WAAAGH Ranma!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½™ or Warhammer Fantasy Battle™ in any way, shape or form. Fan-art based on this series –and suggestion on how to represent Ranma and the Fikskulls in games of Warhammer- would be greatly appreciated.

Author's Notes: well, originally I wasn't going to do the fight scene that led on from the end of last chapter, but your reviews convinced me to give it a shot. Consider this a second opportunity to vote for where you want me to take Ranma & co. By the way, Chibi-Reaper; did you get that PM I sent you? If so, please respond; I was thinking of making that scenario you suggested the focus of the next chapter(s). Also, Booyah; the Squig Riders are riding Cave Squigs, and Squee's Squig is a unique mutant Squig- it looks so different to them that Ranma didn't think that they were the same species. Oh, and Amwood? I'd like you to post those jokes you mentioned in your last review to this story- I might find a use for them. And I can't wait to see your stats!

Anyway, I'd like to point out that I'm considering resuming working on "Me and My Infernal Shadow" and posting it roughly co-terminus with this story. I'd like to point out that, in both that story and this one, I welcome external ideas (by review, pm or email) on scenarios to use as the basis for chapters. I'm also thinking about resuming work on AHFWH in much the same manner- which means that at least one of the stories should be updated per week.

Speaking of stories, I'm considering writing a D&D story (custom-setting of my own design) but there's a slight problem; I was intending to go for the standard six members adventuring party, but I can only think of one- a Male Human Warlock with a Night Hag mother. Anyone interested in giving me a hand putting this story together?

Chapter 28: Bringing Down the House

Even their newfound ally was caught off balance by the speed and ferocity with which Ranma and his warband attacked, and by the time the circus-dwellers recovered over a dozen men lay dead or dying upon the sawdust.

"Capture them!" shouted the Ringmaster, forcing his way backwards as the guards swarmed forward in a futile attempt to contain the sextet, their actions hiding those of the Ringmaster. Ranma easily glided around blows, or simply let them glance off his armour, before countering with his usual array of punches, kicks and staff-blows. Beside him, Forna and Urbari teamed their axe-blows so that their opponents had to avoid near-simultaneous high and low blow. Those who failed were either decapitated or had their knees hacked off and then were decapitated. Squee was literally fuming with indignation though; he couldn't use his explosives in this enclosed area (not because he'd hurt himself –the whole Fire Kobold immunity to flames thing– but because his companions didn't share his immunity and Squee was naturally averse to having his organs squeezed out through his mouth) but none of the guards were paying any attention to him anyway. To the extent that even when he deliberately dropped his guard, none of them would even pay him a single glance.

Doctor Overntoppen was the only one of the group not fighting, partially because of the fact he was stunned by the fighting skill demonstrated and mostly because he was frantically reloading his brace of pistols- one of the faults with blackpowder weapons was that they only carried a single shot and needed to be reloaded manually afterwards. In fact, he was so distracted that he failed to register the guard sneaking up behind him with a cosh until the man walloped him over the back of the head with it. To the guard's surprise, the good doctor apparently wasn't even fazed, instead spinning around to confront him. A second blow smashed squarely into the doctor's face, resulting in nothing more than a faint trickle of blood oozing from his left nostril. The guard drew his weapon back for a third strike, but by that time Doctor Overntoppen had finished reloading a pistol- which meant that the guard's brains were promptly spattered across the ground.

"Yer a pretty tough guy." Ranma grunted in a distracted tone before slamming his elbow into a rear-flanker's throat and dispatching the two guards at his front with a scissors-kick. Doctor Overntoppen quirked an eyebrow but didn't say anything as he drew the sword from his hip and used it to slay the guard menacing him. By now the sextet had inflicted sufficient casualties that the morale of the surviving guards was utterly broken; as one they turned and fled. Neither Ranma nor his comrades bothered to pursue them, though Forna, Urbari and Squee all shouted abuse after them. Unfortunately for the group, as the guards fled they were replaced; at least a dozen of the creepy clowns from outside tumbled into the arena, genuine malevolent grins beneath their painted grimaces. Doctor Overntoppen swallowed nervously.

"Uh oh…"

"So he sent in the clowns? So what? What's your problem?"

"My problem is that those aren't clowns- they're Death Cultists!"

"What're those?"

And that was when one of those oversized carnival mallets, an object that was all-too-familiar to Ranma, came spinning through the air in a blur and ricocheted off the back of Ranma's head. The sudden impact knocked him flat on his front.

"Religious fanatics devoted to the worship of the God of Murder!" Doctor Overntoppen explained, alternatively dodging and using his bullets to deflect a barrage of flaming daggers and acid-cream pies.

