Chapter 28 – Starting to Live

After the Cullens' departure, life went back to normal. To keep myself distracted from missing them, I focused on my responsibilities as member of the Guard, which included bringing in humans with Heidi and patrolling the city. Helena was still in Volterra and still trying to get Felix. Even after he told her they would never be together.

She was really trying my patience. Felix was still courteous with her, but it was starting to wear on him. To make things easier in telling us apart, I wore the necklace Felix took from Marsha at all times. Despite her, Felix saw I was saddened by the Cullens departure. From time to time, I would just be sitting in silence, thinking to myself, forgetting where I was.

Felix hated seeing me like this. It was what I was doing one afternoon. While thinking to myself, a thudding heart was coming towards the room. It was a bit frantic, but still hypnotic. The heart was right behind my door, "She's just in there. She's pretty sad that her friend's leaving."

The sun shone through the window. I watched the dancing rainbows on the floor. There was a deep throaty chuckle, "Don't worry," a voice brought me out of my train of thought, "I can distract your sister." The thrumming sound was getting closer and it was making me thirsty.

The scent of coffee beans came into the room as a medium height, tan-skinned man came into the room. My feet moved to the bedroom door, as the lush sound was very close. Clear blue eyes fell on me as I peeked into the room. It was a human and he was smiling at me. Felix was right behind him, "Bell, this is Ric. I told him all about you."

Felix smiled as I timidly poked my head completely out of the room. Ric was good looking. The smell of his blood promised a delicious flavor. "Felix, what's going on?" He smiled, patting the human's shoulder, "Ric wanted to join you for… lunch. He was dying to meet you." I smiled at the double meaning in his words.

Playing up my role, I blinked sheepishly, casting my eyes down, "I don't know." My foot stepped out into the common room, trailing my fingers along the back of the couch, "Felix, you know I'm not in the mood to socialize." I sat on the couch, tempting him to join me.

Ric's pulse quickened as he looked at me. He appraised the silky silver blouse that clung to my chest, smiling confidently, "Your brother told me about your best friend's leaving." He sat on the couch with me, confidence thrumming through him. He looked back at Felix, who was disappearing out the door. "Your brother is quite protective of you."

Ric's scent was wonderful, almost irresistible. It has been a week since a group was brought in. I smiled at him, showing my sharp teeth, "That's a big brother for you. It's just been the two of us for a while." Ric leaned closer to me, his warm fingers touching the back of my hand, "You're cold." I leaned even closer to him, my lips barely grazing his ear, "You have no idea." Ric turned his head, so his lips brushed my neck, "I could warm you up."

The warmth of his body was tightening my muscles. I was ready to strike, with the venom welling in anticipation, "I'd really like that." His lips pressed into my neck, "Hmm, what are you wearing? It's delicious." Ric kissed my skin again. My lips pulled back, letting my teeth sunk into his. His body jolted as my arms locked around him. Ric fought against me, trying to get away, but it was pointless. His heart faltered until it stopped. I pulled at the last drops of blood, letting the body fall onto the floor.

My lips smacked as I looked at the corpse on the floor, "Thanks, so were you." Felix came into the room and his fingers touched my lips, "You missed a spot." Using his thumb, he brushed away the drop of blood on my lip, then put it to his own mouth. I looked up slowly, "You're so sweet." He leaned down to kiss me and my arms wound around his neck. Bree came into the room, catching us in our close embrace. "Don't mind me. Just getting rid of the body."

She lifted the lifeless corpse and faked a groan, "You couldn't share?" I smiled at her, "Sorry. I wish I kept his heart beating. He really was delicious." I could feel the blood flowing through my veins, strengthening my body. It was pooling into my eyes, pushing away the slight dullness that grows with thirst. Bree flung the body over her shoulder, "Yes, a living heart does produce more blood than a still one."

Everyone watches as Alec and Felix dispensed justice to another traitor. Did these people not understand that we would eventually found out what they're doing and punish them for it? Well, humans did the same thing, but weren't vampires supposed to be smarter? Did they honestly think they were too smart to get caught?

Helena averted her eyes as the body was broken into pieces. She looked up at me and I stared straight ahead. I told myself that I had to get used to seeing this, so that it wouldn't bother me. Felix looked at me, seeing if I was all right. I nodded to him, showing that it didn't faze me.

He came over to me and held my waist. We looked into each other's eyes and knew what the other wanted, each other. Helena turned away and left the antechamber. She was growing wary of watching our kind being torn apart. And seeing me and Felix together wasn't tolerable for her either. She muttered to herself as she left, "I can't stomach this much longer." Maybe she would leave soon.

Helena tried, but not very much, to be nice to me. She still was snide and sarcastic, which was no surprise. I simply reacted the same way. "Helena," this was me trying, "I'm going to round up some humans with Heidi. Would you like to join us?" Her shoulders rolled before she looked at me. She turned and smiled, "As tempting as it would be to watch you be used as bait, I'm going to have to decline."

