A random parody of the Walking Dead and the reality TV show 'The Real World.' This is purely for humor and enjoyment and not to be taken seriously. Warning: Sexual terms, bad planning and crude humor ahead.

I do not own the 'Walking Dead' or the 'Real World'.

The Holy Trinity

Andrea's confessional "Daryl has been sulking around the house for the past day or so. So Rick, our dear leader, has devised a surprise to show Daryl that he was truly wanted."

Rick has gathered everyone but Daryl in the living room.

He has Michonne on his right and a skeptical Merle on his left.

"You and Merle know what Daryl likes the best, he seemed down so I've come up with the perfect group activity to cheer him up."

"Alright then, what's the plan?" Michonne asks as Rick smiles and says one word.

"Orgy."

"No." Abraham says before Lori pipes up too. "What the hell are you thinking? Carl is too young for that!"

"Carl and Beth aint included! They're just gonna be in charge of the snacks... I don't want naked people handling our food."

"And speaking o' nudes handlin' our meat, where am I in this plan o' yours?" Merle asks.

Rick turns toward the whiteboard as he draws a stick figure and labels it Merle. "You'll be here... Lori..." Rick draws a line with a frown on it's long face and labels it Lori. "You can be here, I don't want anyone getting pocked by accident with Lori's bones, or your bayonet."

"Rick, I'm not doing this... not with some of these people... " Michonne speaks out as Abraham nods in agreement.

"No, no, it's fine, Ford can be here... where's my red marker?" Rick looks around before picking it off of the floor. He draws a big red blob in the corner, then draws green circles on it to symbolize his army pants.

"Why am I all alone?" Abraham asks Rick in confusion.

"Because I said so... I don't wanna see you naked."

"Yeah, like in the shower?"

"I told you, you were imagining thangs."

Michonne rolls her eyes before walking up to the whiteboard and pulling Rick aside.

"You're not really serious about this are you?"

"Fine, what's your plan then?"

"Come on Rick, for once in your life, just think of a back up plan." Michonne urges before he realizes that Daryl wouldn't like an orgy at all, it involves to much sharing.

"You're right Michonne follow me." Rick tells the group that the plan is off before grabbing his whiteboard and markers and telling Michonne to find Daryl and bring him up to her room.

Moments later, Rick props the whiteboard stand in front of Andrea's bed and draws some ideas down on it.

"Alright I'm here, what chu' need?" Daryl plops down on Michonne's bed, as she sits down right beside him, igniting old memories.

"I've come up with a plan, to get you back in the swing of thangs... you, me and Michonne."

"What you mean you, meh and Chonne, we goin' for a run or somethin'?" Daryl asks as Rick draws three stick figures and a square beneath them. The middle one is colored in brown while the other two are left nameless and featureless.

"We gonna have ourselves a threesome, Michonne you take the middle, I'll be on top-"

"Nope." Daryl interrupts before taking the marker from Rick.

"Man you crazy if you think we're gonna do this!"

Rick frowns, thinking that his plan was fool prof.

"You aint no top Rick, not now, not ever-especially over Chonne, you get bottom Rick."

Rick sighs as Michonne is staring at the whiteboard with little to no interest.

"Fine. Then write on the whiteboard your position and we'll work our way from there." Rick hands Daryl the rest of his markers before Daryl squints at the board. He turns back towards his friend and asks "How do you spell po-sit-ion."

"Sound it out." Michonne tries to help Daryl with his spelling, as Rick suddenly reaches underneath the bed, in search for something.

"What are you doing?" Michonne asks as he replies "just checking for Carl."

"I'm not under that bed, I'm under Andrea's." Carl pipes up as Daryl pulls him out and Rick tells him to leave. "Why can't Michonne be on top?" He yells as Rick tells him to get out before closing the door.

"Why we need a plan for this anyways?" Daryl asks Rick who responds by saying, "Cuz I don't want anyone ending up in the wrong hole. I love you Daryl but there's a limit."

Michonne's confessional. "I don't even know why this is happening. When Rick comes up with these plans I mentally... and emotionally check out. You can't use logic when it comes to Rick."

"Hold on, let me get Merle, he's good at planning out these type of things." Daryl says with confidence.

"And how the hell do you know that?" Michonne questions.

"Never mind that... Merle!"

"What you want baby brother?"

