, Sora. Not Riku, Id's voice said softly.

"U-Ugh...!!"

Sora heaved dryly into his hands, his stomach churning with ultimate disgust. Now that he was away from them, the aftertaste of dirt and bitter milk coated his tongue from kissing the heartless, and where their hands had been on him his skin burned with their icy imprints, like they were still touching him...

Brushing Id's presence from his mind, Sora weakly clambered to his feet and, without even bothering to answer his anti-Riku's worried cries, he raced from the room and away from the laughing darkness in his heart.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The room they passed into was unlike any of the others Riku had seen during his stay in Hollow Bastion.

Walls were decorated ceiling to floor with detailed sketches of almost everything, from dissected animals to intricate crystals labeled and studied, and stationed around the room were different tables, some with mysterious machine-like things and others with stacks upon stacks of tomes and manuscripts. Specimen jars, pearly skeletons, and small rock structures dotted the shelves around the good sized room. Off to the side, the dark-tiled floor dropped into a tiny carpeted alcove filled with large pillows and one or two blankets, and more than one shelf of books; the wall nearest the alcove looked like a preparation station or small kitchen almost.

Ansem led the boys towards this last area of the laboratory, but Sephiroth and Cloud seemed to be already familiar with the room because they immediately headed towards the alcove as Ansem moved behind the small counter of the kitchenette to prepare drinks.

The boys must have come here often—the place sure did look lived in, pillows worn and blankets wrinkled, with open books laying scattered on the floor. Riku remembered Leon telling him that Cloud had been some sort of apprentice to Ansem, or so Cloud had told him during Riku and Sora's absence in Traverse Town. That certainly seemed to be the case here.

Riku wanted to stay and look around the room more, or at least watch Ansem make drinks, but Sephiroth casually settled down in a pillowed corner of the alcove, sinking into the plush material as he trained his sharp eyes on young Cloud who seated himself not too far away, tugging his boots off with childish grace. When he was done and his feet were as bare as Sephiroth and Ansem's, Cloud caught the look Sephiroth was giving him, his blue eyes widening for an instant before a friendly smile replaced the embarrassment. A smirk found its way to Sephiroth's lips, and Riku felt the strong emotions swirling inside of him again. Anticipation and fear, guilt and happiness... Each feeling was Riku's own, so powerful and real he felt like he was actually Sephiroth and not just a witness.

The two boys didn't wait long in silence, Cloud avoiding Sephiroth's intent gaze and smiling almost nervously to himself. A delicious aroma wafted towards them in the cool air from the kitchenette and Cloud's large eyes lit with obvious delight at the certain smell.

Cinnamon.

"I really love cinnamon!" the boy stated pleasantly as he cast a quick glance around the alcove before finally meeting the other boy's eyes again.

They exchanged tense smiles again, Sephiroth's spreading with secret enthusiasm as Cloud looked away again. Riku watched as Sephiroth's eyes rose to acknowledge Ansem's entrance, two large mugs clasped in the older man's hands. He stopped by Cloud first, reaching the right mug out to him, the steam like a fleeing ghost as it drifted out and dissipated in the cool air.

As the young boy gave Ansem a bright smile and took the mug, Riku saw Ansem exchange pointed looks with Sephiroth.

Did he do it...? Riku felt Sephiroth wonder.

Almost as if in answer, Ansem nodded with purpose as he handed Sephiroth his own mug. The feel of cold glass slipped into his hand with the warm mug and Sephiroth glanced down to see what the older man had given him. It was a small vial... with just a tiny drop of poisonous orange liquid left.

A heavy sense of finality settled over Sephiroth as he raised his eyes again. Cloud was chugging down his warm drink without thought.

"Is it good Cloud?" Sephiroth asked softly, voice deep with the knowledge of what was about to happen.

The blonde head nodded eagerly, lips spread into a content smile over the rim of his drink, and at the response, Sephiroth's fingers tightened around the vial with what could only be impatience as he continued to watch the blonde.

Aphrodisiac, Ansem had said earlier. A potent kind.

There was little guessing as to where Ansem had slipped his poison.

Riku watched with growing dread as Cloud drained his large mug of the hot drink that smelled so sharply of cinnamon. He pulled his lips away from the porcelain with a blissful sigh, beaming up at Ansem, who returned the look with a warm smile.

"It was really good today!" he said, a happy little smile on his face as he set his cup down. He didn't seem to notice how intently the other two men were watching him, or that Sephiroth hadn't even taken a sip of his own drink. Blonde hair shifting as Cloud raised his large blue eyes to Ansem again, he asked, "So what are we doing today?"

"A new experiment," Ansem replied darkly as he moved back to the entrance of the alcove, gracefully dropping to his knees before leaning back to rest against the pillows there. Riku took notice of Ansem's collected manner, how he calmly folded his hands in his lap as he turned his amber eyes toward Cloud and Sephiroth again.

"Oh, really? What over?" Cloud asked, totally oblivious to the warm drug coursing through his young body...

The older man was smiling at Cloud. "What happens when two Gemini become one," Ansem said.

Cloud's smile fell.

That was it.

As a final sense of inevitability settled over Sephiroth, Riku realized there was no turning back now. Cloud was finally beginning to catch on.

"Gemini...?" Cloud whispered, fear growing in his innocent eyes. "But I thought..." No doubt he was confused. No doubt he was beginning to feel a little weird because of the drug taking effect... Riku wasn't sure how long these kind of things took, but... He was sure Ansem knew his work.

"You thought correctly, Cloud," Ansem continued calmly, his smile spreading with fake kindness. "I have mentioned more than once that you are a part of a Gemini pairing," he said pointedly, slowly, intently watching the boy. "I just failed to add I had also found your Other."

Wide blue eyes cast around the small alcove, taking in Sephiroth's predatory stare and Ansem's suddenly serious face with rising fear. "W-Who...?" he gasped softly, a little breathless. Panicked eyes met Sephiroth's then, his voice so small as he repeated his question. "Who..."

But this time he seemed to realize just who.

"When Sephiroth found out, he immediately volunteered for this experiment," Ansem explained gently.

Cloud never took his eyes from Sephiroth. A delicate blush was beginning to paint his cheeks, his lips parted in an attempt to regulate his suddenly erratic breathing. "What did you do to me...?" he asked, fearfully drawing his arms around himself. "What..."

Sephiroth's heart tore, hearing such a scared voice...

"I needed a Gemini pairing, so I had to postpone this research until I had one..." Ansem continued, a sort of ironic smirk curving his lips. "But now I have you two." Yellow eyes narrowed on Sephiroth's, gleaming with dark promise. "All that is left is for you to become one."

...but it had to be done.

He's just a kid... Riku whispered silently, but his host could not hear him.

As Sephiroth slowly placed his full mug down, the vial also clicking softly against the stone, Cloud flinched and moved backwards, brows drawn angrily though his eyes were filled with fear. Riku watched with helpless, horrified fascination as Sephiroth moved toward the trapped Cloud. The blonde boy, who was desperately trying to struggle to his feet and failing, seemed to know all too well what these men intended to do with him. Numbing limbs giving out on him, Cloud collapsed, body trembling and eyes hard with rage, betrayal... and so much fear.

"It's too late," came Sephiroth's hushed voice as he knelt before the small boy, slipping his hands into his soft hair, ever so gently caressing the boy's hot cheeks with his wrists.

The sharp smell of cinnamon still filled the air.

Tears clouded his blue eyes and Sephiroth looked away from them, something wrenching inside of him in response to Cloud's obvious fright. Riku felt him brush it aside and rebuild his resolve, leaning in without warning to capture Cloud's soft lips. Even under the pleasure-inducing drug's influence, Cloud resisted at first, choking back a gasp against Sephiroth's mouth as the older boy forced his tongue into him. Fingertips ghosted over Cloud's feverish skin, testing, loving, and the small body automatically arched up into the teasing touches.

A soft, powerless whimper was swallowed by their deepening kiss. Though Riku knew exactly what he was experiencing in Sephiroth's place, he couldn't help falling into the moment's rhythm, losing his mind in its succulent heat and the complete dominance he felt in that position. As his host graciously gave into the flood of emotions swirling inside of him, Riku followed, almost becoming Sephiroth, even as his hands were sliding eagerly up Cloud's loose shirt and the forming ridges of his boyish chest, a chest so much like Sora's it was like a dream to touch again.

He was silently reveling in the wrongness of this situation; Riku's excitement was Sephiroth's.

Cloud squirmed under the touches worshipping his body, but the friction of his resistance only triggered more pleasure from the drug coursing through his blood, small gasps escaping his red lips as Sephiroth ended their kiss to use his mouth in better places. Their eyes met briefly, accusing blue filling quickly with frustrated tears, hazed over with confused desire.

"Shh, it's okay," Sephiroth kissed into the boy's hair, a ruthlessly gentle gesture. "Stop crying."

Riku could almost feel Ansem's eyes on them as Sephiroth's fingers folded into Cloud's shirt and slowly drew it up the boy's body, taking care in lifting it over his head and sliding his arms out. As the boy shuddered against him, Sephiroth pressed his lips to the warm forehead, tasting the delicate beads of perspiration forming there.

The tears kept flowing, however, despite his tenderness. Even through the fog of pleasure in his blue eyes, hatred burned in their depths, striking a nerve sharply within Sephiroth. The silver-haired boy's lips drew into an unreadable frown, and, ignoring the soft cries coming from Cloud, he dropped the boy's shirt and moved his hands to undo the pants next, fingers sharply yanking at the lace.

"P-Please, Seph.... Don't...."

Green eyes met blue again momentarily and Sephiroth shook his head, long fingers sliding the lace free and pulling the pants open with careless strength. Cloud winced, squeezing his eyes shut, causing more tears to roll down his face. His flushed body shook with stifled sobs as Sephiroth's hands slid down his warm back, cupping over his round butt and squeezing firmly, pulling the boy's slender hips to his own as he rocked forward. He groaned at the sharp pleasure, feeling Cloud's erection hardening against his own through their cloth prisons.

Cloud's smaller body automatically curled into Sephiroth's, the startled gasp tearing from his lips segueing into a high groan of his own, his knees arching up to Sephiroth's arms and toes clenching at the older boy's hips.

More than encouraged by that, Sephiroth slid the pants downward over the sharp angle of Cloud's hips, raising himself briefly to tug the offending article of clothing nearly off; he didn't make it all the way and, impatient, left one pant leg caught on Cloud's ankle. In one quick swoop of his arm, the underwear followed. Sephiroth sat back to remove his own clothes, his fingers expertly slipping the knots free of the clasps on his high-neck shirt, watching Cloud's eyes on himself before lowering his gaze to take in the young boy's slim body.

So much like Sora... Riku couldn't help soaking in the sight, loving every detail of Cloud's small frame, from the way his blonde hair stuck to the sides of his face with sweat, to the feverish blush painted over the skin of his entire body, to his perked little nipples and small waist. Cloud may have been shaking with hatred, with fear and the utmost rage... but his body was betraying him, obviously enjoying the attention it was getting. Sephiroth's eyes raked over all of it, and as he removed his own shirt and began to work at his pants, he could feel Cloud's hooded eyes on him too.

Silver hair spilled over his shoulders as he leaned forward to rid himself of the last of his clothes. He growled softly as his skin brushed against Cloud's, and the boy sucked in a hissing gasp through his clenched teeth in return, both of them pushing forward for more of that delicious friction. Finally kicking his clothes free, Sephiroth scooped down to claim Cloud's lips again, freely moaning into the kiss as the boy curled around him. Palms skimming over firm thighs, Sephiroth pushed the boy's legs apart, guiding them up.

He wanted to say it so badly... But Cloud would take it the wrong way. He wanted to say it... But he couldn't.

"My hands," he half-groaned against the hot mouth, having trouble forming a simple sentence, "my lips... everything..." He paused, staring solemnly into Cloud's burning eyes. "They all exist so that I can feel you."

Cloud's eyebrows drew together in denial, his gasps coming too hard for him to reply. Sephiroth's lips curled into a smirk...

And he shoved a finger into Cloud's tight entrance.

There came an uncomfortable cry from the small boy, but he pushed against the finger anyway, blue eyes rolling far back as his eyelids fluttered, a bead of sweat rolling down the bridge of his nose. Sephiroth bit his lip as he pushed another finger in, working a choked scream out of the blonde boy this time.

Such a pretty scream.

"Does it hurt, Cloud?" he asked, eyes gleaming with almost feral desire.

A strained, grunted, "Yes!" was the reply, the young boy's eyes squeezed shut and his fingertips carving into Sephiroth's firm arms.