Helena left the tower when we fed. She hated the sounds of the humans' screams. As a favor, Santiago drained one human's blood into bottles for Helena. She was grateful for that. She never hunted a human one day in her immortal life.

She admitted that she stole donated bloods from hospitals and blood banks in the past. From time to time, she posed as a nurse to replenish her supplies. Her story gave me an idea. Also, what Bree said about a beating heart only fueled this thought. Only Aro knew about the idea and he helped me start it.

"There are many homeless humans. They donate their blood and we offer them shelter. It's not unheard of. Humans do it to supply hospitals with donated blood." That was the idea I discussed with Aro. He looked at me for a moment, "Reciprocity." He was silent for a moment, "A human does produce a great deal of blood. So much more than a one-time feeding." Aro went to stand by a window that looked over the courtyard in from of the tower.

"Keep their hearts beating to produce more blood?" Moving to stand with him, I looked at the people below, "It'll take away the need to dispose of bodies. To lure them here for a one-time feeding." Aro sighed, putting his arm around my shoulders, "I think it's an enterprising idea. I want you to move forward with this project."

Aro discussed the idea with his brothers and they approved. Aro introduced me to Karolyn. She was one of his followers that worked in the Italian government, out of an office based in Volterra. Karolyn was pleased to help me, "It is wonderful, Bella." Karolyn was my height, with dull red hair. Her eyes were a strange color of purple. She wore blue contact lenses over her crimson eyes. She found a building that would house everything.

This project kept me very busy. From purchasing the supplies I would need, keeping the humans away and construction, my days weren't mine. Felix was overjoyed though, "Where did you get this idea?" His hands held me to his bare chest. The two of us floated in the pool, enjoying our time alone. "Honestly, Helena. That and a movie about vampires I saw a few years ago." "Hmm," he responded as kisses trailed down my neck. My skin began to burn from his touch.

Felix pulled me into this body, "What else did the movie say?" Felix locked his lips on mine, not allowing me to answer. My damp fingers trailed down his chest, beneath the surface of the water. He inhaled a sharp breath from my contact. "Same thing Aro and Bree said. A living, beating heart produces more blood than a simple feeding."

Felix looked at me, brushing away a bead of water off my back. "It's a good idea, but it does put Heidi out of a job." I smiled, pulling myself closer to him, "Not really, she's the one getting the humans to come to the homeless shelter." Felix chuckled, disturbing the stillness of the water surface. My legs locked around his waist as he pulled us underwater.

Though Felix originally wanted the two of us to leave Volterra, I convinced him to stay a little while. This was our home, our first home together. We would have plenty time to be alone. Besides, I knew he loved being an enforcer in the Guard.

It was funny how I've completely changed in this life. As a human, I was shy, clumsy and insecure. Now, I was bold, lithe and confident. As a vampire, I fed on humans, lured them into my traps and enjoyed it. As a woman, I was confident in my beauty and in the love I shared with my husband.

Now, I was an owner of a homeless shelter to harvest human blood for my coven. Before they settled in their home, Alice was calling me. She informed me of every detail of their travels. When I told her about it, she actually liked the project. She thought it was more humane than simply killing people.

Helena liked this idea too, mainly because I was away from the tower and Felix all day. "Don't worry, Bella. I'll keep Felix entertained," she sang as I descended in the elevator. Jealousy pulsed through me that I had to control. Felix was distancing himself from Helena, but she still tried. While driving to the homeless shelter, I thought about the arguments Felix and I had before.

He was upset that I was spending time with Edward. "Felix, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. Edward and I are just friends. That's it!" The argument continued until he said the worst thing. "I said enough is enough. I won't lose you to Edward, not again." My head jerked back, "Again?" my eyes blinked robotically, "You never lost me to Edward."

In that moment, I knew that Felix forgot who I was. He recovered and tried to apologize. "Bella, please." He tried to take my hand, but I jerked it away and walked out of the room. Much like I had to do then, I had to keep my jealousy and anger in control. I usually wasn't a jealous person.

Helena made me feel this way when she and Felix talked about their human years, laughing at their memories. Then I felt this when she held Edward's arm as they walked together. Helena was just trying to push my buttons. Edward was gone and now, so her eyes were back on Felix. Ugh, Felix loves me, I know that! And, most importantly, she knew that!

The images of Felix and Helena in an intimate embrace bombarded my mind. This jealousy was tainting my mind to the point that my heart was breaking. The thought of Felix and Helena rekindling their romance was painful. My arm wrapped around my torso, holding myself together. If Felix had a physical relationship with Helena, I couldn't be too mad.

I did the same thing. If they didn't, Felix would be a far better person than me. He already was. I gave into Edward's advances, every time. My head shook violently, trying to dispel these thoughts. I did this to myself. This was part of my punishment. To endure these thoughts of 'what if's.'