"Now ya tell me…" Ranma grunted, heaving himself off the ground and throwing a dirty look at the Death Clowns. Dodging what was either a rainbow-painted shuriken or a razor-sharp lollypop, he launched himself towards the closest Death Clown- a monstrously obese creature, whose girth was evidently mutation-base, given the way that Ranma's arm sunk up to the shoulder in the rolls of flab. It chortled, a deep phlegmatic sound, and then seized Ranma's free arm and swung him over its head, pulling him free as it launched him into the air. With his usual ease, Ranma landed unharmed and battle-ready, as the Death Clown that tried to bury a rusty axe in his head from behind found it when Ranma promptly stuffed the weapon blade-first down its throat. Ranma's allies quickly rallied to their leader's defence, and soon battle was raging once more beneath the Big Top. And that was when the Ringmaster finally reappeared, and with him came both of the mages from the second act, Callus hovering in mid-air, Razgriz standing on a floating disc of metal. Doctor Overntoppen was the first to spot them as he wiped the blood from his eyes, and groaned in dismay.

"Oh great; we almost had a chance…"

"Ain't no place in my horde fer cowards! 'Sides, who's ta say that they won't join us?"

"I hate to tell you this, but I'm perhaps the only slave here; all of the other 'acts' are willing; they're too insane or too monstrous to fit in anywhere else. Those two are Harrigan's personal enforcers!"

"And now you zhall zzzuffer for your treachery!" cackled Callus, his voice buzzing and sizzling like raw voltage as he spoke. He held his hands apart, electrical energy crackling around them before surging forth to meet in the space between, a pulsing orb of raw power that rapidly grew in strength until it exploded outward in a deadly beam. Almost exactly at that moment, a whip-like streamer of blood-crimson flames slashed across Callus' arm, causing him to shout with pain and his spell to vaporise a cluster of Death Clowns rather than Forna and Urbari. He whirled to face the source of the attack; the smirking form of Razgriz, hands wreathed in flaming crimson smoke. As Ranma made the fifth strike with Gitzduffd's Staff, finally managing to punch all the way through the bloated Death Clown's protective layers of blubber and rock-hard bones to impale the ichor-pumping heart beneath, he wondered why Razgriz had done that, followed closely by how it was possible to be obviously smirking when you were wearing a mask-like helmet. Razgriz waved one smoking finger in a mockingly chiding gesture.

"Uh-uh-uh… not on my watch."

"What foul treachery is this? Razgriz! I order you to capture these wretches!"

"Foolish human… my purpose in this wretched little hole is complete… The Lord of Sorcerers has no further designs for this locale, and I have no further use for a mindless worm such as yourself. It is time I sought greener pastures… but before I go, we have a score that has waited too long to be settled, Callus!"

"I'll burn you to azhezzz you zzzpawn of darknezz! I will zhow you who izzz the better wizard!"

A crack of thunder almost deafened those below as Callus suddenly launched a particularly swift and powerful lightning bolt at Razgriz, who just barely managed to deflect it with a meteor of yellow fire before responding with a streamer of ice-blue flames. Callus encased himself in a diamond-shaped cage of electricity, the flames spattering against the voltage with a sound like a giant bug-zapper. It was the Sorcerer's Duel all over again, but even more violent this time.

"Razgriz! Callus! Stop this at once! Do you hear me? I command you to stop! I command you to smite my enemies, not each other! I am the lord of all I survey; I am the embodiment of heaven's wrath! Obey me! Do you hear me? Do you hear me? Obey ME!"

"You are just like Kuno! If yer such a great fighter, then why don'tcha prove it? Fight me, ya lapdog!" Ranma bellowed to make himself heard over the cacophony, finishing off the last of the Death Clowns in his way with a literally heart-crushing palm-strike to the chest. Harrigan howled like a crazed dog, drawing a previously unseen sword from behind his back. It wasn't a katana though, just a Western-style bastard sword, which somewhat defied the Kuno-like image the Ringmaster had projected. He held its hilt with both hands and swung it in Ranma's direction- the Warboss's disdainful smirk at such an amateurish display of premature striking giving way to stunned surprise as a silvery crescent appeared in the wake of the blade's tip. He just managed to dodge the attack, which conveniently lopped off the head of another Death Clown, and then hurtled forwards hoping to cut off Harrigan's ability to use that attack. Dodging a miniature whirlwind, which reminded Ranma uncomfortably at that little "Speed of Light Elixir" trick of Happosai's, Ranma lunged with Gitzduffd's Staff. Enchanted bone and eldritch steel rang against each other, clashing with such fury and speed that sparks flew in pale imitation of the arcane battle being played out above them.

"So what's all this about 'the wrath of heaven', hmm? Yer the worst fighter I've ever fought!"

"Dog! Vermin! Uncouth barbaric filth! I'll strike the head from your shoulders!"

"Actually, I have fought someone worse than ya, but not by a long shot. Ya really remind me a' him; he was loud-mouthed mudbrain too!"

Harrigan's response was a wordless bellow of sheer fury, his blows losing skill but gaining in sheer strength as his rage stoked him into frenzy. Ranma found himself actually taking a step backwards as a result of the maniac's ferocity. And that was when a flaming boulder suddenly tore through the canvas roof of the tent and smashed into the ground near the main support, exploding like a bomb to send white-hot rock shrapnel and raging embers scything through the air. Needless to say, in a place so stuffed with cloth and rope and straw and oil as a circus tent, fire quickly roared into life. Harrigan forgot all about Ranma and whirled round to the point where the two wizards still, ignorant of the flames now spreading across the roof above their heads. He was practically frothing at the mouth as he shrieked his fury to the uncaring duo.