Sephiroth released a shuddery chuckle, forcing another finger in, pushing deep inside of Cloud and stretching him. The blonde openly sobbed, his voice deep with misery. Riku felt Sephiroth's heart clench again, and then melt under the pressure of his need, of their fate...

He slipped his fingers free, letting Cloud relax against him again, the boy's bright blue eyes peeking open to regard him with a medley of emotion so deep it stung to look at.

"Seph... No..."

Sephiroth forced his eyes shut, still seeing the hate in Cloud's eyes seared into his mind. His hands firmly gripped the boy's hips and pulled him up. Cloud's chest was rising and falling frantically, his blood burning in his veins, skin so very warm against Sephiroth's palms...

"Stop, Seph, please!!"

One push was all it would take.

Behind him he could feel Ansem still watching, yellow eyes eagerly waiting... for the two Gemini to become one. Riku felt Sephiroth tense, his heart thundering in his chest, pulse racing with anticipation... apprehension.

This was it. This could mean the breakthrough for Ansem's studies, for the entire world...

It could mean death for him, for Cloud... Or a fate worse than it. Their future was right there, and all it would take was...

Just one push.

"Please... stop..."

Gritting his teeth, Sephiroth dug his fingers into Cloud's soft skin and pushed into the boy. A scream tore from Cloud, echoing sharply off the elegant architecture of the room, hitting Sephiroth over and over again as he forced himself deeper, almost whimpering at the tightness of Cloud's body.

"It won't hurt for long, Cloud," he managed through his panting, pausing to hiss from the pleasure as Cloud's muscles clenched around him. "I promise."

The smaller boy was trembling, hatred and arousal warring inside of him, his frame tense from the pain. Sephiroth shifted only slightly, earning another strained whimper from Cloud, and then slowly pulled out.

Fuck...

Riku wasn't sure if that had been his assertion, or Sephiroth's, but they both felt the ache, the terrible need to just drive Cloud into the floor. The boy felt so perfect, so... so Sora...

A raw scream pierced his ears as Sephiroth forced into him without warning again, and then again, pushing the boy hard into the pillow behind him. He set a desperate pace with his thrusts as though this moment would be stolen from him any second, like this was his last chance to really live, or this was the last thing he ever wanted, and it was about to escape him... Cloud gasped, groaned, and cried with each invasion of his body, nonetheless pushing back against Sephiroth to continue the cycle each time, clearly hating every little pleasure sound he involuntarily uttered.

Riku lost himself in the pleasure building within Sephiroth, of the delicious sensations of skin against skin, skin in skin, rubbing harshly together, of the wet sounds that filled the air with each thrust, of Cloud's body swallowing him so completely, of Cloud's voice sweetly filling the air... He loved it. He loved the feeling of total control over the other boy who hated him so much. He loved not knowing how this was going to end.

Cloud's cries were rising, turning into heated gasps of pleasure as Sephiroth continued to drive into him, managing his own grunts through clenched teeth. The two boys moved perfectly against each other, hips rolling with hips, bodies fitting together as though they really were made for each other.

But as much as they were both indeed enjoying it, something very wrong was building inside of them.

Cloud's hatred was rising with his pleasure, tears leaking from beneath his shivering eyelids as he rocked against Sephiroth's body.

I hate you...

Something struck Sephiroth's heart, green eyes snapping open as the foreign thoughts invaded his own.

I hate this!!

A heavy surge of power flowed between them as Sephiroth let himself go, and Cloud took control of the situation. Small fingers wrapped around Sephiroth's neck, silver hair knotted in his grasp as he squeezed, arms trembling against Sephiroth's shoulders. Riku watched through Sephiroth's wide eyes as Cloud's pretty face twisted with dark thoughts, the boy's fingers digging into the skin of his neck with so much strength it frightened all of them.

I hate you!

The power suddenly concentrated, solid shadows lurching out of the ground around their bodies. Sephiroth forced his eyes shut again, his body shuddering from the terrible mélange of intense pleasure from being buried within Cloud, sharp pain of Cloud's fingers squeezing the life from him, the indescribable guilt of it all, and the suddenly icy fear of what was now happening to them. As the darkness surged around them, snaking over their limbs and numbing their senses, Sephiroth swatted Cloud's hands away with one powerful strike, and wrapped his arms around the small boy to protect him just in time.

As the ground opened up beneath them and they were pulled into the darkness, Cloud gave an ear-splitting scream of pain that Riku didn't understand...

Until Sephiroth's own back tore open, skin ripping with an almost acidic burn as something forced its way out of his right shoulder blade. The sound of flesh shredding, the wet sliding of breaking membrane, and the rustle of soft feathers filled the air as a black wing stretched out, shedding sticky film and a shower of blood. Against his hands he felt Cloud's small body shaking as he continued to shriek, somehow knowing his body was going through similar torture.

One wing each... what was the meaning?

But it was a fleeting thought, for as they were completely swallowed by the shadows, everything fell silent. Sephiroth slowly opened his eyes to find the boy in his arms still in mid-scream, though all sound had escaped them. It was a terrible silence... a silence that ached. No matter how hard Cloud screamed, Sephiroth could not hear it.

He simply held onto the trembling body against his, fighting back his own growing fear of the cold, cold darkness coiling around them, pulling them deeper into the void... away from their home. His thoughts drifted endlessly, only holding onto that one sure fact that Cloud was with him, wherever they were going. Time slipped away from him, his body spent and mind too lost to grasp onto any real hope.

For a moment he managed to wonder if this was because of Ansem's experiment... but then the name became unfamiliar to him, and he caught onto the next thought to see if it made any more sense. It was as though his thoughts were butterflies, and every time he snatched one to keep hold of it, he crushed it and it died...

All except one. Cloud. As long as he had Cloud, he would be fine... Cloud... whose arms were outstretched, his fingers reaching out as though searching for, or bidding a sad farewell to something. The light maybe, or their world... Perhaps his hope.

Sephiroth slowly pressed a soft kiss to the boy's forehead.

"Don't worry, Cloud. I'll protect you..."

And as if Cloud had actually heard him through the deafening silence, the boy's arms slipped back around him and squeezed, brushing against his one raw wing.

Time passed. For how long, Riku wasn't sure, but it was as though the memory was fast forwarding itself. The only way he knew time was still passing, was the drying blood on Sephiroth's wing.

"Awaken."

The darkness suddenly dissipated and Sephiroth was deposited onto solid ground, his weak knees hitting a soft rug as he fell forward onto them, planting one hand to the ground to keep himself from crushing Cloud, who was still wrapped around him, now unconscious. Their naked bodies were frozen from the passage through the shadows, so much it hurt to even tense a muscle... But Sephiroth carefully pulled the blonde into a cradling position and slowly rose back to his feet, straightening his back and fighting back the hissing pain coursing throughout his entire body.

Green eyes cautiously took in their new surroundings, not wasting any time in dwelling on his thoughts as they flooded back to him now that they were out of that darkness. He did take a moment to recall how they had gotten here and wonder what had gone wrong, but then he remembered the small boy in his arms and was forced to return to their present situation.

They seemed to be in a study of some sort... almost completely dark, save for a single candle burning on the desk nearby. The light stung, Sephiroth noticed with a wince, squinting his eyes to see past the flame. For some reason he could see perfectly in this heavy darkness, but the light hindered his sight.

There was a figure seated at the desk... But Sephiroth couldn't make it out.

"No doubt you're confused," came a soft, sultry voice, curling with delight at his new visitors. "I will get to explaining later, however. What are your names and ages?"

"Sephiroth, age sixteen..." he said warily, pulling the body in his arms more protectively against him. "He's Cloud... thirteen. Where are we?"

"The World of Darkness, for starters," the voice replied. "I see Ansem's experiment failed."

Sephiroth tensed, narrowing his green eyes on the shadow behind the candle. "What do you know? What happened to us? Who are you?"

"It seems I was right, then." There came a soft, almost sad sigh. "I assume you were told about the Gemini twins and all the various theories about them, and I also assume that you are thinking your appearance here is a result of the union of Gemini. You are partly right, but not in the way you think, young Sephiroth."

"Then tell me," he hissed, flexing his wing as an automatic reflex. But at the sudden stretching of the new appendage, an almost exhilarating feeling of bliss blossomed inside of him, sending his body into a small climax. He shuddered violently, gasping loudly at the new sensation.

The figure in the dark chuckled. "I see you've noticed your new burden. You may thank your Cloud for that, and for your arrival here."

"What do you mean?" Sephiroth asked, still shivering slightly from the aftershocks of his wing, and the trip through the darkness. "How is it Cloud's fault?"

"Gemini have many untapped powers. It seems your union awakened his, and he used them to fight. I've seen it before." The voice paused as though to contemplate. "Unfortunately, the darkness he summoned was too strong for him to handle in such a frail state, and it... mutated. Your wings are a sort of failed experiment, I should say. And since you two were joined at the time, you each have one of the pair... His thoughts must have been steeped in darkness at the time, and therefore his wing's shape reflects his sin. Yours reflects the opposite."

Riku concentrated on that, feeling Sephiroth frown at the words as well. It seemed to be true, now that he thought about it... Sephiroth had been so in love, so regretful during the... rape. Cloud had been full of hatred and confusion. One half of a Gemini pair is destined to walk the dark path, whilst the other walks the light. Whether he had been aware of it or not, Cloud had indeed been shrouded in the dark, and had used that power against Sephiroth.

It must have backfired or something, and they ended up here... In the World of Darkness.

"...I see..." Sephiroth uttered softly, lowering his green eyes to study Cloud's peaceful face. "So what do we do now?"

"It's not easy returning to the Present World," the figure replied. "Until you are ready, you are welcome to remain here in my castle... in exchange for your help, of course."

Sephiroth turned back to the shadowy figure, leveling his eyes on it. "What do I need to do?"

"Because of Ansem's meddling, rough times are coming. Agree to do my bidding, and in exchange I shall teach you how to explore your newfound powers to protect yourself."

A strained silence passed between them as countless thoughts raced through Sephiroth's mind, and Riku listened as the boy weighed his opportunity costs and rewards, quickly coming to the only decision he could risk making—the only decision that ensured that he could remain with Cloud and protect him.

"I agree," he said, bowing his head, his silver hair spilling forward. "But I would like to know for whom I am now servant to."

The figure chuckled again, and Sephiroth suddenly caught a gleam of yellow eyes in the darkness.

"Very good," the man said. "You may call me Id."

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Id."

Yes?

"What's wrong with me?"

You know very well what's wrong with you, Sora.

Where are you going?

"I don't know."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Days passed in Sephiroth's memories, entire conversations flashing ahead, scenes circling, moving forward so fast he couldn't understand them until after they had gone. Hours played as split seconds as Riku silently watched through Sephiroth's eyes. He wasn't sure how much time had been skipped, but when the memories slowed again almost abruptly, Riku knew it indicated that Sephiroth wanted him to know something important about this upcoming scene.

The first thing Riku noticed was that Sephiroth's wing no longer ached, its newborn muscles, nerves, and skin now adapted to his body; the extra appendage was almost a comfortable weight behind him now. Riku then noticed his change of attire, with new boots and pants, and a stylized shirt—an outfit similar to what he'd worn at Hollow Bastion, but more modern, his high-neck shirt backless to accommodate his wing. It sure beat running around naked. Riku assumed Id had provided the boys with things, but after that impossibly fast spin through memories, Riku couldn't recall.

After a long trip down a dark hallway, Sephiroth calmly pushed open a pair of doors and entered Id's study where he had first come to this world. Id was already waiting behind his large desk, face shrouded in shadows, only his eyes reflecting the dim candlelight. In a chair in the corner was a curled up Cloud, knees drawn up and covering his ducked face, his wing draped bonelessly to the side.

Riku felt curiosity rise up in Sephiroth as he wondered about Cloud, and why they had been called here today.

"You summoned, Master...?" Sephiroth said slowly, leveling his eyes on the shadows in front of him.

"You're getting better at recognizing my summons," Id commented lazily, raising a hand to gesture the boy closer. Sephiroth obeyed, stepping up to the desk, Id's face smiling darkly up at him. "I'm glad. Most of my powers concern the darkness, so please become familiar with them."

A flash of memory entertained Sephiroth's mind, and Riku was updated on the situation. One of Id's summons was just a pulse of darkness in Sephiroth's mind. Riku wasn't sure how it worked, but... one thing was for sure. Id was a part of the darkness that surrounded this place, flowing in and out of everything and everyone. This stranger was powerful. His magic felt almost ancient...