"Chonne and I doin' a thresome-"

"So I guess she fixin' for some double Dixon, I finally get a turn wif her. I bet she's a frisky little kitty-"

"Naw, me, Rick and her... we need help planning it."

"For you baby brother, I'll do my best, but don't be surprised if that woman don't like what I got planned."

In the room, Merle erases Rick's stick figures and draws new ones.

"Why's that one in the middle so black?" Rick asks as Merle says "It's Mich-onne's hair!"

"Where's my hair?" Rick asks yet again interrupting Merle's concentration before the redneck lashes out "I aint beeping done yet, I only gots one hand!"

"Nice try Merle, you don't need two hands to draw... especially that badly." Michonne says as Rick smirks at Merle, who slams his bayonet against the board in anger.

"Is this a menaj-ah-twa or an art class-now, shut the beep up and let meh think!" Merle huffs as Michonne and Rick shrug and wait for him to continue.

"Now, there is a multitude o' ways we can do this, we need a whip-"

"No whips." Michonne side eyes him before he continues. "The whip's for you to use woman! Now what you like better, whipped cream or jello-?"

Andrea walks in on their conversation in shock and wonder. "Whats going on?"

"Merle's helping us make a threesome." Daryl says as he leans against Michonne, who scratches him behind his ear.

"What the beep-no, this is all wrong!" Andrea snatches the marker from Merle and pushes the man away from the whiteboard.

"Y'all don't need props and planning, you need a story!"

"What the beep, this aint no soap opera!" Merle tries to take the marker away from her before she pulls a gun on him, making him back up.

Andrea starts to think out loud. "Ok, how about this... Michonne is a lost lonely woman looking for a good time, then an officer stops her... he's looking for a criminal-"

"Am I the officer?" Rick asks in excitement. "No it's Daryl, what the beep do you think? of course it's you!"

Michonne takes out a sheet of paper and begins taking notes. "What time does this take place?"

"How the beep should I know-" Andrea snaps.

"Some story this is." Merle jokes before Andrea aims her gun towards him then at the bed, making him sit down.

Andrea resumes her thought process. "Michonne's held captive by the bandit Daryl who wants her beep!"

"Her beep?!" Daryl asks in fear and confusion.

"Yeah, her beep!" Merle chuckles.

"One more word and I'll kill you." Andrea warns the Dixon brothers before she continues.

"Rick and Daryl, being men willing to compromise, agree that Michonne will be let free... after they both share her-" Andrea is interrupted by Rick, who has a better idea.

"How about Daryl and Michonne share me instead... I don't mind-It's uh, for the good of the group... they need to know that they can trust me."

"When do I get to beep her?" Daryl asks in frustration.

"After act five."

"I aint waitin for no five act's, I want some beepy."

Andrea slams her hand on the whiteboard in frustration. "No, no, no! follow the beeping story, it will ignite the passion." Andrea urges.

"Maybe we should just do it and see where it goes... " Michonne says in a tired voice before yawning.

"If we're doing this, we're going to do it right! Michonne is the damsel in distress, Daryl's the bad guy and Rick's the hero-" Andrea is yet again interrupted by Merle.

"How he the hero, when he's working wif' Daryl to get into Michonne's pants? Sound like a dirty cop to meh... is he a dirty cop?" Merle asks as Rick nods in agreement. Daryl sighs out in frustration before standing up and taking the marker from Andrea.

"Dammit, that's it, I'm out, I'm only doing this anyway to git with 'Chonne and I can't even beep her with y'all beepin' it up!" He looks at her as her normally emotionless face becomes sadly expressive. "Daryl... if you didn't like the idea, you should had said so."

"It aint the idea, it's everybody else that I don't like?" He shout at Andrea who gasps in mock shock.

"So we aint doing the story no more?" Rick chimes in.

"Beep the story, everybody get the beep out!"

"You can't kick me out of my own room!" Andrea yells.

"You get out first." He screams at the blonde.

As the room is quiet Daryl and Michonne sit down on Michonne's all to familiar bed. She looks at him and sighs, "I'm tired, you wanna lay down?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Daryl, just to sleep."

"Yea...yea I can do that."

Rick pops his head back into the room. "Am I still invited?"

Daryl and Michonne share a look then both shrug in unison as Daryl waves Rick in, "Alright, but no spooning... either of us."