When I got back to the room, it was empty.
"Dimitri?" I called. There was no answer. I walked into the bedroom, and could hear the shower running. I opened the door, to walk in, but found him on the bathroom floor, sobbing into his knee's.
"Dimitri." I whispered. I got down on my knee's beside him, and pulled him against me. "Shhh. It's okay." He shook his head, as another sob rocked hard through his body. He quaked against me, causing me to shudder as well. "Hey, look at me?" I said. I pushed his knee's out and straddled his legs. I pulled his hands from his face, and met his gaze. I was surprised I'd been able to keep strong this long. I hadn't cried since I left Adrian. "Everything is going to be okay. I promise."
"How can you promise me that? Our child is dead." He said, laying his hands on my stomach as Adrian had.
"We still have Bailey, Dimitri. We can't forget about her, because she's over there. She still needs us. We lost one… yes, but this should make us realize how much we have with Bailey. How precious her life is, and how quickly it can be taken away." I whispered.
"I just… I wanted to be a real father to this one. I wanted to be around to watch it grow inside of you, to be there when it was born, to be here through everything. I didn't get that with Bailey. I wanted it. I wanted it bad." He said, sobbing again. I shook my head.
"Listen to me, you are a real father to Bailey. She knows you weren't here for three years of her life, but when have you ever heard her hold that against you. You are her father, and she loves you more than anything in this world, the same way I do. Whether you were here for all that or not is irrelevant. She loves you. I love you. You love her. You are her father. Her only father." I told him. He just stared at me, tears still steadily streaming down his face.
"I know, its just-" I shook my head.
"No. You've got to stop this." I said, wiping the tears off his face.
"How did you pull yourself together so well?" He asked.
"I don't know. I guess the pain was so bad, it just sort of numbed out. It'll be back soon." I said. "Then, you'll be taking care of me, crying on the bathroom floor." I winked at him, causing him to crack me a smile.
"I just can't believe it's gone. We didn't even know." He said, letting his hand slip under my shirt. He ran his hands lightly over my stomach, causing goosebumps to rise.
"I know, but you said whatever was wrong, we could handle it. We're not handling it sitting on the bathroom floor crying." I said. He nodded.
"I know. It's just… it's hard." He whispered, wiping the few tears that had escaped.
"I know that. I know. I can't help feel like it's my fault. How could I have not known I was pregnant? If I would have known, I wouldn't have went outside, I wouldn't have had a problem with you guys charming a ring for me, I wouldn't have been such a bitch to Adrian, and none of this would have every happened. My baby… our baby would still be alive." I said. He shook his head, and took my face in his hands.
"It isn't your fault."
"I wish it was. I'd like to have someone to blame." I whispered. He shook his head.
"No. Maybe… maybe it just wasn't meant to be this time." He tried.
"That doesn't make it any better." I said. He nodded.
"Nothing either of us can say does."
"I know that." I whispered.
"What do you think it was?" He asked.
"Boy." I answered, simply.
"Why?"
"I just have a feeling, it was a boy." I whispered, laying my hand over his, on his stomach. "He would have looked just like you." Dimitri looked down, hiding his face from me again.
"I know." He whispered.
"I think we need to go visit Bailey." I murmured. He nodded.
"Are you going to tell her about this?"
"I have to. I'm not going to lie to her." I whispered. He just looked down.
"So, you get up, and get yourself a shower. I'm going to go-" He cut me off.
"Please, don't leave." He begged. "I.. I don't really think I should be alone right now." I smiled, and nodded.
"You want me to sit here while you take a shower?" I asked. He shook his head.
"No. I want you to join me, so I don't have to go a second without your face." He said. I smiled.
"Fine." I said. I stood up, and offered him a hand. He took it, as I helped him up. He pulled his shirt off over his head, and undressed. As I pulled my t-shirt off, I felt his eyes on me, my stomach no doubt.
"You should stop looking at it. It makes me uncomfortable."
"It looks so horrible though." He said.
"Thanks." I muttered. He smiled, slightly.
"Sorry." I nodded.
"It does look pretty disgusting. I can't lie." I said, touching my stomach lightly. He nodded. I stripped the rest of the way down, and followed him into the shower. I loved all over him, knowing that he needed it. He always kept so together for me, but he couldn't do it anymore. I felt like this wasn't just pain over the loss of our child. It was also all the other times in our life, he's wanted to break down, but didn't. He stayed strong for me. This time, it was my turn to be strong for him. I had to take care of him, keep him safe, and let him know that no matter what happened, I was here for him. He'd done that so many times for me, regardless of the circumstances, it was my turn to be here for him. He helped me scrub all the dried blood off me, which was a completely pain in the ass. After I washed my hair, we both got out, and wrapped towels around us. I wiped the fog off the mirror, and gazed into it. I knew that my strong façade was holding, but if only you could see the look in my eyes. There was nothing strong about it. It said 'I'm a complete and total wreck, and there's only going to be so much I can handle before I explode.' It wasn't a good thing. Dimitri wrapped his arms around my waist and gazed into the mirror.