"Yes," Sephiroth said patiently. "I was in the middle of studying advanced magic, as you had suggested.... I would like to get it done. What is it that you want?"

Id leaned forward on the desk, waving a hand in Cloud's direction. "I am tired of your friend's sulking," the man sighed. "He has recovered both his strength and mental stability, yet he refuses to acknowledge the deal I have offered him, the same I offered you. However, instead of throwing him to the scum of the city – I'm sure they would just love a pretty boy of his age – I thought perhaps you could try getting through to him."

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed slightly at his master's words. "I shall do my best..."

Smile widening, Id gave a short nod. "Very well. I leave him entirely in your care," he said. "We will be receiving a new houseguest soon, so I will not have the time to care for him or you." He paused, watching Sephiroth's face fill with questions. "I will still be assisting you in training, but my time will be limited now. I unfortunately... miscalculated the new arrival. I thought I would have more time, but Ansem has done it again."

At the familiar name, Sephiroth frowned. "What does Ansem have to do with this?"

Id folded his hands together. "Everything, Sephiroth. His research, his knowledge, his power..." Another pause. His lips curled into a smirk. "When he arrives here, he will no longer be the Lord Ansem you knew..."

"Ansem is coming?" Sephiroth said, brow furrowing in confusion. "But why... and how?"

"You only knew one of his experiments, Sephiroth," Id explained calmly. "The Gemini Project was one of many. One of his more innocent ones... Because of his meddling, very soon creatures called the heartless—you will read about them in the books I lent you—they'll find the heart of your world and your world will collapse. Everyone will fall to the darkness, become heartless themselves..." He paused, yellow eyes shimmering in the darkness. "Ansem's meddling was originally to protect your world. Funny how in the end he will be the one to destroy it..."

"And he's coming here?" Sephiroth asked, voice tight and strained at this sudden revelation. He glanced back at Cloud, but the boy was still curled up.

Meanwhile, Id's smirk widened. "I've set it up that way."

"Why are you helping him?" the boy asked, filled with too many questions to ask any of the important ones.

"Ansem is not the villain you are making him into," Id said with obvious amusement. "Far from it. But to answer your question... I am helping him because I need his knowledge... and he needs my resources."

Riku felt the familiar helpless confusion filling Sephiroth, and then before he could process Id's next words, time was speeding up again, passing through scenes of Sephiroth and a crying Cloud, of Sephiroth training, reading, learning... A few more days must have passed. He saw Ansem's arrival—a surge of swirling darkness and long white hair as he was deposited onto the rug, much like Sephiroth had been. He saw Cloud leaving the room as Id and Ansem grew acquainted...

Time slowed again just as Sephiroth was following the boy.

"Go back to your master."

Cloud's voice was soft, withdrawn...

Sephiroth increased his pace and gently took hold of the boy's arm as they neared the end of the hallway, standing in front of the door to Cloud's room. Looking affronted, Cloud raised impatient eyes to regard his unofficial guardian as he snatched his arm back.

"Don't touch me," the blonde said, shrinking away from the older boy. "I don't care what that man told you to do... I don't need you."

"Maybe not," Sephiroth replied calmly, "but you're stuck here, as much as I am... Id is lending us his hospitality in exchange for our services. I won't let you waste your time here until he becomes impatient and gets rid of you."

Cloud pressed himself against the door, lowering his eyes to the floor with a heavy frown. "Hospitality? I... just want to go home."

"In case you've forgotten, home doesn't exist anymore," Sephiroth said, voice dark. His heart clenched a little and Riku felt a soft sadness and worry rise up in him again. Squall... Seifer... Are they all heartless now? But his face remained guarded, forcing his emotions down. "This is our home now, Cloud... You put us here."

"I did?" Cloud hissed, young face full of pain as he lifted it to meet the other boy again. His glare suddenly filled with disbelief, hatred... "You're the one who—who... If you hadn't done that..."

"We'd be gone, like the others," Sephiroth pointed out patiently. "At the time I didn't know what would happen, but I had to..."

"Ansem didn't make you do that!"

Sephiroth sighed and raised a hand to brush his bangs back a little. "...I didn't say he did, Cloud. I did it willingly."

"But then why?" the boy asked, brows set in an angry line.

"I had my reasons," Sephiroth replied quickly, leaving no room for more questions on that.

He paused to study the boy's confused frown, feeling his resolve melting away under those inquisitive blue eyes.

"Hate me if you wish..." he said slowly in a withdrawn tone as he turned his face away from Cloud. "But please accept that this is your life now. We have no options, Cloud. Our only hope is to get stronger so we can survive whatever comes our way, and to do that we must follow Id."

He turned slightly to glance at the boy, and Riku felt him wince at the sadness filling Cloud's face. The boy's eyes were lowered in thought, his lips turned downward and his brow wrinkled in concern. Sephiroth didn't like their situation either, but... What else could they do?

"I do not want to be your enemy," the silver-haired boy said, meeting Cloud's gaze as it raised to regard him again.

Something passed between them then—Riku felt a little weight lift off Sephiroth's heart. Green eyes stared pointedly into Cloud's.

"I sincerely apologize for what pain I have put you through in the past..." Sephiroth continued firmly, honesty lacing his words. "I will keep my distance from now on, if you wish. However, I told Ansem I would protect you, no matter what happened, and I intend to keep that promise." He paused one last time, new boots clicking softly against the granite floor as he turned away from the boy. When he spoke again, his voice was dark. "Hate me if you wish... but I am all you have left."

But as he started down the hallway back towards Id's study, both Riku and Sephiroth were surprised when Cloud quickly caught his arm to stop him.

"Seph... wait."

Cloud's tone was unreadable... and it gave Sephiroth unnecessary hope.

"If it's about how I wronged you..." the older boy said quietly, not turning around. "I'll never do it again."

Cloud's tone also dropped in pitch, boyish voice lined with uncertainty. "No.. um... You said I put us here," he said. "...did I really?"

Something dark swirled inside of Sephiroth, his green eyes narrowing in thought. Was Cloud really unaware of what he had done? The realization made Sephiroth feel almost empty, like... What was the point of their destiny together if Cloud had no idea what went on? Cloud needed to know.

"...you were asleep when Id explained, but... our union triggered our powers to awaken..." Sephiroth explained slowly, not sure if he even understood all of it. "And because at the time you were filled with such dark thoughts, your hatred consumed both of us. We weren't strong enough, so the power mutated our bodies... We fell into darkness and ended up here. Ansem's Gemini Project had no result. Our union merely woke our powers... "

"It was my fault..." Cloud breathed in disbelief, fingers trembling slightly around Sephiroth's arm.

Sephiroth turned, leveling his eyes on the small boy, Riku drowning in the usual sea of emotions that filled his host whenever he saw Cloud's sad face. "Yes. But.... if you hadn't... We would have ended up like everyone else," he pointed out quietly. "We're still alive because of you."

Releasing his arm, Cloud squeezed his eyes shut, his hand now clutching the loose shirt over his heart. "Squall... Aerith..."

"As far as we know, they're gone," the older boy commented carefully, feeling his own insides tighten at the thought of Squall being lost forever. "But... since this is the World of Darkness, maybe they're here somewhere."

"Do you really think so?" Cloud asked softly.

"Maybe. We can look."

Blue eyes lifted to regard Sephiroth, a glimmer of hope breaking through their sadness... And Cloud gave a tiny smile.

Cloud—behind you!! They're all around us! Keep your guard up or you'll be the next one to lose a heart!

sephiroth i wish to speak with you

id? about what?

heartless

heartless? i haven't read the book you've lent me yet the one that speaks of them

i know you've been on a few missions for me now i see that the heartless stand no chance against you

they're already getting stronger though

they will always evolve sephiroth you know the heartless are the people who lose their hearts they are born from darkness

they're people who've lost their hearts?

yes

so the heartless i'm defeating could very well be my friends and family squall zell seifer

that's right but only the natural heartless

natural heartless?

the ones marked aren't natural they were created by ansem's machine

As time shot forward in Sephiroth's memory again, that one conversation stood out the most. Riku felt an icy clenching inside of him, the sudden realization that all those heartless he had fought... They could have been Kairi, Tidus... Seiya.

He'd never thought about it.

That fact was terrifying.

Pushing his fear aside, he concentrated on the memories flashing by, catching hold of one particular moment – it must have been over a year since they'd met Id because Cloud looked more about Sora's age.

Why do I always read? Because it stops me from thinking... What about you, Cloud?

Riku wasn't sure where they were, but Sephiroth was huddled on a large stuffed armchair... and though it was dark, the page he was staring at was perfectly clear.

reading again?

Green eyes looked up just in time. A heavy blanket settled around his body, cocooning him in warmth. Cloud's eyes twinkled at him with silent laughter.

i brought you some tea

tea?

Riku felt Sephiroth frown as he took a warm porcelain cup from the younger boy.

hey don't look so down seph

i don't get you

you looked really lonely

A knowing glance.

you always look lonely too

Sad smile.

i know i'm tired of it i'm tired of fighting it

what?

i want to be friends again

i thought you hated me cloud

once

Blue stared into green, expectant, hopeful...

sephiroth i forgive you you know about hollow bastion

you forgive me how is that possible?

because i know why you did it

Sephiroth's heart skipped.

you do?

yeah i do

but

The blonde head ducked, breaking eye contact. He was almost embarrassed... or anxious about something.

you were right back then seph we should be on the same side i don't want to be your enemy either

cloud

so is that okay? are we friends?

yes

hey are you smiling?

The memory abruptly cut, spiraling him on ahead through time, passing almost another year as mere seconds. Time did not slow again until—

Behind you! No—CLOUD! Get away from him!!

A soft hiss of pain was the first thing Riku noticed when Sephiroth's eyes finally focused and he found himself and Cloud alone in a small, comfortable bedroom. A shirtless Cloud was seated on the red coverlet, an equally shirtless Sephiroth seated behind him, carefully cleaning a deep gash along Cloud's wingless shoulder. Bloody rags and dirty armor littered the rug floor, and Sephiroth's legs were beginning to go numb from lack of movement. They must have been here for a while.

"I said I would protect you, Cloud..." Sephiroth muttered quietly, fingers gently moving a warm rag up the swollen wound. "The least you could do is guard your back. We go through this all the time."

"It's my weak spot... I know," Cloud replied with a wince, his wing twitching as Sephiroth pressed into the wound. "Things have gotten better now that I have a good weapon though." At that, the blonde head turned and he smiled back at the man behind him.

Man.

And Cloud was growing up as well, his boyishness fading quickly into a handsome face. He must have been close to seventeen now...

"That buster sword? Too excessive," Sephiroth sighed, dropping the rag onto the bed before pushing his growing hair out of his way.

"I know, you prefer that hellishly long Masamune of yours. And when are you going to start tying your hair up? It's tickling my back."

"....when you stop getting yourself injured," Sephiroth replied darkly, playfully shoving at Cloud's spiky head.

The blonde turned and gave a soft glare, folding his wing as he sighed. "....one of us needs to learn healing magic."

They're getting more powerful... and they're growing in numbers. It's only a matter of time before they reach the other world.

your trust is completely in disarray

what do you mean?

A hint of an amused smile under long silver bangs.

you trust me with your life trust me as a friend as a companion and you forgive me so easily for back then for violating you

because i know you won't do it again

how can you be so sure?

i just am

These spells are too simple, Id. I need something more... dangerous.

squall? yes i still think about him all the time he was my best friend cloud

i miss him seph i miss all of them

i know

almost four years and we've found nothing here they're gone they're heartless seph heartless squall's a heartless just like the rest of them

i know cloud i know

there's nothing we can do though except fight but i'm just so tired this is my life now but will i ever be happy again?

happiness it's insignificant for warriors like us

Id and Ansem have a plan. They won't discuss it when I'm near, but... it's critical.

Time slowed again, Riku's attention suddenly focusing through the darkness on a bed in disarray. Panicked sounds filled the heavy air, dry chords of a greater tune; by now it was a song familiar to Sephiroth, having listened to it for years since their arrival here. Nevertheless, fear always struck Sephiroth's heart each time he bent over the familiar bed and attempted to wake the patron of a nightmare.

Cloud's blonde head flew left and right as he cried in his sleep, grey sheets twisted in and around his thrashing limbs, wicked wing shivering and moving in time with his body's unconscious dance.

A cold hand slipped onto his forehead, green eyes focusing on his pale face and the few locks of blonde hair drenched with nervous sweat.