"You maniac Callus! Look what you've done to my circus!"

"Fergit about yer circus an' worry about yerself!" Ranma snapped as he struck the Ringmaster from behind, almost pitching the self-proclaimed noble onto his face before he caught himself and came back at Ranma with a guttural snarl. As the two resumed their struggle, the sorcerer's simultaneously launched massive pillars of their respective element at each other, lightning and rainbow-hued flamed merging and thrusting against each other in a massive clump that surged first towards Callus, then towards Razgriz. The battle of wills finally went to the Tzeentchian; the globe of arcane power suddenly blasted back at the Celestial Wizard with incredible speed, the deranged master of Heavens Magic unable even to scream as its power engulfed him and he disappeared in an explosion of arcane energy. As the afterglow faded away, Razgriz finally seemed to become aware that the entire Big Top was up in flames now, and in response to its master's unspoken desires the Disk of Tzeentch shot up into the sky, taking him through a hole in the roof and away into the darkness.

Neither Ranma nor Harrigan noticed the outcome of Razgriz and Callus' duel, or the fact that the fire was now so fierce and widespread it had forced Ranma's companions to flee the Big Top, despite their concerns for his safety. And still they fought, darting unconsciously through the flames before engaging each other again. It was in one of these standstills that Ranma heard a distinct sort of creaking noise- and quickly realised that it was a cluster of seats coming down. He instantly backflipped out of its reach, but Harrigan failed to dive clear; while it didn't kill him, it pinned him to the ground. Clawing frantically at the ground in an effort to free himself, he spat at Ranma.

"You will suffer for this! Do you hear me? You will suffer! Suffer! SUFFER!"

This final word trailed off into a scream as the ground suddenly gave way beneath him, pitching Harrigan and the debris into the darkness below. Ranma's confusion at this revelation of a cavern beneath the streets was quickly drowned by his concern at the realisation he was surrounded by fire, which prompted a quick escape before the entire place came down and he was simultaneously burned and crushed to death. A series of super-leaps and he was out of there, racing semi-blindly through the streets of Mordheim to get away from the blaze behind him. As he wondered how to find his companions, the sound of a gunshot suddenly caught his attention. Following his ears, he quickly managed to locate his exhausted, soot-and-blood-smeared fellows, silently creeping into the plaza where they were standing.

"Fire another shot- he may not have heard that one."

"And waste the bullet? I'm sorry, but your leader is probably dead."

"Who's probably dead?" asked Ranma; unable to resist grinning at the way he startled them. But it was hard to say who was more startled when Forna suddenly caught him in a vice-like embrace that probably would have broken his ribs if it weren't for his superhuman endurance. They remained locked like that for maybe a heartbeat, then Forna seemed to realise what she was doing and promptly shoved Ranma away before slamming a rock-like fist on the top of his head.

"Ya zoggin' maniac! Don't never do somefing like dat again, ya hears me!"

"…I never knew ya cared Forna." Ranma found himself teasing in reply. Forna snorted disdainfully.

"I don't- I jus' don't wanna 'splain ta da uvvers what happened ta ya."

"Much as I dislike having to disturb this emotional moment, may I suggest that we vacate this immediate location, post-haste?"

There was a group "huh?" at Doctor Overntoppen's words.

"He means shift yer asses and let'z get outta here." Grumbled Ranma in explanation, hauling himself back to his feet before leading the willing Fikskulls out of Mordheim; they'd all had enough of "civilisation" for a while.

Harrigan groaned at the pain suddenly making its presence felt; it was though his entire body was crushed. He opened his eyes… in utter darkness. As his confusion began to mount, he felt something stirring. It was as though the darkness was… breathing… and then, a voice suddenly spoke, seemingly echoing from the very depths of his soul.

"Welcome, Harrigan… I have been waiting for you…"

Okay, show of hands who thinks I didn't have the faintest clue what I was actually doing here? (raises hand) Anyway, next chapter should begin production… whenever Chibi-Reaper finally replies to my question from the beginning's Author's Notes. Gideon020; despite what it looks like, I actually did go with your suggested fate for Callus; could you possibly give me an idea on how to do his "reappearance"? And that of Harrigan?

On a different topic; does anyone remember that female Blood Dragon Vampire I considered having pursue Ranma? Well, I was thinking to have her start pursing him after the end of the Sylvania arc- if people still want her. Could I get some suggestions for her name and appearance? Some ideas on what her personality is like and/or why she wants Ranma would also be appreciated.

On a final random note; I believe that it's common for authors here on FFN to listen to music whilst writing, in order to inspire them. I've actually been doing so myself, but I'm not entirely sure if Ed Hunter is the right sort of music for these three stories of mine- can anyone suggest any songs that might serve better?