"You okay?" He asked. I nodded, and turned to him, pressing a kiss to his lips. When I pulled away, I smiled slightly, hoping it looked genuine. He didn't seem to be fooled, but he didn't say anything. I met his gaze.
"I love you." I whispered, sincerity dripping off my words.
"I love you too." We both got dressed, and walked back out into the living room, to find Lissa, Christian, and Viktoria. Lissa and Viktoria had tears streaming down their faces. Great. They knew. Viktoria's eyes were on her brother.
"Dimka, I'm so sorry." She said. I looked at him to see one lone tear run down his cheek. She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him. Hold it together, Rose. You can do it. I told myself. Lissa met my gaze, and shook her head, tears steadily pouring from her eyes.
"Rose, I'm so sorry. I can't believe-" She started, but I shook my head. That did it. The tears started flooding down my face. She latched onto me, wrapping her arms around me. I buried my face into her collar bone, and sobbed. When I was finally able to breathe again, I pulled away. Christian was looking at me now.
"Rose, I'm so sorry." He said. He stepped forward, and pulled me into a hug. I let him hold me for a second, before pulling away. Lissa had made her way to hug a still hysterical Dimitri.
"It's okay, fireboy. We'll get through it." I whispered. He moved a piece of hair out of my face, and smiled.
"You know Lissa and I are here for you guys, always." He said. I nodded.
"I know that, and thank you." I murmured. He nodded. I turned to go back to Dimitri when Viktoria almost tackled me.
"Roza, I'm so sorry." She cried. I was a Hathaway. I wasn't ever one for sympathy, but it felt nice to know that so many people cared. I mean, I knew they cared, but.. It felt good having them here. She released me, and I moved to take Dimitri's hand.
"Where's Adrian?" I asked.
"Sleeping. I went and healed his injuries as he told me what happened." She sniffed. I nodded. Instinctively, my hands laid over my stomach, as if there were still a baby inside of me.
"Is he okay?" I asked.
"He is now." I nodded.
"Good." I said, looking down at the floor. I was remembering just a few hours ago the horrid things I'd said to him. It made me feel like I needed to apologize again, even though I already had.
"You guys, I know a lot is happened, and you want to hang out, but Rose is recovering from a strigoi attack. She needs to sleep." Dimitri said. I knew it wasn't just me he was worried about. He wasn't good around people in bad situations. He wanted to be alone.. Well, he wanted us to be alone.
"I can heal you." Liss offered, looking at me. I shook my head.
"The darkness could be bad for the baby. I don't want you to end up like me." I said, hands still on my stomach. She stared at me for a second, before nodding. Christian met my gaze for a second.
"She's right. We should go. She looks tired. We'll come back tomorrow." He said. Viktoria and Lissa nodded, and started towards the door. I looked at Christian and smiled. I mouthed a thank you, and he nodded once before following Liss and Viktoria out. I turned to Dimitri and wiped the tears away that lingered on his face. He smiled slightly, one of the fakest smiles I'd ever seen. He took my hand and pulled me into the bedroom, and into our bed. He pulled me into his arms, and kissed my forehead.
"I love you." I murmured, meeting his eyes.
"You're saying that an awful lot, why?" He asked, as if I was going to do something stupid.
"I just.. I want you to know how much I really love you. From today's events, I can see how easily someone you love can be taken away from you, and I love you more than anything. I just want you to know that." He nodded.
"I'm not going anywhere, as long as I can help it." He whispered. I nodded.
"I know, but… it scares me to think of me losing you, or Bailey."
"Neither of us are going anywhere." He murmured.
"God, I hope not." I whispered.
"We're not."
"I've realized now though, that I take so much for granted. Lissa, Adrian, even though he's a pain in my ass, you, Bailey, Viktoria, all of them. To think that they can be taken for me like that." I said, snapping my fingers. "I'm going to live my life, our life to the fullest, because it's not just me that could die, it's the people I love too. I could lose them, and I don't know how I'd handle that." By the time I finished, I was shaking. I was starting to get emotional again. Darkness was rearing its head. Dimitri rolled out of the bed, and grabbed the box with the sapphire necklace in it. He pulled me up to sit, and clasped it around my neck.
"You're going to be needing it." He murmured. I nodded.
"I know. Thank you. It's beautiful." I said, touching the stone on my neck. He nodded, and kissed me.
"Just like you." He said. He laid back down, pulling me into his arms, and holding me. I fell asleep with the feel of his lips on my forehead.