"Cloud. Wake up."

Almost immediately those familiar eyes shot open and there came a sharp intake of breath as the nightmares were chased away again. Cloud half sat up, expression wrought with confusion, blue eyes swirling with fear.

He never spoke of what he dreamt on nights like these... But Sephiroth didn't need to be told.

He had the same dreams. The same fears.

"It happened again..." came the small sigh, half in shame, half still in discomfort. Cloud settled back against his pillows, wing flapping lazily against the cool mattress. "It always happens after one of Id's missions..."

Sephiroth gracefully folded his own wing as he nodded, slowly reaching forward to fix Cloud's sheets for him. "I know, Cloud... I feel it too."

"I know..."

Their eyes met as Sephiroth straightened the sheets and pulled them back up to Cloud's chest. He did these kind actions without premeditation or thought of consequences. Maybe it was in some way consolation for what Sephiroth had put Cloud through in the past, or maybe it was because he no longer had to pretend...

"You know..." Cloud said softly, managing a weak grin. "Even though I would do anything to go back to that innocence, before everything happened.... I really don't miss you torturing me." A slight pause. "I know why you changed, though..."

Sephiroth studied the younger man carefully, expression unreadable. "Do you." It wasn't a question.

The response was a slight nod before Cloud looked away, eyes distant as his fingers curled into the sheets. "...I really miss them..." he breathed. "It's been four years... but I remember them plain as day—I mean, night..." He gave a soft, dry laugh. "I honestly don't remember what the light feels like, now that I think about it. Don't remember what it feels like to stand under the sun. It's so dark here..."

Green eyes narrowed slightly, but Sephiroth said nothing as he lowered himself onto the bed to get comfortable. Cloud regarded the slight movement with a flickering smile.

"I really do remember them... Aerith's sweet laugh... Seifer's cruel pranks... Heh, even Cid's bad habit of scratching wrong places in public," Cloud said, his grin almost real. What mirth he had, however, faded quickly. "And... Squall's silent pain... his reticence..."

Sephiroth turned his face away, the familiar name rekindling a burning ache inside of him. That name always did. He couldn't leave though, not now, even though he knew where this conversation was heading. This discussion was long overdue.

"I... I remember the times when he didn't push me away, even when I hung around too much," Cloud said in a soft voice, sadly reminiscent. "I remember the horrible date we had, that Aerith put us up to. I especially remember... how much happier he always was with you... and not me."

Riku felt Sephiroth tense.... but he still said nothing.

"I always thought you two liked each other," Cloud admitted. "And that you picked on me to protect him, to keep him to yourself..." There was slight hesitation, voice lowering to a drifting whisper, almost to himself. "I never thought it was because you liked me..."

Black feathers twitched, but otherwise Sephiroth remained still. Though Cloud had hinted for a long time that he knew Sephiroth's secret, he had never said it out loud. Cloud knew Sephiroth's feelings.

A distant sigh. "We've been searching so long in this world... They're not here though," Cloud murmured. "They're nameless heartless now... I honestly don't even know when exactly I stopped believing I'd find them, and began fighting for something else... but it must have been a long time."

Sephiroth slowly raised his head, shifting his eyes to study Cloud's solemn frown. Blue eyes met his, and Cloud read his unspoken question.

"I grew up, Seph," the younger man said, voice firm but quiet. "I learned that I was chasing a false hope. And because my only reason for fighting had disappointed me, I had to look someplace else."

A curious hope rose within Sephiroth, and Riku focused on it, wondering what it meant. He was confused, unsure of what was happening between Cloud and Sephiroth at this moment, lost in the conversation... He understood it, yes, but he didn't recognize...

Until Cloud spoke again.

"You were always there..." he said, his frown softening as he spoke. "I never feel safe, except where you are... because you said you'd protect me. And you always do." He paused, hands fidgeting a little. "Even when we're out there, and I'm weak from battle and from carrying my sword... I'm never scared. Except..." Blue eyes shifted nervously away. "Except when I remember what we're fighting, and that if I make a mistake, you might disappear too..."

Riku felt Sephiroth's eyes widen as Cloud fumbled onward.

"And when I try to imagine what that would be like, continuing on alone... It hurts."

Fingers clenched into the sheets, sad eyes raising to meet Sephiroth's sharp gaze.

"That's what I dream about."

Each day I find his stare more intense...

i should have gone

it was a one man job cloud

you got hurt!

i've had worse

what if there had been more of them? what if

there wasn't i won't let them take my heart ever

i should have gone with you

And each day I see his resolve crumbling a fraction more.

When Sephiroth's memories focused once again, Riku immediately knew what was happening.

Not much time had passed since the nightmare incident in Cloud's room, for Sephiroth and Cloud seemed to be the same ages they had been in that memory. The scene had changed, however—another bedroom, presumably Sephiroth's.

The older man was laying propped up against the bed's headboard, wing hanging loosely over the edge of the mattress. He had one knee drawn up, an arm draped over it as he stared straight forward at the other occupant of the bed, who was curled up in a heavy blanket there as though hiding from something. Nervous.

Riku knew exactly what the expression on Cloud's face meant.

"You didn't answer me, Seph..."

Irony, that's what it was.

"There is nothing to answer," was Sephiroth's dark response, his eyes never straying from Cloud's face.

The blonde's wing twitched, frustrated, but he managed to keep his expression steady. "It's not hormones," he said, half insistent, half accusing. "Or because you're the only one I trust... or ever see. It's not because of Hollow Bastion either...."

Sephiroth's frown deepened, green eyes narrowing a fraction. "What do you know?"

"I know this pain in my chest..." Cloud muttered.

Countless contradicting emotions swam through Sephiroth, Riku picking up on every single one, feeling just as hopelessly confused and... amused as Sephiroth was. Destiny was indeed a bitch.

Irony, that's what this was.

"Didn't you once say... that your hands.. your lips... your everything existed so they could feel me?" Cloud whispered, hands tightening around the blanket as he stared sideways up at Sephiroth.

Cruel irony.

Sephiroth had never seen honesty so... sure. Cloud knew what he was getting into; he was scared, obviously, and rightly so... Scared that Sephiroth wouldn't take this confession seriously, especially because of their past.

But Cloud was sure.

"I don't want to wake up alone again.... Sephiroth."

Blue eyes flickered softly as the older man studied him, a long, intense silence spreading between them. They had already made up their minds.

Sephiroth raised his chin, back pressed to the headboard, and his wing folded slightly inward to get comfortable. Cloud watched every subtle movement he made, eyes never straying from his.

A strong hand gracefully stretched forward and lips curled into a tiny, tiny smirk as they parted to say the two words that would seal their fate....

"Come here."

And for the next four and a half years, Cloud did not wake up alone.


Uzumaki here with an important announcement.

This is an Intermission!!

Stop reading! Get up! Go get something to drink! Stretch your legs or something!

You still have another chapter's worth to read since this last part to Chapter 18 is twice as long as usual.

That's right, you're about halfway done...

Back now? Went pee and everything?

Okay, good. Here we go again.


Back in the Present World, life was no less complicated with Sora at Hollow Bastion

Id had fallen silent long ago and Sora now wandered the castle alone, wary of running into the that woman and her crow... and Yami. He didn't feel like conversing with anyone, let alone getting scolded for something he didn't mean to do. He just wanted to... disappear for a while.

He did not want to go back to that dark room of his.

A tingling shudder ran through him at the thought of the Rikus waiting for him there. He could technically banish them whenever he wanted, but... They were Riku. He couldn't get rid of them, no matter how uncomfortable they sometimes made him feel.

Swallowing and cringing at the aftertaste of the heartless' mouth in his, Sora stumbled onward down the corridor, completely at a loss of where he was going.

Then again, the place did look a bit familiar.

As he followed the long corridor deeper into the castle, the soft rush and trickling of water echoed towards him and he realized just where he was heading. He'd only taken this route once before, weeks ago just after Riku had woken up after the gummi ship crash.

He was heading towards the open bath. Usually he took a different hallway to reach this place, but there were a lot of other paths leading here, some coming from the more guarded places of the castle—the places he wasn't supposed to snoop around. He'd never really considered prying, but...

It was time for him to start moving forward. He didn't really have a mission for himself—he wasn't like Riku, keyblade master, or anything. He was just Sora.

He did, however, have a lot of questions about this place, and that was enough incentive to break the rules and venture into the forbidden inner sanctums of the castle. Besides, he'd already been there once... to Yami's room, when he'd seen him and Riku together... There were other doors there, other hallways to search.

There had to be answers, clues, something there. Even if he didn't have a mission, he could help someone at least, someone less capable of fulfilling theirs...

The Beast, although scary, didn't seem like a bad guy, and he was locked down there in the dungeon, helpless... He was looking for a girl named Belle and had tracked her here. Sora knew Yami did a lot of dirty work for the Mistress of the castle, so maybe this girl was here after all.

It was worth a shot. All he had to do was avoid trouble, namely Yami and that ugly big crow that liked to spy on him... Which was easier thought than done, for, unfortunately, just as Sora had finished his scheming and was approaching the archway that led into the open bath, a very familiar voice stopped him.

"Impossible."

Yami!!

Dammit, why of all times—

Wait a sec...

Sora blinked, standing just outside the arch where he couldn't be seen. Did the boy actually know he was there, or had he been talking to someone else...? Granted, Sora couldn't hear anyone else talking, but... Yami couldn't even see him yet.

Cautiously he listened, waiting for Yami to speak to him again, testing...

"You of all people know he does not love you."

The familiar voice was withdrawn, not filled with the usual condescending amusement that Yami spoke to Sora with. And in any case, the statement made no sense, even if he was speaking to Sora.

Puckering his lips in thought, Sora steeled his nerves and slowly peeked his head around the arch to see what was going on.

Yami was standing alone in the middle of the large bathing pool, completely stripped of clothes with his back mostly towards the archway where Sora was, but Sora could still see part of his front. He looked disgruntled, as though he were conversing with someone he really didn't like. But... well, no one else was there. No one was with him.

"Honestly? ...No, I did not."

Actually, completely oblivious to Sora's appearance, the older boy continued speaking as he lathered a layer of soap with his hands and smoothed it over his abdomen, working his way up to his chest and arms.

Sora frowned at the sight in front of him, not just because he was confused, but because he did have to admit he could see why Riku had been attracted to Yami... The guy really did have a great body.

Argh...

The brunette tore his eyes away and blushed, ashamed of himself and hating Yami even more. Everything was his fault. Even if he was good looking, that didn't mean he could... with Riku...

"I already apologized for deceiving you, but it was necessary."

While Yami spoke to his invisible guest again, Sora snuck into the open bath and crept along the wall, as quiet as the shadows as he slipped around the pool without catching Yami's attention.

As Sora kept his eye on the older boy to make sure he wasn't noticed, he couldn't help, well, glaring at him...

Yami's body wasn't as muscled as Riku's—not that Riku's body was overly muscled or anything, because it wasn't—but the tan-skinned boy did have obvious assets that reminded Sora he wasn't just a mysterious spell caster, but a great fighter as well... There was no baby fat, there was no extra meat on him... Yami's body was almost perfect.

Too perfect, perhaps...

Sora couldn't help feeling the bitter envy swelling inside of him.

"Can I not bathe in peace?" Yami sighed suddenly, running a foamy hand through his drenched white hair. At that moment, with that expression, he looked so much older than he really was... So much more weary, and... lonely.

Sora was alone too though.

Reaching his destination, the boy quickly ducked behind the archway, peeking his head back to steal one last glance at the person that had ruined his life. Sora's eyes narrowed.

From this angle, Yami had an almost effeminate look to him... the curve of his cheeks, lips, and jaw... and the slenderness of his back. It was almost strange how dangerously beautiful he could look one second, and then so weary and old the next...

And who the hell was he talking to anyway?

"....I should have never created you."

An invisible friend maybe?

Sora's frown deepened with curiosity as he finally turned away, trying to push those questions down for later. He had other things to be concerned about right now. Now that he'd gotten past the hard part, he just had to keep from getting caught.

Forcing back the disturbing feeling Yami usually gave him, he put a smile on his face and silently continued on his journey.

He didn't sense the pair of yellow eyes watching him disappear down the hallway, or the smirk that followed.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Sephiroth was, for lack of a better word, happy.

The remaining years in his memory were full of many pleasurable nights with him and Cloud, and mornings waking up together and having another round in the sheets. And as the loving scenes moved quickly by, Riku had some time to piece together what he had experienced and learned.

Sephiroth may have made a terrible mistake taking advantage of Cloud all those years ago, but... Cloud had forgiven him. Cloud had grown to love him anyway. Cloud had wanted to have a relationship with him. And now they were lovers.

No wonder Cloud had been so upset with Sephiroth at the coliseum—he had remembered the rape, but... nothing else. And... No wonder Sephiroth had felt so upset when he realized Cloud had forgotten those nine years together...

Their fight really had been meaningless. They loved each other, but something was stopping Cloud from remembering everything.

The memories were beginning to slow again and Riku snapped to attention, skimming over the many sex scenes to get to what Sephiroth wanted him to know. There was obviously still more, if Riku was still stuck here in the memories... Sephiroth had something else to show him.

When things focused again and Riku found Sephiroth standing before Id in an unfamiliar room, he was startled to see Sephiroth's reflection in the mirrors behind Id. It was dark as usual, but Riku could still see that he looked... like Sephiroth. Present day Sephiroth. Riku wasn't sure how much time had passed, but if it was so close to the present, that meant almost nine years had passed since the fall of Hollow Bastion.

"Ansem and I are ready," Id was saying, yellow eyes leveled on Sephiroth. "We've been ready for years now, of course, but now is the ideal time. My power, for instance, is great enough now to carry through with our plans." He paused, frowning a little through the shadows. "There's a problem, however, and that's why I have summoned you."

Sephiroth curtly nodded, his arms folded across his chest. "You've been planning this since Cloud and I arrived here. I admit I am eager to hear what you have planned..."

Id's lips curled into a smile. "Of course," he said with a soft drawl. "With my power, I will be sending Ansem back through the darkness to the Present World to fulfill our plans. I cannot bestow the information to you, Sephiroth, as curious as you are. It's too dangerous. However, I need someone to accompany Ansem as his protection."

Riku felt a heavy disappointment fill Sephiroth—obviously he had been excited about this, only to learn Id was still going to hold out on him. But with the sudden prospect of returning to the Present World...

Green eyes widened slightly in awe.

That might not have been much of a reaction to such startling news, but... like everything else dealing with Sephiroth, there was more than met the eye. Nine years had done their toll on Sephiroth, shaping him into the lethal warrior Riku had met at the coliseum, and building him into the cold, calculating mystery that puzzled everyone, mask after mask hiding his true emotions and intentions. To Riku he was something much more now, but the boy hadn't forgotten that he was the only one who had shared Sephiroth's emotions, all these personal memories... To other people, Sephiroth must seem dangerously imposing, quietly lethal....

Even now, people may only see Sephiroth's eyes widened just a fraction, but Riku felt and understood the turmoil of emotions that circled inside of Sephiroth as he made that simple gesture.

As Sephiroth stood there with a completely straight face, Riku knew just what questions he wanted to ask, what answers he wanted to demand, what requests he wanted to give... But after nine years of servitude, the man knew his place. Id was still his master.

Burying his frustration, Sephiroth merely asked, "Why does Ansem need protection?"

Obviously amused, for Id probably knew exactly how much he pissed off Sephiroth, Id's smile widened at the one question. "In order to arrive here from the Present World, all those years ago, Ansem underwent an experiment... and separated himself into different pieces, you could say. Here in the World of Darkness he appears as the Ansem you knew, but... in the Present World, he will be only one of those pieces. He will need protection in his weak state."

Pieces?

I want you to go, Cloud. You've been wanting to see the sun for years...

Time jerked forward suddenly and Riku found Sephiroth approaching adult Cloud, who seemed to be getting ready.

be careful cloud

i will you know i don't trust ansem i'll keep my eye on him and his plan

even if you don't like what he's doing do not act against him cloud

even if he plans on destroying other innocent lives? corrupting children like he did with us?

just don't fight him he may seem weak as he is now but don't underestimate him

seph i won't let anyone else suffer as we have!

i know you still hold a grudge against him from hollow bastion cloud but this isn't your fight

seph

let him do what he wants and then come back to me safely

Did they make it, master? Did they make it to the Present World?

Time spun forward again, showing scene after scene of Sephiroth sitting alone, simply waiting... waiting.... waiting.....

"They're not back yet...."

"Patience, Sephiroth... Patience."

"I was patient. It's been long enough. Find Cloud and bring him back."

Cloud never came back.

Id? Wake up.

I don't know why you've been sleeping for a week, but come back already.

You took Cloud away from me... You can't leave me too.

"Why were you asleep for so long, Id?"

"He has awakened. Ansem succeeded."

"What happened?"

"Never mind that. I've seen the Present World, and I have found your Cloud."

"Where is he?!"

"I will send you there to look for him."

Light.... so much light. It's been nine years since I've seen the sun.

Cloud... Where are you?

Riku suddenly saw flashes of memory of a familiar world—the coliseum!!—and people shrinking in fear as Sephiroth stood in the middle of the courtyard with his sword drawn and his wing stretched fully out.

I'm looking for a man...

Now he was standing before Hades.

cloud? not here anymore

where did he go?

i kicked him out ahh—

The ringing of cold metal filled the air as Sephiroth brought his weapon forward to emphasize his urgency.

where did he go?

zeus if i know haha, put the sword down he'll be back

how can you be so sure?

they always come back why don't you take place in some matches until he gets his blonde ass back here?

maybe it has been a while since i've fought anyone worthy

The Masamune lowered and Hades considerably relaxed.

what do you want with that kid anyway?

he's my other half

My name is Sephiroth.

Riku was swept through fight after fight, Sephiroth winning each time without breaking a sweat. His most challenging fight had been Hades, but mainly because he had tried so hard to avoid Hades's flames, so as to not singe his hair or the feathers on his wing.

A few days seemed to pass at the coliseum, Sephiroth coming and going, returning to the World of Darkness once or twice to sleep in peace before Id sent him back to search for Cloud again. Each day he hoped for the blonde's sudden appearance, and each day he grew more impatient with the people around him, his fighting becoming more merciless, and his opponents become weaker and weaker until—

you're up again stranger

what fool has decided to fight me this time?

someone you'll find very interesting

And all of a sudden Riku saw himself standing there (wow, he actually did look good in his new outfit!), as though he were looking in a mirror. His green eyes were wide with awe as he watched Sephiroth rise to his feet, silver hair dancing in the breeze as he stretched his long wing out. Their eyes met and he heard himself speak—

"Sephiroth."

Riku felt his host's heart jerk in surprise, in recognition—

How does this boy know my name?

Time skipped forward through their quick fight, Sephiroth's body swimming with excitement at fighting a keyblade master, wondering about the child he was fighting (feels so familiar—looks just like me—so young to be wielding such a gift—skill is extraordinary), wondering about the effects Sin Harvest were having on him, wondering about the painfully familiar voice screaming to them...

His attention focused when he felt the strong push against his blade—more powerful and steady and practiced than the boy's blocks. Green eyes focused in front of him, expecting to see the boy staring back at him, only to meet—

"Cloud."

Surprise and heavy relief swam through Sephiroth in that split second (I've found him at last.) and he was so ready to pull away from the fight and go home happy, but...

Cloud's grip on his buster sword wavered just a little, and every bit of happiness Sephiroth had felt was overcome with sudden fear.

A flinch? Yes, that had been a flinch. But what did that mean? He is scared of me? It certainly seemed like it... But why would Cloud be scared of him? Unless... Unless—

It can't be... No. He didn't want to believe it just yet.

"I've been searching for you," he said in a calm voice that betrayed his pounding heart. He had to let Cloud know, he had to make him understand how worried he had been, he had to make sure Cloud was okay.

But those blue eyes reflected deep anger, grief...

What did that mean?

Uncertainty filled Sephiroth, his sharp gaze carefully studying the familiar face in front of his...

"As long as you exist, I can't wake from this nightmare."

And Sephiroth finally understood.

Cloud... had forgotten.

If this is what fate had in store for me, then so be it.

stop fighting both of you! there's no point to this!

riku you shouldn't be up here! now move!!

what the hell are you fighting for cloud?! don't you want to know what happened to you during those nine years?

I did not expect such a rough welcome from you....

It was strange reliving these scenes from a few hours ago from another person's eyes, but Riku was able to see how reckless he had been, and how Sephiroth had felt through all of it. He especially caught one certain detail he had missed out on the first time.

When they had set foot on land again, Riku had been too preoccupied with returning Pegasus that he completely overlooked an important reunion.

Sephiroth had just folded his wing and sheathed Masamune when he raised his head and caught sight of him. Riku felt the shock, the overwhelming mix of relief and sudden hope—

Squall was alive.

Squall wasn't a heartless.

It had been nine years and Squall had grown and changed and—was that a scar?—but Sephiroth still recognized his best friend of once upon a time, the small, reserved child of his past, one of his few precious people...

All that searching hadn't been in vain. He... was alive...

Although Sephiroth wished to smile and embrace his old friend as any normal person would after nine years of pain and loneliness... he couldn't. Not only would it have broken the many masks he had built, but the look on Squall's face...

The way Cloud was suddenly standing so close to Squall...

And the subtle changes in Squall's face as he welcomed Cloud back...

It was all wrong.

In those few weeks.... Sephiroth had completely lost Cloud to his past. Funny, it was... Those few weeks had seemed like an eternity to Sephiroth as he had sat alone in the World of Darkness, waiting for Cloud to come back to him... when all along Cloud had forgotten him. A few weeks... nine years had been erased and Sephiroth's life had turned completely inside out.

Irony, that's what it was. Cruel irony.

I find it almost disturbing, how much of myself I see in you.

Riku watched as the memories jerked ahead once again, seeing himself approaching Sephiroth in the bath, talking... He felt a little embarrassed when he unceremoniously passed out in Sephiroth's arms as the keyblade drew him into Sephiroth's memories.

Most of all, he was surprised the memories were still going. What else did Sephiroth want him to see?!

He felt his host's gaze soften as he stared down at Riku's sleeping body. Slowly Sephiroth drew the smaller body into his lap and slid a hand through his soft hair. A tiny curl of a smirk touched his lips.

"So young..."

Although he felt a little disturbed watching his unconscious body getting pet by Sephiroth, Riku couldn't help wondering about it and also feeling a little... warm. The man was studying his face, his fingers brushing over his cheeks and lips with intent fascination.

Riku was fascinated too... seeing how innocent he looked in that state. He seemed so open and peaceful, so... vulnerable.

"Sephiroth!"

At the accusing cry, the silver-haired man calmly raised his head to meet the two men now standing before him. Cloud's blue eyes were narrowed, hard with angered disbelief—but Leon looked slightly more calm, merely regarding Sephiroth with a solemn frown. No doubt Cloud and Leon were jumping to strange conclusions. Then again, after all of those suspicions against Sephiroth, the sight of an unconscious keyblade master laying in his lap did look a bit incriminating. Sephiroth, however, was in no hurry to defend himself. Instead, he smirked, fingers still tangled in Riku's fine hair.

"He's merely asleep."

"What did you do to him?" Cloud asked in a dark, quiet voice as he swooped down to take Riku from him. Their arms brushed and the blonde flinched a little, cold blue eyes meeting Sephiroth's calm stare.

Sephiroth smiled secretively as he slowly rose to his feet, presumably to get dressed.

"He wanted to understand."

And now Riku did.

I had forgotten about it for a long time, but... I once had the same look in my eyes.

he's at a delicate age one bad decision can change his entire life

we may be already too late for that

riku has to fix things for himself though

we try to support him but he just closes himself off

and what about you cloud?

what?

he closes off as well

leon!

i'm not taking sides cloud you know it's true

there is a difference between them however

sephiroth?

cloud closes off because he does not remember

Come here, Cloud. I won't hurt you. You... need to remember.

It was warm, sweet, so softly wet and familiar. Sephiroth had missed these kisses. Cloud may not have been a willing participant this time, but that was due to change very soon. Riku didn't even fight the emotions, simply melting into them as Sephiroth did, barely noticing the fact Sephiroth was indeed now mostly dressed, back in his earlier attire, minus a few accessories. The towel from earlier was crumpled on the floor.

As an irate Leon watched, Sephiroth pushed deeper into Cloud's mouth, the blonde's body tense under his hands as they held the younger man in place, making sure he couldn't pull away. At first Cloud did fight the sudden attack of intimacy, but as sure as the darkness sleeping inside both of them, Cloud's body remembered Sephiroth's touch.

Slowly they relaxed into each other, Cloud hesitantly opening himself to Sephiroth who wasted no time in pursuing Cloud's affections. He could feel the blonde's racing pulse beneath his fingertips, and the familiar shudder of pleasure he usually gave when Sephiroth took complete control of their kisses... And he could feel the curious familiarity Cloud suddenly exuded in return. His fingers cautiously rose to Sephiroth's chest, fisting into the stiff material of his coat... and there was a soft pressure, nearly in awe—the tiny tugging of a smile on Cloud's lips.

Almost testing, their powers gently touched, Sephiroth pushing a little into Cloud's dark magic, hoping, searching—

And then all at once, it fell apart. Or rather, it all fell back into place.

Cloud suddenly pushed Sephiroth away, a strangled cry of breathless pain tearing from him as he collapsed onto the ground. Almost immediately Leon and Sephiroth were knelt beside him, arms embracing and hands restraining to keep him safe, still... His smaller body was violently shaking between the other men, his fingers fisting into his own hair as he half-whimpered, face bowed and hidden from them.

"Cloud—"

Leon spoke directly into his ear, voice thin and controlled but strained with obvious concern.

Cloud merely shook, his wing tightly coiled against his body, trembling knuckles white with pressure as he squeezed at his head.

"H-He...!" he choked, voice hoarse and deep with pain.

"Cloud—!" Leon tried again, his mask slipping a little and reflecting real worry. His arms tightened around the younger man, completely ignoring Sephiroth's own hold on him, and cupped the man's chin in his palm, easing his face up.

"F-Fuck..." Cloud rasped, letting Leon raise his head. "Seph... He...."

Streams of tears ran down his cheeks, blue eyes impossibly wide, a thin line of red blood trickling from his nose.

Sephiroth glanced away with a heavy frown, Riku feeling an aching kind of regret filling him. That was weird... Why would Sephiroth feel guilty about something like that?

"He remembers," he said in a voice of monotone, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath.

Even though Leon said nothing in return, Sephiroth felt the man's body tense at his words. It was just a tightening of muscles and straightening of his back, but... it was still a reaction.

Those little reactions were betraying Leon... and from them Sephiroth could see how much the man really did care for Cloud.

But... Even though Cloud was no doubt stuck in a dilemma between his two lovers, now wasn't the time to solve this love triangle problem. Important questions had to be answered first.

Sliding a bare hand over Cloud's cheek, Sephiroth moved in front of him, gently running a thumb over Cloud's brow to ease his nerves. "Cloud," he said sternly, watching the younger man's body shudder with less intensity than before. "Cloud... I need you to listen."

Misty blue eyes rose to meet his grave stare. "S-Seph..."

"I know, Cloud," he said quietly, just slightly shaking his head and managing a ghost of a smile of concern. "That will come later, I assure you. Right now, however, you need to get control of yourself and answer some questions. You have been through a lot, and I'm sure after that particular memory refresher, you feel even worse... but do this for me."

A soft understanding lit Cloud's eyes as they stared at each other, and after a moment of silence Cloud finally nodded. "Alright."

Leon suddenly stuck his arm between them and, almost nonchalantly, he turned Cloud to face him, muttering, "You're a mess..." as he wiped up the man's tears and nosebleed with Sephiroth's discarded rag of a towel.

Mild jealousy filled Sephiroth as Cloud gave Leon a small, genuine smile, still too shaken up for much else. It hurt to see Cloud respond like that to someone else, and even though Sephiroth understood what had probably happened between the two men to make them come together, it still piqued his possessive nature. He forced down the bitter feeling before it made him do anything childish. Instead, he slipped a hand into Cloud's tangled hair and forced on an expressionless face.

"Cloud..."

Blue eyes flickered up to meet his gaze again, and he couldn't help the warmth he felt inside at being the recipient of that stare again. He'd never say it publicly, but... those weeks without Cloud... had been the worst kind of torture. Sephiroth wanted to know why—what had happened to keep Cloud here, to erase his memory...

"Cloud," he said in a grave voice, his gaze sharp but patient. "What happened with Ansem?"

Even Leon shifted uneasily at that name. "Ansem? What does—"

"I don't know, Seph," Cloud interrupted quietly, lowering his trembling hands as he studied Sephiroth's face. "Ansem and I were separated when Id sent us over... I ended up here alone and..."

"Couldn't remember anything," Sephiroth finished for him, frowning. "Anything from the past nine years, in any case. Sounds as though your memory loss was intentional..."

Leon glanced between the men, probably confused, and it was obvious he wanted to cut in with some questions... but he remained silent, waiting for them to acknowledge him instead.

"But what would they gain from my amnesia?" Cloud asked, finally loosening up a little and relaxing against the other men.

Sephiroth's frown deepened. "Time, maybe..."

Or someone was playing with them, Riku added silently, a familiar unsettling feeling nagging at him. Maybe someone was... experimenting.

What could be gained from wiping Cloud's memories of the World of Darkness, Id, and Sephiroth? It had basically only resulted in Cloud hating Sephiroth again for what had happened nine years ago... Though, it also threw Sephiroth a little off balance and worried... He'd had to rely on Id's help to return to the Present World to find Cloud...

Well, whatever the motive had been, it just didn't make much sense. In fact, after all that, there were a lot of holes now, like... now where was this man named Anse—

Riku's thoughts abruptly trailed off.

Yami.

There was no doubt in Riku's mind that Yami was the key to all the holes in the story. He needed to find Yami.

"—does this mean?"

Riku was suddenly returned to the conversation at hand, realizing he'd missed part of it with his wandering thoughts.

"Cloud will be coming back with me," Sephiroth replied to whatever Leon's question had been. His voice left no room for argument, but naturally there would be trouble later about it. "He belongs at my side."

Inside of him, Riku felt the rising of Sephiroth's possessiveness—it seemed he wasn't ready to share Cloud, even if Cloud and Leon were together now. Now that... was a hard choice.

And even though Leon said nothing, he was almost bristling, grey eyes dark with anger.

Cloud wisely cut in, his voice firm, but still retaining some shakiness from earlier. "I'm not in the darkness anymore, Seph... I will be making my own decisions now."

"But you belong there," Sephiroth replied in a quiet, sinister voice. As much as he did want Cloud to live free and outside of Id's care, Sephiroth himself was still trapped... and didn't want to be alone. He had no choice, except to do this... "You think anyone else will accept you, Cloud?" he asked a bit coldly. "You're no longer human."

"Sephiroth—" Leon began to growl, warning...

But the older man continued, green eyes narrowing at Cloud. "You understand that," he said, watching the blonde's face darken. "Come back with me... I worked so hard to find you..."

"What about what Cloud wants?" Leon callously demanded.

Riku felt a sharp anger surge within Sephiroth just then, but Cloud's voice made it disperse again.

"I know what I want," Cloud muttered, looking away, "but I don't know what to do..."

"You do what we planned to do," Leon said, right to the point. "We go with Riku, find the gummi piece, help him seal the worlds and find Sora again."

"But—"

An almost obscenely sensual gasp suddenly cut through their conversation, and three heads with raised eyebrows turned towards the sleeping Riku where he lay on a bench not too far away. Riku watched through Sephiroth's eyes as his other self shuddered a little in his sleep, his right shoulder twitching.

What the...? Why had he made such a noise?!

For a moment he felt embarrassed, seeing the curious looks on Leon and Cloud's faces, and Sephiroth's amused smirk—but then he thought about why he might have done that in his sleep in the first place.

Dreaming Riku was experiencing Sephiroth's wing unfolding for the first time. If he had been in his own body, he knew a series of shivers would have passed through him, just remembering how extraordinary the wing had first felt.

"What exactly did you do to him..?" Cloud wondered aloud, watching Riku's sleeping body in case he did something else.

Sephiroth's smirk curled a little more. "He wanted to understand."

Green eyes met blue and Cloud suddenly looked serious. "Leon needs to understand too."

Those two... Riku, I wonder... Are they always like that?

Time hopped forward again, Riku trying hard to keep up as the scene moved quickly past, though actually there wasn't much to keep up with. He saw Leon and Cloud leave to talk, and Sephiroth just sitting alone with Riku for some time... petting him again. Weirdo. Riku's body in the real world twitched again a few times in response to reliving Sephiroth's memories, but nothing was as dramatic as the wing thing.

As usual, he wasn't sure how much time passed, but Cloud returned without Leon some time later, quietly coming upon Sephiroth studying Riku's unconscious body again.

riku looks so much like you it's almost surreal with you two so close like that

Sephiroth slowly looked up with a small smirk.

he does bring back old memories so you talked to squall how did it go?

it's leon now and he understands he doesn't like it but he understands

A short nod.

and your decision?

i can't make that choice and you know it seph i never stopped loving squall all those years

A soft, sad smile stretched across Sephiroth's lips.

neither did i

Cloud studied him quietly for a moment, frowning.

you have an idea i can tell

Another nod.

i do i'm not sure i like it yet however we'll discuss it later

alright phil is closing the bath soon so we have to move outside

it's almost nightfall isn't it? after nine years only a few days under the sun and i'm already used to the day and night cycle

Resting a hand on the other man's shoulder, Cloud gently shook his head to stop him from speaking further.

seph not now everyone's setting up tents we got two for the four of us

alright i'll bring the boy

But instead of time skipping forward suddenly like it usually did, his mind went blank and he fell into a soft, comfortable darkness.

It's time. Go ahead and wake up now...

...and he did.

Slowly his eyes fluttered open, green gaze immediately focusing on the handsome face hovering over him.

Sephiroth.

He seemed to be laying yet again in his lap, though this time he felt a little too groggy to pull away or complain. A warm hand was running over and over again through his hair, gentle and soothing, and Riku couldn't help smiling and settling more fully into Sephiroth's comfort. The older man returned the expression with an intent stare.

It was just the two of them at the moment, and they were in what seemed to be a fairly plain tent. Beyond Sephiroth, Riku could see more tents outside, and beyond that—orange coliseum walls, and a dark, clear night sky.

"What did you see?" Sephiroth finally asked, fingers pressing a little more firmly against Riku's skull.

A little shiver of pleasure made Riku tense up for a second. "Everything," he replied lazily, tilting his head back, draping it over Sephiroth's leg as he stared out the tent upside down.

"I assume you feel fine, then," Sephiroth murmured, forming a tiny smirk.

"Mmm... Tired," Riku commented, eyes drooping as he smiled back. "A little drifty..."

A soft chuckle was the reply.

Riku reached up, arching an arm over him before bringing it down to rub at his forehead, yawning softly as he spoke again. "So... what's going to happen with you, Cloud, and Leon?"

Green eyes narrowed slightly at the question, shifting away. "Cloud and I have an idea. However... it is rather precarious, considering Squall's personality. Also, I am not too sure of it myself."

Giving a soft sigh, Riku nodded, lips forming a thoughtful frown. "I don't see how all three of you can come out of this happy," he admitted quietly. "At first I thought Leon and Cloud were meant to be together, but after witnessing all your memories..."

"Don't," Sephiroth warned, gaze once again sharp and staring at him. "Just because Squall hasn't suffered what I have doesn't mean he deserves less. Just like you did not understand my story, you probably do not understand his." He paused, and as an afterthought, he added softly, "None of us do."

Riku fell silent after that, lowering his eyes and just letting the older man continue his gentle ministrations. He ran over everything he had witnessed while trapped in Sephiroth's memories—from the Gemini Project, to Id's mysterious ways, to Sephiroth and Cloud's strange relationship.... It was just so much information to take in. If called upon to recite such a story, Riku wouldn't even know where to begin. So many things confused him, brought up more questions...

Most importantly, of course, were Ansem and Yami...

"Sephiroth..." Riku said quietly, to get his attention. "What was Ansem like?"

Unfortunately fate had other plans for Riku that night, and getting answers wasn't part of them.

Cloud suddenly ducked into the tent and, upon seeing Riku was finally back in the world of the living, he gave a relieved smile. "Riku... You're finally awake."

Disappointed with Cloud's appearance—he probably wouldn't be getting answers now—Riku cautiously exchanged a look with Sephiroth, unsure if he should share what he now knew with everyone... but then he glanced back at Cloud. It was so weird seeing him like this again... from his own point of view... The strange thing about it, however, was that he was feeling guilty about the rape nine years ago. Riku had been there, in Sephiroth's memories, and... he remembered how it had felt...

Hoping no one saw his sudden shiver of delight, Riku gave a short nod in response to Cloud. "Yeah, sorry to worry you..."

He decided he did not want to share what he'd seen. It would only complicate things further, and no one needed that extra burden.

"Is he awake?" Leon appeared behind Cloud, peering into the tent. "Riku..." he breathed—was that concern? But before any of them could bat an eyelid, Leon had already pushed past Cloud and knelt beside Riku to check the temperature of his forehead. "You're a little hot... Should get some sleep," he said, and then added with a stern frown before Riku could give a smart reply— "Real sleep, Riku."

As the boy frowned in indignation, he felt Sephiroth nodding above him. "He's right," the man said as he carefully eased Riku off his lap and set him on what seemed to be a makeshift bed of white toga sheets and ratty towels from the public bath draped over the sand floor. It wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep, but... now that the prospect of sleep had been brought up, it was beginning to sound really good.

"Fine," Riku sighed, settling down into the sheets.

"And I shall leave you two to talk," Sephiroth said casually as he got to his feet and ducked through the opening of the tent, carefully folding his wing. "I need to speak with Cloud. Alone."

Cloud nodded, flashing Leon a quick smile before he disappeared with Sephiroth, leaving the brunette and Riku alone.

As much as Riku did want to talk to Leon about things, he wasn't sure how to approach the subjects he wanted to discuss. With Leon, one had to be careful about these kinds of things... otherwise the guy would brush the subject aside or just reply with "Whatever."

Maybe if he didn't try to beat around the bush...

"Are you and Cloud still going to be a couple, even with Sephiroth in the picture?" he asked.

Leon froze up at the question, not even bothering to meet Riku's gaze as he sat there quietly, almost lost in deep thought... But after a moment he finally muttered, "...Sorry, but I'm gonna pass on that subject."

He did that a lot, actually. It was one of the things Riku admired about the guy, even though it was a trait that could also easily piss him off. Riku liked that patience—Leon wasn't reckless like Riku, or even Sora. He thought about everything, but kept almost all of it to himself. For some reason it reminded him of Yami.

Sometimes Riku wanted to get into his brain and see just what he could find... kinda like what Sephiroth had let him do to him... But Leon wasn't a Gemini and didn't carry that kind of power, so it was impossible. The only way for Riku to know what went on in Leon's brain was for Leon to actually share it with him.

Hah.

Well, maybe if Riku loosened him up a little...

Realizing Leon had gone all quiet again, Riku smiled, stretching his leg to lightly kick at the man's arm in a playful gesture. "Hehe, you're off in your own little world again, Leon," he teased with a small grin, watching a flash of irritation cross the man's face. "I think it's cute when you do that."

Leon glanced away with a low, "Whatever." He hesitated for a moment, frowning as he shifted his eyes back over to Riku. "To answer your question... Whatever happens, happens. Reality isn't so kind. Everything doesn't work out the way you want it to."

"So you think Cloud is going to choose Sephiroth, and that's why..." Riku let it trail off, and Leon sighed, picking up where he left off.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I'm trying not to think about it..."

"But you're still thinking about it," Riku mused, feeling really awful for the guy...

After all of that coliseum mumbo jumbo, and then the time spent helping Cloud recover in Traverse Town... all of that angst, all of those awkward smiles and stuff... After all of that, and finally realizing his feelings for Cloud, Leon was prepared to give it all up already? To his former best friend?

Well... that was just stupid.

"You're giving up too easily," Riku sighed.

"Are you done yet...?" Leon asked quietly. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"...I don't know."

"I think running away from it is only going to make it worse," Riku muttered, turning his face up to stare at the arch of the tent.

"Think what you want," Leon replied. "And in any case... You're running from something too. Most of us are."

An uncomfortable silence spread between them, thick with unasked questions and buried answers, neither of them really wanting to continue on with that subject anymore. It was too... raw. Riku was scared to think about it too.

That's how Leon must feel about it as well.

Frowning up at the tent stretched above him, Riku thought back to his time in Sephiroth's memories, contemplating what Sephiroth was running from. After that experience, Riku really wasn't so worried about him anymore. Before he had been a little cautious, but now that he understood... He really saw where Sephiroth was coming from.

Riku did understand that even though Cloud had been the one who pulled them into darkness, Sephiroth now seemed to be the dark one of the Gemini pairing. He held a lot of pure intentions behind his actions, but... Sephiroth wasn't pure himself. There was a lot of negativity inside of him, just waiting to break free...

That of course led Riku to ponder what Sephiroth had told him earlier in the day, about Sin Harvest...

I find it almost disturbing, how much of myself I see in you...

There is another side to you that not even you know exists, boy.

A Darkness.

Keyblade master, are you sure you're on the right side?

Riku swallowed thickly, feeling a kind of sick dread settling inside of him. There was a lot of truth behind those words... Sephiroth had been partially right. Riku had noticed some things about him that he wasn't particularly proud of.

Like the rape... he liked that kind of control... And the wing. He liked the wing. Sephiroth's beautiful power, too. He liked having it...

"Leon..." he said slowly, almost nervously although he did his best to keep his voice straight.

"Hm?"

"Um... Is what we're doing.... right?" he asked... and then realizing how dumb that sounded, he added onto it. "I mean, who's to say that what Ansem was trying wasn't going to be good in the long run? The Gemini thing, and all his other experiments... I know we're doing the right thing by saving as many people as we can and suppressing the heartless, but... There has to be a reason behind the heartless in the first place, right?"

As his words died off and another silence stretched between them, Riku felt a little silly with himself. Here he was, Savior of the worlds, doubting his mission... Playing the line between light and darkness.

But it seemed.... maybe Leon understood after all.

"Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies," the man said carefully, gazing solemnly down at Riku. "It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us." He paused for a second, frown thinning a little. "Before Cloud remembered everything, I had been sitting there, thinking to myself... 'I should be more angry about the situation. I should be angry about Sephiroth raping Cloud, about Sephiroth acting so superior,' and... well... The point is that I couldn't bring myself to be honestly angry. I admit I got jealous when he claimed Cloud as his... but I couldn't fight him."

Riku blinked up at him, curious.

Leon continued in a firmer tone. "A part of me knew I should hate Sephiroth for what he had done, but the other part was just relieved to see him alive and well. The two of us used to be so close, and when he and Cloud disappeared from my life shortly before Hollow Bastion fell... I didn't know how I was going to live."

The man stopped here for a moment, turning his gaze away again, and Riku watched the changes in his face as he tried to form the words for what he wanted to say.

"Someday you're bound to lose everything. Everybody around you will be gone," he explained a little coldly, eyes dark and distant. "Then what are you left with? Nothing. Nobody... It's so miserable. And it's inevitable."

"Leon..." Riku breathed, a little surprised at the man's words. Is that really what he thought...? That was so... depressing.

"It's so hard to recover from something like that," Leon muttered. "I never ever want to deal with that again. It's happened too many times in my past." He shook his head, narrowing his eyes as he returned his gaze to Riku. "So I can't be mad at Sephiroth. I once tried hating him, but I couldn't. The standpoint just didn't work. So he can do whatever he wants... I just don't want to be alone again. That's what I fight for." He paused again, giving a dry little smirk. "Nothing is right or wrong about that, Riku... And nothing is right or wrong about Sephiroth wanting Cloud back on his side. Those are our different standpoints. The same can be said about you and Sora, or even Yami... Your enemies aren't necessarily evil. They just think differently."

Too moved to really reply with a coherent thought, Riku gave a quiet, "Oh..." in response, letting that subject drop as well.

He'd never really thought about it that way...

But then, if Leon wasn't mad at Sephiroth... why didn't he tell them? It just didn't seem fair. Sure, Sephiroth and Cloud had been together for several years before Cloud and Leon had hit it off, but Leon really cared about Cloud, and they were all friends... They shouldn't have to fight over this. It was just so wrong.

"Hey Leon..." Riku said, filling the thick silence with another of his abrupt questions. "Why don't you just go find Cloud and Sephiroth and talk to them?"

After a moment of silence, Leon sighed. "They've been gone well over an hour... do you really think they're still talking?"

"Well, why wouldn't they... be....." Riku began, trailing off as the suggestive comment hit him. "Oh," he mouthed, looking down with a soft blush. "Well... still... I think you should go talk to them. I don't think Sephiroth understands your standpoint. Hint hint."

Leon managed an amused smile at that. "Maybe. I guess I can't cause any more damage."

"Yeah," Riku agreed, returning the smile. "I'll get some rest. You go clear some things up with them."

As Leon got to his feet and ducked out of the tent, he paused a second, giving the boy a meaningful glance. "I'll be back," he said... but somehow, Riku thought he really meant something else.

Thanks.

When Leon left, Riku looked away from the tent exit, curling up a little as he contemplated Leon's words.... but the more he thought about it, the more confused he became about his own standpoint. He had thought he'd had it—he was fighting to save the worlds, right? To stop the heartless? But... something felt wrong about it.

Back then, Leon had said Duty versus Happiness....

Riku had chosen Duty... so why did it feel so wrong?

But then... there was no right or wrong. Argh.

Covering his face with his hands, he shuddered, just deciding to get some sleep instead of waiting for the others to return. They were probably all sitting around discussing things in their other tent, wherever it was. With that image in mind, Riku closed his eyes and slowly let the murmur of warriors in surrounding tents lull him off to sleep.

Leon, Cloud, nor Sephiroth came back that night.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Sora had done it.

He was well within the inner parts of the castle, sneaking room to room to find whatever he was looking for. So far he hadn't been caught... but that was likely to change, each passing minute making him increasingly nervous.

So far he'd found a few strange rooms—an old laboratory with weird sketches dotting the walls, a few empty bedrooms... and Yami's bedroom, which turned up nothing. But he wasn't going to give up yet! He could feel it inside of him—he was getting close to something good.

He just had to find the right room...

CAW!!

Sora froze in the middle of the long corridor, the annoying call echoing in his ears. Ahh, shit... He couldn't get caught now! Especially by that woman's crow!

He glanced both ways down the hall, trying to determine which way the crow was, but then, feeling excessively paranoid, he just decided to duck into the nearest room. He quietly opened the door and slipped inside, quickly clicking the door closed just as the flapping of wings could be heard coming closer.

Holding his breath and hoping the crow hadn't seen or heard him, Sora waited a few painful seconds, listening to the bird flap down the hallway, completely passing the room he was in.

That had been a little too close...

I should probably stay in here for a little while, just in case it comes back...

Sora sighed, moving away from the door and turning around to see just where he was.

His first impression was books. Lots of them... and a large, fine desk. The place looked like a wild animal had been set loose in there—papers scattered everywhere, books thrown off shelves, a large chair overturned... a few paintings torn or knocked completely off the wall.

Huh.

Sora curiously picked up a few papers off the ground, skimming over them with a confused frown.

One of them was completely filled with sketchy graphs that he didn't understand, and the other few were filled with equations and technical terms he really didn't even want to understand. He dropped them and moved on.

At first he considered looking in the large desk, but...

A large pile of parchment caught his eye. It was in the corner of the room by the largest bookshelf... many yellow pages stained with red and black ink. The rest of the room had papers littered everywhere, but... there was a pile here. Someone had deliberately made this pile.

Unable to resist digging through them, Sora approached the bookshelf, his last pair of shoes (he was beginning to regret destroying all his other clothes) brushing against a few crumpled pages. He knelt down and began sorting through them, discarding what he didn't want to bother trying to decipher—which was basically most of it.

And then there it was.

As Sora's fingers slowly peeled back the yellowed, ink-stained sheets of parchment, he uncovered the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in this dreary place.

Amber eyes seemed to stare through him from their frozen place in the painting, and with a ticklish feeling in his gut, he recognized them immediately. He'd know those eyes anywhere.

Though the face in the portrait was slightly older and more regal, and the pearl-white hair was combed back, Sora knew. And though the painting must have been buried there for long years, covered in layers of old writings, its colors still shone like new, its gold frame still perfectly polished; years it had been buried, but it looked so much like an older version of that demon.

With awe-filled eyes and a soft gasp, Sora propped the frame against the bookshelf so he could crawl closer to it. Carefully he passed a hovering hand over the flawless work of art, not daring to touch it and spoil its perfection... He just wanted to see.

"Yami..."

He breathed the name out without realizing it, too fascinated by this wondrous discovery to pay much attention to anything else.

So many questions were running through his head now, too many that didn't make sense, yet they did somehow.

The man in the painting... with his finely arched eyebrows and hands delicately folded in front of him... He was royalty. The deep reds and golden yellows of his intricately-designed jacket, the glinting rings on his slim fingers... Even his expression—haughty, but still respectful and kind—spoke of refinement and an austere, noble life.

Except...

Sora frowned, tracing his fingers up the frame as he inspected the details of the portrait.

Something was wrong about it. Something didn't fit quite right...

Ah.

That's it.

The portrait of the man had captured everything it could have perfectly—from that perfectly-combed long white hair and his smooth dark skin—so Sora was sure the artist had been of the highest talent. However, it was obvious he had painted it to reflect what was there, not what was missing, and that was what was wrong with the painting.

There was no happiness in the man's eyes, no quirk of a smile on his lips, no amusement written on that fine face.

No emotion. Not Yami.

And somehow Sora knew this man wasn't wearing a mask.

This man had hated his wealth, his power... his life. That was why this portrait had been hidden away, not displayed in a magnificent hall for all to see, for its colors to fade and its frame to tarnish and its surface to coat with dust. If it had been displayed at all, it couldn't have been for long.

It looked so much like him, this portrait...

There had to be a connection.

Slowly Sora knelt closer, fingers running over the finely-chiseled nameplate of gold.

"Once I refused to live my life following orders," Sora read, squinting to see the tiny cursive print. "But now I am guilty of giving them, and I cannot escape. Let my rule be remembered as a peaceful one at least, for I am aiming for something far greater, and when the time comes, I fear they all will have forgotten me." Running his finger over the name, Sora finished, "Lord Ansem, Honored Ruler of Hollow Bastion."

He was just leaning back when he heard the soft, sad chuckle behind him.

Sora spun around, almost falling over as he did so, his face clearly written with guilt and a level of fear of being caught snooping around.

"And they did," Yami said quietly as he stepped further into the room, his mouth fit with a frown as he regarded the portrait behind Sora.

"They did what?" Sora asked, cautiously edging away from the pristine memoir of a man who looked too much like Yami to be a coincidence. Those amber eyes met Sora's blue, and the boy felt himself shrink back, a painful shiver coursing through him.

"They forgot him," Yami replied simply.

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Riku.... Sora...."

caw....

caw...!

"You've forgotten about me."

For a moment Riku thought he could feel the brush of warm ocean air against his cheeks, but when he smiled and turned towards the breeze, it became something else entirely.

"Riku..."

He cracked his tired eyes open, finding a painfully familiar face returning his smile.

"Sora..."

The warm hand brushed his cheek again, thumb running a little roughly over his lips.

Such a shame it was only a dream.

Then again, considering how his dreams usually ended up... maybe it was best that this was a dream after all.

Riku tried squinting to see what was past Sora, but all he really saw were shadows... He couldn't determine where this new dream setting was—gone were the scaffolds of the rainy city, the rundown cathedral, the rocky cliffs, and the warm bed that had been present in his previous dreams.

He tried a different approach, curious as to which Sora had come to torture him today.

With an encouraging smile up at Sora, Riku slid his hands up the boy leaning over him, feeling the smooth skin of his naked back and—

No wings.

So this wasn't the dark-winged Sora...

...now that he thought about it... he hadn't really had one of these realistic dreams in a long time. Either something bad was going to happen in real life, or...

Maybe something was wrong with Sora.

"It's funny..."

Riku suddenly shivered as Sora's lips vibrated against his sensitive neck, easing him down into the soft darkness they were laying in. He felt it pulling gently at him, enveloping his body ever-so-slightly without trying to drag him under. It was like... a pool of shadows, firm yet liquid at the same time, so soft and yielding, yet strong enough to hold them afloat.

"What's funny...?" Riku asked quietly, threading his fingers in Sora's hair and pulling him closer, seeking some more of that warmth he missed...

Because after all, even if it was just a dream... it was still Sora.

"It's funny..." Sora repeated in a dark whisper, nose brushing against his jaw. He faintly exhaled, his breath a welcomed caress against Riku's skin. His warm hands trailed downward across Riku's bare skin, cupping his hips and pulling him a little closer.

Their bodies sank a little further, the darkness inching over Riku's nude body.

Blue eyes smiled secretively.

"It's funny how trusting you are."

Riku felt Sora's hands slip into the inky pool around them, his smaller body pressing downward as his arms came up from under Riku, curling around his waist.

Trapped.

As he slowly sank a little deeper, the darkness around them began to transform, shifting and hardening....

Long, gnarled fingers rose out of the sea of black ink, drawing upward, forming familiar skinny arms and torsos as they climbed out of the black. Tentacle-like wisps of shadow snaked around him, holding him helplessly in place as Sora-like heartless swarmed atop the dark pool, eagerly wading closer to him. Amongst all the black forms and yellow eyes, only the body atop Riku's remained constant, blue eyes unfazed by the danger surrounding them.

It was just a dream, but...

The painful constriction of the tendrils, the aching cold of the darkness all felt too real. Sora's warm body on his, that happy little smile...

Painful.

Riku couldn't help feeling the sharp dread of what was undoubtedly going to come.

Just let me wake up...

He didn't even fight the dark vines squirming, exploring his body, or the heartless Soras fingering their way between him and the cruel apparition of his real Sora.

It's just a dream...

Darkness sucked at his silver hair, tendrils pushed at his skin, making him gasp—but then the dark vines thrust into his mouth, choking, invading...

Just... a dream...

"Gck—!"

He gave a startled choke, green eyes wide with pain.

Sora smiled above him.

"Nngh...!"

Hurts...

This time... Riku did not wake up from his nightmare.

-o-o-o-o-o-

When morning came, the boy was still dreaming, squirming uneasily in his sleep and audibly crying. Later on, when they were gone from the coliseum, when Leon asked him what he had been dreaming, and Riku refused to answer, Riku learned it had taken the man several minutes to shake him awake.

Something... wanted to keep him there.

Riku was hardly coherent when he finally woke up, quivering and whimpering from aftershocks of the nightmare, eyes dark with fear as Leon held him, calmed him... Even though silent minutes passed since he had been forced awake, the feeling of the darkness on him, in him... never went away.

"Riku, it's okay... It was just a dream."

Leon's deep voice warmed him inside, chasing away some of the shadows surrounding his heart.

"I-I know..." he rasped quietly, forcing himself back to reality. "A dream..."

He curled his fingers in Leon's shaggy hair, surprised when cold wetness coated his hands. Sniffling, Riku slowly drew away from Leon, feeling his discomfort sink away as he remembered just where he was and what had happened yesterday.

That dream... He wouldn't forget it... ever... or its effects... but in order to overcome it, Riku needed to focus on other things.

"Your hair..." he muttered, glancing at the older man with misty eyes. "It's wet..." He paused, his mind clearing just a little more as he stared at the brunette. "And you're shirtless..."

Leon nodded slightly, ruffling Riku's silver hair as he drew away. "Took a bath just before I came here to get you."

Riku frowned, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

Something was different... about Leon.

"What happened last night?" he asked curiously.

When Leon looked away and shifted a little, Riku's suspicions grew—and then Cloud and Sephiroth chose that moment to show up, crowding into the tent with strangely happy Good Mornings.

They were freshly bathed too, and had brought in the rest of Leon's clothes.

Glancing between the three men, Riku frowned, noticing there was a complete lack of adversity between them now. Odd.

"Riku, is something wrong?" Cloud asked, leaning toward him to check his forehead, much like Leon had the night before. "You're clammy... and feverish."

"He had a nightmare," Leon explained shortly. "I just managed to wake him up."

Sephiroth and Leon suddenly exchanged sharp, meaningful glances. When the brunette turned his head, Riku saw a peculiar look of satisfaction on his face. And...

Nooo....

That couldn't be a blush.

Could it?

"......" Riku glanced between them, and then back at Cloud, deciding to try his earlier question again. "What happened last night? Did you guys figure things out?"

A deeply amused smirk crossed Sephiroth's face as he slowly turned his eyes away from Leon to glance at Riku. "A little too well, perhaps," he commented.

Oh.

Riku blinked, suddenly flushing a little as well.

"Oh­..." he breathed, scratching at his head in embarrassment. "So what's going to happen?"

Three heads turned as Sephiroth rose back to his feet and folded his wing behind him. "I'm going back," he said, voice guarded but... accepting.

Riku's eyes widened in surprise, especially because it didn't seem like Leon or Cloud was going to stop him. They must have already talked this over last night. "But why...?" he asked, feeling a heavy sadness welling inside of him. He really didn't want Sephiroth to leave, especially after yesterday's events...

"I have to," Sephiroth replied easily. "My master's power is what's keeping me here. It's already been too long..." He paused, green eyes hardening with regret. "I need to go back. I belong in the world of darkness, unlike Cloud who has the freedom to choose now."

That's right... Cloud did have the freedom to choose now. And Sephiroth was all alone... He was going back to the darkness, with just Id for company.

"Seph..." he murmured, giving him a deep look. "That's..."

But Sephiroth gave a dry chuckle, reaching a hand out to smooth Riku's hair. "I'd say goodbye, but I will be coming back," he assured. "Remember that."

And with that, he turned away, giving both Cloud and Leon soft kisses before he left the tent, shooting Riku one last knowing look before he disappeared. Confused, Riku glanced at Leon for explanation, but the man was already getting to his feet as well, his face set with a heavy frown.

"Come on, Cloud," he said. "He'll be back before you know it."

The blonde nodded, giving a wistful sigh. "I know."

Riku also sighed, more than a little frustrated from his nightmare and being left out of the trio's secrets. "What now?" he asked a little impatiently, forming an almost petulant look through his exhaustion.

"We continue on with the next world," Leon said as he picked up his shirt from where Cloud had set it down earlier when he and Sephiroth had come in.

"What about the tournament?" Riku asked, suddenly surprised. Wasn't that why they had come here in the first place?

Leon slipped the shirt over his head and pulled it down over his tight abs, Riku catching a glimpse of more than one tiny bruise—what the?! Were those...?

"We already went to Phil, but he said the tournament was still full," Leon grumbled. "Anyway, you're not in the best health after this morning, Riku... We'll have to stop by Traverse Town for a good night's sleep."

Cloud suddenly smirked and Riku gave him an odd look. "What's so funny?"

"Leon doesn't want to admit he needs the rest too," the blonde said, and Leon shot him a warning glare. "But he's right, either way. We should get going now."

As the three of them began preparing to leave—Leon getting dressed fully, Cloud gathering up the sheets and towels, and Riku helping him—Riku could sense an almost sad air around them. Leon was no doubt disappointed about the tournament, and Cloud was upset about Sephiroth leaving... not to mention Riku was still indescribably disturbed about his earlier dream...

It was probably a good thing they were returning to Traverse Town, even if it was just for a little while.

But then... Even if so much had happened to them in one day, it seemed a little pathetic that they were already returning home.

Home...

Riku shivered.

They took down the tent in silence, watching other warriors waking up and starting their day. There was an excited buzz of talk in the air, the people no doubt eager for the tournament to start. Leon looked even more sullen because of it.

Raking a hand through his wet hair, the man sighed, giving an almost inaudible curse as he glanced wistfully over at the lobby. "Where is that brat Yami when we need him..."

At first that comment confused Riku, but then he remembered their last tournament and how it had probably been Yami who had made the heartless disappear, opening up a spot for him and Sora to fight. But now Yami wasn't here....

Riku felt a curious pang of regret inside, suddenly realizing, remembering that Yami really wasn't coming back. He really wasn't going to help them anymore...

...what was he doing now?

"Who knows," Cloud replied off-handedly to Leon's question, giving his wing a tired stretch.

Somehow that seemed so wrong.

They—Cloud and Leon and everyone else—they really didn't understand Yami, did they? Then again, neither did Riku, but...

He suddenly recalled what Sephiroth had said to him about Leon.

Just like you did not understand my story, you probably do not understand his. None of us do.

So... If they had misunderstood Sephiroth and Leon so much, who's to say they weren't misunderstanding Yami as well?

That was the thought that stayed with him all the way back to Traverse Town.

-o-o-o-o-o-


Now that was hell to write. Fun, but hell... I hope it wasn't too long for anyone. I just had to get it all done, and I refused to write a fourth part. Anywho... YAY! It's finished! Now I can get started on Chapter 19! I think I can get that one done in only two parts... -.-; Oh, and I disclaim the three Kare Kano-ish quotes that were in there. I draw a lot of romantic inspiration from that manga.

Holy shit, 840 reviews!! Really, I'm just so so so thankful for all of your feedback and support! It means so much to me!!! T-T Many thanks to the girls of "the machination" for their excellent inspiration and reassurances (which is our co-write account, if you haven't noticed it yet), and of course thanks to Lane for putting up with my late-night callings XD

Note: I will be working on some awesome co-writes under the account "the machination" with some well-known KH writers. The link is in my profile.

Another Note: Like what you just read? Please join my yahoo group where you get news on chapter progress, contests, and more!